Do you have any French customs or cultural differences to share that we didn't mention in this video? We're sure there are many more that are, perhaps, not commonly known by foreigners.
Thank you for your reply. However I prefer to get my information from professional studies and specialists in the area as well as my own observation and interaction as I have throughout the last almost 50 years that I have lived in France. Fortunately I have retained my initial optimism from birth and a smile doesn't kill me. I work for myself (always have in France) but have always worked among the French not to mention many other nationalities and have had excellent relation with them because I never allow myself to get too close. One paragraph here especially made me think of KJ and Tony...eternal optimists (so much the better. But they have only visited France and don't speak the language, can't read the newspapers or understand a television debate or have a deep interaction with the French. That is why IMHO they need a warning of what is to come if they ever decide to permanently live in France. I have visited dozens of countries and lived in sever even for a short while and yes I could say the people were nice but I was only a visitor. "Research has shown that optimists experience less depression and anxiety, adapt better to negative events, don’t give up easily when the going gets tough, have healthier habits, tend to be more productive in the workplace and use better coping mechanisms (such as problem-solving coping, humour, seeking social and emotional support, positive reframing) than pessimists. Yet, in France the very notion of optimism is profoundly unsexy and even worse than that, stupid. So even if I site you all the sound research on how optimists fare better than pessimists on all counts, if all you imagine is a happy idiot, the science would go to waste. To hope is naïve, whereby to doubt everything is intellectual and chic. And even if this brings you down, you can always blame it on Voltaire." Don't know if you will take the time to read one article among thousands about this flea of French unhappiness but give it a try. It may enlighten you. www.positran.eu/the-french-unhappiness-paradox/
If I may as a French person: When we enter a business, a simple "bonjour" is not sufficient. One should always say "bonjour madame" or "bonjour monsieur" and leaving au revoir madame, au revoir monsieur. etc. Same when we buy something, and say " merci, we always follow it with merci madame or merci monsieur. etc. A simple bonjour, au revoir or merci, is not viewed as particularly polite. As for "ouais" it is extremely informal. As a child, I would have been corrected if I said "ouais" to my parents and detained in school if I ever said ouais to a teacher ( I am not that old :) Ouais is used between friends, siblings, cousins close in age, but never with authority figures and rarely by grown-ups and definitely not to people you don't know.
Bonjour Au restaurant , il est comme même bien venue de laisser un pourboire surtout si vous avez été satisfait En plus durant les vacances se sont beaucoup d'étudiants en hôtellerie qui travaillent comme serveurs pour se perfectionner Ils apprécient fortement se petit geste en fin de repas Bonne soirée 🤩🤩🤩
Tout à fait! Si on a particulièrement apprécié un repas, l'accueil et la qualité du service, libre à soi de laisser un pourboire. Rien de choquant non plus si on demande la note et que l'on règle le montant indiqué.
Je pense qu'ils ont mentionné cette différence car la culture du pourboire n'a rien à voir aux U.S. Aux U.S, le pourboire varie entre 18 et 25% du prix du produit (donc il est commun de laisser 15$ de pourboire dans certains restaurants par exemple!), et c'est quasiment systémtique car c'est la source de revenu principale des serveurs (c'est pour cela qu'ils sont toujours extrêment serviable et agréable avec els clients, parfois jusqu'à être intrusifs haha). En France, le pourboire n'est necessaire que si l'on a jugé le service vraiment super, et il ne dépasse rarement les quelques pièces. Mais les serveurs ne tirent pas leur revenu des pourboirs, ce qui est aussi la raison pour laquelle les serveurs français ont la réputation d'être "désagréables" comparé à ceux des U.S.
@@clarap4546 J'ai déjà diner aux USA , et il m'est arrivé d’être servi par des serveurs pas vraiment "extrêmement serviable et agréable" , ou pas professionnel ! Ensuite il est de plus en plus fréquent dans les villes touristiques de voir les gratuity de 20% inclus dans la note , parce que les touristes étrangers ne laissent rien. Maintenant dire que les serveurs français ont la réputation d’être désagréables, c'est comme dire que les français sont rudes ou impolis. Si ils le sont c'est parce que souvent la première interaction est mauvaise, (voir la vidéo ), notamment l'impolitesse des clients.
Hmm..I like their sense of non-invasion and personal space.But I would have a hard time saying anything on initial meeting because I'd be worried if I'm stepping in their space. We're just so casual here. Nice vid. Audio somewhat low/quiet.
Ice breaker talk about how nice the city is,the history of the place ,the local food specialty...plenty of positive things to make the French proud that you are interested. We are easily manipulated if you push the right buttons.😂
One more thing to consider not only in France, but anywhere in Europe is not to be loud in any public place. Try to talk with your inner voice. Loud speaking is not perceived well. To this day after having lived in the US for a long time some people sound very loud to me.
Interesting point.. try to watch a French (or German) news channel on TV in direct comparison to an USA version. On the US one you will find people shouting over each other all the time while Europeans tend to let the other person answer and in general are much softer spoken, even if the content can be as sharp and to the point as from a USA newsperson.
