Edmund Burke cut right to the heart of the matter; he said, “Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.” Don't take the bait and walk away knowing thar the rude among us are internal weaklings.
@@natashka1982 I've done that, too, but I always seem to converse with the snowflakes--they don't know how to have a reasonable conversation because they aren't reasonable. For the most part, I just let them be...life is too short to get sucked into their issues.
@@sandybuchanan2666 Yes, my sister and her crazy offspring try to draw me into their fights and then it becomes my fault somehow. I have no opinion - Ryan said I didn’t have to have one!
@@deltahomicide9300…that’s when I block their number. However, I don’t have to work with or see any of them. If that’s the case with you, do whatever you can to maintain your peace of mind. 🙏🏼
It’s amazing. This morning I was humiliated in front of several people at my job, by a woman who I thought was my friend. I was fuming for hours and as soon as I came home, this video pops up. There are no coincidences in life. The universe winked at me today.
@@Respect2theFallen I mean yeah, but his tone says it all. You don't usually see Ryan get too spun up about stuff. But if the rampant animal cruelty and neglect in Texas manages to piss off all of us on the east coast, I imagine it's worse when it's on your literal doorstep.
In 9th grade I made the decision to never treat anyone the way my mother treated me because I disliked it so much. I'm now in my 60's and have never broken that promise, in fact I have to thank my mother for showing me how not to treat people.
Mothers can be real demons, I am 32 and my life has been a nightmare, all my problems are directly and indirectly related to my mother but she is the only one who gave me support in my most fragile moments but Also the one who caused all the mess in the first place. They make you feel worse than anyone else but at the same time you feel guilty if you hate them or at least try to get away from them. Even worse when you realize that she is the only person in this world who gives a damn about you, it's sick. In the end all hope is lost with people and even the will to live. From now on I will live only for myself and for my well-being, at least I had some fairly clear limits to deal with people
@@Wuwei72-o5n I'm sorry to hear about your situation. To be clear, I don't blame anyone for any situation in my life good or bad. I'm responsible for all of my actions and/or consequences as a result. What I consider one of my best attributes is that I have always been able to walk away and more importantly enjoy my own company. No expectations from anyone.
@@Wuwei72-o5n Consider this: Your mother was probably shaped by at least one other person's negative behavior toward her. Evidently, she is aware on some level and is trying to break the cycle--albeit sometimes unsuccessfully. This is why your post reflects both positive and negative feelings (cognitive dissonance) about your mother. Perhaps now it is your turn to complete the task by breaking the cycle and vowing not to treat others in the same way. For me, this is a means of honoring my mother and her efforts to break free of her own history of being abused.
I understand what you're getting at. My experience, seeming so nice, they don't stop the rudeness, it just gets worse. I cut myself off from them. Im almost alone now. So many unkind people.
Same, this is the first time I disagree with one of his videos.. Ive dealt with a few extremely toxic narcissists and it’s horrible, it’s better to cut them off than subject myself to being around someone like that
@ceez3317 It is all perspective. We have to walk away from those impacting us. I am seeing this as more the basic everyday people we meet. Of course, leave a toxic job or person. I like how he addresses being true to yourself instead of reactive.
@@francesb7515it seems since COVID and coming out of lockdown it’s continuing to get worse. I don’t know where so many people suddenly have felt entitled to behave so horribly. The “Boundaries” part of this video has become everything to me.
Not reacting to other people’s nastiness is so very difficult. I have a colleague who brings out the worst in me with her bullying. It took a lot of effort to take a step back and stop reacting to her.
There was this one person that I didn’t care too much about, one day, I was at a friend’s 🏡 and she knocked on the door , I opened the door and she could tell immediately that I wasn’t pleased to see her; she looked at me and said: “it’s always nice to see you” , I was so thrown off coarse , that to this day, I remember her with kindness! 🙏😞🙏
I find silence and absence do the job quite effectively. Not every statement or action is worthy of a response. The same goes for the people themselves.
Wow…this video popped up at the right time. I really needed to hear this. I’m on a fat loss/lifestyle change. I’ve lost 50 lbs so far and it took me a year and a half to do it. Many of my co-workers are saying that I look old now that I’ve lost weight. Of course they say this behind my back. 🙄 Anyways, I’m usually not bothered by what people say about me but this irked me because I have been trying so hard to better my health just to hear negative comments. Then, I realized that: #1. they are probably envious of my accomplishments. #2. I don’t give a fuck about their opinions. #3. I’m not going to let their negativity get to me. I’m happy and way healthier than I used to be. I’m proud and no one can change that. I’ll stay away from the haters and the negativity. Take care everyone!
I hate when people make any personal remarks - to me- about me - about others. I have been training myself to never remark on someone's appearance. Hi! So glad to see you - how are you? Where have you been? Or have you been back to that vacation place school diner whatever where we used to whatever? I wish someone in the media could take up the cause and try to "influence" the public to stop with the judging. Even well intentioned. Like. " oh you lost weight". Well my body size is not for discussion.
You aren't doing it for them you do it for yourself what people say is irrelevant the vast majority of them are barely sentient. I have never fitted in have few if any friends because I say it like it is and this repels people they hate the truth they are literally of no consequence
Absolutely they're envious! Maybe you could have some fun with them by swanning around in new outfits and hairstyle? Lol, they'll soon be spitting and meowing!
@@DrSweetshaft I did Keto initially with intermittent fasting and my weight stalled for six months. It wasn’t sustainable for me because I was always hungry. I lost weight but I also lost muscle mass. Now I’m weight training four days a week and eat whole foods to fuel my body. I’m a petite 44 year-old woman and I’m in the best shape of my life. I still have more body fat to lose but I know it’s going to take years to achieve the physique I desire.
