Meanwhile… Antibiotics In Chick-fil-A | NFL’s New Kickoff | Pet DNA Test Scandal
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 มี.ค. 2024
- Meanwhile… Chick-fil-A ditched their promise to never feed antibiotics to their chickens, the NFL announced new rules for kicking off gameplay, and a local news exposé revealed that popular DNA tests for pets may be a total scam.
#Colbert #Comedy #Meanwhile
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![Deadline: White House [4PM] 5/8/2024 | 🅼🆂🅽🅱️🅲 BREAKING NEWS Today May 8, 2024](/img/n.gif)
The researchers that concluded our homes are too clean have clearly never been in my apartment.
Yeah nor mine 😂
Usually, comment sections do more mental harm than good. But sometimes, just sometimes folks, they remind you that you aren't alone in your disgustingness.
Thank you, Internet.
Now somebody has to send a dog swab to 23 and Me and see what they come up with.
Brilliant!
Had the same thought... 😁
people have collected their dogs' drool and were given human results from it.
So I'm not 68% British Isles?@@monapause8108
@@monapause8108 Bull.
"eating poison & bangin' gutter doves", describes #america perfectly bigly 😂
Sounded to me like a description of tRUMP 😊
Antibiotics are used more in the close quarters of factory farming, so it's a clue that they're buying from an environment that is very uncomfortable for the birds
More uncomfortable than our stomachs? 😮
Its tyson
Back in the '40s some food scientist gave antibiotics to chickens and it turned out they got more meat per bird. It isn't done for treating disease, they feed it to the whole flock. Unfortunately, this breeds antibiotic resistance and should not be done in a wise practice. Greed wins out over good practice. Karl
"Uncomfortable" is a pretty soft way of describing, "so tight they can't turn around and sometimes their feet grow around the bars of the cages."
@@karlfisher1864 it's for PREVENTING disease. Because birds live in such crowded and unsanitary conditions, they easily develop infections. Preemptive use of antibiotics allows for increased profit by producing more kg of poultry meat per invested $ (animal activity and feed, housing and harvesting all decrease in cost with more intensive coops).
I am enjoying the reference to pigeons as “Gutter Doves” way too much
How have I never heard them called that before 😂
That's because "winged rat" is more accurate.
@stoverwboo I mean, pigeons and doves are the same birds, so... not really?
@@RabblesTheBinx
Got curious and looked it up. Same family of bird; different sub-species
So similar but not the same
@@TheMulToyVerse the proper name for pigeons is literally "rock dove". Literally all members of that family can be referred to as either doves or pigeons. There is no scientific difference, or even consistent linguistic difference, between the two terms. "Pidgeon" and "dove" are both terms that can be applied to any extant member of the Columbidae family.
It's unfortunate that they are so sadly misunderstood and maligned.
Pigeons are intelligent, sensitive, loyal, wonderful birds.
wow I have another reason not to buy any "food" from yet another fastfood joint. Aside from an average meal hovering $20. It's like paying your own hitman. Like an installment plan for death. Buy a little here, a little there, then all of a sudden the bill comes due and you hit the floor from a deadly MI.
Those graphics look like Terry Gilliams' work in Monty Python.
"Dinsdale..."
@@liamwalsh4008 We had a cat named Dinsdale. 😆👍
@@robertaldaron8617 Ha! Brilliant. Did he have a hedgehog nemesis called Spiny Norman?
@liamwalsh4008 No, but we also had a pet skunk for awhile named "Blind Pew."
@@robertaldaron8617 Aha. Got him from Buenos Aires via the Panama Canal, I've no doubt.
Couldn't help but almost spit out my coffee at the end of: "Meanwhile" when he said: "Worth it!" regarding the parasite in a man's brain.
All I could hear was Homer Simpson saying "Mmmm.. bacon".
Crispy bacon FTW!
@@yudithcaron8053
I was thinking the same thing. I love bacon, but it has to be crispy. Don’t give me limp bacon.
