How to Forgive Your Spouse

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 115

  • @brandy777
    @brandy777 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    About 5 years ago my husband betrayed me. The day I found out I had been talking to a family member about our marriage and I said the only way I'd divorce my husband was if he cheated on me. A couple hours later I found out he had been. It wasn't just a coincidence, I truly believe it was the devil trying to destroy our marriage. At 1st I wanted a divorce, but then I began to pray about it and allow God to guide me. Through prayer and communication, I was able to forgive him. I am thankful to say God guided us through that storm and we are now happier & have a healthier marriage than we did before.

    • @damisrevenge
      @damisrevenge 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Thank you for sharing. the problem for me is every time I look at her I remember. and I wonder why I was not enough

  • @shalynceiaisom4809
    @shalynceiaisom4809 3 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    This gave me so much peace. I am a wounded wife & I am battling with trying to completely forgive. Ever other day its like I'm lashing out. I want to forgive but it hurts.

    • @paulawilkinson6341
      @paulawilkinson6341 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I can so relate I only found out 4 months ago my hubby is addicted to porn an he sed he’s always done it all the time we have been together. Am so hurt almost 28 years 4 kids built a home together. And he was having internet sex all along . But we had a loving happy marriage sex has always been good . But it did get less an now I know why . I just thought it was his age . Am very angry an hurt at the moment. I want to forgive an try make our marriage work but I just don’t know how long it’s goin to take to get past my broken heart . I feel like someone has put a bomb right onto our marriage

    • @SoBlessed2911
      @SoBlessed2911 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@paulawilkinson6341 🙏🙏

    • @malugurl04
      @malugurl04 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Me too

    • @josephamaro5823
      @josephamaro5823 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hi

    • @ThingsILove2266
      @ThingsILove2266 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@paulawilkinson6341 I’m so sorry. That hurts because your trust was broken. I hope you can find a group for support. Celebrate Recovery has support for both anxiety and depression.
      There are a lot of sisters going through this and my hope is you can find someone to connect with you. Don’t do this alone.

  • @IceMan-il7dx
    @IceMan-il7dx 5 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    " Be angry but dont sin. Dont justify bad behavour " - Amen to this.

  • @Speckled_Trout
    @Speckled_Trout 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    To anyone who reads this, please, please pray for me and my marriage. She has wounded me in the worst possible way. I’ve never felt pain this deep. I’m not suicidal by any means, but when this first happened I literally thought I would rather die than find out what she did. The world is darker, food doesn’t taste as good, music doesn’t sound as sweet, and the highs of happiness are lower than they used to be while the depths of despair have grown evermore deep. Please please pray for me I’m barely hanging on here I need God to intercede for me NOW. I don’t even know what my goal in life even is any more. The wind in my sails has been completely taken away. God please be close to me I need You

    • @brandy777
      @brandy777 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I'm praying for you, your heart and your marriage. A few years ago my husband turned my world upside down, completely knocked me off my feet and left me feeling not just betrayed, but broken. It takes time to heal from that kind of pain, but with Gods help, I was able to forgive him. When it all came out, I wanted a divorce, but I prayed to God, I listened to God and I am so thankful I did. 5 + years later, our marriage is healthier than it was before the "incident". It took a lot of work, communicating and praying together for us to be where we are now.

    • @motherof4540
      @motherof4540 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I'm going to say that my husband just blurts out that he has xhwayws on me when we were younger several times & spent another several times trying to cheat on me with wome. who rejected his advance's. It is so painful to me to think about how clueless & came home & he had spent the night w/someone when I went to a mocha trial weekend 4 law school. I'm angry & he won't talk about it anymore..Qe are in trouble. I'll pray for your marriage & We've made it 28yrs & our 18yr old daughter dying on acar accident and our house burned down that same night another disabled accident that took away his means to be the provider he has always been. i've never loved anyone else i've been with him wince 17yrs old. So idk if I have the experience/knowledge etc to counsel you but i'm here. I think marriage is nor q 50/50 relationship but a 100/100 if he not willing to completely carry it partner when they face plant in life & u both will & they'll need to carry you too maybe ur definition of marriage isn't an realistic one..❤ I am praying for you Andre

    • @SoBlessed2911
      @SoBlessed2911 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      🙏🙏 Currently feeling your pain!

    • @savedone6902
      @savedone6902 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Andra Diggs... I pray that you have truly healed from your pain a year ago and have heard the voice of God in your heart and soul... Not only to forgive yourself as well as your spouse... I pray that you have found your peace within yourself that the food tastes better as well as the sound of music... As the wind blows it gives you the Peace of God wrapped around your entire body and soul...

