Ideal narssictic wife is 1. Of low self esteem 2.naieve 3.desperate 4.beautiful 5.decent 6.fragile 7.Sweet and feminine 8. Mellow If u are that woman, u would be inclined to be with mr.wrong so u make him feel mr.right while he is mr.idiot. Faking respect and noding yes to his hallucination of vanity and self worth is sickening
Nerdygirl me too on my disgusting evil ex. My ex even went as far as to professionally rename himself ‘the almost evil hypnotist’ after I left him but extremely emotionally injured. They know what they are doing. You can see my ex if you look up Dale K comedy hypnotist... the evil he put into his promo.. that was a personal message to me to let me know he knew he was wrong but he will always get away with it and laugh all the way. Evil. That’s what they are... to their core.
Clearly we need a new term here. I propose the definition for Mysogynarcissist - a person who hates women and has an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others, especially women.
I have found this to be true. The (age 40ish) narcissist I knew has a mgtow channel where he rants about "disordered" women being users and emasculators, his take on "female nature" and so much more... all from the comfort of a room in his mother's house where he lives. Lol.
@Northern Wind it's not truthful information. It's foolish to throw a whole gender into a box and label them as all the same and when I see the men or anyone doing that for that matter (men or women) about anything I instantly lose respect for them and think they are either stupid or have a distorted cluster b personality. It says alot about a man willing to be a part of a movement that bashes all women viciously and supports/encourages men to be mentally, emotionally even physically (yes I've seen that too) abusive to them and to neglect and hurt their own families just as my husband has. No normal healthy person with any kind of basic morals and discernment is going to look at this and think it's okay especially if you know anything about me as a person when I am nothing like the women they speak of my husband uses it to play victim and smear my name just because I'm a healthy person with healthy boundaries and I saw through his controlling and manipulative behaviour. That movement is full of all kinds of different men and some I actually sympathize with because I can see and understand they have sincerely been hurt and mistreated by a woman and have just in their heart break and anger joined this to cope but they are going the wrong way. The answer to a problem is not to have hatred and destroy. This group, a majority is full of narcissistic sociopaths which is evident for everyone to see and anyone who turns a blind eye to that and justifies it, they themselves are just as bad and have problems of their own.
@@Xclub40X you don't have to have a label to be single and choose to stay single. Mgtow is more than just that. They are a toxic cult. If you want to give yourself a bad reputation than stay there, most men who are in it though already have a bad character to begin with, that's why they are in something so toxic, damaging and hateful. Good men with good character just don't associate with groups like that which hate and demonise a whole gender.
@@kayceelee60 the real issue for you is that MGTOW is the way to go, and the more men that do so, means the less men that are available for you or any other woman for that matter. . . Ty in turns means less narcissistic supply, less controlling and dominating behaviour and the less that you can rely on someone else. . . I'm not just an alpha Male, I'm the APEX of all alphas. . The greatest of all, and I absolutely love hanging out at the coolest areas, with the freshest look, drinking and eating the best, and travelling in ultimate style and class. Best of all, I KNOW I CAN have any woman I want, but choose not to bother with any, instead preferring to show what I have, while at the same time showing that NOBODY will ever have a chance to be in my life. . . To see how mad and frustrated a lot of you get over this is priceless. No doubt in my mind, if I was just a broke penniless regular guy, not a single shared of fucks would be given. But because of my prominence, prowess and who I am as a man; it's a big big deal . . . Until women in general, start to make rational logical choices, instead of choosing to settle for less; then women should not be complaining that I'm turning them down and encouraging every other man to follow my advice and my lead. I expect this comment to be disliked and I also expect to have all sorts of bitter angry replies from many of you; and I cant wait to get stuck in. After all, women for the most part (based upon the observations I have actually made in my personal life with the ones I have encountered) have all played the victim card, and will always complain about their results being based upon others and whining about patriarchy being to blame, when in fact the blame lies a lot closer to oneself. . . Like I said, I'm too of the pack, ahead of the game, and am massively independent and advanced, a true alpha. . . . And this is the reason why a man of my stature is single. . . .OTHER MEN PAY ATTENTION TO THIS. . . if you are an alpha, you are uncontrollable and thus, as such, you are undateable. . . Women prefer easier, softer more manipulatable targets with lesser looks, as so they know those men will be desperate enough to stick around and gullible enough to pay financially and emotionally for those relationships. . Yet women still complain about those weaker guys and how they cannot get an alpha Male. . . . Morale of the story. . . If you have nothing to being to a relationship, then you cannot expect to gain from one. Happy single over 9 years, and will be for the rest of my life. . . .monk mode and loving life and the luxury
I have always known this to be true! Most narcissists pray that you never find out all of their secret reasons behind why they do what they do! All these men who bash women are nothing but narcissists who angry that no one is giving the attention they think they deserve.... same for women who like to bash men they are narcissists too! narcissism is very prevalent in today's society and social media has really made it worse.
I make rap music for narcissistic people like me. I think I might help some of these people. Why am I happy to be a narcissist? Because it's the way I am
Women basing men are most likely not narcissists, they just unfortunately had to deal with one. Most women after a certain age, don't give a shit about men period. After 20 years of their bs we tap out. And are entitled to talk all the shit we want. We paid our dues and are not looking for another man.
Demetrius Golden 44 its a lot better being alone peaceful u actually get to know yourself to love and appreciate yourself and work on your own inner demons I agree I’m 40 and burned out
Do yourself a favour sister, take the best care you can afford of your heart, body, mind and spirit. Stay away from things and these kind of people that cannot get fixed, please.
Pathological narcissism is a reaction to prolonged abuse and trauma in early childhood or early adolescence. The source of the abuse or trauma is immaterial - the perpetrators could be parents, teachers, other adults, or peers. Pampering, smothering, spoiling, and "engulfing" the child are also forms of abuse.
Sam Vaknin: My father lived an ideal life, was raised with every privilege, and spoiled. He never suffered any deprivation until his father died when he was 17. He was angry that his mother told him to get a job at the age of 18 and that he couldn't party all night and sleep all day. I was shocked to find out, six months ago, that my 84-year old father is still angry at his mother for making him get a job. Unbelievable.
Momma's boys. Still suckling and nibbling on mommie's breast for life. Narcissists fail in all relationships, because they are constantly comparing their wifes or girlfriend to their mother. When disappointed or rejected, they go home to suck on mommie's tit.
I absolutely hate and loathe narcissists, men especially. I know too many women, my mother included when she was young, that were emotionally or physically abused by scumbag insecure narcissist men. These men are not like that in the beginning, but once the I-do's are said in many cases (I know this is a generalization) these men become violent and controlling. I can never understand the sick desire of total control over another human being. In my dating life if the man starts to show the 'red flags' my ass is gone. I am not gonna go to jail for killing these creeps so its best for me to get the hell away from them and not look back. I don't care how handsome or successful the guy is. There are some men out there that are not like that and those are the jewels worthy of my attention.
+Amanda P. You're so right. My friend who used to be a such a nice sweet girl got totally destroyed by her husband. He turned her into a vicious hate filled anger filled woman and she aged so fast we were all shocked. He destroyed every ounce of her dignity and she was more like a dog on a leash instead of a human being and a married partner. There was no time during the day he didnt want to know what she was doing, where she was going, who she was meeting, what she was looking at...ever things as simple as running to the grocery store to pick up lemons, even then he would tell her to remain on the phone and talk to him and pick up the lemons at the same time. 100% total control. It was only when she visited us for a vacation that we tried to have her see how viciously controlling and manipulating her husband was. She was supposed to come alone but 2 days later he also came, uninvited into our home. Anyway, long story short, she did get a divorce after a bitter custody battle of 2 kids and after atleast 2 years he stopped calling and harassing. She didnt win the custody though because he had never let her work after the marriage so she had no income source. Anyway, you're so right in your assessment. Stay sharp and stay safe. Dont get married in a haste like my friend did. Take care. :)
***** You are obviously a moron, I never said women can't be evil. We all can be evil. Men however tend to be more controlling and violent in general. Maybe you should read my whole comment again. How many women do you see 'intimidating' men with their physical strength or threatening them with violence? Or a woman trying to control what her man wears and where he can go and who his friends can be. Maybe in rare cases. But at least hopefully you don't really have a double digit IQ or have been hiding under a rock. Women have to be more careful about who they bring into their lives than men do. If you don't get this then you are a true ignorant idiot. Btw we have to worry more about where we walk to and who is around at every second as we can get raped/murdered/thrown in a ditch somewhere to rot. Common fucking sense.
Bananarista 1.0 Regarding marriage, you have to consider that up until the past few decades it was.... well, not even what we call marriage today, really. Cohabitation only became widespread and socially acceptable in the 1970s here in the UK, which is crazy to think about as I was born only a decade on from then. Not so long ago, when someone said "until death do us part" , they meant it. Or they better had, because it wasn't something you'd easily get out of! For women, it meant a loss of many rights (though to be fair the vast majority of women weren't ever going to be wealthy enough to enjoy such rights as property ownership for it to matter all that much), while for men there was a legal obligation to support your new wife and future children. It was a crime not to, and again, the vast majority of men were fairly poor, with few prospects, often out of work and desperately trying to find more. No welfare state to rely on back in the day either should you became ill. All that aside, the important thing about it we've lost is the genuine commitment it showed, to one another and in front of others, back when we lived in far more tight-knit communities where everyone knew everyone else. I wouldn't turn back time or anything, I know many people will have had terrible marriages, I just find it incredibly sad how disposable we've all become to one another in this comsumer age. Where previoisly people would've actually made an effort and honoured their commitment - even if just to a relationship rather than a marriage - we now jump from one relationship to the next, as if we were upgrading to the latest iPhone. Commitment and responsibility to one another in general are becoming increasingly eroded, and ultimately that's what gives security and stability to our lives and society at large. Being less restricted in so many ways isn't a bad thing at all, obviously, but everything in life is a trade off - we've made gains, but not without a few losses. And who honestly doesn't hate how narcissistic we've become, culturally? Even as individuals, really.
My dad hates women tends to take it out on me. Told me his parents never gave him lunch money so all the girls in his class couped together to help him out. Instead of appreciating them he resented them for it, states this is the reason why he has so much hate basically. Blames his parents. But honestly at almost 50 you'd think a grown man would be able to mature a bit and not blame women for his problems or take it out on his daughter. He's so insecure so he expects girls to cater to him but weaves it as if he's an "alpha male" for getting women to do what he wants
Some narcs are mothered by a controlling mother who seems to have projected onto her children what she felt they should feel, what she wanted them to feel, or what she demanded they feel. They never got to feel what they felt--it wasn't acceptable.
My mom was like this she influenced me alot. My dad was always working to pay a 100,000 dollar house which he bought in 2001. I was born in 1996 and I am 24. I have trouble with women and im self centered
and some women get abused by their fathers and their men in their lives and don't become raging misandrists. stop taking away men's capacity for accountability and blaming it all on 'the mother'
@veronica There should be a word for a female sycophant who's always ready to defend her male abusers - be it father, brother, boyfriend, etc. Of course there are bad moms too, but don't take away from the typical violent narcissism & abuse that billions of fathers around the world inflict on their poor families.
Yes, he acused me of being a parasite for not working and taking care of our disabled child. After 6 years of marriage he discarded me, but I noticed he wanted to get rid of us when our boy was 2 years old, just after he was diagnosed. Now I can see all Prof. Vaknin describes is so true. It’s like if he would be describing my ex husband. How can all narcissists behave in such similar way!
My husaband wanted lots of sex but always treat me as a thing, a means to acting out his fantasies. He continually left me frustrated until i simply couldn't bear sex at all. When out in the car he would say thinga like " whoa, look at the arse (or tits) on that!" He wanted me to be a prostitute and wanted to see other men have sex with me (he wanted but didn't get). He was utterley obnoixious. Controlling, manipulating bastard. I couldn't get away from him, he had me thinking that my anger was because i was "unstable". I thought myself a pathetic nothing outside of him. When he died of cancer i was released.
@@elXXXXrockymaru Narcissists DONT show you who they are for YEARS in most cases. That's how people 'end up' with them. Don't blame us for men being massive pieces of shit.
@@XxxX-wx3er I was able to get free finally. Physically, if not psychologically. I’m sorry to hear of your pain and damaged soul/heart. I hope you heal, friend. Sending you ❤️ and ✌️
sadly, I am not surprised at the hatred & blame of women in these comments. this is so prevalent in our culture & world, whether you are a narcissist male or not.
@@kristenb180 That's because men strive to be whatever makes women moist, so its your own fault. Women don't respect men who put their woman before themselves.
This is by far one of the most significant videos I have found. I’ve been trying to find a definitive correlation between narcissists and all the misogynists hiding behind “The Red Pill” and this explains it perfectly. Thank you Sam.
You are amazing seriously . I am finding your videos about masogyny so helpful to understand how my boyfriend is treating me and so I'm leaving him tonight
About a quarter of all diagnosed narcissists are women. Since women tend to attend therapy more than men, it is safe to assume that their share is c. 10%. Watch the relevant video about women narcissists on my channel.
my former narcissists his mommy made him what he is, his dad was absent much of the time bc of his job, she had a fear of losing her little boy and raised him to distrust women, she poisoned his mind with many year's of every woman he ever had just wanted him for his money so he used women up for sex and dumped them before he had to give them anything especially his money..