When someone messes me up, there's two options. To react in anger or overlook it. It's good to assert with politeness, but I can't let it lean into anger. Feeling the offense sucks, but the anger is worse because now I'm forced into a bad emotional space, where I feel fear and have lost control. If I don't react, I think I keep a bit more of myself.
I’ve been with my therapist for over 3 years now, once a week for an hour consistently. She knows my hatred and disgust for humanity, and yet I’m always helping them and donating, being nice to them etc etc. she asked me why then, and I told her “I help them because I am not them”. So a lot in this video really resonated
I needed this. Thanks. Sadly, actual psychopaths are not that uncommon (about 1 in 100 individuals) and when you add in other negative personality types, it's clear we are all going to encounter some of these malign people at some time in our lives. It's important to try and protect ourselves from them physically and financially, but also not to let our minds dwell on them too much or too deeply (as per the quote from Marcus).
Thank you soooo much for all your speaking + untiringly explaining about becoming stoic in normal daily life 😂❤ !! I m a 79 years old grandmother, Austrian, and I literally inhaled all you said, with joy spreading 😂❤❤❤
Really enjoyed this one - esp the perspectives of ‘people are playing a role in the world’ and ‘don’t think too much about what lies underneath’ / ‘not having to have an opinion’ 🧘♀️🙏
I'm aging myself here but if anyone remembers “before” the internet not just social media, people that heard about “difficulties” from a distance ( maybe a blurb on a radio or tv show) were aware but not feeling directly impacted- the view of the world imo was the world is inherently “Good” and we would take a moment to send positive thoughts to families or people in need ❤️
I learn about when we get mad on what the other people do to us we allow them to manipulate us. Me sometimes I know how to tolerate but sometimes I allow myself people to see what they don't want to see and know . Sometimes I don't tolerate rudeness. I tell my truth. But sometimes I can be kind and compassionate.
Ryan, I love this video and how you explain what is written in Meditations. I also must say, every time I read "Daily Dad", it is difficult to go through a few pages without bringing me to tears. Not for sadness, but for love of my small children and consideration over the words. I am not even half way through it. I pick it up, it gets heavy, I put it down, and pick it up again later. This book is a friend.
There are many ways to avoid other people’s drama. I use the Buddhist approach which is stoic like. Many psychologists have great ways of explaining it also, whatever works best for you.
Hi 👋 It's difficult when you are working with people who are treating you badly. The workplace can be the worst of places. People check up on each other in the way of policing. There is usually a hierarchy. As you say there are differences in people. Some people aren't going to change either. As a gay man I have been treated like a second class citizen. I'm in my sixties and have retired from work now. Thank goodness too. I have experienced some hurtful and hateful situations inflicted on me. I can't change people. I can change myself , to be positive in myself. It's hard , but I can make a choice who to let in to my life. I use my good intuition now.
I can relate, sir. I am also a gay man retired from my 9-5. So glad I don't have to spend 5 days a week with certain co-workers who were nasty, rude, etc. Most of my co-worker were good people but others were sooo annoying. I got a female supervisor terminated for firing her male employees one by one over infractions that would result in a verbal warning with most employers,. It got to the point where I was the only male left in my department. She then took me on too and said something to me that was jaw-dropping in its inappropriateness. Never mess with a queen, lol : I wrote up the incident, delivered it it to administration the next day, and she was terminated within 24 hours. If someone is harassing you or making your life hell in the workplace do two things: 1. Document it on paper. Be detailed/Be clear/ stick to the facts.. and 2. Turn it in to administration. They can ignore verbal complaints but they can't ignore documentation. I prefer silence, non-reaction, or walking away these days to any defensive reactions or anger (per Stoic teaching) as that gives the offender way too much power. My claws will only really come out now if the offense involves physical abuse. Then I become Joan Crawford on steroids...
@FriendofDorothy I like your reply. I was brutally assaulted in a robbery years ago. I couldn't defend myself and I was beaten up bad. I received serious head injuries, and have scar disfigurement on my head and face. I was deeply traumatized , and it caused great grief. Time has healed though and it can come up still but it's not major like it used to be. I can't change people , but I can change me. Positive things come out of bad situations. I'm very wary and selective about who I associate with. Best wishes from Carl.
Thank you so much Mr. Holiday, I really needed this. You have inspired me to read about stoicism and try to implement it into my life. I deal with depression and anxiety and you have really helped me try to focus on me instead of everyone else. Thank you and much love from Denmark ❤❤❤
When someone is selfish and bad in traffic, I try to remember that I, too have done the same thing or something similar. I mentally acknowledge it but disengage my feelings. Amazing how by the time I'm at whatever destination, I've completely forgotten what they did.
Stay cool, empathize, set boundaries, choose your response wisely, and focus on what you can control. Stoicism isn't about suppressing emotions but responding with wisdom and virtue.
nice one. rude people justify their shitty behaviours by claiming to just be "telling it like it is" but they rarely ever want to hear what their is is. it always boggles me that people can be so ego driven, never looking inwards but only outside of themselves. i go about life trying to make people smile and have a better day. some of us try to find things to love in others. even aholes. some don't. :( jerks are here to help us grow i suppose.
@jazzyj2182 personally, i feel these things were written by those who still control the world today. turning the other cheek is what has caused the last 4 years and caused evil to flourish. jesus came to kick ass ie flipping tables. be like jesus.
@HikingHalfdead Absolutely. Sometimes it's our own family and that's why I don't attend gatherings anymore. We must learn if people are rude they DON'T deserve your presence. Sadly I learned it later in life but I don't feel obligated anymore to accept invites. I decline immediately😂
I currently have a difficult work situation, and I have that quote about the best revenge being not like the other person hanging up in my office. The idiots that the quote refers to are either too stupid or too self involved to think it’s about them so it works out great. Thanks as always for the great points of views.
