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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 มี.ค. 2023
- Special thanks to:
Arakawa Fushida for the voiceover
/ arakawa_ffxiv
skip skipperson for the glam idea
/ skipskipperson
Patreon: / benedict_g
Twitter: / benedict__g
Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/benedictg
#animation #ff14 #ffxiv
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POV: You're a Garlean Soldier in The Praetorium (pre rework)
*8 WoLs sprint past you and leave all of your comrades unharmed before disappearing into the teleporter
And they think they got lucky...
@SystemsReady i imagine a surviving garlean soldier just outside castrum meridianum watching ultima happening is like that one scene from cod mw's Aftermath mission
Yoshi-P got sadistic in the rework, you now HAVE to fight every single Garlean to advance.
@@Saihamaru geez, no wonder they are so scared of us. From their perspective they probably think WE did the Ultima attack.
@@SystemsReady*That one Garlean Solider coming out the bathroom* : "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!?!?
Garleans came between me and my tomestones, which ultimately comes between me and my glamour, their fate was sealed from the start.
Yup this is how i feel when i have to run the same dungeon for the tenth time and pray that the glam that i need, drops
A lalafel... with a Shrek glam... and the moogle staff. Truly the most terrifying being
SOMEBODY
@@jedahaw ONCE TOLD ME
@@OmegaEnvych THE WOL IS GONNA ROLL ME!
@@TarossBlackburn I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed.
@@Sabcy2 She was looking kind of dumb With her finger And her thumb Pointing at the Lalafell (oops too late) now she's dead...(trying to keep this on parody)
"Do not seek forgiveness, for it will not ease the burden. It weighs as it should."
My Warrior of Light doesn't need forgiveness for doing what was right.
Fray.
@@RicardoSantos-oz3uj Respect. Just did that quest finally!
The Eorzean Alliance: Can Garlean soldiers feel pain?
WoL: *GOD* *I hope so*
They kidnapped and tortured our friends after a bloody massacre at our home base. You bet I'm gonna go axe-crazy on their asses...
Hey, a Badger reference in the wild.
I really like the idea of the Warrior of Light being a Lalafell and striking fear into the hearts of men the world over despite barely being three foot tall. Especially if they're wearing a positively goofy outfit while doing it.
Lali-ho... Hope you are looking forward to the Lalafell uprising...
I believe its canon that Lalas are are exceedingly strong for their sized - they have very dense muscles which is why they can run and jump as high and fast as the other larger races. If a child sized being with the strength of a full grown Roe or Hroth came charging at you wouldnt you be scared?
You can actually do that. In Heavensward, if you return to the ARR sections of the game (most notably Mor Dhona), you can talk to some Crystal Braves members who are practically shitting themselves talking to you. They try to act tough, saying things like "You're not worth my time", but it's clear they're terrified of you.
And as for the comment above me about Lalafellin strength, I direct you to this video all the way from 1.0. (watch?v=4evYBUCmPTw&t=576s)
hello! i am a lalafell named sprite pepsi and im a tank too!
Max height lals are 3'2". Most lalas are min height: 2'10". Not *even* 3 foot tall.
"Woe betide the man who stands opposed to the Weapon of Light, for death will be his reward. Death for him and his kin and all that he holds dear." Lvl 70 drk quest
Also works as foreshadowing for the Werlyt side quests
When I first heard that quote, it just got me thinking, sometimes, we are just a weapon pointed at the enemy, and we don’t miss.
Just don't mess with the main char of a Mary Sue story or any other lazy written piece of plot armor fiction.
Those attacks on Garlean bases and armies are ALWAYS the biggest joke. They are simply unable to write anything beyond slaughtering a bandit camp.
@@miriamweller812 idk what 14 your playing but the plot armor the WoL gets isnt as powerful as you think lol
@@pastelaliens4634 It clearly is. The joke is, while you are an invincible murder hobo who solves everything with boring, scripted fights (what makes no sense = bad writing on its own), its not even done in some cool way.
