Don’t worry, you’re not alone I actually hated the show too. I’m more fanatically devoted to halo as you are. I literally just lost it the moment I saw the first episode after just going through every episode one at a time I was hoping for something to come out of it. But no clearly no one did their homework on how the halo story is. I mean there have been plenty of movies even games that have literally stuck with halo lore. however this show just literally not follow the lore. It goes straight to making a combination of Game of Thrones Dune Star Trek and Star Wars. I think what I hated the most out of all the show ever existing is this character Kwan She doesn’t exist in the story. Hell if they really wanted to add an important character, they could’ve added freaking Sadie. I mean for God sakes halo ODST knew how to tell her story. Another thing that really threw me off was the fact that Madrigal still has humans on the planet in the year 2552. Despite that the covenant glass, the planet back in the year 2528. The writers producers. Oh yes, let’s not forget Steven Spielberg totally violated. Everything halo stood for. It was like watching that South Park episode where Indiana Jones gets raped. after literally observing all the crap I literally just almost wrote a angry letter to Steven Spielberg demanding an answer for this abomination
They probably thought that their vision of *art* was superior to any other. They get an ip because it's so popular and then they change it because they think they know better. Tried it with Sonic the Hedgehog but the people were overwhelmingly against it, so they had to make it more like the video game model. It's a lesson Hollywood never learns.
Ima just say this has a halo fan Master chief was a person originally who was engineered to be the Sparten he is then at one point his soul came one with the suit
Writers and directors hating the source material isn’t always a bad thing, but one should really know when to pick your battles to when people who care about the source material is your damn target audience. Starship troopers and early 90s Batman is one of the more famous instances where this happened and didn’t instantly bomb.
@@Khajitxiif a writer or director doesn't like the source material that is always a bad thing. If you don't like it, you shouldn't be on that project. People want to see their favorite books and movies being adapted into movies or shows done so faithfully. Nobody wants to see race or gender swapping, or changing the story to appease "modern audiences". It's annoying and they always end up changing it so much that they might as well just write an original story. They don't do that though because they need the power of said IP's name recognition and popularity in order to get anyone to watch the woke garbage they put out.
@@Khajitxi False. It's always a bad thing if they hate the source material. If you can't respect the source material then make an original story. Obviously you can't be 100% faithful to the source material all the time because there are just some things you can't replicate, but that is a far cry from hating the source material.
Exactly. If that was even remotely true then they’d have created their own intriguing and exciting story from nothing, but they weren’t creative or intelligent enough to do that so they just took the name and good will do fans and butchered it
Clearly this guy has never played a single Halo game in his life, because the Covenant was formed thousands of years before modern humanity took to the stars, and the war started in 2525 and ended in 2552.
@@onahdenchris3250 Then why even put them in charge if the gamers themselves understand Halo's lore more than anyone else? Because if the excuse is saving more money, you'll be saving more than you earn if you actually give people what they want.
@@BaxterAndLunalaIt's not about saving money or even the gamers. It's about who gets the work. They chose the writers and the writers made an absolute mess. Who knows how they selected these writers. 1000% If they had someone who was a fan of the games/lore running the script it would've been good.
Humanity really had it rough throughout the entire conflict. Victories in space were rare while ground engagement had a lot more chance of success. Even with the greatest tacticians the UNSC had to offer, it just wasn't enough. And the only weapon that could effectively bypass the plasma shields on Covenant Capital ships was the MAC gun and the Shiva class nuclear missiles. During the engagement at Installation 01 (correct me if I got that wrong), the Covenant was no match for the irregular warfare tactics that the UNSC employed.
For someone(like myself) who has never played Halo but likes scifi they might enjoy this series. However sounds like they messed this show up terribly, from what i read in the comments and online. It is unfortunate that it was screwed up like Rings of Power was. Correction. I did play halo, once way way back that I forgot. It was a player again st player thing
been a Halo fan since Halo Reach. this def seems to be a fun scifi show but its hella far from the Halo the entire game franchise is based on and what lore the Halo fans have followed since combat evolved... from the way Cortana and Halsey were handled to the "chosen one" bs. also as far as i know any human that has helped covenant in the lore has been killed by them about as soon as one can expect.
I've never played the game but I like the first episode but by the second episode it started not going good so i search the lore online and by the looks of it the show doesn't handle it well so I stop watching it.
If it's going to be called halo, it should be a halo story, not a normal scifi show. That's what ruins it for me, it has the potential to be good, but is held back by parts of Halo
That's because not a single person on the Rings of Power staff, from actor to chief producer kingshit, had ever read an entire Tolkien book, much less about the second age. Same with how Kiki Wolfkill was on record multiple times stating how much she _hated_ Halo and its lore, and she was one of the "masterminds" involved with this series.
Trust me, rings of power has 100 times beter in respecting the lore. The war starts way to late and the size is completly off. Nothing makes sense in the conflict (why the fuck would the covenant send one phantom for a relic of their gods if the planet doesnt have a real orbital defence force?) The covant having a human in their ranks defies everything. The unsc trying to kill master chief is so dumb i just stopped watching it right there.
You know, in the original lore, they already had a method to avoid spartan rebellion. Halsey specifically told them what she was doing when she brought them into the spartan program. She wanted them to understand humanity's issues and willingly chose to be the weapon that humanity needed. The spartans were not brainwashed, they knew what they were getting into from the start. Halsey didn't want to lie to them and risk a rebellion of superhuman soldiers in the future. Why would they need to change that? There was no plothole for that lore.
bc the writers have zero clue or love for the game. im not gunna lie i would've GLADLY taken a H1/2/3 story. they had the story already for them to just convert to tv. instead they decided to change everything we loved about the game. the writers failed ot realize we loved M.C story not just the world of halo
Bro wtf are you talking about, the children were kidnapped and replaced by clones of them, not only that but they would try to escape sometimes and get stopped. They weren't willing, it was just a necessity to protect humanity. It's why Halsey is one of the most wanted people in the halo universe. Let's not mention Halsey literally created smart ai by illegally cloning her brain and then killing the clone.
Strayed too far from the source material. Halo's lore is vast, like The Elder Scrolls and Fallout! Should've gone the Dredd/Urban way and keep the helmet on.
Not ever gonna watch it, but one piece of lore they definitely got right was Covenant handheld and light/medium vehicle based weapons are extremely overpowered compared to UNSC weapons, except against Spartans, unless it's a blamite based weapon.