4:56 this is an extremely effective mindset for many situations in life. I used to do crisis counseling alongside police and fire departments, seeing even worse things than they would because I EXCLUSIVELY went to the worst cases. I'd be asked all the time how I managed that experience, and before I even knew about stoicism, my perspective was basically just that one way or another I always knew that these kinds of things happen in the world whether I saw them in person or not. So the only difference was that I was seeing them for myself, and that I actually had the *opportunity to help
@@tnt01 depends what you mean by "effect." Our nervous system is always responding to our internal and external stimuli, but no significant and lasting negative impact in my case, no. But mentality definitely isn't EVERYTHING, for sure. I'm sure that being a therapist and practicing what I preach went/goes a long way.
I believe that rude people may have a legitimate message but they just don’t know how to deliver it. We need to stay calm and be reasonable rather than getting dragged into their drama. If the person’s intention is just to insult or hurt the other person then that’s on them!
Thank you so much for this Ryan, I love stoicism and it's teachings, Iron steel boundaries and the best revenge is not to be like that, Absolutely tremendous, Peace, love and respect to you and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory to the most high God 🦁🕊🕆🦄🐎💗💛💙💜❤🌈🌌😃♱😘⚖☘🍄😊📚👽😇✌🌹
I like seeing these rude people as just normal humans just doing what they naturally do; it's a way to get what they want. People have different ways of dealing with problems, and even though it's rude, it does not necessarily mean that they are bad people. Seeing like this makes me feel at ease, and makes me realize that maybe their intentions weren't so bad after all.
Ryan's insights on applying Stoic strategies to navigate difficult people are truly valuable in today's world. Understanding and implementing these principles not only helps us maintain our composure but also fosters personal growth and resilience. 💡
Yet there are also occasions when you simply need to take matters into your own hands and outsmart the annoying assholes out there. I was living in the perfect apartment for about a year and a half and then the biggest jerk moved below my apartment and played loud music, talked on his phone all night long and I’d had enough. I proceeded to record his obvious noise violations and turned the tables on him. However, this was done in the daytime and simply chose music that would annoy him to no end and he backed off. Notifying the l leasing office and calling the police also helped, so it was worth the time spent to shut this idiot up once and for all.
Sadly we are losing generations because we are not teaching basic polite kind behavior as a normal thing. I know many people who do not even know to say please and thank you routinely.
I am currently going into education to become my country's minister of education, to change this in the Netherlands. I cannot guarantee my success, I have lots and lots to learn but I hope others will follow the same challenging path. We can change the world
I mostly try to ignore jerks. They need fuel and they hate silence. Since the digital revolution they're crawling all over the internet. It's sad really, to live like that.
You have to be careful with indifference. It can lead to the total shutting down of emotions to the pint where one can become sociopathic. I've witnessed this in friends who tried hard to remain neutral to horrid treatment of human assholes as a form of defense. As elders, they are no longer able to express any feelings themselves, including empathy. One stoic friend of mine, cannot express emotion even when a friend dies now. Not good. When you lose empathy, you've pretty much lost your soul.
As a new hostess, coworkers and customers get frustrated with me. Thank you for this. Im 19 and never worked in an environment like this. Stoicism will help :)
I've been where you are. Keep your head held high, look people in the eye, square your shoulders, and press forward. As you become comfortable with your job/position, your confidence will grow.
We moved and the new neighbors knew the previous owner. They gave them a bunch of stuff but left it on and over on the property line, it's been around a month. I tried getting in contact with bylaw but they aren't getting back to me. They also burn crap to heat water, it's so bad I feel very sick inside of my house at times and can't go outside. Still waiting for our old house to sell so we can put up a fence at least. He let's his dog come over and poop in our yard.
Great advice, thank you. I always try to do what is the most reasonable thing to do by my fellow men and women. It's usually not acknowledged but I feel better for doing the reasonable thing.
Oh, thank you so much for this! I needed something that would help me handle my mother's narcissistic behaviour. It made and makes me suffer a lot and unluckily made me become as harsh as she is. Lately I'm reading The Idiot by Dostoevskij and I was wondering if I could ever became as good and pure as Myskin is, despite the unkindness of the people around him. This video was very inspiring, I think I will engage in this
If you can learn unkindness from your mother, you can learn kindness, too. I know I treat people better now than I used to, and because of that, I like myself more. You can do it!
@@melaniemcneil407 thank you. Actually I'm very kind with "normal" people, but I'm harsh with my mother and arrogant people. I became intolerant to unkind people, but I don't like being like that. I guess I have to be stronger in order to maintain my kindness and my peace of mind💜
Me too i am reading it and will continue once school is out I can relate to your struggles too I myself am very kind to but find a hard time to be kind to my parents
have you read anything more contemporary! I really benefitted from Lindsay C Gibson's books. The new one 'disentangling from emotionally immature people'' was great, listened to it on audible and I'll listen to it again. I also really enjoyed listening to the mother wound by bethany webster (also on audible). Regards x
I am impressed also with people that don't put up with some of the nonsense going on. it's a risk and takes courage to confront and engage those people who are rude, obnoxious and annoying. However if enough folks take the risk and confront these individuals perhaps our society will improve. Its not police's job to keep society in order. its society's job
Finding 2 dead dogs and 2 dead goats is not just rude. The type of person that would do this. Is a sick individual that needed to be Investigated by the police. The police should have been called.
People who are rude towards you for no reason are triggered by you. Its either how you look, how you behave, no matter what their rudeness comes from it is definitely about how you make them feel.
