YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ก.ย. 2024
- ➡️Schedule A One On One Coaching Session Today email: narcdailyvideos@gmail.com
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Your youtube channel saved my life
❤️🙏💯🙌☀️
❤
"Off To The Races!" I like that you used that! Thanks.❤
An older sibling slandered me to everyone I knew. Even my daughter and my grand kids etc etc the list is long. I finally let her have them. All of them. Including my spiritual family. Really they at least should have known better. Never again.
Me too...😊😂❤🎉😅😊
I wish I didn’t need these reminders every day, but I do. Thanks Andrew ❤
Welcome ❤️🙏
Yup!
Same!🙋🏻♀️💯
Ignorance isn't always bliss,
another reason knowledge is power.
💯💯😉
You deserve a gold star for sitting in the heat and humidity ⭐️
😇❤️😊
Once you see it, you can't unsee it. You will start to heal.
Andrew you have given so much of your time for us.
💖
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You can't unsee it! Truer words were never spoken.
I am turning 62 and leaving my whole family behind. It feels excruciating some days. And amazingly peaceful other days.
There should be a NARCS ONLY dating app 😠 and they can all be happy and cheat and do each other wrong (how they deserve) and leave the rest alone
😂You could make one!
Actually I’ve always thought that they should be sent back to their own planet and leave the rest of us alone 👍
Thank you so much Andrew you have save my life. I know now definitely what was happening with my relationship with my husband. I’m walking out of this marriage. I’m done with all this abuse. Divorce is on the way.
Welcome 🙌💯🙏😌
A lot of things almost instantly came to light when my husband passed. Apart from finding out that he was schizophrenic and never served in the military, I also learned that he was keeping in communication with a serial killer (Todd Kolhepp) 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ it is ONLY by God’s Grace that my husband didn’t tell this person that he had a wife and child 😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫
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That is horrifying!!!
Another excellent session!! I can relate to the keys scenario so well!!! I had several sets made and he had trouble understanding my ploy!! Have been out of the toxicity for many years, but I won't forget all the crazy nonsense!! All folks please exit the abusive cycle and get to that peak of indifference -- a wonderful place to be!! Sending love and inspiration to all.🙏🙏 Thank you Andrew for the never ending wisdom and support!!❤❤❤
Hi Mary! Hope you are well!❤
I loved this man so much . It was difficult for me to believe that he could be so devious.
I am now 10 years past and I still feel the pain as he destroyed. My relationships with my family...
I wish I could give Andrew a hug for real. He has such a big and loving heart.
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Andrew has a heart, & is a very attractive man...sure we all want to give Andrew a hug! Thanks Andrew 💓
🎉Thankgod now we all here know now🎉❤😊😊
@@DJ-le5loYes, he is!
It’s still hard for me to believe that people can be so mean and took advantage of my kindness and good heart . One day at a time and knowledge gives much needed strength and healing , Thanks Andrew.
❤❤❤people are deceptive and calculated...but now we know...or gain wisdom as Andrew would say...we will make better decisions...
My family and I didn’t know what we didn’t know when we invited our houseguest to stay with us. Now we are seeing CONFIRMATION of her narcissism and just how DIFFICULT she is to get OUT of our house. I have NO sympathy OR patience for narcs OR bullies. They ABUSE it! 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
☺️🙌💯
Shut the power off, throw her food on the ground & don't let her use any of your stuff, unplug everything. Worked for me a bit extreme and cruel but if they're killing you physically with their emotion projections it really isn't, it's about protecting yourself and family.
🙏🤗🙌❤️
@@Bawkr 😆 I LIKE it!!! 😁👍👍Oof… I don’t think my parents will be in board with it, but I like it!!!
@@gratefultobehere Sup, Chelsea?! 🙌😁🙌🤗❤️🤗☀️😇💞💜🌺🌷
So very true, and we learned our roles as placaters from childhood. And nothing changes when NOTHING CHANGES. 😫
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❤ 🙌
@warriormom5843 you are so right. We are trained in childhood.
SO tired of being a placater & nice to anyone & everyone.
@@dubaiedge me too!! So very done!
Funny you mentioned about the missing keys, because similar things happened to me a few times. While frantically searching, he would watch me, and once found at a place where I would think to myself, 'why in the world would I have put that there', he would begin to belittle me. He'd say I'm really losing it or some other kind of condescending remark. Man child is a fairly good term for my experience with the narcissists.