My ex-husband was narcissiatic and he definitely hated me. No sex for months and months, it was a nightmare. Only he did not leave, I did and he hated me even more. Thanks so much for this video, I knew something was wrong with him, I just did not know what, Thank you so much for this video, its like you knew him personally.
I know of a terrible male narcissist. On the outside and to most he seems charming and wonderful. He was abandoned by his own mother at the age of 12. His father had to raise him. How would abandonment by his mother affect his feelings towards women in relationships. He never resolved this and refuses (what a big surprise) to get any help.
I find it absurd for men and women to justify blaming a whole gender based on the dark side of humanity that both genders share. Get a clue, men and women, we're biologically different in order to procreate but our humanity is the same, both positive and negative sides. Negativity is NEVER justifiable.
I learned very early that he wanted me to ask for sex just so he could turn me down.After the first gaslight, I never asked again. When I was getting ready to get rid of him he said, 'You nevery ask me for sex anymore. I know you want it.' Oh brother. I told him that he wants to turn me down so it was no longer fun.."He admitted it but said that it didn't mean he didn't want it. Ugh.
My narcissistic father discarded me early on in life because I am not a “typical” woman. I didn’t provide enough NS for him and he began grooming my younger brother who was more talkative and adoring. Interesting video to watch and I always appreciate that you share these insights.
Same. I was a strong willed woman even as a teen and my narcissistic evangelical misogynistic father despised me as a teen for not being submissive and evangelical and would threaten to kick me out at 17. Eventually I did move out and then my narc parents put the blame on me entirely and complain/ are angry that I never visit.
@@yourfavoritenetcitizen6525 YES, my life exactly! He's hyper-spiritual and says I'm "in the flesh" whereas he's a "perfect saint". He rejected me as soon as I started to find my voice. Thankfully I have a strong connection to Jesus and know that my dad is just talking extremist nonsense. I hope you're doing better now that you're away from them. ❤
Initiation is the primary role of the male. And submission to sex is the role of the female. Mother Nature has intended it this way since the dawn of time among every animal species on the planet. But all too often, men want the role of the female in the bedroom rather than the role of the dominating male. People need to stop trying to bend the rules of Mother Nature and accept how things work when it comes to sexual courting. Man pursues. Woman submits.
@@SteelCowGirl4Ever yes, it's 'natural' : that's why millions of women are fighting against it. and rape and other horrible things frequently occur in primitive spaces, it doesn't mean we should condone them as higher thinking humans.
Oh and countless times when he or others said abusive or horrid things to me ....I heard .."You deserve it!!" Thank you for these vids..Find them very helpful..
Amanda Rogers why wait?? I went through university on my own with three kids, it’s not worth it and the more she sees, the more she will think this is an acceptable way for men to behave.
That could explain why my gf is being cyber bullied must be a man who hates women and she didn't know he hated women,some gay men bully woman but not all of them
This is along the lines of what I've delt with. Only i witheld intimacy and kept on figuring out why and discussing over the years. Hasnt been but these last 3 years that we've had our most successful communication. Thanks again!
The truth of the matter is most of us have been hurt by somebody and to resort to hatred hurts the hater in one way and the hated in another. Why people can't understand that being full of hatred belittles the hater, make life a terrible experience beyond the hurt the person has experienced. Can't you see the lack of resolve in hating. We've all been hurt.
I don't know if you can answer this but... when I lived in Old NY, I saw a number of underage girls get broken down by older men. The girls would look defeated physically and mentally. I saw Puerto Rican and Jamaican men PURPOSELY treat these girls like they are old damaged goods and no one wants them. They seemed to get satisfaction from treating these abused girls like this... can someone please explain the origin of this mindset and culture.
All these people in the comment saying they hate narcissist men. You cannot fix hate with more hate. Narcissist people are sick, they aren't happy people, in fact they're miserable people. I married one and as much as I suffered during our relationship, I will never hate him. I wish him well and I hope one day he seeks the help he needs and finds true peace within himself.
Their status has changed over the last 50 years but the world they live in is still dominated by the 19th century narcissistic models of male-female interaction. Progressive legislation has only deepened the drift between genders. It is very much like a social class conflict. Loneliness, divorce, broken homes shows how little we have developed as a species. You may agree that most women however,are still more forgiving, less aggressive
When I told my mother 2 years ago she was a malignant narc and went no contact with her, one of the things i said to her about me feeling she was a malignant narc was the way she RAISED me to believe ALL women were COMPETITION and she maligned, gossiped, and DESTROYED women behind their backs who'd done NOTHING to her.....except in her OWN mind. One such assertion that really made me start to notice she wasn't "normal" was when I was a TEENAGER and she spent almost the entire 3 hour car ride HOME from an Aunt's house complaining about my very young 20 something aged BEAUTIFUL cousin "flirting" with my STEP DAD. I didn't notice that, I didn't think that was happening, but...SHE SURE DID. This complaining for 3 hours straight going back home from a family get together was NORMAL. I was used to it. But somewhere in my getting older and everyone tuning her out INCLUDING my step dad...she started to get tricky.... She'd rant but....you'd still hear the tone of voice CHANGE. I wasn't paying attention. We'd always just shut up and let her whine. But around the same age I noticed she was CONSTANTLY slamming women and imagining competition that was NOT there, I noticed she wasn't content to rant alone anymore...she wanted CONFIRMATION she was right. So intermittently in the ranting she'd end a paragraph of whining with "....or am I just NUTS?! I'm the ONLY one that NOTICED that?! Seriously?!" and if you didn't respond YOU WERE NEXT. So we all learned to toss out a bare minimum of "Yeah...I know." which to ME ONLY MEANT "Yeah...I KNOW you think that...." lol it was NOT me agreeing with her. In fact, it made me think she needed THERAPY. I spent my ENTIRE CHILDHOOD in therapy and the therapists KNEW before I did, I was there because my mother could NOT manipulate or BREAK ME. They recognized the DANGER in her and one therapist flat out said in a session "....I understand what is happening and WHY you're not telling me very much, sweetheart. You think your mommy gets to hear everything you say to me. She doesn't get to hear it all. She gets to hear MY impression of your state of MIND based on the things you tell me. But, I rarely would be telling her WHAT you are saying. I'm going to help you survive your mommy, okay?" I had NO idea what the HELL she meant until I was MARRIED and in my 30s. No idea. I was the family garbage can. EVERY single thing that happened in our home was MY fault. Therapists tried to explain the word "skapegoat" to my parents and tell them they really needed to stop it. There was NO way a MINOR child was responsible for the dysfunctional dynamic of a family of FIVE; in fact children are a PRODUCT of their environment, NOT the creators. Any time someone got down to brass tax like that with my mother and step father....that was the LAST time that therapist saw our family or ME. My mother is male dependent, so that didn't help. My step father LOVED my younger sister, so....my mother doted on HER. My step father didn't like that I didn't trust him and was wary of him....with good reason. I did NOT know HOW I knew it when I was 6, but I KNEW he was going to be the catalyst to destroy our family. All I could verbalized to my mother was he was going to "wreck" us, which she thought was ridiculous. I saw DANGER in him, and FELT it when he would be ANGRY that I was distrustful of him and his intentions and for making ME responsible for the decisions and actions he chose to make and do. "She made me angry...." right. Before they married, he'd joined the same church we were in, read scripture with us, etc...it continued for a little while AFTER they married until someone "offended" him in a Sunday School lesson about the Prodigal Son. I've heard their version of the story a bajillion times....but my thoughts were always the same...if you quit going to church because someone "offends you"...then you weren't going to church for a relationship with God, you were going for a relationship with PEOPLE. The people "let you down"...so you withdrew yourself from their "unworthy" presence of your fabulousness lol They still don't see it that way. But, not long after that event my mother was no longer allowed to pay tithes and other things he decided he didn't like anymore either. Our family dynamic was ALREADY dysfunctional, this....fractured every single thing beyond repair when he stopped going to church and my mother followed suit. To this day, my younger sister can do NO wrong lol she married an emotionally and mentally abusive malignant narc prick JUST like my mother did and she is WILDLY unhappy but, I am the only person who has confronted my brother in law's behavior to his FACE and asked his family HOW this happened to him and if he had a PAST of this behavior, because those nuggets of information were important to ME to understand how many times he'd done those things to other women and lost NOTHING but the woman for it. Unfortunately, it happened at least 2 times and NO ONE in our family knew about it. Two VERY LONG relationships with 2 different women, 2 years long for each relationship ENDED abruptly with NO explanation given to anyone but a close friend or two....no one in his family really knew what happened. But, if the shoe fits....I mean if even ONE woman put up with that for longer than 2 seconds and he kept her for 2 years, he wasn't going to STOP...he was going to UP HIS GAME. That's all. My mother is SO desperate for that marriage to NOT fail, she's advised my sister to "hang in there" meanwhile, he swears like a sailor AT her and in front of their children. TWO DAUGHTERS who are watching mommy ACCEPT this behavior from a man and STAY and GROW the family. I don't know HOW she is doing to unSCREW her daughter's brains when it comes time to date but...I just hope she can. My sister is attractive, skinny, and sarcastically funny. She is a woman hater as well, but...a Cancer, so toned down a bit. My mother is a female Sag and...they are notorious in my experience with being male dependent to emotionally dangerous levels. I'm not sure HOW someone ended up male dependent AND a woman hater but...she did. I don't wear makeup, I don't "do" my hair, I don't hate women, I don't trash them behind their backs as a matter of due course to my day, and I truly love and like so many of them...she thinks I'm a moron. She slams ME, my sister, my brother's wife, her own mother in law, her aunts, her brother's fiancees or wives, her sisters in law, her mother in law, MY MOTHER IN LAW, my sisters in law lol....if she doesn't find a "ball busting" strength coming out of the woman, and she isn't comely or plain....she'll rip a woman apart for being an attractive idiot. I think it takes more strength and courage to NOT act out like a child and ALLOW people in your life to NOT be perfect and and love them in their imperfections and where they are AT currently.
Love your concluding comments. Nobody makes it through this world perfect in word and deed all the time. Love, patience and empathy is needed with others in recognition of our own imperfections - especially children. Whilst you don't need to be a doormat, you don't have to criticise and crush others just to prove a point. You're a strong and perceptive woman - keep thriving and surviving.
I watched this video few times over the last months. Thanks again Sam for sharing your knowledge! I would really appreciate if you could extend this topic to a specific area in a new video: Men who rape their partner, the mother of their own child... What is the mindset behind such an horrific act?
Nightcore VirtuaCop2 interesting. Why do you think that happened for you? It just doesn't make sense to me that a narcissistic male could love their mother but then hate the women they date... I thought that men that loved their mothers were good to the women they dated? thank you for sharing.
Nightcore VirtuaCop2 well I think he misjudged the situation with me because I seem to piss him off moment by moment.. because I don't just sit there and passively accept what's going on, I fight back. That makes him angry. He's said many times to me "why can't you just fall in line, a woman is supposed to be submissive" etc. I have tried calming him when he is angry, doesn't seem to work. Yeah in some regards I wonder if he wants to be taken care of but at the same time he is more independent than anyone I have ever dated.. but in my opinion it's not a healthy independent.. it's to the point where basically he shouldn't be in a relationship because it seems like i am a "burden" to him and he'd rather not be bothered... but on the flip side of this, the past two weeks he spent every waking moment with me pretty much. It's very odd. Yeah it's like he acts as if his mom and him were so close, said they used to speak about everything, but now he barely talks to her. They barely say anything when they are around each other.. she just seems zoned out and it's hard for me to imagine she was much more connected than this at any point. Any way, I am not dumb but he definitely has treated me as if I am.. I think it's a projection because he feels threatened by me.. anytime I say something intelligent, which is often if I feel like talking, he tends to ignore it or change the subject. I feel like it goes over his head and he doesn't want to admit that so he just ignores it. I hope not a lot of men watch incest porn, the thought of that makes me feel sick to my stomach honestly. Why is it do you think that men who grow up in single parent households have that rage and anger? Too much stress and responsibility placed on their shoulders at a young age? I think my issue too is I have a shitty mom so it's hard for me to believe that he could adore his mom that much... and I think it also pisses me off cause he's told me some of her thought processes and they're fucked up and twisted, I think it makes me angry because clearly (no offense) she dropped the ball with him somewhere for him to be treating me (or anyone) so poorly so when he praises her as if she's so great it makes me angry because it's very obvious to me that his mother failed him in regards to emotional and mental health and support... yet here i am, the codependent, trying to wake him up and I'm treated like shit? Doesn't make sense. His mother doesn't do shit for him, she has nothing to offer him... and in fact she kind of fucked him up. Confusing to me. Maybe he is taking his deep seeded anger that he secretly has for his mother out on me 😂
Nightcore VirtuaCop2 I already tried. He has been very clear that he thinks there is nothing wrong with him and that I am the only problem here. He thinks he's perfectly normal and fine. I don't know for sure if he is a narcissist but he tends to flip from being pissed and rageful to being somewhat detached and uncaring. He's been very clear he doesn't care about my feelings. He basically gets pissed or tries to leave if I get upset or cry or anything involving emotion.. normal emotion that anyone would feel when being treated how he has treated me. And he blames me for everything... why he gets so angry, why he does what he does, he says I'm the one who makes him like that 😒 so I guess if we are all living by that rationale, it's the victims fault that they were murdered, it's the child's fault that they were abused. Mind blowing.