Thanks God Movie Recap made this one... I would have cried if I had seen the series entirely... Nothing is right... Nothing works... A massive finger to all Halo fans.
I'm mad enough at the sheer bastardization of the halo name just listening to this. I don't even want to know how angry I would've been to see this in its entirety
This show had potential. Then it took a massive fucking dump on Halo, Halo fans, and Halo lore. And not a normal dump either. More like the kind of dump you take after eating sugar free gummy bears, Taco Bell, and grease. The one that sprays noxious, molten chunks of loose fecal debris everywhere; kind of like a Needler and Shotgun in one while looking like the result of a plasma Grenade going off inside of a rotten pumpkin patch.
it was going to be a dump the moment we realized this show was announced ALL THE WAY BACK IN 2014. THIS SHOW WAS ANNOUNCED WHEN MCC WAS ANNOUNCED. THAT'S HOW LONG IT TOOK. and when we finally got it, the writers apparently didn't know shit about Halo, the lore, and apparently were like, "meh screw it, I dun care"
that's what happen when there is nothing legal to protect a "game lore" . I mean should be illegal to make such a thing. People with money do not deserve to ruin halo.
@@Goblin.Slayerthat’ll never happen. As long as there are popular IPs Hollywood will find a way to defile them and turn them into narrative pushing agenda films.
nope. they confirmed they didn't know anything about the games, lore or anything, and they didn't even care. just goes to show how important it is to get someone who ACTUALLY CARES. in fact they confirmed they didn't even TALK about the games. I'm wondering if they were doing something completely different and then the boys at 343 were like "So how's the Halo show coming?" And they quickly stuffed "master chief" and all the other stuff from Halo like the UNSC, spartan program, Halsey and the Covenant (And the great journey, the brutes, the elites, the prophets, the grunts the jackals yadda yadda yadda) and hoped no one would notice
They had 20 years of the best lore any game has ever put out. And they threw it in a pit of fire, proceeded to shit on our plates then got mad when we didnt eat it.
If only Halo had had someone like Cavill to keep the writers in line, then perhaps it wouldn't have sucked. Not saying Witcher was a masterpiece, but considering what he managed to stop them from doing it might as well have been.
I agree as Henry did the best he could. I still play Witcher 3 now & emulating Geralt's fighting style would be difficult. They don't even employ a fraction of his powers. Oh well😢😢😢
He hated the changes they made to Whicher, he's said before he had very little say over what happened on that and is glad not to be going back, finally getting a say over something he loves (wathammer this time) is like all he goes on about lol...
If you only know the game version of Halo, you might come to the conclusion that MasterChief never took off his helmet. But that's not even remotely true. But you would have to read the books, in which there was a good scene where John was supposed to wear his parade uniform and felt uncomfortable without his "second skin" - the Mjölnir armor - Luckily I never saw this series. The recap is enough for me. As a fan of the Halo series, with the games and the books, it's just sad how you can mess up like that. If you really want to steal the basic idea, then please package it differently. I understand that a hero who has never shown his face in the game series (I don't count Halo 4 ending) is boring and uninteresting to the general public. That's why there's plenty of other material, Hell Jumpers, the standard soldiers, ship crews, I mean the UNSC has an extremely large number of combat ships, even after the defense of Reach. You could write interesting side stories without completely ruining the original. I mean, the starting options with the rebels aren't that bad. If they had only brought in the MasterChief as a "sidekick", a short guest role, it would have been completely ok, then they could have brought in a bit of their own creativity here and there.... I realize I'm letting myself go too much, bad stays bad and the series is unbearable even as a recap.
100%, and also, another show, Star wars The Mandalorian, with the main character also in a suit and a helmet, bound by the Creed of the Mandalorian to never took their helmet off, never let anyone to see their face, and its still great!!! Its not boring, if you want the show to be praise by fans, you stick to the source material, easy as that but somehow they still manage to fuck it up
“Kwan freaks out and calls everyone cowards, which gets the attention of the guards… Kwan freaks out and calls everyone cowards, which gets the attention of the guards…” - best part 11:07
A small thing got a little wrong is the covenant doesn’t completely see humans like that The prophets find out that the humans are the real inheritors of the forerunner tech
There are a lot of plot holes here in this new story wish they didnt change the entire Halo story. Even the villains feel extremely artificial and unauthentic.
and the fact that the covenent do like jack shit exept show up once or twice, when in the lore humanity has lost like 600 colonies and billions of people, but for the entire show nobody cares and everyone is fine
I only play halo 1 in pc. Now my pc is broke I can't play halo and follow it's stories. So the covenant is far superior than humanity? The covenant has been into the stars longer than humanity right? That means human is second to rule the stars. How tf does covenant lose the war despite them being the first to conquer the star. Also advance.
@@orionmobile6545 Well this is where it gets complicated The covenant surpass the UNSC in space fleets But in most regards I think it would be closer to how an army of the Cold War would see a modern on The UNSC would see covie tech and some of it would be UNSC R&D. UNSC railgun likely surpass the covenant the UNSC possess planet killing atomic bombs (late stage of war) But in most of halo ground forces are pretty evenly matched. As for space combat send some spartans they destroy the enemy from within 3 notable casualties doing this from the hundreds of spartans made. Further the humans acquire the engineers (not even gonna try and type the alien name) which would go on to upgrade UNSC armor and weapons a good example being the condor used by Kilo 5 but ultimately humanity is just on top
I think at the end when cortana took over johns body that’s how the real John is not much words and doesn’t take his helmet off, especially at the final scene with him just turning his head, finally the real John
can we have a remake of this, I feel like halo lore is so interesting and it would make a really great series but I didn't see the cool stuff. Imagine if they started from before we had spartans and the wars of the flood and then we get into the halo with master chief and the arbiter that shit would be awesome!
Games rich in lore & the idiots just totally disregarded it & made our beloved Master Chief into a complete muppet😢. To quote Dr Halsey from Reach. "Are you a Spartan or a puppet?" I think we know the answer to that question.
Okay, Season 1 was ROUGH rough, but I gotta say Season 2 is friggin awesome; they rebounded nicely! I hope it keeps coming, b/c the story's taking some interesting turns! Like... the Fall of Reach episodes? Lovely.
