What's unfair is that she still thinks she has to apologize for crying some well deserved tears that she has had to unfairly cry on her own. Well done. You're very brave and I hope you'll heal better now. Bravo.
You wouldn't believe the amount of viciousness I've read online towards this woman. Calling her every name in the book. I, myself, don't know if I could ever have the courage to face such wickedness and I totally understand why she's in "sorry" mode. It's scary to out yourself as a victim because so many people, unfortunately, do stand with the abuser. She's incredibly brave.
@@noraisacoff6649 So many women are socialized from a young age to be positive, to apologize if they weren't anything except happy and positive or even assertive. This didn't become clear to me until a day I was working with a group of women, and every time any of them spoke up about feeling uncomfortable about something, or suggested something, or wanted to say anything that could be construed as negative, they always prefaced with "I'm so sorry, but". I counted 20 "sorry"s in the course of 5 minutes. Constance probably knew she didn't have to apologize, but the fact is: it's ingrained. We shouldn't cry. We shouldn't speak up. We need to "be strong". And crying is seen as a weakness - especially in a professional setting. Even if the crying is cathartic in nature, which I think it was a bit for her here. It sucks, and it's something women in general need to unlearn.
"When someone does something out of character for them, it usually means that something is going on in their life." This hit me in the heart - the times I lashed out would be the times I was under a lot of personal emotional pressure that I couldn't talk about with anyone. And then came the shame from lashing out would just add to the emotional pressure - and the feelings of worthlessness.
That breaks my heart. I’m so sorry. I’ve felt the same about this and being labeled as something not true to you due to immense pressure. I hope all gets better and in those moments you feel in control of your narrative. Much love 💕
@@xidiamond6851 well apologies to those people for some of us being terrible at being happy and kind 100% of the time while going through tough and stressful situations. We’ll try harder to hide our pain and keep a nicer external appearance for their comfort.
I really admire the way Seth handle this, and embolden her to share her side of the story and make her feel validated. She is the star of fresh off the boat, and her talent just amaze me and makes me laugh so hard. I had no idea that she was fresh off to acting as well.
@@drebugsita Did I ask for your opinion? Did the OP ask for your defense? 40 is not young. 40 is the start of middle age. That is not my opinion, that is fact. Why, are you insecure about the fact you're ageing? This is the internet. Everyone has the ability to speak their mind. Get over yourself, you're not in charge here and there is no manager to speak to.
Bro... I almost cried with her, you can feel her emotions through the screen, I love Fresh of the boat and I had no idea this was going on, it breaks my heart, what a brave and strong woman. 👏
Dude, I'm still crying after ... 3 minutes seeing this interview. She had it tough, as have too many others. #metoo had a long time coming, let's not forget there still is all kinds of power play abuse going on!
@@BikerDudeLebowski You gentlemen are giving me hope. I'm so used to bros online trying to outdo each other in their bullying and misogyny. I'm glad you both felt this one appropriately and had the courage to say so.
Same. Fresh of the boat was my go to feel good show, the humor, the childhood vibes. Is just heartbreaking to hear that she was going through such pain while doing the show.
It took me 25 years to tell my own parents about sexual abuse by a family member. It is very hard to talk about and my own dad screamed at me for not telling him sooner. If you haven’t been through it, you don’t know what she felt but those of us who have completely understand how hard it is to talk about with others. She was graceful and brave. I completely understand the embarrassment and shame she felt (and obviously she shouldn’t have to feel that way but it is natural and why it’s so hard to disclose to anyone, much less millions of people) but she pushed past that. This helped many people, I assure you. Reclaiming your dignity after abuse is hard. She’s on the right path and many of us struggle to find that strength. And having compassionate thoughtful friends who listen is a blessing. Seth knew that and that’s why I appreciate him.
@@cestwhat1317 but it’s often more subtle, like with my dad. He feels like he failed - or at least that’s the best way I can explain it. But how can anyone tell their own dad he can’t see or talk to his brother. I tried and it didn’t go well. Thanks for engaging this tough topic. The fact that you commented is great.
@@joshuawestlund I was a victim of inappropriate conduct by someone at work. But I was too afraid to report it for fear of internalized victim blaming. Thoughts of "why did you stay in the office after 5 PM?" were running through my head. I did not want to relive the incident by retelling it. I just wanted it to stop.
*_"'I think it's important that we engage in curiosity and empathy before we go straight to judgement. Because if somebody does something out of character for them, usually something's going on in their life"_* a wise advice to all of us
As a man, I have tremendous admiration for any woman who had the strength to talk about being sexually harrassed or abused. It's obviously one of the most difficult things to do. Good for you, Ms Wu.
…but wont actually name her abuser. So this abuser can abuse others cause she refuses to name him…and u wonder why she’s getting backlash??? Get a clue.
@@jonnyfendi2003 she has nothing to do with the abuser’s actions. He abused before her and after and nothing she does can change that. I’m glad she got away from the psycho. She’s not god. She’s not a police officer. Quit putting the onus on the victim. What is wrong with you jonni!?
It’s literally one of the safest things to do today. There is nothing brave about it. It’s trendy and necessary for public figures in the entertainment industry. Nothing brave here.
Thank you, Seth, for being so compassionate. Instead of being scared that a moment might be awkward and try to blow past it, you showed empathy. It’s so nice to see. Your kindness impacts more than the people you are talking to directly, it helps others who have been in similar circumstances feel better. And it’s such a great example to others. Constance, you don’t have to apologize for having or showing emotions. Being able to be vulnerable shows strength. It’s people who can’t handle seeing it for even a moment that have issues. Good for you for being honest and genuine even when it is difficult and painful. I hope writing and sharing is helping you heal.
Omg, she is so clear in her delivery despite being overcome by emotion. I love Constance so much; I'm so sorry to hear this happened on the set of such big show.
I was thinking the same thing, to even be able to talk through that amount of pain and then to be so clear, concise, eloquent and to the point still.. just wow. Amazing!