WoL and his Mary Sue Scion buddies (just as immortal as the WoL with a ridiculous row of fake deaths) never even are what plan the antagonists got, since the also don't need any plan. It's all about just going in, because they obviously even know themselves, that they got plot armor and don't need to do anything else.
Take the oh so praised Shadowbringers (a giant shit show of a story actually, but the FF14 fan community will defend it with arms, legs and teeth without even able to name a single point that is good about it).
What plan was there to defeat fatty? None. You pull a mountain sized golem out of your ass, which then doesn't even fight, it solely acts as a stair way. You go up and punch the guy to death.
Emet Selch: an ultra wizard who can teleport at will, can teleport YOU at will, can create giant cities with whole monster armies, can obserever you the whole time without being seen himself, can appear and dissapear as he pleases and that faster than a flying arrow. He won, you were fucked, he could gain absolutely nothing from fighting you, still he does and just does not care to be killed, while he could easily avoid that. I had the hope that it was all fake, that this tenthousand year old mastermind just pushed you to become stronger so he could still follow that ominous other plan he never talked about, to save the first and the void by merging it with the source again, healing the planet further. Instead he was just retarded thanks to plot armor and you punch him to death as usual, because instead of nuking you without any chance, he just stand there and takes it for no reason at all.
Elidibus: the heart of Zodiark, the only reason anythign still exists and isn't consumed by the planet eating bird brain, in absolute contrats to Hitleryn, the planetera genocide monster, that ripped apart all life and tortured it for 10.000 years, with the clear plan to let all the shards just die, because, hell, what else should happen? And Plan B was to flee with the moon of the source anyway if not some plot armor Mary Sue comes and magically kills the planet eater ( you know, instead of having a whole planet of super wizards, who could easily find a way to fight it...) by, well, plot armor.
So Elidibus saw how his braindead friend 1 died for no reason (because hell, Square itself had ZERO clue in AAR and SB where their shitshow should go, so Lahabrea was just a cartoonishly evil ultra idiot without any clue, if you play the story again from the start, it makes even less sense...), then his not braindead but obviously for no reason retarded friend 2 died, so he gets the idea, that he should be retarded do, does absolute shit nothing and again is punched to death.
Oh, of course his retarded friend 2 comes up and saves your ass, because why not, makes no sense, but who the fuck cares.
"Remember we once lived" is that retarded sentence the fans cheer for.
Emet Selch says that to a brainded puppet that got zero clue about them, nor shows ANY interest in it.
You are told: hey, you were some super special guy back there, you know, of the actual real people, not that fucked up, slaughtered farce a single Super Hitler made out of everything and -one.
Reaction to that from WoL and Scion? NOTHING. They give a fuck.
"We only care about us! We die anyway in a few years and all the shards will collapse for sure, because they are bleeding out fractions of an actual real planet, but who cares about them? Fuck those guys! We want to stay the tortured fragments of life, we don't want to heal the world and hope for a future."
What was the thing the Mary Sue Cat told you the very first? Don't tell the people of the first the truth.
Yeah, I wonder why. Their planet followed the fate of every shard = collapsing and there is no chance that this will change, becaue a bleeding out fragment is a bleeding out fragment and when you look at what little bit was enough to collapse it, there is zero chance that this won't happen.
Imagine you told them, that they could get to a version of their planet that is not doomed to die. The lore of the world know about soles, about rebirth. So overall it's simply about that they would be reborn on the source - if not even just finding a way to bring those few survivors there via the CT for example. Not even starting to talk about the void, what overall wasn't even a try of the real people to kill it, the just hoped to heal their friend, Ultra Hitler had slaughtered and distorted. No talk about that as usual.
The FF14 story is as disgusting as boring bullshit. You play the braindead soldier of some magical Super Hitler who wants to keep the new "uberhumans" in power, instead of restoring the real world and stopping that hellish tyranny.
Imagine someone in the real world would 'solve' the problems by just slaughtering all humans and making them some kiny of short living, aggressive monkeys who die every few monthes, while all continents are ripped away from each other and all but one slowly dying out. That's what Hitleryn did and what you are just forced to accept in this game as absolutely fine and the right choice.