WTF I didn’t know this was supposed to be halo until I read the comments. I’ve personally never played halo myself but I’ve seen my older brother play and know enough about it to be shocked by this show. This ain’t halo bruh this circular crown 😭
My friend liked the series so much that I had to buy him the Master Chief Collection just to prove it's not worth the hype. (Spoiler: I succeeded, and now he's questioning his life choices in pixelated glory.)"
There is no Halo TV show. Somebody wrapped their failed sci-fi writing project in the franchise's name like a skin suit to get it approved for filming.
I never ever played this game but I would look up and watch my son playing it and even I can say, the person who wrote this script didn't even see the bare minimum of the game...
@@ballroomdru ah a series from '_______ plus' i think ill stay away from it lol. i was even asking myself if my halo lore knowledge was off because i dont recall half of the events happening in the games, thank you for this info.
Stunning, soothing voice narration & music in all your movie recaps. Can just play any of your video soundtracks as mesmerizing audio therapy. Voice is so consistent keep wondering if it is perfected AI. The music loops are like Fruit Loops mind candy. Well done!
I hated the show so much because I literally grew up with Halo back when I was 10 years old that was around 2002. I would go over to my friends house and play halo. As time went on, I played other halos then when I got my own Xbox, I literally collected all the halo games. Even did some research on the stories, the comics you name it. When I first saw the show, I was pissed. So pissed. I wanted to write a letter to the idiots responsible telling them how much you gave us a steaming pile of horse shit. part of my French but that’s what I wanted to write I didn’t because literally I just didn’t want to waste too much time trying to send a letter that’s going to get thrown in the garbage anyway. But either way this show did not follow the original story of halo. I can imagine right now if Harry Potter fans saw a movie about Harry Potter being done without any magic along with things just being off-topic, I guarantee you fans would be rioting in the streets of that movie was not done the way the books and the authors inspiration. Despite most of Hollywood’s movies that are based on books, video games, or whatever. I know sometimes they won’t always show everything in the stories. But the way they did it was just just like throwing away stuff that we know exist by the time it’s the year 2552. I feel like this show was so behind like the next day due to be done on that they literally just didn’t do their research they just went straight like any other student that’s about to fail a presentation in school they just go straight to coming up with the most BS excuse of a story. I think I was more angry with was the fact that the insurrectionists we meet in the story no idea the covenant exist yet by that year the whole entire human race knows especially the insurrectionist the UNSC fighting. I don’t like how they just make them out as people that are literally similar to Star Wars. While in the stories, they’re a little more beyond extreme such as they’re pretty much doing a lot of evil deeds that absolve them of their sins. the only time they fight alongside the United Nations space command is when the covenant show up. Giving the indication that we have a common enemy let’s stop fighting each other. But no, apparently these insurrectionists one of those characters, the most hated of all Kwan still wants to continue fighting to a planet that shouldn’t even be inhabited by humanity, considering it was the last in the year 2528. So through it all and considering every thing I’ve researched, there is just every reason for me to be mad at this show. I felt like I was watching South Park where everybody is reacting to George Lucas and Steven Spielberg raping Indiana Jones. then of course there is the reaction of. Oh wow this is the worst piece of crap I’ve ever seen. out of everything I think it was more pissed off was chief is taking his helmet off too much even we get to see what the covenant are looking for in the forerunner artifacts. They make a human covenant loyalist and master chief as what they call blessed ones. But the truth is, they’re not Blessed they’re called reclaimers in fact, every single human can touch forerunner artifacts, activate them. The covenants main goal is to destroy humanity because the covenant prophet leaders, see humanity as an obstacle. They see them as an obstacle, because after interrogating mendicant bias, the forerunner that betrayed his own creators. Stated that humanity is the success of the forerunners there’s no Great journey, etc. So they lied starting a war, claiming that humanity must be a eradicated in order to start the Great journey to God hood man. These aliens are deluded. but either way that’s why I hated the show because they literally throw away everything that’s already there and yeah this is what happens when you have idiots that don’t do their research on anything
@@MS-yq2wiThis shit was trash. It alienates the practically free audience that are the long time game fans and does nothing to draw new viewers in. Its a total failure and the writers are hopefully working on something a little more their speed, like garbage collection or cleaning sewage pipes.
“You’re just uncultured. And everything in the entire world’s has always been about gender politics you’re just now realizing it😂” there you go lefty’s I saved you the time and brain power. I know you have very little so conserving it is important.
Their criticism is stupid. Seeing a guys face who's face has been shown in previous movies, books, and games doesn't wreck the lore. It's a petty complaint.
@@abebuckingham8198 The writers failed to follow proper source material and butchered it. I don’t call that petty. Master Chief HATING on Cortana? Him having sex with a human who is also a covenant agent? Yeah no that’s just completely out of pocket compared to the games and novels.
I have never played the game. However, I do enjoy this series. I am very sorry they botched this plot. As a kid I read enders game, which was 40-some-years ago, when the movie was released I could still tell they botched it as well. As well as Phantoms by Dean Koontz. the book was very suspenseful, the movie not so much, another iconic story botched.
Wow, if the writers are going to rewrite the whole story and lore, then why even call it HALO? It could've been alright as a standalone with inspiration from the HALO series, but this is just dog water.
Exactly mate i was very happy when the series aired, i even got the wife to watch the first episode with me but oh lord was i in for a mental breakdown while watching it. I couldn't get myself to go past episode 4 so i stopped. I later watched the movie HALO: Forward unto dawn in order to mend my broken heart 😂
For anyone whose first introduction to Halo was this awful TV show, please don't let this be a testament to the quality of the real series. This show isn't even canon, but takes place in a timeline the showrunners made up called the "Silver Timeline". They even admitted in interviews they never even experienced the games and largly left out the actual story and characters for these woke, hollow shells. Don't let this Ruin it for you. Play the games, experience the universe and stories, its rich characters and lore- for yourself.
I really liked this series and kept checking for season 2. I guess its only good if you don't know the original story. I guess i can stop checking for it. 😔
Hey, let that be a gateway to the original games then. Master Chief Collection is on Steam, and if you're not used to FPS games, then you're totally okay to set the difficulty to its lowest and try to cruise through the games.
Im glad if you can enjoy it, its sad that for most of the marketing they were trieing to get halo fanboys to watch it, when it caters much better to a out of game audience.
@@terrirandilee5239thank you! First understanding person I’ve seen. It’s wrong to defile and trash lore because you want the name and fans but not the story. The people dismissing it are terrible people and they’ll taste their own medicine when something they like gets destroyed.
