If I've Forgiven, Why Am I Still Angry? +LIVE Q&A
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.ย. 2024
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Still struggling with feelings of unforgiveness? Join me in this LIVEstream as we explore If I've Forgiven, Why Am I Still Angry?
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yes i struggle with this. i thought i forgave and then something reminds me of something and i get angry again. and i get annoyed because i feel bad bc i dont want to be disobedient to God. its a vicious cycle
To forgive means to let lose or set something free, letting God, who is your avenger, take over. It has nothing to do with feelings.
When this happens with me, I consciously remind myself that I have already forgiven this person, and that Jesus died on the cross not only for me, but also for those who have wounded me, and that I need to leave it at the foot of the cross. Sometimes, I have to do this more than once a day. The enemy loves to throw that person's transgressions against you in your face. Remember, he is the accuser.
I have forgiven , but you know toxic ppl wait for you too let your guard down .. then the cowards act up again .
@@victoriavitoroulis3273 …YES!!🙏🏾
If my husband betrayed me and I don’t seem to stop being angry, what should I do?
I will forgive him eventually but I don’t want to go back to him. I don’t trust him anymore!
We honor our parents by not enabling their bad behavior or allowing them to continue their abusive ways with us or any others under our protection. We honor them by giving them clear boundaries and consequences, if they are not remorseful, repentant and willing to work towards ending their abusive ways.
Thank you...SO WELL SAID!!!
Amen. By not allowing them to destroy us
Thank you. Your comment helped relieve my false guilt.
Thank you SO much.
AMEN. And If this means to leave them alone to "eat from their own fruit" so be it. (Proverbs 1:20-31) 🙏
My husband of 42 years had an affair in 2003. And then caught him again in 2019. Not sure how many other times he committed adultery. November 13 I said I’m done and left. Filed for divorce. Found out about Narcissistic behaviour and that is who he is. Realized there were many red flags along the way. I was victimized and now God has set me free.✝️❤️🙏
I’m so sorry you were treated like that. She has provided relief for the Christian when for years no other Christian gave me answers. Felt like they were like so sorry but they don’t understand because they have a happy life. Not that I am not happy for others for being happy. But I feel like it has been Gaslighting on a communal scale.
Excellent job as usual Kris! I read not too long ago: "to forgive someone means you release yourself as judge over the offender and transfer judgment over to God."
Lay it at the foot of the cross, where it belongs.
I forgave a narcissist I'm still with. I know he won't change unless God got a hold of him. The forgiveness is for me to heal within...❤
God answered the questions I had in my heart. I've chosen to forgiven people but I still feel the anger from the unhealed emotions. This makes a lot of sense.
Thank you! God bless!!!
I'm so glad it was helpful. Thanks for watching Bianca.
Most people have no peace even when they say they have forgiven an unrepentant sinner because the relationship did not go through the steps of confession and forgiveness, two sides of the same coin. The relationship remains broken when the offender is not sorry. "Saying" I forgive you to an unrepentant sinner is foolish and does nothing, it often makes them angry and solidifies their rebellion.
?This is so fantastic! A great tool for learning. As I have just separated from 21 years of narcissistic abuse in a “Christian” marriage. It’s been just over a year since I took the steps to get out. You make it clearer what I’m trying to say on this topic of Godly forgiveness. The in-laws and his story for my reason for leaving is that I’m bitter and haven’t forgiven. They refuse to accept the fact that my reason for leaving was his narcissistic abuse. This included repeated infidelity for over 20 years. The last time he admitted the adultery was 2014. We were married in 2000. That’s 14 years of repeated adultery with a mistress at his work. There was no real change or repentance or fruit. Then there was the silent treatment, gas lighting, devaluing, and lies. I forgave him all those times. Out of obedience to God & the need to move forward. I often spiritualized his behaviour and saw myself more of a martyr for our marriage than a wife. I’ve also recognized my codependency. That I am working on. That is what also kept me in such a abusive marriage for so long. His family also coerced me and manipulated me to stay all these years as well as Pastors and my own ignorance of the biblical truths of marriage
I hear you, and I am right there with you in the sense that narcissistic abuse has become a way of life and perhaps I like you have been codependent. But I think in this last month so I have recognized that it’s more about enabling him to continue to be abusive and for him to just be able to get away with it sweep everything under the rug and life goes on and I find myself falling back into his arms well, not really in his arms because he rarely huggs me. But crawl into bed with him and try to live as a married couple and try to forget what happened last week or the month before week before the year before the years before and it does seem like whenever an offense occurs, all of those things that in my heart I have forgiven him for and to live life as normal as possible and as peaceful as possible. But all the former hurts flood back. All my years of hurt have finally come to a point where I believe God put before me teachings from multiple instructors and from my pastor that in actuality I am living outside of the will of God by continuing to be in this guys clutches and that it is time to break the tie and to move on. I have been a church musician for many many years 63 and serving God and want to be close to God and for sure living in this condition is not good. So God reminded me that situation for Lot and how was it it was time for him to get out of this place where his soul was Vexed on a daily basis. That hit me as being a word from God to me that I should not continue to live in this condition and then as I was writing it down in my journal God reminded me about Lot’s wife and warned me not to be like her Not to look back so I should continue to go forward and remove myself from this condition in this home.