WoL: "You ever stop an think how weird our life is?"
Esteem choke slamming a dude
Avatar consuming souls
Inner Beast on a rampage
Blood Lilly casting ultima 2
Ardbert: "No, not really, why."
Inner Dragon jump stabbing?
Feo eating popcorn and cheering?
Grandpa Middy napping?
Random WoL playing Triple Triad with a Garlean soldier
My mom once saw me playing FF and said, "this game looks so much less violent than those war games you play!" Oh how wrong you were mother.
"Oh he's dying it a festive color!"
@@Veladus That's why everyone in the castle died. The water was too festive for them.
That 1 HP auto-attack really did them in
Oh dam I forgot black mage auto does 1 dmg
Venat: "All is excruciating pain. I breathe fire and torment.
I birth a world of suffering to mire and plague."
The WOL is the problem and then solution.
Nice
"One shudders to imagine what inhuman thoughts lie behind that mask... What dreams of chronic and sustained cruelty?"
(montage of brightly-lit, colourful exploration, punctuated with the Rak'Tika Greatwood Day theme)
@@Nehfarius The otomotone version of the Rak'tika theme tho.
That's why I always ignore enemies that don't automatically trigger when I do my unsynched dungeon runs for Khloe. Give them a choice.
No mercy for those fuckers in satasha
except for sastasha. I go out of my way to clear every single enemy in that dungeon. fuck those pirates.
Except those pirates in Sastasha, I always make sure to kill every last one of them.
nah blast them into oblivion
Then they lock the door on ya
WoL: "...welp, you made your choice, and ill make your graves..."
The set up to the WOL's entrance was just amazing LOL
Garlean Soldier: “Finally, a nice safe reassignment to the praetorium, gonna be nice to write back to the wife and kids now that things are looking up.”
WoLs: “Allow us to Introduce ourselves.”
I actually like that in EW you meet some Garleans that were there at Prae and they give you tons of hate for murdering their friends.
@@cailee9820 I mean, if they just let us through to the Ultima Weapon instead of charging at us when we just killed a whole bunch before them and then later are charging at them on a magitek suit of armor maybe their friends wouldn't have died. Also, they were guarding a super weapon to conquer the country they were invading.
@@cailee9820 An invasionary force was reading a superweapon to murderize everyone. I have no guilt.
@@writer_man5318 The WoL is well known among the Garleans as the Eikon-Slayer. A literal god-slaying murder machine on par with the legendary battle prowess of Zenos Yae Galvus. You'd think they'd have standing orders issued to never approach without explicit orders to the contrary, if only to maintain their manpower.
@@TheNCreid They did have orders to do so. But they choose to not leave their commander.
Sometimes I feel bad for all the people we as Warriors of Light murderized on our way to fight our true enemies.
Oh yeah we’re the bad guys from a different point of view.
Are we the baddies?
Bitches made Tataru cry, no mercy will be shown.
@@christopherramirez3003 They are the invading, brutally oppressive empire trying to make the superweapon to genocide us into submission when we literally did nothing to them expect oppose their violent expansion tbf
Don’t think they really get a “you’re the baddies actually” in this situation lol
Some people are just conscripts and others aren't as bad as the people we're angry at, true. But at the same time, these guys are part of a campaign to march on foreign land and violently conquer it, which doesn't usually allow room for consideration!
"Such devastation. I indented all of it."
I'm pretty sure that's a typo but it's also a fantastic pun so...I'll take that option 🤣
Had to read this in Elidibus's voice.
"I have my Indentation! Python will come back!"
This is literally how the Garleans sees us as when we went over to Garlemald to “help them”
I think one of the strongest points of Stormblood is that it shows how much of the Garlean Army are conscripts, natives from conquered territories who are coerced to fight, from being in the wrong place at the wrong time when the conscript gang arrives at their town, or to protect themselves or their families from extortion or worse. It could be that by that point most of the line troops you face are native levies, with Garleans serving in supervisory roles. And so most of the “garleans” you are wiping out are in fact non-Garleans who had no choice in the matter. You don’t even get to see their faces before killing them. War is hell.