He didn't just die doing what he loved, Stephen. Flaco died reminding us to make the world safer for birds. This includes bird-safe buildings and window treatments and reducing the use of poisons and pesticides.
Yeah, what about bird herpes? That's why we need to make condoms available for all flyaway owls.
@@robertmadrigal6783 That stuff never goes away. Take my word for it.
These days they say every bird has pigeon herpes
Is this why Chick-fil-A is allowing antibiotics in chickens 😮 @@lindencurhart1949
@@lindencurhart1949 They being the ones with pigeon herpes.
Whoever pitched "Gutter doves" is not being paid enough.
I believe that term was coined back in the Victorian age as a term for prostitute.
"Gutter dove" sounds exactly like a Victorian slang term for prostitute.
I used the Underground for nearly 10 years. I’m all topped up on germs for life.
Flaco's story is an important reminder to those using poisons to kill pests... when the pest ingests that poison whatever eats it gets poisoned too... Pests are awful yes, but literally poisoning the ecosystem is not the answer... Flaco is a singular Owl how many other birds of prey are dying in that city because of the same issues...
Granted we cant do anything about the pigeon red light district, nor could we ever understand why they are so popular among some bird species.
*avoids all eye contact* yeah... trust me... my home is not "too clean"
I've been saying that about the modern obsession with cleanliness and anti-bacterial everything for a long time.
Me too! I understood it during Covid but kids need a little dirt. My Mom used to say "You're going to eat a bucket of dirt before you die" You'll never develop an immune system if you're never exposed to anything you need to be immune to.
My Mother agreed with you. She was a good housekeeper, but would not use antibacterial stuff. She lived to be 95!
Yes! It turns out the more babies are exposed to the less likely they are to have serious allergies as well.
it's also not something completely new. there have been many studies who claimed to have found a link between asthma and too clean homes. aka children growing up in the countryside, with farms, playing outside and stuff, being healthier that super-clean city children.
though you should ALWAYS wash your hands after a visit to a bathroom, because if not that's just gross.
1:46
Coulda been "Kyle says you have umlimited crabs."
It was RIGHT THERE! Cmon!
Poor owl was probably eating poisoned rats and sick pigeons.
No problems with my home being too clean. But now I have an excellent excuse. Thanks, science!
I read all of your comments with Zapp's voice in my brain.
Clean home, dirty home... When I was a kid, we went outside, touched grass, ingested incidental amounts of dirt, climbed trees, got road rash from bad bicycle jumps, caught frogs, pet outdoor dogs and cats...
Now these computer-connected kids have to get their inoculations of the real world via countertops?
@@MonkeyJedi99 "When I was a kid, we went outside..." - I suspect that the idiots telling us our homes are too clean are the same ones who told people to not get vaccinated against SARS-CoV-2 and that people should intentionally get infected instead to achieve "herd immunity".
The only thing worse than carrying your own poop down the mountain IN A BAG, is STEPPING IN SOMEONE ELSE’S POOP ON YOUR WAY UP OR DOWN A DAMN MOUNTAIN
When Everest top cover melts, its gonna be a shitshow
yeah lost of fresh meat for decomposes
Flaco may have had four kinds of rat poison -- but, hey, no antibiotics!
Straight to the grill
Falco was a one bird-species sexist. No chickens for this owl, pigeon sex only!!!
😂😂😂
unvaxx'ed
Don't give them any ideas.
We're already repeating the mistakes of the past century.
Looking forward to the debut of the book The jungle 2.0.
New lyrics for McDonald's jingle "because we're not fat enough"
Skip their lousy hockey puck burgers anyway. Go for the doughnuts and coffee 👍
@@freya8133meh, i'd rather get fat at my independent donut shop
The donuts are the buns.
but they're already selling a variety of desserts. adding this item won't make them much more unhealthy.
The way Stephen describes his graphics department, it’s almost as if he shares the same one as Seth!
