Dang this hits hard. I’m crying because this exactly how I’ve felt for so many years. Thank you Citizen Soldier for giving those of us who feel our voices unheard an amazing platform where we no longer feel so alone.
I agree, I’ve felt the same way for many years. Although my Dog and Family always help me out in my really tough times. Remember, you always have something positive around, or with you.
"Love is a lie, hope is a hole, hatred is home, It's a part of me I can't let go" This hit me to my core. I use IFS therapy for my abandonment and CPTSD. This is the only song in existence that describes it so accurately. Thank you Jake!
@@magnarcreed3801The IP seems to identify with their trauma as a status symbol. Or else they would never have posted such a thing. It could be a coping mechanism, or perhaps they seek attention. You or I cannot know. Therapy can be useful in certain circumstances, but not those in which "trust" is prerequisite. People always believe they understand, and they never actually do. I recommend reading into the subject of psychology for yourself. That requires trust in no one. There is a fraction of psychologists (I estimate 0.05%?) who have a reasonable understanding of human nature, and that is what you should look for: not people who seek to tell you who you are and what your problem is, but people who seem to be capable of understanding the big picture, and whose insights you can learn from and incorporate (not wholesale, but *meritically* (meritical: of a process based on merit)) into your own perspective. My own personal opinion, is that therapy is largely hopeless. Have you seen some of the imbeciles out there with a psychology degree? How could you trust that you are getting a serious psychologist as your therapist? You shouldn't. Start by reading about psychology (I suggest books as opposed to articles) and perhaps, from there, if necessary, you can find the particular "type" of therapy and therapist that would actually be helpful for you.
@@ericfarina3935 you have no idea how...amazing and dumbfounding your view is to me. I struggle since 4 years to find help and even ended up in hospital from serotonin toxicity and took a break from trying for several months. And new psychiatrist still looks into documentation from 3 years ago and still wants to describe SSRI again,which just during first week gave me almost same symptoms. I told him why I gave up or got my meds changed so often. And after I told my last psychologist suggested me I might have ADHD and I said I felt validated in my self-diagnosis which I kept to myself. He...doesn't feel to understand. Oh,and I got here on YT thanks to RSD.
@ericfarina3935 why is understanding is so necessery and given so much importance? A dockter deosn't need to know how a cut feels but rather how to treat it sure it helps and with du consideration ofof how the person feels (enough pain medikation/mitigation). (Until It Happens To You from Sasha Sloan sums that up. will it is niche to find relatabel music, advice and so on,and its upsetting becouse of that. its not based on hypotheticals) don't know waht to do with this part. and isen't having epathy/ social stuff and securty no matter how warented withaut trust not good for the inside if you have the biolagical inclanation for that?
@@somtheorywent crosseyed towards the end there. A doctor doesn’t need to know how a cut feels because it’s a physical issue and you can SEE what’s wrong. When it comes to a person’s mental and emotional troubles, you do have to understand the problem unless you’re just gonna prescribe medication and turn the person into an addict. Shit happens all the time in my family. They go through trauma, go to a therapist, get prescribes some medication that numbs them to the feeling, they get addicted, then they move on to other shit.
As someone who's struggling a lot with abandonment issues and always feels like I'm not enough, this really hit the spot. Songs like that really make me feel like I'm not the only one feeling this way, you help me feel less alone. Keep up the amazing work, you guys are really awesome ❤️
"Love is a lie Hope is a hole Trust is the trap that took my soul Family is fake Hatred is home Getting abandoned is all I've know" Even with my intense anxiety, the first time I heard these lines I thought "Oh, that's awful!" Until I realized "Oh wait, it's what I constantly tell myself, anyway". Always telling myself not to be hopeful, and to stop searching for those things that might bring me happiness because they'll all just go away. So many friends faded away. So many sweet things turned into sour things by one sentence. Hating myself is all I've known, anyway, and joyful things can't stay because of that. It's kinda sad, having such awful things actually be my life. Don't worry, I see the good, I do, but I think it makes me feel better seeing the good things as nothing big
You are not alone with this. But the more you tell yourself that the worse it will get. So, try something new be ambitious and whatever you do never stop fighting
Ppl dont understand the edge of being ok and not, constantly, i hear you with your anxiety. You really are not alone in this fight. Keep it together☯️🤘🏽
This song has punched through my heart and straight to my soul! The raw emotion behind each lyric is so powerful, this is a song to help the hurt and fight the battle at the same time.
I have lost track of how many times I've listened to this song since the day it debuted, and this last weekend I finally felt strong enough to tell my wife this is how I feel. Not due to her, but from how I was raised and how my dad treated me, and still does to this day. I finally feel strong enough to tell him how I feel, and will no longer tolerate the way I've been treated. Thank you Citizens Solider for making this song.
I have been fighting BPD for two years now. Your songs always hit differently, especially the first verse: "Pull you in, push you away It's how I say: “I'm a little unstable” Emotionless like a machine Can't feel a thing with short circuits in my cables" It really touches my soul!
Keep fighting, hang in there. Been fighting since 16, diagnosed since 18, it's shit, it's an insane struggle, but it does get better just that little bit every so often, and eventually it's manageable. I'm soon 25 now, still alive, contrary to what I had used to hope for when I was young.
OMG ME TOO! It's so hard it like idk what I want most of the time and it stresses me out :'0 was diagnosed when I was 21, I'm 23 now but I'm getting better! Hope you are too!/g
As always, the lyrics hit hard and not in a bad way. Putting words to feelings that were previously unable to be explained, letting people know that they're not the only ones who are in that dark place, and that they're no longer suffering in silence Keep on rocking, Citizen Soldier
I love this song! It just preaches how when you've been abonanded and betrayed by everyone you've ever loved or trusted. You just fill with hatered. At others for betraying you and yourself for having failed, making them leave. The back and forth between blaming yourself and others ending in you, knowing that "love is a lie, hope is a hole," and "hatred is home."
this song just explained me.. sadly. crying to this song now i hate how relatable this is to me.. especially the part where it says "i have tried to be perfect" words cant explain how much i relate..