Because she was ungrateful. The alleged harassment had nothing to do with her tweets. She said she handled it years before and was just angry she couldn't do other projects. She admitted that it wasn't about the harassment in her nightline interview
I mean if her abuser was an important member of the set and a new season meant she would have to interact with them again, wouldn’t you be frustrated. I would. I mean tweeting was not the best idea but people react differently so I’m not gonna crucify her for that. We sent perfect either people make stupid mistakes.
@@xidiamond6851 handled what years before? And when did she say it wasn't about the harassment? She hasn't been open about her trauma until recently, so if she said it a couple of years ago I assume that was when she was covering up the real reason. Regardless I don't think it's kind to call her response "ungrateful" when speaking about the site of her trauma. Aside from FOTB being forever associated with trauma, regular people complain about opportunities all the time. Venting is normal. Kids complain about school but wouldn't drop out no matter how hard it gets. Adults complain about work with no intention of quitting. Just because Wu is a famous person, she has to act like a happy, perfect robot all the time?
@@xidiamond6851 she said she handled it as in held it inside, become stoic. however she said " one cannot will something away" trauma like that comes out somehow and that was when she mentioned the tweet that people called her ungrateful for. That tweet was it coming out subconsciously bc she had to cont working with her abuser. THAT aside, I hope you never get cheated on and then when you want to file for divorce I hope people call you ungrateful to your spouse. toodles.
@@xidiamond6851 Women have to be grateful only men are allowed to be ambitious. DiCaprio didn't have to ask if it was OK if he could finally leave the sitcom he got his start on. Why should this lady. Her life was moving on. She could have said it nicer, and Twitter is a stupid place to look for empathy, but sounds like she got piled on for years and some Asian American actress DM'd her so much about the shame she brought to the AA community she tried to kill herself. Pretty over-the-top when she was basically saying she'd rather be doing bigger things...
Thank you, Constance. I was falsely accused of plagiarism by a teacher. When the people who you expect to believe in you don’t it can be excruciatingly painful. I’m glad your drama teacher advocated for you.
Me too! My experience was nowhere near as awful as hers but even nearly 2 decades later I still vividly remember the conversation and how hurt and angry it made me.
Same here! I was in grade school & didn’t realize my teacher I couldn’t have possibly have written this one book report. My mother came up to the school to raise hell. Thanks, Mom! I can’t believe Ms. Wu’s teacher was allowed to spread that slander to other staff members. Outrageous.
sounds like the actions of an insecure and jealous teacher -- no proof, but "she couldn't possibly have written that" - who says that? immature and egregious, coming from a teacher.
I was accused twice, once by my 10th grade English teacher and the second time by one of my first year university professors. Thankfully in both instances I had my research notes and old drafts I had saved to prove that I had in fact written both essays, and both were made to apologize to me by their department heads, for making accusations without doing due diligence of finding proof for their own suspicions. It still was very embarrassing, upsetting and stressful, and made me question whether it was worth working so hard to get those good grades, when many of my peers seemed to be having more fun getting by with Bs and Cs. I am lucky to have supportive parents and other teachers in my life who encouraged my hard work and passion.
She is so strong to open up about this and good for her for being able to stand up to her abuser in the end. She had to put up with it for way too long. And it's so nice that there's a talk show host that will actually actively listen and not interrupt. However, it's also so messed up that she has to tell Seth "thank you for not making fun of me" on the topic. That says a lot about the feedback she's been getting for probably years now. My heart goes out to her that she can continue to heal and move forward!
Thank you *so much* Constance. Super important to talk about this. Sexual harassment is about control. It's about intimidation and it permeates everything in the environment that we experience it in - and for many of us that's our careers. It holds us back. It alienates us. It tells us we had better watch our backs. It tells us we're not safe. It's VERY appropriate to cry about this. And it's not fair that we have been made to.
So glad she wrote about her abuse and working through it. She's strong and smart and aware and obviously someone to keep an eye on in the future as an influence.
I'm so glad you spoke out, Constance! As someone who was sexually assaulted by an attorney I worked with fresh out of school, I understand exactly what you mean. I didn't want to lose my job. And the attorney even told me no one would believe me and he would make my life and my family's lives miserable because I'd actually punched him in the face (so he said he would bring assault charges against me, etc.). I think it's important to shine a light on this kind of behavior and every time another brave person speaks out, the more abusers fear getting caught. Thanks, Seth, for being an empathetic and supportive listener.
Ugh. That's such an important story because so many people like to believe that sexual harassment is a case of mutual misunderstanding -- when in fact many harassers do a very careful calculation, picking targets that nobody will believe, at points when they are vulnerable in their careers or vulnerable financially. And then of course when victims do come forward, they are accused of wanting money and not being trustworthy precisely because they are in vulnerable position. (And if they come forward in a book, they are accused of just wanting to sell copies of their book.) I am sorry that happened to you.
@@RVCfilm you're so correct about how abusers operate. It's not a random accident when an abuser selects their target, other than the uncommon case where the guy is totally high and half out of his mind. They look for vulnerability and the least chance of repercussion for their behavior.
Can I just say that Seth handled this with a lot of grace and compassion. He saw that she needed a moment and sent us to commercial so Constance could gather herself.
I like how Seth put his hand on the edge of his desk and offered the possibility of comforting touch but left the initiative/decision to her. That was handled well considering the context. Also he didn't address her crying and calmly listened to what she had to say. That's what I wish for whenever I get overwhelmed by my emotions while talking about something important to me.
@@frauwu1900 it made me like my guy more he respected my wish of no fake pity ( my furious anger at finally realizing I’d been drugged didn’t scare him away). Because of him I am seeing a therapist now and have dealt with my anger at he who I don’t name… I say a voodoo doll is too good for him. It’s a process and that feeling of uneasiness is something I’m not used to… so I take everything day by day because it’s how I manage my ptsd/anxiety.
@@iamsherlocked345 I am glad to hear that you are going to therapy and had someone who listened to you and got you the help you needed. That’s a true friend! Of course things will get better, but sometimes we just need one person who believe in you to turn our life around.
@@dorkiecookie honestly deciding to talk about what happened to me was a turning point. I never thought not remembering something would still mean you still know something did happen.
