If people give me their absence, they are effectively teaching me how to live without them. That's what happends, I learn to love & prioritise myself first
The absence is for ME. To heal, to gain perspective, to enforce/discover my boundaries, to regain self-control and detach from toxicity. What the other person does is up to them.
It’s shocking how Women’s Magic Truths on Borlest isn’t being discussed. The book is full of life-changing insights, yet no one seems to notice. Time to break the trance and read it yourself!
Personally, when I’m available, we better enjoy each other, if you make me start feeling unattended to for some time and I see no change, once I decide to move on I don’t look back again
To me as well, if somebody is playing hard to get time, I might be bit out if control for little time, but than I lost interrest. WE need to spend time together to know each other, do when I dont get it, I move on...
There are neurodivergent people where absence has no affect, these individuals love consistently, whether they see you or not. Missing another isn’t a factor.
True. But let’s not exaggerate how common that is. There are genuine neurotypical people. And there are those who need to stop being selfish children, pathologizing their selfishness. It isn’t neurodivergent to be weird, awkward, shy, or to miss social cues. That happens. Some neurodivergent people happen to present that way. We are a population of people who need to get some maturity and empathy. Work on ourselves a bit. Most of us, aren’t special. Sorry.
@@ScottFromNebraska that’s a question of discipline. If it hurts your partner or friends, you work on yourself. I have ADHD. It is not an excuse for my bad, neglectful behaviour. It allows me to know what is wrong, so I can fix it. I see a lot of “I’m THIS way and I’m helpless to fix it!” That’s rubbish.
@@Challenger2A7If a relationship was meaningful - it's "Absence makes the heart grow fonder". If it was superficial - it's "out of sight out of mind".
My man and I fell in love and kept our heads on straight by creating some space, just like you said. We lived in separate houses and didn’t move in together for several years.
This is the dream actually i like this idea. Having contact but I don't wanna be living together forever right there 24/7. Your house SHOULD be your isolation chamber.
Don't know why but this never work for me. When someone I like is away from me, I think the first 1,2 times yeah actually works, but after that I get used to it and I start to forget about the person..
This tactic doesn’t work on a person who has stable sense of self esteem and is busy with their life. In fact, people like those walk away after 2-3 times of game playing because the instability throws them off their tracks which is NOT good if they have a purpose and mission in life (business, degree, volunteering..etc.).
Me too, if someone ignores me or is absent on purpose, in max 2 weeks, I start to redefine their place in my life bc I hate instability and dependant on someone. I’ve been through it and now I ran away from such behavior whenever I notice.
Dude my guy. I started listening to you in my early 20s. I’ve put your teachings into practice. And perfected it over time. Now my guy, I have guys wrapped around my finger. It’s amazing to harness my true feminine power. I feel kinda bad that they hurt when I go ghost but man… better than getting played and being weak lol! Ladies, this guy will change your life if you a sense.
Except when you are dealing with a dismissive avoidant. They don’t fall in love easily and yes with them, absence does make the heart fonder. These tactics work on dismissive people. So if you have a dismissive, use these tactics. They do work.
Nah man I just think long periods of absence where the other person does not communicate what's going on and why they're unavailable, IS manipulative period. It may not be manipulative but still malicious either way. Attachment styles be damned.
@@Darkempress45 dealing with a dismissive avoidant. Every word is true and I'm now fed up. After a certain period of time you just get tried of their absence and not being there. I like this man but it's too much to take being ignored for days. I guess i should move on to next.
I understand why this works but it’s a trauma bond and not real love. You’re getting addicted to a person hence the withdraws. True love is much different and stable.
I feel also like in our absence men fantasize about what we are and build all these expectations and when they come back, we are still that same person but don’t meet his fantasy and he pulls away again. Maybe I’m wrong
It’s crazy. Humans don’t like being like myself. So being “in love” can easily be mistaken for not wanting to be lonely. You don’t want that person, but you don’t want to be alone either🙌🏾.
