Your experience in Vegas is pretty much as I expected as a local myself. It's a good place for those into the party scene but not so good for those of us who want to date seriously because of the influx of tourism. Like the place gets so many tourists that it's hard to find people to connect with and try to date and while Vegas may seem big, the pickings are quite slim for gays since we make up a small percentage of the population (in general but especially here) as you already took notice too when you used Grindr and noticed how you only see like 20 guys and then the others are WAY farther away as it's picking up guys in Summerlin, Reno, and Pahrump. And then you have the Bi-curious guys that don't help much neither. Not that there's anything wrong with bicuriousity but if you're an open gay guy trying to date, it can be a bit of an annoyance lol.
This sounds exactly like my first impression! Haha. Thank you for your input as a local! Always really curious to hear how it is for gays in these places I go to :)
I'm sure you being a black fem only makes it all the more difficult. I hate to say it, but you've got a long hard road ahead of you in terms of finding love in ANY city. Look at it this way, if straight black WOMEN (who have a vastly deeper dating pool than you have as a gay man) are struggling to find a good man, then there's virtually no hope for you! Question: Do you date other fems or are you one of those fems who are looking for a masc man to have a relationship that mirrors the dynamics of male/female heterosexual relationships? If the latter is what you're looking for, you will likely be alone until the day you die.
I simply have to comment on this video. I’m an older predominantly gay male living in Las Vegas I am a transplant from Northern California. You may have proven to me something that I have often thought…..many of my strictly gay friends hang out for too much in a strictly gay environment, clubs bars gyms etc. where only gay men congregate. On the other hand the majority of my very close and intimate male friends do not identify as gay, nor bi, they are simply kind loving men with very open minds that enjoy male physical intimacy and by that I don’t necessarily mean sex but massage cuddling long hugs things that very close male friends do. I believe that it is a completely different level of male intimacy than those who socialize in a more strictly gay environment are even aware of. I became aware of this at a younger age because I was a disc jockey for most of my life and when I played as a guest in gay bars I found it to be so completely focused on simply picking up and hooking up that there was never the deeper conversations that can lead to creating a strong male bond. There are still many close minded gay men that believe that - if another man states that he is bisexual and more into women - then he is simply hiding in the closet. That kind of thinking is draconian and could not be more incorrect. I have several very close male friends that either have a good relationship with their wife or a girlfriend or date women and enjoy male intimacy and even sex when we are together. There are indeed a growing number of young people who identify as bisexual and they are not dividing themselves by hanging out in strictly straight environments or strictly gay environments they enjoy both and everything in between. I think what happened to you is that you indeed encountered two men who are very open minded, but usually those men will back away very rapidly when the man that they are finding interesting wants to turn it into a “gay” experience right away, as they tend to want to get to know each other and let the attraction grow organically. I have experienced that kind of relationship throughout my entire life. It is quite possible that had you not confronted these two men so rapidly, and had you been staying longer in Las Vegas, you may have grown a new kind of friendship that quite often indeed leads to physical intimacy. It is simply my guess as to what happened to you. Close male friendships that a lot of people call bromances usually don’t develop in a bar or nightclub on the first night, they usually build when the two men can spend time together without others around and they actually get to go into each others minds to share common frames of reference. Bromances are often actually what sex therapist would call sapiosexual but often do not always lead to sex between the two men but when the two men have a strong friendship bond then they don’t think very much about if sex actually happens, and they definitely would not classify it as a “gay relationship” even though a bar full of old queens would simply label them as closet cases. A far more intellectual bond between these kind of men can be experienced that has a wonderful and deeply intimate level of closeness.
Interesting perspective! Yes maybe indeed that's the case. However I also find it manipulative to make some flirty moves with a gay guy and then back right out of it when the gay person makes a move back. I think I'm just at an age where I expect maturity and directness from someone. I don't like playing games or "the chase" so to speak.
@@KevenTalks In an ideal society where there is not so much judgment and value placed on a persons sexuality I would feel exactly the same however sometimes the game is simply because a person doesn't know how to navigate the public emotional battle ground that comes with being more sexually open. Men that are more curious and not driven by constant same-sex attraction tend to be more selective and indeed might appear as though they are manipulative but in reality once you become close with one of these people you will realize that they are simply protecting themselves and the other person from jumping into something very quickly. If it is simply for sex then that's a completely different story and then the social environment at hand will definitely play a bigger part.