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Oh the controlling games they play grr 😠 🐯 - especially enjoyed the gaslighting of every kitchen utensil 🙄 - they sure are something these manipulators
@@gratefultobehere Hi Chelsea,
It appears this is another common thread many of us have experienced. I still find it truly amazing that no matter how old one becomes, the games never stop! Actually, in my experience, it seems the older they get, the worse they become. 🥴
Yes, my ex narc will text me, to answer my son's messages, cause he doesn't want to be part of his life. I told my son, we are not part of his life anymore, we need to accept this. So my son has a job and will not contact his dad anymore. The narc is not father material anyhow, I reminded him about visits with his own daughter years ago! He only used the daughter to trap the first wife, ( lousy narc.)
@@Divinely_Guided444 oh yes, which is why I kept making excuses (“maybe they have dementia Lord”??? And what did I do? Prayed for their healing 🤦♀️).
You nailed it.
The most horrible feeling is that you never know how will they attack even you are not with them their food is to keep attacks ,word no makes them mad ,everything what is not as they want .The Best way is no contact and move away
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I was literally robbed, beaten, and falsely imprisoned by my narc. Sounds extreme or embellished but it's nonetheless true. Fortunately I was discarded and able to get distance and peace. Now I'm on the healing path and educating myself about narcissism thanks to channels like Andrew's.
It took me a long time to realize I have a right to be mad. Who wouldn't be mad at someone for destroying your life. Being mad about it is okay getting even is up to God.
Let go and show them you haven't lived your best years left.
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I never realized how draining the relationship had been with my ex until he left. I had been preparing myself bc I saw it coming. And sadly it wasn’t my first narcissistic rodeo. It will be my last. Each one was different and the only kind left for me to fall for would be the murdering kind, so I’m calling it quits. I’m happy alone and I can’t believe my energy levels now! I have gotten so many things done around my home! I ask myself why I waited for years for him to fix anything?? Why didn’t I just do it myself long ago? Because I was exhausted, and I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I assumed I was just getting old, I had a lot of inflammation, heart and gut issues. All almost have disappeared since he’s been gone. I sleep, I have energy, I feel 15 years younger! Please people, care enough about yourself to leave toxic people behind you. They will literally make you sick.
Thank you for sharing 🙌💯😌
Hey Andrew, I'm so glad you mentioned hiding the keys. I suspect that my narc would take ingredients that i knew i had bought from the store for a recipe and steal them. Id be right in the middle of making dinner having a melt down because i knew it must be there. Then he would have to save me and go get the item from the store. He probably never went to the store. He probably placed the item in a bag to make it look like he had been. After a while of this happening, i started to doubt myself and my reality so much. They are pure evil. Im so thankful to be away from him. Yay!
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Never a truer thumbnail was written. Timely content. Thankyou.
Welcome 😌🙌💯
This is a very important message Andrew. You give a lot of informations and all of it is on target. Thank you and have a wonderful day! ❤😊
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Yep, with my ex I had to bury extra keys outside because he would take mine. It's so sad these people live to hurt others. So horrible 😢
I still hide my stuff,plus my family has copys it's 10months and I still have pts
I understand!! So many of us went through the same things!! Blessings ❤🤍💚
The long and and crooked road .
Take the fastest route off that road it took me 6 decades.
Your help is greatly appreciated Brother 🙏🏼
Love your profile pic 🐓
My ex-husband satan narc MARRIED me while he was having an affair with a married woman who was of a couple who were our friends!! But yet, he called me crazy! 🤣🤣🤣 I can laugh at it now so I hope that gives someone hope! At the time, I was not a happy camper and experienced reactive abuse when I found out. It took some counseling to get through and learn about the domestic abuse cycle, but back then, narcissism wasn't on the radar of the therapists. He was a complete narc!! Know that you WILL GET THROUGH THIS! Namaste.
Good morning ☀️ Andrew & good morning ☀️ to everyone here . Andrew yeah and you don't know till it is to late !! June the 22 of last month it has been 2 completely years of completely no contact . Thank you Andrew for all your videos . Your videos has help me so very much & due to you and everyone here ,it has made me so strong . . I'm so much stronger . Thank you & everyone here .. Andrew I hoped you & everyone here to have a wonderful lovely blessed day 🙏 My beautiful snowy girl also wish you all to a happy beautiful blessed day. Woof woof .
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wow two years! Congratulations!!!