I want to tell you a little story about how life in France changed my eating habits. In the US when I was growing up I would not eat most fruits and most vegetables. This is the 60s and 70's folks. They had no taste...bland....When I got to France and married my first wife, her father had a small second house in the Loire et Cher. He was a child of the occupation, came from Dordogne and came from a peasant family and food for him had been a luxury when the Germans occupied France. So when I tasted French fruits and vegetables it was like discovery for me. Even the lettuce had taste and he would pour on the food. He had addresses in Champagne region where we could get a great Brut Champagne for 21 Francs. $4 a bottle (in the 70's). When we went to Provence we would buy cotes de Provence for 3 franc a bottle 50cents. And in the Loire et Cher we would go to the seasons and they would hand pick for the garden what you wanted. I felt so sorry for them as these were often the lady of the household in her 60s or 70s and her back was already out of whack. And the prices they asked for were so ridiculously low that I had petty on them. A kilo of beautiful strawberries for the equivalence of 50 its and she had to go pick them. White asparagus (specialty of the Loire et Cher a buck for a kilo. Goat cheese (cendré)...50 cts The food in the US has improved since but in the 70's it was tasteless but my real food education came from France. Also I would like to say that today most French women and families do their shopping once a week. Both members of the family work so there is no shopping every day for fresh produce and nobody cares what you wear. Just be yourself. The myth of the French woman shopping for the best French produce daily is just that as of our days and the making of a "festin".for dinners is long lost in history outside of holidays
You’ve nailed so many French cultural norms! Good observations. I’d add: 11- work/life balance is important (vacations are sacrosanct, generous leave policy, etc.) 12- strict separation of church and state (you don’t say you’re blessed or wish people a blessed day, God doesn’t come into conversations; basically you keep your beliefs to yourself) 13-family-oriented society and respect for elders (a lot of social life takes place within the family, and you give and receive support to and from family).
The strict separation of religion and state is not respected at all by the millions of muslim immigrants who are invading France and impose violently their sharia law and their fatwa.
Americans seem to hug just about anyone. First time meeting my boyfriend's mother she hugged me as though she had known me all her life. Same for his father! One after another I met aunts and cousins and all fell around my neck as though I was their long lost friend. Immediately they wanted to know my life story... I thought only my boyfriends family acted like that but I was wrong. And the words "I love you" seem to be thrown around quite liberally in America. Hugging has an hierarchy in France. Hugging ones mother or sister is different from hugging a friend. Hugging an uncle or cousin is different from hugging ones father or brother. Also, Americans seem to either wave, even when they are quite close, or hug. There is no hand shake which is very nice when meeting a new person. I find there is no culture in America.
As international flight attendants, we learned years ago that TIP originated with the idea that extra $$ would be "To Insure Promptness". Every country is different, and if you are ever asked for a "tip" in France on the bill or whatever, you can call the gendarme. If ever asked, it is out of the norm and illegal. We Americans should not try to ruin their culture by infusing ours. Just my thoughts. Thanks for addressing it!
If you "call the gendarme" because a waiter asked for a tip !? guess what will be the answer: 😅 Il's up to you to leave or not a tip. Now it is illegal to mark it on the bill.
I worked for two French families who were business owners in the U.S. The French are beyond private. Though polite, they are formal and distant with high expectations. Oh, and they are charming. Even a young man treats older women with respect and equality.
Dear KJ&T, thank you so much for your interest in France and French culture. I slightly disagree with the way you present the "French culture" paradigm. There is no continuous conscious "emphasis put on fashion and style." In fact, I realize, thanks to you, that elegance or "natural chic" is precisely the expression of this lack of emphasis-the absence of "effort" or "obsession" to look good. And yes, we might go to a grocery store in leisure wear and look anything but pretty 😊
The first advice I ever received when visiting France was to "stop smiling all the time, you look like an idiot." Now I've always considered myself an introvert but I try to be friendly and strike up a conversation, or at least smile and nod. In France, I just put on my resting face with no expression at all. No smile, no chit chat.
@@kjandtonylovefrance Yes, my sister loves to smile at strangers' kids and at their parents. In the U.S. that's just fine but I have to warn her and hold her back when she comes to France because that would be viewed as sooo creepy!
A big difference is how eg service staff are viewed in the US vs France, or other parts of Europe. Shopkeepers, idem. In Europe they're not your servants. So you greet properly and respectfully and "speak with two words" as my parents taught me.
KJ, I forgot to say that you are right. There are more than 1,000 kinds of cheese in France ! Charles De Gaulle, former président of France, once said : "how can anyone govern a country which has so many cheeses !"
Well, it is usually said there are as many kind of cheese in France as there are days in a year, then 365 at least. But there are more of them if you count the different varieties of the same kind of cheese. Concerning goat cheese, it comes in so many forms and tastes, crottin (dry), frais (fresh), bûche, etc.
Ou, ouais = yes, yeah. It can be considered quite disrespectful to say "ouais" even to people you know. A child saying "ouais" to his/her parent might be hauled up by their parents and expected to upgrade to a "oui".😊
KJ, I advise you to forget the "ouais" which is not very polite even with people that you know. Beside, if you see a French doctor, he will tell you which kind of cheese you can eat and which one to avoid.
Just a note, the dress can be more casual depending where you are. When I lived in Lille I did actually see a lot of people at the grocery store in leisure wear. So I was fine going out in yoga pants which was great. 😄 Lol at the over-ordering!! You technically can ask for a doggie bag because it's the law, but they might not have all the proper containers for everything (like a small one for the rest of the sauce), and depending on where you are you might get an eye roll. I would expand a bit more on your last one: talking about money is generally frowned upon (unless it's to complain about the SMIC lol). For example, in casual conversation in the U.S. it could be okay to mention how much you paid for your new bike or new boat. That would not be okay in France. Honestly even among close friends I think it's not super common. Lastly, I would ask a French doctor how much cheese you can have....I have a liver condition, and my American doctors pretty much told me "no alcohol". I asked my French doctor, and he said "Well I wouldn't have it every day." 😂And followed it up with "It would be a shame to pass up a nice pairing with a beautiful meal!" 😂😂
ESSENTIAL STANDARD: Paris is not France! That’s 2,000,000 people out of 67,000,000 French people. Never forget this. Otherwise, you understood French very well, well done! I hope you liked our country, despite its faults, there are some, you were courteous not to mention them, thank you. Finally, “YOU” and “THOU” are complicated, even for us sometimes. But if you make a mistake, no one will blame you in France, we know that this form does not exist in English.