  • @Joygal315
    @Joygal315 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    This is powerful....it's easy because you both have an understanding and ready to deal with it. ...it hurts when it's only one person that cares or that even understand this whole thing 😭

  • @c.j.9248
    @c.j.9248 6 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    Praying about it daily. The pain is deep.

    • @layoolusola
      @layoolusola 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @CJ I send you warmth and hugs. The Lord help you to heal and forgive completely.

    • @waynegrobler7432
      @waynegrobler7432 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Doesn't it just hurt so bad.💔 But hate and unforgiveness just rots you from the inside. It destroys your health and your soul. Only the LORD who forgave us when we hated him can help you to forgive. 🙏🙏🙏🙏❤❤

    • @c.j.9248
      @c.j.9248 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@waynegrobler7432 so true!

  • @TMoz311
    @TMoz311 6 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    I'm working on this now, I pray God works through me for healing.

    • @TMoz311
      @TMoz311 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Samantha Morris Just trust things will get better, because they do!

  • @VincentNBridgetMoses
    @VincentNBridgetMoses 6 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    What Jimmy is saying is ABSOLUTELY TRUE!!! I learned through Holy Spirit first of all that we HAVE TO forgive if we want to experience the freedom Jesus died to give us. I had a LOT of unresolved bitterness, resentment, unforgiveness, & anger from legitimate reasons (incest, multiple rapes, being betrayed/abandoned by my family) that was LITERALLY eating me up from the inside out (so much so that I ended up on a walker at 30 years old from both of my labrums tearing in my hips!). When we forgive it's for US, NOT THEM! We're NOT saying that what they did was ok, we're saying that we're not going to allow them to hold us hostage anymore, because quantum physically we're literally tied to them when we choose not to forgive & when they think a negative thought about us we're ACTUALLY affected by it (source Dr. Caroline Leaf)! I've heard it said that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die, it's just NOT going to work! Not only that, but since WE'VE been forgiven by God for all that WE'VE done (because if we were judged by the mosaic law we'd ALL be guilty!) we're able to extend that forgiveness to others as well! What Jimmy said about the lies we believe about them not being true is CORRECT as well! I had to start qualifying people's intent, because when we've been hurt so many times our brain starts flashing red flags all over stuff that really ISN'T the truth in order to protect us/self-preservation. I found out that the reasons for people in my life doing what they were doing were NOT what I thought they were AT ALL!!! God started showing me that I was incorrectly interpreting what their intent was, & it was MY incorrect interpretation of the circumstances that was causing/perpetuating the victim mentality that I had developed over the years as a way of protecting myself! Boy THAT was a HUGE pill to swallow, but I can HONESTLY say that I am FREE today and I've been experiencing JOY for really the first time in my 38 years on this planet, not only that but God is healing my body too and I feel better than I have in years!!! God IS the Restorer of EVERYTHING that you will GIVE to Him & if you really challenge what you've believed your ENTIRE life He can do AMAZING things in & through your life!!!!!!! May God continue to bless and cover you Jimmy, Karen, your family, ministry, & everyone else that reads this LONG comment lol!!! My husband and I are coming to Rockford, IL this weekend (September 29th 2018) for the XO Marriage Conference, & I am SO VERY excited!!! To God be the glory!!! 💜💜💜

    • @maxtaylor7105
      @maxtaylor7105 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thank you my friend.... After 40 years I'm JUST beginning to agree with God about allowing His forgiveness into my marriage. Please pray for us....

    • @peitriot4763
      @peitriot4763 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      to God be the glory, Amen!

    • @peitriot4763
      @peitriot4763 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@maxtaylor7105 praying for you Max.

    • @VincentNBridgetMoses
      @VincentNBridgetMoses 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      UPDATE: Jesus COMPLETELY Healed my hips when I was worshipping last year! He also blessed us with our miracle son (we thought I was barren)! God is SO GOOD!!! He is a Restorer, & He gets ALL the Glory for my story!!! 💜💜💜🙏

    • @redhorse4728
      @redhorse4728 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you for your message. I loved what Jimmy said too but your message also put together some missing pieces of the jigsaw of my life. I so related to the mind body issue as have just discovered the same about my ongoing health issues . I choose to stay with my non Christian hubby so this is a process for myself ( presently without combined resolution) but God is blessing me so much and showing me so much . Thank you so much 😊

  • @adinubila
    @adinubila 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    I'm not Christian but wow - this made a lot sense

  • @ЕленаХан-р3л
    @ЕленаХан-р3л 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Thank you very much! These two days I do resist with unforgiveness... this time it was rooted very deep-my hurt. Thank you for just in time help and key how to forgive. God bless you!