Dude.... Stoic AF. My ears perked at "some fkin psychopath on my road".... I gotta deal w narcs and psychopath on a daily basis protecting victims rights. Stoicism saves my ass every time. The obstacle is the way bae. And... Discipline is destiny yo.
A lot of words and they're not really helpful. For instance, in my neighbourhood (the houses are built very closely to each other) the teenage son of a neighbour who has his room at the top floor, talks for hours on end very loudly with some friend via skype or something. It is extremely annoying as it happens every day and goes into nighttime in front of his open window. There's no way of talking to him, because he's not there at daytime. I tried to ignore it, but I just can't. And I'm tired of trying to ignore obnoxious people, because I'm doing that all my life. (Maybe I should mention that I'm highly sensitive.) In Germany we have a saying: "When wise people always give in, then some day the idiots will rule the world." I'm frustrated and desperate, because I have the impression that since covid and lockdown things have aggrevated - people have become louder and more self-centered.
It really unbelievable how a man can follow another man's words and thoughts and not is own. People seem to just want to be lead around. So many lost out there.
I wonder if jerks can be positively influenced by stoic people to the point of them looking more at their own behavior, develop empathy and become a decent person, or if jerks/bad people are a lost cause and it’s better to accept they’ll never change
I'm seriously disturbed by some fucking psychopath dumping two dead dogs in the road! 😢Ryan you are a true hero for cleaning this up and a reminder to us that we all have a duty to do the right thing. It's only by engaging with people we can get the most from life 😊
Today at a cafe, I had an odd experience with a transgender man working there. He took the orders of the people behind me-twice-while ignoring mine. When I finally said "green tea," he responded with "not you!" and continued serving the next person. I'm a physically fit boxer with a good life, and while I felt angry inside, I stayed calm. I understand that this kind of behavior can stem from personal issues, mental health struggles, or even jealousy. Although it affected me, I chose to wait for another staff member to take my order. I got my green tea and left without causing any trouble, especially since I’m not in my home country and didn’t want to escalate things. Sometimes, I wonder if I should’ve stood up for myself, but staying calm often avoids unnecessary drama. In situations like these, speaking up could’ve led to an unnecessary scene or even false discrimination claims. Instead, I chose to walk away, carry on with my day, and not dwell on it.
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Edmund Burke cut right to the heart of the matter; he said, “Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.” Don't take the bait and walk away knowing thar the rude among us are internal weaklings.
I'm rude right back. And they magically become nice
@@natashka1982 I've done that, too, but I always seem to converse with the snowflakes--they don't know how to have a reasonable conversation because they aren't reasonable. For the most part, I just let them be...life is too short to get sucked into their issues.
@@sandybuchanan2666 Yes, my sister and her crazy offspring try to draw me into their fights and then it becomes my fault somehow. I have no opinion - Ryan said I didn’t have to have one!
I like that 😊
Good quote
Met so many difficult , rude , narcissistic , gossiping , negative people in my life it's fucking draining .
Certainly doesn’t help that they can text us when we’re minding our own business.
You can let it be draining or you can let it pass you by. They have the power to act, but remember, you have the power to react. Peace be with you.
Stop feeding them! Your attention to them is allowing them to drain you.
@@deltahomicide9300…that’s when I block their number. However, I don’t have to work with or see any of them. If that’s the case with you, do whatever you can to maintain your peace of mind. 🙏🏼
It was not your bad luck, people are like that
It’s amazing. This morning I was humiliated in front of several people at my job, by a woman who I thought was my friend. I was fuming for hours and as soon as I came home, this video pops up. There are no coincidences in life. The universe winked at me today.
Obviously, she is jealous of you! She must feel so insecure if the only way she can feel better is to put people down.
Except what happened to you _was_ a coincidence. You are reading too much into mundane things that happen to everyone.
A cynic’s life in unbearable.
Hope things are better now and you've got past it!
Im sure you meant GOD
You had me at, “Some fucking psychopath-“
for real
Really lol. He's a human just like us wow 🤣😂🤣
Same!
@@Respect2theFallen I mean yeah, but his tone says it all. You don't usually see Ryan get too spun up about stuff. But if the rampant animal cruelty and neglect in Texas manages to piss off all of us on the east coast, I imagine it's worse when it's on your literal doorstep.
@@smileyginger1 I wish I had more thumbs. Great point.🫡👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
In 9th grade I made the decision to never treat anyone the way my mother treated me because I disliked it so much. I'm now in my 60's and have never broken that promise, in fact I have to thank my mother for showing me how not to treat people.
Mothers can be real demons, I am 32 and my life has been a nightmare, all my problems are directly and indirectly related to my mother but she is the only one who gave me support in my most fragile moments but Also the one who caused all the mess in the first place. They make you feel worse than anyone else but at the same time you feel guilty if you hate them or at least try to get away from them. Even worse when you realize that she is the only person in this world who gives a damn about you, it's sick. In the end all hope is lost with people and even the will to live. From now on I will live only for myself and for my well-being, at least I had some fairly clear limits to deal with people
@@Wuwei72-o5n I'm sorry to hear about your situation. To be clear, I don't blame anyone for any situation in my life good or bad. I'm responsible for all of my actions and/or consequences as a result. What I consider one of my best attributes is that I have always been able to walk away and more importantly enjoy my own company. No expectations from anyone.
@@Wuwei72-o5n Consider this: Your mother was probably shaped by at least one other person's negative behavior toward her. Evidently, she is aware on some level and is trying to break the cycle--albeit sometimes unsuccessfully. This is why your post reflects both positive and negative feelings (cognitive dissonance) about your mother. Perhaps now it is your turn to complete the task by breaking the cycle and vowing not to treat others in the same way. For me, this is a means of honoring my mother and her efforts to break free of her own history of being abused.