First song that hits every fiber of frustration an despair felt when losing and trying and losing again holding to what little strength one has left just to take one breath just to keep going almost without hope, alone, forgotten and broken.
"Memories of times I was not enough to make the ones I need most just wanna stay" I've been saying that forever. I don't want someone to stay because I made them. I want them to stay because they want to stay with me
This song hit me big time. Has all the feelings I can never explain. Thanks Citizen Soldier. Your music has gotten me through some really tough times and still does.❤
I love that you make soft, uplifting songs, and then there's ones like this that acknowledge the intense emotions that trauma and/or mental illness makes you go through. Intrusive thoughts, emotional Dysregulation, etc. Most of us can relate to at least one part of this song, so thank you for helping us feel heard. ;
Was able to see them in concert one of the most down to earth. People I've ever had the privilege to speak with. He waited for the long line of people and spoke with everyone of them. And made you feel good enough.
I've felt this way for as long as I can remember. For all 21 years of my life I never knew how to say it quite right, but here it is, my feelings laid bare before me.
This is easily every girl at the facility I work at. They all have so much trauma despite being so young. I hope they can grow to have your strength and can learn to rise above their trials as you have. Thank you as always for your powerful and poignant musical masterpieces
I’m currently watching every citizen soldier video that they have. My life is currently crumbling down around me. I lost my insurance, my dads truck broke down, now my brother is in the ICU after a major car accident. I’m not sure what else can go wrong at this point. Listening to this band always makes me feel a little bit better to know that I’m not the only one struggling with tough stuff. Having no friends also does not help.
It's hard to escape the pull of hatred, when all you see is betrayal all around you. No matter how kind a soul begins.. this world will constantly try to corrupt it. I've come to believe.
If only more unaffected people could understand or empathize with the chaos inside our abused minds! I am so very sorry you experienced this @CitizenSoldier and everyone else whom this rings true for. Realizing you are not alone is both comforting AND disturbing. Much love and hugs to you all. 💙
My therapist is always so impressed by my ability to articulate my emotions on paper. I'd like to think it's because of you guys that I'm so in touch with myself now... more than i ever was 4 years ago when i found you all. As someone who struggles with self inflicted trauma and trauma dealt to myself by others, it truly is hard to unlearn the negative core beliefs that become a part of your being through such experiences. Much love to the band and everyone that's struggling in their own battles. Keep fighting, it's not a wasted effort... make the changes you need in your environment so you can begin working on finding yourself again and combat the negative with the positive, even if you don't believe in what you tell yourself. Undoing the negative core beliefs and radically accepting your past is the hardest parts of healing but you can do it! I believe in you ❤
LYRICS HERE Pull you in, push you away That's how I say I'm a little unstable Emotionless, like a machine Can't feel a thing with short circuits in my cables A brain built by every memory Of times I was not enough to make The ones I need most just wanna stay What's wrong with me? Love is a lie, hope is a hole Trust is the trap that took my soul Family is fake, hatred is home Getting abandoned is all I've known I have tried, I have tried to be perfect But I believe, I believe I deserve it I have tried, I have tried to unlearn it But I am wired, I am wired for worthless (worthless) Wired for worthless (worthless) Every act of kindness, every word of praise Makes the system malfunction Only hear the negative 'cause each mistake Is what feeds the combustion A brain built by every memory Of times I was vulnerable in vain That just proved I'm never worth the pain What's wrong with me? Love is a lie, hope is a hole Trust is the trap that took my soul Family is fake, hatred is home Getting abandoned is all I've known I have tried, I have tried to be perfect But I believe, I believe I deserve it I have tried, I have tried to unlearn it But I am wired, I am wired for worthless Less Love is a lie Hope is a hole Hatred is home It's a part of me that I can't let go I have tried, I have tried to be perfect But I believe, I believe I deserve it I have tried, I have tried to unlearn it But I am wired, I'm wired for worthless Less Wired for worthless (less)
2 weeks passed and I'm still playing this non-stop. The fact that someone so amazing can put my emotions in words, is why I feel so much better. Also listening to songs from Citizen Soldier is like having a therapy, it's because they are those rare, understanding and amazing people you just want to cherish with your whole heart
This is definitely one of my favorites. I love the lines “Getting abandoned is all I’ve known. I have tried I have tried to be perfect but I believe I believe I deserve it.” My self-deprecating thoughts get to me every once and a while and that is exactly how I feel.
Learned a few weeks ago that a close friend suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder, which lines up with a lot of the stuff mentioned in this song. Just shared it with them and they really appreciated it.
I loved this tarck, I was surprised all the way! The work on the instrumentation is phenomenal, I'm so happy to have discovered this music 🫶 And the message as often touches me personally even if I'm much better since the first time I listened to your music! Thanks again Matthew, Kyle, Jake, Wonita, Kooper and everyone who works with you🪄
You guys will probably never see this comment. But I just want to say you guys are my comfort music. If I’m getting really down I come listen to your music and it helps me not feel so alone. Thank you ❤
"Love is a lie" is the line that spoke to me the most, having loved ones not truly care hit me hard... all i can ever say is, thank you for all your music
Got to listen to it on Apple Music. Many of your songs have left me speechless, this one included. God almighty, you guys knocked it out of the park with this one!! I loved the pauses between ‘worth’ and ‘less’, and I especially loved that bridge!! Those first notes in the bridge reminded me so much of the bridge in Red’s Breathe Into Me and I was instantly hit with intense nostalgia! I absolutely loved it!! Amazing work, all of you! Can’t wait for more!!! ❤️🖤❤️🤘
I don’t know how you did it, but you managed to put into words how I feel as a person with BPD. I think this is one of your hardest-hitting songs for me. Thank you for spreading awareness and encouragement through your music. This song freaking slaps! ❤
Love is a lie Hope is a hole Trust is a trap that took my soul Family is fake Hatred is home Getting abandoned is all I’ve known... This hit me so hard cause I feel that. Love this song. Awesome job!