As a young woman who has to navigate this adult world by herself a lot, I felt so seen. Everything she shared was so genuine and resonated with me. Never understood the hate she got. I applaud her. It’s so cathartic for me. I feel so vindicated on her behalf.
Hearing Constance share her story, I could swear she was telling my own. I'm humbled by her courage to be so open and vulnerable in that moment. And I am so, so glad to know she is no longer in that situation. Seth, when you told Constance that when you go to work, it's the work that should be hard, and that it was unfair for her to have to carry that additional burden... it was like something inside me finally clicked back in to place. Thank you. I've been waiting over a decade for someone to say those words.
Seth, I am so glad your guests feel comfortable enough with you to open up like this. I am constantly reminded of reasons why you're my favorite talk show host.
I am now a die-hard fan of hers! Every word she said was totally relatable - if someone does something out of character it really is worth getting curious, because it usually does indicate that something is going on. We are so quick to judge. It is so hard to witness your abuser going about like they are some stellar person. I've lived this with my narc mom. But whatever the scenario, it is re-traumatizing not to be believed. So grateful for her message. And crying is healing! There is no reason to be ashamed for it
Constance, thank you for writing and sharing. From recognizing the beauty of a mentor standing up for you as a kid, to sharing your emotions about the abuse you endured- you are a total CLASS ACT. ❤
Omg, her talking about trying to move on without confronting that trauma and those feelings catching up to you sooner or later made me become a waterfall because I am literally going through those feelings catching up at this very moment and having to confront them, it is very important to get help, she is so brave, kudos to her
I just burst out in tears.. Things that she said is too familiar. Thank you constance for sharing this story and thanks to seth for being kind and makes her feels safe and heard
When she cried, I cried with her. So many of us, woman, man or child, have been through situations that we decide to "take to the grave" because it's easier to. It's hard being crucified for something you did as an act of self-protection. Despite some of the vile responses I've seen on other platforms, I'm so proud of her and hope she focuses on all the positive support. Also a huge fan of her work.
The fact that it’s so closely beneath the surface that easily is brought to tears in just talking around it and not even in detail, demonstrates not only how traumatic it was for, but how vulnerable she feels in sharing it. She’s was incredibly brave to share it and I hope it helps to embolden victims to address their trauma too. 💙
I love how Seth is reaching out to her across the desk to show he’s supporting her. It was hard for her to carry this alone for so long, good for her that she can talk about it now and not carry this in secret anymore. It doesn’t make everything right but at least it makes the burden a little lighter to share it with others.
Seth did handle that well… like a loving, compassionate friend and man should. It’s sad that she feels like she needs to apologize for her feelings. But I get her. I get her well.
Dont be sorry for crying! You have every right to cry. I'm sending my hugs and love. ♥️♥️♥️ Thankyou for sharing your story. I'm very sorry that happend to you. I know how this feels.
I feel so much for Constance. She is amazing. I also feel embarrassed if I ever cry in from of others, even when fighting it it comes out. It should be nothing to be ashamed of but still feels like loosing control.
I'm very proud of Constance speaking up and coming forward with this abuse. People need to know how difficult of a position this is with the tremendous public pressure to stay silent. The abused are filled with fear of retribution with how we see victim blaming done today. You have my full support.
Man, Constance is amazing. She didn’t have to share her personal trauma, but I hope it is healing to her, and helpful to so many others who have been in the same circumstances. ❤
really moving interview. sucks that she felt the need to apologize so much because emotions are nothing to apologize for, they are valid no matter where you are. i'm glad this was on seths show because he's just so genuine he made it comfortable.
the way Meyers handled this moment is world-class. I'm glad to hear Constance clear up the situation and I'm excited to see where her career goes moving forward, been a fan since FOTB
I am happy that Constance Wu is letting it all out, sharing what she was not obligation to share , sometimes that is the best thing we can do, really love the way Seth conducts hard topics for his gests, it amazed me how he can be funny and kind at the same time.💕💕💕
Good for Constance on opening up about her past, and kudos to Seth for being supportive there. It’s a sensitive issue but it needs to be addressed publicly so victims don’t have to shoulder the burden alone.
Tears are earned, no need to be sorry for having or feeling emotions. Very powerful words Ms. Constance. Your strength and empathy are inspiring. I felt every one of those tears. Thank you for sharing your experience, I feel a little less alone. Seth, as always, a gentleman, a gentle man, genuine, funny, and a scholar of life. Empathy is taught, we are not born with this skill. I am so thankful Seth has set the bar so high! Thank you.
She was fantastic on Fresh Off the Boat. I'm so impressed by her not bowing down to external pressure. Anybody with a soul can see that she's speaking the truth.
I absolutely love Constance Wu for being so brave, and I also LOVE Seth Meyers for being the most empathetic and compassionate host. Him reaching toward Constance is such a sign of genuine compassion for someone that has gone through pain. Like Constance said, “we engage in curiosity and empathy before going straight to judgement”, so well said.
I wish I could give her hug. I feel her pain deeply. The amount of times she said sorry...like she reminds me of me during a similarly dark chapter in my life.
Oh Constance ❤️ thank you Seth and team for letting Constance share this in all of its uncomfortable truth. This made me cry and feel so angry at the same time.
She's just so freakin' real, if that's a thing. A breath of fresh air. How she deals with the dark stuff is just amazing. Some people just have a special light.
Wow, after reading Jennette McCurdy's biography and now this, it's pretty depressing to see how wide spread this kind of behavior is but kudos to both of them for working through it in a positive manner. 👍 Hopefully these stories encourage others in similar situations to do the same.
Jenette McCurdy, Elizabeth Giles, and so many others had it worse, way worse than what they were dare to say in a book. Not to diminish what Constance Wu has experienced, but a lot of (ex)-child stars have experienced worse sexual abuse since they were young, with their parents look at the other way...
This interview is terrific. She’s great, super honest and fun (heard of her but never saw her work), Seth is friendly, fun, and still respectful. In about 6 minutes.