@@Wuwei72-o5nHope your doing better 🌸
💕🌷
I understand what you're getting at. My experience, seeming so nice, they don't stop the rudeness, it just gets worse. I cut myself off from them. Im almost alone now. So many unkind people.
Same, this is the first time I disagree with one of his videos.. Ive dealt with a few extremely toxic narcissists and it’s horrible, it’s better to cut them off than subject myself to being around someone like that
@ceez3317 It is all perspective. We have to walk away from those impacting us. I am seeing this as more the basic everyday people we meet. Of course, leave a toxic job or person. I like how he addresses being true to yourself instead of reactive.
@@francesb7515it seems since COVID and coming out of lockdown it’s continuing to get worse. I don’t know where so many people suddenly have felt entitled to behave so horribly. The “Boundaries” part of this video has become everything to me.
That is what schoenhauer recommends keep a distance from most people as much as you can as they will inevitably bother you
Not reacting to other people’s nastiness is so very difficult. I have a colleague who brings out the worst in me with her bullying. It took a lot of effort to take a step back and stop reacting to her.
Record her for evidence
Practice makes perfect, lots of practice though
There was this one person that I didn’t care too much about, one day, I was at a friend’s 🏡 and she knocked on the door , I opened the door and she could tell immediately that I wasn’t pleased to see her; she looked at me and said: “it’s always nice to see you” , I was so thrown off coarse , that to this day, I remember her with kindness! 🙏😞🙏
I love what you told us. Thank you!
@@serawasnever2902 😉🙏
The FACT that I don’t have to have an opinion about anything I don’t want is one powerful lesson that I learned from your channel! Powerful!
@jazzyj2182go away
💯
@jazzyj2182amen 🙏
Isn’t choosing not to have an opinion, an opinion?
@@1130Tim Facts are not opinions, the fact someone doesn't want something cannot be an opinion.
I find silence and absence do the job quite effectively.
Not every statement or action is worthy of a response.
The same goes for the people themselves.
Stoicism has changed my life
Changed the life of many 🔥
Patience and cheerfulness go a long way.
Wow…this video popped up at the right time. I really needed to hear this.
I’m on a fat loss/lifestyle change. I’ve lost 50 lbs so far and it took me a year and a half to do it. Many of my co-workers are saying that I look old now that I’ve lost weight. Of course they say this behind my back. 🙄 Anyways, I’m usually not bothered by what people say about me but this irked me because I have been trying so hard to better my health just to hear negative comments. Then, I realized that:
#1. they are probably envious of my accomplishments.
#2. I don’t give a fuck about their opinions.
#3. I’m not going to let their negativity get to me.
I’m happy and way healthier than I used to be. I’m proud and no one can change that. I’ll stay away from the haters and the negativity.
Take care everyone!
I hate when people make any personal remarks - to me- about me - about others. I have been training myself to never remark on someone's appearance.
Hi! So glad to see you - how are you? Where have you been? Or have you been back to that vacation place school diner whatever where we used to whatever?
I wish someone in the media could take up the cause and try to "influence" the public to stop with the judging. Even well intentioned. Like. " oh you lost weight". Well my body size is not for discussion.
You aren't doing it for them you do it for yourself what people say is irrelevant the vast majority of them are barely sentient. I have never fitted in have few if any friends because I say it like it is and this repels people they hate the truth they are literally of no consequence
Absolutely they're envious!
Maybe you could have some fun with them by swanning around in new outfits and hairstyle? Lol, they'll soon be spitting and meowing!
Keto is the way. Add fasting and you have the literal fountain of youth. Cheers
@@DrSweetshaft I did Keto initially with intermittent fasting and my weight stalled for six months. It wasn’t sustainable for me because I was always hungry. I lost weight but I also lost muscle mass. Now I’m weight training four days a week and eat whole foods to fuel my body. I’m a petite 44 year-old woman and I’m in the best shape of my life. I still have more body fat to lose but I know it’s going to take years to achieve the physique I desire.
When someone messes me up, there's two options. To react in anger or overlook it. It's good to assert with politeness, but I can't let it lean into anger. Feeling the offense sucks, but the anger is worse because now I'm forced into a bad emotional space, where I feel fear and have lost control. If I don't react, I think I keep a bit more of myself.
I love getting angry back and watching people get scared
@@natashka1982 No, it's not a good way.
Thank you for helping those animals I really respected that
I pray god protects you from everyone and everything that is not for you, you have a beautiful soul
Yeah, stay true to your core values and principles 💯
Gospel Of Mark...
Leave Christianity out of it. Millions of humans have been sacrificed in the name of Jesus
💯
@@mcgritty8842 ... by people who weren't very Christian.
“The power of no opinion”. Perfection 🙏🏼
I’ve been with my therapist for over 3 years now, once a week for an hour consistently. She knows my hatred and disgust for humanity, and yet I’m always helping them and donating, being nice to them etc etc. she asked me why then, and I told her “I help them because I am not them”. So a lot in this video really resonated
With disdain. Self fulfilling prophecy
I needed this. Thanks. Sadly, actual psychopaths are not that uncommon (about 1 in 100 individuals) and when you add in other negative personality types, it's clear we are all going to encounter some of these malign people at some time in our lives. It's important to try and protect ourselves from them physically and financially, but also not to let our minds dwell on them too much or too deeply (as per the quote from Marcus).
Thank you soooo much for all your speaking + untiringly explaining about becoming stoic in normal daily life 😂❤ !!
I m a 79 years old grandmother, Austrian, and I literally inhaled all you said, with joy spreading 😂❤❤❤
Starting with you cussin bold af but I appreciate it. Never heard you cuss before but youre human and its normal to be frustrated
@jazzyj2182 Are you spamming every post just to make a point? Or are you simply being your obnoxious self?
