No it's not illegal to use adult diapers. That's the best part of becoming middle aged. They're so much fun, and it's really relaxing to lay in bed, looking at pictures of old fat men, and not have to get up to use the toilet. The word would be a better place if people take the time to relax and have fun.
@@matheussanthiago9685 Vaush would argue that you shouldnt be watching him while doing tasks. He only wants us watching him while we are glued to our screens
@@dragonslaya16 And I can mow my own lawn too, but I've determined that I value my personal time at a higher level than the time it would take for me to learn and utilize that skill as an opportunity cost, never mind entry costs such as a lawnmower or textbooks on the subject.
@FatalAlcatraz when im on the bus and i see someone jorkin it, i stare intently at them then look at other people and do that coocoo crazy thing with my finger spinning next to my head to show them i disagree.
I still find joy in life despite being an adult. You can find joy even in the worse moments or places. My mom has been struggling with long cancer and we’ve managed to stay positive despite the odds.
Maybe I am in the minority here, but, to me, 'adulting' is used mostly to indicate 'I have to go be productive/take care of myself'. Like, if I'm playing with a friend online for 4-5 hours, I could call for a break saying "hey, I still gotta run to the store today and I also haven't actually had lunch yet", or I could say "hey, I gotta go adult". To me, it's just interchangeable shorthand. Totally possible I am an odd duck though, or am otherwise missing Vaush's point.
Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but what you're describing is using "adult" as shorthand, it's just terminology. What Vaush is talking about is when people view "adulting" as some special group of tasks that exist outside of enjoyable ones. Which, don't get me wrong, stuff like mopping your kitchen isn't necessarily enjoyable, but when you create this mental separation you end up dreading/disliking it even more than you would otherwise.
@@trianglemoebius Hmm, so, it sounds like both mine and the interpretation Vaush is talking about have the same sort of activities in the 'adult' category, but one is used in a derogatory way? Never thought about it that way, which is probably why I was getting confused. Thanks for the clarification!
Tips for those of us with executive disfunction that have worked really well for me: 1. Have a checklist of all the things you need to do. I always feel a sense of accomplishment with each task i check off the list 2. Make cleaning part of your routine. Pick a specific day or couple of days and a timeframe in those days to complete cleaning tasks. I do all of my house chores friday afternoon after i get home from work so that its all done and i can relax for the weekend. 3. Give yourself small rewards at the end of each task. Pavlov's dog style conditioning yourself to associate chore with good thing. Even better if its something you dont usually do or have any other time. Hope this helps ❤
For me, I prefer habit-stacking to the Pavlov thing. Using chores as an excuse to watch/listen to something that would otherwise be a waste of time motivates me more. Sort of like "I can watch the new episode of xyz if I fold laundry while I watch." Of course some things require full attention, like taxes, but I can do most cleaning tasks on autopilot.
@blinkx1070 genuinely, in the nicest way possible, this is a skill issue. if its THAT hard, consider getting a therapist. it actually helped me a lot (i am a person who had a skill issue.)
Checklists are one of the biggest demotivators out there for ADHD folks like myself. Don't do that shit to yourself. Focus on one thing that bothers you, fix it when you have the energy, then move on to enjoying your day.
This is the opposite for me. When I didn't think about the term adulting, nothing got done. Thinking of responsibilities as adulting actually motivates me to want to do them more.
Same, I don't think I really became an adult until I started thinking "what would an adult do" and then just did it. I literally just made a list of jobs that the old me kept saying "I'll get around to it eventually" to. Then I made sure to do at least one of those jobs a day and before you know it I had my life together.
@@protoroc You guys need to get away from this weird idea that people giving insight to their lives and what works for them is 'a flex' because that's not how the vast majority of conversations work. Most people will share information about themselves in an attempt to spark a conversation among other people who either identify with the trait they've mentioned (oh, yeah, I'm the same way!) or they have presented their own experiences which do not mirror yours (Really, that works for you? I've always done it this way.) in an attempt to create a conversation in which multiple people share their perspectives and opinions and we all get to understand each other and the world around us a little bit more than we did before.
@ForeverTraitor It should still evolve into just being your normal state over time, something that comes natural. Personal growth is a long road, it doesn't stop at simply reaching adulthood.
I literally picked a cheap apartment in an old building for the low rent but i'm fixing it up with the permission of the landlord. We take it out of the rent each month, now i have a decent place to live that's not too expensive for a little effort here and there. I gotta thank my dad for teaching me to fix up stuff
Steam mop works way better. You don't have to be as nimble and cautious with it as you do with an abrasive brush. The cheapo stick style steam mops are light enough to do vertical surfaces np, way faster than the little steam shot canisters or brush heads can finish an equal sized area. Highly recommend.
people who don't have landlords or have only ever rented from family or friends or decent people have no. idea. at. all. how hellish a landlord that has it out for you can be. and you can't even talk about it because people always say the exact same thing; just move out. thanks, yeah I'm choosing this, there are hundreds of other vacant places just dying for people to fill them up and I'm just in a bad situation by choice. until you've been in this situation you just don't get i.t
Landlord here (nonprofit, I make money as the super of the building not on the units)-- they have to give you an itemized list of all security deposit withholds and prove that it really cost that much to fix. Vaush is right that you can do a lot more than ppl think.
I've been in the situation many times and as long as you don't have an actually bad person/agency as your landlord they will usually not care if you put your picture up or clean your walls. I'm sorry to tell you.
as a person whos parents were, at one point, landlords, and who also lived in an apartment under shitty landlords most of my life, i can tell you that 9/10 times, they won't even notice, and if they do then 9/10 times they're fine with it. if you just the ultra rare "landlord mad you fixed the place up" piece of work just sue them or something its america idk, its really not that hard.
‘Uhh, I can’t scrub my shower because I have no arms or legs and have to stay in a nutrient tank 23.5 hours a day or else I’ll die, so nice job generalizing us as lazy, Vaush’
I did used to think that about some his takes until I started noticing a LOOOOT of exceptions. like a looooooooooot of extenuating circumstances, so many as to make the original point maybe less poignant that it seemed.
Yes actually Vaush often says stuff without thinking it through and gets mad when called out on it. Thats not an issue with chat and it's often not that "weirdly specific" even if thats his goto response.
@@XMysticHerox What do you want him to do? Qualify every statement with like 50 exceptions? Chat is not capable of understanding generalizations and that's on them.
@@noiseisgold3n42 The problem is not him not addressing 50 exceptions. It's him making dumb points that have 50 issues with them that he dismisses as "exceptions".
I take a 20 or 30 minute shower however long it takes to run out of hot water it helps with the debilitating pain I feel every morning and gives the caffeine time to kick in so I can be the acceptable level of social
When I moved out, I bought a shit ton of cleaning cloths, kitchen towels, and a big laundry basket to deal with the dirty ones. feels so good to just have clean towels on hand. Towel cleaning was never so organized at my mom's house. My one regret was the getting cheap mircofiber cloths that shed lint everywhere.
My aunt is a teacher and has been since the early 80s, and says that she sees over the years an increase in parents working, how many hours and jobs, and the fact of both parents working, and a lot of kids being raised by the TV more. I think the culture has gotten looser and more hands off in terms of what it expects of children and the youth, and the other extreme was a problem at one time too in the past. So, young adults from the latest generations are less functional. It's at least partly a late stage capitalism thing. Although I do think gen z and millennials are more emotional intelligent than the boomers.
Yeah, i remember growing up on stories of my dad wanting this or that thing, and his paretns telling him to work for it, with chores as a kid, and with oddjobs as a teen. I was so excited for that, the idea of earning 10 bucks by doing work sounded like millions, but my mom forbid it as an antiquated thing, and told me i should just be thankfull for what i get for free. Its been hard to develop responsible habits, and i partly blame it on that, anytime i was literally excited to do the dishes i got shut down
@@aguspuig6615this is so real. I'm a mental health therapist and I know that a lot of people have their parents voices in their head about chores, with the shame hanging over their head like a cloud. It's not always as easy as just "do the thing" and sometimes people have to unpack the thoughts and feelings that get the the way. Honestly I feel like boomers more often straight up repress their feelings whereas the latest generations are exquisitely over aware of their emotions, which is one reason functioning gets paralyzed.