As a fellow victim I can see that it is still too fresh to her to talk about it, that's why the crying and the "sorry for crying". Once you've been sort of free of the abuse/abuser and It doesn't hold you so much, you know It's okay to cry, to be serious, to make fun or light of anything kinda related to it... I wish her so well, she's in a path to light, power and just overall good in her life 🖤
That was so sweet how Seth let her take that space to get it all out and I am so glad he takes the time to ask those questions that can be hard and painful too. Thank you for letting her know that folks care and believe in her.
Wow I remember the hate this lady got and infact when I saw who it was I was like "isn't she supposed to be stuck up and ungrateful". She's exactly right, you don't know what's happening behind the scenes. So glad this didn't tarnish her career as it did with so many others. Her continued success is the best revenge on that slimeball
I’m so happy you’re still here with us, Constance! A beautiful example of how harmful such tribalistic judgment that exists on social media is and how much it hurts people. We all have feelings and emotions! I wish we could love and have more compassion for others.
What a really honest and beautiful interview. She's incredibly brave for writing about it and I hope this helps her heal more than reopening old wounds ♥️
God bless her! it breaks my heart how many times she apologizes just for crying. Girls feel how you feel! There is no shame in vulnerability and being honest with yourself and others about what you're feeling. There is only power and healing.
This was incredibly brave of Constance and Seth handled it like a pro, but it shattered my heart into a million pieces when she thanked him for not making fun of her. We treat each other terribly, and for what? And unfortunately there are plenty of men in this very comment section who are showing us exactly why women fear speaking up about abuse.
Cannot WAIT to read her book! What powerful stories. I’m so glad she found her voice; the courage she has displayed is just astounding. Just ordered it!
I don't usually watch interviews but I got to say: Constance is a warrior. Mad respect for your talent and your strength of character. You are a force to be reckoned with and never to be challenged. Power to you.
Thank you, Constance, for your bravery in sharing your truth. Thank you, Seth, for putting your guest first, taking care of her, and not trying to milk this moment. Well done.
As a big fan of her and FOTB, I feel terrible that I just thought she was sick of the show itself and expressed it tactlessly. She's so right that if someone's acting out of character, you should think about why instead of rushing to the worst conclusion.
I was going to leave a comment praising Constance for her extraordinary display of vulnerability, honesty, and strength. But the people who commented before me have each summed it up so perfectly. 🙏🏻❤️
I’m proud of her as if she was my own daughter! Been the only boy in my home, made me appreciate all that women have to go through. I hope my daughters are as valiant as she is❤
I was really critical of Constance when she had that outburst on twitter a long time ago but of course we didn't know what she was going through and I feel really bad that I thought so negatively of her. But she is super strong for sharing her story and being able to stand up to her abuser and Seth showing her nothing but kindness and compassion. I really hope that nothing but positve things come her way 💖💖
![ILLSLICK - KILLSHOT REMIX [FULL VERSION]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/RIK8RrqIAzE/mqdefault.jpg)
"engage in curiosity and empathy before going straight to judgement" I love that
"Be curious, not judgemental" - Ted Lasso quoting Walt Whitman (although Walt Whitman never said that)
What's unfair is that she still thinks she has to apologize for crying some well deserved tears that she has had to unfairly cry on her own. Well done. You're very brave and I hope you'll heal better now. Bravo.
You wouldn't believe the amount of viciousness I've read online towards this woman. Calling her every name in the book. I, myself, don't know if I could ever have the courage to face such wickedness and I totally understand why she's in "sorry" mode. It's scary to out yourself as a victim because so many people, unfortunately, do stand with the abuser. She's incredibly brave.
@mzsurr who is her abuser??
This exactly. It's so moving to hear her speak about this, and I wish she knew she didn't need to apologize for anything at all.
@@jonnyfendi2003 sounds like the producer on the first production she was in. I'm not going to IMDB it for u. But I hope that helps.
@@noraisacoff6649 So many women are socialized from a young age to be positive, to apologize if they weren't anything except happy and positive or even assertive. This didn't become clear to me until a day I was working with a group of women, and every time any of them spoke up about feeling uncomfortable about something, or suggested something, or wanted to say anything that could be construed as negative, they always prefaced with "I'm so sorry, but". I counted 20 "sorry"s in the course of 5 minutes. Constance probably knew she didn't have to apologize, but the fact is: it's ingrained. We shouldn't cry. We shouldn't speak up. We need to "be strong". And crying is seen as a weakness - especially in a professional setting. Even if the crying is cathartic in nature, which I think it was a bit for her here. It sucks, and it's something women in general need to unlearn.
"When someone does something out of character for them, it usually means that something is going on in their life." This hit me in the heart - the times I lashed out would be the times I was under a lot of personal emotional pressure that I couldn't talk about with anyone. And then came the shame from lashing out would just add to the emotional pressure - and the feelings of worthlessness.
That breaks my heart. I’m so sorry. I’ve felt the same about this and being labeled as something not true to you due to immense pressure. I hope all gets better and in those moments you feel in control of your narrative. Much love 💕
It wasn't out of character. When the story first came out it was reported that people who knew her were not surprised
@@xidiamond6851 well apologies to those people for some of us being terrible at being happy and kind 100% of the time while going through tough and stressful situations. We’ll try harder to hide our pain and keep a nicer external appearance for their comfort.
Going through this
This can only be said by someone who is mature and experienced
Aww Seth handled that so compassionately- more like a friend than a talk show host self-conscious about keeping the show from getting awkward.
Seth was very sweet about it. He didn't make too big of a deal out of it so she wouldn't get more upset but he was empathetic.
He could've gotten the tissues out before the break.
@@mfpendle 😊 Lol, I like him. I've liked his humor since Saturday Night Live.
Just when you thought you couldn't love either of them more...
I really admire the way Seth handle this, and embolden her to share her side of the story and make her feel validated. She is the star of fresh off the boat, and her talent just amaze me and makes me laugh so hard. I had no idea that she was fresh off to acting as well.