Your look, the background & the calmness when you speak is great. I can actually hear what youre saying without getting distracted like before cos you used to bang that stick & I used to get distracted 😂 You're getting better Alex!
I don’t know, I had magnetic attraction and connection toward somebody I met when I first met them. It was a soul connection but I agree with you, the more absence he has from me I fall deeper. Even 25 years apart and reconnecting again… it was clear our connection is deeper, cause the attraction and love is still there. 🙏🏻💫❤️🔥
Has anyone ever thought how sad it is that we (I mean the human race) have to even do these things in relationships. Does it not show a fundamental flaw with the human psych and human nature in general. Im a deep thinker.
We are not perfect beings. Look at it his way, we are born unable to naturally come out the womb like those but people will dedicate their whole lives to trying to get closer to the image of perfection. We are just trying love❤
It’s because most people are insecure and seek validation and pleasure in other people. These tactics don’t work on a person who has high self esteem and is busy.
Absence gives me spiritual clarity on rather you are meant to be apart of my energy..Im no longer available for energy vampires.... especially those with many options 🤔
Compatibility is learned, it is part of the give and take of love. The amazing growth possibilities. Rising to the occasion of love is an amazing act. There is nothing else like it. Non compatibility is a sad excuse.
You better like me while you got the chance to because once that feeling change and I feel you don't prioritize me like I do you, no looking back... Sarah looked back and turned into a pillar of salt.
You are so wise and enlightened. How and when did you receive all your wisdom ? I'm definitely learning from you. You are the Real Deal. Thank you Alex!.😊
Habituation doesn’t just happen with love, it just happens with attachment. They just do enough to keep getting their validation from you, but they get their validation from others also.
I just started watching your videos like right now and you have hit some major pointers on what you were saying and I truly appreciate you sharing your insight. I appreciate you completely. Thank you so much for sharing. Very wise. So many things you pointed out just helped me so much.
That’s not love if you are getting use to someone being around, especially when you are lonely. It’s like if you are rebounding from a past failed relationship, and latching all those love feelings on a new person.
I have ADHD and you are right!!!! Yet with how life has thrown me in a loop, I've been single for 12 years, and I like this guy a lot. Of course, I want to have that golden retriever energy and express my feelings, but I pull back... a lot. Once I noticed how he does things for me to make sure I'm ok and not stressed out, I'm like, "What is this??". I'm not used to that kind of treatment, especially being in survival mode for 3 years. Technically, 12 years, because of my divorce. So, now, I still pull back because I want a guy to come to me first. The energy I feel is intense, but I have to back up. I have to book "power of now" by Eckhart Tolle, but I haven't read it yet. For the first time I can actually see how a guy can care about me. I never really experienced that. But we shall see what happens.
Love how bubbly and positive your videos are! Do you mind sharing what you do full time to be able to afford this lifestyle (and still remain so positive and light hearted?)? Clearly I need a career change 😂
Spaciousness in a relationship is healthy. A natural flow of doing what we do individually and as a couple feels good. I think we can all agree that balance in this area is important. "Pulling back" to make one feel something is manipulative. I would rather be in a relationship based on love than one of addiction. It's not respectful to push and pull on people like that. It brings what could be a sacred bond into being a game of magnets.
I don’t know what to think. We broke up before and the last time we got back together, he immediately was telling me he loved me and he wanted to be in a relationship. So we were for almost 2 months and then he started treating me bad And he’s the one that ended it ! wtf 🤬 ? Toxic trauma bond NOT LOVE - he never missed me he let me go every time!
This was the best of the absolute best!!❤️❤️It was the "Let them breathe motherfucker!" that cracked me up. Insecurity creates romanticism, space creates anxiety. Epileptic episode?😂😂 Your explanations and analogies are superb!! Lol The other person being calm can also signify that they are seeing other people too. Thanks again gor all your tips.🙏🏾☺️
..what if they hide thier anxiaety??..I always do that myself: behind the doors I go crazy, desperate and anxious; once I recieve their text/invitation I react caaaaalmly!