Nah I’m still gonna say “adulting” because I was raised in a cult and didn’t learn how to be a human until I was like 20, and then didn’t get to find out I was neurodivergent and had severe and crippling social anxiety for another half a decade. I’ve earned this cringe.
man this is to real. I am an "adult" (allegedly) at 20 but I feel like a useless child and I have so many issues with my mental health I can bearly take care of myself
I'm sick of this whining this is learned helplessness instead of seeing yourself as a victim, see yourself as the victor. You grew up in a cult but you broke free from that cult. That shows strength and resilience that you broke free from that situation. And learning to face your social anxieties and learning healthy coping mechanism and how to work with your anxiety. Realizing this will cause a feeling of liberation and you will become the Ubermensch and you will then be able to take control of the life you're given and rise above your shortcomings.
Big cleaning tip if you can’t find motivation to clean: schedule a date for a cleaner to come give you a quote. It will make you clean up so it doesn’t look as bad when they come
@@electron6825 Quotes are usually free, but the person working them up is still doing work. If you were running a cleaning service and a bunch of people in your area started asking for quotes with no intention of getting the service, that would drive up your costs.
When I was learning how to do the stay at home mom thing I struggled with keeping up with things and not having things properly clean. I got a physical planner and the first two weeks it took a while since each day I had to properly clean each area. Now each day is for one of those areas and it is such a quick process and my life has improved so much. If you have executive function issues, too, a physical planner (nothing digital!) might help. It’s daunting at first but then it’s just maintenance and if you do it regularly it takes very little time
Physical, digital, either gives short term help until the executive dysfunction makes keeping the planner up-to-date the problem, and then it loses any helping effect. For me that is. Any tool that helps is valid. For some, faking-till-they-make-it to be an adult works.
Yeah same I always forget to update my calendar, forget to check off my to-do list, forget to make a to-do list, and forget to write in the journal people recommended for mental health. I’m just so tired all the time, I can’t really focus on anything or tolerate the presence of others after a work week. I just sleep and occasionally eat, play some games, watch some videos, and struggle to find the energy to clean something or get out of bed or take a shower.
I cleaned my room last week and it hasn't improved my life at all. It was a miserable 5-6 hour process (because that's how messy it was), I was totally enervated by the end of it, I got no reward (no, the clean room isn't good enough), and it just felt like a giant waste of time. I only did it out of social obligation. Same reason I shower. It's miserable and I hate it, but I do it because I have to. But it's awful, and it will never not be awful.
The rent thing is wrong. Just doing it WILL result in you getting evicted. You NEED to have your tenants rights saved or printed out. I just had to do that in order to get a BATHROOM DOOR INSTALLED. And the push pins were ACTUALLY something I was told we CANNOT do and will lose our deposit over it. Reading the entire lease is important. Especially if you live in a state where they don’t need a reason to evict! Arizonan here :)
Average landlord will say that since you changed a 20 cent outlet cover that violates your lease and you owe them $300k, which can be paid by selling your organs.
@masync183 ...do you think landlords take inventory of light switch covers? If a 34 cent cover is broken go to Home Depot and buy a new one instead of looking at a broken cover
0:18 he’s literally on the money with this. It’s so weird hearing ppl say this stuff. It quite literally makes any progress made feel so undervalued and unseen.
I commend Vaush’s chat for learning how to work a computer. From how most of them talk about themselves they have to steal 5 minutes of screen time in a broom closet before their abusive parents come back from the MAGA-store and screech about trans people or eating dogs; but these parents also take such thorough care of their child that the kid apparently can’t cook or clean for themselves, much less speak to humans they didn’t grow up with, etc.
"you all spend 35 minutes everyday showering anyway because you're depressed and you're [...] thinking about how you used to wanna jonk it but now you don't" damn story of my life ._.
I'm in my 30's and this is the shit I'm trying to teach to my kids in elementary school. This isn't stuff that people, or society, or parents make you do to be unfair to you. It's stuff that will need to be done for the rest of your life, to make your own life better. For you. DO IT FOR YOU!
It's getting increasingly harder to ignore how infantilized we're getting by the generation. I'm not particularly one to talk but everyone must be seeing it. And as someone with really bad ADD, I don't agree with just using ADD or other things similar as an excuse to write off huge chunks of just being a functioning human being. This attitude around life has to turn around. So many people limit themselves and try to justify it. And it's unfortunate that the right has this market cornered. Basic discipline shouldn't be a conservative thing.
I'm AuDHD and I've lived with depression and anxiety my whole life, doing chores and errands is difficult, especially after a 10 hour shift, but I still do them, at my own pace and on my terms, that's life. I think I struggle the most with socializing, but I try every once in a while because I know it's important and my biology needs it. Life is difficult but nobody is gonna save you and you have to take responsibility for yourself.
I feel this hard. I'm in a similar situation and I found that conditioning myself to develop a process for keeping my home and basic tasks in order was a huge part in helping me manage better overall. Once i found what worked for me it's become second nature
It's far easier to identify the small things that are making you miserable and address them, than it is to chase after an abstract idea of what might make you happy. This was a breakthrough in my depression therapy. We suck at figuring out happiness, we are much better at identifying what makes us miserable and the majority of the time its small actionable items.
@@WASDLeftClick Same, I feel like going through large renting companies is the best way to rent. Their is a larger network available to you for maintenance and other such things, and they don't thrive by screwing people over. Small landlords can do almost whatever they want and will absolutely try and squeeze everything they can out of you.
I don't entirely agree with this - cause to me adulting is when an individual does things that they typically struggle with even after years of trying to do it, due to one variable or another; but when they do it they feel like they accomplished something that, relative to them, was hard. It's not that it can't be done, but that their baseline falls outside of the expected stereotypical range of adult or neurotypical behaviors. Cleaning for example - while not something that people struggle with conceptually, there are a lot of people that find it hard or impossible to MAINTAIN. Being disabled or mentally unwell for example can make cleaning a nightmare and hard to maintain. I can organize really well and think that cleaning isn't complicated to understand - but I still struggle with cleaning as disabled physically and mentally. My physical limitations due to chronic pain and blood-pressure issues and then my depression, cPTSD, & autism trigger so many overwhelming moments. Standing too long or the types of movement involved make me sore and light-headed after 5 to 10 minutes, sensory issues with gross textures or smells has made me nauseously sick, and dishes in particular digs up old trauma that has sent me into panic attacks and meltdowns. Depression adds it's own struggles too.. It's not as simple as 'get over it' or 'just do it'. That kind of thinking has it's own issues for this context. Like, I could go do some cleaning right now, but I'm already in pain, exhausted, light headed, and dysregulated.. The task wouldn't be complicated, but it would hurt me; and that's how I have to assess my day to day. I can't maintain a consistent cleaning schedule when I don't know how my body is going feel. Though, when I do get something done and I don't feel like I'm dying afterwards, I consider that success and that I adulted like a typical adult for that moment of time. I do think that people shouldn't baby themselves if they're capable of doing something and choose not to do it for actual lazy or selfish reasons, so that part I agree with; I just don't consider dismissing the position disabled people are in on that level. Ultimately, context and not generalizing. And on the other topic, not everyone can just change or ask their landlords if they can renovated.. people get fined and/or evicted for trying to do that stuff, and even asking can make some landlords more irritable leading to them being paranoid or hostile towards renters. In chat, I read several people echoing that sentiment and some saying they were put in debt and still paying for it - that kind of thing can ruin peoples lives. Idealistically, it would be nice if that wasn't the case but ya know...
@@fmleverynameistakenx thank you for your kind words & I hope you the best also 💙🫂 It definitely is a surviving first kinda deal. I'd love to just be able to do things with little to no consequences, but everything I do has to be calculated on how much pain I can handle and be in now and later. What I can mentally process now and later 😅
VGG chat has permanent "bean soup" brain. You know, that TikTok where a lady explained a recipe for bean soup and like billion people went "WHAT IF I DON'T LIKE BEANS"? Yeah. I mean, if something doesn't apply to you, move on. Make these judgements for yourself. Kind of like an adult would.