I love seeing your comments on both channels too haha
👏👏👏
Love them both 🤣🤣
I think they might cause their jokes are very similar
All professional graphics departments are the same lol
I didn't catch that Stephen was making up that sports lingo until he said uno 😅
This goes directly to Tyson. They provide chicken to all fast food chains, public schools, and grocery stores.
This is why most Am3ric4n food is LITERALLY illegal hare in the EU
They hire immigrant children. Bad scene inside their butchering facilities. Tyson is no bueno.
One more reason to boycott animal products! The overuse of antibiotics in animal agriculture will produce a pathogen which cannot be cured by antibiotics. It is just a matter of time. Animal agriculture likes to use so much to make the animals grow faster, and to allow them to be in crowded conditions. That also increases profits and the chances of more epidemics and pandemics.
@@someguy2135 pet food is another disaster; and I have a theory about ADD, ADHD, and high fructose and dyes. See Man Shares Foods that are banned in EU but legal in US. Dyes in particular are believed to be connected to ADD, and ADHD.
@@liberatedwoman I am glad we agree that animal agriculture is a disaster. Could you clarify what you mean about pet food? Speculation is fine, but only because it can lead to scientific studies. That is what should guide us. The science tells us to stop over using antibiotics to increase profits, but lobbyists paid by those who profit prevent our elected leaders from passing laws against it, at least here in the USA. I heard that Canada is an exception, so it shows that it can be done.
Crispy Bacon Saves Lives!
Just think what extra crispy bacon can do for humanity!
antibiotics in commercial chicken is old news. commercial meats in general are horrifyingly unsafe without strong sanitation.
Wait till Billy Bob screams for more toiletpapaer from the back of the trailer & finds out his wife just sent their last $59.99 to buy Trump's Bible. LOL
Don't forget all the college kids. Most of the HUNDREDS of college kids I worked with during that election year voted for Trump. They wanted entertainment, thought he would be fun. Stop thinking only hillbillies voted for him. There are plenty of muckrakers in college right now. Again. They love excitement. Who you think they will vote for this time?
I loved Flaco. How tragic.
Steve will want to cross a multi-day rafting trip thru the Grand Canyon off the bucket list as well.
Moral of the story:
Crispy bacon is better for you
I did one of those pet dna tests and found out that I am part dog too.
I am a mog.
Half man half dog.
I am my own best friend.
I take myself for walks.
what are your pronouns?
Now selling...McKrispy Artery Clogger or Big Makattack
Swap out the burger buns for a couple glazed donuts! Throw donut chunks in the shake! Stuff a mcnugget into a donut hole and float it in a vat of high fructose syrup soda! 🧑🍳💥❤🩹🚑🏥⚰
After watching a documentary on Parasites years ago, I cringe when I see people eat raw meat (or insufficiently cooked meat). 🤢
Part of me wants to google Bacon Brain Parasites, and the other 90per cent of me doesn't..... 🤢
Let me tell you about swordfish....
@@dianedenham5259 it sounds like trichinosis. Vegetarian fed pigs don't get it, it's more common in wild boars and he was likely eating boar bacon that was caught wild and not farmed. You can get it from eating bear or cougar meat too.
COUGAR MEAT? Yikes!
But raw fruits and vegetables, on the other hand...
Chick-fil-A is vaccinating folks through their Chicken Sandwiches...😂😂😂
Yeah, how long will it take for the GOP and right-wing medias to try and blame it on the Democrats!
So glad I don’t eat junk food.
Stephen, it was funny 😁
There will be several people who can’t understand the difference between vaccines and antibiotics who will most definitely take this literally.
I was reading somewhere that the big farms have said that they do not inject antibiotics into their chickens. Instead, I believe it is in the feed, so, the big farms are not lying.
If I'm eating at Chick-fil-A, I should probably be on antibiotics anyway.
😂😅
If you're eating at Chick-fil-A you are a religious zealot with no taste buds.
imagine if people started to eat chicken to get over a nasty infection.....
This is how drug resistant mutated strains begin and why this practice should be banned.