The smear campaign is all about jealousy and envy. This is probably the most despicable thing these people do. I see it in action. Even on other unsuspecting individuals. As it’s been said, also very true. If people who know you join forces with them or decide to go rouge on you. Well then they really never took the time to know you and were not meant to be in your life to begin with. Most certainly for the best! It’s less you have to personally remove. ✌️ Keep moving along, smile , hold your head up high and let the trash take itself out. I have finally reached my pinnacle. Life is to short to let them rent space in my head any longer. DONE ✔️
Thank you as always Andrew. ❤
Welcome 🙌💯😌🙏
Good comment❤
The smear campaign defines their character not yours.
@@sanjmalik6282 absolute truth 💯
@@HeavenlyLights 🙏🏻❤️🇺🇸
Don't accept the hoover- you move on! Otherwise the narcissists game play starts again!!!! No Contact.
Hey there! ❤🙏😊. Haven’t been here in awhile but always I refer people to you. Just stopping by to say hello and prayers for you and all you love and this community
I aligned my crucial learning journey with Neo’s training in The Matrix
December 31st will mark 4 years in recovery July 20 will be 3 years no contact. ( he still watches me and reads my messages etc but whatever.. shrug. Hopefully he will get bored and move on
So proud of you! You’re helping untold amounts of people!
😉
Take good care , my friend
Bendiciones 🙏🕊️❤️
"Death by a thousand paper cuts!!!" That describes the whole darn mess!!!
I love having boundaries and being able to take stock of life and live in peace as a well person!!! If you become(are) sick when you are in the company if a person(narc.) You are definitely in a bad, evil, destructive, disruptive situation!!! I cannot tell you how many times in 28 years I wanted to break free from the narc spouse. Devotion to marriage because all others in my family and my parents stayed together was my reason. My health was declining and I was losing my employment soon before I left the narc. I saw many women leave their husband's but I thought they were what I called "social climbers." Boy was I wrong! More women than men were taken advantage of. Though one fine gentleman I knew, a nurse Lost in his marriage. I felt for him, though he was from a whole different culture, and I didn't dare try to be involved with him. I see things better than before, Andrew and his education has helped me understand what I did not know! Stick with us here on this channel and learn and prep yourself for a better life. Boundaries are the only way to go. I thought I had them, I have learned bettering from Andrew. Be safe during this holiday. It's so dry here in our town they cautioned against fireworks, so we don't have unnecessary fires! My Best to All here and stay strong and vigilant against the narc!!!
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Thank you for sharing this 🙌💯🙏
YES befor you and dr ramani I was fighting in the dark..you are the light and clarity on the demon..ty now I can see my enemies 😉😉
True be around people who are positive not against you
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24 year relationship.... married 2 kids.... I never knew that this could have been fake.smh I'm a man who never knew people could be like this. I can't unsee any of this. She doesn't even know me whatsoever...24 years and doesn't know my mom's full name who lives 4 miles away .
Ive found for the aging narcissist (he is 67) that is very difficult for him to keep his lies straight and when i call him out on them, when i do slip and engage. .. he will say i didnt say that even if it was 30 seconds before. Which it was.
With the knowledge i am learning and the confidence, plus the tools i am gaining ground and shutting him down.
You sharing your experiences is brave and helpful to so many. Thankyou from my heart. ❤
Welcome 😌🙌🙏
I remember when I first started at a new job I told one of my coworkers I didn't think the (narc) boss meant her email the way she said it. The coworker said " she knows exactly what she is doing". I should have left jobs then instead of staying another 9 years. Learned my lesson finally!. Love your channel Andrew!
It’s scary how easy they make us question our sanity! 😵💫😵💫😵💫
Thank you. Excellent descriptions.
I have been believing I am stupid and worthless for decades. Beliefs the narcissists instilled as part of the gaslighting and manipulation. It is hard to change those beliefs.
You give specific examples of their malicious behavior that keep us trapped for them to continue the abuse.
It is hard, but once one truly accepts that they do it deliberately then the belief that we are stupid can change to reality where we know it was just lies used to control us.
It is never the targets fault that a perpetrator attacks.
Welcome 😌🙌🙏
Thats what they do. They have no game so they run interference to feel important. ✌️💯
This is a really great presentation that will make a significant difference in some peoples lives. Thank you Andrew 🙏
Looks like holiday week slowing responses. this is a great video Andrew. This is a time to take in new cosmic energies for us. Hold on to your home in the arms of the Milky Way Galaxy and
may your soul expand in all strength and wisdom for these times. Bravo!!
