“Not allowing your mind to govern your actions and hold you hostage,” sounds so simple, logical and doable as a spectator. You can’t assume you know or understand your client’s lived experience. Your client experiences the world differently.
completely agree. but i’m at the point in my healing that i’m able to do things that help me feel better. i still have severe anxiety, little joy and often feel hopeless, but a GOOD doctor can help.
Self-blame and Shame = what I struggle with ; but most therapists GASLIGHT and blame me for blaming others and the reality is that others do cause us problems, destruction , bad decisions , coercive control , etc….
Sometimes there are things we can do, like taking babysteps to get away from the situation even if that means leaving a lot of wanted things behind too. And learning to work with what we've been dealt rather than blame ourselves for what others have done, because a lot of people will give themselves more responsibility for events than they deserve (and because others say it is so!).
It is a concept necessary for all clinical purposes to learn so many people will get to understand eventually what happened and how they behaved is able to be put in the right context and help themselves learn to except and heal themselves from these seemingly forever memories.
Compassion towards blame and shame is essential, since it's painful to live with. Telling someone they're "bad" or that something is "wrong" with them for the brain's natural adaptation to trauma isn't a very helpful view--in a way, this also feels shaming. It's a way for the brain to protect itself from re-experiencing things the way they went before: "If I blame myself, then I'll feel safe because I won't have to hurt another person again (because someone put the blame on me and I feel responsible). If I blame others, I can defend myself from the pain of being at fault, especially if it's unjust."
It's so important to make the distinction between content and consciousness! Although, I do believe that there is a true Self and it's consciousnesses. Being conscious and self-aware is the way to take responsibility.
We can’t know for sure about the lack of choice. It’s possible we did choose this content or this experience. Shame does seem to rely on the volition in order to bite. However volition and shame seem not to coexist. It is only with awareness that the communication received through the mind can be ignored.
Ummm, 'Who's the real me? This one orv the drug addict / drug baron? The with one with tattoos or the one without tattoos'. Wow. A little bit shaming (and short-sighted) to link the dangerous violent image of those in a drug gang with tattoos. .. Wouldn't want to go to a therapist who judges me in such a way just because I have tattoos. However' 'versions of patterns of electrical activity...' ' content is created for you, not by you '... That really hit and is useful... and not blaming myself for the potential to be harmful...
Crying while waatching this. What a HUGE relief. To be able to quit the shame and instead embrace why things have become as they are.
I'm not a therapist
but your channel helps me too
“Not allowing your mind to govern your actions and hold you hostage,” sounds so simple, logical and doable as a spectator. You can’t assume you know or understand your client’s lived experience. Your client experiences the world differently.
Talking helps everyone understand.
completely agree. but i’m at the point in my healing that i’m able to do things that help me feel better. i still have severe anxiety, little joy and often feel hopeless, but a GOOD doctor can help.
Self-blame and Shame = what I struggle with ; but most therapists GASLIGHT and blame me for blaming others and the reality is that others do cause us problems, destruction , bad decisions , coercive control , etc….
do you tell her this? it’s most important to look at yourself in this.
Sometimes there are things we can do, like taking babysteps to get away from the situation even if that means leaving a lot of wanted things behind too. And learning to work with what we've been dealt rather than blame ourselves for what others have done, because a lot of people will give themselves more responsibility for events than they deserve (and because others say it is so!).
Wonderful perspective. Brilliant and hopeful.
I was so afraid of my emotions, So enlightening.
Thanks for posting. Health days are always better than sick days. Dr. P. EDWARDS CONRAD.
It is a concept necessary for all clinical purposes to learn so many people will get to understand eventually what happened and how they behaved is able to be put in the right context and help themselves learn to except and heal themselves from these seemingly forever memories.
Best thing I've heard on therapy. So refreshing thanks I'll use this with my clients.
Brilliant!!!!
brilliant. Thank you.
thank you, I agree freedom is responsibility
Thank you for this information.
Compassion towards blame and shame is essential, since it's painful to live with. Telling someone they're "bad" or that something is "wrong" with them for the brain's natural adaptation to trauma isn't a very helpful view--in a way, this also feels shaming.
It's a way for the brain to protect itself from re-experiencing things the way they went before: "If I blame myself, then I'll feel safe because I won't have to hurt another person again (because someone put the blame on me and I feel responsible). If I blame others, I can defend myself from the pain of being at fault, especially if it's unjust."
It's so important to make the distinction between content and consciousness! Although, I do believe that there is a true Self and it's consciousnesses. Being conscious and self-aware is the way to take responsibility.
if there isn't a true self
why am I fighting so hard to express authenticity
It’s hard to change the way your nervous system experiences the world when the first time you learned it was abusive
Thank you!
Love it 🙏
Controlling actions is one of the hardest things to do.
And this was my AHA moment!
good!
I know I am just a result of my socialisation but other ppl don't know this. They think I'm a failure and I have no excuse.
I am and adult who have autism and PTSD and I have always found it almost impossible to change my brain in this way
Mind blowing
We can’t know for sure about the lack of choice. It’s possible we did choose this content or this experience. Shame does seem to rely on the volition in order to bite. However volition and shame seem not to coexist. It is only with awareness that the communication received through the mind can be ignored.
I like this
Where does the potential to retire the brain e.g. via neurofeedback fit in to this?
BOOM 💥
Ummm, 'Who's the real me? This one orv the drug addict / drug baron? The with one with tattoos or the one without tattoos'.
Wow.
A little bit shaming (and short-sighted) to link the dangerous violent image of those in a drug gang with tattoos. .. Wouldn't want to go to a therapist who judges me in such a way just because I have tattoos.
However' 'versions of patterns of electrical activity...' ' content is created for you, not by you '...
That really hit and is useful... and not blaming myself for the potential to be harmful...
Great insight and so useful. However, the tattoo judgment is unfortunate stereotype. Naturally, not all people with tattoos are drug barons.
v interesting 🤗
😂 you would be Pablo Escobar 😂🎉