YES i noticed that in two Narcs already, my friend and a random old man. They bad-mouth women. Clearly they had mother issues when younger. Mother must have been demanding and bossy. As mine is, yet I try to cope and maneuver my way.
Watching your videos I perceive I dated not only one, but two narcissists. Both of them were virgins and didnt like to have intimacy, not only phisical but also dates and the like. One of them is still celibatary and doesnt want to date anyone else - for good. I was the first gf of both, even the first kiss - they were adults, one 24 and other 32. Both lived with mother and one of them didnt have neither an employment. One of them I thought was bipolar (loved and adored me one day, hated me the other day with no reason, our relation ended with no reason or discussion), but now I see he has so many similar characteristics with narcissistic personality. The other (with no employment) I thought was only depressive, but the sexual fantasies were so equal to the described ones in the video of narcissistic's sexual fantasies. He even had fantasies with animals and children (I know this is awful to admit, I argued with him saying this was not such a thing to say to a gf). Even the part of the doll is true, one of them said to me he would like to have a "love doll" at home to have sex with her. But they were virgins and didnt have any sex with me either. But their sexual fantasies were so frequent, they wanted to talk about them so much time. Both were very overprotected by their mothers and were very dependend on them. I attract men like this to my life, is there any way to avoid them before start having a relation?
I love your video's. this describes my former narcissists to a tee.. all he ever wanted was detached, emotionless, commitment free sex and if he didn't get it he would tell me that I was a parasite because I didn't mind taking and eating that burger, fries and drink he bought me for dinner..
+foureyedchick I don't know how long you have been with your narc.. I've been married to mine almost 40 year's the whole entire time he has controlled everything... and I'm quite sure when the day comes that he comes home and I'm gone and he has no place to live he will launch quite the smear campaign on what a bitch i'am and it will be our teenage grandchildren that will defend me and launch one against him because I will be gone and out doing all the thing's I missed out on while I was with this selfish asshole... Lol
dijornopizza I had hopes that he would change and become someone I would want to have around, they give you a little hope now and then. The games he played when it was just him and I he didn't play around the kids/ grandchildren, friend's or, neighbor's. I've also had my job, friend's at work that he didn't know and his job had him on the road much of the time. So we really don't and never did spend alot of time together.
dijornopizza True happiness comes from within and nobody is happy all of the time. I'm getting closer to retirement and I won't be including him in my retirement plans.
I understand very well the vicious circle you are describing in your response. It can be observed in most kinds of societies. However. There are women who manage to break the cycle and become mature enough to control the impact of negative previous experiences in their lives. There are women like that all around, people and women can be much more diverse and have diverse responses to life experiences. As you know, there is no rule to explain human behaviour.in an umbrella explanation.
My narc says that he only feels loved by me when hes having sex with me. He will coerse me and force himself on me. He calls me the narc all the time. I refrain from sex with him. Once hes abused me i will never willingly give myself to him.
Sam I do recall that in one of your videos, you were mentioning that they perceive women with an accent as inferior but if my memory serves me well as it usually does, it was not in the title so it would take me countless hours to find it, could you please indicate me where it is? that would be so kind because of what I went through. Thank you for your hard work on trying to wake people up that there is no real hope with a narcissist partner.
I strongly object to the stereotype, the myth that women are most often -or should be expected to (?) - attracted by socio-economic status of men and also that women are attracted to men who manage to make them feel a certain way. In sex and love: most women are attracted visually as much as men are by the opposite sex. It is the first natural response that makes their chemicals, hormones work. Male beauty in fact messes so much in women's brains that makes them ignore bad behaviour signals.
The narc i knew who beat me and assaulted me when i was a teenage girl used to rant about how great he is because he was a man. The only person he has around is our mom.
They're not asexual, they see sex as a weapon. It's more like they're not anything but seeing whatever as a weapon the world is a great big lie and they have to be the biggest liar in it but lying is not seen as a source of adulation because people disagree with it, they are seen as 'less than perfect' so they're not the liar, you are they dont seem to comprehend that people are in fact honest and genuinely want to do right by each other also professor can you please make a distinction between asexuals in the usual sense of the term, and narcissists who use sex as a weapon (and might be asexual outside of that context) it is possible to be a genuinely caring person and also asexual, the genuine asexual does not see sex as a weapon and finds the idea repugnant
Dear Dr Vankin, in your typologies of 3 narcististic types, you have successfully envisaged the make up of 95% of contemporary males and interpreted their actions. Being a woman, I am so sorry you are so right. Thank you. If I may, add to the types of women who become somehow the supply of especially cerebral another factor: the real (and by no means not perceived as such) lack of a better choice for most healthy females. Submissive women are still in great demand, as a role at least.
I had this experience with a narcissist who told me that his mother abandoned neglected him as a child and that he was estranged from her. He was obsessed with talking to me about all of his exes being crazy insecure (in order to control) He also was 10 years younger than me and he has a pattern of going for older women and non of his relationships didn't last due to them being crazy and insecure (according to him) but he craved all this attention from women. When we broke up he kept on making excuses of having depression and some other mystery illness and after I told him I would help him and that I had feelings for him he devalued and discarded me using depression as an excuse. Before I knew it he was on social media with his new supply love bombing her non stop. It is true that he is in this behaviour pattern as a drug addict feeding off of all these women to feed his habit. Very interesting videos!
My goddness! You've said everything about the demon I had in my life it was only his name that you didn't say! Exactly every single word except that it seemed you were his ex before me as she was 10 years older and I was the only one younger him as I was already mind older!
Dr. please consider this: Is it possible that a male is forced to reduce a woman to a sexual object because he knows that for him its impossibel to have the respect, romance, love, sex of that particular woman, there for he has to reduce her to a sexual object, because its easier for him to be rejected by and object then an human being.... is it possibel that this aparrent act of "disrespect" is a mechanism to a man to protect himself from suferring and frustation and depression?
Narcissists are angry at their mothers?Because they gave birth to what they are? But the narcissist believes that he is sperior and that all his opinions are true...shouldn't they adore their mothers instead, for making them gods? narcissists are not aware that they have problem...
My husband's mother died when he was a year old, his much older sister's left the family shortly after the mother died and he felt abandoned by the women in his life. Now, in his 60's he is acting out toward me and his older, now elderly sisters. Calling them out for leaving home when he was an infant and calling me a whore and distancing/alienating himself from our daughter's. He seems to look at 'happy' families he see's on the street and admire their family status--but his own family is traumatized by his lack of family camaraderie. It's as if he see's himself merely as an observer of successful people and happy families--not a participant, even though he is quite talented, skilled, and has all the ingredients for a happy life.
Pam Cooper My heart aches at the thought of leaving him--we've been married 38 years. But, I can no longer accept his demeaning language, negativity and lack of empathy anymore. My adult daughter's and a friend have 'staged' an intervention to help me leave him before he becomes excessively violent. Yet--I am still waffling about 'Is this the right thing to do?" (I took my marriage vows seriously.) Is there help for me to be able to 'let go'?
Pam Cooper These may be of help - click on the links: The Narcissist's Victims vaksam.tripod.com/faq38.html Victim Reactions to Abuse by Narcissists and Psychopaths vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders70.html Mourning the Narcissist vaksam.tripod.com/faq68.html The Three Forms of Closure vaksam.tripod.com/abuse17.html Back to La-la Land vaksam.tripod.com/journal78.html The Spouse/Mate/Partner of the Narcissist vaksam.tripod.com/faq6.html Divorcing the Narcissist and the Narcissistic Psychopath - How Do I Get Rid of Him? vaksam.tripod.com/5.html Traumas as Social Interactions vaksam.tripod.com/trauma.html How Victims are Affected by Abuse vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily21.html How Victims are Affected by Abuse - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily22.html How Victims are Affected by Abuse - Recovery and Healing vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily23.html Rescue Fantasies - Surviving the Narcissist vaksam.tripod.com/faq80.html The Malignant Optimism of the Abused vaksam.tripod.com/journal27.html The Inverted Narcissist - Codependence and Relationships with Abusive Narcissists vaksam.tripod.com/faq66.html Codependence and the Dependent Personality Disorder vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders22.html The Dependent Patient - A Case Study vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders56.html Danse Macabre - Trauma bonding and the Stockholm Syndrome vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily.html The Cult of the Narcissist vaksam.tripod.com/journal79.html Narcissists and Personality disordered Mates, Spouses, and Partners groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/5013 Projection and Projective Identification - Abuser in Denial groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/5002 Approach-Avoidance Repetition Complex and Fear of Intimacy groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/5000 Guilt? What guilt? groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4931 Narcissists, psychopaths, sex, and marital fidelity groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4920 The Narcissist or Psychopath Hates your Independence and Personal Autonomy groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4959 I miss him so much - I want him back! groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4934 Participate in discussions about Abusive Relationships - click on these links: plus.google.com/communities/116582645889927140499 www.runboard.com/bnarcissisticabuserecovery thepsychopath.freeforums.org/ The Narcissistic Abuse Study List health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/ The Toxic Relationships Study List groups.yahoo.com/group/toxicrelationships Abusive Relationships Newsletter groups.google.com/group/narcissisticabuse/ Take care. Sam th-cam.com/users/samvaknin (Narcissists, Psychopaths, Abuse) th-cam.com/users/vakninmusings (World in Conflict and Transition) th-cam.com/users/vakninsays (Sayings of Wisdom and Inanity) www.narcissistic-abuse.com (Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited")
Sam Vaknin Wow! Sam, thank you! Some of these I have already listened too and they have helped immensely already. Knowledge is key to understanding and growing Thank you for sharing yours. I will continue on with some of your other links --- and hopefully start to deal with the separation. Wrapping my mind AND heart around the idea of rejection--realizing I will never be special to him in a normal sort of way, and starting over at 58, is overwhelming. Knowing what to do is much easier than doing--yes, I have figured out that I am codependent and probably have a few other issues. Why else would I have tried to 'work around' it for 38 years? I am working on that!
One interesting thing, I wasnt "intelectually inferior" to them, I have more studies than them, and I speak four languages fluently. But emotionally speaking I am more "needy". Is there any relation with being "needy" from being attracting men with narcissistic personality?
I guess people should be kind to one another and life's to short to be one .SORRY! FOR thoes who , understand and others , who have to deal with it. Take care everyone. That goes for everyone.
You hate all women because of your mother? That is really screwed up. "Well"man, I think not. It would make sense if your hatred was directed at your mother for failing you. It seems from what you have suggested that she possibly did. Don't hold all women responsible for your mothers actions. For one, it means she's won and has messed you up good and proper, you have allowed her to to do this.
Wouldn’t life just be easier if we could just be left alone to be individuals. Free to be ourselves & live our own lives. I think life’s much easier to avoid all toxic controlling relationships of any kind. There to damaging to health.
THEY HAVE NO LOVE FOR LADYS ONLY TEMP LOVE HAVE LADYS THINKING THEY IN LOVE THESE KIND OF GUYS WILL PLAY AND DUMP A LADY FAST AND THEN TALK BAD ABOUT HER SAD BUT TRUE 😏😏😏 TELL ALL YOUR WORDS TO OTHERS TWO FACE ASWELL KNOW WHO YOU DEALING WITH SWEETHART THATS ALL IM SAYING
My ex-husband was a serial cheater, porn addict, addicted to strip clubs ans and met up w women on sex sites, in the community to have sex. We never had sex bc he was having sex w everyone in the community. He exposed my child to porn bc of his excessive use - all unknown to me until it came to an end and I discovered his double life. It destroyed it my life and my Sons. We have never been the same. My ex husbands girlfriend is 17 years younger and was a stripper at one of the clubs he use to frequent. They are still together. Ive been single for 9 years. I later discovered many other issues - his secret drug use, drugging me, and ultimately his thoughts of eliminating me- getting me out of his way to pursue his revenge to pursue the life he wanted. Sick man that was 100 percent a con and one of the best Ive seen in a lifetime
I was just thinking that. They have such contempt towards women but really want ones they can't have. But employ this false trumped up persona that blames women for all that's wrong in life.
he'll have twenty children if his society says that makes him a successful man and he'll emotionally abuse his wife and kids behind closed doors for the reasons you said in the video and sometimes she'll get battered wife syndrome and years later come back to show 'their family has it together' so his perfect life image stays that away otherwise she wont get to see the kids, or worse he'll manipuate the next two generations he never stops
Don't know if all are gay, but the many LGBTs I've known over many years displayed abundant variations in narcissistic behaviour, from overbearingly aggressive types who subjugate and oppress their more effete and masochistic partners, constantly belittling, deriding, criticising and even beating so violently as to put them in hospital (threw his boyfriend down the stairs after beating him to a pulp because "he loved him" !!) Then there's the cerebral OCD clean freaks who are extreme perfectionists for whom nobody and nothing is good enough - counter parted by the slovenly cerebral Quentin Crisp types who glory in their poor hygiene, disgusting habits and attention seeking. I'm sure these behaviours exist elsewhere, but the concentration dysfunctional behaviour in the gay world is breathtakingly extreme in my experience.
What you're talking about is Histrionic Personality Disorder. It's very similar to NPD, but they have genuine sympathy. Women suffer with that more than men. More men suffer with NPD than woman. He has a video on these differences.
I love your videos, and I would actually like more videos on female narcissists, specifically cerebral. They seem to be the more rare of the female narcissists.