I guess Americans say "yeah" maybe more easily and often than French people say "ouais", but not everyone consider it vulgar. It also depends on the tone and accentuation.
Doggie bags were introduced by law a few years ago. I didn't have time to finish my big salad at lunch today. I asked for a doggie bag and was able to walk away with what was one third of my meal.
Style and fashion... That's true up to a point. Yes, you seldom see people go shopping, or what would be even worse to the restaurant, in their gym attire or sweatpants. However, e.g. in summer there's nothing wrong nowadays going around in shorts and T-shirts, as long as they're clean and they don't look too "shabby".
Tipping is a lot more common in France than in the UK. Another norm not to forget is all month in january you say bonne annee to people you meet for the first time that month.
As a French person having lived outside of my country, I always take interest in your videos… Regarding tipping: its true that tipping in a French restaurant is not quite a common practice, at least not so much as it may have been in the past. Before the Euro currency was introduced (2002), people could afford to leave a few French coins as a tip, but this norm of tipping systematically disappeared with the Euro because the value of this currency is much higher than the Franc ever was)… About rules-setting: it is true that French people have a strong tendency to establish rules and norms, to enact laws, regulations, etc. BUT they are also very individualistic, in their own way: they like to question existing rules, criticize them and even in some cases not abide by them… Therefore, French attitudes towards rules can very ambiguous or contradictory! As about being polite: in France, you would expect others to be polite but you may sometimes not be polite yourself, it all depends on the context! For instance, in public transportation people tend to be very much aloof, minding their own business because they try escape (por ignore) possible micro-agressions that they may encounter in this public space. Of course this example particularly applies to Paris more than cities beyond the Paris region.
Hello, I am a bi-racial French Expat and have been living in the US for over a decade now since I married a US Citizen, I can say that it took me a while to adapt to the American culture and way of life which is so different than my french culture; and if I may, and just to demonstrate our Culture differences, We as a Frech People, "work to Live and not live to Work '' !! We have also planned to move back home in the short future and I am looking forward to it !! I wish you both a long and pleasant stay in my Homeland.
Glidings .. I'll call it street French. Just to be aware of what you hear on the street might sound strange and not match the textbooks! I can't tell you how many times I just wanted to stop with the French, learn Spanish, and move to Spain! Je ne suis pas allée” (I didn’t go) We would never say “Je NE swee pa zalay” In a formal environment we may say “jeun swee pa zalay” In everyday use, I would say “shui pa alay” But the upside is, just making an effort (even if somewhat strangling the language) is greatly appreciated. Don't be offended if your French interlocutor reverts to English (for sheer efficiency) 🤪
Thank you, Daniel. We appreciate the helpful feedback, and all your support and encouragement. Less than 2 weeks away now. We are so excited to be back in Paris!!
A very good list... we spent a lovely day shopping in Chambery and everyone was delightful as usual. Offering a polite hello, thank you and a farewell gets you a long way in France... I've learnt not to smile at everyone in the store though, they thought I was some kind of freaky guy. Everything in moderation, even cheese 🙂
Loved your video. If I had the means, I'd move there in a heartbeat. Somehow I have all those cultural norms instilled in me already. Europe is calling...
Nice video, one point to add. In conversations, arguments are mandatory, but there is always someone becoming devil's lawyer ... just a way to push into right argument ^_^ It doesn't mean devil's lawyer defend nor support this point of view, what he/she is saying, but it's needed to maintain a good level of discussion ;-) Don't be shocked ...
This is a very informative video. Intelligently delivered also. Thank you! Perhaps some day you might comment on how the French approach friendship and their attachment to rural life on vacation.
Glad you included the importance of tradition in France. As a professor, I once did a research study on international culture based on 'national values.' We gave hundreds of people in 4 different countries a list of possible values and asked which they felt most represented their national value. The Canadians chose 'equality,' Americans chose 'freedom,' Danes chose 'hygge' which has now become popular all over. But I assumed France would be the easiest because they would choose 'liberty, equality or fraternity.' Wrong! Overwhelmingly, they chose 'Tradition!' They even use it as a reason not to even try anything new: 'Ce n'est pas notre tradition!!'
In restaurants, tips are not included in the salary of waiters or waitresses. They generally have a fixed salary and are only too happy when they receive a tip! There is a collective agreement that employers have to follow in many areas and I believe there is one for those working in restaurants.
They haven't moved. They live in Florida. They are prospecting. Look where they're living now. Do you think they would be living in these kinds of digs in France.
Oui, la patrimoine est important. Please address the difference between types of eating establishments: restaurants, cafe's, bistros, continuous service vs. not continuous, and the concept of complet. It's not as if people cannot eat a hot meal at an indoor establishment before 7:30 PM. I know that you didn't say that but I don't want people to think that. Also, the fact that there are places which do not accept credit cards. Alas, with regard to the cheese (and perhaps also cream and milk). Lactose intolerance is lactose intolerance, if that is the issue; but, I wonder if the fresh food in France is easier to stomach (LOL). I don't know if there is enough lactase Natural Factors digestive enzyme supplement in the world to allow me to eat cheese again. KJ, you might time that consumption to not coincide with your return trip.