Please don't feel like you have to rush thru video's - honestly I would listen to Andrew for an hour or more!
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@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone It's almost 6am here - Ive been awake all night. I'm emotional because I have to go to court on Wednesday to testify about all the crap I went thru, I'm stressed and scared. The narc is trying to say I was the abusive one and I'm facing possibly - if his lies are berlieved - up to two years behind bars. I'm scared.
Good luck to you. You wouldn't believe my story about taking my narc to court. Needless to say, I lost. If you're a woman you definitely have that going to your advantage. Apparently crying helps, even fake tears. I'm serious. Do whatever you can to win if you are a true victim. There is no justice in Amarica so lie and act and pretend if you have to, because you know HE will!
@@lizh6420 Hold the higher ground. An attorney told me to always hold the higher ground. Wear your favorite outfit. Just be you and don't worry about the end results. Say your words.
@@preparedsurvivalist2245 Good advice - thank you. (I'm a woman in New Zealand.) I can't cry on demand, I wish I could think of something to rub in my eyes to create tears. On the other hand I don't want to appear to be manipulative because then I'm stooping to his level. I will tell the truth. I want to be set free & leave all this ugliness behind me.
My Narc mother threw out my series 7 study material. She said she was going to be the one to teach a lesson, that I couldn't "skate by" in life. That I was a liar. I was skating by because every time she would ask if I was studying I would say "yes" (which I was because I had a crib note study guide as well) but right before the exam I wanted to review the extended material. It was then she told me she threw them out and I sobbed uncontrollably.
When I finally went to therapy and could't convince my Narc mom and sister to come to a therapy session. My therapist said to me "If you've accepted this behavior for almost 40 years, who's to say you won't accept it for the next 40 years?" The thought was horrifying but it was time to grow up and make it on my own without the illusion of a family.
Thank you Andrew!
Welcome 🙌😌🙏
I know what your feeling I do keep going I’ve been letting go the illusion of a healthy family for the last 6 months and finding out most of my family members are narcissists and you have to fight every day till your out set a time line with a exit plan work hard everyday till you reach that goal of exiting.
You don't know, what you don't know!!!
Knowledge is Power!!!💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾
#NarcFree #NoContact #IChooseMe #SelfLove
A blessing you are for me. Thanks dear friend Andrew 🗡🙏🏼🌈
I didn't know that he got a son with another. And a lot of things also...I got only lies when I found out and asked.
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Andrew the thumbnail here and your other videos that touched on this REALLY helped me in the beginning of my healing journey because I was beating myself up for “not knowing better” and “not having spiritual discernment” - I was self shaming A LOT (and there were others who assisted me in that). So, your message today instead comes with such clarity and joy inside of me!!! Because I no longer blame myself and the truth is I was really groomed for toxic relationships from very young. I SO appreciate the messages you deliver in creativity and compassion and even when it’s a repeat topic, I’m always catching something new. Bless you so much ❤❤❤
Welcome..❤️🙌😌😇
Great comment. I too blamed myself for not knowing. It was so hard to let go of that way of thinking! Thanks for sharing this. Good to know I am not alone!
@@richardhowe3951 you’re welcome
I don't like feeling like a dumb ass!😢
Heyy Chelsea! I had to get away for a while. Was going crazy with this talk everyday. I'm fine and he's in Therapy. Miss talking to you. ⚘️💕☺️
Thank you again Andrew; many blessings to you. Namaste 🙏 💎⭐️
No but when you do know you see it cleanly as it really is another lesson learned.
Life is a book of lesson's
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always an ecouragement !
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GOOD JOB, Andrew!!!! 👏🏼
This is so amazing...I am in the beginning of post stage...last night I was reading my old journals...and Just could see things unravel... And I just said how could I fall for this entrapment...too smart 4 this...few hours later this clip surfaces and just moved my heart...bc EVERYTHING you said is so on point...I just didn't know... Ultimate set up...for what... Image...house... Car...every example is what I experienced... and it just comforting to know...im not crazy and My final conclusion was Right...the marriage (15 months) was fake... I was deceived...maniuplated...played etc...what a disgrace... I wish I could show you my writings BC everything I have gone through since 2019 you hit it... I was at the highest point in my life when we meet...unbelieveable... I have listened to this 3 times ...ty Andrew❤❤❤
There was no Google or you tube when I was studying mythology and learned about Narcissus. I knew I was dealing with one as Echo dealt. . Treated as a child told to be seen and not heard. Conceal, don't heal. Don't feel..told grief was anger. Told anxiety needed medication..told many things that turned out to be lies and words spoken and accepted as gospel. Without even asking ..