The silence around Women’s Magic Truths on Borlest is unbelievable. This book reveals powerful techniques, yet people remain unaware. Don't miss out - discover what everyone's ignoring!
The lack of buzz around Women’s Magic Truths on Borlest is baffling. This book holds the key to amazing secrets, but no one seems to care. Don’t stay in the dark - find out what everyone’s missing!
I just ended a 17 year relationship. We aren’t married but we have two kids together. This pass year he got into drugs and to top it off the infidelity. I went through a lot of Sh!t with this man but I’m not willing to put myself and kids through this. He chose his path and it’s not with his family.
If people give me their absence, they are effectively teaching me how to live without them. That's what happends, I learn to love & prioritise myself first
You're not a man. Men are wired differently
THIS!! 👆
I forget they exist. It’s too easy for me to have out of sight out of mind mentality. So the more space is not good for the other person.
Exactly 😂
Out of sight out of mind
The absence is for ME. To heal, to gain perspective, to enforce/discover my boundaries, to regain self-control and detach from toxicity. What the other person does is up to them.
‼️‼️‼️‼️
All of this 👏🏽
Yesss
It’s shocking how Women’s Magic Truths on Borlest isn’t being discussed. The book is full of life-changing insights, yet no one seems to notice. Time to break the trance and read it yourself!
I like you. At first your videos gave manipulation… but you’ve evolved and it’s lovely to see. Kudos to you, my man!
Yup! He is maturing
Personally, when I’m available, we better enjoy each other, if you make me start feeling unattended to for some time and I see no change, once I decide to move on I don’t look back again
Same!
Amen.
@@jklmnoqr
Amen
To me as well, if somebody is playing hard to get time, I might be bit out if control for little time, but than I lost interrest. WE need to spend time together to know each other, do when I dont get it, I move on...
Side note: I love those stairs
House tour pls!! 🙏
There are neurodivergent people where absence has no affect, these individuals love consistently, whether they see you or not. Missing another isn’t a factor.
so true so so so true im adhd and i forget about people and im not being mean
I agree. You can love someone without obsessive/ codependent tendencies
Absolutely. Platonically. Romantically.
True. But let’s not exaggerate how common that is. There are genuine neurotypical people. And there are those who need to stop being selfish children, pathologizing their selfishness. It isn’t neurodivergent to be weird, awkward, shy, or to miss social cues. That happens. Some neurodivergent people happen to present that way. We are a population of people who need to get some maturity and empathy. Work on ourselves a bit. Most of us, aren’t special. Sorry.
@@ScottFromNebraska that’s a question of discipline. If it hurts your partner or friends, you work on yourself. I have ADHD. It is not an excuse for my bad, neglectful behaviour. It allows me to know what is wrong, so I can fix it. I see a lot of “I’m THIS way and I’m helpless to fix it!” That’s rubbish.
When you are absent from my life and I find more peace without you than with you, it makes me regret having to spend time with you.
Ahahahaha
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. ❤
Maybe to an extent
"Out of sight, out of mind." I don't know which of these two sayings is more accurate! 😂
@@Challenger2A7If a relationship was meaningful - it's "Absence makes the heart grow fonder". If it was superficial - it's "out of sight out of mind".
Love is the most powerful drug.
My man and I fell in love and kept our heads on straight by creating some space, just like you said. We lived in separate houses and didn’t move in together for several years.
This is the best way tbh.
You’re smart.
This is the dream actually i like this idea. Having contact but I don't wanna be living together forever right there 24/7. Your house SHOULD be your isolation chamber.
Smart move
Don't know why but this never work for me. When someone I like is away from me, I think the first 1,2 times yeah actually works, but after that I get used to it and I start to forget about the person..