Is that really what people use this word for ?that's not what adulting originally meant is it ? . Like, I'll say "I adulted" when I successfully masked as a no-nonsense no-whimsy person for my administrative appointments and stuff like that but it's about the social aspect of it
Maybe it's regional? My peer group always used it in college to talk about the things we realized were just "adult specific" versions of what we'd always done as kids. Sometimes there isn't even the adult vs kid distinction either. Like work instead of school, making food when we're hungry, cleaning up our living space, returning a library book, etc. Basically we made fun of the idea that things are special just because an adult is doing them.
it's not even entirely a mental health/depression divide on whether or not you keep your place clean, i'm convinced it's also largely just a matter of habits, i made cleaning my shit my whole OCD at some point in my life and always kept my place clean in the most depressing times i've been through lol, if anything it helped me cope. i wouldn't have let my dishes rot cuz it just felt way too wrong and would have put me in a crisis.
It's all about just figuring out what mindsets help you be functional. Some people figure it out just fine. Others need to imagine that Monkey D. Luffy from One Piece would be proud of them for doing the laundry. But whatever works, works.
I've also really noticed how auto-infantilizing trans woman communities are. Often thru extremely mediocre anime. I also do not like 'adulting' as a term but I will stand by being eepy.
There's a line Kobayashi from _Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid_ just offhandedly mused about how some people never actually choose to be mature. "Most people never actually _choose_ to be adults-they just reach a point where they can't remain children."
Vaush obviously hasnt rented in Australia. If i met someone socially who admitted to being a property manager I'd have to walk away for fear of immediately punching them in the face. I'd rather socialise witha traffic cop.
Therapist & "adulting millennial" here. The term adulting is a good short hand term for explaining executive functioning issues to my clients with ADHD (and, more frustratingly, their parents). A lot of them have a hard time personally connecting to a jargon-y term like that, while saying "you struggle with all the adulting stuff". But it's also a good way of bridging the term with your point, which is that if you have ADHD a lot of the things you struggle with are still things you need to do as a human in this world to be alive/independent/happy. Having ADHD is a reason to maybe not clean your bathroom as often as you should, but it's no excuse to give up on ever cleaning it.
Yes, you need permission to put holes in the wall or you could be charged for damages. Use command or adhesive strips instead. Same with your own home, you may want to not have something there and the holes start to add up especially if you change things alot.
Depends on lease/rent agreement and local laws. Quite regularly making holes for nails and screws is considered acceptable damage from everyday living and is protected by local law. That's how it is where I live.
@@TealJosh It’s not protected here in Minnesota and we are one of the leading states for progressive policy and renters rights. Unless you want to lose money check the lease and laws first.
@@TealJosh also i’d add that around here many of the walls are old, can have lead paint or are real lathe and plaster. You don’t want lead contamination and you can’t drive a nail reliably into what is essentially a concrete wall without taking out large chunks.
I guess the divide between most of the chat and Vaush comes from Vaush having parents that kept a good balance between involvement and independence. Most of us had overprotective parents and it shows in a lack of agency and feeling helpless. Those who had checked-out parents are burned out from too much responsibility and not enough support. Can turn into helplessness as well (if you make a lot of mistakes because you take on stuff that's beyond your level in childhood), you might internalize the "failure" label. Key is prepare ting yourself. But you have to go into it conscious that fucked up people are fucked up parents and get some help in not repeating your parents mistakes or not over correcting for them. Because when overprotected people go overboard it's "all freedom, no structure". And that's not support, that's negligence. This leaves you in a filthy apartment, scrolling sm and feeling miserable. Adult children of authorative parents also either burn out on perfectionism, or totally neglect their environment and self-care (as in healthy meals, exercise, dental checkups, not bubble baths and face masks). It's hard to find the self worth to do stuff for yourself when previously you did everything to avoid punishment. It's a shift from external motivation to internal one. And it trips people up. I can see Vaushe's point about adulting being disempowering, keeping people in the "everything is a chore" mindset. You are not doing chores, you are taking care of yourself and your environment because you deserve healthy meals, clean dishes and a non-disgusting bathroom. And you have a lot of choice in how to achieve that. ALSO: I'm kinda disappointed in Vaush for not educating the chat in tenants rights. Renting doesn't mean having to put up with unsafe stuff like loose sockets. Know your rights!
“you need the right mentality” i’m barely hanging on vaush, if i had the energy to “just do it” maybe i would, instead i wash one dish and then collapse
one of the more entertaining vaush annoyance things lmao. clearly something/someone drove him insane in the past. like i think it's cringey to say but voosh has a very specific hatred for it that's just funny. proud of the comments section lol
I, having never uttered the word “adulting” in my life, have been forced by this video into the position of fighting for the downtrodden, divesting the scapegoats of their undue blame, and righting the wrongs of the world. While this video is full of good, common sense advice, use of the word “adulting” is not often actually comorbid with learned helplessness. While I am sure that Vaush’s ancestral home of Twitter is full of twenty-somethings complaining about needing to buy food for themselves, most of the instances of the word “adulting” that I encounter in real life are spoken by Gen X and Baby Boomers. It’s a rare instance of cross-generational slang, an expression of frustration with the way the modern world requires unnatural tasks of people. I see it more often used by people who I consider to be extremely responsible in their personal lives, than I do anyone who seems to even be remotely struggling with being mature. You might say: “But TH-cam commenter! This is just anecdotal evidence! And while Vaush also only comes equipped with anecdotes, that just means your experience is no more true to life than his!” And I would agree, were it not for that I live in the same city as him and am at least somewhat aware of the social circles around his interests. There is simply no way that he is actually encountering depressed college students who complain about needing to clean their rooms regularly, and hearing them say the word “adulting”. Also TH-cam’s spellcheck considers adulting to be a word, but not comorbid, apparently.
I agree to some extent, or more to the point I think you are referring to a more interesting and frustrating phenomenon. To the point, I don't think cleaning is a particularly good "adulting" example. A better one is trying to access different accounts online, many of them tied to your job, or your utilities, or your bank, or your website, or linkedin, or anything else you have for business. Even as a millennial I find the amount of superficial "security" and pass codes and captchas and numbers needed for daily life to be ridiculous. For boomers, I see that it drives them insane. I wouldn't doubt it explains some of their reactionary leanings regarding modern life.
@@billhicks8 yes I think that’s a better example than what I said. I’m also just put off by the fixation on the use of the term “adulting” specifically as a point of ridicule. Most all of the ire for it is pointed at stereotypes of people that just don’t exist. No one who actually regularly says “adulting” uses it when explaining their actions to someone else, they use it when complaining to a third party about having to do those things. Young millennials aren’t getting upset and telling their bosses that “adulting is too hard today” when they are asked to do something at an inconvenient time, that’s just not a real problem the world has! Yet somehow there are all these viral skit videos of guys putting towels on their heads and pretending to be otherwise professional young women who just slip the word in at the worst time for the most cringe clicks
@@stirrcrazy2704 "Young millennials aren’t ... something at an inconvenient time," No, not out loud. But a lot of people are thinking it, they've organized the world into "fun stuff" and "adult stuff", which ends up leaving no overlap between them. Someone mentioning they do this in chat is what caused this rant from Vaush.
@@trianglemoebius i already agreed with what you are saying in my original comment. vaush was right to go on that tangent, people should find day to day chores at least to some degree personally gratifying. literally all i am saying is that the hatred for the term "adulting" as used in conversation is unjustified
I use the term adulting, but literally none of the things you've described are things I would refer to with that term. Those are just chores and self care, I've been doing all that shit in some form or another since I was a kid. Adulting to me is only things that you can't do until you are an adult, but have to do in order to be independent. Things like paying bills, getting your own insurance, and working a full time job. It's the bullshit that primitive man didn't have to do in any form, but that needs to be done to be an independent adult member of society.
We REALLY need to start differentiating between positive discipline that follows intrinsic motivation to keep things orderly or learning and maintaining a skill, and negative discipline that is imposed onto someone via authoritarian rule, where failure to adhere will result in stigmatization, like they do in cults, basically any school, the manosphere, or in the Army. Oh and if doing your chores brings up old negative unresolved feelings from your childhood, instead of looking forward to the improvement, then a therapist can help. I grew up hating doing my chores because my parents were complete dictators about them, so into my 20s I still avoided chores because I felt a sense of misguided independence from the avoidance. Add to that the feeling of being a total failure because my inner critic's authoritarianism was shaped by my parents/school/whatever. I had to work through that shit as a adult and now I can enjoy a relatively clean living space. But I don't beat myself up if I occasionally let things slide for a month. That would be a waste of energy and my mental health.
