The daughter went about it the wrong way, completely the wrong way. She should have rekindled and rebuilt their relationship first, worked on it for a long time, to prove to him that she is serious about it and that she is truly regretful. She should NOT contact him out of the blue just because she wants a fairytale wedding with her dad walking her down the aisle. It seems very shallow, as if she only wants to put on a show. What happens after the wedding? She'll dump him again after the wedding? OP has to protect himself because he knows that it would kill him if she cut him out of her life again if he gave her another chance and walked her down the aisle. _She_ must do the work to rebuild. All the onus is on _her_ to prove that she wants him in her life.
NTA. While I know most would tell OP that this is a chance to reunite with his daughter, those people wouldn't know that rekindling with someone tends to be a long and emotionally draining process. OP did the right thing in reassuring her that she'll always be welcome in his house but also being cautious. At this moment, he should see if she wants him back or if she just needs/wants something from him. Once they get to know each other again, then they will improve their relationship.
Soft YTA because she didn’t ask for money. It honestly sounds like OP walking her down the aisle was her way of extending an olive branch to him. The fact that she didn’t argue with his rejection and only showed understanding, and also for the fact that their conversation continued beyond this offer, tells me that her offer of reconciliation is genuine.
Actions have consequences and you can’t control the way people react to behaviours you can only control your own. She can be genuinely remorseful but her father has the right to feel and act according to his own feelings.
Not everyone's an idiot to simply show their cards immediately when faced with rejection. Some people prefer playing the long game in order to strengthen their demand. You can't just say that if she did not ask for money right that second she would also never do so in the future. And even if the offer was to be genuine, does the father not have the right to exercise his emotions? Does he not have the right to decide his actions on the basis of his life and not that of someone who pushed him away cruelly years ago?
NTA. Daughter just wants him as a prop piece so her wedding can look whole.
The daughter went about it the wrong way, completely the wrong way. She should have rekindled and rebuilt their relationship first, worked on it for a long time, to prove to him that she is serious about it and that she is truly regretful. She should NOT contact him out of the blue just because she wants a fairytale wedding with her dad walking her down the aisle. It seems very shallow, as if she only wants to put on a show. What happens after the wedding? She'll dump him again after the wedding? OP has to protect himself because he knows that it would kill him if she cut him out of her life again if he gave her another chance and walked her down the aisle. _She_ must do the work to rebuild. All the onus is on _her_ to prove that she wants him in her life.
The wedding is a year later. Obviously they'd have time to rebuild and for her to show she's genuine.
I'll bet you a pound to a penny the daughter was just looking to sucker dear old dad into paying for the wedding.
Good way to put it if someone wants too see you again after years of contact they always just want something from you
NTA. OP’a daughter caused him a ton of emotional harm. She can’t expect one apology to undo that. The damage is done.
NTA. While I know most would tell OP that this is a chance to reunite with his daughter, those people wouldn't know that rekindling with someone tends to be a long and emotionally draining process. OP did the right thing in reassuring her that she'll always be welcome in his house but also being cautious. At this moment, he should see if she wants him back or if she just needs/wants something from him. Once they get to know each other again, then they will improve their relationship.
Nta its her fault she need to live with it
Soft YTA because she didn’t ask for money. It honestly sounds like OP walking her down the aisle was her way of extending an olive branch to him. The fact that she didn’t argue with his rejection and only showed understanding, and also for the fact that their conversation continued beyond this offer, tells me that her offer of reconciliation is genuine.
Actions have consequences and you can’t control the way people react to behaviours you can only control your own. She can be genuinely remorseful but her father has the right to feel and act according to his own feelings.
Yet she didn't ask for money yet.
Not everyone's an idiot to simply show their cards immediately when faced with rejection. Some people prefer playing the long game in order to strengthen their demand. You can't just say that if she did not ask for money right that second she would also never do so in the future. And even if the offer was to be genuine, does the father not have the right to exercise his emotions? Does he not have the right to decide his actions on the basis of his life and not that of someone who pushed him away cruelly years ago?