Thank you Keven for your video and your experience. Your experience with the two guys sounds familiar. I think your gut feeling is right and they have not accepted themselves.
But I wasn't the one being ambiguous, they were...or you're saying my friendliness makes them more friendly and therefore the vibe becomes ambiguous? By the way, nice use of the word "milieu" lol don't get to hear that often.
Hi Kev! Thanks for the video. Firstly, that all sounds like hard work (who needs that shit!) Secondly, you’re an intelligent and handsome man. You deserve better! We all do :)
Lol absolutely hard work. I think in the moment a part of you likes the "challenge," or to be wanted by someone you don't expect to want you (?). But you're right. When you sober up you realize what you just said...
KevenTalks it’s all part of the gay journey really! I guess in Vegas anything goes until it comes to the crunch and these more fluid guys will then opt out. It doesn’t help when you’re in an alcohol fuelled environment where people tend to behave a little looser anyway. My motto these days is to expect nothing so if something happens I’m pleasantly surprised 😃
Have you ever thought about doing a podcast? I think that format would fit you. There’s a lot of those around but you have a very unique take on a lot of topics and an affinity for storytelling that would make it stand out imo. Plus the traveling ofc. I always like it when your videos are a bit longer :)
Aww "an affinity for storytelling" thanks so much! Funny that you like when they're longer - I'm always trying to cut them down to be shorter because I assume no one will sit through 15 minutes of me talking!! I love radio so I could totally see myself getting into the podcast world but as you said there's already so many out there; I think it's best to stick to one thing and right now for me that's TH-cam, between this and my music channel :)
If a guy approached me and started telling me how handsome he thought I was, my first thought would be “gay”. So I don’t think you were off-base for thinking that the dude was interested.
i can totaly relate too this i had a guy always touching me at work and one day he meaaged my back so i ask him if he was gay . and he said no ,but my question is why would you message my back ..go figure
I live here, have been here for 20 years, so many tourists makes long term dating super hard + I do not plan to stay in Vegas much longer so you meet men who love it here and can't imagine leaving....which is a problem. I don't know if it's easier anywhere else though, I don't remember having a lot of problems meeting guys back in Oregon but I barely remember that anyways ;) I am 47, not even sure what Grinder (Grindr?) and Tinder are, not sure if old men like me would fit in there, Ugh, maybe just stay single. Thanks for the video though, just found this channel and it's interesting. :)
I do believe they call that gay dar honey. I find that you can spot lots of so call straight/ gay curiosity in predominant straight gathering/events if your interested!
LOL absolutely not. Certain things need to stay sacred ;) Also this apartment in this video is not my style - I'm living in airbnbs while traveling of course!
I hope you saw The Beatles Cirque du Soleil show. I saw it and it blew my mind!!! I did not need any "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds". The music, the production was enough for me. Also, did you meet any Helix models? LOL, since they are based out there. I always have a good time when I go to Vegas. You don't need to just gamble and/or club. There is plenty to do and to see. All the best!
@@rberto718 I lost about $100 the first day, then won about $100 the next day, then foolishly thought I could keep it up and make a profit, and went ahead and lost another $100 🤦🏻♂️
@@KevenTalks LOL that is everyone's mode of operations. My last trip to Vegas, I took a certain amount to gamble with, a creating amount to party with, and an amount to shop with. I did ok. If I won big, which happened on two instances, I did not put it back in the casino. That money was separated and chucked into the hotel safe.
@@KevenTalks it’s so prevalent in the “community” - good for you. Grindr closed many gay venues down and gay culture has changed and shrunk a lot. Only 100k+ cities have a gay community worth mentioning here. I feel like PREP and drugs are the norm, super unsafe chem sex and downright mean, degrading behaviour both socially and sexually among gay men are everywhere and it’s all _yasss queen slayyy beetch_ 🙄 I tried finding more likeminded people but gay friendships are no longer a thing it seems, so I save my time for my mostly straight circle of friends. It’s weird and not enough.