After so long this masterpiece has released and “I have tried I have tried to be perfect” has to be one of the best verses alongside monster made of memories
As someone with BPD, this really hit hard. Thank you for releasing this, it helped me to explain to people what it is like when I have a "flare". You guys are amazing, keep up the amazing work.
Just because someone is "wired for worthless"doesnt have to be bad I think as someone who is rewiring themselves change it by replacing worthless with Priceless cause your beautiful soul is priceless
As much as I listen to a lot of music which I still do. This song sounds so good because not only that I saw shorts of it but I can't remember when. This is the best song by far for anyone. Good Job Citizen Soldier!❤
This is my favorite song yet! I come from a very broken home. Im 19 and wish to be normal. I am completely dependent on my Mom financially. I cant hold a job for more than a few months and this song describes my everyday life. I love your music. I listen to it every night to fall asleep
This songs speaks to me like if it knew my struggles. Truly a masterpiece and a absolute banger at that! Thank you to the artist Citizen Soldier for creating this song. 🙏
Always find myself listening to your music in a time of crisis. This is how I've felt for a long time. Makes me realize I am not alone. You're truly amazing for what you do.
Reminds me of 2000’s Shinedown, theory of a deadman, 3 days Grace, etc.. All my favorite music, I’ve never fallen in love with a band so quickly!! ESPECIALLY newer artists, you guys are awesome!
It finally dropped!! We've waited so long and it's been so worth it. You guys do such an important thing with your songs. Keep it up Citizen Soldier! You are doing amazing! ❤
Wow. I didn't plan on crying today from being told how my brain was wired... I think I needed this. A lot. Thank you for another great song, it's been a while since I was able to cry. So thank you again!
Перевод [1куплет] Притянуть тебя, оттолкнуть тебя Мой способ сказать "я немного нестабилен" Безэмоционален, как машина Ничего не чувствую из из-за коротких замыканий в моих кабелях. [Бридж] Мозг, выстроен воспоминаниями О каждом разе когда меня было недостаточно для того Что бы самый дорогой мне человек захотел остаться Что со мной не так? Любовь - ложь Надежда - дыра Доверие - ловушка что забрала мою душу Семья - фальшь Ненависть - дом Быть покинутым - все что я знаю. Я пытался, я пытался быть идеальным, Но я верю, я верю что заслужил это. Я пытался, пытался отучиться от этого Но я запрограммирован на бесполезность. [2куплет] Каждый акт доброты, каждое слово похвалы Делает систему неисправной Слышу только негатив, ведь каждая ошибка Это то что питает моё выгорание Мозг выстроенный воспоминаниями Каждого случая когда напрасно был уязвимым Это лишь доказало что я не стою этой боли. Что со мной не так? [Припев] Любовь - ложь Надежда - дыра Доверие - ловушка что забрала мою душу Семья - фальшь Ненависть - дом Быть покинутым - все что я знаю. Я пытался, я пытался быть идеальным, Но я верю, я верю что заслужил это. Я пытался, пытался отучиться от этого Но я запрограммирован на бесполезность. (Сначала он I am wired for worth что можно перевести как "настроен чего то стоить" но следом добавляется less что превращает worth - быть значимым/чего то стоить в worthless - бесполезный/никчемный)
Огромное спасибо за это) Будучи человеком, на всякий случай проверяющим переводы нравящихся композиций, очень рада увидеть таковой практически сразу после прослушивания
In all honesty, this song and "My Own Miracle" describe me to a tee. I did send both of them to a friend saying, "These songs are me to a tee." I love how real your songs are, so keep up the good work!!
The reason I listen to this band because i'm hurting inside because my crush has a crush on another guy and I have to be proud of her even though I am hurting inside and just act happy all the time while nobody knows that i'm hurting.
Been waiting for months for this song to come out. Yet another song that states EXACTLY how I've felt since 14 years old. Thank you again Citizen Soldier for another great song. ❤️🔥❤️🔥
„I‘ve tried to be perfect but I believe I deserve it. I’ve tried to unlearn it but I am wired for worthless“ this hits hard… nothing has ever explained it better how I‘m feeling inside
How my last relationship made me feel when she called off the engagement after we were together for two years, moves on from me so easily, told me I was the reason why it wasn’t working out and made me feel like was nothing and chose another over me who ended up abandoning them like they did me but still stood up for them and I got so low one night I contemplated taking me life and got so close but thank god I didn’t and I saw everyone who is there and was there for me and loves me! On top of that my mother told my biological father that I was doing bad and he never called once tho he’s never really been there for me so that added onto to the pain even more tho I expected that from him lol but I have a father who raised me and that’s what matters to thank you citizen soldier this song made me cry and I love y’all for that it’s amazing song and many of us needed it !
Thanks again for this amazing song Citizen Soldier as someone struggling with depression having dark thoughts is a normal occurrence for me but your songs give hope and a way to understand that I am not the only one feeling that way Thanks again an have a nice day greetings from Chile
"Hatred is Home" This line hits right into the hurt. Hatred is the pure emotion. Hatred to myself, to all the world, to everybody who betrayed me. But im changing. So i want to reform my home of hatred. Not to clenace it or burn. But to... Just live with it, as a part of me, but not entire me.