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May our Creator rebuke them
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Thank you Andrew for another inspiring video.
I recently heard a great quotation from the sadly late Italian footballer Gianluca Vialli, who said “In life we win or we learn”. No mention of losing. To me that is an incredibly strong message, we haven’t lost through narcissistic abuse but learnt and become stronger. God bless you Andrew and our tribe on our healing journey.👃♥
Welcome 😌🙌😇
Moved to help my Mother an daughter, meth addiction,
Which broke me an my partner up
My daughter caused alot of issues..
My partner was very controlling an decided to play mind games.
He broke it off..broke my heart..
So now I'm stuck with my daughter an her nacc abuse towards me an my mother..
Was just trying to be there for my family an I lost everything..😢
I Like it, when you say no to someone, you are are saying yes to yourself , Andrew you are to much ❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉
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Thanks Andrew I've come to realise that i cannot waste my energy trying to explain or show what happened to me and I'm different now. They have not been there and still thinks this " Person" is wonderful 😮???????
My husband would go to the gym at 4:30 in the morning. It opened at 5. It was 60 seconds from our house. I caught on and called him he would never answer. I would question him and I was a crazy see you next Tuesday and delusional. Long story short once it ended the first time who was he dating rt away? The 25yr old trainer at the gym that opened the gym in the mornings.
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My friend was a narc. He was "on call" with his job and had to go "reboot the server" in the middle of the night for his job. Turns out, the "server" was really a 30 y/o married mother of 2 who was cheating on her husband with multiple men, including my friend. He of course was also cheating on his long-time girlfriend. He couldn't believe why she dumped him, because their sex was "so good". Enraged by the rejection, he called her a kuhnt and got a restraining order taken out on himself by her. Total narcissist. How dare you not accept me after I cheat on you!
The hiding the keys stuff was done by my younger brother. He has been attested for violence, etc.
Sometimes we wish we could know the whole picture of their disgusting, deceptive existences. But in our heart, we already know how evil, cruel and disordered they were. It's time to take our focus from their darkness towards the light 🕯️🪷
This is what happened!!!!! The Hoover after 2 years. I believed he changed. I wish I knew about narcissistic behavior then. I have so much guilt and sadness especially for my son. We were ok. My son was ok! I’m so mad at myself.
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I blamed myself for the end of the relationship - “if only I could have gotten him to open up and get off his phone” Thank you for clearing this up for all of us, dear Andrew!
I miss the "beautiful costa riCA!" ❤ Thanks for your videos, Andrew.
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At that time, I didn't know what I didn't know. I respected my vows not him. Good riddance. Thank you Andrew and tribe.❣️🇺🇲
Yep❕ takes a while to wake up to the Sinister Hyenish behaviour n mentality
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Thank you 😊👋 my goodness thank you
Welcome 🙌💯😌
Trust me I got hoovered a second time to only help with money untill I could feel and see she had a plan I stopped any more money and she showed anger by trying to blame me saying she new I would do this lol ,I still sometimes find it so so hard to believe that she was that person but she was even now I get bad stuff she tryes to do but I just don't stand the sh..t I just tell her who and what she is I know I shouldn't but I do because I want her to know just how bad she is and that I know who she is 5 monthes and I'm still digesting it all but recovering
This video has confirmed a lot of what I thought was going on in a "friendship". Thank you.