There’s nothing a bully hates more than being ousted! Well done for speaking up. 🌸
Nothing like trying to sell a useless book too🤣🤣
@@3dsmaxrocks699 u broke people are so annoying
@@3dsmaxrocks699 Ah.. another bully outs themselves…
@@classictalkies Let me guess, you think Christine Blasey Ford was telling the truth too🤣🤣
And Trump raped E Jean Carol🤣🤣
#believenowomenever
@@3dsmaxrocks699 nothing like another sad person who rushes to discredit a woman speaking out about being abused...
Bless you, Mr Frazel. And Seth and team, for letting an uncomfortable story be told by a strong young woman and supporting her emotions.
She's 40. But I agree with the rest.
@@burnyizland Was anyone asking for your opinion on what constitutes young?
@@drebugsita Did I ask for your opinion? Did the OP ask for your defense?
40 is not young. 40 is the start of middle age. That is not my opinion, that is fact. Why, are you insecure about the fact you're ageing?
This is the internet. Everyone has the ability to speak their mind. Get over yourself, you're not in charge here and there is no manager to speak to.
@@burnyizland Are you a teenager or younger?
@@burnyizland lol fair enough. I'm 52. Age is relative, no?
Bro... I almost cried with her, you can feel her emotions through the screen, I love Fresh of the boat and I had no idea this was going on, it breaks my heart, what a brave and strong woman. 👏
Dude, I'm still crying after ... 3 minutes seeing this interview. She had it tough, as have too many others. #metoo had a long time coming, let's not forget there still is all kinds of power play abuse going on!
@@BikerDudeLebowski You gentlemen are giving me hope. I'm so used to bros online trying to outdo each other in their bullying and misogyny. I'm glad you both felt this one appropriately and had the courage to say so.
Same. Fresh of the boat was my go to feel good show, the humor, the childhood vibes. Is just heartbreaking to hear that she was going through such pain while doing the show.
It took me 25 years to tell my own parents about sexual abuse by a family member. It is very hard to talk about and my own dad screamed at me for not telling him sooner. If you haven’t been through it, you don’t know what she felt but those of us who have completely understand how hard it is to talk about with others. She was graceful and brave. I completely understand the embarrassment and shame she felt (and obviously she shouldn’t have to feel that way but it is natural and why it’s so hard to disclose to anyone, much less millions of people) but she pushed past that. This helped many people, I assure you. Reclaiming your dignity after abuse is hard. She’s on the right path and many of us struggle to find that strength. And having compassionate thoughtful friends who listen is a blessing. Seth knew that and that’s why I appreciate him.
And thank you for sharing your heart. I pray healing for you as well.
I've known of incidents where the family knew and either swept it under the rug, or scolded the victim. Beyond cowardly and disgusting.
@@cestwhat1317 but it’s often more subtle, like with my dad. He feels like he failed - or at least that’s the best way I can explain it. But how can anyone tell their own dad he can’t see or talk to his brother. I tried and it didn’t go well. Thanks for engaging this tough topic. The fact that you commented is great.
@@joshuawestlund I was a victim of inappropriate conduct by someone at work. But I was too afraid to report it for fear of internalized victim blaming. Thoughts of "why did you stay in the office after 5 PM?" were running through my head. I did not want to relive the incident by retelling it. I just wanted it to stop.
@@RaymondHng I’m here for you anytime
*_"'I think it's important that we engage in curiosity and empathy before we go straight to judgement. Because if somebody does something out of character for them, usually something's going on in their life"_*
a wise advice to all of us
As a man, I have tremendous admiration for any woman who had the strength to talk about being sexually harrassed or abused. It's obviously one of the most difficult things to do. Good for you, Ms Wu.
Mega Ultra Simp🤣🤣
…but wont actually name her abuser. So this abuser can abuse others cause she refuses to name him…and u wonder why she’s getting backlash??? Get a clue.
@@jonnyfendi2003 she has nothing to do with the abuser’s actions. He abused before her and after and nothing she does can change that. I’m glad she got away from the psycho. She’s not god. She’s not a police officer. Quit putting the onus on the victim. What is wrong with you jonni!?
@@lizabethhuntley9360 SHE'S SELLING A BOOK!!
Jesus...it's so obvious!
It’s literally one of the safest things to do today. There is nothing brave about it. It’s trendy and necessary for public figures in the entertainment industry. Nothing brave here.
I don't think I've ever seen a guest cry on a comedy talk show like this. It's so brave of her to speak publicly about these painful experiences.
Thank you, Seth, for being so compassionate. Instead of being scared that a moment might be awkward and try to blow past it, you showed empathy. It’s so nice to see. Your kindness impacts more than the people you are talking to directly, it helps others who have been in similar circumstances feel better. And it’s such a great example to others.
Constance, you don’t have to apologize for having or showing emotions. Being able to be vulnerable shows strength. It’s people who can’t handle seeing it for even a moment that have issues. Good for you for being honest and genuine even when it is difficult and painful. I hope writing and sharing is helping you heal.
Well said
Omg, she is so clear in her delivery despite being overcome by emotion. I love Constance so much; I'm so sorry to hear this happened on the set of such big show.
I was thinking the same thing, to even be able to talk through that amount of pain and then to be so clear, concise, eloquent and to the point still.. just wow. Amazing!
@@pavilion3064 definitely agree
Fake. She cried on cue in every interview.
This poor girl😢 I remember people were calling her “ungrateful” not knowing what she was going through.
Because she was ungrateful. The alleged harassment had nothing to do with her tweets. She said she handled it years before and was just angry she couldn't do other projects. She admitted that it wasn't about the harassment in her nightline interview
I mean if her abuser was an important member of the set and a new season meant she would have to interact with them again, wouldn’t you be frustrated. I would. I mean tweeting was not the best idea but people react differently so I’m not gonna crucify her for that. We sent perfect either people make stupid mistakes.
@@xidiamond6851 handled what years before? And when did she say it wasn't about the harassment? She hasn't been open about her trauma until recently, so if she said it a couple of years ago I assume that was when she was covering up the real reason.