This tactic doesn’t work on a person who has stable sense of self esteem and is busy with their life. In fact, people like those walk away after 2-3 times of game playing because the instability throws them off their tracks which is NOT good if they have a purpose and mission in life (business, degree, volunteering..etc.).
ADHD? I feel the same..
Same here. I get to do my own thing n eventually forget about them. Thats y i have never gone back to any ex.
Me too 😂
Me too, if someone ignores me or is absent on purpose, in max 2 weeks, I start to redefine their place in my life bc I hate instability and dependant on someone. I’ve been through it and now I ran away from such behavior whenever I notice.
Dude my guy. I started listening to you in my early 20s. I’ve put your teachings into practice. And perfected it over time. Now my guy, I have guys wrapped around my finger. It’s amazing to harness my true feminine power. I feel kinda bad that they hurt when I go ghost but man… better than getting played and being weak lol! Ladies, this guy will change your life if you a sense.
Btw I’ll be 30 this year it took time and experimenting
Wait what… he’s had this channel for that long? I regret not finding eat earlier!! It’s so great!
Except when you are dealing with a dismissive avoidant. They don’t fall in love easily and yes with them, absence does make the heart fonder. These tactics work on dismissive people. So if you have a dismissive, use these tactics. They do work.
Nah man I just think long periods of absence where the other person does not communicate what's going on and why they're unavailable, IS manipulative period. It may not be manipulative but still malicious either way. Attachment styles be damned.
@@aladdout9454 yeh depends on whether you want to be their therapist or just move on and find the next
@@Darkempress45 dealing with a dismissive avoidant. Every word is true and I'm now fed up. After a certain period of time you just get tried of their absence and not being there. I like this man but it's too much to take being ignored for days. I guess i should move on to next.
It doesn't. I just move on. Instead, this gives me a reason to dismiss and avoid that person and feeling.
"toxic people fall in love really fast".. ☑️☑️💯
Well done. Brutally honest. Delivered with compassion and humor.
Treat every relationship as a handful of mud ~
Never squeeze, the relationship will slip through you fingers.
Walk away ~ they come running back 💯
I was a total crackhead 😂 he got me with the cuddling and oxytocin
Omg me too 😭😭
Same 😭
bro!
Hate it when they do that. Acting like they are interested in being a couple just to get what they want.
@@ladyindigo1649 fact
absence is peaceful absence is calm absence is bliss
I understand why this works but it’s a trauma bond and not real love. You’re getting addicted to a person hence the withdraws. True love is much different and stable.
Yeasss true love is much more different and stable
None of these being talked about is real love lol
You’re speaking facts. All I can do is smile and nod my head during this entire video.
I feel also like in our absence men fantasize about what we are and build all these expectations and when they come back, we are still that same person but don’t meet his fantasy and he pulls away again. Maybe I’m wrong
It’s crazy. Humans don’t like being like myself. So being “in love” can easily be mistaken for not wanting to be lonely. You don’t want that person, but you don’t want to be alone either🙌🏾.
That’s codependency
I know now Its why they say absent makes the heart grow fonder
I really like he talks to you like ur one of his friends (Real) & his advice is Excellent!! Ty!!
Your look, the background & the calmness when you speak is great. I can actually hear what youre saying without getting distracted like before cos you used to bang that stick & I used to get distracted 😂 You're getting better Alex!
doing crack on top of a mountain 🤣..father Alex is so funny man!
I don’t know, I had magnetic attraction and connection toward somebody I met when I first met them. It was a soul connection but I agree with you, the more absence he has from me I fall deeper. Even 25 years apart and reconnecting again… it was clear our connection is deeper, cause the attraction and love is still there. 🙏🏻💫❤️🔥
Reminder: Now is a great time to like this vid. It's easy to forget while listening 😊
Aye a true friend ❤
This entire video calls me out in so many areas...thank you!