Yes, my narcissist (to whom I refer by "Brainlord", as he named himself), was a Schopenhauer follower. This was one of the most misogynistic thinkers of all times. I felt that he didn´t really have idea of how to handle his existence in this life, so I felt that his philosophy of life was influenced by the considered greatest thinkers, as he usually said. Because he needs to follow and imitate patterns. I think they have no creativity in this way. What do you think?
Wow, just wow. My partner and I are separated but still living together and he is constantly bringing up that he feels like I'll keep our daughter from him, take all his finances, replace him with another man ect all thing I would NEVER do. I was raised by a single mother who was abandoned by men, I never met my father I know there is no replacement for Daddy and some of the effects it has long term.
I know you so much want your girl to have a daddy but the more you can keep him away the better off she will be. Being raised with him will likely result in her looking for someone like him. Also narcs do not like children!She will never be safe when she is aline with him. He may not abuse her but he will neglect he , lie to her, turn her against you. Please do whatever you can to keep him away. My ex died when my son was young but the psychiatrist told me to limit contact as much as possible and not make an6 excuses for him
I assume there are either narcissistic women or women who actually demonstrate the "falsely perceived" behaviour that the narcissist wrongly identifies in otherwise "normal" people if there is such a thing. In which case I assume that the two dysfunctional relationships go from parasitic to symbiotic. I would like to hear something along those lines too.
This is preposterous. This is because spurned women ALWAYS drag men through the mud - while an abused man - far more often than not - simply takes it, licks his wounds, and either suffers silently in an abusive relationship - or if he manages to extricate himself - after being screwed out of everything he's ever worked for, is so humiliated that he moves on without discussing it or using all of his friends and family like some kind of an emotional tampon in the way virtually all women do. The only reason more women are not being "diagnosed" as NPD, is because a great many of their "therapists" are duped into seeing only women as victims. I would challenge this assertion - in that women are far more geared toward using false images to attract, trap, and manipulate men, than the other way around. This is in fact the standard of behavior in society - and the way girls have been raised from childhood. Just look around any grocery store where every-day people are out shopping. You don't see men walking around in skin-tight "leggings" and dressed up like hookers to try and get complete strangers to look at their ass. MOST men do not do this. MOST women do. Among men, the vast majority are "what you see is what you get." Among women, the vast majority are "what you see - is what I want you to see -- not what is under the makeup, the provocative clothes, the walk and posture deliberately intended to show off my ass. Listen, statistics like these are meaningless, because this is not science. Statistics are only as good as the integrity of the data collection. Men approach problems in a relationship by trying to provide a solution. Women approach problems in a relationship with "emotional incontinence" (a woman once told me that - so I had to use it here). The meaning behind this is that as soon as there is a conflict in a relationship - by and large - MOST men try to solve it by fixing the cause of the conflict. Most Women on the other hand - approach all conflict by manipulating the other party. This pattern is not something one can "statistically" quantify - as you've ingenuously tried to do here. It comes from decades of experience both my own, and all of the men and women I've known in my life. Indeed, I was married to a woman who is a malignant narcissist, after having first known her for about 7 years before we married. The signs of her insanity were there but very subtle, and I didn't know what narcissism was at the time. I attributed her little "quirks" to her immaturity, our age difference (she was 14 years younger - BIG mistake) when in fact, she was a manipulative, self centered, sociopath. She was 22 when we met, 29 when we married, and 33 when she gave birth to our son, so this was not some naive over-night fling. Narcissistic women are long-term predators - they connive, plan, and secure their supply from a reliable source by meticulously trapping their prey through manipulation. Once trapped, the abuse is horrific. My ex-wife's depravity was only fully revealed after our son was born. As soon as she had the baby, her behavior toward me went off a cliff, and she became an incessantly abusive, demeaning, condescending, thieving, lying, cheating, b****h. Jekyll and Hyde - as many narcissists are described, is a spot-on characterization. She wound up abducting our son (when he was 4) to a foreign country, and it took me 16 months and all of my life-savings to rescue him and get him back to the US. The story with this insane woman is horrific. Almost everything I read on the internet to try to learn about narcissism was "gyno-centric" - from a woman's perspective. Women that have been abused by a male narcissist and then go and tell the world about it, vastly outnumber the abused men who have had their lives destroyed and afterward are then willing to talk about, write about, and share their stories. Therefore, many have been misled to believe that narcissism is a predominantly "male" phenomenon. Some journals even falsely claim that male narcs outnumber females by 4 to 1. This is absolutely ridiculous. It is the same skewed truth about pedophiles. It was once thought that pedophelia was a strictly male-perversion. However, we see at least as many female school teachers seducing their teenage students than the other way around. And far fewer teenage boys would ever disclose having had sex with an adult female teacher. For some reason, society sees this as a "benefit" to a boy, while a girl who has been abused by an older man is a victim. This example of the hypocrisy and double-standard held against boys and men reveals how these kinds of "statistics" are so vastly skewed that they completely misrepresent the real problems in our society. I'm now 54, and among ALL of my divorcing male friends, as well as my own experience with the 4 women I dated before I met my wife - every woman I knew, and every ex-wife that my friends are dealing with - are either NPD, or BPD - no exceptions. The feminist movement, which has taken great pains to emasculate and feminize men - while masculinizing women - has successfully created an entire generation of mentally ill, character-flawed individuals, incapable of carrying on a healthy mutually respectful relationship with either sex. Here is a common observation I've heard and read everywhere - but the obvious conclusion to that is something I've never heard or read anywhere: Women, use their sexuality to attract men, while men use the prospect of long-term security and wealth to attract women. There is no denying this. Many have suggested that this in someway portrays men as some sort of gorilla-like thug who is out to get laid and nothing more, while the poor, weak, subdued woman have to resort to using their precious bodies as a means to "find love." Really ? The reality is quite different. Men KNOW - that committing to a relationship with a woman will ultimately enslave him to life of hard work and servitude, while women know that they will by - and - large be taken care of - if not by the man - the by our one-sided and corrupt family court system. And in the process of entering this relationship - men KNOWINGLY offer to women their hard-earned wealth, the fruits of their former, current, and even future labor - in exchange for what exactly ? -- A few hours of sex from a woman who has provided a false appearance crafted from hours in front of a mirror applying make-up, and dressing herself up to as much as possible - enhance her sexual attributes, while spending little or not time even thinking about what they will eventually offer to the long-term relationship that is substantive -- earning ability, a willingness to sacrifice themselves for the sake of their eventual family, etc. Men work, men give up more than half of their waking hours to provide, men even sacrifice their own lives for the sake of the women and children in their lives. Women have no such sense of obligation. So who in this equation is the REAL User ? This claim that 75% of Narcissists are men is absolutely absurd. If anything, the reverse is true. How else could anyone explain the existence of a multi-Billion dollar cosmetics and fashion industry geared exclusively toward providing women with the tools to make themselves "LOOK" more attractive than they really are? Narcissism is by definition - the creation of a "false-self" intended to lure others into a relationship with that false-self so that those others can be used, manipulated, and abused. The vast majority of people who engage in this kind of behavior to lure in another with a falsely projected image are women, not men. There is no question that men and women are wired differently by nature. It follows then that narcissism among women and men manifests itself differently between the sexes. For example, a narcissistic father will view the relationship with his children, differently in many respects than will a narcissistic mother. This difference in wiring is simple to understand, and goes back to our basic survival biology. Men are wired to look to nature and their environment for the means to survive. Women are wired to look to men and other women (relationships) for their means of survival. Men are wired to work with, transform, and manipulate nature. Women are wired to manipulate other people. This is wired into our biology, and by this fact alone - the statistic you cite here is preposterous and without any basis of fact or scientific analysis.
Vanity is brought about by men favoring the more beautiful woman in society and shaming ugly woman. Woman would not be so vain if they weren't told to get plastic surgery or be better or where more makeup while society only shows these perfect woman in ads movies etc. Not all (but many) men don't initially value a woman for her brains or skills, they value her sexual attractiveness.
Rob D Rich Rob D Rich well I was referring to the comment that Andrew C. wrote 3 years ago about vain narc woman. Or is he right every woman who enjoys vanity being stroked is a narc? Then every girl with an Instagram, fake boobs, or perfect hair and make up everyday is a narc👌 good to know 🤔thanks 🙌and I certainly wasn't trying to offend you but my bad I may be misinformed but far from a narc. 👌Merry Christmas dude 🎄
You may visit therapist or your nearest health care center , or you may visit your place of worship idk what ur religion is and just do it . Maybe people there they will like to help you.
Seriously don’t listen to the comments. I think once a week (this helped me), white a list of the things you’re great at or things about yourself that you like (or others frequently compliment you on. Then, write the things you’ve been insulted on or areas you think you need to grow. A pros and cons chart. Make it detailed. You’ve already jumped a huge hurdle which is identifying the mindset. I’m interested in how it’s going 2 years later.
Do you think maybe you are just attracting the wrong women? Many people (men and women) will tend to attract a certain kind of person over and over again depending on their life experiences.
You have to realize Sam, women are not just unwitting victims without self direction or agency. Women are adults too fully capable of narcissism and abusive behaviour.
Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger! You are who you define yourself to be. The world if full of people -all possible genders one can imagine-with serious emotional disturbance and personality disorders.Do yourself a favour and please ignore her and her lot.
![[UNCUT] "บอสณวัฒน์" แฉ! แหล่งซุกเงินแก๊งบอส ขยันผิดที่ไม่กี่ปีก็เข้าคุก l คนดังนั่งเคลียร์ l17ต.ค.67](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/BL56qIfXYZM/mqdefault.jpg)
Ideal narssictic wife is
1. Of low self esteem
2.naieve
3.desperate
4.beautiful
5.decent
6.fragile
7.Sweet and feminine
8. Mellow
If u are that woman, u would be inclined to be with mr.wrong so u make him feel mr.right while he is mr.idiot. Faking respect and noding yes to his hallucination of vanity and self worth is sickening
foureyedchick damn
Arwa Said yup yup yup
Nerdygirl me too on my disgusting evil ex. My ex even went as far as to professionally rename himself ‘the almost evil hypnotist’ after I left him but extremely emotionally injured.
They know what they are doing.
You can see my ex if you look up Dale K comedy hypnotist... the evil he put into his promo.. that was a personal message to me to let me know he knew he was wrong but he will always get away with it and laugh all the way.
Evil. That’s what they are... to their core.
This was me when I met my ex! I was a perfect target.
Wow this describes my mom, who was my narc father’s codependent. Also describes my sister who has now married her own narcissist 😑
Clearly we need a new term here. I propose the definition for Mysogynarcissist - a person who hates women and has an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others, especially women.
Valhalla Andalusians Lmao good one
You have just described everything so perfectly for me. Thank you.
Misandrinarcissist
Sounds like you just described every woman on the planet.
@@khatack Sounds like someone who is a misogynist
love yourself enough to walk away from such relationships... you don't need them.
I have found this to be true. The (age 40ish) narcissist I knew has a mgtow channel where he rants about "disordered" women being users and emasculators, his take on "female nature" and so much more... all from the comfort of a room in his mother's house where he lives. Lol.
My husband is in this movement playing victim using it as a smear campaign 😪💔
@Northern Wind it's not truthful information. It's foolish to throw a whole gender into a box and label them as all the same and when I see the men or anyone doing that for that matter (men or women) about anything I instantly lose respect for them and think they are either stupid or have a distorted cluster b personality. It says alot about a man willing to be a part of a movement that bashes all women viciously and supports/encourages men to be mentally, emotionally even physically (yes I've seen that too) abusive to them and to neglect and hurt their own families just as my husband has. No normal healthy person with any kind of basic morals and discernment is going to look at this and think it's okay especially if you know anything about me as a person when I am nothing like the women they speak of my husband uses it to play victim and smear my name just because I'm a healthy person with healthy boundaries and I saw through his controlling and manipulative behaviour. That movement is full of all kinds of different men and some I actually sympathize with because I can see and understand they have sincerely been hurt and mistreated by a woman and have just in their heart break and anger joined this to cope but they are going the wrong way. The answer to a problem is not to have hatred and destroy. This group, a majority is full of narcissistic sociopaths which is evident for everyone to see and anyone who turns a blind eye to that and justifies it, they themselves are just as bad and have problems of their own.
I've been MGTOW for 9 years and love it. . . . And best of all. . . I DONT NEED OR WANT ANYONE. . .
@@Xclub40X you don't have to have a label to be single and choose to stay single. Mgtow is more than just that. They are a toxic cult. If you want to give yourself a bad reputation than stay there, most men who are in it though already have a bad character to begin with, that's why they are in something so toxic, damaging and hateful. Good men with good character just don't associate with groups like that which hate and demonise a whole gender.
@@kayceelee60 the real issue for you is that MGTOW is the way to go, and the more men that do so, means the less men that are available for you or any other woman for that matter. . . Ty in turns means less narcissistic supply, less controlling and dominating behaviour and the less that you can rely on someone else. . .
I'm not just an alpha Male, I'm the APEX of all alphas. . The greatest of all, and I absolutely love hanging out at the coolest areas, with the freshest look, drinking and eating the best, and travelling in ultimate style and class. Best of all, I KNOW I CAN have any woman I want, but choose not to bother with any, instead preferring to show what I have, while at the same time showing that NOBODY will ever have a chance to be in my life. . . To see how mad and frustrated a lot of you get over this is priceless. No doubt in my mind, if I was just a broke penniless regular guy, not a single shared of fucks would be given. But because of my prominence, prowess and who I am as a man; it's a big big deal . . .