Regardless I don't think it's kind to call her response "ungrateful" when speaking about the site of her trauma. Aside from FOTB being forever associated with trauma, regular people complain about opportunities all the time. Venting is normal. Kids complain about school but wouldn't drop out no matter how hard it gets. Adults complain about work with no intention of quitting. Just because Wu is a famous person, she has to act like a happy, perfect robot all the time?
@@xidiamond6851 she said she handled it as in held it inside, become stoic. however she said " one cannot will something away" trauma like that comes out somehow and that was when she mentioned the tweet that people called her ungrateful for. That tweet was it coming out subconsciously bc she had to cont working with her abuser. THAT aside, I hope you never get cheated on and then when you want to file for divorce I hope people call you ungrateful to your spouse. toodles.
@@xidiamond6851 Women have to be grateful only men are allowed to be ambitious. DiCaprio didn't have to ask if it was OK if he could finally leave the sitcom he got his start on. Why should this lady. Her life was moving on. She could have said it nicer, and Twitter is a stupid place to look for empathy, but sounds like she got piled on for years and some Asian American actress DM'd her so much about the shame she brought to the AA community she tried to kill herself. Pretty over-the-top when she was basically saying she'd rather be doing bigger things...
Thank you, Constance. I was falsely accused of plagiarism by a teacher. When the people who you expect to believe in you don’t it can be excruciatingly painful. I’m glad your drama teacher advocated for you.
Me too! My experience was nowhere near as awful as hers but even nearly 2 decades later I still vividly remember the conversation and how hurt and angry it made me.
Same here! I was in grade school & didn’t realize my teacher I couldn’t have possibly have written this one book report. My mother came up to the school to raise hell. Thanks, Mom! I can’t believe Ms. Wu’s teacher was allowed to spread that slander to other staff members. Outrageous.
I was too!!
sounds like the actions of an insecure and jealous teacher -- no proof, but "she couldn't possibly have written that" - who says that? immature and egregious, coming from a teacher.
I was accused twice, once by my 10th grade English teacher and the second time by one of my first year university professors. Thankfully in both instances I had my research notes and old drafts I had saved to prove that I had in fact written both essays, and both were made to apologize to me by their department heads, for making accusations without doing due diligence of finding proof for their own suspicions. It still was very embarrassing, upsetting and stressful, and made me question whether it was worth working so hard to get those good grades, when many of my peers seemed to be having more fun getting by with Bs and Cs. I am lucky to have supportive parents and other teachers in my life who encouraged my hard work and passion.
She is so strong to open up about this and good for her for being able to stand up to her abuser in the end. She had to put up with it for way too long. And it's so nice that there's a talk show host that will actually actively listen and not interrupt. However, it's also so messed up that she has to tell Seth "thank you for not making fun of me" on the topic. That says a lot about the feedback she's been getting for probably years now. My heart goes out to her that she can continue to heal and move forward!
@@sterlingboyns4883 lol "read the room"?? How Beta can you be?! LOLOLOLOLOLOL
@@Caterpillartears Ayyyyyye. Throw a rock at a woman’s window, I’ll make it my friend instead of those people 😅
Thank you *so much* Constance. Super important to talk about this. Sexual harassment is about control. It's about intimidation and it permeates everything in the environment that we experience it in - and for many of us that's our careers. It holds us back. It alienates us. It tells us we had better watch our backs. It tells us we're not safe.
It's VERY appropriate to cry about this. And it's not fair that we have been made to.
So glad she wrote about her abuse and working through it. She's strong and smart and aware and obviously someone to keep an eye on in the future as an influence.
I'm so glad you spoke out, Constance! As someone who was sexually assaulted by an attorney I worked with fresh out of school, I understand exactly what you mean. I didn't want to lose my job. And the attorney even told me no one would believe me and he would make my life and my family's lives miserable because I'd actually punched him in the face (so he said he would bring assault charges against me, etc.). I think it's important to shine a light on this kind of behavior and every time another brave person speaks out, the more abusers fear getting caught.
Thanks, Seth, for being an empathetic and supportive listener.
I am truly sorry that you had to experience that and thank you for sharing your story with us ❤ send you much love that you are in a better place now
Ugh. That's such an important story because so many people like to believe that sexual harassment is a case of mutual misunderstanding -- when in fact many harassers do a very careful calculation, picking targets that nobody will believe, at points when they are vulnerable in their careers or vulnerable financially. And then of course when victims do come forward, they are accused of wanting money and not being trustworthy precisely because they are in vulnerable position. (And if they come forward in a book, they are accused of just wanting to sell copies of their book.) I am sorry that happened to you.
@@RVCfilm you're so correct about how abusers operate. It's not a random accident when an abuser selects their target, other than the uncommon case where the guy is totally high and half out of his mind. They look for vulnerability and the least chance of repercussion for their behavior.
You punched him? In self defense? Unfortunately we can't use that either 🙄
So compassionate for Seth to bring this up and I feel so much for Constance in this situation, she’s so strong and sending so much love to her
Can I just say that Seth handled this with a lot of grace and compassion. He saw that she needed a moment and sent us to commercial so Constance could gather herself.
I like how Seth put his hand on the edge of his desk and offered the possibility of comforting touch but left the initiative/decision to her. That was handled well considering the context. Also he didn't address her crying and calmly listened to what she had to say. That's what I wish for whenever I get overwhelmed by my emotions while talking about something important to me.
When I told someone about being drugged and sexually assaulted that person was very much like this … he listened to me and it’s why I liked him.
@@iamsherlocked345 I'm glad you had someone like this to listen to you. Hope you are well!
@@frauwu1900 it made me like my guy more he respected my wish of no fake pity ( my furious anger at finally realizing I’d been drugged didn’t scare him away). Because of him I am seeing a therapist now and have dealt with my anger at he who I don’t name… I say a voodoo doll is too good for him. It’s a process and that feeling of uneasiness is something I’m not used to… so I take everything day by day because it’s how I manage my ptsd/anxiety.
@@iamsherlocked345 I am glad to hear that you are going to therapy and had someone who listened to you and got you the help you needed. That’s a true friend! Of course things will get better, but sometimes we just need one person who believe in you to turn our life around.