Recently watched this whole series. People were critical but if watch it for what it is, you’d be impressed with how they got creative with keeping all the key components of the story in place. Also way insanely more. Violent than I ever thought. Can’t really watch with the kids 😂 👍
They wouldn't have had to get creative if they would have just followed the 20 years worth of lore they had to work with, or at least written a story that fit the universe and characters it established.
Yeah, one of the key components is that the Covenant, _especially_ the Prophets *HATE HUMANITY.* Like, to the point of wanting to totally exterminate humanity. So why the hell is there a human woman on their ruling council giving them advice, when she's a _human_ that they'd just tell their Sangheli or Jiralhane guard to kill and then drag off to be displayed as a warning?
people get it wrong.. the nice guy isn't about who's first... it isn't a competition for who does things better or has nicer things. it's about improving everyone's life, or the system to help everyone ...not JUST yourself. think as if you have empathy for others, you don't understand all the time, but you know how people feel... maybe not the underlying causes... this helps you to understand that listening, observation and using what you know... from learning or the experiences of your life to help others... it's not about achieving some sort of excessive success or being first (the best) it's about helping others in ways they may never thank you for, being selfless enough to be the better person and not gloat or expect anything but hope for others to follow by that example, to be better than they are and realize that being first isn't what makes the world go round. if that helps. peace.
All of these films about some sort of alien life, or something like it, ending humanity, seems to be a running theme. I'm not complaining just wondering if we'll be here awhile😁
The writers had one of the deepest lore in gaming and they just chucked it out the window to do their own stuff and blamed everyone for not liking it
Yeah they absolutely ruined the legendary universe that is halo
it's almost like you don't like "The Message"
I had to smack my head 100 times to forget this series exist. 😂😂 such an insult to us. such an insult to everyone that loves halo.
Sounds about right 😂
They lost my interest and respect when they blatantly admit they dont care nor understand the source material. Its Halo by name only
As a halo fanatic, I can’t believe the writers and producers butchered this show. Wtf were they thinking?!?
Lots of FWB sleeping around
Don’t worry, you’re not alone I actually hated the show too. I’m more fanatically devoted to halo as you are. I literally just lost it the moment I saw the first episode after just going through every episode one at a time I was hoping for something to come out of it. But no clearly no one did their homework on how the halo story is. I mean there have been plenty of movies even games that have literally stuck with halo lore. however this show just literally not follow the lore. It goes straight to making a combination of Game of Thrones Dune Star Trek and Star Wars. I think what I hated the most out of all the show ever existing is this character Kwan She doesn’t exist in the story. Hell if they really wanted to add an important character, they could’ve added freaking Sadie. I mean for God sakes halo ODST knew how to tell her story. Another thing that really threw me off was the fact that Madrigal still has humans on the planet in the year 2552. Despite that the covenant glass, the planet back in the year 2528. The writers producers. Oh yes, let’s not forget Steven Spielberg totally violated. Everything halo stood for. It was like watching that South Park episode where Indiana Jones gets raped. after literally observing all the crap I literally just almost wrote a angry letter to Steven Spielberg demanding an answer for this abomination
E S G took this down...
To quote the Critical Drinker :THE MESSAGE!
They probably thought that their vision of *art* was superior to any other. They get an ip because it's so popular and then they change it because they think they know better. Tried it with Sonic the Hedgehog but the people were overwhelmingly against it, so they had to make it more like the video game model. It's a lesson Hollywood never learns.
Master Chief NEVER takes his helmet off. Period.
Bathroom scene.
Tbf, he did at the end of combat evolved
Yeah the difference between a game and realism
He could. The problem with the show is that he took off in the first episode and throughout the show basically BARELY ever wears it
Ima just say this has a halo fan Master chief was a person originally who was engineered to be the Sparten he is then at one point his soul came one with the suit
Halo and Rings of Power are the result when writers and director hate the source material.
That's sad.
Writers and directors hating the source material isn’t always a bad thing, but one should really know when to pick your battles to when people who care about the source material is your damn target audience. Starship troopers and early 90s Batman is one of the more famous instances where this happened and didn’t instantly bomb.
RoP had gay and a woman writer. They wanted to make it look gay as fuck and it was. I am glad I just skipped the shit
@@Khajitxiif a writer or director doesn't like the source material that is always a bad thing. If you don't like it, you shouldn't be on that project. People want to see their favorite books and movies being adapted into movies or shows done so faithfully. Nobody wants to see race or gender swapping, or changing the story to appease "modern audiences". It's annoying and they always end up changing it so much that they might as well just write an original story. They don't do that though because they need the power of said IP's name recognition and popularity in order to get anyone to watch the woke garbage they put out.
@@Khajitxi False. It's always a bad thing if they hate the source material. If you can't respect the source material then make an original story. Obviously you can't be 100% faithful to the source material all the time because there are just some things you can't replicate, but that is a far cry from hating the source material.
This is what happens when the directors think they have a better idea then the source materials... such a disappointment
Exactly. If that was even remotely true then they’d have created their own intriguing and exciting story from nothing, but they weren’t creative or intelligent enough to do that so they just took the name and good will do fans and butchered it
@@Barrythebarnabas Yup and same thing happened when feminists and SJW people fucked The Witcher and Henry left lol
Its like m night s take on avatar, but with netflix budget
Halo 1-3 are great.. ten it goes sour when the entire lore gets retconed
source material doesn't always translate well to movies.
Clearly this guy has never played a single Halo game in his life, because the Covenant was formed thousands of years before modern humanity took to the stars, and the war started in 2525 and ended in 2552.
Yupp the show was trash and the writers admitted to not playing a single halo game or understanding the lore
@@onahdenchris3250 Then why even put them in charge if the gamers themselves understand Halo's lore more than anyone else? Because if the excuse is saving more money, you'll be saving more than you earn if you actually give people what they want.
@@BaxterAndLunalaIt's not about saving money or even the gamers. It's about who gets the work. They chose the writers and the writers made an absolute mess. Who knows how they selected these writers. 1000% If they had someone who was a fan of the games/lore running the script it would've been good.
Humanity really had it rough throughout the entire conflict. Victories in space were rare while ground engagement had a lot more chance of success. Even with the greatest tacticians the UNSC had to offer, it just wasn't enough. And the only weapon that could effectively bypass the plasma shields on Covenant Capital ships was the MAC gun and the Shiva class nuclear missiles. During the engagement at Installation 01 (correct me if I got that wrong), the Covenant was no match for the irregular warfare tactics that the UNSC employed.