@@randomno0 Wellll......better than deadly meats....can you imagine how many dead people McDonald's would have every year?
There could be falling hazards as climbers throw their frozen poop off Mount Everest. Just don’t look up when climbing up.
Chick-fil-A: we're not sure if we cook the chicken properly every time, but here's the anti-biotics just to be sure you ok
Their chicken is garbage anyway.
@@repealthepatriotactyeah, nobody goes there anymore, it's too crowded
@@glennleatherwood4552I'm talking about the chicken. It's well known that it's a low-grade chicken. In fact, Chick-fil-A sells twice as many orders of the waffle fries than they do their chicken. They were absolute marketing geniuses when they went all in on Jesus and have developed a literal cult within a cult......our Jesus freak manager used to bring in the Chick-fil-A mini chicken breakfast sandwiches for our weekly Branch meeting and no one ate them. Because they were garbage, but he kept bringing them in because.....praise Jesus!
@@glennleatherwood4552 Let me get this straight. Nobody goes there anymore... because the lines are too long?
@@anthonywuellner969I believe you missed the sarcasm.
Yesterday my cat slipped me the tongue, so, we're good on germs.
😂
My great grandmother used to say “Everyone has to eat a peck of dirt before they die.” She was a notoriously poor housekeeper…
Wow that IS an old phrase. I've only ever read it!
As long as it's not a bushel, only a peck, you're good.
@@bigeddy602 Better jump down and turn around while you're eating it...
"Studies say our homes are too clean."
*Looks at his room
No...
I'm gathering from the comment section that some folks don't really understand what it is that Stephen does for a living. Wake up and smell the sarcasm, folks.
Duh
Hearing 1 second of Martha My Dear at 6:10 is worth the wait!
Flaco 😭
Who?😏
So... the poop has to go, but the frozen solid dead bodies can stay, yeah?
They're important landmarks, how else am I supposed to find my way back down? 🥶
Its too dificult to move dead bodies in that enviorment
@@VMan29397That's what chain saws are for.
Oh dear!😂😂😂
One or the other... Just so there's no getting them mixed!
6:08 "...worth it..." i too am a breakfast person
the pork parasite has been "documented" in the TV show House MD.
Opening monologue is always epic
“Worth it.”
There are no antibiotics in meat in Canada. It's the law.
Jealous
LMAO. Yes there is. Who told you otherwise? There would be a lot of dead Canadians if they didn't. Maybe you meant there is a law that a certain amount of time has to pass after the antibiotics are injected before the animal is harvested.
Probably the reason Canadians live to the age of Moses. Ryan Reynold, live long and prosper!
@@LifenaDay525 Moses, the mythical leader of the Israelites whose story has been proven to have been influenced by the Ayahuasca plant, and his origin story flat-out plagiarized from another story from a much older civilization.....so the person whose entire life story is a proven lie? Yeah, I suppose the Canadians are living to a make-believe arbitrary number. Do you want to claim next that Methuselah was a real person that lived for hundreds of years?? There's absolutely no documentation that any of those stories are true.....but, yeah, I believe you man......I believe everything some old book says is true......
@@repealthepatriotact It's an expression 🙄
You want your kid exposed to lots of germs? Get him a dog and send him to school.
Yep
they both keep coming home...
Never had Chick-fil-A and never will because of their, like Cracker barrel, discriminatory practices.
I'm an atheist and a liberal woman. I don't care. Food is food. They can believe what they want, that's their business, who am I to tell them what to believe? I never tell religious people what to believe. I don't tell Christians. And I don't tell Muslims. It's their business.
@@SW-dq1nd I'm an atheist liberal woman too. It's one thing for places like Chick-fil-A to believe homosexuality is bad. It's quite another for them to donate to and lobby for legislation that makes life harder for homosexuals, just because they're sexually attracted to the same sex. CFA is essentially telling other people how to live.
too soon to joke about a dead owl 😞
Antibiotic Chick-fil-A, sort of like the Enhanced Games where athletes can use performance-enhancing drugs.