Vaush starts taking Adderall and suddenly is interested in cleaning his house the minute he sees something slightly out of spec. Does not see the connection. 🤦😹
I'm a Gen Xer who uses the word adulting sometimes. I use it sparingly mostly describing adult mundane tasks I'd rather not do but still have to such as taxes, shopping for health inaurance, filling out DMV paperwork, etc. That all said Vaush has good advice in this.
I usually use adulting ironically but honestly adulting got easier in steps. I got my house, turned 30, was diagnosed with ADHD, in that order. With each step I got better. I can make my appointments to the doctor, I fix stuff around my house, I even got the trees cut down around my house and applied for mortgage assistance. My biggest thing was getting help from a law firm that helps with debt. Its nice to be an adult. My cats agree.
I mean tbf it's kinda funny hearing this from someone who seems to have coincidentally started doing all this after being medicated for his ADD I'm not saying he's wrong nessisarily but as someone who recently got medicated for add myself after the years it took to actually happen it seems like that would be an obvious factor
All High schools should. I know parents are responsible for a lot of the house management teaching, but most households require two incomes these days so there isn't always time for parents to teach every skill they could be. And it never hurts for students to learn some new recipes, how to do taxes, and other such important tasks that are vital to surviving on your own.
Too many people confuse discipline with oppression and put off having to actually take responsibility for their own actions until (in most cases) they leave college. I’m sure they’d attempt to do it longer but it’s a bit hard to avoid when you’ve already accrued excessive debt and need to “adult” in order to survive. So to be honest, when I see somebody talk about “adulting” it’s a good (albeit cringe) thing in the sense that they’re actually attempting to get their stuff together.
I have to say, I didn’t get the making the bed thing either but now it’s so essential to me. I have a nice clean space to put my clothes or laundry and I love snuggling into my made bed at night. I can never go back!
That's so true. I had that mentality of "I dont know how to do adult stuff", and one day I decided that was enough. I grabbed a notebook and literally started noting stuff I wanted to do (changing sockets, taking care of flowers and electric devices etc). It took a while, but a list really helped. One year later I have a cookbook I made myself and I had felt comfortable enough in my abilities that I emigrated to get a better pay and finally be able to afford bottom surgery. Granted, I had a lot of luck and was not really rooted in my previous place, so it was easier. But yeah, your life can work. Once you start taking control of it, it should get easier.
I've been saying this for years now, especially with the whole "not enough spoons" thing. It's so juvenile, you're infantalizing myself. People had been using words like "emotional bandwidth" for years, it's the same thing. I had considered my stress/attention as a budget I can spend throughout the day for decades now, also the same thing. But it doesn't catch on as an idea until it's a quirky spoons metaphor, that drags people into comfortable infantalization and keeps you from actually addressing your issues. Don't say "adulting", don't talk about your spoons, go outside.
0:41 “You’re not adulting by making yourself food, are you? I mean, maybe for some of you, you’re that far gone” Me, with ARFID, for whom even being around food is a stressful experience: 😅
Hell yeah another ARFID fighter, failing at basic bodily functions. Having panic attacks about going out to eat with friends isn't easy. I'll call making pasta night adulting and I'll be proud of it.
I have the opposite problem. My mouth is just an abyss that processes calories. It's why going mostly vegan was kind of easy and enjoyable; I get to shove infinite beans, lentils and rice down my throat!
I've always made minor alterations to my apartments all the time. I've used ceiling-mounted hooks to install my own overhead lighting, installing a bidet, I always replace the shower head, hell at one place I even replaced the faucet in the kitchen sink because the default one was dogshit. I just never bring attention to it whenever they come into my apartment and undo everything when I move out and no property has ever said anything to me.
That's because you aren't making permanent changes. You change it back when you move. Try and paint the walls without asking or tile the floor, or God forbid mess with the electric
![ALLY - OH MY! [ REACTION ] 'Amarin Nitibhon' #ALLY_OHMY #ALLY #allynitibhon #แอลลี่](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/nX9qpHjVfbQ/mqdefault.jpg)
![ILLSLICK - THE KING'S LANDING [Freestyle]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/feIJJnNkTfk/mqdefault.jpg)
Don’t say “Adulting”, rather one should engage in “Grown Uppery”
I unironically do this lol it helps me remember the aspects of being a grown up that I looked forward to as a kid and gives me a more positive outlook
Naw, naw, naw... It's "Big Boying"
I almost spat out my drink
I laughed out loud, thank you for this. :D
It's giving "Tommy needy drinky"
I gave up “adulting” now I spend my days just kidding.
This comment needs to be immortalized
That's illegal ain't it?
You always were such a kidder, Jon.
No it's not illegal to use adult diapers. That's the best part of becoming middle aged. They're so much fun, and it's really relaxing to lay in bed, looking at pictures of old fat men, and not have to get up to use the toilet.
The word would be a better place if people take the time to relax and have fun.
@@davidestabrook5367this sounds gross to me, but take my like anyway. Cheers 🍻
Adulting is when watch vaush
Adulting: watching vaush while doing the dishes
Not adulting: watching vaush instead of doing dishes
A dolt ing is when you watch Dave Rubin.
Is when take out loans to eat
Anarchists when personal responsibility
@@matheussanthiago9685 Vaush would argue that you shouldnt be watching him while doing tasks. He only wants us watching him while we are glued to our screens
Fuck that, I paid someone to do my taxes to avoid being arrested by the US Government, that's adulting.
the hard part is adulting to pay the 2000 dollars the government wants after paying 200 to file the taxes
Unless you own a small business you can just do that shit for free by yourself now
@@dragonslaya16 tax truther
@@dragonslaya16 And I can mow my own lawn too, but I've determined that I value my personal time at a higher level than the time it would take for me to learn and utilize that skill as an opportunity cost, never mind entry costs such as a lawnmower or textbooks on the subject.
@@connortobin3775 it takes like 15 minutes to an hour at most you're literally just plugging in numbers into a form
I loved it when I said "It's adulting time!" and then got crippling depression and existential anxiety every second of every day
"You are completely free to jonk it as much as you want" - Voosh
@@joetheagent Prove him wrong!
People on the bus tend to disagree smh my head
@FatalAlcatraz when im on the bus and i see someone jorkin it, i stare intently at them then look at other people and do that coocoo crazy thing with my finger spinning next to my head to show them i disagree.
people are just trying to get by. being an adult nowadays is so joyless that people are just looking for ways to cope.
I still find joy in life despite being an adult. You can find joy even in the worse moments or places. My mom has been struggling with long cancer and we’ve managed to stay positive despite the odds.
Late stage capitalism has seriously f*cked us all.
I used to think the word 'adulting' was cringey, but after hearing vowsh's take im definitely gonna use it all the time when im older
I’m adulting at work right now.
I'm calling HR 😳
Disgustang
@@maliksmith9003HR is not not friend, snitch!
@@maliksmith9003HR is for the benefit of the company, not workers. Class solidarity ✊🏼
"Have you considered that some people are a tad challenged?" Pretty sure that happens every stream...
I would ban so quickly
"You all spend 35 minutes showering anyway because you're depressed..." made me belly laugh.
I'm gonna clean my bathrooms today.
Bathrooms?!?!!!!
@@DanHarkins-jk9miI have three lol
Reframing your perspective on your day to day experience can be a powerful tool for self improvement and self motivating.
finally someone gets it
@@askew1319there are certain things that vaush legit just is too confident/lucky/wealthy to understand.
Yup. Less "ugh I have to do this", more "I WANT to do this because it's good for me and I'll feel better after working so hard".
Maybe I am in the minority here, but, to me, 'adulting' is used mostly to indicate 'I have to go be productive/take care of myself'.
Like, if I'm playing with a friend online for 4-5 hours, I could call for a break saying "hey, I still gotta run to the store today and I also haven't actually had lunch yet", or I could say "hey, I gotta go adult". To me, it's just interchangeable shorthand. Totally possible I am an odd duck though, or am otherwise missing Vaush's point.
Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but what you're describing is using "adult" as shorthand, it's just terminology. What Vaush is talking about is when people view "adulting" as some special group of tasks that exist outside of enjoyable ones. Which, don't get me wrong, stuff like mopping your kitchen isn't necessarily enjoyable, but when you create this mental separation you end up dreading/disliking it even more than you would otherwise.
@@trianglemoebius Hmm, so, it sounds like both mine and the interpretation Vaush is talking about have the same sort of activities in the 'adult' category, but one is used in a derogatory way? Never thought about it that way, which is probably why I was getting confused. Thanks for the clarification!