Yes, of course you are correct about the different establishments and the timing of dinner. We will point it out somewhere along the way. And yes, the food in France is much easier on my stomach, but I'm not even going to test it on this trip. I'm feeling too good to mess it up!
It's even more complicated than that : the first cheek and the number of kisses depend from the region and sometimes from the family. It's a mess also for us, French people...
You don't kiss anyone, it's for family, friends ( European meaning of friends, that's close friends)... Better to let the other initiate the move and then follow or not, since COVID we kiss even less.
Question: why are Americans always smiling? Answer: maybe because they’re happy Question: Why don’t the French smile? Answer: Maybe because they’re unhappy
Dear Riviera rocket, thank you so much for this important consideration about French people 🙂 You see, as a French man, I am lucky enough to have access to smiling emoji so as to express a sensation I never knew. One thing is certain however : maybe I am not smiling (I don't want to contradict you) but I try not to be judgemental - a thing you consider yourself entitled to be. Good for you. Good to know 🙂 (another smile) By the way, I had the pleasure to meet KJ, Tony and their son when they were in Paris, and I think we shared a good moment, and smiled a lot. As I am smiling now 🙂 (a new one for you) So, be happy ! That is the worst thing I can wish to you.
@@heliedecastanet1882 Merci de votre opinion. Mais oui! Pour qqn qui ne judge pas vous vous permettez de le faire en tournant votre réponse en "bon enfant" (Love dem emojis) En fait j'ai chouravé cette opinion d'un sociologue français. En plus mes 47 ans en France m'a permis de percevoir des traits de société dont même mes connaissances Français n'ont jamais remarqué. Pour des "day trippers" en France nulle doute ils ne le verront pas. Rechercher un peux (dans votre agenda certainement bien rempli) et vous verrais ce que les academics français ont à dire sur le sujet. merci quand même sieur pour vos "wishes" C'est la bonne reponse conditionné par tradition. Voici un lien pour vous démarrer dans votre quete. "Lorsqu'on les interroge sur leur état d'esprit actuel en leur demandant d'y appliquer des qualificatifs, les Français·es se démarquent nettement de leurs homologues allemand·es et britanniques. L'exception est à nouveau frappante: l'échantillon français place en tête des sentiments négatifs comme «méfiance», «lassitude», «morosité», alors que l'allemand et le britannique privilégient comme réponses «sérénité» et «bien-être». www.slate.fr/story/190929/grande-deprime-francais-exception-confiance-interpersonnelle-defiance-institutions
Hello Ludovic - Yes, we had such a lovely time. And you know what? I was thinking of you when I learned of this smiling thing. I thought, that nice man we met with in Paris did a lot of smiling and he grew up in Paris...lol. So nice to hear from you. I hope you are well.
@@kjandtonylovefrance I am very well ! Happy too to hear from you. I don't remember when you are supposed to come back, to speak the truth, but I guess it is quite soon, am I right ? Where do you plan to stay this time ? Did you chose a place ? Is everything settled for your arrival ? 🙂
Do you have any French customs or cultural differences to share that we didn't mention in this video? We're sure there are many more that are, perhaps, not commonly known by foreigners.
Thank you for your reply. However I prefer to get my information from professional studies and specialists in the area as well as my own observation and interaction as I have throughout the last almost 50 years that I have lived in France. Fortunately I have retained my initial optimism from birth and a smile doesn't kill me. I work for myself (always have in France) but have always worked among the French not to mention many other nationalities and have had excellent relation with them because I never allow myself to get too close.
One paragraph here especially made me think of KJ and Tony...eternal optimists (so much the better. But they have only visited France and don't speak the language, can't read the newspapers or understand a television debate or have a deep interaction with the French. That is why IMHO they need a warning of what is to come if they ever decide to permanently live in France. I have visited dozens of countries and lived in sever even for a short while and yes I could say the people were nice but I was only a visitor.
"Research has shown that optimists experience less depression and anxiety, adapt better to negative events, don’t give up easily when the going gets tough, have healthier habits, tend to be more productive in the workplace and use better coping mechanisms (such as problem-solving coping, humour, seeking social and emotional support, positive reframing) than pessimists. Yet, in France the very notion of optimism is profoundly unsexy and even worse than that, stupid. So even if I site you all the sound research on how optimists fare better than pessimists on all counts, if all you imagine is a happy idiot, the science would go to waste. To hope is naïve, whereby to doubt everything is intellectual and chic. And even if this brings you down, you can always blame it on Voltaire."
Don't know if you will take the time to read one article among thousands about this flea of French unhappiness but give it a try. It may enlighten you.
www.positran.eu/the-french-unhappiness-paradox/
If I may as a French person:
When we enter a business, a simple "bonjour" is not sufficient. One should always say "bonjour madame" or "bonjour monsieur" and leaving au revoir madame, au revoir monsieur. etc. Same when we buy something, and say " merci, we always follow it with merci madame or merci monsieur. etc. A simple bonjour, au revoir or merci, is not viewed as particularly polite.
As for "ouais" it is extremely informal. As a child, I would have been corrected if I said "ouais" to my parents and detained in school if I ever said ouais to a teacher ( I am not that old :) Ouais is used between friends, siblings, cousins close in age, but never with authority figures and rarely by grown-ups and definitely not to people you don't know.
Merci madame/monsieur (not sure which you are) 😊
I totally agree as a French person. Ouais is absolutey out of the question, using Madame et Monsieur is important. (Forget about the woke fad)
Yes perfectly true, ouais is just slang, like in US saying ya instead of yes.