I appreciate the Beatles song "Martha My Dear" briefly at the end there. Paul wrote it for his dog Martha. I enjoy the little subtleties like that 🎹 🎶 🐶
"when i was a kid we swam in raw sewage!" ~George Carlin
Entrained antibiotics is not the only dangerously flakey project that the religious people at Chic Fil A stores are passing out to their customers. The Confederate based corporation also has been "brining" (adding salt) to their recipe for their primary product. Many on low-salt diets are not knowledgeable of Chic Fil A's secret ingredient which could raise their blood pressure to dangerous levels just through consumption of the standard food produced at these outlets which are now practically Nationwide. Southern religeous-based hospitality. 🔥
anyone on a low salt diet are not eating fastfood, and anyone who thinks fast food isn't chalk a block full of salt are idiots or fooling themselves
With a free order of bigotry with every sammich!
“KKK /gun packing/ prolife bullying” southern lands. 😮
The accuracy of human DNA tests is related to having so many samples studied that the common diminutive traits between people from certain parts of the world can be identified.
As dogs rarely have paternity problems or are involved in criminal investigations, etc., the accuracy of those tests will increase when enough samples are collected.
Not long ago, human DNA tests were also famous by their mistakes.
Famous because ironically - dog DNA was sent in to the human DNA testing companies and apparently a lot of dogs are Anglo Saxon. 😆
To be fair the joke about antibiotics and talking to Red lobster It actually would be more accurate if it was your insurance company, because God forbid a doctor could doctor without a non-doctor making the decision to say yes or no.
jokes on them, just walking into my house gets you about 800% of you DRV for Bacteria and other germs
Pet DNA kits for sure do NOT work. My friend adopted a dog that had been a stray from Mexico and wanted to know what her dog's origins were. They gave back results that just didn't fit at all with the size, coat, ears, and like anything about her dog. The company was kind enough to send her another kit free of charge, but the second results were ridiculous as well.
I had a friend use one on her cat and the company told her it was a retriever/doberman mix.
@@KS-PNW this is the advertisement I needed! XD I would do it just for that lol
Sounds more like "I refuse to accept the truth due to my predetermined biases"
@@WillemDafuq69 Yes, yes, like that reporter. She's not actually human, she's just been raised as one. Genius.
@@WillemDafuq69Actually, at least two of those pet DNA companies have been caught BSing customers or just not testing before sending made-up results. There's been several examples in the last years.
So, between people "not accepting" their digs results and the company just plain making it up: you have more verified evudence for the latter.
Oh cool, a perfect dessert to the meal I crave when I lose all self respect!
For Tyler
OMG
Odd, I literally bumped into a guy in Florida last week who told me (we were in a dive bar ordering burgers), "I always ask for them to barely cook my bacon. I don't like it all crispy and crunchy, I like it limp, so it stays on the burger."
gross
One of the funniest Meanwhiles! Thank you
"Meanwhile" is a reminder that there are indeed "strange things under the midnight sun"! Pet DNA testing???? While I can laugh at most of these, I also remind myself that I do need to be careful about the choices I make.
MEANWHILE, in even other news, Pigeon Herpes is apparently a thing.
We could call it Pigeon Pox, so Chicken Pox (which is also herpes) could have a friend....
I've never felt so connected to an owl before in my life.
Was it the pigeon herpes or the rat poison? 😁😁
the owl be like: im gonna open up my own zoo with drugs and hookers....
Considering how many rats he would have eaten over the last six months, I'm shocked they only found 4 kinds.
3:42 "gutter doves".... Imma start using THAT!
That owl did not catch herpes by snogging the pigeons but by _eating_ them.
He was a mighty bird-of-prey.
Yeah, maybe, but the former is funner to think about.
Probably got the rat poison, eating rats, too.
#woosh
Sherpas are the ones who are going to be carrying the poop.
Monty Python chicken sketch!
Donald promoting the bible is ironic
I'm surprised it wasn't covered in a coat of gold colored paint.