Incrível como essa música bate na alma... Ódio sobre traumas e pessoas que o abandonaram. "Eu tentei, eu tentei eu ser perfeito"... Todos buscamos a aprovação de pessoas, esse é o maior erro que podemos cometer. Seja você mesmo, não caia na ladainha de "amigos" e parentes, viva por Deus, você e por quem te faça bem de verdade. Esqueça quem te faz mal, e se nao conseguir, canalize o ódio para fazer exercícios físicos, aprender coisas novas, e jogue na cara dessas pessoas. Jogue na cara dessas pessoas que vc venceu o mundo!!
Every act of kindness, every word of praise Makes the system malfunction Only hear the negative cause each mistake Is what feeds the combustion. So very true.
If youll excuse me, ill be blasting this so damn loud my neighbors will feel the bass. Thank you for this. Ill be playing it on repeat for the next 2 months.
I can't afford therapy. I,can however, follow you. You are the hardest working band out there. Thank you for putting a hand on my heart and helping me. Much ❤
This song is exactly how my life has gone. I'm 41 and Citizen Soldier are the only ones that can figure out exactly what I want to say and put it in an amazingly powerful song. Their music has pulled me out of so many dark places, that they have literally saved my life. Thank you CS. You mean more to me than you can possibly know.
Going through hell almost everyday with my thoughts and demons, citizen soldier is my happiness and addiction every single song makes me feel less alone. Constantly blaring your songs through my speaker❤
‘Love is Lie, Hope is a Hole’ speak volumes to me,love has done nothing but case me pain and suffering, then just when I become hopeful for someone they then prove why I despise love and never give hope a chance anymore.
I feel sorry for Jakes vocal chords those screams sounded like they were painful to perform but well done that is an amazing song I loved the parts with the whisper as it made the screams more impactful another banger can't wait to see what's next👏👏
I've been through hell the last 3 months.. thinking about ending it all.. I've started self harming again after 13 yrs sober from it. This band and Titus Makin Jr (singer/actor) are/is the only thing getting me through right now. So thank you!!!!
This is incredible. No words to describe how accurate this affects our society. Each of us goes through something like this at some point. Relatable, flawless.
DAMN 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 🎶Every act of kindness, every word of praise Makes the system malfunction Only hear the negative 'cause each mistake Is what feeds the combustion A brain built by every memory Of times I was vulnerable in vain That just proved I'm never worth the pain What's wrong with me?🎶 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 I've also tried to be perfect But it just isn't worth it
I could have written these lyrics. These are the things I never say out loud, because I don't want to burden others with my sorrow and rage. Thank you Citizen Soldier, seriously.
“Trust is a Trap that took my soul” I Love that line so much, I can’t explain it but it explained my trust issues perfectly
We hear you 🫀
@@CitizenSoldier ❤️❤️
That line hit so close to home! I hear you!
Amen brother.
Same
Dang this hits hard. I’m crying because this exactly how I’ve felt for so many years. Thank you Citizen Soldier for giving those of us who feel our voices unheard an amazing platform where we no longer feel so alone.
much love my friend! 🫶
I agree, I’ve felt the same way for many years. Although my Dog and Family always help me out in my really tough times. Remember, you always have something positive around, or with you.
@@KatieGrzebin This is True Bro 💖
Jesus loves you. God bless
@@Hdhdjdudh-fv5jk You too.
I'm always pumped for a new citizen soldier song. they're always full of purpose and help me through my demons
Glad it helps 🫀
same
Same here ❤
Same
Helps us all xx
If this isn't played at my funeral, I won't come
Underrated comment
15 seconds in already decided ill play this on loop for the next three weeks
Agree
🔂 🫀
I understand that. I played it until I fell asleep last night and still went right back to it when I woke up
I agree i have a playlist just for them on my phone
Same
"Love is a lie, hope is a hole, hatred is home, It's a part of me I can't let go"
This hit me to my core. I use IFS therapy for my abandonment and CPTSD. This is the only song in existence that describes it so accurately. Thank you Jake!
So true and similar except I don’t want therapy. Life is better for me with not trusting others.
@@magnarcreed3801The IP seems to identify with their trauma as a status symbol.
Or else they would never have posted such a thing.
It could be a coping mechanism, or perhaps they seek attention.
You or I cannot know.
Therapy can be useful in certain circumstances, but not those in which "trust" is prerequisite.
People always believe they understand, and they never actually do.
I recommend reading into the subject of psychology for yourself. That requires trust in no one.
There is a fraction of psychologists (I estimate 0.05%?) who have a reasonable understanding of human nature, and that is what you should look for: not people who seek to tell you who you are and what your problem is, but people who seem to be capable of understanding the big picture, and whose insights you can learn from and incorporate (not wholesale, but *meritically* (meritical: of a process based on merit)) into your own perspective.
My own personal opinion, is that therapy is largely hopeless. Have you seen some of the imbeciles out there with a psychology degree? How could you trust that you are getting a serious psychologist as your therapist?
You shouldn't.
Start by reading about psychology (I suggest books as opposed to articles) and perhaps, from there, if necessary, you can find the particular "type" of therapy and therapist that would actually be helpful for you.
@@ericfarina3935 you have no idea how...amazing and dumbfounding your view is to me. I struggle since 4 years to find help and even ended up in hospital from serotonin toxicity and took a break from trying for several months. And new psychiatrist still looks into documentation from 3 years ago and still wants to describe SSRI again,which just during first week gave me almost same symptoms. I told him why I gave up or got my meds changed so often. And after I told my last psychologist suggested me I might have ADHD and I said I felt validated in my self-diagnosis which I kept to myself. He...doesn't feel to understand. Oh,and I got here on YT thanks to RSD.