Informative… Merci Beaucoup
You're welcome. Thank you for watching.
Bonjour
Au restaurant , il est comme même bien venue de laisser un pourboire surtout si vous avez été satisfait
En plus durant les vacances se sont beaucoup d'étudiants en hôtellerie qui travaillent comme serveurs pour se perfectionner
Ils apprécient fortement se petit geste en fin de repas
Bonne soirée 🤩🤩🤩
Tout à fait! Si on a particulièrement apprécié un repas, l'accueil et la qualité du service, libre à soi de laisser un pourboire. Rien de choquant non plus si on demande la note et que l'on règle le montant indiqué.
Thanks for the tip, no pun intended 😊
Je pense qu'ils ont mentionné cette différence car la culture du pourboire n'a rien à voir aux U.S. Aux U.S, le pourboire varie entre 18 et 25% du prix du produit (donc il est commun de laisser 15$ de pourboire dans certains restaurants par exemple!), et c'est quasiment systémtique car c'est la source de revenu principale des serveurs (c'est pour cela qu'ils sont toujours extrêment serviable et agréable avec els clients, parfois jusqu'à être intrusifs haha). En France, le pourboire n'est necessaire que si l'on a jugé le service vraiment super, et il ne dépasse rarement les quelques pièces. Mais les serveurs ne tirent pas leur revenu des pourboirs, ce qui est aussi la raison pour laquelle les serveurs français ont la réputation d'être "désagréables" comparé à ceux des U.S.
@@clarap4546 J'ai déjà diner aux USA , et il m'est arrivé d’être servi par des serveurs pas vraiment "extrêmement serviable et agréable" , ou pas professionnel !
Ensuite il est de plus en plus fréquent dans les villes touristiques de voir les gratuity de 20% inclus dans la note , parce que les touristes étrangers ne laissent rien.
Maintenant dire que les serveurs français ont la réputation d’être désagréables, c'est comme dire que les français sont rudes ou impolis. Si ils le sont c'est parce que souvent la première interaction est mauvaise, (voir la vidéo ), notamment l'impolitesse des clients.
Hmm..I like their sense of non-invasion and personal space.But I would have a hard time saying anything on initial meeting because I'd be worried if I'm stepping in their space. We're just so casual here. Nice vid. Audio somewhat low/quiet.
Thanks, Carol. A few others have mentioned the audio. I'll have to investigate.
Ice breaker talk about how nice the city is,the history of the place ,the local food specialty...plenty of positive things to make the French proud that you are interested. We are easily manipulated if you push the right buttons.😂
@georgeszurbach444 😂 Thanks for the advise! Seems that's what my ex said once...
One more thing to consider not only in France, but anywhere in Europe is not to be loud in any public place. Try to talk with your inner voice. Loud speaking is not perceived well.
To this day after having lived in the US for a long time some people sound very loud to me.
Thank you. We have heard this from many and have witnessed in action unfortunately 😕
don t worry for yourself .your voice are very soft .you both@@kjandtonylovefrance
Interesting point.. try to watch a French (or German) news channel on TV in direct comparison to an USA version. On the US one you will find people shouting over each other all the time while Europeans tend to let the other person answer and in general are much softer spoken, even if the content can be as sharp and to the point as from a USA newsperson.
I want to tell you a little story about how life in France changed my eating habits. In the US when I was growing up I would not eat most fruits and most vegetables. This is the 60s and 70's folks. They had no taste...bland....When I got to France and married my first wife, her father had a small second house in the Loire et Cher. He was a child of the occupation, came from Dordogne and came from a peasant family and food for him had been a luxury when the Germans occupied France. So when I tasted French fruits and vegetables it was like discovery for me. Even the lettuce had taste and he would pour on the food. He had addresses in Champagne region where we could get a great Brut Champagne for 21 Francs. $4 a bottle (in the 70's). When we went to Provence we would buy cotes de Provence for 3 franc a bottle 50cents. And in the Loire et Cher we would go to the seasons and they would hand pick for the garden what you wanted. I felt so sorry for them as these were often the lady of the household in her 60s or 70s and her back was already out of whack. And the prices they asked for were so ridiculously low that I had petty on them. A kilo of beautiful strawberries for the equivalence of 50 its and she had to go pick them. White asparagus (specialty of the Loire et Cher a buck for a kilo. Goat cheese (cendré)...50 cts The food in the US has improved since but in the 70's it was tasteless but my real food education came from France.
Also I would like to say that today most French women and families do their shopping once a week. Both members of the family work so there is no shopping every day for fresh produce and nobody cares what you wear. Just be yourself. The myth of the French woman shopping for the best French produce daily is just that as of our days and the making of a "festin".for dinners is long lost in history outside of holidays
Thank you so much for sharing. The food in France is definitely better than the food in the US.
You’ve nailed so many French cultural norms! Good observations. I’d add:
11- work/life balance is important (vacations are sacrosanct, generous leave policy, etc.)
12- strict separation of church and state (you don’t say you’re blessed or wish people a blessed day, God doesn’t come into conversations; basically you keep your beliefs to yourself)
13-family-oriented society and respect for elders (a lot of social life takes place within the family, and you give and receive support to and from family).
Thank you 😊
The strict separation of religion and state is not respected at all by the millions of muslim immigrants who are invading France and impose violently their sharia law and their fatwa.
without God no culture can be family oriented. It seems more of the farce. I do not think it is any more family oriented than anywhere else.