@BaxterAndLunala I don't think they were trying to save money. I think they were trying to get more viewers/fans
For someone(like myself) who has never played Halo but likes scifi they might enjoy this series. However sounds like they messed this show up terribly, from what i read in the comments and online. It is unfortunate that it was screwed up like Rings of Power was.
Correction. I did play halo, once way way back that I forgot. It was a player again st player thing
been a Halo fan since Halo Reach.
this def seems to be a fun scifi show but its hella far from the Halo the entire game franchise is based on and what lore the Halo fans have followed since combat evolved...
from the way Cortana and Halsey were handled to the "chosen one" bs.
also as far as i know any human that has helped covenant in the lore has been killed by them about as soon as one can expect.
I've never played the game but I like the first episode but by the second episode it started not going good so i search the lore online and by the looks of it the show doesn't handle it well so I stop watching it.
If it's going to be called halo, it should be a halo story, not a normal scifi show. That's what ruins it for me, it has the potential to be good, but is held back by parts of Halo
That's because not a single person on the Rings of Power staff, from actor to chief producer kingshit, had ever read an entire Tolkien book, much less about the second age. Same with how Kiki Wolfkill was on record multiple times stating how much she _hated_ Halo and its lore, and she was one of the "masterminds" involved with this series.
Trust me, rings of power has 100 times beter in respecting the lore.
The war starts way to late and the size is completly off. Nothing makes sense in the conflict (why the fuck would the covenant send one phantom for a relic of their gods if the planet doesnt have a real orbital defence force?)
The covant having a human in their ranks defies everything. The unsc trying to kill master chief is so dumb i just stopped watching it right there.
You know, in the original lore, they already had a method to avoid spartan rebellion. Halsey specifically told them what she was doing when she brought them into the spartan program. She wanted them to understand humanity's issues and willingly chose to be the weapon that humanity needed. The spartans were not brainwashed, they knew what they were getting into from the start. Halsey didn't want to lie to them and risk a rebellion of superhuman soldiers in the future.
Why would they need to change that? There was no plothole for that lore.
Depends which generation of Spartans the original generations were meant as “peace keepers” and not to fight the covenant
All soldiers are brainwashed. That includes fictional ones.
For drama of course.
bc the writers have zero clue or love for the game. im not gunna lie i would've GLADLY taken a H1/2/3 story. they had the story already for them to just convert to tv. instead they decided to change everything we loved about the game. the writers failed ot realize we loved M.C story not just the world of halo
Bro wtf are you talking about, the children were kidnapped and replaced by clones of them, not only that but they would try to escape sometimes and get stopped. They weren't willing, it was just a necessity to protect humanity. It's why Halsey is one of the most wanted people in the halo universe.
Let's not mention Halsey literally created smart ai by illegally cloning her brain and then killing the clone.
Strayed too far from the source material. Halo's lore is vast, like The Elder Scrolls and Fallout!
Should've gone the Dredd/Urban way and keep the helmet on.
But how are they supposed to focus on social politics messaging when they have to worry about story?
This show had so much potential.
It still does, if all the asshole gamers would just let themselves enjoy it.
you know season 2 is coming ?
@@PolishCow96yeah; I’m probably not gonna watch it.
Soooo much potential and they fucked it up so badly
Not ever gonna watch it, but one piece of lore they definitely got right was Covenant handheld and light/medium vehicle based weapons are extremely overpowered compared to UNSC weapons, except against Spartans, unless it's a blamite based weapon.
Lol 20 years of halo we never knew see 117's face. First episode he takes off his helmet like it's nothing.
Thanks God Movie Recap made this one... I would have cried if I had seen the series entirely... Nothing is right... Nothing works... A massive finger to all Halo fans.
I woulda been so pissy
I'm mad enough at the sheer bastardization of the halo name just listening to this. I don't even want to know how angry I would've been to see this in its entirety
This show had potential. Then it took a massive fucking dump on Halo, Halo fans, and Halo lore. And not a normal dump either. More like the kind of dump you take after eating sugar free gummy bears, Taco Bell, and grease. The one that sprays noxious, molten chunks of loose fecal debris everywhere; kind of like a Needler and Shotgun in one while looking like the result of a plasma Grenade going off inside of a rotten pumpkin patch.
Your comment is very well written, I enjoyed reading your comment more than watching the recap 😸 congrats! 👼
Yh buts what's the name of the movie...
it was going to be a dump the moment we realized this show was announced ALL THE WAY BACK IN 2014. THIS SHOW WAS ANNOUNCED WHEN MCC WAS ANNOUNCED. THAT'S HOW LONG IT TOOK. and when we finally got it, the writers apparently didn't know shit about Halo, the lore, and apparently were like, "meh screw it, I dun care"
Got damn. I know anyone unfortunate enough to be in the vicinity of said pumpkin patch got to be living up in hell.
Glad this failed. Writers who don't respect the source material ends up creating something else.
that's what happen when there is nothing legal to protect a "game lore" . I mean should be illegal to make such a thing. People with money do not deserve to ruin halo.
Which, in general, is fine. Just think of it as EU and ignore it. It's what I do with the last 3 SW movies.
@@Goblin.Slayerthat’ll never happen. As long as there are popular IPs Hollywood will find a way to defile them and turn them into narrative pushing agenda films.
@@stumpy1146 but if we're being honest the star wars EU was better than Disney's mess
@user-ro6ou5vo6b OH I 💯 agree!
This show had so much potential al to be good
When?
@@mattd8484the first 27 min of the first episode 😂
I mean it failed on the first episode.
that's not Master Chief Master Chief never takes his helmet off.
Bathroom scene
Seems to be a blabbermouth too. John 117 is very sparing with his words.
"This is the way"
well he does as at the end halo 1, just we aren't allowed to see him.
it's Master Cheeks
Not gonna lie. The only good thing I liked about this series was the fight scenes.
Bathroom scene.
@fuzzyspackage why do you keep saying that?