Why don’t you do a 4K walk through of the gay neighborhoods in each city you visit? Those type of vids get lots of interest. And because they tend to be longer you can put a few ads in along the way like this th-cam.com/video/uppuxvbW-w8/w-d-xo.html
Kevin, I am of the old gay school. I loved the days when gay guys were gay and straight guys were straight and never the twain would meet. Today everything is so grey when it comes to orientation. I think your main issue here was that this was a straight party, and regrettably you were victimized by the setting. I wouldn't be surprised if both of these guys were on the DL. Had you met them on an app or gay dating site, your experience may very well have been different. And, Kevin, straight men never tell another guy how good looking they are. That approach is not subtle.
@@KevenTalks I found when I am in the straight environment a lot of men find out one is Gay and they play this head game of flirting then act like I was wrong on my assumptions
Hi Keviin , rerally enjoyed your storey. I think you are tottaly right,who needs this crap.i would feel the same way as you.You are very attractive and intellegent and it sure makes me feel bad that you had to go through this. Sincerely Gerry
Great video! But always listen to that uneasiness you felt with the 2 straight guys, no matter how attracted you feel, thats the red flag that may save your life someday, not all guys are tolerant of us.
Your experience in Vegas is pretty much as I expected as a local myself. It's a good place for those into the party scene but not so good for those of us who want to date seriously because of the influx of tourism. Like the place gets so many tourists that it's hard to find people to connect with and try to date and while Vegas may seem big, the pickings are quite slim for gays since we make up a small percentage of the population (in general but especially here) as you already took notice too when you used Grindr and noticed how you only see like 20 guys and then the others are WAY farther away as it's picking up guys in Summerlin, Reno, and Pahrump. And then you have the Bi-curious guys that don't help much neither. Not that there's anything wrong with bicuriousity but if you're an open gay guy trying to date, it can be a bit of an annoyance lol.
This sounds exactly like my first impression! Haha. Thank you for your input as a local! Always really curious to hear how it is for gays in these places I go to :)
@@KevenTalks Haha no problem, it's pretty depressing i won't lie but what can you do? lol
@@KaiDecadence MOVE! Lol. That's always my answer. I move like people change underwear these days ;)
@@KevenTalks Haha maybe one day I will, I just don't have the funds to do that yet lol
I'm sure you being a black fem only makes it all the more difficult. I hate to say it, but you've got a long hard road ahead of you in terms of finding love in ANY city.
Look at it this way, if straight black WOMEN (who have a vastly deeper dating pool than you have as a gay man) are struggling to find a good man, then there's virtually no hope for you!
Question: Do you date other fems or are you one of those fems who are looking for a masc man to have a relationship that mirrors the dynamics of male/female heterosexual relationships? If the latter is what you're looking for, you will likely be alone until the day you die.
I simply have to comment on this video. I’m an older predominantly gay male living in Las Vegas I am a transplant from Northern California. You may have proven to me something that I have often thought…..many of my strictly gay friends hang out for too much in a strictly gay environment, clubs bars gyms etc. where only gay men congregate. On the other hand the majority of my very close and intimate male friends do not identify as gay, nor bi, they are simply kind loving men with very open minds that enjoy male physical intimacy and by that I don’t necessarily mean sex but massage cuddling long hugs things that very close male friends do. I believe that it is a completely different level of male intimacy than those who socialize in a more strictly gay environment are even aware of. I became aware of this at a younger age because I was a disc jockey for most of my life and when I played as a guest in gay bars I found it to be so completely focused on simply picking up and hooking up that there was never the deeper conversations that can lead to creating a strong male bond. There are still many close minded gay men that believe that - if another man states that he is bisexual and more into women - then he is simply hiding in the closet. That kind of thinking is draconian and could not be more incorrect. I have several very close male friends that either have a good relationship with their wife or a girlfriend or date women and enjoy male intimacy and even sex when we are together. There are indeed a growing number of young people who identify as bisexual and they are not dividing themselves by hanging out in strictly straight environments or strictly gay environments they enjoy both and everything in between. I think what happened to you is that you indeed encountered two men who are very open minded, but usually those men will back away very rapidly when the man that they are finding interesting wants to turn it into a “gay” experience right away, as they tend to want to get to know each other and let the attraction grow organically. I have experienced that kind of relationship throughout my entire life. It is quite possible that had you not confronted these two men so rapidly, and had you been staying longer in Las Vegas, you may have grown a new kind of friendship that quite often indeed leads to physical intimacy. It is simply my guess as to what happened to you. Close male friendships that a lot of people call bromances usually don’t develop in a bar or nightclub on the first night, they usually build when the two men can spend time together without others around and they actually get to go into each others minds to share common frames of reference. Bromances are often actually what sex therapist would call sapiosexual but often do not always lead to sex between the two men but when the two men have a strong friendship bond then they don’t think very much about if sex actually happens, and they definitely would not classify it as a “gay relationship” even though a bar full of old queens would simply label them as closet cases. A far more intellectual bond between these kind of men can be experienced that has a wonderful and deeply intimate level of closeness.