"adulting" is just cutesy language for "being responsible". its when people use it seriously it becomes obnoxious.
Tips for those of us with executive disfunction that have worked really well for me:
1. Have a checklist of all the things you need to do. I always feel a sense of accomplishment with each task i check off the list
2. Make cleaning part of your routine. Pick a specific day or couple of days and a timeframe in those days to complete cleaning tasks. I do all of my house chores friday afternoon after i get home from work so that its all done and i can relax for the weekend.
3. Give yourself small rewards at the end of each task. Pavlov's dog style conditioning yourself to associate chore with good thing. Even better if its something you dont usually do or have any other time.
Hope this helps ❤
The problem with trying to Pavlov yourself is when your brain just goes "yeah, but I'm an adult. I can have that whenever I was anyways"
@@blinkx1070 yea its about having a bit of self control, doesn't work for everyone
For me, I prefer habit-stacking to the Pavlov thing. Using chores as an excuse to watch/listen to something that would otherwise be a waste of time motivates me more. Sort of like "I can watch the new episode of xyz if I fold laundry while I watch." Of course some things require full attention, like taxes, but I can do most cleaning tasks on autopilot.
@blinkx1070 genuinely, in the nicest way possible, this is a skill issue. if its THAT hard, consider getting a therapist. it actually helped me a lot (i am a person who had a skill issue.)
Checklists are one of the biggest demotivators out there for ADHD folks like myself. Don't do that shit to yourself. Focus on one thing that bothers you, fix it when you have the energy, then move on to enjoying your day.
Dont say "Adulting" when instead you can use "Adultery." 😂😂😂
Adultery is basically the most adult thing you can do
Omg I was thinking that was in the title.
This is the opposite for me. When I didn't think about the term adulting, nothing got done. Thinking of responsibilities as adulting actually motivates me to want to do them more.
Same, I don't think I really became an adult until I started thinking "what would an adult do" and then just did it.
I literally just made a list of jobs that the old me kept saying "I'll get around to it eventually" to. Then I made sure to do at least one of those jobs a day and before you know it I had my life together.
That's a really weird flex, seems kinda pathetic.
@@protoroc lots of neurodivergent people here. Literally anything that helps is definitely not pathetic.
@@protoroc You guys need to get away from this weird idea that people giving insight to their lives and what works for them is 'a flex' because that's not how the vast majority of conversations work. Most people will share information about themselves in an attempt to spark a conversation among other people who either identify with the trait they've mentioned (oh, yeah, I'm the same way!) or they have presented their own experiences which do not mirror yours (Really, that works for you? I've always done it this way.) in an attempt to create a conversation in which multiple people share their perspectives and opinions and we all get to understand each other and the world around us a little bit more than we did before.
@ForeverTraitor It should still evolve into just being your normal state over time, something that comes natural. Personal growth is a long road, it doesn't stop at simply reaching adulthood.
You know what? I'm gonna start adulting _even harder_ .
💪💪
oh nooo! A manchild refuses to grow up
@@chillcapybaracitrus growing up is realizing no one has their shit together and everyone tackles life differently and that's okay.
@@chillcapybaracitrusits a word. most people use it ironically.
@@chillcapybaracitruswhat
I took this advice yesterday, arranged a plumber, and immediately got scammed into a four digit bill
Congrats, you successfully adulted
actual skill issue
Adulting and winning!
I'm really embarrassed because I used to call stuff I did "adulting."
Now, I've grown up enough to know the word is "adultery."
I literally picked a cheap apartment in an old building for the low rent but i'm fixing it up with the permission of the landlord.
We take it out of the rent each month, now i have a decent place to live that's not too expensive for a little effort here and there.
I gotta thank my dad for teaching me to fix up stuff
There's a scrubber attachment for power drills. Life is easier than ever before.
Why use a drill when you can use a 10hp pressure washer?
Steam mop works way better. You don't have to be as nimble and cautious with it as you do with an abrasive brush. The cheapo stick style steam mops are light enough to do vertical surfaces np, way faster than the little steam shot canisters or brush heads can finish an equal sized area. Highly recommend.
@@Goatumsthe steam mop is hands down the best cleaning purchase I've ever made
Your landlord WILL get angry at you because it’s an opportunity to screw you over, especially if you ask for permission.
people who don't have landlords or have only ever rented from family or friends or decent people have no. idea. at. all. how hellish a landlord that has it out for you can be. and you can't even talk about it because people always say the exact same thing; just move out. thanks, yeah I'm choosing this, there are hundreds of other vacant places just dying for people to fill them up and I'm just in a bad situation by choice.
until you've been in this situation you just don't get i.t
Landlord here (nonprofit, I make money as the super of the building not on the units)-- they have to give you an itemized list of all security deposit withholds and prove that it really cost that much to fix.
Vaush is right that you can do a lot more than ppl think.
I've been in the situation many times and as long as you don't have an actually bad person/agency as your landlord they will usually not care if you put your picture up or clean your walls. I'm sorry to tell you.
as a person whos parents were, at one point, landlords, and who also lived in an apartment under shitty landlords most of my life, i can tell you that 9/10 times, they won't even notice, and if they do then 9/10 times they're fine with it. if you just the ultra rare "landlord mad you fixed the place up" piece of work just sue them or something its america idk, its really not that hard.
Every single time
Vaush: says anything
Chat: "but what about this weirdly specific exception?"
‘Uhh, I can’t scrub my shower because I have no arms or legs and have to stay in a nutrient tank 23.5 hours a day or else I’ll die, so nice job generalizing us as lazy, Vaush’
I did used to think that about some his takes until I started noticing a LOOOOT of exceptions. like a looooooooooot of extenuating circumstances, so many as to make the original point maybe less poignant that it seemed.
Yes actually Vaush often says stuff without thinking it through and gets mad when called out on it. Thats not an issue with chat and it's often not that "weirdly specific" even if thats his goto response.
@@XMysticHerox What do you want him to do? Qualify every statement with like 50 exceptions? Chat is not capable of understanding generalizations and that's on them.
@@noiseisgold3n42 The problem is not him not addressing 50 exceptions. It's him making dumb points that have 50 issues with them that he dismisses as "exceptions".
i take 35 minutes in the shower because i'm half asleep and don't realize i haven't moved in 5 minutes
I take a 20 or 30 minute shower however long it takes to run out of hot water it helps with the debilitating pain I feel every morning and gives the caffeine time to kick in so I can be the acceptable level of social
@@nothanks9503😂😂😂
The worst is taking a 35 minute shower 35 minutes before I'm supposed to be at work. By the time I got out I was already late.
@@AdhamOhm bro how do you fumble that bad
@jessec.6876 less than 3 hours of sleep the previous night will do it.
“Clean your room” -Jorbton Peebleton
hehe
clean your room because you will enjoy it instead of doing it to avoid being shamed by Jerbon Percocet
I'm slaying the dragon of chaos and bringing order to the world. As in cleaning up after I make a mess in the bathroom
When I moved out, I bought a shit ton of cleaning cloths, kitchen towels, and a big laundry basket to deal with the dirty ones. feels so good to just have clean towels on hand. Towel cleaning was never so organized at my mom's house. My one regret was the getting cheap mircofiber cloths that shed lint everywhere.
Home depot shop rags.
My aunt is a teacher and has been since the early 80s, and says that she sees over the years an increase in parents working, how many hours and jobs, and the fact of both parents working, and a lot of kids being raised by the TV more. I think the culture has gotten looser and more hands off in terms of what it expects of children and the youth, and the other extreme was a problem at one time too in the past. So, young adults from the latest generations are less functional. It's at least partly a late stage capitalism thing. Although I do think gen z and millennials are more emotional intelligent than the boomers.
Yeah, i remember growing up on stories of my dad wanting this or that thing, and his paretns telling him to work for it, with chores as a kid, and with oddjobs as a teen. I was so excited for that, the idea of earning 10 bucks by doing work sounded like millions, but my mom forbid it as an antiquated thing, and told me i should just be thankfull for what i get for free.
Its been hard to develop responsible habits, and i partly blame it on that, anytime i was literally excited to do the dishes i got shut down
@@aguspuig6615this is so real. I'm a mental health therapist and I know that a lot of people have their parents voices in their head about chores, with the shame hanging over their head like a cloud. It's not always as easy as just "do the thing" and sometimes people have to unpack the thoughts and feelings that get the the way. Honestly I feel like boomers more often straight up repress their feelings whereas the latest generations are exquisitely over aware of their emotions, which is one reason functioning gets paralyzed.