BE STRONG ENOUGH TO BE HONEST AND KIND
THEN MAY PEACE BE WITH YOU A MARVEL GAZE ITS SPIRITUAL AND NOT RELIGIOUS
"ALTERNATE REALITY" This video is the most accurate description of the time spent with the narc. The whole process from the beginning to end. Love bombing to the discard or final escape. We knew nothing about the beast known as the "Narcissist" and their tactics. THE WHOLE RELATIONSHIP WAS AN ALTERNATIVE REALITY. I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT THE BUBBLE I WAS IN. I have awaken to the issues of my past that made me vulnerable to the narc. Never again. Thank you Andrew for the clarity, honesty and dedication to unravel this very complex issue. NAMASTE!♥
Namaste 🙌😌🙏
What’s so unique about this is that I ended my friendship on my mother’s birthday god rest her soul
I was caught in my own pattern of "Proving myself." They picked up on it and kept raising the bar. Forget it. Prove nothing
to no one ( toxic people esp. ) . You're as good and adequate as need be. 👍🙏
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Say it louder for the people in the back 🙏🤲🌳🌱🌸💗
Didn’t know what was going on a totally smoke screen of madness 😎
I stayed for forty years and I accept my role in staying. I woke up towards the end and I was so devastated in my life that I took revenge I did to him what he did to me I lied manipulated his groupies against him he ended up losing his dream job he bragged about he lost his family and friends and because he really is stupid he has no idea I turned the tables. I walked out with my clothes I had on and twenty dollars for a bus to another town. Am i a mean person no and I do feel a little ashamed but people should never abuse a woman who cooks you food it may be dog doo
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Dog doo 😂😂😂
Wow…..💪👏💪👏🏋♀🏋♀💪👏💪👏
I'm on my way!!! 😊 It's been a GREAT DAY!
Thank you Andrew!! ❤ I know its quite hot in North Carolina right now, stay cool
hey buddy hope you are well i have been a little busy today it's hot here 😊
Thanks for your honesty! I really need it.,
Thank you. Very grateful for your info.
Just a note
to say
THANK YOU
🎉 Thankgod all of us here now know 🎉❤😊
It’s a horrible situationship to be in.
To not know if they are doing it on purpose or if it’s just that they don’t understand the turmoil you’re going through because they may be distracted or have ADHD.
It makes you feel like a bad person, because everyone seems to think that the other person is great.
The other person is calm and chilling while you’re all stressed out and tense and irritable. It leaves you wondering if you’re a monster.
It’ll slowly strip you of your reality…….you’ll feel unstable and emotional and angry and sad and sorry for the person but at the same time angry at the person……because like Andrew says…..you don’t know what you don’t know, but you know there is something that you don’t know.
.
It’s exhausting.
.
They are the hero.
They are great.
They are the nicest sweetest perfect person but there’s just something that you’re not seeing because you are a monster.
- - if that’s what you feel, then you need to take a step back and start thinking like an engineer who is trying to plan a round trip expedition to Mars on the Falcon 9.
Meaning ….. maybe it’s time to approach the puzzle in your life mathematically. Just science. No emotions. Approach it logistically and analyze the situation with your “what if” switch set to OFF. No room for doubts….just FACTS and STATS.
Use the facts only. Don’t wonder if they did it on purpose or if they forgot or if they have ADD or ADHD or narcissistic tendencies or if they are having an affair or if they are trying to drive you out. Or if they did it mean it. Just use the facts.
.
One time I had a therapist advise me on how to communicate with my my ex husband - EXAMPLE ; “When you come into bed with your feet dirty (and his ass - since I’m practicing complete disclosure) there are crunchy things on the bed from you walking around in your bare feet all day , it makes me feel like you don’t care about the way I feel or that I try to keep the bed clean, because I’ve communicated to you before that it bothers me, because I like sleeping in my underwear (really I like to sleep naked but I wasn’t comfortable sleeping naked with him anymore).
The behavior didn’t change. I think maybe it got worse with more gravel and dirt in the bed than ever….but I still am not sure about it because I was already feral at that point and I never had the idea to use surveillance cameras.
He just acted exasperated like it was one more rule he had to follow.
Like the warden (me being the warden and he being the prisoner) was handing down a new rule.
Then the therapist told me to put down little rugs at the bed side. I did. I placed one on each side of the bed. Just in case he decided to climb in on the other side. He never even used them.
Not once. Not once did he wipe his feet before climbing into bed. An experiment failed. Long story short……the therapist ended up telling me that my ex husband is a master manipulator. All I needed was for someone who didn’t love me so much that their loyalty made them choose my side, to tell me that I’m not crazy. My husband was demonstrating behaviors that were consistent with someone who had contempt for me, and there was a strong possibility that my analytical mind had sorted it out and figured out that it was being done on purpose because the odds of it being coincidence were very very low. But my good nature kept giving him the benefit of the doubt. Dissonance.
It was draining me. Making me angry and hostile . And that’s what people saw. His awesomeness, and my hostility from reactive abuse.
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If you’ve read this far…..you need to know that you are not alone.
It happens.