Like the passion. Take the High Road yes. Defending your space, priceless.
Been following Holiday since his 1st book. Thanks you for having the courage, wisdom and fortitude to open your gift and use it to better humanity.
Thanks, you are great!! I love stoicism.The best sentence I've ever read "I dont have control what is around,i have control what is inside me"🤜🤛
Took me a long while to realise that what other people do or say about me has very little to do with me and a lot to do with them.
Really enjoyed this one - esp the perspectives of ‘people are playing a role in the world’ and ‘don’t think too much about what lies underneath’ / ‘not having to have an opinion’ 🧘♀️🙏
To see Ryan put into practice one of the teachings hit for me.
@jazzyj2182go away
I'm aging myself here but if anyone remembers “before” the internet not just social media, people that heard about “difficulties” from a distance ( maybe a blurb on a radio or tv show) were aware but not feeling directly impacted- the view of the world imo was the world is inherently “Good” and we would take a moment to send positive thoughts to families or people in need ❤️
People do mass meditations for exactly this reason > they connect on the internet
I learn about when we get mad on what the other people do to us we allow them to manipulate us.
Me sometimes I know how to tolerate but sometimes I allow myself people to see what they don't want to see and know . Sometimes I don't tolerate rudeness. I tell my truth. But sometimes I can be kind and compassionate.
This is helping me calm down today...there are dead dogs in my path too.
🙏
I must say I’ve NEVER see you angry or soo fired up…I like it!
The power of not having opinion towards the people that you cannot control and influence.
💯
I listened to this first thing in the morning and it help me set the day. TFS!!
"Don't let the person who wronged turn into something just like them"
Marcus Aurelius
Thank you Ryan.
Ryan, I love this video and how you explain what is written in Meditations. I also must say, every time I read "Daily Dad", it is difficult to go through a few pages without bringing me to tears. Not for sadness, but for love of my small children and consideration over the words. I am not even half way through it. I pick it up, it gets heavy, I put it down, and pick it up again later. This book is a friend.
There are many ways to avoid other people’s drama. I use the Buddhist approach which is stoic like. Many psychologists have great ways of explaining it also, whatever works best for you.
Hi 👋 It's difficult when you are working with people who are treating you badly. The workplace can be the worst of places. People check up on each other in the way of policing. There is usually a hierarchy. As you say there are differences in people. Some people aren't going to change either. As a gay man I have been treated like a second class citizen. I'm in my sixties and have retired from work now. Thank goodness too. I have experienced some hurtful and hateful situations inflicted on me. I can't change people. I can change myself , to be positive in myself. It's hard , but I can make a choice who to let in to my life. I use my good intuition now.
I can relate, sir. I am also a gay man retired from my 9-5. So glad I don't have to spend 5 days a week with certain co-workers who were nasty, rude, etc. Most of my co-worker were good people but others were sooo annoying. I got a female supervisor terminated for firing her male employees one by one over infractions that would result in a verbal warning with most employers,. It got to the point where I was the only male left in my department. She then took me on too and said something to me that was jaw-dropping in its inappropriateness. Never mess with a queen, lol : I wrote up the incident, delivered it it to administration the next day, and she was terminated within 24 hours. If someone is harassing you or making your life hell in the workplace do two things: 1. Document it on paper. Be detailed/Be clear/ stick to the facts.. and 2. Turn it in to administration. They can ignore verbal complaints but they can't ignore documentation. I prefer silence, non-reaction, or walking away these days to any defensive reactions or anger (per Stoic teaching) as that gives the offender way too much power. My claws will only really come out now if the offense involves physical abuse. Then I become Joan Crawford on steroids...
@FriendofDorothy I like your reply. I was brutally assaulted in a robbery years ago. I couldn't defend myself and I was beaten up bad. I received serious head injuries, and have scar disfigurement on my head and face. I was deeply traumatized , and it caused great grief. Time has healed though and it can come up still but it's not major like it used to be. I can't change people , but I can change me. Positive things come out of bad situations. I'm very wary and selective about who I associate with. Best wishes from Carl.
Thank you so much Mr. Holiday, I really needed this. You have inspired me to read about stoicism and try to implement it into my life. I deal with depression and anxiety and you have really helped me try to focus on me instead of everyone else. Thank you and much love from Denmark ❤❤❤
When someone is selfish and bad in traffic, I try to remember that I, too have done the same thing or something similar. I mentally acknowledge it but disengage my feelings. Amazing how by the time I'm at whatever destination, I've completely forgotten what they did.
I try to but lizard brain takes over and i go off on them, more times than id like to admit
This is so timely and helpful.
What a lasting difference you are making in the world.
Thank you.
Stay cool, empathize, set boundaries, choose your response wisely, and focus on what you can control. Stoicism isn't about suppressing emotions but responding with wisdom and virtue.
nice one. rude people justify their shitty behaviours by claiming to just be "telling it like it is" but they rarely ever want to hear what their is is. it always boggles me that people can be so ego driven, never looking inwards but only outside of themselves. i go about life trying to make people smile and have a better day. some of us try to find things to love in others. even aholes. some don't. :( jerks are here to help us grow i suppose.
@jazzyj2182 personally, i feel these things were written by those who still control the world today. turning the other cheek is what has caused the last 4 years and caused evil to flourish. jesus came to kick ass ie flipping tables. be like jesus.
AMEN. True.
They must check themselves first. Been in situation like this.
@HikingHalfdead Absolutely. Sometimes it's our own family and that's why I don't attend gatherings anymore. We must learn if people are rude they DON'T deserve your presence. Sadly I learned it later in life but I don't feel obligated anymore to accept invites. I decline immediately😂
@@joleenlinks7513 agreed.