Nah I’m still gonna say “adulting” because I was raised in a cult and didn’t learn how to be a human until I was like 20, and then didn’t get to find out I was neurodivergent and had severe and crippling social anxiety for another half a decade. I’ve earned this cringe.
This
Unfortunately, relatable on many levels (but not all)
man this is to real. I am an "adult" (allegedly) at 20 but I feel like a useless child and I have so many issues with my mental health I can bearly take care of myself
@@adeer87 take a 69th vote
I'm sick of this whining this is learned helplessness instead of seeing yourself as a victim, see yourself as the victor. You grew up in a cult but you broke free from that cult. That shows strength and resilience that you broke free from that situation. And learning to face your social anxieties and learning healthy coping mechanism and how to work with your anxiety. Realizing this will cause a feeling of liberation and you will become the Ubermensch and you will then be able to take control of the life you're given and rise above your shortcomings.
Big cleaning tip if you can’t find motivation to clean: schedule a date for a cleaner to come give you a quote. It will make you clean up so it doesn’t look as bad when they come
Then the sticker shock will light a fire under your….
Ngl my mom runs a cleaning service and doing this would prob ruin her day please dont do this
@@dragonslaya16why?
@@electron6825 Quotes are usually free, but the person working them up is still doing work. If you were running a cleaning service and a bunch of people in your area started asking for quotes with no intention of getting the service, that would drive up your costs.
I'm personally a fan of pretending I'm a guest coming into my home. Helps me get in a headspace where I'm not blind to some of the smaller messes
2:20 i literally ripped up carpet and re did the hardwood floors in a rental. The owner didnt even notice.
Don't say “Adulting” say I'm “cooming”
For neurodivergent boys, “how to keep house while drowning” is a very good book on how to keep your living space functional :)
When I was learning how to do the stay at home mom thing I struggled with keeping up with things and not having things properly clean. I got a physical planner and the first two weeks it took a while since each day I had to properly clean each area. Now each day is for one of those areas and it is such a quick process and my life has improved so much. If you have executive function issues, too, a physical planner (nothing digital!) might help. It’s daunting at first but then it’s just maintenance and if you do it regularly it takes very little time
Physical, digital, either gives short term help until the executive dysfunction makes keeping the planner up-to-date the problem, and then it loses any helping effect. For me that is. Any tool that helps is valid. For some, faking-till-they-make-it to be an adult works.
Yeah same I always forget to update my calendar, forget to check off my to-do list, forget to make a to-do list, and forget to write in the journal people recommended for mental health. I’m just so tired all the time, I can’t really focus on anything or tolerate the presence of others after a work week. I just sleep and occasionally eat, play some games, watch some videos, and struggle to find the energy to clean something or get out of bed or take a shower.
I cleaned my room last week and it hasn't improved my life at all. It was a miserable 5-6 hour process (because that's how messy it was), I was totally enervated by the end of it, I got no reward (no, the clean room isn't good enough), and it just felt like a giant waste of time. I only did it out of social obligation. Same reason I shower. It's miserable and I hate it, but I do it because I have to. But it's awful, and it will never not be awful.
The rent thing is wrong. Just doing it WILL result in you getting evicted. You NEED to have your tenants rights saved or printed out. I just had to do that in order to get a BATHROOM DOOR INSTALLED.
And the push pins were ACTUALLY something I was told we CANNOT do and will lose our deposit over it. Reading the entire lease is important. Especially if you live in a state where they don’t need a reason to evict!
Arizonan here :)
I mean no offense but I think your landlord might actually be the devil
Average landlord will say that since you changed a 20 cent outlet cover that violates your lease and you owe them $300k, which can be paid by selling your organs.
Don't tell them lmao.
I've never seen this happen nor has this ever happened to me, most people will do is keep the deposit if you're leaving if they even notice
@@MRFLAPPYTREEexactly just be constantly on edge that you could suddenly have a new bill or pissed off landlord at any moment.
@@maxsync183 you have yet to discover the special move of telling them to fuck off
@masync183 ...do you think landlords take inventory of light switch covers? If a 34 cent cover is broken go to Home Depot and buy a new one instead of looking at a broken cover
I hate that word, too, but I think people care too much about what people say. Let them do the annoying thing, it really doesn't hurt
0:18 he’s literally on the money with this. It’s so weird hearing ppl say this stuff. It quite literally makes any progress made feel so undervalued and unseen.
Also it’s weird how non serious a lot of the commenters are, for how serious he is. Idk man.
I commend Vaush’s chat for learning how to work a computer. From how most of them talk about themselves they have to steal 5 minutes of screen time in a broom closet before their abusive parents come back from the MAGA-store and screech about trans people or eating dogs; but these parents also take such thorough care of their child that the kid apparently can’t cook or clean for themselves, much less speak to humans they didn’t grow up with, etc.
"you all spend 35 minutes everyday showering anyway because you're depressed and you're [...] thinking about how you used to wanna jonk it but now you don't"
damn
story of my life ._.
I always thought of “adulting” in an ironic way.
But I guess I’m wrong on this one.
Ahh, that’s actually a dolt ing.
It originated as an ironic and sarcastic joke but then it became a real thing like most memes do
I'm in my 30's and this is the shit I'm trying to teach to my kids in elementary school.
This isn't stuff that people, or society, or parents make you do to be unfair to you. It's stuff that will need to be done for the rest of your life, to make your own life better. For you.
DO IT FOR YOU!
It's getting increasingly harder to ignore how infantilized we're getting by the generation. I'm not particularly one to talk but everyone must be seeing it. And as someone with really bad ADD, I don't agree with just using ADD or other things similar as an excuse to write off huge chunks of just being a functioning human being. This attitude around life has to turn around. So many people limit themselves and try to justify it. And it's unfortunate that the right has this market cornered. Basic discipline shouldn't be a conservative thing.
generation of largely self inflicted cripples
i always thought of 'adulting' as like doing taxes and paying rent and like paperwork
I'm AuDHD and I've lived with depression and anxiety my whole life, doing chores and errands is difficult, especially after a 10 hour shift, but I still do them, at my own pace and on my terms, that's life. I think I struggle the most with socializing, but I try every once in a while because I know it's important and my biology needs it. Life is difficult but nobody is gonna save you and you have to take responsibility for yourself.
I feel this hard. I'm in a similar situation and I found that conditioning myself to develop a process for keeping my home and basic tasks in order was a huge part in helping me manage better overall. Once i found what worked for me it's become second nature
This was caused by one problem: Boomers were bad parents.
boomers and gen X, especially because gen X's parents werent there for them so they never learned what good parenting looked like.
It's far easier to identify the small things that are making you miserable and address them, than it is to chase after an abstract idea of what might make you happy. This was a breakthrough in my depression therapy.
We suck at figuring out happiness, we are much better at identifying what makes us miserable and the majority of the time its small actionable items.
Also NO ONE EVER has gotten their security deposit back. That's literally just a move-in fee under a different name.
THANK YOU. I felt like I was taking crazy pills
I absolutely got my deposit back in the 2 apartments I’ve lived in.
@@WASDLeftClick Same, I feel like going through large renting companies is the best way to rent. Their is a larger network available to you for maintenance and other such things, and they don't thrive by screwing people over. Small landlords can do almost whatever they want and will absolutely try and squeeze everything they can out of you.
@@WASDLeftClick It depends. In the Seattle area it's common for a mandatory cleaning fee to be taken out of your security deposit
I don't entirely agree with this - cause to me adulting is when an individual does things that they typically struggle with even after years of trying to do it, due to one variable or another; but when they do it they feel like they accomplished something that, relative to them, was hard. It's not that it can't be done, but that their baseline falls outside of the expected stereotypical range of adult or neurotypical behaviors. Cleaning for example - while not something that people struggle with conceptually, there are a lot of people that find it hard or impossible to MAINTAIN. Being disabled or mentally unwell for example can make cleaning a nightmare and hard to maintain.
I can organize really well and think that cleaning isn't complicated to understand - but I still struggle with cleaning as disabled physically and mentally.
My physical limitations due to chronic pain and blood-pressure issues and then my depression, cPTSD, & autism trigger so many overwhelming moments.