Hi from South Africa. I so wish you were based here. In two years since finding out my husband of 33 years cheated on me for a lufetime, I have yet ONCE to have heard from a multitude of counsellors what you are saying. I am understanding myself for the first time and jot just feeling like a failure. This is one of the BEST talks Ive heard explaining my emotions. THANKYOU.
Forgiveness is setting something free into Gods hands, who avenges you. He always avenges us in very creative ways!! Ive seen this in my own life!
I finally made peace with a couple of friends at church whom I had held resentment, anger, unforgiveness, etc. Had to LET IT GO. I want to live blameless for the Lord. ❤❤❤🎉
Last sentence 🙇♀️🙇♀️!
To truly forgive you have to get out of your head and get into your heart. That is where love and compassion lives. I forgive without expecting anything in return, even if I’m not the offender. I don’t let what others do or say effect how I feel in my heart. You have to have empathy towards people no matter who they are.
It's easier said than done.
@@chautran2588it is possible but can be a difficult process. It takes time.
Wow this is so good, thank you so much for sharing.
Part of the reason we keep getting triggered is because we keep going back to interact with people who are unhealthy for us snd who deliberately provoke us
I sometimes keep reliving and trying to understand why it happened
I've been stuck at the rehashing phase recently because i fell into a trap then felt like how i used to as a child. But by God's grace I'm going to break out of this cycle.
It's true, I always battle with such feelings telling myself I have forgiven therefore don't have to keep feeling like this.
God Bless, you sister you can't imagine how much of a blessing you are. God is so using you.
👍you just described my family situation..forgave over and over and over ...even though no one ever asked for forgiveness ..lived with self examination, confusion, pain, anger, despair and rage...the finally said I'm done. Since have dug into your teachings and understand for first time in my life what the heck has been going on. At 65 years old 😮 the scapegoat is finally totally free! Totally done. Don't ruminate any more..could care less about the crazies I've exorcized from my life! 😊❤
Thank you, Kris. Even though I am a Biblical Counselor, I have struggled with anger after divorcing my wife of 42 years, because she continued to be an unrepentant covert narcissist. You reminded me that recovering from the hurt is often the reason we might still feel angry after making the decision to forgive. This helped me immensely.
I struggle with this. When I am around my mother in law, she will say things that trigger me, even though I have forgiven her. I’ve decided to keep my distance.
👍 wow! Forgiveness and also requiring the other person to show you their fruit …. Spot on…. Toxic people don’t bear fruit.
I'm 71 and I have forgiven my brother probably 10 years ago because I know he will never change that's not going to stop me from giving my forgiveness to him but it also doesn't give me permission to go back into the fire I don't go back into the dysfunction I give him permission and turn him over to God and I move on
I struggle with bad remembering , it is poison in my mind sometimes, so I put an image of a cute little lamb on my phone. Every time I want to go back to bad thoughts again , I have a look at this little lamb with his sweet nice eyes, and I switch off my bad thoughts. I am not joking, I do it.
I have forgiven but am still living in the circumstances every day, with no end in sight. I’ve tried to set boundaries but it only escalated the situation.
Hopfully you have it a lot better after this 4 months? I have been in the exakt same place ass you. Else lisend to what is said 9 minuts into this program.