This is so difficult for me. I see the news and it’s just so sad. Sometimes I think everyone is bad.
The news thrives on negativity. The real world has good ordinary (boring for the news) people.
I currently have a difficult work situation, and I have that quote about the best revenge being not like the other person hanging up in my office. The idiots that the quote refers to are either too stupid or too self involved to think it’s about them so it works out great. Thanks as always for the great points of views.
hearing ryan curse was funny 😂
It happens 😆
You know you made it when the comments are addressed to the commenters
Same when Sam Harris curses bc they do it so rarely
He curses all the time on the podcast lol
It's refreshing.
Thank you Ryan, from the bottom of my heart.
Needed to hear this! Thank you Ryan!
4:56 this is an extremely effective mindset for many situations in life. I used to do crisis counseling alongside police and fire departments, seeing even worse things than they would because I EXCLUSIVELY went to the worst cases. I'd be asked all the time how I managed that experience, and before I even knew about stoicism, my perspective was basically just that one way or another I always knew that these kinds of things happen in the world whether I saw them in person or not. So the only difference was that I was seeing them for myself, and that I actually had the *opportunity to help
Didn't it effect your nervous system? No physical symptoms at all?
@@tnt01 depends what you mean by "effect." Our nervous system is always responding to our internal and external stimuli, but no significant and lasting negative impact in my case, no. But mentality definitely isn't EVERYTHING, for sure. I'm sure that being a therapist and practicing what I preach went/goes a long way.
@@Brandon-os3qr 👍
I believe that rude people may have a legitimate message but they just don’t know how to deliver it. We need to stay calm and be reasonable rather than getting dragged into their drama. If the person’s intention is just to insult or hurt the other person then that’s on them!
Thank you so much for this Ryan, I love stoicism and it's teachings, Iron steel boundaries and the best revenge is not to be like that, Absolutely tremendous, Peace, love and respect to you and everyone, Thank you universe, All glory to the most high God 🦁🕊🕆🦄🐎💗💛💙💜❤🌈🌌😃♱😘⚖☘🍄😊📚👽😇✌🌹
I like seeing these rude people as just normal humans just doing what they naturally do; it's a way to get what they want. People have different ways of dealing with problems, and even though it's rude, it does not necessarily mean that they are bad people. Seeing like this makes me feel at ease, and makes me realize that maybe their intentions weren't so bad after all.
Thats facts they just direct about their discomfort about bending to others will, Its actually sobering in a world of phonies sometimes
Ryan's insights on applying Stoic strategies to navigate difficult people are truly valuable in today's world. Understanding and implementing these principles not only helps us maintain our composure but also fosters personal growth and resilience. 💡
Yet there are also occasions when you simply need to take matters into your own hands and outsmart the annoying assholes out there. I was living in the perfect apartment for about a year and a half and then the biggest jerk moved below my apartment and played loud music, talked on his phone all night long and I’d had enough. I proceeded to record his obvious noise violations and turned the tables on him. However, this was done in the daytime and simply chose music that would annoy him to no end and he backed off. Notifying the l leasing office and calling the police also helped, so it was worth the time spent to shut this idiot up once and for all.
I feel tons of positive energy here, Well done Ryan
Thanks. I really needed this today.
Sadly we are losing generations because we are not teaching basic polite kind behavior as a normal thing. I know many people who do not even know to say please and thank you routinely.
Stop complaining and be the change you wish to see.
@@davidmitchell6873lol ppl can have their opinions. Its the internet. If you dont like complaining just scroll…
True,but age is not wisdom neither.....soooo with that been said we are in trouble😂😂
I am currently going into education to become my country's minister of education, to change this in the Netherlands. I cannot guarantee my success, I have lots and lots to learn but I hope others will follow the same challenging path. We can change the world
@@davidmitchell6873noticing a pattern isnt a complaint
I mostly try to ignore jerks. They need fuel and they hate silence. Since the digital revolution they're crawling all over the internet. It's sad really, to live like that.
Great insight.
You hit the nail on the head, toxic individuals hate silence. Don't give them the dopamine hit they seek through malice
You have to be careful with indifference. It can lead to the total shutting down of emotions to the pint where one can become sociopathic. I've witnessed this in friends who tried hard to remain neutral to horrid treatment of human assholes as a form of defense. As elders, they are no longer able to express any feelings themselves, including empathy. One stoic friend of mine, cannot express emotion even when a friend dies now. Not good. When you lose empathy, you've pretty much lost your soul.
Agreed. We must strike a balance between over involvement and complete detachment.
1000% protecting mind and spirit, always. Namaste.
This was great advice for me to hear today. Thank you.
I forgive and then i forget they exist...
Thank you!
I have been struggling and your comment hit the nail on the head. Forgive and forget them so they do not continue to hurt me.
I am working on having NO opinion on things that don't matter...which is most things.
Needed this!!!❤thx so much
This is just soooo helpful!! Thank you!
My reaction to rude people, "Well, at least I am not you."
And yes, I try to give them the benefit of the doubt.
Thanks for your Stoic content I’m really enjoying your books too. Wishing you every success and contentment ❤ in life as you help so many of us.
Thank you so much for this video. Very helpful ❤
Hmmm, I disagree with not looking into things. Thats relieves you, but helping others is a worthwhile cause.
Thank you!! Much needed
As a new hostess, coworkers and customers get frustrated with me.
Thank you for this.
Im 19 and never worked in an environment like this. Stoicism will help :)
I wish you the best of luck! Just do your job the best you can and ignore the idiots ( and they will be plenty).
I've been where you are. Keep your head held high, look people in the eye, square your shoulders, and press forward. As you become comfortable with your job/position, your confidence will grow.