Until women in general, start to make rational logical choices, instead of choosing to settle for less; then women should not be complaining that I'm turning them down and encouraging every other man to follow my advice and my lead.
I expect this comment to be disliked and I also expect to have all sorts of bitter angry replies from many of you; and I cant wait to get stuck in. After all, women for the most part (based upon the observations I have actually made in my personal life with the ones I have encountered) have all played the victim card, and will always complain about their results being based upon others and whining about patriarchy being to blame, when in fact the blame lies a lot closer to oneself. . .
Like I said, I'm too of the pack, ahead of the game, and am massively independent and advanced, a true alpha. . . . And this is the reason why a man of my stature is single. . . .OTHER MEN PAY ATTENTION TO THIS. . . if you are an alpha, you are uncontrollable and thus, as such, you are undateable. . . Women prefer easier, softer more manipulatable targets with lesser looks, as so they know those men will be desperate enough to stick around and gullible enough to pay financially and emotionally for those relationships. . Yet women still complain about those weaker guys and how they cannot get an alpha Male. . . . Morale of the story. . . If you have nothing to being to a relationship, then you cannot expect to gain from one.
Happy single over 9 years, and will be for the rest of my life. . . .monk mode and loving life and the luxury
I can't stand narcissists. I hate that there are so many around.
I know right...I'm over relationships..It's too dangerous to date anymore.
@@TheCissero I am not demonic just misunderstood
SAMEE
@@kz6713 stop being an abuser. 🙄
I have always known this to be true! Most narcissists pray that you never find out all of their secret reasons behind why they do what they do! All these men who bash women are nothing but narcissists who angry that no one is giving the attention they think they deserve.... same for women who like to bash men they are narcissists too! narcissism is very prevalent in today's society and social media has really made it worse.
I make rap music for narcissistic people like me. I think I might help some of these people. Why am I happy to be a narcissist? Because it's the way I am
Exactly 👏👏
@Deplorable Cat nah he probably suffered the abuse of a narc woman, who has government on her side.
Women basing men are most likely not narcissists, they just unfortunately had to deal with one. Most women after a certain age, don't give a shit about men period. After 20 years of their bs we tap out. And are entitled to talk all the shit we want. We paid our dues and are not looking for another man.
Demetrius Golden 44 its a lot better being alone peaceful u actually get to know yourself to love and appreciate yourself and work on your own inner demons I agree I’m 40 and burned out
Do yourself a favour sister, take the best care you can afford of your heart, body, mind and spirit. Stay away from things and these kind of people that cannot get fixed, please.
Pathological narcissism is a reaction to prolonged abuse and trauma in early childhood or early adolescence. The source of the abuse or trauma is immaterial - the perpetrators could be parents, teachers, other adults, or peers. Pampering, smothering, spoiling, and "engulfing" the child are also forms of abuse.
Sam Vaknin: My father lived an ideal life, was raised with every privilege, and spoiled. He never suffered any deprivation until his father died when he was 17. He was angry that his mother told him to get a job at the age of 18 and that he couldn't party all night and sleep all day. I was shocked to find out, six months ago, that my 84-year old father is still angry at his mother for making him get a job.
Unbelievable.
Momma's boys. Still suckling and nibbling on mommie's breast for life. Narcissists fail in all relationships, because they are constantly comparing their wifes or girlfriend to their mother. When disappointed or rejected, they go home to suck on mommie's tit.
Sam Vaknin Yes. Hurt people hurt people. He is a misogynist & hates he needs sex from a woman. Drives him nuts.
Dad tries to smother and spoil me and im 33. He's a sick ass narc!
@@missqlalahl
I absolutely hate and loathe narcissists, men especially. I know too many women, my mother included when she was young, that were emotionally or physically abused by scumbag insecure narcissist men. These men are not like that in the beginning, but once the I-do's are said in many cases (I know this is a generalization) these men become violent and controlling. I can never understand the sick desire of total control over another human being. In my dating life if the man starts to show the 'red flags' my ass is gone. I am not gonna go to jail for killing these creeps so its best for me to get the hell away from them and not look back. I don't care how handsome or successful the guy is. There are some men out there that are not like that and those are the jewels worthy of my attention.
+Amanda P. You're so right. My friend who used to be a such a nice sweet girl got totally destroyed by her husband. He turned her into a vicious hate filled anger filled woman and she aged so fast we were all shocked. He destroyed every ounce of her dignity and she was more like a dog on a leash instead of a human being and a married partner. There was no time during the day he didnt want to know what she was doing, where she was going, who she was meeting, what she was looking at...ever things as simple as running to the grocery store to pick up lemons, even then he would tell her to remain on the phone and talk to him and pick up the lemons at the same time. 100% total control.
It was only when she visited us for a vacation that we tried to have her see how viciously controlling and manipulating her husband was. She was supposed to come alone but 2 days later he also came, uninvited into our home.
Anyway, long story short, she did get a divorce after a bitter custody battle of 2 kids and after atleast 2 years he stopped calling and harassing. She didnt win the custody though because he had never let her work after the marriage so she had no income source.
Anyway, you're so right in your assessment. Stay sharp and stay safe. Dont get married in a haste like my friend did. Take care. :)
***** You are obviously a moron, I never said women can't be evil. We all can be evil. Men however tend to be more controlling and violent in general. Maybe you should read my whole comment again. How many women do you see 'intimidating' men with their physical strength or threatening them with violence? Or a woman trying to control what her man wears and where he can go and who his friends can be. Maybe in rare cases. But at least hopefully you don't really have a double digit IQ or have been hiding under a rock. Women have to be more careful about who they bring into their lives than men do. If you don't get this then you are a true ignorant idiot. Btw we have to worry more about where we walk to and who is around at every second as we can get raped/murdered/thrown in a ditch somewhere to rot. Common fucking sense.
Bananarista 1.0 Regarding marriage, you have to consider that up until the past few decades it was.... well, not even what we call marriage today, really. Cohabitation only became widespread and socially acceptable in the 1970s here in the UK, which is crazy to think about as I was born only a decade on from then. Not so long ago, when someone said "until death do us part" , they meant it. Or they better had, because it wasn't something you'd easily get out of! For women, it meant a loss of many rights (though to be fair the vast majority of women weren't ever going to be wealthy enough to enjoy such rights as property ownership for it to matter all that much), while for men there was a legal obligation to support your new wife and future children. It was a crime not to, and again, the vast majority of men were fairly poor, with few prospects, often out of work and desperately trying to find more. No welfare state to rely on back in the day either should you became ill. All that aside, the important thing about it we've lost is the genuine commitment it showed, to one another and in front of others, back when we lived in far more tight-knit communities where everyone knew everyone else. I wouldn't turn back time or anything, I know many people will have had terrible marriages, I just find it incredibly sad how disposable we've all become to one another in this comsumer age. Where previoisly people would've actually made an effort and honoured their commitment - even if just to a relationship rather than a marriage - we now jump from one relationship to the next, as if we were upgrading to the latest iPhone. Commitment and responsibility to one another in general are becoming increasingly eroded, and ultimately that's what gives security and stability to our lives and society at large. Being less restricted in so many ways isn't a bad thing at all, obviously, but everything in life is a trade off - we've made gains, but not without a few losses. And who honestly doesn't hate how narcissistic we've become, culturally? Even as individuals, really.
Kathryn Mercier Hey now, let's not be rash.
Sounds like you don’t like men
My dad hates women tends to take it out on me. Told me his parents never gave him lunch money so all the girls in his class couped together to help him out. Instead of appreciating them he resented them for it, states this is the reason why he has so much hate basically. Blames his parents. But honestly at almost 50 you'd think a grown man would be able to mature a bit and not blame women for his problems or take it out on his daughter. He's so insecure so he expects girls to cater to him but weaves it as if he's an "alpha male" for getting women to do what he wants
Your sperm donor is pathetic
can you imagine how fucked you have to be to hate women for...helping you?
Some narcs are mothered by a controlling mother who seems to have projected onto her children what she felt they should feel, what she wanted them to feel, or what she demanded they feel. They never got to feel what they felt--it wasn't acceptable.
gypsy lab no mothers fault
Or their father stop blaming ones
My mom was like this she influenced me alot. My dad was always working to pay a 100,000 dollar house which he bought in 2001. I was born in 1996 and I am 24. I have trouble with women and im self centered
and some women get abused by their fathers and their men in their lives and don't become raging misandrists. stop taking away men's capacity for accountability and blaming it all on 'the mother'
@veronica There should be a word for a female sycophant who's always ready to defend her male abusers - be it father, brother, boyfriend, etc.
Of course there are bad moms too, but don't take away from the typical violent narcissism & abuse that billions of fathers around the world inflict on their poor families.
Yes, he acused me of being a parasite for not working and taking care of our disabled child. After 6 years of marriage he discarded me, but I noticed he wanted to get rid of us when our boy was 2 years old, just after he was diagnosed.
Now I can see all Prof. Vaknin describes is so true. It’s like if he would be describing my ex husband. How can all narcissists behave in such similar way!
My husaband wanted lots of sex but always treat me as a thing, a means to acting out his fantasies. He continually left me frustrated until i simply couldn't bear sex at all. When out in the car he would say thinga like " whoa, look at the arse (or tits) on that!" He wanted me to be a prostitute and wanted to see other men have sex with me (he wanted but didn't get). He was utterley obnoixious. Controlling, manipulating bastard. I couldn't get away from him, he had me thinking that my anger was because i was "unstable". I thought myself a pathetic nothing outside of him. When he died of cancer i was released.
Why did you marry him then , for resources ?
😂
My partner is a cerebral narcissist. We rarely have sex, and absolutely no intimacy. Basically, I have a roommate, and I do all the work. I've had it!
How the hell you end up with him. Maybe you have a part
@@elXXXXrockymaru Narcissists DONT show you who they are for YEARS in most cases. That's how people 'end up' with them. Don't blame us for men being massive pieces of shit.
@trente-trois Mille most of them swing both ways because they don’t care who they get the supply from anyone anything
@@XxxX-wx3er I was able to get free finally. Physically, if not psychologically. I’m sorry to hear of your pain and damaged soul/heart. I hope you heal, friend. Sending you ❤️ and ✌️
@@charlesiei6831 I’m not in my 30s. No indication any of us are. Irrelevant point, anyway. Why would you defend cerebral narcissists?
sadly, I am not surprised at the hatred & blame of women in these comments. this is so prevalent in our culture & world, whether you are a narcissist male or not.
Sadly there are also Women bashing women. You put it correctly, "male or not" because there are also Ns Women
It’s funny, considering the majority of narcissists are male lol.
@@kristenb180 That's because men strive to be whatever makes women moist, so its your own fault. Women don't respect men who put their woman before themselves.
@@kristenb180 Exactly.
Kristen B because men are all about power and narcissist love to feel powerful
This is by far one of the most significant videos I have found. I’ve been trying to find a definitive correlation between narcissists and all the misogynists hiding behind “The Red Pill” and this explains it perfectly. Thank you Sam.
Your a moron you missed the lecture in it's entirety. You have failed the exam//!
Hey boo how's a crazy narcissistic guy gonna get layed with these stupid apps ?
You are amazing seriously . I am finding your videos about masogyny so helpful to understand how my boyfriend is treating me and so I'm leaving him tonight
About a quarter of all diagnosed narcissists are women. Since women tend to attend therapy more than men, it is safe to assume that their share is c. 10%. Watch the relevant video about women narcissists on my channel.
Only a quarter? That seems low to me. Have you been to Instagram? LOL!
@@DaSurfr its way higher indeed
@Marly B that's exactly what a narc will say that people hate him and feel jealous of his greatness !!! Fuck psychologie !!
Why are mothers always blamed? What if the father was the abusive?
my former narcissists his mommy made him what he is, his dad was absent much of the time bc of his job, she had a fear of losing her little boy and raised him to distrust women, she poisoned his mind with many year's of every woman he ever had just wanted him for his money so he used women up for sex and dumped them before he had to give them anything especially his money..
Mary W
Sounds like my ex narc.
Mary W "Momma's gonna keep baby healthy and clean". Pink Floyd
16ssd what if both were and fed off each other? That’s my truth.
Shaun M mine too Shaun... I feel you’re pain on that one! Xo
Thank you for this insightful information. My WHAT THE F--K IS GOING ON relationship is now making sense.
Thank you, you're a life saver. THIS video explains it all and you know more than anyone about Narcissism.
My ex-husband was narcissiatic and he definitely hated me. No sex for months and months, it was a nightmare. Only he did not leave, I did and he hated me even more. Thanks so much for this video, I knew something was wrong with him, I just did not know what, Thank you so much for this video, its like you knew him personally.
I know of a terrible male narcissist. On the outside and to most he seems charming and wonderful.
He was abandoned by his own mother at the age of 12. His father had to raise him. How would abandonment by his mother affect his feelings towards women in relationships. He never resolved this and refuses (what a big surprise) to get any help.
I find it absurd for men and women to justify blaming a whole gender based on the dark side of humanity that both genders share. Get a clue, men and women, we're biologically different in order to procreate but our humanity is the same, both positive and negative sides. Negativity is NEVER justifiable.
@@judelee9658 I think the dark side of men has historically and evidently been more horrible. stop acting clueless
I learned very early that he wanted me to ask for sex just so he could turn me down.After the first gaslight, I never asked again. When I was getting ready to get rid of him he said, 'You nevery ask me for sex anymore. I know you want it.' Oh brother. I told him that he wants to turn me down so it was no longer fun.."He admitted it but said that it didn't mean he didn't want it. Ugh.