@@dorkiecookie honestly deciding to talk about what happened to me was a turning point. I never thought not remembering something would still mean you still know something did happen.
I love when Seth leans into Constance after she shared her Truth, he is such a sensitive and caring person.
As a young woman who has to navigate this adult world by herself a lot, I felt so seen. Everything she shared was so genuine and resonated with me. Never understood the hate she got. I applaud her. It’s so cathartic for me. I feel so vindicated on her behalf.
I'm so happy she was able to open up like this
Hearing Constance share her story, I could swear she was telling my own. I'm humbled by her courage to be so open and vulnerable in that moment. And I am so, so glad to know she is no longer in that situation.
Seth, when you told Constance that when you go to work, it's the work that should be hard, and that it was unfair for her to have to carry that additional burden... it was like something inside me finally clicked back in to place. Thank you. I've been waiting over a decade for someone to say those words.
Seth, I am so glad your guests feel comfortable enough with you to open up like this. I am constantly reminded of reasons why you're my favorite talk show host.
I am now a die-hard fan of hers! Every word she said was totally relatable - if someone does something out of character it really is worth getting curious, because it usually does indicate that something is going on. We are so quick to judge. It is so hard to witness your abuser going about like they are some stellar person. I've lived this with my narc mom. But whatever the scenario, it is re-traumatizing not to be believed. So grateful for her message. And crying is healing! There is no reason to be ashamed for it
Wow. You can tell she has been holding that pain in for awhile. It's ok to have feelings, you are human.
Constance, thank you for writing and sharing. From recognizing the beauty of a mentor standing up for you as a kid, to sharing your emotions about the abuse you endured- you are a total CLASS ACT. ❤
Omg, her talking about trying to move on without confronting that trauma and those feelings catching up to you sooner or later made me become a waterfall because I am literally going through those feelings catching up at this very moment and having to confront them, it is very important to get help, she is so brave, kudos to her
I’m soooooo glad that we are finally allowed to speak about our abuse. 😢 it’s still horrible but not talking about it hurts even more.
I just burst out in tears.. Things that she said is too familiar. Thank you constance for sharing this story and thanks to seth for being kind and makes her feels safe and heard
Curiosity and empathy before judgement. Yes! Love this lady
This is such a powerful interview. 👏🏾 Constance...thank you for sharing.
When she cried, I cried with her. So many of us, woman, man or child, have been through situations that we decide to "take to the grave" because it's easier to. It's hard being crucified for something you did as an act of self-protection. Despite some of the vile responses I've seen on other platforms, I'm so proud of her and hope she focuses on all the positive support. Also a huge fan of her work.
The fact that it’s so closely beneath the surface that easily is brought to tears in just talking around it and not even in detail, demonstrates not only how traumatic it was for, but how vulnerable she feels in sharing it. She’s was incredibly brave to share it and I hope it helps to embolden victims to address their trauma too. 💙
I’m so proud of her!! ❤ those tears are nothing to apologize for!
She is strong and courageous. Those are tears of bravery honestly.
I love how Seth is reaching out to her across the desk to show he’s supporting her. It was hard for her to carry this alone for so long, good for her that she can talk about it now and not carry this in secret anymore. It doesn’t make everything right but at least it makes the burden a little lighter to share it with others.
She's so brave and her vulnerability is STUNNING!
We love you, Constance. Those are tears of bravery.
Seth. Your compassionate support of Constance is a perfect example of exactly HOW to actively listen and respond to others. 🙌
Seth did handle that well… like a loving, compassionate friend and man should. It’s sad that she feels like she needs to apologize for her feelings. But I get her. I get her well.
Between this and “Jokes Seth Cannot Tell [so let’s bring in people who can]” I’m reminded of why Seth is one of my favorite late night hosts ❤❤❤
Dont be sorry for crying! You have every right to cry. I'm sending my hugs and love. ♥️♥️♥️ Thankyou for sharing your story. I'm very sorry that happend to you. I know how this feels.
I feel so much for Constance. She is amazing. I also feel embarrassed if I ever cry in from of others, even when fighting it it comes out. It should be nothing to be ashamed of but still feels like loosing control.
Ms. Constance Wu
You don’t need to apologize, and thank you
I'm very proud of Constance speaking up and coming forward with this abuse. People need to know how difficult of a position this is with the tremendous public pressure to stay silent. The abused are filled with fear of retribution with how we see victim blaming done today. You have my full support.
He was so sensitive to her. He should be do more supportive moments for people in pain.
Good for you for opening up. Those things need to be talked about and we need to stop them happening.
Yes!
Talks about it when she is trying to sell a book.
Man, Constance is amazing. She didn’t have to share her personal trauma, but I hope it is healing to her, and helpful to so many others who have been in the same circumstances. ❤
I don't know her personally but I am so proud of her for standing up for herself. Thank you Constance for sharing and for your bravery
She’s my hero . I’m so grateful for her vulnerable and powerful sharing. The message must be heard
She is so strong. Seth handled this very well
really moving interview. sucks that she felt the need to apologize so much because emotions are nothing to apologize for, they are valid no matter where you are. i'm glad this was on seths show because he's just so genuine he made it comfortable.
That’s difficult thing to open up about no matter how many years has passed
The worse thing is keeping it to yourself which is what most people do which eats people up on the inside and poisons their life.
the way Meyers handled this moment is world-class. I'm glad to hear Constance clear up the situation and I'm excited to see where her career goes moving forward, been a fan since FOTB
I am happy that Constance Wu is letting it all out, sharing what she was not obligation to share , sometimes that is the best thing we can do, really love the way Seth conducts hard topics for his gests, it amazed me how he can be funny and kind at the same time.💕💕💕
Good for Constance on opening up about her past, and kudos to Seth for being supportive there. It’s a sensitive issue but it needs to be addressed publicly so victims don’t have to shoulder the burden alone.
Tears are earned, no need to be sorry for having or feeling emotions.
Very powerful words Ms. Constance. Your strength and empathy are inspiring. I felt every one of those tears. Thank you for sharing your experience, I feel a little less alone.