  • @rachelhoskinator
    @rachelhoskinator 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you! I needed this. Not only for marital advice, but in general!

  • @1965gracebug
    @1965gracebug 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank you! I am healing and so desire to be forgiving, loving and kind to my best friend who is also my husband! I am choosing daily to meditate on these verses. I will now choose a visual picture of my best friend that he has great value and Abba adores him. Thank you.

    • @VincentNBridgetMoses
      @VincentNBridgetMoses 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Healing is DEFINITELY inevitable when we press in & we allow God into the darkest corners of our hearts! When we ask Him to come in & remove everything in our souls (mind, will, emotions)/lives that are keeping us from experiencing the exceedingly abundant life that Jesus died to give us, He does AMAZING things and is FAITHFUL to answer that prayer!!! When we do pray that however, be prepared to hear/do many things that you may not like to hear/do. Holy Spirit IS gentle and our Comforter, but He tells us the Truth about ourselves and it's not always easy to hear. To the extent that we're willing to press in & seek God's Will OVER our own we WILL reap the benefits of doing so if we do not loose heart! When I asked God to change me even if He NEVER changed my husband, I'll be honest... I didn't like what I heard all the time & there were times when I got frustrated that He wasn't getting on my husband for the things he did and the way he treated me and it seemed like He was always getting on me instead lol! I will tell you that things DRASTICALLY changed in me AND our marriage (my other relationships as well!) in a fairly short amount of time because of it, & it actually forced my husband to change in the process because like Jimmy's said before when one of you gets healed it's kinda like a teeter totter and it causes the other person to improve as well. Our marriage has NEVER been stronger and more fulfilling, & I've been experiencing TRUE JOY for the 1st time in in my life!!! I can deal with life a LOT better & more effectively, I forgive MUCH MORE QUICKLY than I have EVER forgiven before & I'm not as easily offended, my relationships are MUCH BETTER, & above ALL my relationship with God is stronger and more fruitful than it's EVER been in the past!!! God wants to do SO MUCH in/through our lives, but He can't do everything that He wants to do in/through us until we let go of the things that are holding us back/down! Ask God to search your heart, & help you to become the woman/wife that HE wants you to be, & ask Him to help you to see your husband/others through His eyes and command any lies that you & the people in your life have believed about one another to be COMPLETELY obliterated in the Name of Jesus!!! Continue to pray for & bless your husband, & encourage your husband in the areas that you want him to improve in (say he's not the best about how he uses his tone when he talks to you, when he DOES talk to you in a tone that's loving then point it out and tell him how much you love & appreciate it when he talks to you like that - just don't point out the times when he doesn't because men NEED to be encouraged & praised & he will most likely improve in that area because you praised him in it. They usually do more of what they're praised in. Men need to know that we believe in them and that we think that they're a good man, they need to be honored, respected, & praised and when they are they start improving!). Sometimes we feel like "Well if he did things right then I'd praise him for it!", but our husbands can only rise to the level that we see them. They can tell if we don't believe in them, they know when we don't respect them, & they CAN'T rise above the way that we see them. We have the power as wives to build up or tear down our husbands, & even if we don't "feel like" they deserve it at the time, we need to be our husband's CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer) DAILY because they NEED our praise! Like Jimmy says we're created in God's Image & we enter into His courts with praise & enter into His gates with thanksgiving. Our husbands are the same way. We can't expect intimacy with them & for them to be emotionally available/connected to us without doing the exact same thing, praising them and letting them know that we're grateful for them working so hard to take care of us and that we believe in them and think that they're a GOOD man! Ask God to help you to see your husband as the man that God created him to be, & ask God to help you to water the seeds of greatness and excellence in your husband so that you can help him to become the man that God created him to be before the foundation of the Earth was laid. We have such an AMAZING ability as wives to call out/nurture those seeds of greatness in our husbands, but we also have the ability to stunt the growth/maturation of the man that God has entrusted to us delaying him from becoming that man. We just have to decide what's MOST important to us, winning and being right or sacrificing that right for the BIGGER win by crucifying our flesh daily and encouraging & nurturing our husbands to become the man of excellence that God called him to be! When we do that consistently, it causes our husband to change as well. It says in the Word that we will win our husbands over by our chaste and respectful behavior. Nagging & complaining NEVER works, but if we can be the bigger/more spiritual person by redeeming our spouse and REFUSING to live by our feelings. If we decide that no matter WHAT, we're going to DO what God says in His Word and fight every spirit with the opposite spirit, then God WILL do an AMAZING work in our lives!!! Pray for & bless your husband, speak life over him/your marriage (BTW NEVER badmouth him to your girlfriends or your family because it's speaking death to your marriage! ONLY talk to God about your husband, because love covers, it NEVER exposes! When you do, it just makes you more angry and bitter and usually doesn't resolve anything anyways.), speak/confess God's Word over yourself and your family (calling things that are not as though they are, find Scriptures in the Bible that resonate with your spirit for your situation and speak/confess them over your life daily and stand on them no matter WHAT happens!), be your husband's CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer) and praise him daily, & watch what God does in your life!!! I hope that this is helpful. May God continue to bless and cover you and your family!!! 💜💜💜