No matter how good looking he is if you’re asking you need to dump him asap
My narcissistic father discarded me early on in life because I am not a “typical” woman. I didn’t provide enough NS for him and he began grooming my younger brother who was more talkative and adoring. Interesting video to watch and I always appreciate that you share these insights.
Same. I was a strong willed woman even as a teen and my narcissistic evangelical misogynistic father despised me as a teen for not being submissive and evangelical and would threaten to kick me out at 17. Eventually I did move out and then my narc parents put the blame on me entirely and complain/ are angry that I never visit.
@@yourfavoritenetcitizen6525 YES, my life exactly! He's hyper-spiritual and says I'm "in the flesh" whereas he's a "perfect saint". He rejected me as soon as I started to find my voice. Thankfully I have a strong connection to Jesus and know that my dad is just talking extremist nonsense. I hope you're doing better now that you're away from them. ❤
You can correspond with me via this TH-cam channel (send me a personal message) or samvaknin Facebook page (send me a message.)
He once said I need you more than I care to admit...
Wow. Reminds me of 2 siblings__eeek!
Everyone needs to watch his video on female narcissism...he is not saying women are not. He is talking about men Ns in this particular vid.
This brought me to tears as I made connections and realizations. This embodies my past relationship to a T
I dated a guy who was misogynistic and slept with men as well as women even though women presented challenges due to him needing ti assert power
The downvotes are attributed to the last part of the video when the OP says that it is a projection of themselves. Narcissists didn't like that part!
It all comes together now. I've heard excuse after excuse why he never has initiated intimacy. Thank you for your insightful videos.
When a woman has the power, or sexual dominion in the relationship.. the relationship is dead and the blood is on her hands
Initiation is the primary role of the male. And submission to sex is the role of the female. Mother Nature has intended it this way since the dawn of time among every animal species on the planet. But all too often, men want the role of the female in the bedroom rather than the role of the dominating male. People need to stop trying to bend the rules of Mother Nature and accept how things work when it comes to sexual courting. Man pursues. Woman submits.
@@SteelCowGirl4Ever yes, it's 'natural' : that's why millions of women are fighting against it. and rape and other horrible things frequently occur in primitive spaces, it doesn't mean we should condone them as higher thinking humans.
Oh and countless times when he or others said abusive or horrid things to me ....I heard .."You deserve it!!" Thank you for these vids..Find them very helpful..
This is my husband's personality.
Mine, too. Soon as my daughter is older, I am outta here.
Amanda Rogers why wait?? I went through university on my own with three kids, it’s not worth it and the more she sees, the more she will think this is an acceptable way for men to behave.
Mine too, so tired of this.
This is my mother’s
My 'boyfriend' moved in. No sex at all. No touch.
They love you to hate yourself and love them more than anyone else
That could explain why my gf is being cyber bullied must be a man who hates women and she didn't know he hated women,some gay men bully woman but not all of them
This is along the lines of what I've delt with. Only i witheld intimacy and kept on figuring out why and discussing over the years. Hasnt been but these last 3 years that we've had our most successful communication. Thanks again!
The truth of the matter is most of us have been hurt by somebody and to resort to hatred hurts the hater in one way and the hated in another. Why people can't understand that being full of hatred belittles the hater, make life a terrible experience beyond the hurt the person has experienced. Can't you see the lack of resolve in hating. We've all been hurt.
@Coaching By Daisy Stop what?
I don't know if you can answer this but...
when I lived in Old NY, I saw a number of underage girls get broken down by older men. The girls would look defeated physically and mentally. I saw Puerto Rican and Jamaican men PURPOSELY treat these girls like they are old damaged goods and no one wants them. They seemed to get satisfaction from treating these abused girls like this... can someone please explain the origin of this mindset and culture.
All these people in the comment saying they hate narcissist men. You cannot fix hate with more hate. Narcissist people are sick, they aren't happy people, in fact they're miserable people. I married one and as much as I suffered during our relationship, I will never hate him. I wish him well and I hope one day he seeks the help he needs and finds true peace within himself.
Thank you for this comment. Needed too hear just this amoungst the endless shit.
6:20 narc are emotionally dead
They are spiritually emotionally mentally dead , they don’t exist they are just persona . No soul . Literally they have disavowed themselves
He tells me "What a relief " after sex. Not love just sex
Their status has changed over the last 50 years but the world they live in is still dominated by the 19th century narcissistic models of male-female interaction. Progressive legislation has only deepened the drift between genders. It is very much like a social class conflict. Loneliness, divorce, broken homes shows how little we have developed as a species. You may agree that most women however,are still more forgiving, less aggressive
When I told my mother 2 years ago she was a malignant narc and went no contact with her, one of the things i said to her about me feeling she was a malignant narc was the way she RAISED me to believe ALL women were COMPETITION and she maligned, gossiped, and DESTROYED women behind their backs who'd done NOTHING to her.....except in her OWN mind. One such assertion that really made me start to notice she wasn't "normal" was when I was a TEENAGER and she spent almost the entire 3 hour car ride HOME from an Aunt's house complaining about my very young 20 something aged BEAUTIFUL cousin "flirting" with my STEP DAD. I didn't notice that, I didn't think that was happening, but...SHE SURE DID. This complaining for 3 hours straight going back home from a family get together was NORMAL. I was used to it. But somewhere in my getting older and everyone tuning her out INCLUDING my step dad...she started to get tricky.... She'd rant but....you'd still hear the tone of voice CHANGE. I wasn't paying attention. We'd always just shut up and let her whine. But around the same age I noticed she was CONSTANTLY slamming women and imagining competition that was NOT there, I noticed she wasn't content to rant alone anymore...she wanted CONFIRMATION she was right. So intermittently in the ranting she'd end a paragraph of whining with "....or am I just NUTS?! I'm the ONLY one that NOTICED that?! Seriously?!" and if you didn't respond YOU WERE NEXT. So we all learned to toss out a bare minimum of "Yeah...I know." which to ME ONLY MEANT "Yeah...I KNOW you think that...." lol it was NOT me agreeing with her. In fact, it made me think she needed THERAPY.
I spent my ENTIRE CHILDHOOD in therapy and the therapists KNEW before I did, I was there because my mother could NOT manipulate or BREAK ME. They recognized the DANGER in her and one therapist flat out said in a session "....I understand what is happening and WHY you're not telling me very much, sweetheart. You think your mommy gets to hear everything you say to me. She doesn't get to hear it all. She gets to hear MY impression of your state of MIND based on the things you tell me. But, I rarely would be telling her WHAT you are saying. I'm going to help you survive your mommy, okay?" I had NO idea what the HELL she meant until I was MARRIED and in my 30s. No idea. I was the family garbage can. EVERY single thing that happened in our home was MY fault. Therapists tried to explain the word "skapegoat" to my parents and tell them they really needed to stop it. There was NO way a MINOR child was responsible for the dysfunctional dynamic of a family of FIVE; in fact children are a PRODUCT of their environment, NOT the creators. Any time someone got down to brass tax like that with my mother and step father....that was the LAST time that therapist saw our family or ME.
My mother is male dependent, so that didn't help. My step father LOVED my younger sister, so....my mother doted on HER. My step father didn't like that I didn't trust him and was wary of him....with good reason. I did NOT know HOW I knew it when I was 6, but I KNEW he was going to be the catalyst to destroy our family. All I could verbalized to my mother was he was going to "wreck" us, which she thought was ridiculous. I saw DANGER in him, and FELT it when he would be ANGRY that I was distrustful of him and his intentions and for making ME responsible for the decisions and actions he chose to make and do. "She made me angry...." right. Before they married, he'd joined the same church we were in, read scripture with us, etc...it continued for a little while AFTER they married until someone "offended" him in a Sunday School lesson about the Prodigal Son. I've heard their version of the story a bajillion times....but my thoughts were always the same...if you quit going to church because someone "offends you"...then you weren't going to church for a relationship with God, you were going for a relationship with PEOPLE. The people "let you down"...so you withdrew yourself from their "unworthy" presence of your fabulousness lol They still don't see it that way. But, not long after that event my mother was no longer allowed to pay tithes and other things he decided he didn't like anymore either. Our family dynamic was ALREADY dysfunctional, this....fractured every single thing beyond repair when he stopped going to church and my mother followed suit.
To this day, my younger sister can do NO wrong lol she married an emotionally and mentally abusive malignant narc prick JUST like my mother did and she is WILDLY unhappy but, I am the only person who has confronted my brother in law's behavior to his FACE and asked his family HOW this happened to him and if he had a PAST of this behavior, because those nuggets of information were important to ME to understand how many times he'd done those things to other women and lost NOTHING but the woman for it. Unfortunately, it happened at least 2 times and NO ONE in our family knew about it. Two VERY LONG relationships with 2 different women, 2 years long for each relationship ENDED abruptly with NO explanation given to anyone but a close friend or two....no one in his family really knew what happened. But, if the shoe fits....I mean if even ONE woman put up with that for longer than 2 seconds and he kept her for 2 years, he wasn't going to STOP...he was going to UP HIS GAME. That's all. My mother is SO desperate for that marriage to NOT fail, she's advised my sister to "hang in there" meanwhile, he swears like a sailor AT her and in front of their children. TWO DAUGHTERS who are watching mommy ACCEPT this behavior from a man and STAY and GROW the family. I don't know HOW she is doing to unSCREW her daughter's brains when it comes time to date but...I just hope she can.
My sister is attractive, skinny, and sarcastically funny. She is a woman hater as well, but...a Cancer, so toned down a bit. My mother is a female Sag and...they are notorious in my experience with being male dependent to emotionally dangerous levels. I'm not sure HOW someone ended up male dependent AND a woman hater but...she did. I don't wear makeup, I don't "do" my hair, I don't hate women, I don't trash them behind their backs as a matter of due course to my day, and I truly love and like so many of them...she thinks I'm a moron. She slams ME, my sister, my brother's wife, her own mother in law, her aunts, her brother's fiancees or wives, her sisters in law, her mother in law, MY MOTHER IN LAW, my sisters in law lol....if she doesn't find a "ball busting" strength coming out of the woman, and she isn't comely or plain....she'll rip a woman apart for being an attractive idiot. I think it takes more strength and courage to NOT act out like a child and ALLOW people in your life to NOT be perfect and and love them in their imperfections and where they are AT currently.
Love your concluding comments. Nobody makes it through this world perfect in word and deed all the time. Love, patience and empathy is needed with others in recognition of our own imperfections - especially children. Whilst you don't need to be a doormat, you don't have to criticise and crush others just to prove a point. You're a strong and perceptive woman - keep thriving and surviving.
Thank God for the truth!
I watched this video few times over the last months. Thanks again Sam for sharing your knowledge! I would really appreciate if you could extend this topic to a specific area in a new video: Men who rape their partner, the mother of their own child... What is the mindset behind such an horrific act?
How do narcissists treat their mothers then? My ex was good to his mother but treated other women as inferior.
Nightcore VirtuaCop2 interesting. Why do you think that happened for you? It just doesn't make sense to me that a narcissistic male could love their mother but then hate the women they date... I thought that men that loved their mothers were good to the women they dated? thank you for sharing.
Nightcore VirtuaCop2 well I think he misjudged the situation with me because I seem to piss him off moment by moment.. because I don't just sit there and passively accept what's going on, I fight back. That makes him angry. He's said many times to me "why can't you just fall in line, a woman is supposed to be submissive" etc. I have tried calming him when he is angry, doesn't seem to work. Yeah in some regards I wonder if he wants to be taken care of but at the same time he is more independent than anyone I have ever dated.. but in my opinion it's not a healthy independent.. it's to the point where basically he shouldn't be in a relationship because it seems like i am a "burden" to him and he'd rather not be bothered... but on the flip side of this, the past two weeks he spent every waking moment with me pretty much. It's very odd. Yeah it's like he acts as if his mom and him were so close, said they used to speak about everything, but now he barely talks to her. They barely say anything when they are around each other.. she just seems zoned out and it's hard for me to imagine she was much more connected than this at any point. Any way, I am not dumb but he definitely has treated me as if I am.. I think it's a projection because he feels threatened by me.. anytime I say something intelligent, which is often if I feel like talking, he tends to ignore it or change the subject. I feel like it goes over his head and he doesn't want to admit that so he just ignores it. I hope not a lot of men watch incest porn, the thought of that makes me feel sick to my stomach honestly. Why is it do you think that men who grow up in single parent households have that rage and anger? Too much stress and responsibility placed on their shoulders at a young age? I think my issue too is I have a shitty mom so it's hard for me to believe that he could adore his mom that much... and I think it also pisses me off cause he's told me some of her thought processes and they're fucked up and twisted, I think it makes me angry because clearly (no offense) she dropped the ball with him somewhere for him to be treating me (or anyone) so poorly so when he praises her as if she's so great it makes me angry because it's very obvious to me that his mother failed him in regards to emotional and mental health and support... yet here i am, the codependent, trying to wake him up and I'm treated like shit? Doesn't make sense. His mother doesn't do shit for him, she has nothing to offer him... and in fact she kind of fucked him up. Confusing to me. Maybe he is taking his deep seeded anger that he secretly has for his mother out on me 😂
Nightcore VirtuaCop2 I already tried. He has been very clear that he thinks there is nothing wrong with him and that I am the only problem here. He thinks he's perfectly normal and fine. I don't know for sure if he is a narcissist but he tends to flip from being pissed and rageful to being somewhat detached and uncaring. He's been very clear he doesn't care about my feelings. He basically gets pissed or tries to leave if I get upset or cry or anything involving emotion.. normal emotion that anyone would feel when being treated how he has treated me. And he blames me for everything... why he gets so angry, why he does what he does, he says I'm the one who makes him like that 😒 so I guess if we are all living by that rationale, it's the victims fault that they were murdered, it's the child's fault that they were abused. Mind blowing.