@@ironbrutesrage to get you to reply, result.🫡
@@ironbrutesragehe finally gets to see a naked woman so he’s excited
True it has some awesome fight scenes and graphics but the story was complete and utter diarrhea
i can finally watch this with out watching the actual thing
I still get annoyed how the chain gun didn't stop the elites until a SPARTAN was using it
glad to see I'm not the only one who noticed that and was pissed about it
Did the writers of this know anything about halo
nope. they confirmed they didn't know anything about the games, lore or anything, and they didn't even care. just goes to show how important it is to get someone who ACTUALLY CARES. in fact they confirmed they didn't even TALK about the games. I'm wondering if they were doing something completely different and then the boys at 343 were like "So how's the Halo show coming?" And they quickly stuffed "master chief" and all the other stuff from Halo like the UNSC, spartan program, Halsey and the Covenant (And the great journey, the brutes, the elites, the prophets, the grunts the jackals yadda yadda yadda) and hoped no one would notice
They had 20 years of the best lore any game has ever put out. And they threw it in a pit of fire, proceeded to shit on our plates then got mad when we didnt eat it.
That’s Hollywoke for you. To heck with the lore, the important thing is what kind of agenda/narratives can we make this show about?
IDK about the best lore but the Halo lore is pretty good
If only Halo had had someone like Cavill to keep the writers in line, then perhaps it wouldn't have sucked. Not saying Witcher was a masterpiece, but considering what he managed to stop them from doing it might as well have been.
I agree as Henry did the best he could. I still play Witcher 3 now & emulating Geralt's fighting style would be difficult. They don't even employ a fraction of his powers. Oh well😢😢😢
He hated the changes they made to Whicher, he's said before he had very little say over what happened on that and is glad not to be going back, finally getting a say over something he loves (wathammer this time) is like all he goes on about lol...
Caville managed to save only a part the season one, bud. The rest was a lost cause. The Witcher is in shambles.
@@Aidar77 you mean with witcher yea?
Totally...👍👌👍
@@EZ-D-FIANT yep. The Witcher fell victim to a woke agenda and people having zero respect to lore. All three seasons are a sheer waste of time.
The moment he took off the helmet the aura around master chief is gone...😂🤣😂🤣
master chief? that's master cheeks!
boy they messed this up so bad
If you only know the game version of Halo, you might come to the conclusion that MasterChief never took off his helmet. But that's not even remotely true. But you would have to read the books, in which there was a good scene where John was supposed to wear his parade uniform and felt uncomfortable without his "second skin" - the Mjölnir armor -
Luckily I never saw this series. The recap is enough for me. As a fan of the Halo series, with the games and the books, it's just sad how you can mess up like that.
If you really want to steal the basic idea, then please package it differently. I understand that a hero who has never shown his face in the game series (I don't count Halo 4 ending) is boring and uninteresting to the general public. That's why there's plenty of other material, Hell Jumpers, the standard soldiers, ship crews, I mean the UNSC has an extremely large number of combat ships, even after the defense of Reach. You could write interesting side stories without completely ruining the original.
I mean, the starting options with the rebels aren't that bad. If they had only brought in the MasterChief as a "sidekick", a short guest role, it would have been completely ok, then they could have brought in a bit of their own creativity here and there....
I realize I'm letting myself go too much, bad stays bad and the series is unbearable even as a recap.
TLDR. Only genuine champion amongst champions to forgo legitimate face reveal is comics Judge Dredd.
I read the whole thing and agree entirely
Cool story. It shall not be remembered.@@goodanytimej8688
100%, and also, another show, Star wars The Mandalorian, with the main character also in a suit and a helmet, bound by the Creed of the Mandalorian to never took their helmet off, never let anyone to see their face, and its still great!!! Its not boring, if you want the show to be praise by fans, you stick to the source material, easy as that but somehow they still manage to fuck it up
I only ever played one Halo (can't remember which), but even I know that show is craaaap.
“Kwan freaks out and calls everyone cowards, which gets the attention of the guards…
Kwan freaks out and calls everyone cowards, which gets the attention of the guards…”
- best part 11:07
Master imposter that’s who that is
My cousin Wang Suk Kok is mentally ill and loves Halo stuff as it gives him joy.
I had heard this was bad. Now I can confirm it.
Disappointed but not surprised 😕
A small thing got a little wrong is the covenant doesn’t completely see humans like that
The prophets find out that the humans are the real inheritors of the forerunner tech
There are a lot of plot holes here in this new story wish they didnt change the entire Halo story. Even the villains feel extremely artificial and unauthentic.
@@michelles9943 I never watched the halo show it just looked terrible especially it’s unfinished props
and the fact that the covenent do like jack shit exept show up once or twice, when in the lore humanity has lost like 600 colonies and billions of people, but for the entire show nobody cares and everyone is fine
I only play halo 1 in pc. Now my pc is broke I can't play halo and follow it's stories. So the covenant is far superior than humanity? The covenant has been into the stars longer than humanity right? That means human is second to rule the stars. How tf does covenant lose the war despite them being the first to conquer the star. Also advance.
@@orionmobile6545 Well this is where it gets complicated
The covenant surpass the UNSC in space fleets
But in most regards I think it would be closer to how an army of the Cold War would see a modern on
The UNSC would see covie tech and some of it would be UNSC R&D.
UNSC railgun likely surpass the covenant
the UNSC possess planet killing atomic bombs (late stage of war)
But in most of halo ground forces are pretty evenly matched.
As for space combat send some spartans they destroy the enemy from within
3 notable casualties doing this from the hundreds of spartans made.
Further the humans acquire the engineers (not even gonna try and type the alien name) which would go on to upgrade UNSC armor and weapons a good example being the condor used by Kilo 5
but ultimately humanity is just on top
Freaks out so much she called the guard twice 😂
Nothing to do with Movie Recaps, but watching this was incredibly painful. I can only imagine how insufferable watching the actual show would be.
Imaging taking one of the greatest video games with deep lore and just pissing all over that
All because it didn’t have a social political narrative. If it doesn’t mention politics and push agendas than Hollywoke will rewrite it so it does.
Kwan freaks out and gets the attention of the guards, Kwan freaks out and gets the attention of the guards.......
I think at the end when cortana took over johns body that’s how the real John is not much words and doesn’t take his helmet off, especially at the final scene with him just turning his head, finally the real John
For real! That’s what I thought!
Nice to see someone got it. So many stupid fanboys out there can't think.
can we have a remake of this, I feel like halo lore is so interesting and it would make a really great series but I didn't see the cool stuff. Imagine if they started from before we had spartans and the wars of the flood and then we get into the halo with master chief and the arbiter that shit would be awesome!