  • @katsharp8954
    @katsharp8954 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you God for your word of truth and faithful servants, Jimmy and Karen Evans. Always learning and growing through their ministry and applying it.

  • @wyohtheshepherd7681
    @wyohtheshepherd7681 ปีที่แล้ว

    Just from the beginning, thank you. No matter what i get from this. Thank you.

  • @DoleshEdit
    @DoleshEdit 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This is a great teaching that helped me see clearer on forgiveness. Thank you Jimmy Evans!

  • @valariebranson5013
    @valariebranson5013 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    🙏🏽📖Lord Knows this Speaks Volumes about Branson Jr Marriage😇 Today... What a Magnificent Blessing This was to See & Listen to Today April 22, 2023...

  • @estig.1798
    @estig.1798 6 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Excellent subject!!!
    Love this godly channel and the awesome people who preach.
    Thank you so much!!!!!

  • @LoveTheChandelierRoom
    @LoveTheChandelierRoom 6 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Always such good, relatable teaching. Thank you for being transparent and honest with us. :)

  • @layoolusola
    @layoolusola 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This blessed me immensely.

  • @queenabelquiban3677
    @queenabelquiban3677 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is for me. Thank you pastor Jimmy

  • @TheTialalande
    @TheTialalande 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you I needed to hear that

  • @enchantinglysimple
    @enchantinglysimple ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks. Very helpful advice.

  • @joseantoniogarciarivas8042
    @joseantoniogarciarivas8042 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Actually very helpful video, wishing you all, grace, mercy, and peace.

  • @MOSEART85
    @MOSEART85 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Amen. Thank you for this video. It has helped me today.

  • @gratitude5740
    @gratitude5740 6 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Not towards spouse, but o was thinking of killing someone for betrayal and theft . Lucky he that he lives in another part of the world. He didn’t know the extent of my anger and what I wanted to do to him . After a year I forgave him and reached out to him , even though he did me wrong, I asked him for forgiveness.
    This has happen after listening to these podcasts and Gary Chapman for few weeks .

    • @nanakwame7650
      @nanakwame7650 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      You did well,some times those who hurts us do not realize the impact their hurt cause in our life.but u going to the one who hurt to forgive you that is divine and trust me it opens the gates of heaven and the blessing is unstoppable.

    • @Jay-pc2fp
      @Jay-pc2fp 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      forgiveness for what? you admitted you felt that way and asked for forgiveness or was there something that you did prior to the person doing that to you? curious.. either way, that is really big of you and that's amazing.

  • @elizabethsanta-cruz7594
    @elizabethsanta-cruz7594 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I'm new to the channel..so good

  • @sababajwa93
    @sababajwa93 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Wow this videos important

  • @victoromarparedescordova756
    @victoromarparedescordova756 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    God bless you and your family pastor Jimmy, man you are such a blessing to my life.

  • @Victoria-qk3mu
    @Victoria-qk3mu 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you ❤

  • @hanchips7
    @hanchips7 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    „If you cannot bless, you have not forgiven.“

  • @robertyacone9223
    @robertyacone9223 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Solid and uplifting

  • @MG-tc4mk
    @MG-tc4mk 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Powerful words. Thank you.

  • @chefjaypee007
    @chefjaypee007 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    God bless you sir for this piece

  • @evmikewilliams9021
    @evmikewilliams9021 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My wife currently in adultery has been very easy to forgive to the depths of my being because my love for her is to that depth. It is her adulterous guy who I have had difficulty coming to terms with

  • @TEmmettaGarswahemmo4real
    @TEmmettaGarswahemmo4real ปีที่แล้ว

    This for this teaching, cause I am currently feeling I married the wrong person. Especially being accuse falsely and you and your family are disrespected because of a wrong accusation.