Standing too long or the types of movement involved make me sore and light-headed after 5 to 10 minutes, sensory issues with gross textures or smells has made me nauseously sick, and dishes in particular digs up old trauma that has sent me into panic attacks and meltdowns. Depression adds it's own struggles too.. It's not as simple as 'get over it' or 'just do it'. That kind of thinking has it's own issues for this context. Like, I could go do some cleaning right now, but I'm already in pain, exhausted, light headed, and dysregulated.. The task wouldn't be complicated, but it would hurt me; and that's how I have to assess my day to day. I can't maintain a consistent cleaning schedule when I don't know how my body is going feel. Though, when I do get something done and I don't feel like I'm dying afterwards, I consider that success and that I adulted like a typical adult for that moment of time.
I do think that people shouldn't baby themselves if they're capable of doing something and choose not to do it for actual lazy or selfish reasons, so that part I agree with; I just don't consider dismissing the position disabled people are in on that level. Ultimately, context and not generalizing.
And on the other topic, not everyone can just change or ask their landlords if they can renovated.. people get fined and/or evicted for trying to do that stuff, and even asking can make some landlords more irritable leading to them being paranoid or hostile towards renters. In chat, I read several people echoing that sentiment and some saying they were put in debt and still paying for it - that kind of thing can ruin peoples lives. Idealistically, it would be nice if that wasn't the case but ya know...
just wanted to day that i know the struggle and wish you all the best. managing health issues means surviving every day.
@@fmleverynameistakenx thank you for your kind words & I hope you the best also 💙🫂
It definitely is a surviving first kinda deal.
I'd love to just be able to do things with little to no consequences, but everything I do has to be calculated on how much pain I can handle and be in now and later. What I can mentally process now and later 😅
Lack of third spaces stunted the growth for people.
VGG chat has permanent "bean soup" brain. You know, that TikTok where a lady explained a recipe for bean soup and like billion people went "WHAT IF I DON'T LIKE BEANS"? Yeah. I mean, if something doesn't apply to you, move on. Make these judgements for yourself. Kind of like an adult would.
Is that really what people use this word for ?that's not what adulting originally meant is it ? . Like, I'll say "I adulted" when I successfully masked as a no-nonsense no-whimsy person for my administrative appointments and stuff like that but it's about the social aspect of it
Maybe it's regional? My peer group always used it in college to talk about the things we realized were just "adult specific" versions of what we'd always done as kids. Sometimes there isn't even the adult vs kid distinction either. Like work instead of school, making food when we're hungry, cleaning up our living space, returning a library book, etc. Basically we made fun of the idea that things are special just because an adult is doing them.
I'm adulting right now.
Just clean up when you're done
it's not even entirely a mental health/depression divide on whether or not you keep your place clean, i'm convinced it's also largely just a matter of habits, i made cleaning my shit my whole OCD at some point in my life and always kept my place clean in the most depressing times i've been through lol, if anything it helped me cope. i wouldn't have let my dishes rot cuz it just felt way too wrong and would have put me in a crisis.
1:13 me when Vaush expresses an opinion and I close the video
Real
Facts.
It's all about just figuring out what mindsets help you be functional. Some people figure it out just fine. Others need to imagine that Monkey D. Luffy from One Piece would be proud of them for doing the laundry. But whatever works, works.
I've also really noticed how auto-infantilizing trans woman communities are. Often thru extremely mediocre anime.
I also do not like 'adulting' as a term but I will stand by being eepy.
It's why i've stayed away from those communities, personally. Just a lot of severely depressed people with a shared identity. Yeesh, no thanks!
@@cptsonicbelmont yeah they can be fun and really supportive but the endless anime and childishness gets on my nerves
My basement floor is super dirty and I'm gonna go sweep that shit RIGHT NOW
There's a line Kobayashi from _Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid_ just offhandedly mused about how some people never actually choose to be mature.
"Most people never actually _choose_ to be adults-they just reach a point where they can't remain children."
Love that show
Vaush obviously hasnt rented in Australia. If i met someone socially who admitted to being a property manager I'd have to walk away for fear of immediately punching them in the face. I'd rather socialise witha traffic cop.
I am adulting
Therapist & "adulting millennial" here. The term adulting is a good short hand term for explaining executive functioning issues to my clients with ADHD (and, more frustratingly, their parents). A lot of them have a hard time personally connecting to a jargon-y term like that, while saying "you struggle with all the adulting stuff". But it's also a good way of bridging the term with your point, which is that if you have ADHD a lot of the things you struggle with are still things you need to do as a human in this world to be alive/independent/happy. Having ADHD is a reason to maybe not clean your bathroom as often as you should, but it's no excuse to give up on ever cleaning it.
You taking adulting way too seriously!! There irony in a lot of speech, which can fun🎉 aka relax
Yeah true, I usually say “adulting” in a joking way lol.
@@adeer87 we got new norm pride flag pfp before gta 6
i love when every single thing i utter is some "ironic" joke hehe ! doesnt get annoying at all for people at all !!
Yes, you need permission to put holes in the wall or you could be charged for damages. Use command or adhesive strips instead. Same with your own home, you may want to not have something there and the holes start to add up especially if you change things alot.
Depends on lease/rent agreement and local laws. Quite regularly making holes for nails and screws is considered acceptable damage from everyday living and is protected by local law. That's how it is where I live.
@@TealJosh It’s not protected here in Minnesota and we are one of the leading states for progressive policy and renters rights. Unless you want to lose money check the lease and laws first.
@@TealJosh also i’d add that around here many of the walls are old, can have lead paint or are real lathe and plaster. You don’t want lead contamination and you can’t drive a nail reliably into what is essentially a concrete wall without taking out large chunks.
I guess the divide between most of the chat and Vaush comes from Vaush having parents that kept a good balance between involvement and independence. Most of us had overprotective parents and it shows in a lack of agency and feeling helpless. Those who had checked-out parents are burned out from too much responsibility and not enough support. Can turn into helplessness as well (if you make a lot of mistakes because you take on stuff that's beyond your level in childhood), you might internalize the "failure" label.
Key is prepare ting yourself. But you have to go into it conscious that fucked up people are fucked up parents and get some help in not repeating your parents mistakes or not over correcting for them. Because when overprotected people go overboard it's "all freedom, no structure". And that's not support, that's negligence. This leaves you in a filthy apartment, scrolling sm and feeling miserable.
Adult children of authorative parents also either burn out on perfectionism, or totally neglect their environment and self-care (as in healthy meals, exercise, dental checkups, not bubble baths and face masks). It's hard to find the self worth to do stuff for yourself when previously you did everything to avoid punishment. It's a shift from external motivation to internal one. And it trips people up.
I can see Vaushe's point about adulting being disempowering, keeping people in the "everything is a chore" mindset. You are not doing chores, you are taking care of yourself and your environment because you deserve healthy meals, clean dishes and a non-disgusting bathroom. And you have a lot of choice in how to achieve that.
ALSO: I'm kinda disappointed in Vaush for not educating the chat in tenants rights. Renting doesn't mean having to put up with unsafe stuff like loose sockets. Know your rights!
“you need the right mentality” i’m barely hanging on vaush, if i had the energy to “just do it” maybe i would, instead i wash one dish and then collapse
one of the more entertaining vaush annoyance things lmao. clearly something/someone drove him insane in the past. like i think it's cringey to say but voosh has a very specific hatred for it that's just funny. proud of the comments section lol
I let go of my 15 year old Catahoula leopard dog today. The pedantry hits different, and less important today.
I, having never uttered the word “adulting” in my life, have been forced by this video into the position of fighting for the downtrodden, divesting the scapegoats of their undue blame, and righting the wrongs of the world.
While this video is full of good, common sense advice, use of the word “adulting” is not often actually comorbid with learned helplessness. While I am sure that Vaush’s ancestral home of Twitter is full of twenty-somethings complaining about needing to buy food for themselves, most of the instances of the word “adulting” that I encounter in real life are spoken by Gen X and Baby Boomers. It’s a rare instance of cross-generational slang, an expression of frustration with the way the modern world requires unnatural tasks of people. I see it more often used by people who I consider to be extremely responsible in their personal lives, than I do anyone who seems to even be remotely struggling with being mature. You might say: “But TH-cam commenter! This is just anecdotal evidence! And while Vaush also only comes equipped with anecdotes, that just means your experience is no more true to life than his!” And I would agree, were it not for that I live in the same city as him and am at least somewhat aware of the social circles around his interests. There is simply no way that he is actually encountering depressed college students who complain about needing to clean their rooms regularly, and hearing them say the word “adulting”.