Games rich in lore & the idiots just totally disregarded it & made our beloved Master Chief into a complete muppet😢. To quote Dr Halsey from Reach. "Are you a Spartan or a puppet?" I think we know the answer to that question.
Movie Recaps makes this sound a lot better than it actually was. o7
The first 3/4 of the first episode was epic.
This is a lot better if i imagine it as a bootleg indie film that risks getting sued by microsoft for copyright infringement.
When writers follow their path instead of the real story.
*when the writers make a self insert and change everything to make it push a narrative*
The level of attention to detail is amazing! They really nailed the graphics of the first xbox
Master Cheeks.
Bathroom scene
@20:28 😂😂😂while Cortana watches OMG LOL!
The Kwan portions tainted the whole show as bad as master cheeks.
Nice, this is better then rewatching the whole first season before watching season two next februari 8th. Thanx
Crazy how this show was filmed in 2552
Giving early access a whole new meaning.
In the 26th century, 2020s haircuts came back and for some miraculous reason everyone isn’t octoroon from centuries of mixing
Okay, Season 1 was ROUGH rough, but I gotta say Season 2 is friggin awesome; they rebounded nicely! I hope it keeps coming, b/c the story's taking some interesting turns! Like... the Fall of Reach episodes? Lovely.
WTF
I didn’t know this was supposed to be halo until I read the comments.
I’ve personally never played halo myself but I’ve seen my older brother play and know enough about it to be shocked by this show.
This ain’t halo bruh this circular crown 😭
Quan freaks out and calls everyone cowards which gets the attention of the guards 2x
My friend liked the series so much that I had to buy him the Master Chief Collection just to prove it's not worth the hype. (Spoiler: I succeeded, and now he's questioning his life choices in pixelated glory.)"
😂😂😂 classic
So at the start ,7.62mm short dont kill the aliens but 5.56 and 9mm does
You know humanity is probably so strong that alien races had to team up to take 1 down
Thank you for the recap! 😁
What have they done to my boi master chief 😢
Wow that was exciting they should make a game of this or something.
There is no Halo TV show. Somebody wrapped their failed sci-fi writing project in the franchise's name like a skin suit to get it approved for filming.
They got the master cheif in the soda bruv.
I never ever played this game but I would look up and watch my son playing it and even I can say, the person who wrote this script didn't even see the bare minimum of the game...
Thanks for the free movie
Master cheeks noooooooooo.....
I knew this show was gonna be shit after seeing the dad run towards the Elite with the energy sword 😂
they made a fcking halo movie was i living under a rock or something?
Had the same thought, then remembered that it was just that forgettable
It's a really bad series made by people who don't know anything about Halo and don't even like it.
It is a series on paramount plus that was made by people who obviously didn’t play the games or know the lore.
@@ballroomdru ah a series from '_______ plus' i think ill stay away from it lol.
i was even asking myself if my halo lore knowledge was off because i dont recall half of the events happening in the games, thank you for this info.
The Halo show reminds me of a kid that told me once, "well in MY LORE." and they some how became a director and made this.
Unfortunately no new season yet.
*Thankfully
Had Henry Cavil produced, write, and directed this film, it would have been great.
Glad to see Pornstache got more work.
Decent show but not true to source material which is why there's many haters.
What was the point of Quan?
@@shelldie8523 nothing 😂, no point at all
Cortana is a creep. 😂
never thought a movie recap can ever be boring to watch..until this movie.
So, whatever else got messed up, they did create at least one good new character in Kai.
Stunning, soothing voice narration & music in all your movie recaps. Can just play any of your video soundtracks as mesmerizing audio therapy. Voice is so consistent keep wondering if it is perfected AI. The music loops are like Fruit Loops mind candy. Well done!
dude that is free ai text to speech lmao
And so the Master Cheeks legend was born.
Freedom for a colony that was wiped out? What kind of logic is kwan using lol!! Hollywood in a nutshell!!! Muguffins
WTF are you talking about. The people in the fort got wiped out, there are others in the planet.
Israel@@a.r.e.j.1693
2:38 That... well, I guess UNSC has advanced enough to mitigate the effects of aging. Parangosky looks young.
I hated the show so much because I literally grew up with Halo back when I was 10 years old that was around 2002. I would go over to my friends house and play halo. As time went on, I played other halos then when I got my own Xbox, I literally collected all the halo games. Even did some research on the stories, the comics you name it. When I first saw the show, I was pissed. So pissed. I wanted to write a letter to the idiots responsible telling them how much you gave us a steaming pile of horse shit. part of my French but that’s what I wanted to write I didn’t because literally I just didn’t want to waste too much time trying to send a letter that’s going to get thrown in the garbage anyway. But either way this show did not follow the original story of halo. I can imagine right now if Harry Potter fans saw a movie about Harry Potter being done without any magic along with things just being off-topic, I guarantee you fans would be rioting in the streets of that movie was not done the way the books and the authors inspiration. Despite most of Hollywood’s movies that are based on books, video games, or whatever. I know sometimes they won’t always show everything in the stories. But the way they did it was just just like throwing away stuff that we know exist by the time it’s the year 2552. I feel like this show was so behind like the next day due to be done on that they literally just didn’t do their research they just went straight like any other student that’s about to fail a presentation in school they just go straight to coming up with the most BS excuse of a story. I think I was more angry with was the fact that the insurrectionists we meet in the story no idea the covenant exist yet by that year the whole entire human race knows especially the insurrectionist the UNSC fighting. I don’t like how they just make them out as people that are literally similar to Star Wars. While in the stories, they’re a little more beyond extreme such as they’re pretty much doing a lot of evil deeds that absolve them of their sins. the only time they fight alongside the United Nations space command is when the covenant show up. Giving the indication that we have a common enemy let’s stop fighting each other. But no, apparently these insurrectionists one of those characters, the most hated of all Kwan still wants to continue fighting to a planet that shouldn’t even be inhabited by humanity, considering it was the last in the year 2528. So through it all and considering every thing I’ve researched, there is just every reason for me to be mad at this show. I felt like I was watching South Park where everybody is reacting to George Lucas and Steven Spielberg raping Indiana Jones. then of course there is the reaction of. Oh wow this is the worst piece of crap I’ve ever seen. out of everything I think it was more pissed off was chief is taking his helmet off too much even we get to see what the covenant are looking for in the forerunner artifacts. They make a human covenant loyalist and master chief as what they call blessed ones. But the truth is, they’re not Blessed they’re called reclaimers in fact, every single human can touch forerunner artifacts, activate them. The covenants main goal is to destroy humanity because the covenant prophet leaders, see humanity as an obstacle. They see them as an obstacle, because after interrogating mendicant bias, the forerunner that betrayed his own creators. Stated that humanity is the success of the forerunners there’s no Great journey, etc. So they lied starting a war, claiming that humanity must be a eradicated in order to start the Great journey to God hood man. These aliens are deluded. but either way that’s why I hated the show because they literally throw away everything that’s already there and yeah this is what happens when you have idiots that don’t do their research on anything
I refuse to believe this nigga is master chief 😂😂😂😂 I laughed so hard
"lets make a halo series but about women and a little girl and reduce johns masculinity by making him take his helmet off"
Could work!