It's a deliberate choice I think. Makes you see them as faceless enemies.
And we do meet a soldier in Garlemald who was there at the Praetorium. She saw us cut down a huge amount of her comrades without a second thought, and was terrified to see us again.
Sure this makes us look bad; but remember the door to the next section won't open while they're alive.
Blame the level designer lmao
Lol she’s a spellcaster, chose to walk up and auto-attack him to death. Absolute savage move.
the huge shadow shrinking down to a lalafell was just *chefs kiss*
There's one soldier in Endwalker who talks about being assigned to the Praetorium, and is utterly traumatized by your rampage there. I know the INTENT was that I'd suddenly feel guilty and be encouraged to think about things from the other side of the equation, but.... it did not work. As it was, I just kinda laughed and went, "Yeeeeaaaah, I butchered quite a few of you guys there! Goooood times..."
I just side-eyes my Xaela DRK.
"Yeeahh... that *was* me, wasn't it... 👉👈 listen, it wasn't entirely personal, your boss was a delusional asshat..."
i didn't feel any guilt i just smiled
I think I would awkwardness rather than soul crushing guilt after all the other stuff I would experience that would break a person multiple times over.
@@laerwenThat I knocked sense into by being so unstoppable that more crazed immortal lunatic did an ultimate moved that blasted sense into him.
The curse of Praetorium glams the most important detail you added. That dyed Mistbeard helm completes the PTSD.
I love playing Lala. The idea that a knee high dwarf with a punk attitude would drive fear in conquering armies, world ending anomalies, and eldritch horrors amuses me.
Reminds of when Quintus informs his men of who we are, and they step back in terror.
And there I am, a pink twintails Lalafell in with starting gear glam while grown men look like they're wetting themselves.
Both sad and hilarious at the same time.
But mostly, fantastically put together. Very well done!
I remember finding this one soldier in EW and she talks about how WoL killed her friends in Prae and I was like "yes, I killed your friends, very tragic. So how many eorzean 'savages' did you and your friends kill?"
Yeah. "Say that to Noraxia and all the others your friends brutally murdered in Waking Sands. Or maybe you wanna talk about the Eikon-powered superweapon of mass destruction your boss wanted to unleash onto Eorzea, but decided to use it in the middle of your own base?"
My warrior lala never stops running during Praetorium. Smol, fast and deadly.
Phallus sus Maximus, Squad Captain of the Garlean LXIX Battalion. Killed by a Catgirl Ninja wearing only a bra & underpants, a male Roe White Mage in spotted underwear, a Lalafel Black Mage dressed like Shrek with a Chocobo helmet, and a male Viera Dark Knight wearing pink Thavnarian dance dresses
MASTERPIECE, YOUR BEST WORK YET
wait till the lala gets to "that" endwalker's solo duty
I remember getting to it and thinking "this has to be HILARIOUS if you're a lala with a goofy glam"
@@Veladus And then it wasn't hilarious, but traumatizing. Even as a lala.
@@Veladus Zenos vs Tataru is a video that is absolute perfection.
Yoshi: "The Moogle Treasure Trove Event is live"
Garlemald: *(Goddammit)*
0:35 - At this point the warrior saw me- I knew it was all ogre.
Lmfao how the Final Days music crescendo'd as the Lalafell of Light look up at their moogle staff, as if it was this doomsday device and ultimate weapon XD
Don’t mess with Lalafells, man. They’ll fuck you up if you give them a reason.
No, we don't even need a reason to.
"Existing" is a legitimate reason.
The funny thing is, old praetorium in particular demonstrated just how far players will go to avoid fighting any enemy they don't have to.
Those teleporters lol
That's when PC players figured out mashing 0 on the NumPad with NumLock on can quick activate and accept the teleporter prompts. I used to relish in surviving and escaping the really huge pull as a tank because that was fast enough to get the teleport off even when under fire.
We found it
The highest quality of shitposting. The animation. The costume
14/10
LMFAO the slow head turn timed with the music. You could've ended the video there and it still would be perfect.
omg yesssss I love the POV. Nice touch with the moogle weapon animation!