You’re not insane.
I’m not saying you figured it out - I’m saying - treat the symptoms.
Treating the signs and symptoms like a doctor or a nurse.
I’d it acts like a headache, throw a Tylenol at at. If it acts like a stomach ache, use the Pepto. If it acts like sore muscles , take a warm soak.
Treat the symptoms.
If it acts like passive aggression…….treat it like aggression.
If it acts like it doesn’t care about you……treat it……like it doesn’t care about you.
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The best thing I ever did was leave someone who acted as if they were trying to wear me down so I could leave them. Leave them in the perfect apartment with cheap rent that my friends from my dads church found for me.
I left.
Me.
He stood in the apartment.
I left.
I left my babie’s bed and her toys and my clothes and shoes and bags and nice things that I bought for the home (like most women do)
I left my expensive goose down bright white comforters. I left all the pots and pans and tv.
I took only what my kid and I absolutely needed…….through even try thing into the back of a white cargo van with the help of my frienf and left.
It was a Memorial Day.
He had told me he had to work…..but really he was at a BBQ with friends.
I’ll never forget looong into the review mirror and seeing my friend Tammy, back there in the cargo area, holding my little clueless girl. I celebrate my “emancipation” every year on Memorial Day.
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All of this to say…….treat the symptoms. Get out.
Leave him. Hell drive you crazy and waste your life and he already has another life you know nothing about. In that life/….you are the monster and he’s only with you because it convenient and everyone in his circle sees you as a
Monster. GET OUT .
I truly believe you have saved lifes through your work and this channel, you saved mine Andrew. Said it before but can't never be enough, thank you for helping "survivours" literally survive and find the way back . ❤️
Welcome 😌🙌😇🙏
Thank you Andrew 🙏🙏🙏
It was like the twilight zone. Bombarded all day long but you never knew when the attack was coming. No wonder I had more energy then. The keys example was on the money Andrew.
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I agree. No one on the planet earth can imagine what means to deal with proffesional manipulator day in and day out. Never know the bext move, never can know the r next surprises. Surprises are everywhere. But you have to figure out everything by yourself. As all who are around-, play the game with a narcissist and not saying a single word. You have to understand that all world is against you and you are against the world -as you are in situation-to fight everyone just because you are in situation. Why? You do jot not know why.
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As they say "been there and done that." You can't understand unless you have experienced it!! True fact..
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Thank you. This is exactly the message I needed today. Just feeling so down on myself for everything I did wrong along the way. I didn't know any better. I never met anyone that evil as the narc.
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Thank you Andrew. That bench behind you reminds me of a bench that’s waiting for me. It’s time for me to hike up that botanical garden to that bench. It’s such an Amazing view to see the Pacific Ocean 🌊 from that bench. Thank you Andrew! Namaste🙏🧘♀️✨💫
Thanks Andrew all makes sense now ❤
Welcome 😇😌
I like it Andrew!!! Thank you so much!!!!❤❤❤❤
I’m praying for you my friend ! Focus on God! He is the only way that I get through each day .. I have to take care of a narcissist who is sick with a colonoscopy bag and I feel that there is no way out cause honestly, I have a heart of gold but I pray everyday, that I become strong like you!! I know that I’m being used by someone that I love so much and care about so much!! But it’s killing me , so I know what I need to do , I just can’t figure out when I need to do it !! God is definitely with you my friend!! I’ll always pray for you and actually pray for this world !! God bless you my friend with peace and happiness 🌎 🙏🙏🙏💔
Thank you so much Andrew..💜🙏
Welcome ❤️🙏
Thank you so much for your real messages. 🙏 you are giving me great hope.😢
Welcome 😌🙏💯
Yep, pivotal, called retirement. He thought that our retirement was HIS retirement, lol. Listen to the words people use. If they use "his" and "hers" then they aren't all in.
Good observation. ThankYou for sharing❤
Yes, I had to learn this new language. Knowing is powerful ❤
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Thanks Brother. I just listened to some old recordings of her and me on the phone(after I had to record to see them clearly) and WHOA! I can't believe I believed her b s.! She was constantly manipulating me and the situation and I didn't get it even while I was recording. I still wanted to believe that I just wasn't listening properly to her needs. I was never going to understand, she didn't want me to
Looks like you stepping it up on your walks great job 👏 🙌
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thank you Andrew. Prevented a hoover acceptance with this 1
Welcome 💪💯😌