Americans seem to hug just about anyone. First time meeting my boyfriend's mother she hugged me as though she had known me all her life. Same for his father! One after another I met aunts and cousins and all fell around my neck as though I was their long lost friend.
Immediately they wanted to know my life story...
I thought only my boyfriends family acted like that but I was wrong. And the words "I love you" seem to be thrown around quite liberally in America.
Hugging has an hierarchy in France. Hugging ones mother or sister is different from hugging a friend. Hugging an uncle or cousin is different from hugging ones father or brother.
Also, Americans seem to either wave, even when they are quite close, or hug. There is no hand shake which is very nice when meeting a new person.
I find there is no culture in America.
As international flight attendants, we learned years ago that TIP originated with the idea that extra $$ would be "To Insure Promptness". Every country is different, and if you are ever asked for a "tip" in France on the bill or whatever, you can call the gendarme. If ever asked, it is out of the norm and illegal. We Americans should not try to ruin their culture by infusing ours. Just my thoughts. Thanks for addressing it!
Thank you for helping to inform us, Diane. Very much appreciate you 😊
If you "call the gendarme" because a waiter asked for a tip !? guess what will be the answer: 😅
Il's up to you to leave or not a tip.
Now it is illegal to mark it on the bill.
I worked for two French families who were business owners in the U.S. The French are beyond private. Though polite, they are formal and distant with high expectations. Oh, and they are charming. Even a young man treats older women with respect and equality.
Thank you for sharing your experience, Charlotte. We are truly French obsessed.
Dear KJ&T, thank you so much for your interest in France and French culture. I slightly disagree with the way you present the "French culture" paradigm. There is no continuous conscious "emphasis put on fashion and style." In fact, I realize, thanks to you, that elegance or "natural chic" is precisely the expression of this lack of emphasis-the absence of "effort" or "obsession" to look good. And yes, we might go to a grocery store in leisure wear and look anything but pretty 😊
The first advice I ever received when visiting France was to "stop smiling all the time, you look like an idiot." Now I've always considered myself an introvert but I try to be friendly and strike up a conversation, or at least smile and nod. In France, I just put on my resting face with no expression at all. No smile, no chit chat.
It's so counter to my personality, but I'm going to give it a try this trip...lol
@@kjandtonylovefrance Yes, my sister loves to smile at strangers' kids and at their parents. In the U.S. that's just fine but I have to warn her and hold her back when she comes to France because that would be viewed as sooo creepy!
A big difference is how eg service staff are viewed in the US vs France, or other parts of Europe. Shopkeepers, idem. In Europe they're not your servants. So you greet properly and respectfully and "speak with two words" as my parents taught me.
Sorry, but I find the volume of your videos very low. I turned everything to full but still strained my ears. Love your videos though
I had the same issue, volume was at full.i liked the content, that's always interesting.
Sorry about that. I'll have to look into it.
KJ, I forgot to say that you are right. There are more than 1,000 kinds of cheese in France ! Charles De Gaulle, former président of France, once said : "how can anyone govern a country which has so many cheeses !"
Love it 🥰
Well, it is usually said there are as many kind of cheese in France as there are days in a year, then 365 at least. But there are more of them if you count the different varieties of the same kind of cheese. Concerning goat cheese, it comes in so many forms and tastes, crottin (dry), frais (fresh), bûche, etc.
Ou, ouais = yes, yeah.
It can be considered quite disrespectful to say "ouais" even to people you know. A child saying "ouais" to his/her parent might be hauled up by their parents and expected to upgrade to a "oui".😊
Thanks for the clarification 👍
Faut pas exagérer quand même ! Don't push it too far! It really depends on families and contexts. In my family, people don't care about "ouais"!😉
I don't think these are specific French cultural norms. They are common in almost all European countries.
KJ, I advise you to forget the "ouais" which is not very polite even with people that you know. Beside, if you see a French doctor, he will tell you which kind of cheese you can eat and which one to avoid.
Oui, you are not the only one to advise us on this. We will stick with Oui!
Just a note, the dress can be more casual depending where you are. When I lived in Lille I did actually see a lot of people at the grocery store in leisure wear. So I was fine going out in yoga pants which was great. 😄
Lol at the over-ordering!! You technically can ask for a doggie bag because it's the law, but they might not have all the proper containers for everything (like a small one for the rest of the sauce), and depending on where you are you might get an eye roll.
I would expand a bit more on your last one: talking about money is generally frowned upon (unless it's to complain about the SMIC lol). For example, in casual conversation in the U.S. it could be okay to mention how much you paid for your new bike or new boat. That would not be okay in France. Honestly even among close friends I think it's not super common.
Lastly, I would ask a French doctor how much cheese you can have....I have a liver condition, and my American doctors pretty much told me "no alcohol". I asked my French doctor, and he said "Well I wouldn't have it every day." 😂And followed it up with "It would be a shame to pass up a nice pairing with a beautiful meal!" 😂😂
Thank you so much for all of this wonderful expanded information. I will certainly double check on the cheese 🧀
ESSENTIAL STANDARD: Paris is not France! That’s 2,000,000 people out of 67,000,000 French people. Never forget this.
Otherwise, you understood French very well, well done! I hope you liked our country, despite its faults, there are some, you were courteous not to mention them, thank you.
Finally, “YOU” and “THOU” are complicated, even for us sometimes. But if you make a mistake, no one will blame you in France, we know that this form does not exist in English.
True! Paris is not France and we are looking forward to exploring as much of France as we can.
Oui, ouais - same as Yes and yeah in English.
Thanks, Daniel. Makes sense!
Ouais, est un peu d'argot parisien
Non, Ouais is not yes. It is vulgar.