Nightcore VirtuaCop2 is there any way I could have your email to ask you more questions? Your input has been so helpful for me!!
Thanks for your answers to Kate Grace. Finally I understand my ex's mind. It's important because we have a son together. So thanks.
YES i noticed that in two Narcs already, my friend and a random old man. They bad-mouth women. Clearly they had mother issues when younger. Mother must have been demanding and bossy. As mine is, yet I try to cope and maneuver my way.
Watching your videos I perceive I dated not only one, but two narcissists.
Both of them were virgins and didnt like to have intimacy, not only phisical but also dates and the like. One of them is still celibatary and doesnt want to date anyone else - for good.
I was the first gf of both, even the first kiss - they were adults, one 24 and other 32.
Both lived with mother and one of them didnt have neither an employment.
One of them I thought was bipolar (loved and adored me one day, hated me the other day with no reason, our relation ended with no reason or discussion), but now I see he has so many similar characteristics with narcissistic personality.
The other (with no employment) I thought was only depressive, but the sexual fantasies were so equal to the described ones in the video of narcissistic's sexual fantasies. He even had fantasies with animals and children (I know this is awful to admit, I argued with him saying this was not such a thing to say to a gf).
Even the part of the doll is true, one of them said to me he would like to have a "love doll" at home to have sex with her.
But they were virgins and didnt have any sex with me either. But their sexual fantasies were so frequent, they wanted to talk about them so much time.
Both were very overprotected by their mothers and were very dependend on them.
I attract men like this to my life, is there any way to avoid them before start having a relation?
Mariana silva : Yes, pay attention.
I love your video's. this describes my former narcissists to a tee.. all he ever wanted was detached, emotionless, commitment free sex and if he didn't get it he would tell me that I was a parasite because I didn't mind taking and eating that burger, fries and drink he bought me for dinner..
+foureyedchick
I don't know how long you have been with your narc.. I've been married to mine almost 40 year's the whole entire time he has controlled everything... and I'm quite sure when the day comes that he comes home and I'm gone and he has no place to live he will launch quite the smear campaign on what a bitch i'am and it will be our teenage grandchildren that will defend me and launch one against him because I will be gone and out doing all the thing's I missed out on while I was with this selfish asshole... Lol
Mary W why have you stayed for 40 years
dijornopizza
I had hopes that he would change and become someone I would want to have around, they give you a little hope now and then. The games he played when it was just him and I he didn't play around the kids/ grandchildren, friend's or, neighbor's.
I've also had my job, friend's at work that he didn't know and his job had him on the road much of the time. So we really don't and never did spend alot of time together.
Mary W are you happy
dijornopizza
True happiness comes from within and nobody is happy all of the time. I'm getting closer to retirement and I won't be including him in my retirement plans.
I understand very well the vicious circle you are describing in your response. It can be observed in most kinds of societies. However. There are women who manage to break the cycle and become mature enough to control the impact of negative previous experiences in their lives. There are women like that all around, people and women can be much more diverse and have diverse responses to life experiences. As you know, there is no rule to explain human behaviour.in an umbrella explanation.
My narc says that he only feels loved by me when hes having sex with me. He will coerse me and force himself on me. He calls me the narc all the time. I refrain from sex with him. Once hes abused me i will never willingly give myself to him.
Smart move
You are so spot on. Great work, sir, and thanks for sharing your knowledge.
Sam I do recall that in one of your videos, you were mentioning that they perceive women with an accent as inferior but if my memory serves me well as it usually does, it was not in the title so it would take me countless hours to find it, could you please indicate me where it is? that would be so kind because of what I went through. Thank you for your hard work on trying to wake people up that there is no real hope with a narcissist partner.
I strongly object to the stereotype, the myth that women are most often -or should be expected to (?) - attracted by socio-economic status of men and also that women are attracted to men who manage to make them feel a certain way. In sex and love:
most women are attracted visually as much as men are by the opposite sex. It is the first natural response that makes their chemicals, hormones work. Male beauty in fact messes so much in women's brains that makes them ignore bad behaviour signals.
Truth 😊
The narc i knew who beat me and assaulted me when i was a teenage girl used to rant about how great he is because he was a man. The only person he has around is our mom.
They're not asexual, they see sex as a weapon.
It's more like they're not anything
but seeing whatever as a weapon
the world is a great big lie
and they have to be the biggest liar in it
but lying is not seen as a source of adulation because people disagree with it, they are seen as 'less than perfect'
so they're not the liar, you are
they dont seem to comprehend that people are in fact honest and genuinely want to do right by each other
also professor can you please make a distinction between asexuals in the usual sense of the term, and narcissists who use sex as a weapon (and might be asexual outside of that context)
it is possible to be a genuinely caring person and also asexual, the genuine asexual does not see sex as a weapon and finds the idea repugnant
Dear Dr Vankin, in your typologies of 3 narcististic types, you have successfully envisaged the make up of 95% of contemporary males and interpreted their actions. Being a woman, I am so sorry you are so right. Thank you. If I may, add to the types of women who become somehow the supply of especially cerebral another factor: the real (and by no means not perceived as such) lack of a better choice for most healthy females. Submissive women are still in great demand, as a role at least.
I met a lot of those ALOT
I had this experience with a narcissist who told me that his mother abandoned neglected him as a child and that he was estranged from her. He was obsessed with talking to me about all of his exes being crazy insecure (in order to control) He also was 10 years younger than me and he has a pattern of going for older women and non of his relationships didn't last due to them being crazy and insecure (according to him) but he craved all this attention from women. When we broke up he kept on making excuses of having depression and some other mystery illness and after I told him I would help him and that I had feelings for him he devalued and discarded me using depression as an excuse. Before I knew it he was on social media with his new supply love bombing her non stop. It is true that he is in this behaviour pattern as a drug addict feeding off of all these women to feed his habit. Very interesting videos!
My goddness! You've said everything about the demon I had in my life it was only his name that you didn't say! Exactly every single word except that it seemed you were his ex before me as she was 10 years older and I was the only one younger him as I was already mind older!
Dr. please consider this:
Is it possible that a male is forced to reduce a woman to a sexual object because he knows that for him its impossibel to have the respect, romance, love, sex of that particular woman, there for he has to reduce her to a sexual object, because its easier for him to be rejected by and object then an human being.... is it possibel that this aparrent act of "disrespect" is a mechanism to a man to protect himself from suferring and frustation and depression?
Anyone who I’ve had sex with I never thought of as an object. That’s so warped within itself.
@@Megdracula we are not the same as men. Many of them fantasize about raping and killing us. I’ve never heard a woman who enjoyed abusing her partner.
@@leilameow9582 why delete
and yet why isn't this phenomena reversed for women when men reject us or degrade us? why don't we start objectifying them???
9:27 TH-cam Stop Messing with My Head! Lmaooooooooooo!!!!
Narcissists are angry at their mothers?Because they gave birth to what they are? But the narcissist believes that he is sperior and that all his opinions are true...shouldn't they adore their mothers instead, for making them gods? narcissists are not aware that they have problem...
Narcissists and self-awareness www.narcissistic-abuse.com/2.html Narcissist's Mother www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq64.html
My husband's mother died when he was a year old, his much older sister's left the family shortly after the mother died and he felt abandoned by the women in his life. Now, in his 60's he is acting out toward me and his older, now elderly sisters. Calling them out for leaving home when he was an infant and calling me a whore and distancing/alienating himself from our daughter's. He seems to look at 'happy' families he see's on the street and admire their family status--but his own family is traumatized by his lack of family camaraderie. It's as if he see's himself merely as an observer of successful people and happy families--not a participant, even though he is quite talented, skilled, and has all the ingredients for a happy life.
Pam Cooper My heart aches at the thought of leaving him--we've been married 38 years. But, I can no longer accept his demeaning language, negativity and lack of empathy anymore.
My adult daughter's and a friend have 'staged' an intervention to help me leave him before he becomes excessively violent. Yet--I am still waffling about 'Is this the right thing to do?" (I took my marriage vows seriously.) Is there help for me to be able to 'let go'?
Pam Cooper These may be of help - click on the links:
The Narcissist's Victims
vaksam.tripod.com/faq38.html
Victim Reactions to Abuse by Narcissists and Psychopaths
vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders70.html
Mourning the Narcissist
vaksam.tripod.com/faq68.html
The Three Forms of Closure
vaksam.tripod.com/abuse17.html
Back to La-la Land
vaksam.tripod.com/journal78.html
The Spouse/Mate/Partner of the Narcissist
vaksam.tripod.com/faq6.html
Divorcing the Narcissist and the Narcissistic Psychopath - How Do I Get Rid
of Him?
vaksam.tripod.com/5.html
Traumas as Social Interactions
vaksam.tripod.com/trauma.html
How Victims are Affected by Abuse
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily21.html
How Victims are Affected by Abuse - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily22.html
How Victims are Affected by Abuse - Recovery and Healing
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily23.html
Rescue Fantasies - Surviving the Narcissist
vaksam.tripod.com/faq80.html
The Malignant Optimism of the Abused
vaksam.tripod.com/journal27.html
The Inverted Narcissist - Codependence and Relationships with Abusive
Narcissists
vaksam.tripod.com/faq66.html
Codependence and the Dependent Personality Disorder
vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders22.html
The Dependent Patient - A Case Study
vaksam.tripod.com/personalitydisorders56.html
Danse Macabre - Trauma bonding and the Stockholm Syndrome
vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily.html
The Cult of the Narcissist
vaksam.tripod.com/journal79.html
Narcissists and Personality disordered Mates, Spouses, and Partners
groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/5013
Projection and Projective Identification - Abuser in Denial
groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/5002
Approach-Avoidance Repetition Complex and Fear of Intimacy
groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/5000
Guilt? What guilt?
groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4931
Narcissists, psychopaths, sex, and marital fidelity
groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4920
The Narcissist or Psychopath Hates your Independence and Personal Autonomy
groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4959
I miss him so much - I want him back!
groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/narcissisticabuse/conversations/messages/4934
Participate in discussions about Abusive Relationships - click on these
links:
plus.google.com/communities/116582645889927140499
www.runboard.com/bnarcissisticabuserecovery
thepsychopath.freeforums.org/
The Narcissistic Abuse Study List
health.groups.yahoo.com/group/narcissisticabuse/
The Toxic Relationships Study List
groups.yahoo.com/group/toxicrelationships
Abusive Relationships Newsletter
groups.google.com/group/narcissisticabuse/
Take care.
Sam
th-cam.com/users/samvaknin (Narcissists, Psychopaths, Abuse)
th-cam.com/users/vakninmusings (World in Conflict and Transition)
th-cam.com/users/vakninsays (Sayings of Wisdom and Inanity)
www.narcissistic-abuse.com (Malignant Self-love: Narcissism
Revisited")
Sam Vaknin Wow! Sam, thank you! Some of these I have already listened too and they have helped immensely already. Knowledge is key to understanding and growing Thank you for sharing yours. I will continue on with some of your other links --- and hopefully start to deal with the separation.
Wrapping my mind AND heart around the idea of rejection--realizing I will never be special to him in a normal sort of way, and starting over at 58, is overwhelming. Knowing what to do is much easier than doing--yes, I have figured out that I am codependent and probably have a few other issues. Why else would I have tried to 'work around' it for 38 years? I am working on that!
One interesting thing, I wasnt "intelectually inferior" to them, I have more studies than them, and I speak four languages fluently. But emotionally speaking I am more "needy".
Is there any relation with being "needy" from being attracting men with narcissistic personality?
Can you really speak 4 languages?
@@nedoneis2324 sorry what?
I guess people should be kind to one another and life's to short to be one .SORRY! FOR thoes who , understand and others , who have to deal with it. Take care everyone. That goes for everyone.
You hate all women because of your mother? That is really screwed up. "Well"man, I think not.
It would make sense if your hatred was directed at your mother for failing you. It seems from what you have suggested that she possibly did.
Don't hold all women responsible for your mothers actions. For one, it means she's won and has messed you up good and proper, you have allowed her to to do this.
Wouldn’t life just be easier if we could just be left alone to be individuals. Free to be ourselves
& live our own lives.
I think life’s much easier to avoid all toxic controlling relationships of any kind. There to damaging to health.