I can see how they were persuaded the unstoppable mass murdering clown was a bad thing.
Oh no, we're Kefka
@@TheRhythym No, that is was still their leader
the hit at the end should have a squeak sound because everybody knows that Moogles are really fluffy 😂
I just finished talking to the NPCs in Tertium and this animation hits so much harder now.
As a Lala I approve this. I hadn't such a chuckle in some time
Blooody Tater!!! :P :P
Also remember that that Lalafell has to visit Praetorium at least once everyday.
EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
Got get those sweet juicy tomestones in MSQ roulette
I'll also accept the title "why I play a Lala" 🥔
The Chad Lvl 90 Lala Blackmage vs the Virgin Lvl 50 Crippled Garlic Bread Soldier
Garleans effed around, and I’m the Warrior of Finding Out.
Anybody who fights the WoL: Who!?...What are you?!
WoL: *Smiling* Somebody with brain damage and poor impulse control.
I'm HOWLING. I was wondering what the video was going to be when you asked for cursed mogs and this is a 10/10. XDXD
As of Endwalker, its canon that Imperial survivors of The Praetorium have PTSD of your character and even those that serve in different Legions have heard enough horror stories that they'll always have second thoughts on fighting you even if they have the advantage
Quintus: "The champion of Eorzea will not be so easily cowed."
Garleans when realization sets in: [backing away carefully in terror from a Lalafell]
Lalafells truly get the best cutscenes.
Moments like this are why I started a min-height Lalafell monk- a little pink wad of bubble gum ripping apart eikons and empires with her bare hands.
The Warrior of Light dresses silly but I’d run away from most anyone, even Lalafells, if they are armed and running after me. You think Pipin is cute? He is, but he’s probably scary if he’s after your head!
P.S. The title of this video made me remember the last time I ran Praetorium. I was a Sage decked in the Tower of Babil healer set.
The fucking Lalafell run. He didn't stand a chance jesus.
Accurate. The fact is, to our opponents we're this unstoppable juggernaut of death and destruction that dodges almost everything big and barely gets scratched by things that aren't. Gods, dragons, and armies are no impediment to our inexorable march forward, all that stands in our way are rent to pieces, burnt to ashes.
And even when we don't dodge it because it's too big, we're still somehow always fine. Remember how Thordon just *completely fucking lost it* after WoL tanks Ultimate End?
@@Veladus lmao yea he was like "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU" at the end before dying 😅
@@Veladus "What are you?!" I'm your worst nightmare, seven times rejoined. Mwahaha.
Which is a theme they play on and show you in EW with the solo duty where you have to take control of a regular Garlean soldier. It really goes far to highlight just how insane OP the WoL truly is. I really liked that duty for that.
Garlean soldier: I got away!
Lahabrea: amd I took that personally.
This gives me the " Get out of my swamp" vibes
i love this, im just thinking how it would be if it was a higher level dungeon or something like the boss can just hear in the distance his mobs he put for defence get wall to wall pulled and destroyed
We are like Homelander in that game...
Reminds me of one of the dialogue choices the WoL has with the Ananta. "Know that I'll kill your god if I have to. Maybe even if I don't."
This actually hits home when you do the side quests in *spoiler* because you actually talk to some who knew someone or was there.
Isn't that MSQ? for 6.0
@@naoko3749 yes, it’s nice that it’s brought up the destruction you have done against the people.
Lala's got them "do you bleed?" vibes.
"The day the warrior of light attacked the praetorium was the most horrifying experience of your life... but for me it was daily reset"
-Warrior of Light
The silence and choice of music was 👍 great work!
As a fellow lalafell, the moggle weapon is really relatable.
The WoL PoV is casually murdering soldiers in Praetorium for the 50 tomes of causality while singing Payphone with the discord boys. The quality of your productions going up and up btw! Bang on!
This is beautiful.
ILU and your works. ;w;
The way the other soldier just poofed into ash where they stood. Absolute perfection.
XD That glam terrifies me, and the moogle wand finally realizes it's true potential! Phys damage.