@ericfarina3935 why is understanding is so necessery and given so much importance? A dockter deosn't need to know how a cut feels but rather how to treat it sure it helps and with du consideration ofof how the person feels (enough pain medikation/mitigation).
(Until It Happens To You from Sasha Sloan sums that up.
will it is niche to find relatabel music, advice and so on,and its upsetting becouse of that. its not based on hypotheticals) don't know waht to do with this part.
and isen't having epathy/ social stuff and securty no matter how warented withaut trust not good for the inside if you have the biolagical inclanation for that?
@@somtheorywent crosseyed towards the end there. A doctor doesn’t need to know how a cut feels because it’s a physical issue and you can SEE what’s wrong. When it comes to a person’s mental and emotional troubles, you do have to understand the problem unless you’re just gonna prescribe medication and turn the person into an addict. Shit happens all the time in my family. They go through trauma, go to a therapist, get prescribes some medication that numbs them to the feeling, they get addicted, then they move on to other shit.
As someone who's struggling a lot with abandonment issues and always feels like I'm not enough, this really hit the spot. Songs like that really make me feel like I'm not the only one feeling this way, you help me feel less alone. Keep up the amazing work, you guys are really awesome ❤️
Me too 🖤
Me as well
For everyone who needs to hear this. Your not the only one that's feeling this way! And i am proud of you for fighting the memories! ❤
Once again citizen solider has made me cry with their powerful words. I never knew your music would be the thing to save my life. ❤
It's ok to cry 🫀
SAME
"Love is a lie
Hope is a hole
Trust is the trap that took my soul
Family is fake
Hatred is home
Getting abandoned is all I've know"
Even with my intense anxiety, the first time I heard these lines I thought "Oh, that's awful!" Until I realized "Oh wait, it's what I constantly tell myself, anyway". Always telling myself not to be hopeful, and to stop searching for those things that might bring me happiness because they'll all just go away. So many friends faded away. So many sweet things turned into sour things by one sentence. Hating myself is all I've known, anyway, and joyful things can't stay because of that. It's kinda sad, having such awful things actually be my life. Don't worry, I see the good, I do, but I think it makes me feel better seeing the good things as nothing big
If it makes you feel better, your not alone. I know I'm parta that club, and I know a lot of other people are to. It's ok to not be ok.
Do you know how to live life to the fullest? Play with what you have :p
You are not alone with this. But the more you tell yourself that the worse it will get. So, try something new be ambitious and whatever you do never stop fighting
Ppl dont understand the edge of being ok and not, constantly, i hear you with your anxiety. You really are not alone in this fight. Keep it together☯️🤘🏽
No love
No friends
No love from family
Just become failure for trying to becoming perfect
And I'm wired for worthless
😄😄😄
This song has punched through my heart and straight to my soul! The raw emotion behind each lyric is so powerful, this is a song to help the hurt and fight the battle at the same time.
Hope it helps 🫀
I have lost track of how many times I've listened to this song since the day it debuted, and this last weekend I finally felt strong enough to tell my wife this is how I feel. Not due to her, but from how I was raised and how my dad treated me, and still does to this day.
I finally feel strong enough to tell him how I feel, and will no longer tolerate the way I've been treated.
Thank you Citizens Solider for making this song.
I have been fighting BPD for two years now. Your songs always hit differently, especially the first verse:
"Pull you in, push you away
It's how I say: “I'm a little unstable”
Emotionless like a machine
Can't feel a thing with short circuits in my cables"
It really touches my soul!
Keep fighting, hang in there. Been fighting since 16, diagnosed since 18, it's shit, it's an insane struggle, but it does get better just that little bit every so often, and eventually it's manageable. I'm soon 25 now, still alive, contrary to what I had used to hope for when I was young.
OMG ME TOO! It's so hard it like idk what I want most of the time and it stresses me out :'0 was diagnosed when I was 21, I'm 23 now but I'm getting better! Hope you are too!/g
As always, the lyrics hit hard and not in a bad way. Putting words to feelings that were previously unable to be explained, letting people know that they're not the only ones who are in that dark place, and that they're no longer suffering in silence
Keep on rocking, Citizen Soldier
Hey depression, wake up! There's another CC song.
The way your songs reach people is amazing. Another banger to be on loop for a week or so. ❤
thank you! 🫶
@@CitizenSoldier 🫶
The drummer really went in on this song, absolutely loved it!
I love this song! It just preaches how when you've been abonanded and betrayed by everyone you've ever loved or trusted. You just fill with hatered. At others for betraying you and yourself for having failed, making them leave. The back and forth between blaming yourself and others ending in you, knowing that "love is a lie, hope is a hole," and "hatred is home."
This song covers so much of how I've felt for years...
this song just explained me.. sadly.
crying to this song now i hate how relatable this is to me.. especially the part where it says "i have tried to be perfect" words cant explain how much i relate..
First song that hits every fiber of frustration an despair felt when losing and trying and losing again holding to what little strength one has left just to take one breath just to keep going almost without hope, alone, forgotten and broken.
Exactly... I'm right there with you..
"Memories of times I was not enough to make the ones I need most just wanna stay" I've been saying that forever. I don't want someone to stay because I made them. I want them to stay because they want to stay with me
"Love is a lie, hope is a hole
Trust is the trap that took my soul
Family is fake, hatred is home
Getting abandoned is all I've known"
😔
This song hit me big time. Has all the feelings I can never explain. Thanks Citizen Soldier. Your music has gotten me through some really tough times and still does.❤
I love that you make soft, uplifting songs, and then there's ones like this that acknowledge the intense emotions that trauma and/or mental illness makes you go through. Intrusive thoughts, emotional Dysregulation, etc.