Abscense is the best manipulation tactic ngl. If they love you they will act accordingly if they dont thry werent the one 😂
This is why people fall in love with co-workers so often.
Has anyone ever thought how sad it is that we (I mean the human race) have to even do these things in relationships. Does it not show a fundamental flaw with the human psych and human nature in general. Im a deep thinker.
We are not perfect beings. Look at it his way, we are born unable to naturally come out the womb like those but people will dedicate their whole lives to trying to get closer to the image of perfection.
We are just trying love❤
It’s because most people are insecure and seek validation and pleasure in other people. These tactics don’t work on a person who has high self esteem and is busy.
In the seventies there was equality in love relationship's in young people. People are very different now....complicated....fucked up...
I love this man
He makes so much sense
Strip them off the opportunity. Powerful words
I really enjoy your videos and your energy is fantastic. I like your sense of humour. Thank you father Alex!
You have me cracking the f' up. I ❤ it!
This was the magic I needed. Thank you.
Absence gives me spiritual clarity on rather you are meant to be apart of my energy..Im no longer available for energy vampires.... especially those with many options 🤔
I'm 3 videos in. Now, I'm hooked.
Absence makes me fall deeply in love with myself !!
Very well said, man! I see you are coming from a place of self love. I like what you said about connecting to self through meditation.
Put God firdt..He's the addiction. Then he'll send you a love that will blow your mind. No one wants to be used
Compatibility is learned, it is part of the give and take of love. The amazing growth possibilities. Rising to the occasion of love is an amazing act. There is nothing else like it. Non compatibility is a sad excuse.
You better like me while you got the chance to because once that feeling change and I feel you don't prioritize me like I do you, no looking back... Sarah looked back and turned into a pillar of salt.
I love this guy, he just called me a mother fucker 😂😂😂
I can't get over your hair in this video. It is the best. Your hair has a wonderful life of it's own 👏👏🩷🤍
Alex, you are one of the funniest people on the planet! You just naturally make us laugh because you're so real. Thank you for what you do!
❤. Alex has been doing this a long time
You are so wise and enlightened. How and when did you receive all your wisdom ? I'm definitely learning from you. You are the Real Deal. Thank you Alex!.😊
Habituation doesn’t just happen with love, it just happens with attachment.
They just do enough to keep getting their validation from you, but they get their validation from others also.
Appreciate the different perspective. You're very educated on this matter being so young. Bravo
Love ur set up beautiful Alex
Your voice is my therapy
This was perfect! I appreciate your perspective on this. You’re spot on.
We look alike. And you’re super insightful. ❤
Y’all actually do look alike haha
@@abloomingtulipthey do ! Lol
I giggled through this, you are funny, this was so well elaborated, l♡ve it, well done 🙌
You’re cracked out my dude 😂
Also Alex I love you💜 you be speaking to me without judgement
“Let’s do crack on the mountain! Sounds great”🤣❤️🙏🏽
I just started watching your videos like right now and you have hit some major pointers on what you were saying and I truly appreciate you sharing your insight. I appreciate you completely. Thank you so much for sharing. Very wise. So many things you pointed out just helped me so much.
This is very true. Great video.
Your knowledge is deep and help me to understand more the nature human, thank you for sharing this wisdom, bless to you..
That’s not love if you are getting use to someone being around, especially when you are lonely. It’s like if you are rebounding from a past failed relationship, and latching all those love feelings on a new person.
I have ADHD and you are right!!!! Yet with how life has thrown me in a loop, I've been single for 12 years, and I like this guy a lot. Of course, I want to have that golden retriever energy and express my feelings, but I pull back... a lot. Once I noticed how he does things for me to make sure I'm ok and not stressed out, I'm like, "What is this??". I'm not used to that kind of treatment, especially being in survival mode for 3 years. Technically, 12 years, because of my divorce. So, now, I still pull back because I want a guy to come to me first. The energy I feel is intense, but I have to back up. I have to book "power of now" by Eckhart Tolle, but I haven't read it yet. For the first time I can actually see how a guy can care about me. I never really experienced that. But we shall see what happens.