It is, but he has set up to play the second cominh since the start.
Martyr tactic going full launch
The Bible must have been treated with Flame Retardant material before he picked it up 😅😂. At least, he held it upright this time.
Underneath the humour, the chicken, bacon and owl stories are pretty alarming about the state of the US food chain and the NY environment.
As long as profits are ok everything is fine.
Have considered getting my rescue pup DNA tested. Wish they'd said which company was used.
McDonalds quietly phasing out the salads and bringing in Krispy Kremes
Jokes aside, poor Flaco's toxicology report reveals the reality for all of NYC's raptors. Please do NOT use rat poisons of any type. Let Nature balance Nature.
been boy cutting Chick fil A for years !
given how many year would that be man cutting now
Another great excuse for not cleaning is the COV present in most cleaning products. "Honey, I'd love to clean the bathroom today, but this is a confined space, and my COV exposure is already too much from cleaning the kid's crayons off the walls."
Honestly this whole segment was just about as terrifying as the graphic
If they make a "McElvis," we're doomed.
He missed an opportunity to tell Christina Hager to sit, stay and roll over 😂😂😂
I welcome the Krispie Kreme donut to McDonalds for all the possibilities it could unlock on their secret menu.
Krispy Kreme donut MCgriddle patty, beef patty X3, MCgriddle patty, Krispy Kreme donut.
This is horrifying 😆
🍩🍦 sounds good
Double bacon quarter pounder between two Krispy Kreme donuts
@kingofnonation5843
Hold the mayo for the love of all things holy!
What axe does Meanwhile have to grind against hobos?
The 'dog dna' news reporter was a hilarious graphic but so what the Colbert 'Monty Python style head' eating chick fillet
Great MEANWHILE 👏
Dogs and Humans share about 84% of their DNA...
Hm-m-m, that explains my ears....🐶
Yes, the issue lies in that the protocols for the analysis don't filter for pets only, they just match small regions of the sequences. The DNA strands are so many and so large that since the 70s the protocols have been designed to overcome the issue of size. This means that you usually have a high specificity with high throughput, given the conditions the DNA extraction was succesfully done from the organism that you wanted.
A complete DNA sequencing of the genome of a single organism is at around 400 dollars, and will give you such an enormous quantity of information that any software analysis will be overwhelming. So the "solution" has to design protocols to simplify flag search of sequences, discarding the rest, and the algorithms are comparative in bulk, not for any specific minute variation, which is actually fine at the end of the day.
@@dianedenham5259 And why I wake up sometimes, and howl at the moon!
yes but if there kits were real they be using different primers which mean there shouldn't be a reaction to human DNA
Watching this video while eating at Chick fila. Ordering a few extra trays of nuggets n freeze them for the year!
Pet gene tests may still be relatively accurate in that humans share an overwhelming number of genes with other mammals, including 94% with dogs. It's the "junk DNA" that regulates gene expression that does the differentiating.
We also share that same 94% with Pond Scum...
no if the kits are producing results like that on human DNA, it means the kits primers have low specificity
The graphic is very Pythonesque! Well done
“Now how would I reward my self” 😂😂😂😂😂 unreal 4:13 😂😂😂😂😂😂
CFA is too expensive now.
$15 for a meal is insane!
Btw, from the "other side of the aisle" . . . I'm glad the "meanwhile" segments are politics-free. I can still tune in and laugh sometimes. Thank you.
I will never again feel guilty about requesting my crispyass almost burnt bacon
Thank goodness my house is dirty,i can sleep better now! Cough!😮😮😮
Im 62yrs. When i was a kid, we only had a bath on a Sunday night, ready for school on Monday.
Colbert as a SouthPark Canadian!
Wow the song at the very end was a deep cut. Martha My Dear
Good catch. 🎶
Don't worry everyone. It's just soft bacon that's dangerous. Extra crispy is fine.
Krispy Kreme should be partnering with more Coffee Bean cafes. There's one or two of these collabs in the city I live and this is pure heaven.