This was so fucking cinematic I love it
One shudders to imagine what inhuman thoughts lie behind that mask... what dreams of chronic and sustained cruelty.
You’ve outdone yourself yet again, this is excellent lmfao
This was fucking terrifying. Well done!
That moment when the Background music changes with Latin Lyrics you know its your funeral song :')
Even more relevant with a new tombstone event on the horizon
You're crawling out of the wreckage in a bid to preserve your own life, and the last thing you see is a lalafel with a stupid mask and a Mogstaff.
I felt the freaking fear in this. The world around you falling to shit, your life flashing before your eyes... And the one dealing the final blow is a third of your height...
Look who's small now.
Well, they barged into the Waking Sands, killed everyone in it, and kidnapped our leader to do weird experiments on her.
Can't let Rhalger do all of the work.
I've never been more terrified of the Lalafel run.
That was a perfect cut.
"Twelve have mercy on my foes, as I have none to spare."
They got off easy they were just knocked out instead of blown up by a fireball
This takes place in the Praetorium, being knocked out here could be the death of them.
Then Ultima goes off
My GOD the goofy little lala walk.
Imagine getting beat to death with a moogle staff.
this actually gave me chills 😭
Not fair, the lala was running solo and unsynced. lol XD
Get rekt, kupo!
라라펠 거절 감표, 모글리 스태프, 귀여운 기합소리
빛전 내는 소리 하나하나 개킹받네 ㅋㅋ
You know, this really hits different after talking with that Garlean lady from the Endwalker..
Such a wonderful recreated scene reference from the beginning of MGSV! I loved it! MGSV cinematics in this game would be amazing! *----* ❤
Maybe the Garleans were right about us
I mean they ARE the invading empire who slaughters anyone who opposes them, and are also creating a superweapon to genocide us - at this point they brought it on themselves lmao
Nah, they were still the monsters
Both sides have their faults.
But it was a bad move on the Garleans part to invade when the WoL was there.
Considering how many of them were conscripted soldiers from captured territories... yeah maybe they were
@@naoko3749 Dude, they're still being compliant in an invasion of other nations after theirs. Plus we are charging forward after felling primals and the outer castrum plus later on with a magitek reaper. At some point maybe they should have thought to just let us by and recognize that we just refuse to be conquered.
Like how do you feel when you see WOL just destroys every bot and soldier clean like butter without even sweating?
in my headcanon there's totally garlean propaganda posters depicting my bearded lala as the Mad Brute from WW1
I like how endwalker acknowledges this lol
Nameless Soldier : Curse you Warrior of Light!!! You never know how we suffer as GARLEAN SOLDIER!!!!!
Few expansion later
WoL : Ah shit
More like....oh, well...is that a new mount that i'm seeing??
Potato be like: nothing personal kid, is just my daily rulet.
Everything's chill in the empire until the sprout party comes knocking.
I had a Garlean character and was in one of my servers Garlean FCs once upon a time.
One of my FC mates played up seeing the WoL once on one of their deployments.
They did a good job of rping severe PTSD and talked about a lot of the canon Garlean dungeons from the Garlean PoV
To quote a canon dialogue option: “Finally! It’s beating time!”
For those who remember the old way Praetorium was designed, you had that one soldier that wouldn't chase you after defeating the colossus as the group was speed running; this totally has that vibe, since you ran into them later when riding the reapers and just had 8 WoL all launching their cannons at him. We will remember you unnamed soldier 4782.
*wakes up* "Ah, you're finally awake...trying to cross the border?"
i enjoyed every moment of carnage
Nooo! Bob had only two days to retirement! You don't understand, he was a conscript from Ala Mhigo! Now his wife and child are alone in the world and Bob's son has now sworn revenge upon thee! Just wait a couple expansions, it'll happen! Twelve forefend!
(you know, in old Praetorium, there were a couple garlean soldiers when you're in the mech area... They would sometimes get killed by the party, sometimes not. In my many Prae runs, I always targeted "Bob" and made up stories about him. Whenever the party would kill him, I would tell the above story.)