THEY HAVE NO LOVE FOR LADYS ONLY TEMP LOVE HAVE LADYS THINKING THEY IN LOVE THESE KIND OF GUYS WILL PLAY AND DUMP A LADY FAST AND THEN TALK BAD ABOUT HER SAD BUT TRUE 😏😏😏 TELL ALL YOUR WORDS TO OTHERS TWO FACE ASWELL KNOW WHO YOU DEALING WITH SWEETHART THATS ALL IM SAYING
My ex-husband was a serial cheater, porn addict, addicted to strip clubs ans and met up w women on sex sites, in the community to have sex. We never had sex bc he was having sex w everyone in the community. He exposed my child to porn bc of his excessive use - all unknown to me until it came to an end and I discovered his double life. It destroyed it my life and my Sons. We have never been the same. My ex husbands girlfriend is 17 years younger and was a stripper at one of the clubs he use to frequent. They are still together. Ive been single for 9 years. I later discovered many other issues - his secret drug use, drugging me, and ultimately his thoughts of eliminating me- getting me out of his way to pursue his revenge to pursue the life he wanted. Sick man that was 100 percent a con and one of the best Ive seen in a lifetime
He's describing "mgtows".
Yeah.. its all good when women have their man blaming support groups, but god help men if they do the same.
The men who follow and live by the virtues of the MGTOW movement should all view this video.
I was just thinking that. They have such contempt towards women but really want ones they can't have. But employ this false trumped up persona that blames women for all that's wrong in life.
I really really like your channel!! Amazing information
Women are perfect angelic creatures. She spits in your face you better say thank you God dammit
Hahahaha ily 😂
Yes, they do. See the relevant video on my channel.
he'll have twenty children if his society says that makes him a successful man
and he'll emotionally abuse his wife and kids behind closed doors
for the reasons you said in the video
and sometimes she'll get battered wife syndrome and years later come back to show 'their family has it together' so his perfect life image stays that away
otherwise
she wont get to see the kids, or worse
he'll manipuate the next two generations
he never stops
This explains a lot about some people I know, so is it fair to say that most are gay??
no
Don't know if all are gay, but the many LGBTs I've known over many years displayed abundant variations in narcissistic behaviour, from overbearingly aggressive types who subjugate and oppress their more effete and masochistic partners, constantly belittling, deriding, criticising and even beating so violently as to put them in hospital (threw his boyfriend down the stairs after beating him to a pulp because "he loved him" !!) Then there's the cerebral OCD clean freaks who are extreme perfectionists for whom nobody and nothing is good enough - counter parted by the slovenly cerebral Quentin Crisp types who glory in their poor hygiene, disgusting habits and attention seeking. I'm sure these behaviours exist elsewhere, but the concentration dysfunctional behaviour in the gay world is breathtakingly extreme in my experience.
What about religious people and figures who abstain from sex. Are they narcissist too?
Sometimes
What you're talking about is Histrionic Personality Disorder. It's very similar to NPD, but they have genuine sympathy. Women suffer with that more than men. More men suffer with NPD than woman. He has a video on these differences.
I'm not a narcissist...I just hate everyone other than me.
thesanctityoflife 😉
😀😅😂...99 out of 100 people just agreed with you but are too frightened to admit it ...just in case...right?
narcissists and misogynists are not necessarily one and the same.
I love your videos, and I would actually like more videos on female narcissists, specifically cerebral. They seem to be the more rare of the female narcissists.
oh my god....how enlightening.
Such a great explanation.
Totally accurate description. Especially, how they use other women against females, who are more capable, and they compete with.
Great upload ,
Yes, my narcissist (to whom I refer by "Brainlord", as he named himself), was a Schopenhauer follower. This was one of the most misogynistic thinkers of all times.
I felt that he didn´t really have idea of how to handle his existence in this life, so I felt that his philosophy of life was influenced by the considered greatest thinkers, as he usually said. Because he needs to follow and imitate patterns. I think they have no creativity in this way. What do you think?
I don't think like you. Cancel me.
Wow, just wow.
My partner and I are separated but still living together and he is constantly bringing up that he feels like I'll keep our daughter from him, take all his finances, replace him with another man ect all thing I would NEVER do. I was raised by a single mother who was abandoned by men, I never met my father I know there is no replacement for Daddy and some of the effects it has long term.
I know you so much want your girl to have a daddy but the more you can keep him away the better off she will be. Being raised with him will likely result in her looking for someone like him. Also narcs do not like children!She will never be safe when she is aline with him. He may not abuse her but he will neglect he
, lie to her, turn her against you. Please do whatever you can to keep him away. My ex died when my son was young but the psychiatrist told me to limit contact as much as possible and not make an6 excuses for him
He sounds like a MGTOW wannabe douche
Nailed it
I assume there are either narcissistic women or women who actually demonstrate the "falsely perceived" behaviour that the narcissist wrongly identifies in otherwise "normal" people if there is such a thing. In which case I assume that the two dysfunctional relationships go from parasitic to symbiotic. I would like to hear something along those lines too.
this woman knows kung fu and hates men. got tired of being abused. celibate for life.
Same here..
It's the Jezebel Spirit...It's running loose and wild in these men....Guard your heart dear..It's way too dangerous out here..
Profesor, i have a question, can a narcissist woman be misogynist?
Yes. They often are because they identify with male roles.
@@samvaknin
Women hate men, so a man hates woman
@@Zero-le8th It started first that men hated women so women hated back. Let’s not lie to ourselves.
Thank you, I've fitted all the pieces together.
08:48 - 09:58 These fears are not entirely without merit...
I don't know why the focus here is on men. The insights here could apply to women narcissists, too, and their need for men to supply vanity strokes.
75% of all people diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are men. Female narcissists: www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq34.html
This is preposterous. This is because spurned women ALWAYS drag men through the mud - while an abused man - far more often than not - simply takes it, licks his wounds, and either suffers silently in an abusive relationship - or if he manages to extricate himself - after being screwed out of everything he's ever worked for, is so humiliated that he moves on without discussing it or using all of his friends and family like some kind of an emotional tampon in the way virtually all women do. The only reason more women are not being "diagnosed" as NPD, is because a great many of their "therapists" are duped into seeing only women as victims. I would challenge this assertion - in that women are far more geared toward using false images to attract, trap, and manipulate men, than the other way around. This is in fact the standard of behavior in society - and the way girls have been raised from childhood. Just look around any grocery store where every-day people are out shopping. You don't see men walking around in skin-tight "leggings" and dressed up like hookers to try and get complete strangers to look at their ass. MOST men do not do this. MOST women do. Among men, the vast majority are "what you see is what you get." Among women, the vast majority are "what you see - is what I want you to see -- not what is under the makeup, the provocative clothes, the walk and posture deliberately intended to show off my ass.
Listen, statistics like these are meaningless, because this is not science. Statistics are only as good as the integrity of the data collection.
Men approach problems in a relationship by trying to provide a solution. Women approach problems in a relationship with "emotional incontinence" (a woman once told me that - so I had to use it here). The meaning behind this is that as soon as there is a conflict in a relationship - by and large - MOST men try to solve it by fixing the cause of the conflict. Most Women on the other hand - approach all conflict by manipulating the other party. This pattern is not something one can "statistically" quantify - as you've ingenuously tried to do here. It comes from decades of experience both my own, and all of the men and women I've known in my life.
Indeed, I was married to a woman who is a malignant narcissist, after having first known her for about 7 years before we married. The signs of her insanity were there but very subtle, and I didn't know what narcissism was at the time. I attributed her little "quirks" to her immaturity, our age difference (she was 14 years younger - BIG mistake) when in fact, she was a manipulative, self centered, sociopath. She was 22 when we met, 29 when we married, and 33 when she gave birth to our son, so this was not some naive over-night fling. Narcissistic women are long-term predators - they connive, plan, and secure their supply from a reliable source by meticulously trapping their prey through manipulation. Once trapped, the abuse is horrific. My ex-wife's depravity was only fully revealed after our son was born. As soon as she had the baby, her behavior toward me went off a cliff, and she became an incessantly abusive, demeaning, condescending, thieving, lying, cheating, b****h. Jekyll and Hyde - as many narcissists are described, is a spot-on characterization. She wound up abducting our son (when he was 4) to a foreign country, and it took me 16 months and all of my life-savings to rescue him and get him back to the US. The story with this insane woman is horrific. Almost everything I read on the internet to try to learn about narcissism was "gyno-centric" - from a woman's perspective. Women that have been abused by a male narcissist and then go and tell the world about it, vastly outnumber the abused men who have had their lives destroyed and afterward are then willing to talk about, write about, and share their stories.
Therefore, many have been misled to believe that narcissism is a predominantly "male" phenomenon. Some journals even falsely claim that male narcs outnumber females by 4 to 1. This is absolutely ridiculous. It is the same skewed truth about pedophiles. It was once thought that pedophelia was a strictly male-perversion. However, we see at least as many female school teachers seducing their teenage students than the other way around. And far fewer teenage boys would ever disclose having had sex with an adult female teacher. For some reason, society sees this as a "benefit" to a boy, while a girl who has been abused by an older man is a victim. This example of the hypocrisy and double-standard held against boys and men reveals how these kinds of "statistics" are so vastly skewed that they completely misrepresent the real problems in our society.
I'm now 54, and among ALL of my divorcing male friends, as well as my own experience with the 4 women I dated before I met my wife - every woman I knew, and every ex-wife that my friends are dealing with - are either NPD, or BPD - no exceptions. The feminist movement, which has taken great pains to emasculate and feminize men - while masculinizing women - has successfully created an entire generation of mentally ill, character-flawed individuals, incapable of carrying on a healthy mutually respectful relationship with either sex.
Here is a common observation I've heard and read everywhere - but the obvious conclusion to that is something I've never heard or read anywhere: Women, use their sexuality to attract men, while men use the prospect of long-term security and wealth to attract women. There is no denying this. Many have suggested that this in someway portrays men as some sort of gorilla-like thug who is out to get laid and nothing more, while the poor, weak, subdued woman have to resort to using their precious bodies as a means to "find love." Really ? The reality is quite different. Men KNOW - that committing to a relationship with a woman will ultimately enslave him to life of hard work and servitude, while women know that they will by - and - large be taken care of - if not by the man - the by our one-sided and corrupt family court system. And in the process of entering this relationship - men KNOWINGLY offer to women their hard-earned wealth, the fruits of their former, current, and even future labor - in exchange for what exactly ? -- A few hours of sex from a woman who has provided a false appearance crafted from hours in front of a mirror applying make-up, and dressing herself up to as much as possible - enhance her sexual attributes, while spending little or not time even thinking about what they will eventually offer to the long-term relationship that is substantive -- earning ability, a willingness to sacrifice themselves for the sake of their eventual family, etc. Men work, men give up more than half of their waking hours to provide, men even sacrifice their own lives for the sake of the women and children in their lives. Women have no such sense of obligation.
So who in this equation is the REAL User ?
This claim that 75% of Narcissists are men is absolutely absurd. If anything, the reverse is true. How else could anyone explain the existence of a multi-Billion dollar cosmetics and fashion industry geared exclusively toward providing women with the tools to make themselves "LOOK" more attractive than they really are? Narcissism is by definition - the creation of a "false-self" intended to lure others into a relationship with that false-self so that those others can be used, manipulated, and abused. The vast majority of people who engage in this kind of behavior to lure in another with a falsely projected image are women, not men.
There is no question that men and women are wired differently by nature. It follows then that narcissism among women and men manifests itself differently between the sexes. For example, a narcissistic father will view the relationship with his children, differently in many respects than will a narcissistic mother. This difference in wiring is simple to understand, and goes back to our basic survival biology. Men are wired to look to nature and their environment for the means to survive. Women are wired to look to men and other women (relationships) for their means of survival. Men are wired to work with, transform, and manipulate nature. Women are wired to manipulate other people. This is wired into our biology, and by this fact alone - the statistic you cite here is preposterous and without any basis of fact or scientific analysis.
of all people diagnosed,,, a covert malignant narcissist avoids detection and diagnosis. so how can you know that 75% of narcs are men? You can't.
Vanity is brought about by men favoring the more beautiful woman in society and shaming ugly woman. Woman would not be so vain if they weren't told to get plastic surgery or be better or where more makeup while society only shows these perfect woman in ads movies etc. Not all (but many) men don't initially value a woman for her brains or skills, they value her sexual attractiveness.
Rob D Rich Rob D Rich well I was referring to the comment that Andrew C. wrote 3 years ago about vain narc woman. Or is he right every woman who enjoys vanity being stroked is a narc? Then every girl with an Instagram, fake boobs, or perfect hair and make up everyday is a narc👌 good to know 🤔thanks 🙌and I certainly wasn't trying to offend you but my bad I may be misinformed but far from a narc. 👌Merry Christmas dude 🎄
some good information 4 those that r really rude,in a controlled manner...thank you 4 sharing 😂🤪😤
I am a narcissist, I admit/. BUT I am humble and willing to change. Where do I go from here?
Candid man, The graveyard
Jesus
go to hell
You may visit therapist or your nearest health care center , or you may visit your place of worship idk what ur religion is and just do it . Maybe people there they will like to help you.
Seriously don’t listen to the comments. I think once a week (this helped me), white a list of the things you’re great at or things about yourself that you like (or others frequently compliment you on. Then, write the things you’ve been insulted on or areas you think you need to grow. A pros and cons chart. Make it detailed. You’ve already jumped a huge hurdle which is identifying the mindset. I’m interested in how it’s going 2 years later.
I love women!
Do you think maybe you are just attracting the wrong women? Many people (men and women) will tend to attract a certain kind of person over and over again depending on their life experiences.
You have to realize Sam, women are not just unwitting victims without self direction or agency. Women are adults too fully capable of narcissism and abusive behaviour.
Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger! You are who you define yourself to be. The world if full of people -all possible genders one can imagine-with serious emotional disturbance and personality disorders.Do yourself a favour and please ignore her and her lot.
With this one you blew mind