Also TH-cam’s spellcheck considers adulting to be a word, but not comorbid, apparently.
I agree to some extent, or more to the point I think you are referring to a more interesting and frustrating phenomenon.
To the point, I don't think cleaning is a particularly good "adulting" example.
A better one is trying to access different accounts online, many of them tied to your job, or your utilities, or your bank, or your website, or linkedin, or anything else you have for business.
Even as a millennial I find the amount of superficial "security" and pass codes and captchas and numbers needed for daily life to be ridiculous. For boomers, I see that it drives them insane. I wouldn't doubt it explains some of their reactionary leanings regarding modern life.
@@billhicks8 yes I think that’s a better example than what I said. I’m also just put off by the fixation on the use of the term “adulting” specifically as a point of ridicule. Most all of the ire for it is pointed at stereotypes of people that just don’t exist. No one who actually regularly says “adulting” uses it when explaining their actions to someone else, they use it when complaining to a third party about having to do those things. Young millennials aren’t getting upset and telling their bosses that “adulting is too hard today” when they are asked to do something at an inconvenient time, that’s just not a real problem the world has! Yet somehow there are all these viral skit videos of guys putting towels on their heads and pretending to be otherwise professional young women who just slip the word in at the worst time for the most cringe clicks
@@stirrcrazy2704 "Young millennials aren’t ... something at an inconvenient time,"
No, not out loud. But a lot of people are thinking it, they've organized the world into "fun stuff" and "adult stuff", which ends up leaving no overlap between them. Someone mentioning they do this in chat is what caused this rant from Vaush.
@@trianglemoebius i already agreed with what you are saying in my original comment. vaush was right to go on that tangent, people should find day to day chores at least to some degree personally gratifying. literally all i am saying is that the hatred for the term "adulting" as used in conversation is unjustified
This is some key advice. If leftists were more like you with regard to these sorts of topics they might not be so insufferable and pathetic.
I use the term adulting, but literally none of the things you've described are things I would refer to with that term. Those are just chores and self care, I've been doing all that shit in some form or another since I was a kid. Adulting to me is only things that you can't do until you are an adult, but have to do in order to be independent. Things like paying bills, getting your own insurance, and working a full time job. It's the bullshit that primitive man didn't have to do in any form, but that needs to be done to be an independent adult member of society.
When your pupper eats le chimpkin nuggies
We REALLY need to start differentiating between positive discipline that follows intrinsic motivation to keep things orderly or learning and maintaining a skill, and negative discipline that is imposed onto someone via authoritarian rule, where failure to adhere will result in stigmatization, like they do in cults, basically any school, the manosphere, or in the Army.
Oh and if doing your chores brings up old negative unresolved feelings from your childhood, instead of looking forward to the improvement, then a therapist can help.
I grew up hating doing my chores because my parents were complete dictators about them, so into my 20s I still avoided chores because I felt a sense of misguided independence from the avoidance. Add to that the feeling of being a total failure because my inner critic's authoritarianism was shaped by my parents/school/whatever.
I had to work through that shit as a adult and now I can enjoy a relatively clean living space. But I don't beat myself up if I occasionally let things slide for a month. That would be a waste of energy and my mental health.
ADULTING.
Vaush starts taking Adderall and suddenly is interested in cleaning his house the minute he sees something slightly out of spec. Does not see the connection. 🤦😹
I'm a Gen Xer who uses the word adulting sometimes. I use it sparingly mostly describing adult mundane tasks I'd rather not do but still have to such as taxes, shopping for health inaurance, filling out DMV paperwork, etc.
That all said Vaush has good advice in this.
I don't adult, I teenage.
Every stream:
Vaush: “I’m smarter and better than all of you”
Chat: “hee hee, please don’t ban me”
I usually use adulting ironically but honestly adulting got easier in steps. I got my house, turned 30, was diagnosed with ADHD, in that order. With each step I got better. I can make my appointments to the doctor, I fix stuff around my house, I even got the trees cut down around my house and applied for mortgage assistance. My biggest thing was getting help from a law firm that helps with debt. Its nice to be an adult. My cats agree.
I mean his adhd symptoms check out, i got all the same issues lmao
I began cleaning my room because of this and now I am locked in, thank you Vaush.
Bruh you are like an Internet father i needed that
jorking peterson
I mean tbf it's kinda funny hearing this from someone who seems to have coincidentally started doing all this after being medicated for his ADD
I'm not saying he's wrong nessisarily but as someone who recently got medicated for add myself after the years it took to actually happen it seems like that would be an obvious factor
I legit had an adulting class in highschool
Was it actually called "Adulting" though
All High schools should. I know parents are responsible for a lot of the house management teaching, but most households require two incomes these days so there isn't always time for parents to teach every skill they could be.
And it never hurts for students to learn some new recipes, how to do taxes, and other such important tasks that are vital to surviving on your own.
Too many people confuse discipline with oppression and put off having to actually take responsibility for their own actions until (in most cases) they leave college. I’m sure they’d attempt to do it longer but it’s a bit hard to avoid when you’ve already accrued excessive debt and need to “adult” in order to survive. So to be honest, when I see somebody talk about “adulting” it’s a good (albeit cringe) thing in the sense that they’re actually attempting to get their stuff together.
I have to say, I didn’t get the making the bed thing either but now it’s so essential to me. I have a nice clean space to put my clothes or laundry and I love snuggling into my made bed at night. I can never go back!
No I'm that far gone
That squeaky door? Get you some WD-40.
Changing my lightbulbs to this
That's so true. I had that mentality of "I dont know how to do adult stuff", and one day I decided that was enough. I grabbed a notebook and literally started noting stuff I wanted to do (changing sockets, taking care of flowers and electric devices etc). It took a while, but a list really helped. One year later I have a cookbook I made myself and I had felt comfortable enough in my abilities that I emigrated to get a better pay and finally be able to afford bottom surgery. Granted, I had a lot of luck and was not really rooted in my previous place, so it was easier. But yeah, your life can work. Once you start taking control of it, it should get easier.
I've been saying this for years now, especially with the whole "not enough spoons" thing. It's so juvenile, you're infantalizing myself. People had been using words like "emotional bandwidth" for years, it's the same thing. I had considered my stress/attention as a budget I can spend throughout the day for decades now, also the same thing. But it doesn't catch on as an idea until it's a quirky spoons metaphor, that drags people into comfortable infantalization and keeps you from actually addressing your issues. Don't say "adulting", don't talk about your spoons, go outside.
Whenever I lose something... time to clean.
Sounds like vaush has a case of the mondays
How bout the try not to say yapping every other sentence challenge next!!!
0:41 “You’re not adulting by making yourself food, are you? I mean, maybe for some of you, you’re that far gone”
Me, with ARFID, for whom even being around food is a stressful experience: 😅
Hell yeah another ARFID fighter, failing at basic bodily functions. Having panic attacks about going out to eat with friends isn't easy. I'll call making pasta night adulting and I'll be proud of it.
I’m kind of with you there, I’m on such restrictive medical diets it’s simpler to just tell people I can’t eat food.
You’re a minority. Sorry for your condition.
I have the opposite problem. My mouth is just an abyss that processes calories. It's why going mostly vegan was kind of easy and enjoyable; I get to shove infinite beans, lentils and rice down my throat!
How is that even related to the Vaush quote?
As an adhd boy there is a difference between my organized chaos and my depression mess
11:30 that is literally exactly me and I have ADHD lmao
I've always made minor alterations to my apartments all the time. I've used ceiling-mounted hooks to install my own overhead lighting, installing a bidet, I always replace the shower head, hell at one place I even replaced the faucet in the kitchen sink because the default one was dogshit. I just never bring attention to it whenever they come into my apartment and undo everything when I move out and no property has ever said anything to me.
That's because you aren't making permanent changes. You change it back when you move. Try and paint the walls without asking or tile the floor, or God forbid mess with the electric
@@chelseaj6063 Vaush explicitly says in the video that he's no talking about those things.
@@jerrodshack7610 but he did say it's ok to swap out an outlet
This is just 'omg you people can't do anything' the video