Seth, as always, a gentleman, a gentle man, genuine, funny, and a scholar of life. Empathy is taught, we are not born with this skill. I am so thankful Seth has set the bar so high!
Thank you.
She was fantastic on Fresh Off the Boat. I'm so impressed by her not bowing down to external pressure. Anybody with a soul can see that she's speaking the truth.
I absolutely love Constance Wu for being so brave, and I also LOVE Seth Meyers for being the most empathetic and compassionate host. Him reaching toward Constance is such a sign of genuine compassion for someone that has gone through pain.
Like Constance said, “we engage in curiosity and empathy before going straight to judgement”, so well said.
I wish I could give her hug. I feel her pain deeply. The amount of times she said sorry...like she reminds me of me during a similarly dark chapter in my life.
Oh Constance ❤️ thank you Seth and team for letting Constance share this in all of its uncomfortable truth. This made me cry and feel so angry at the same time.
Good for her to come out with it, she was awesome in FotB.
She's just so freakin' real, if that's a thing. A breath of fresh air. How she deals with the dark stuff is just amazing. Some people just have a special light.
I love Seth even more for how compassionate he was with her in this moment.
Omg i didn’t think I could love Constance or Seth more than I already did, but I do after this video. Thank you to both for this interview ❤
Protect her at all absolute costs. Seth handled that really well - empathy and compassion for someone experiencing something very real.
thanks to Seth for really providing a comfortable platform for her to speak like this too. love constance
Wow, after reading Jennette McCurdy's biography and now this, it's pretty depressing to see how wide spread this kind of behavior is but kudos to both of them for working through it in a positive manner. 👍 Hopefully these stories encourage others in similar situations to do the same.
Jenette McCurdy, Elizabeth Giles, and so many others had it worse, way worse than what they were dare to say in a book. Not to diminish what Constance Wu has experienced, but a lot of (ex)-child stars have experienced worse sexual abuse since they were young, with their parents look at the other way...
I believe Jenette over this bed wench any day.
Gillies married a much older man proving grooming was in there somewhere along the way...
This interview is terrific. She’s great, super honest and fun (heard of her but never saw her work), Seth is friendly, fun, and still respectful. In about 6 minutes.
As a fellow victim I can see that it is still too fresh to her to talk about it, that's why the crying and the "sorry for crying". Once you've been sort of free of the abuse/abuser and It doesn't hold you so much, you know It's okay to cry, to be serious, to make fun or light of anything kinda related to it... I wish her so well, she's in a path to light, power and just overall good in her life 🖤
Class act as always there Seth! Well handled.! And thank you Constance, you are the strength we need displayed
Constance Wu is my girl! Very powerful interview, well said part at the end about showing empathy.
I teared up too. Over both stories ❤
That was so sweet how Seth let her take that space to get it all out and I am so glad he takes the time to ask those questions that can be hard and painful too. Thank you for letting her know that folks care and believe in her.
What a brave and wonderful young woman
Wow I remember the hate this lady got and infact when I saw who it was I was like "isn't she supposed to be stuck up and ungrateful". She's exactly right, you don't know what's happening behind the scenes. So glad this didn't tarnish her career as it did with so many others. Her continued success is the best revenge on that slimeball
I’m so happy you’re still here with us, Constance! A beautiful example of how harmful such tribalistic judgment that exists on social media is and how much it hurts people. We all have feelings and emotions! I wish we could love and have more compassion for others.
I'm so proud of her we need this out in the open. She's amazing and brave!
This is so heartbreaking. She's very talented. And this was a lovely interview that even got a comedy call-back to the drama teacher!
What a really honest and beautiful interview. She's incredibly brave for writing about it and I hope this helps her heal more than reopening old wounds ♥️
God bless her! it breaks my heart how many times she apologizes just for crying. Girls feel how you feel! There is no shame in vulnerability and being honest with yourself and others about what you're feeling. There is only power and healing.
Seth handled that with grace too and made her feel proud and not uncomfortable. That was beautiful to watch.
This was incredibly brave of Constance and Seth handled it like a pro, but it shattered my heart into a million pieces when she thanked him for not making fun of her. We treat each other terribly, and for what? And unfortunately there are plenty of men in this very comment section who are showing us exactly why women fear speaking up about abuse.
Cannot WAIT to read her book! What powerful stories. I’m so glad she found her voice; the courage she has displayed is just astounding. Just ordered it!
I don't usually watch interviews but I got to say: Constance is a warrior. Mad respect for your talent and your strength of character. You are a force to be reckoned with and never to be challenged. Power to you.
She didn’t deserve what she went through. It’s so brave she’s being so vulnerable - it must be scary for her. She deserves all the love now. 💜💜💜
Thank you, Constance, for your bravery in sharing your truth.
Thank you, Seth, for putting your guest first, taking care of her, and not trying to milk this moment. Well done.
As a big fan of her and FOTB, I feel terrible that I just thought she was sick of the show itself and expressed it tactlessly. She's so right that if someone's acting out of character, you should think about why instead of rushing to the worst conclusion.
I was going to leave a comment praising Constance for her extraordinary display of vulnerability, honesty, and strength. But the people who commented before me have each summed it up so perfectly. 🙏🏻❤️
I’m proud of her as if she was my own daughter! Been the only boy in my home, made me appreciate all that women have to go through. I hope my daughters are as valiant as she is❤
how she explained everything was so relatable!!!! all I wanted to do during the interview was hug her
Her character in Fresh off the Boat was my favorite and this whole time I'm laughing this woman was suffering.
My teachers hated me too. Nice to hear you had a good one.
I was really critical of Constance when she had that outburst on twitter a long time ago but of course we didn't know what she was going through and I feel really bad that I thought so negatively of her. But she is super strong for sharing her story and being able to stand up to her abuser and Seth showing her nothing but kindness and compassion. I really hope that nothing but positve things come her way 💖💖
She’s a wonderful actor, I’m glad she’s back!❤
She is a LEGEND! Her voice deserves to be heard!!! Rooting for her there are more stories she must tell!!!!
Constance is such an amazing person.