Most of us can relate to at least one part of this song, so thank you for helping us feel heard. ;
Was able to see them in concert one of the most down to earth. People I've ever had the privilege to speak with. He waited for the long line of people and spoke with everyone of them. And made you feel good enough.
Dude gives the most comforting hugs, too!
I've felt this way for as long as I can remember. For all 21 years of my life I never knew how to say it quite right, but here it is, my feelings laid bare before me.
This song is about me. I'm glad you wrote this song. Thank you very much Citizen Soldier. I thank you that you understand me writing all these songs.❤
This is easily every girl at the facility I work at. They all have so much trauma despite being so young. I hope they can grow to have your strength and can learn to rise above their trials as you have.
Thank you as always for your powerful and poignant musical masterpieces
I’m currently watching every citizen soldier video that they have. My life is currently crumbling down around me. I lost my insurance, my dads truck broke down, now my brother is in the ICU after a major car accident. I’m not sure what else can go wrong at this point. Listening to this band always makes me feel a little bit better to know that I’m not the only one struggling with tough stuff. Having no friends also does not help.
It's hard to escape the pull of hatred, when all you see is betrayal all around you. No matter how kind a soul begins.. this world will constantly try to corrupt it. I've come to believe.
If only more unaffected people could understand or empathize with the chaos inside our abused minds! I am so very sorry you experienced this @CitizenSoldier and everyone else whom this rings true for. Realizing you are not alone is both comforting AND disturbing. Much love and hugs to you all. 💙
My therapist is always so impressed by my ability to articulate my emotions on paper. I'd like to think it's because of you guys that I'm so in touch with myself now... more than i ever was 4 years ago when i found you all. As someone who struggles with self inflicted trauma and trauma dealt to myself by others, it truly is hard to unlearn the negative core beliefs that become a part of your being through such experiences. Much love to the band and everyone that's struggling in their own battles. Keep fighting, it's not a wasted effort... make the changes you need in your environment so you can begin working on finding yourself again and combat the negative with the positive, even if you don't believe in what you tell yourself. Undoing the negative core beliefs and radically accepting your past is the hardest parts of healing but you can do it! I believe in you ❤
You guys legit have never made a song that didn’t hit the nail on the head. Amazing
LYRICS HERE
Pull you in, push you away
That's how I say I'm a little unstable
Emotionless, like a machine
Can't feel a thing with short circuits in my cables
A brain built by every memory
Of times I was not enough to make
The ones I need most just wanna stay
What's wrong with me?
Love is a lie, hope is a hole
Trust is the trap that took my soul
Family is fake, hatred is home
Getting abandoned is all I've known
I have tried, I have tried to be perfect
But I believe, I believe I deserve it
I have tried, I have tried to unlearn it
But I am wired, I am wired for worthless (worthless)
Wired for worthless (worthless)
Every act of kindness, every word of praise
Makes the system malfunction
Only hear the negative 'cause each mistake
Is what feeds the combustion
A brain built by every memory
Of times I was vulnerable in vain
That just proved I'm never worth the pain
What's wrong with me?
Love is a lie, hope is a hole
Trust is the trap that took my soul
Family is fake, hatred is home
Getting abandoned is all I've known
I have tried, I have tried to be perfect
But I believe, I believe I deserve it
I have tried, I have tried to unlearn it
But I am wired, I am wired for worthless
Less
Love is a lie
Hope is a hole
Hatred is home
It's a part of me that I can't let go
I have tried, I have tried to be perfect
But I believe, I believe I deserve it
I have tried, I have tried to unlearn it
But I am wired, I'm wired for worthless
Less
Wired for worthless (less)
2 weeks passed and I'm still playing this non-stop. The fact that someone so amazing can put my emotions in words, is why I feel so much better. Also listening to songs from Citizen Soldier is like having a therapy, it's because they are those rare, understanding and amazing people you just want to cherish with your whole heart
You are not worthless, you just have not found your worth yet. Just keep living and you will find it.
This is definitely one of my favorites. I love the lines “Getting abandoned is all I’ve known. I have tried I have tried to be perfect but I believe I believe I deserve it.” My self-deprecating thoughts get to me every once and a while and that is exactly how I feel.
Sending love 🫀
Learned a few weeks ago that a close friend suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder, which lines up with a lot of the stuff mentioned in this song. Just shared it with them and they really appreciated it.
Did 2:26
I loved this tarck, I was surprised all the way! The work on the instrumentation is phenomenal, I'm so happy to have discovered this music 🫶
And the message as often touches me personally even if I'm much better since the first time I listened to your music!
Thanks again Matthew, Kyle, Jake, Wonita, Kooper and everyone who works with you🪄
Appreciate you! 🫀
you forget to thanks one person who made this video. EVPRODUCTION
@@anjukapyaar8656 I agree! I let a comment on his TH-cam channel too 🖤
"Trust is the trap that took my soul" This line hit's deeper each time I hear it. (Great job as usual!)
You guys will probably never see this comment. But I just want to say you guys are my comfort music. If I’m getting really down I come listen to your music and it helps me not feel so alone. Thank you ❤
"Love is a lie" is the line that spoke to me the most, having loved ones not truly care hit me hard... all i can ever say is, thank you for all your music
Got to listen to it on Apple Music. Many of your songs have left me speechless, this one included. God almighty, you guys knocked it out of the park with this one!! I loved the pauses between ‘worth’ and ‘less’, and I especially loved that bridge!! Those first notes in the bridge reminded me so much of the bridge in Red’s Breathe Into Me and I was instantly hit with intense nostalgia! I absolutely loved it!! Amazing work, all of you! Can’t wait for more!!! ❤️🖤❤️🤘
Appreciate those words 🫀
Hatred is home.