Interesting perspective! Yes maybe indeed that's the case. However I also find it manipulative to make some flirty moves with a gay guy and then back right out of it when the gay person makes a move back. I think I'm just at an age where I expect maturity and directness from someone. I don't like playing games or "the chase" so to speak.
@@KevenTalks In an ideal society where there is not so much judgment and value placed on a persons sexuality I would feel exactly the same however sometimes the game is simply because a person doesn't know how to navigate the public emotional battle ground that comes with being more sexually open. Men that are more curious and not driven by constant same-sex attraction tend to be more selective and indeed might appear as though they are manipulative but in reality once you become close with one of these people you will realize that they are simply protecting themselves and the other person from jumping into something very quickly. If it is simply for sex then that's a completely different story and then the social environment at hand will definitely play a bigger part.
Thank you Keven for your video and your experience. Your experience with the two guys sounds familiar. I think your gut feeling is right and they have not accepted themselves.
I agree.
You are very communicative and draw people out so it’s understandable that you create a milieu of ambiguity from time to time .
But I wasn't the one being ambiguous, they were...or you're saying my friendliness makes them more friendly and therefore the vibe becomes ambiguous? By the way, nice use of the word "milieu" lol don't get to hear that often.
KevenTalks Your honesty can be disarming to men who have failed to confront their own ambiguity. Not your fault but it’s not surprising.
@@davidwoodford7304 Interesting perspective..
Hi Kev! Thanks for the video. Firstly, that all sounds like hard work (who needs that shit!) Secondly, you’re an intelligent and handsome man. You deserve better! We all do :)
Lol absolutely hard work. I think in the moment a part of you likes the "challenge," or to be wanted by someone you don't expect to want you (?). But you're right. When you sober up you realize what you just said...
KevenTalks it’s all part of the gay journey really! I guess in Vegas anything goes until it comes to the crunch and these more fluid guys will then opt out. It doesn’t help when you’re in an alcohol fuelled environment where people tend to behave a little looser anyway. My motto these days is to expect nothing so if something happens I’m pleasantly surprised 😃
@@nelsondesousa9304 Yes, that's what friends always tell me - "no expectations" - but I find that so unbelievably hard for me to employ 😬
Have you ever thought about doing a podcast? I think that format would fit you. There’s a lot of those around but you have a very unique take on a lot of topics and an affinity for storytelling that would make it stand out imo. Plus the traveling ofc. I always like it when your videos are a bit longer :)
Aww "an affinity for storytelling" thanks so much! Funny that you like when they're longer - I'm always trying to cut them down to be shorter because I assume no one will sit through 15 minutes of me talking!! I love radio so I could totally see myself getting into the podcast world but as you said there's already so many out there; I think it's best to stick to one thing and right now for me that's TH-cam, between this and my music channel :)
If a guy approached me and started telling me how handsome he thought I was, my first thought would be “gay”. So I don’t think you were off-base for thinking that the dude was interested.
Lol THANK YOU. Agreed. I don't know if he was on the DL or what.
i can totaly relate too this i had a guy always touching me at work and one day he meaaged my back so i ask him if he was gay . and he said no ,but my question is why would you message my back ..go figure
I live here, have been here for 20 years, so many tourists makes long term dating super hard + I do not plan to stay in Vegas much longer so you meet men who love it here and can't imagine leaving....which is a problem. I don't know if it's easier anywhere else though, I don't remember having a lot of problems meeting guys back in Oregon but I barely remember that anyways ;) I am 47, not even sure what Grinder (Grindr?) and Tinder are, not sure if old men like me would fit in there, Ugh, maybe just stay single. Thanks for the video though, just found this channel and it's interesting. :)
Good luck out there in Vegas :)
jeez I wish i could give you a hug
lol 😫
I do believe they call that gay dar honey. I find that you can spot lots of so call straight/ gay curiosity in predominant straight gathering/events if your interested!