And if the person that have abused you havende Truely repent than you can try to forgive as mutch as you like, it will never solve the problem, you will have to remove you selv from them. Its than not for you to fix it, than God has to take it, not you.
May God bless you to go on in your life, in Jesus name i pray for you.
Best wishes for you
Daniel Voncina
I choose to forgive. Some days, I choose to forgive a lot!
And forgive yourself
Yes, I struggle with this and my husband is always saying I haven’t forgiven him.
I am blessed with your message
A poster preached when that happen he said, repeat your forgiveness until God heal you completly
You nailed it to the wall Kris trust is the key , I do not trust them at all and have had to put them out of my life because they keep doing the same thing over and over again
I struggle with this all the time. I have a lot of people who have hurt me in the past most of them family. I pray to God and ask him to help me and give me a new heart to forgive, but those hurtful feelings keep coming back to me.
Examine LONG TERM fruit. Trust requires earning. Forgiveness is given.
This is definitely something that I struggle with.
Been betrayed by friends,, and also the father of my daughter, he's hurt me alot and right now they're expecting a baby with another woman and he says it to my face,,the woman also looks for me saying she's pregnant for my husband and she's keeping it.They hurt me, everyday,, I struggle with these emotions everyday,,,my daughter is to join school,,am jobless,,I don't understand what's going on in my life,,May God give me the willing spirit to overcome and forgive them
Kris, I thank you so much for this. My issue is I always try to understand “why did they hurt me? What was their motivation?” But I’m going to start examining the fruit and pray to move forward.
Yes... And because you keep understanding more of how they lied and manipulated you to get you to cooperate eith their double life. The disrespect to me and my adult children is amazing.
Wow! Unsealed Emotional wounds 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 🙌🏽❤️🔥💯
Yes I struggle with all
Of this
Pls put cc on this clip; such a SMART SAVVY person you are; rightly dividing the word of God so we keep away from toxic people WITHOUT the guilt trip that other christians put on us to get us to subject ourselves to more abuse!! forget THAT!! been there done that, no more!!
From the philippines here. Your content on narcissist and toxic behavior has been my spiritual therapy. It is difficult for someone like me to open up to others for counselling as they would not understand that my mother is that person that I have severed from my life because of lifelong cycle of emotional abuse and gasligting- I love that you have pointed out that even though I have forgiven the madam and myself, I do have unhealed emotions. I am in that process now and by His grace, I continue to overcome.
Blessings and Favors
All the time . I going through something so painful
I forgave, but will never reconcile with those who show unrepentant behavior. It's the same with some new acquaintances.
Yes ma’am! All the time! I ask The Lord… I thought I had forgiven all of this? But yes, I am still healing …
I just finished listening to this for the second time. Great stuff! And it's not all about anger, it's very comprehensive. I will probably listen to this several more times before I take it off my Watch Later list.
It's the same person 22 years later doing the same thing on the same day my husband passed. It's coming in on my social media. It is very upsetting otherwise we don't correspond at all.
My husband has broken my trust many times. I love these videos and would love one specific to marriage. Is so challenging, as you said, in marriage because of the covenant.
Oh my gosh yes! I struggle with this every day!
I am with u Kris.
I’m still struggling with that. I know I want to because I know it’s for me but then those sneaky feelings and thoughts come in and the thoughts that they are getting away with what they said and did
Yes I have struggled with this.
Amen sister
Yes. Trying to deal with it now.
You are a big big blessing Kris
Thank you Kriss . At last!
Scripture says, "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and a sound mind"
Thank you Kris Reece for you awesome videos. You articulate these topics on narcissism very well that my hope is that those who display, heavily, these characteristics of narcissism will listen to what you have to say and break them from that spell their under. Blessings to your and your work on keeping us informed of these, hard to understand, issues.
Kris u have been a blessing I pray God bless u
Thank you Miss Reece
Thank you for your teaching.
Full of wisdom and knowledge in biblical way i like this very much day and night i always watch the videos forme to learn more, anyway my name is janelyn GOD BLESS you kris you are a BLESSING tome..keep the FAITH
I’m constantly practicing forgiveness with my toxic mother. She continues to spread lies about me and that I never see her. When I reach out to make time for her she declines or cancels after we have a plan to get together. That tells me she really does not want to see me. She professes to be a Christian, however, she is the most unforgiving angry Christian I have ever met. My difficulty is that she is now 101 and still clear of mind and more difficult. I struggle of abandoning her tho she is being well cared for in a residential
Community. I need to stay away for my own wellbeing.