Didn't work!
@@MS-yq2wiThis shit was trash. It alienates the practically free audience that are the long time game fans and does nothing to draw new viewers in. Its a total failure and the writers are hopefully working on something a little more their speed, like garbage collection or cleaning sewage pipes.
Went woke went broke
“You’re just uncultured. And everything in the entire world’s has always been about gender politics you’re just now realizing it😂” there you go lefty’s I saved you the time and brain power. I know you have very little so conserving it is important.
Thanks for the recap. I love scifi shows but avoided it after hearing so much negative criticism from halo fans online.
Their criticism is stupid. Seeing a guys face who's face has been shown in previous movies, books, and games doesn't wreck the lore. It's a petty complaint.
@@abebuckingham8198 The writers failed to follow proper source material and butchered it. I don’t call that petty. Master Chief HATING on Cortana? Him having sex with a human who is also a covenant agent? Yeah no that’s just completely out of pocket compared to the games and novels.
@@abebuckingham8198”their criticism is bad. You see I’m clueless and only watch because I follow trends and love subtle narratives”
I love the Halo game's, i gave this series a chance, but never finished it because of how bad it was.
Lol we are so close to that date but far from unlocking interstellar travel like this and meeting aliens 😂
I have never played the game. However, I do enjoy this series. I am very sorry they botched this plot. As a kid I read enders game, which was 40-some-years ago, when the movie was released I could still tell they botched it as well. As well as Phantoms by Dean Koontz. the book was very suspenseful, the movie not so much, another iconic story botched.
Come back Johnny, we're sorry and we miss you..
Wow, if the writers are going to rewrite the whole story and lore, then why even call it HALO? It could've been alright as a standalone with inspiration from the HALO series, but this is just dog water.
Exactly mate i was very happy when the series aired, i even got the wife to watch the first episode with me but oh lord was i in for a mental breakdown while watching it.
I couldn't get myself to go past episode 4 so i stopped.
I later watched the movie HALO: Forward unto dawn in order to mend my broken heart 😂
The only satisfying part of this show was when Master Fraud was getting walked by the other Spartans in that one scene.
For anyone whose first introduction to Halo was this awful TV show, please don't let this be a testament to the quality of the real series.
This show isn't even canon, but takes place in a timeline the showrunners made up called the "Silver Timeline". They even admitted in interviews they never even experienced the games and largly left out the actual story and characters for these woke, hollow shells.
Don't let this Ruin it for you. Play the games, experience the universe and stories, its rich characters and lore- for yourself.
Her finding the weed to get waisted was some waisted time because master chief smoked it all
I really liked this series and kept checking for season 2. I guess its only good if you don't know the original story. I guess i can stop checking for it. 😔
Hey, let that be a gateway to the original games then. Master Chief Collection is on Steam, and if you're not used to FPS games, then you're totally okay to set the difficulty to its lowest and try to cruise through the games.
@@nuclearsimian3281 you want me to be disappointed too. Jk I've had plenty on book series ruined by movies. I understand.
Im glad if you can enjoy it, its sad that for most of the marketing they were trieing to get halo fanboys to watch it, when it caters much better to a out of game audience.
@@terrirandilee5239thank you! First understanding person I’ve seen. It’s wrong to defile and trash lore because you want the name and fans but not the story. The people dismissing it are terrible people and they’ll taste their own medicine when something they like gets destroyed.
Im more suprised that AK model has survived for 600 years
Forever Immortal
So Master Chief is an Arab Jew??
he can be
since no one knows how he look
@@Arman... we kind of do, we have seen him as a child/teen but just not as an adult.
@@silasmoriarty539 then yall would be the only ones who knew then-_-
eff outta here
bro really recaped the HALO tv show 💀
Woke.
Somehow AK-47 are still used in 2552
First
Recently watched this whole series. People were critical but if watch it for what it is, you’d be impressed with how they got creative with keeping all the key components of the story in place. Also way insanely more. Violent than I ever thought. Can’t really watch with the kids 😂 👍
They wouldn't have had to get creative if they would have just followed the 20 years worth of lore they had to work with, or at least written a story that fit the universe and characters it established.
@@jamesmclemore9123 I stand corrected. Take it for what is and don’t fanboy so much. You’ll be happier.
@@dang9668
I'm not mad that the silver timeline exists, just sad about the missed opportunity for something greater.
Yeah, one of the key components is that the Covenant, _especially_ the Prophets *HATE HUMANITY.* Like, to the point of wanting to totally exterminate humanity. So why the hell is there a human woman on their ruling council giving them advice, when she's a _human_ that they'd just tell their Sangheli or Jiralhane guard to kill and then drag off to be displayed as a warning?
@@dang9668get off the internet you'll be happier weather boy
people get it wrong.. the nice guy isn't about who's first... it isn't a competition for who does things better or has nicer things. it's about improving everyone's life, or the system to help everyone ...not JUST yourself. think as if you have empathy for others, you don't understand all the time, but you know how people feel... maybe not the underlying causes... this helps you to understand that listening, observation and using what you know... from learning or the experiences of your life to help others... it's not about achieving some sort of excessive success or being first (the best) it's about helping others in ways they may never thank you for, being selfless enough to be the better person and not gloat or expect anything but hope for others to follow by that example, to be better than they are and realize that being first isn't what makes the world go round. if that helps. peace.
sorry that may have been my reaction to an ad or something before the video, about how nice guys.
3.9K+👍's up movie recaps thank you for sharing 😊
fun fact, it is year 2552 and we are still using ak47s haha
All of these films about some sort of alien life, or something like it, ending humanity, seems to be a running theme. I'm not complaining just wondering if we'll be here awhile😁
It’s amazing how poorly these writers did