Could we get a tour of your apartment lol? I'm curious what your personal style is?
LOL absolutely not. Certain things need to stay sacred ;)
Also this apartment in this video is not my style - I'm living in airbnbs while traveling of course!
Hi
I hope you saw The Beatles Cirque du Soleil show. I saw it and it blew my mind!!! I did not need any "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds". The music, the production was enough for me. Also, did you meet any Helix models? LOL, since they are based out there. I always have a good time when I go to Vegas. You don't need to just gamble and/or club. There is plenty to do and to see. All the best!
lol I saw none of the above! I did the old school Vegas stuff - drinking n' gambling ;)
@@KevenTalks and how did you make out with the gambling? break even? come home in the black? or did you lose your shirt? :-)
@@rberto718 I lost about $100 the first day, then won about $100 the next day, then foolishly thought I could keep it up and make a profit, and went ahead and lost another $100 🤦🏻♂️
@@KevenTalks LOL that is everyone's mode of operations. My last trip to Vegas, I took a certain amount to gamble with, a creating amount to party with, and an amount to shop with. I did ok. If I won big, which happened on two instances, I did not put it back in the casino. That money was separated and chucked into the hotel safe.
@@rberto718 SMART!!!
What's your personal feelings on drug and alcohol use? Do you partake? You strike me as a person that would stay away from drugs and drink socially.
I'm not into drugs but I do like to drink socially, absolutely. So yes there was quite a bit of drinking in Vegas, lol.
@@KevenTalks it’s so prevalent in the “community” - good for you. Grindr closed many gay venues down and gay culture has changed and shrunk a lot. Only 100k+ cities have a gay community worth mentioning here. I feel like PREP and drugs are the norm, super unsafe chem sex and downright mean, degrading behaviour both socially and sexually among gay men are everywhere and it’s all _yasss queen slayyy beetch_ 🙄
I tried finding more likeminded people but gay friendships are no longer a thing it seems, so I save my time for my mostly straight circle of friends. It’s weird and not enough.
@@MFTH-cam683 I hear you. I talk about a lot of these themes on my channel!
@@KevenTalksI only just found you - catching up, thanks for your courage and initiative. Your insights are a wonderful contribution.
@@MFTH-cam683 So sweet! Thank you 🙏
Why don’t you do a 4K walk through of the gay neighborhoods in each city you visit? Those type of vids get lots of interest. And because they tend to be longer you can put a few ads in along the way like this th-cam.com/video/uppuxvbW-w8/w-d-xo.html
Oh interesting! I didn't know this was a thing
💛👬💛
💜
Kevin, I am of the old gay school. I loved the days when gay guys were gay and straight guys were straight and never the twain would meet. Today everything is so grey when it comes to orientation. I think your main issue here was that this was a straight party, and regrettably you were victimized by the setting. I wouldn't be surprised if both of these guys were on the DL. Had you met them on an app or gay dating site, your experience may very well have been different. And, Kevin, straight men never tell another guy how good looking they are. That approach is not subtle.
Now, a year after the fact, I agree 100% with this analysis.
Most straight guys play the head game!
"head game" ??
@@KevenTalks I found when I am in the straight environment a lot of men find out one is Gay and they play this head game of flirting then act like I was wrong on my assumptions
@@robiyelton4964 oh wow, interesting. I have to be more mindful of this I suppose then...
@@KevenTalks Just guard your heart
@dev0n james factual my friend
Hi Keviin , rerally enjoyed your storey. I think you are tottaly right,who needs this crap.i would feel the same way as you.You are very attractive and intellegent and it sure makes me feel bad that you had to go through this. Sincerely Gerry
Thank you for watching 😘
Great video! But always listen to that uneasiness you felt with the 2 straight guys, no matter how attracted you feel, thats the red flag that may save your life someday, not all guys are tolerant of us.
Yes over the last few years, learning to trust my instincts has been key.
@@KevenTalks Be safe out there
For me….. *yawn*