  • @JadaSnacks
    @JadaSnacks 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    this was very helpful

  • @kathystammen3060
    @kathystammen3060 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Good information

  • @chimenehoward4944
    @chimenehoward4944 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Love this

  • @LilLion1818
    @LilLion1818 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Mashallah. Thank you.

  • @Midnightcrimefiles
    @Midnightcrimefiles 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I am so angry it is making me ill. 😢

  • @fcm729
    @fcm729 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    what do I do if my husband doesn't ever want to talk about our unresolved issues which is the source of my anxieties and insecurities ?

    • @edithjohnson6837
      @edithjohnson6837 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      PRAY!!!! God can change his heart and your too...allow God to convict

  • @natashamei9668
    @natashamei9668 16 วันที่ผ่านมา

    What happens when it has been so long you no longer love your spouse and is just going through the motions even though now they say they will do better but your heart is not with them?

  • @shibbler3355
    @shibbler3355 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Very very good teaching. But should we not forgive in person and not behind the seems? We're so used to saying sorry but should we go and forgive in person the same way we say sorry?

  • @Godfavorabletome
    @Godfavorabletome 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    No words

  • @MrBassdog
    @MrBassdog 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    A+ !!!

  • @beloveddiadam5793
    @beloveddiadam5793 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Gods blessings to you.

  • @kathystammen8774
    @kathystammen8774 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    How do you process your anger? I realize that I am angry which lead to depression, how do I process it how do I get rid of it?

  • @dijomercy1606
    @dijomercy1606 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Yeah Thanks For Your Words Brother, i cannot Forgive my Girlfriend even she is an Godly Person and Sweetest women ever i seen but i Deceived by satanic Councils but Your Words Helped me lot thakyuw God bless Youu.. 🥰

  • @mireyacorona9104
    @mireyacorona9104 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Oh man I needed this😔… so thankful

  • @jensbornagain
    @jensbornagain ปีที่แล้ว

    Is it still a blessing when you don’t mean it. I want to mean it but he keeps hurting me

  • @dianebruce4217
    @dianebruce4217 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    When my husband drinks, he curses at me when he is drunk and ALWAYS brings up issues from the past.

    • @brandy777
      @brandy777 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I'm praying for you and your husband.

  • @freddavidson286
    @freddavidson286 ปีที่แล้ว

    I've done a lot of dump things in 43 years of marriage my wife is moving out I pray she could find forgiveness she will always be the love of my life 🧬

    • @XOMarriage
      @XOMarriage  ปีที่แล้ว

      Hello Fred, so sorry to hear about that. We are praying for you and want you to know it's never too late to get help. Please visit XOMarriage.com/crisis

    • @freddavidson286
      @freddavidson286 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@XOMarriage thank you so much ❤️

  • @JonBlazeRealtor
    @JonBlazeRealtor 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    If you repent for your sins and terrible behavior and your spouse still holds you accountable and won't forgive you what is your advice?

    • @atli126
      @atli126 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Not sure if you got anywhere yet... But some say it takes along time,check out the affair recovery channel as it has alot of great info. But at the end of the day all you can do is take care of yourself.

  • @ABrinson924
    @ABrinson924 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I love Jimmy and Karen, but Jimmy, I miss your darker colored hair :) - Thanks for the video as always!

  • @chitaadkins6450
    @chitaadkins6450 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I have to forgive my husband soon to be ex. He chooses his pastor and church and quadriplegic friends over our marriage. He abandoned me 10 years over others. He's extremely selfish. Its all about him all the to and never see my heart, longing, neglect, abandonment and don't care about me at all.

  • @GabryGirl86
    @GabryGirl86 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    💯👏🙏🏼

  • @marge-bg4zn
    @marge-bg4zn 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    When your spouse LIES to your face about it, what then??

  • @benlotus2703
    @benlotus2703 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Men don't hate women for who they are, we hate that women can make horrible choices/decisions with no consequences, blame men, then turn around & say they're "strong & independent" 😑

  • @renukalazarus8288
    @renukalazarus8288 ปีที่แล้ว

    It’s easy cos 2 believing spouse both wanting to follow the Lord. But what abt your spouse is not a blvr n cares nothing for the Bible. So I’ve been eating humble pie for 49 yrs- as the blvng partner!