When a guy start spending money and taken care of your needs is how you know he likes you 😊
Love how bubbly and positive your videos are! Do you mind sharing what you do full time to be able to afford this lifestyle (and still remain so positive and light hearted?)? Clearly I need a career change 😂
"Melissa the white girl" 😆
I love your video. It feel like you are speaking truth to myself. Thank you
This video was very useful and informative!! Thank you so much 😘
1000% corretto 🙌
This is so right on ! 💯
This is actually great. Please keep up these videos
This is so on time for me. Thank you.
Interesting❤ so a solution could be to have different sources for validation ..welcome to my toxic world. But i am improving definatly 😊
That’s more like a narcissist.
Charismatic & authentic 🙏🙌
this makes so much sense, thank you baba alex. You've been talking sense to me for years now =)
I giggled at Bumblefuckery. Thank you for that. You made some great comparisons.
Wow what a great video. I had moments of laughter, and aha moments. ❤
YOU ARE SO AWESOME AND SO COOL 😊❤😊 YOU TALK THE TRUTH 😊
Spaciousness in a relationship is healthy. A natural flow of doing what we do individually and as a couple feels good. I think we can all agree that balance in this area is important. "Pulling back" to make one feel something is manipulative. I would rather be in a relationship based on love than one of addiction. It's not respectful to push and pull on people like that. It brings what could be a sacred bond into being a game of magnets.
Thank you! I always learn a lot with you! 🙏🏻❣️
Melissa the white girl is going to get me.😂😂😂😂 I dying 😂😂😂
Thank u for this, needed it 🙏🏻
I love you Alex. You are a fantastic teacher ❤❤❤
I don’t know what to think. We broke up before and the last time we got back together, he immediately was telling me he loved me and he wanted to be in a relationship.
So we were for almost 2 months and then he started treating me bad
And he’s the one that ended it ! wtf 🤬 ?
Toxic trauma bond NOT LOVE - he never missed me he let me go every time!
Lots of great stuff said here man. Really good!!!
Absence mean you don't care you can't be bothered to make the effort
What about if they’re avoidant?
This was the best of the absolute best!!❤️❤️It was the "Let them breathe motherfucker!" that cracked me up. Insecurity creates romanticism, space creates anxiety. Epileptic episode?😂😂 Your explanations and analogies are superb!! Lol The other person being calm can also signify that they are seeing other people too. Thanks again gor all your tips.🙏🏾☺️
..what if they hide thier anxiaety??..I always do that myself: behind the doors I go crazy, desperate and anxious; once I recieve their text/invitation I react caaaaalmly!
The thing I learnt the most from this video is that I've actually never been loved 🤣. Eh. Oh well.
I use to be like this but now I feel nothing, I’m a cold a$$ bee…. 😂
OK but if they are unhealthy and you are unhealthy as in both addictive personalities it may not be love but rather just addicted to not being alone
The silence around Women’s Magic Truths on Borlest is unbelievable. This book reveals powerful techniques, yet people remain unaware. Don't miss out - discover what everyone's ignoring!
The lack of buzz around Women’s Magic Truths on Borlest is baffling. This book holds the key to amazing secrets, but no one seems to care. Don’t stay in the dark - find out what everyone’s missing!
Great video!! Enlightened!!💡
I just ended a 17 year relationship. We aren’t married but we have two kids together. This pass year he got into drugs and to top it off the infidelity. I went through a lot of Sh!t with this man but I’m not willing to put myself and kids through this. He chose his path and it’s not with his family.
This space is so weird. Its like inbetween two buildings outdoors. (Even though i know it's not.)
Love you! You're the best!
Nice music there
I ❤ your channel