Mothers can cause so much damage. I’m struggling with the same problem. I was ok and could forgive when I could avoid her but now she’s 92 and needs a lot of help so I have to see her so it just brings it all back. She thinks she’s never wrong and never apologizes so that makes it more difficult. I pray about it every day but I’m still struggling.
I decided to forgive my mom . After my parents divorced, I was 14 then, she was left with 3 children and realized she didn't want to handle all that came with it. She focused on herself and finally left when I was 18, I am the oldest. She has always used lies and her health to manipulate us. It is really sad. I work in the medical field and know for a fact that so far she is healthy. Its been really hard trying to have a relationship while being lied to. I ignored most of it for the good of the family but now I know that I enabled her behavior. The most recent incident was just too much and I decided to distance myself from her. I really thank you for these tools and giving us clarity to work this issues in a biblical way.
You did the right thing. Hugs
I've been listening to your videos for about a week now. The Lord led me here. I had a fall out with a family member about a month ago. It not only shocked me but hurt me deeply. I made the first move of forgiveness. I believed the Lord wanted it dealt with quickly. We've both said we're sorry but I still feel angry at times. TY for helping me through this.
Thank you for addressing this issue with utmost understanding and compassion.
I thank God for your wisdom, so much!!!
I love all your teachings. Thank you so much!
Marie From Arkansas
I’m so glad I came across this video. I had forgive but felt uneasy, that maybe I hadn’t really forgiven, as I felt anger at the things they did to me. This video opened my heart and eyes. 🙏🏼
Words really can't say how much that this has helped me! And yes I can relate to the times I have sounded like a "dragon" instead of a Christian woman 🙁
You did this a year ago, but it is still positively impacting others. My story is too long, but I see a number of people who have gone or are going through what I have and still are to a degree. God bless you my dear Sister for your love for the Lord Jesus Christ and others. Dear Lord Jesus, please strengthen Sister Kris to give her love of Christ to whoever needs it. In Jesus' name AMEN ✝️👑💖
It is hard to distinguish between forgiveness, while also trying to protect ourselves and our boundaries against those who take advantage of and hurt us. I try daily to forgive my ex for what she did, but the minute I let any guard down, she will pounce and try to pretend like nothing ever happened (serious betrayal and she filed divorce) and wants to go back to being and wife. When I reassert my boundaries, all hell breaks loose and my children are hurt more than anything.
So good! Thank you for this.
Yes I do that..
Thank u so much !! God bless you!
I'VE BEEN TRAPPED!!!
Thank you so much for the words of wisdom
YES
Im having a hard time forgiving the girl that hit me last month in a bad car wreck she totaled my car the cop said either one of us would have been going any faster it would have killed both of us she broke my neck C2 fracture and left me there to die and I am going through a lot and I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that she was uninsured as well I had to fall all this on my insurance I don't know how to forgive I am trying so hard to the pain that I feel is unreal from this broke neck I could have been paralyzed!!!!!
Thank God you are still alive give all the glory to Him focus on Him in Jesus name 🙏🏾
GO TO THE WORD OF GOD...BRINGS YOU LIFE AND DELIVERANCE IN JESUS NAME...
Evil ppl always expose themselves. Always!
Sure on the right track
Just found your channel and love your videos, It is really hard to not be angry at times, I just look at my case, was with my highschool sweetheart, about to start a life toguether after 6 years as a couple, I helped her parents, her and her siblings with their lives, business and illnesses (All the while I was in college and working at my parents business full time, nothing is free in life), only to be cheated on, have my money stolen, scammed and now they are living the luxury life completely opposite to what they "preached" while I was with them, I do ask myself where is God in all of this? How can he allow such wolves in sheep clothing to run rampant through his churches and ministries and not do a single thing about it? After 6 years and I have still not moved on, I guess my Faith is waining.