I guess Americans say "yeah" maybe more easily and often than French people say "ouais", but not everyone consider it vulgar. It also depends on the tone and accentuation.
Doggie bags were introduced by law a few years ago. I didn't have time to finish my big salad at lunch today. I asked for a doggie bag and was able to walk away with what was one third of my meal.
Good to know. Thanks, Nikki 👍
After living 18 years in France
The number 1 custom is tailgating 😆
☺️
Style and fashion... That's true up to a point. Yes, you seldom see people go shopping, or what would be even worse to the restaurant, in their gym attire or sweatpants. However, e.g. in summer there's nothing wrong nowadays going around in shorts and T-shirts, as long as they're clean and they don't look too "shabby".
Yes, makes sense. Thank you.
You guys are great I just love listening to your stories and escapades
Thank you. Glad you're enjoying the videos.
Tipping is a lot more common in France than in the UK. Another norm not to forget is all month in january you say bonne annee to people you meet for the first time that month.
Thank you ❤️
I kinda like the 🍷 wine habit! 💜
You're not alone 😊
As a French person having lived outside of my country, I always take interest in your videos…
Regarding tipping: its true that tipping in a French restaurant is not quite a common practice, at least not so much as it may have been in the past. Before the Euro currency was introduced (2002), people could afford to leave a few French coins as a tip, but this norm of tipping systematically disappeared with the Euro because the value of this currency is much higher than the Franc ever was)…
About rules-setting: it is true that French people have a strong tendency to establish rules and norms, to enact laws, regulations, etc. BUT they are also very individualistic, in their own way: they like to question existing rules, criticize them and even in some cases not abide by them… Therefore, French attitudes towards rules can very ambiguous or contradictory!
As about being polite: in France, you would expect others to be polite but you may sometimes not be polite yourself, it all depends on the context! For instance, in public transportation people tend to be very much aloof, minding their own business because they try escape (por ignore) possible micro-agressions that they may encounter in this public space. Of course this example particularly applies to Paris more than cities beyond the Paris region.
Thank you for this helpful insight ❤️
Well, micro-aggressions... not always that micro... it is becoming a huge issue, especially for women.
Very informative, thank you!
Glad it was helpful!
Hello, I am a bi-racial French Expat and have been living in the US for over a decade now since I married a US Citizen, I can say that it took me a while to adapt to the American culture and way of life which is so different than my french culture; and if I may, and just to demonstrate our Culture differences, We as a Frech People, "work to Live and not live to Work '' !! We have also planned to move back home in the short future and I am looking forward to it !! I wish you both a long and pleasant stay in my Homeland.
Thank you and good luck to you on your eventual move back to France!
Glidings .. I'll call it street French. Just to be aware of what you hear on the street might sound strange and not match the textbooks!
I can't tell you how many times I just wanted to stop with the French, learn Spanish, and move to Spain!
Je ne suis pas allée” (I didn’t go)
We would never say “Je NE swee pa zalay”
In a formal environment we may say “jeun swee pa zalay”
In everyday use, I would say “shui pa alay”
But the upside is, just making an effort (even if somewhat strangling the language) is greatly appreciated.
Don't be offended if your French interlocutor reverts to English (for sheer efficiency) 🤪
Thank you, Daniel. We appreciate the helpful feedback, and all your support and encouragement. Less than 2 weeks away now. We are so excited to be back in Paris!!
Thank you, Daniel. We appreciate you sharing your experience, as well as your support and encouragement.
Offended? I am relieved as my high school French from 50+ years ago has been lost. 😊
All great tips about French customers!
What a fun video today
Thanks and sorry to hear about your cheese issue
Glad you enjoyed it, and thank you 😊
Strange, people are having volume problems. The volume is more than sufficient for me but then again I’m on a Mac and IPhone. Could be a Windows issue
Not sure what the problem is because I don't think I did anything differently in the editing process.
A very good list... we spent a lovely day shopping in Chambery and everyone was delightful as usual. Offering a polite hello, thank you and a farewell gets you a long way in France... I've learnt not to smile at everyone in the store though, they thought I was some kind of freaky guy. Everything in moderation, even cheese 🙂
Glad you enjoyed Chambery. We are just learning about the smiling thing so we'll have to make adjustments on this trip. 😀
Loved your video. If I had the means, I'd move there in a heartbeat. Somehow I have all those cultural norms instilled in me already. Europe is calling...
Do it!
Vous avez compris la France.... merci 😁👌🐓
Please correct the spelling of Hierarchy.
oops, sorry about that 😬
Bonjour. I enjoyed this vlog and wished I had known many of these norms much earlier. I like the hair adjustments on both of you.
Thank you so much!
Nice video, one point to add. In conversations, arguments are mandatory, but there is always someone becoming devil's lawyer ... just a way to push into right argument ^_^ It doesn't mean devil's lawyer defend nor support this point of view, what he/she is saying, but it's needed to maintain a good level of discussion ;-) Don't be shocked ...
Thanks for the tip!
This is a very informative video. Intelligently delivered also. Thank you! Perhaps some day you might comment on how the French approach friendship and their attachment to rural life on vacation.
Glad you enjoyed it. Will try to remember to address what we know, which is limited at this point, but looking forward to learning more.
Merci KJ et Tony.
😊
Glad you included the importance of tradition in France. As a professor, I once did a research study on international culture based on 'national values.' We gave hundreds of people in 4 different countries a list of possible values and asked which they felt most represented their national value. The Canadians chose 'equality,' Americans chose 'freedom,' Danes chose 'hygge' which has now become popular all over. But I assumed France would be the easiest because they would choose 'liberty, equality or fraternity.' Wrong! Overwhelmingly, they chose 'Tradition!' They even use it as a reason not to even try anything new: 'Ce n'est pas notre tradition!!'