Man that hit deep. Really really deep.
I don’t know how you did it, but you managed to put into words how I feel as a person with BPD. I think this is one of your hardest-hitting songs for me. Thank you for spreading awareness and encouragement through your music.
This song freaking slaps! ❤
Love is a lie
Hope is a hole
Trust is a trap that took my soul
Family is fake
Hatred is home
Getting abandoned is all I’ve known... This hit me so hard cause I feel that. Love this song. Awesome job!
After so long this masterpiece has released and “I have tried I have tried to be perfect” has to be one of the best verses alongside monster made of memories
bro that "I've tried to be perfect" nailed something in me, I got goosebumps I sweard
As someone with BPD, this really hit hard. Thank you for releasing this, it helped me to explain to people what it is like when I have a "flare". You guys are amazing, keep up the amazing work.
It hits really hard for me as well, but I have BPD II. The highs are less intense, but the downs are more severe for BPD II.
Bipolar sucks, I have Borderline Personality Disorder, but I have a sister with Bipolar II and I know it can be really difficult to manage.
Just because someone is "wired for worthless"doesnt have to be bad I think as someone who is rewiring themselves change it by replacing worthless with Priceless cause your beautiful soul is priceless
As much as I listen to a lot of music which I still do. This song sounds so good because not only that I saw shorts of it but I can't remember when. This is the best song by far for anyone. Good Job Citizen Soldier!❤
This is my favorite song yet! I come from a very broken home. Im 19 and wish to be normal. I am completely dependent on my Mom financially. I cant hold a job for more than a few months and this song describes my everyday life. I love your music. I listen to it every night to fall asleep
This songs speaks to me like if it knew my struggles. Truly a masterpiece and a absolute banger at that! Thank you to the artist Citizen Soldier for creating this song. 🙏
With someone with a lot of issues and who thinks she is too broken for love, I needed this
When my world is crashing down, then you guys come to pull me up. That's what I needed in the darkest night.
so glad our music does that for you! 🫶
Always find myself listening to your music in a time of crisis.
This is how I've felt for a long time. Makes me realize I am not alone. You're truly amazing for what you do.
Thanks for another one that speaks for us. Your lyrics speak when no words can.
Reminds me of 2000’s Shinedown, theory of a deadman, 3 days Grace, etc.. All my favorite music, I’ve never fallen in love with a band so quickly!! ESPECIALLY newer artists, you guys are awesome!
Incredible, this song is spectacular, without a doubt they are an incredible band, their music crosses borders.
greetings from Mexico
Love Mexico! 🫀
How do they keep getting better??? Absolutely brilliant
It finally dropped!!
We've waited so long and it's been so worth it. You guys do such an important thing with your songs. Keep it up Citizen Soldier! You are doing amazing! ❤
Wow. I didn't plan on crying today from being told how my brain was wired... I think I needed this. A lot. Thank you for another great song, it's been a while since I was able to cry. So thank you again!
Перевод
[1куплет]
Притянуть тебя, оттолкнуть тебя
Мой способ сказать "я немного нестабилен"
Безэмоционален, как машина
Ничего не чувствую из из-за коротких замыканий в моих кабелях.
[Бридж]
Мозг, выстроен воспоминаниями
О каждом разе когда меня было недостаточно для того
Что бы самый дорогой мне человек захотел остаться
Что со мной не так?
Любовь - ложь
Надежда - дыра
Доверие - ловушка что забрала мою душу
Семья - фальшь
Ненависть - дом
Быть покинутым - все что я знаю.
Я пытался, я пытался быть идеальным,
Но я верю, я верю что заслужил это.
Я пытался, пытался отучиться от этого
Но я запрограммирован на бесполезность.
[2куплет]
Каждый акт доброты, каждое слово похвалы
Делает систему неисправной
Слышу только негатив, ведь каждая ошибка
Это то что питает моё выгорание
Мозг выстроенный воспоминаниями
Каждого случая когда напрасно был уязвимым
Это лишь доказало что я не стою этой боли.
Что со мной не так?
[Припев]
Любовь - ложь
Надежда - дыра
Доверие - ловушка что забрала мою душу
Семья - фальшь
Ненависть - дом
Быть покинутым - все что я знаю.
Я пытался, я пытался быть идеальным,
Но я верю, я верю что заслужил это.
Я пытался, пытался отучиться от этого
Но я запрограммирован на бесполезность.
(Сначала он I am wired for worth что можно перевести как "настроен чего то стоить" но следом добавляется less что превращает worth - быть значимым/чего то стоить в worthless - бесполезный/никчемный)
Красавчик❤
Аааа отпад😍
Огромное спасибо за это) Будучи человеком, на всякий случай проверяющим переводы нравящихся композиций, очень рада увидеть таковой практически сразу после прослушивания
Пушка
This band is literally helping me battle my inner demons and the depression of a divorce. Thank you guys for making amazing meaningful music
In all honesty, this song and "My Own Miracle" describe me to a tee. I did send both of them to a friend saying, "These songs are me to a tee." I love how real your songs are, so keep up the good work!!
The reason I listen to this band because i'm hurting inside because my crush has a crush on another guy and I have to be proud of her even though I am hurting inside and just act happy all the time while nobody knows that i'm hurting.