OH WHOA!! back it up...did you ASK GOD if this person was THE person? or did u just go with your FEELINGS? WHERE is God in all your misery in this relationship? Well, Hes RIGHT WHERE you LEFT HIM....on the shelf....you did NOT ask God about this person BEFORE you started this relationship based on your FEELINGS...next time, ASK GOD to make it PLAIN to you about a person BEFORE you pour yourself into a relationship head over heels etc....consider the books of Kings and Joshua; the kings (whether they were Godly or not) regularly and WISELY asked the priests IF they should go to war against another tribe/nation...because they SOON learned that if they did NOT consult God, and went to war anyways, most of the time they would b defeated in shame and dreadful results followed...and the priests then ASKED GOD if their nations military shd go to war or not, and God answered them clearly. and of course, if a person is NOT clearly a christian (by their fruits you will know them) then WHAT THE **** are you DOING with them? you are DISOBEYING the WORD!! so if you WANT Gods wonderful choice of a mate to come into your life, ASK Him and DONT go looking in bars etc...and DONT settle for a cheesy choice...
Thank you for watching. I pray that your faith would remain strong. Jesus said there will be wolves in sheeps clothing. I pray for your discernment to grow and that bitterness will not prevent you from moving forward in all that God has for you.
Praise God the truth became evident before you married and had children! You are free to move on to achieve God's best for you! Your experiences will give you wisdom and sensitivity that will help not only you for your entire life, but others as well I believe. I hope you are healing up, moving on, and doing better.
???How about both???
Current problem magnified by a past season of disrespect and hurtful behaviour by someone who claims I'm one of his closest friends. There's not been an opportunity to restore trust. And, he recently exhibited similar disrespect.
This is so good. I’m in process right now of asking God to release me from my toxic marriage. I cannot go back to what was. I’m so done.
Thank you, very helpful ❤
I was worried that I hadn’t forgiven. But, the reality is, that I have. I’m no contact with my father and stepmother because the bad behavior hasn’t changed, and it won’t. I’m working through a few things, because my father’s narcissistic abuse has been lifelong. But, for the most part, it is what it is.
I wish that he, and his wife, would acknowledge their abuse and change, but they won’t. They’re forgiven by me, even though they accuse me of an unforgiving spirit. I just won’t put up with the bad behavior.
This is amazing and true
Great podcast being a Christian and forgiving dishonest behavior doesn't mean you need to be a doormat and keep taking bad treatment going forward.You can be kind and forgiving but you can still be careful.
I have wondered if I truly forgave and when he does it again and again.
Yes' well said. Sometimes I do feel like a pile of spaghetti. I really don't like being in that place. I feel like I have no control and I'm feeling very unstable. That when I am being tested and I have no where to go but down on my knees and to the Lord.
Very good stuff here. Thank you
So good Amen 🙏🏼
Been struggling with this for 3-1/2 years!!
Good morning
I would say forgiveness is not a blanket one time thing. There are many facets or aspects or nuances of a thing often leading to a forgiveness process or leading to forgiving another and another aspect. Frankly I couldn't see the whole thing at once or frankly I would have been overwhelmed if I realized all my offenses at once.
All the time and constantly reminding myself of my part
Their repeated offences and my lack of consequences.....
Thank You Kris! I was at the live, but came back and re-watched and took notes! Great Advice as Always! God Bless!
I'm so glad. Thanks for joining us Sherri Lynn
Yes,
Hi Kris, you said something in the past couple of days that I disagree with. You said if you’re on your way to the church praying all the way, (asking God to stop me if it wasn’t His will) to not proceed with the married. I made that decision and 36 years later, we’re very happy.
Yes it’s true. Thank you very much. Timely msg all the time
I found your channel very interesting...thnx! New subscriber here from the Philippines..❤️
How do you honor your mother for Mother’s Day when it is unsafe to engage with her?
Maybe send her a card? That way you don’t have to see her or talk to her. I’d do that if I could.
We repent, admit our sins, and are forgiven. What if the person you're having difficulty forgiving hasn't repented at all and doesn't think they did anything wrong, in fact, they may even be proud of being evil to others (narcissist)? We were forgiven because we repented ~ how do we forgive those who are completely unrepentant, not asking for forgiveness, and don't care at all about what evil things they did to us?
No you’re wrong read you’re bible we’re forgiven whilst we were still unrepentant sinners we MUST also do the same.