Good luck! The first weeks/few months are always the hardest. ❤
If you take a shot every time he says Marcus Aurelius, people become less annoying.
Offffff the boundary part hit home 🏡 for me
Thank you lad
You’re doing Marcus proud
👐👏 Great Info🎉👍❗
We moved and the new neighbors knew the previous owner. They gave them a bunch of stuff but left it on and over on the property line, it's been around a month. I tried getting in contact with bylaw but they aren't getting back to me. They also burn crap to heat water, it's so bad I feel very sick inside of my house at times and can't go outside. Still waiting for our old house to sell so we can put up a fence at least. He let's his dog come over and poop in our yard.
Thank you so much for this video. I really needed to hear this and will listen to it again and again.
Dunno if you meant to be funny but I had such a good laugh watching this video. Thanks. Especially Loved the ending. We are all connected.
Love the Seaside shirt. Beautiful place, I've spent quite a bit of time there myself.
Great advice, thank you. I always try to do what is the most reasonable thing to do by my fellow men and women. It's usually not acknowledged but I feel better for doing the reasonable thing.
People … I just cannot tolerate their entitled behaviour thus I cannot tolerate them too much, I have become Indifferent to people !
This content is powerful
Oh, thank you so much for this! I needed something that would help me handle my mother's narcissistic behaviour. It made and makes me suffer a lot and unluckily made me become as harsh as she is. Lately I'm reading The Idiot by Dostoevskij and I was wondering if I could ever became as good and pure as Myskin is, despite the unkindness of the people around him. This video was very inspiring, I think I will engage in this
If you can learn unkindness from your mother, you can learn kindness, too. I know I treat people better now than I used to, and because of that, I like myself more. You can do it!
@@melaniemcneil407 thank you. Actually I'm very kind with "normal" people, but I'm harsh with my mother and arrogant people. I became intolerant to unkind people, but I don't like being like that. I guess I have to be stronger in order to maintain my kindness and my peace of mind💜
Me too i am reading it and will continue once school is out
I can relate to your struggles too
I myself am very kind to but find a hard time to be kind to my parents
have you read anything more contemporary! I really benefitted from Lindsay C Gibson's books. The new one 'disentangling from emotionally immature people'' was great, listened to it on audible and I'll listen to it again. I also really enjoyed listening to the mother wound by bethany webster (also on audible). Regards x
@@SusanaXpeace2u no, I haven't. I'll search for them, thank you for your recommendation❣
Thank you very much for the reminder that the obstacle is the way… loved this video!
I am impressed also with people that don't put up with some of the nonsense going on. it's a risk and takes courage to confront and engage those people who are rude, obnoxious and annoying. However if enough folks take the risk and confront these individuals perhaps our society will improve. Its not police's job to keep society in order. its society's job
❤ amazing advised...
This was perfect for me right now.
Finding 2 dead dogs and 2 dead goats is not just rude.
The type of person that would do this.
Is a sick individual that needed to be
Investigated by the police. The police should have been called.
I needed this today
I just noticed the number of subscribers!🎉. Awesome. Than you.
I found this really helpful. Thanks for sharing it 😊
People who are rude towards you for no reason are triggered by you. Its either how you look, how you behave, no matter what their rudeness comes from it is definitely about how you make them feel.
Envy
@@CrystalShadow Sometimes but not always. Sometimes they feel like you’re arrogant or they associate your look and behavior with someone they dislike.
Dude.... Stoic AF.
My ears perked at "some fkin psychopath on my road"....
I gotta deal w narcs and psychopath on a daily basis protecting victims rights.
Stoicism saves my ass every time.
The obstacle is the way bae. And...
Discipline is destiny yo.
A lot of words and they're not really
helpful.
For instance, in my neighbourhood (the houses are built very closely to each other) the teenage son of a neighbour who has his room at the top floor, talks for hours on end very loudly with some friend via skype or something.
It is extremely annoying as it happens every day and goes into nighttime in front of his open window.
There's no way of talking to him, because he's not there at daytime.
I tried to ignore it, but I just can't.
And I'm tired of trying to ignore obnoxious people, because I'm doing that all my life.
(Maybe I should mention that I'm highly sensitive.)
In Germany we have a saying:
"When wise people always give in, then some day the idiots will rule the world."
I'm frustrated and desperate, because I have the impression that since covid and lockdown things have aggrevated - people have become louder and more self-centered.
It really unbelievable how a man can follow another man's words and thoughts and not is own. People seem to just want to be lead around. So many lost out there.
Just gorgeous, thank you
I wonder if jerks can be positively influenced by stoic people to the point of them looking more at their own behavior, develop empathy and become a decent person, or if jerks/bad people are a lost cause and it’s better to accept they’ll never change
I'm seriously disturbed by some fucking psychopath dumping two dead dogs in the road! 😢Ryan you are a true hero for cleaning this up and a reminder to us that we all have a duty to do the right thing. It's only by engaging with people we can get the most from life 😊
Don’t cry little girl
Thank you sir.
Today at a cafe, I had an odd experience with a transgender man working there. He took the orders of the people behind me-twice-while ignoring mine. When I finally said "green tea," he responded with "not you!" and continued serving the next person.
I'm a physically fit boxer with a good life, and while I felt angry inside, I stayed calm. I understand that this kind of behavior can stem from personal issues, mental health struggles, or even jealousy. Although it affected me, I chose to wait for another staff member to take my order. I got my green tea and left without causing any trouble, especially since I’m not in my home country and didn’t want to escalate things.
Sometimes, I wonder if I should’ve stood up for myself, but staying calm often avoids unnecessary drama. In situations like these, speaking up could’ve led to an unnecessary scene or even false discrimination claims. Instead, I chose to walk away, carry on with my day, and not dwell on it.