Wow! So interesting. Thank you for sharing. It definitely helps give insight into the true nature of French values.
This was fascinating! Thanks for sharing.
Bravo. Great cultural tips, you nailed it! 👏
Thank you! 😃
FYI, I couldn't hear this video at all. I had to turn on the close caption to follow along.
Sorry about that. A few others mentioned that as well. I must've made some sort of error while editing. I'll have to investigate.
Thanks very much great video
You're welcome!
In restaurants, tips are not included in the salary of waiters or waitresses. They generally have a fixed salary and are only too happy when they receive a tip! There is a collective agreement that employers have to follow in many areas and I believe there is one for those working in restaurants.
Except any tip they receive with be split equally among all of the employees along with the service charge.
I've heard differing reports on this.
Really nice couple. I'd love to know what motivated their move.
Thank you! Basically, we are obsessed with France 🇫🇷
They haven't moved. They live in Florida. They are prospecting. Look where they're living now. Do you think they would be living in these kinds of digs in France.
Thanks... Have a lovely day both...
You too!
I had a question ❓ Have you heard of ' Quai de bourbon? If so, could you do a video of it please? 🌻
We have not heard it. What is it?
@@kjandtonylovefrance I think a neighborhood with British roots?! 🤔
@@kjandtonylovefrance Quai de bourbon is a street of Ile Saint Louis in Paris. There are many old beautiful townhouses ! 😃
Oui, la patrimoine est important. Please address the difference between types of eating establishments: restaurants, cafe's, bistros, continuous service vs. not continuous, and the concept of complet. It's not as if people cannot eat a hot meal at an indoor establishment before 7:30 PM. I know that you didn't say that but I don't want people to think that. Also, the fact that there are places which do not accept credit cards. Alas, with regard to the cheese (and perhaps also cream and milk). Lactose intolerance is lactose intolerance, if that is the issue; but, I wonder if the fresh food in France is easier to stomach (LOL). I don't know if there is enough lactase Natural Factors digestive enzyme supplement in the world to allow me to eat cheese again. KJ, you might time that consumption to not coincide with your return trip.
Yes, of course you are correct about the different establishments and the timing of dinner. We will point it out somewhere along the way. And yes, the food in France is much easier on my stomach, but I'm not even going to test it on this trip. I'm feeling too good to mess it up!
Très vrai et très drôle!!😂
Glad you enjoyed 😊
But I can never remember if the kiss is left cheek first or right cheek first...
Left to left first.
It's even more complicated than that : the first cheek and the number of kisses depend from the region and sometimes from the family. It's a mess also for us, French people...
I think it depends on where you are?
That's what I thought.
You don't kiss anyone, it's for family, friends ( European meaning of friends, that's close friends)... Better to let the other initiate the move and then follow or not, since COVID we kiss even less.
Question: why are Americans always smiling?
Answer: maybe because they’re happy
Question: Why don’t the French smile?
Answer: Maybe because they’re unhappy
Dear Riviera rocket, thank you so much for this important consideration about French people 🙂 You see, as a French man, I am lucky enough to have access to smiling emoji so as to express a sensation I never knew.
One thing is certain however : maybe I am not smiling (I don't want to contradict you) but I try not to be judgemental - a thing you consider yourself entitled to be. Good for you. Good to know 🙂 (another smile)
By the way, I had the pleasure to meet KJ, Tony and their son when they were in Paris, and I think we shared a good moment, and smiled a lot. As I am smiling now 🙂 (a new one for you)
So, be happy ! That is the worst thing I can wish to you.
@@heliedecastanet1882 Merci de votre opinion. Mais oui! Pour qqn qui ne judge pas vous vous permettez de le faire en tournant votre réponse en "bon enfant" (Love dem emojis) En fait j'ai chouravé cette opinion d'un sociologue français. En plus mes 47 ans en France m'a permis de percevoir des traits de société dont même mes connaissances Français n'ont jamais remarqué. Pour des "day trippers" en France nulle doute ils ne le verront pas. Rechercher un peux (dans votre agenda certainement bien rempli) et vous verrais ce que les academics français ont à dire sur le sujet.
merci quand même sieur pour vos "wishes" C'est la bonne reponse conditionné par tradition.
Voici un lien pour vous démarrer dans votre quete.
"Lorsqu'on les interroge sur leur état d'esprit actuel en leur demandant d'y appliquer des qualificatifs, les Français·es se démarquent nettement de leurs homologues allemand·es et britanniques. L'exception est à nouveau frappante: l'échantillon français place en tête des sentiments négatifs comme «méfiance», «lassitude», «morosité», alors que l'allemand et le britannique privilégient comme réponses «sérénité» et «bien-être».
www.slate.fr/story/190929/grande-deprime-francais-exception-confiance-interpersonnelle-defiance-institutions
Oh no, I hope not.
Hello Ludovic - Yes, we had such a lovely time. And you know what? I was thinking of you when I learned of this smiling thing. I thought, that nice man we met with in Paris did a lot of smiling and he grew up in Paris...lol. So nice to hear from you. I hope you are well.
@@kjandtonylovefrance I am very well ! Happy too to hear from you. I don't remember when you are supposed to come back, to speak the truth, but I guess it is quite soon, am I right ? Where do you plan to stay this time ? Did you chose a place ? Is everything settled for your arrival ? 🙂