Been waiting for months for this song to come out. Yet another song that states EXACTLY how I've felt since 14 years old. Thank you again Citizen Soldier for another great song. ❤️🔥❤️🔥
„I‘ve tried to be perfect but I believe I deserve it. I’ve tried to unlearn it but I am wired for worthless“ this hits hard… nothing has ever explained it better how I‘m feeling inside
How my last relationship made me feel when she called off the engagement after we were together for two years, moves on from me so easily, told me I was the reason why it wasn’t working out and made me feel like was nothing and chose another over me who ended up abandoning them like they did me but still stood up for them and I got so low one night I contemplated taking me life and got so close but thank god I didn’t and I saw everyone who is there and was there for me and loves me! On top of that my mother told my biological father that I was doing bad and he never called once tho he’s never really been there for me so that added onto to the pain even more tho I expected that from him lol but I have a father who raised me and that’s what matters to thank you citizen soldier this song made me cry and I love y’all for that it’s amazing song and many of us needed it !
I love that there is a musical group that is not afraid to sing about mental problems. Especially since it saved my life...
Thanks again for this amazing song Citizen Soldier as someone struggling with depression having dark thoughts is a normal occurrence for me but your songs give hope and a way to understand that I am not the only one feeling that way Thanks again an have a nice day greetings from Chile
I’ve only got to the end of the first chorus and I already have goosebumps. This song is awesome!
"Hatred is Home"
This line hits right into the hurt. Hatred is the pure emotion. Hatred to myself, to all the world, to everybody who betrayed me.
But im changing. So i want to reform my home of hatred. Not to clenace it or burn. But to... Just live with it, as a part of me, but not entire me.
Heeeey, sou do Brazil, e é sempre muito satisfatório encontrar talentos como esses. Parabéns pelo trabalho!!!!!!
Incrível como essa música bate na alma... Ódio sobre traumas e pessoas que o abandonaram. "Eu tentei, eu tentei eu ser perfeito"...
Todos buscamos a aprovação de pessoas, esse é o maior erro que podemos cometer. Seja você mesmo, não caia na ladainha de "amigos" e parentes, viva por Deus, você e por quem te faça bem de verdade. Esqueça quem te faz mal, e se nao conseguir, canalize o ódio para fazer exercícios físicos, aprender coisas novas, e jogue na cara dessas pessoas. Jogue na cara dessas pessoas que vc venceu o mundo!!
I swear this Band don’t miss every song is always a banger ❤
Every act of kindness, every word of praise Makes the system malfunction Only hear the negative cause each mistake Is what feeds the combustion. So very true.
If youll excuse me, ill be blasting this so damn loud my neighbors will feel the bass.
Thank you for this. Ill be playing it on repeat for the next 2 months.
Me too. From southwest MO.
@@SarafinaSummers south TX lol
I can't afford therapy. I,can however, follow you. You are the hardest working band out there. Thank you for putting a hand on my heart and helping me. Much ❤
Got lucky finding this so soon, I absolutely adore your music! Been so excited for this song to come out!
Glad to hear that 🫀
This song is exactly how my life has gone. I'm 41 and Citizen Soldier are the only ones that can figure out exactly what I want to say and put it in an amazingly powerful song. Their music has pulled me out of so many dark places, that they have literally saved my life.
Thank you CS. You mean more to me than you can possibly know.
Waited all night for this song to come out! I love it so much the lyrics really speak to me! ❤️🩹🔥
Me too. I was there for the drop
Glad to hear that 🫀
Same here
"Getting abandoned is all I've known" that hit me hard, because thats my what my friends do. Citizen Soldier you are our lifesaver. 🤘
ive waited for this song for such a long time and it was definitely worth it! thank you guys so much 🫀
It's finally here 🫀
Going through hell almost everyday with my thoughts and demons, citizen soldier is my happiness and addiction every single song makes me feel less alone. Constantly blaring your songs through my speaker❤
I knew it would be good and you guys never disappoint.
And kudos to Jake, coz those harsh vocals are just glorious! I freaking love it
Appreciate that 🫀
@@CitizenSoldierlove you guys! ❤
‘Love is Lie, Hope is a Hole’ speak volumes to me,love has done nothing but case me pain and suffering, then just when I become hopeful for someone they then prove why I despise love and never give hope a chance anymore.
It’s already on loop I’m In love with this song it explains a lot
🔂 🫀
Ok tonight is the first time I’ve ever heard these guys but I love their music holy shit!!!!
I feel sorry for Jakes vocal chords those screams sounded like they were painful to perform but well done that is an amazing song I loved the parts with the whisper as it made the screams more impactful another banger can't wait to see what's next👏👏
I've been through hell the last 3 months.. thinking about ending it all.. I've started self harming again after 13 yrs sober from it. This band and Titus Makin Jr (singer/actor) are/is the only thing getting me through right now. So thank you!!!!
You guys are so insanely good! I can't thank you enough for the messages in your songs and for your music overall!
This is incredible. No words to describe how accurate this affects our society. Each of us goes through something like this at some point. Relatable, flawless.
Another touching song, not only in the beat with the lyrics and vocals
Appreciate that 🫀
there's therapy, and then there's citizen soldier. I seriously am so grateful for the music ya'll produce, I feel so seen and heard
DAMN 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
🎶Every act of kindness, every word of praise
Makes the system malfunction
Only hear the negative 'cause each mistake
Is what feeds the combustion
A brain built by every memory
Of times I was vulnerable in vain
That just proved I'm never worth the pain
What's wrong with me?🎶
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
I've also tried to be perfect
But it just isn't worth it
thank you! 🫶
The fact that so many people enjoy your music, and I am one of them, shows just how broken we are as a society.
OH MY GOD! This is definitely going on my playlist! You guys NEVER miss!!!
Appreciate your support 🫀
Agreed. They don't have a single bad song.
I could have written these lyrics. These are the things I never say out loud, because I don't want to burden others with my sorrow and rage. Thank you Citizen Soldier, seriously.
Amazing!❤
🫀