Top Social Anxiety Tips for Confidence!

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 416

  • @sergiomendoza3304
    @sergiomendoza3304 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +186

    My core fears are being judged by others and then leading to rejection/being alone and seen as a loser/weird. Thanks for the great video!

    • @bhumikayady5739
      @bhumikayady5739 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Sameeee 😢

    • @dijanazdrnja3997
      @dijanazdrnja3997 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Same

    • @UrMom-6942
      @UrMom-6942 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Me too man. Hang in there

    • @EmergingForward
      @EmergingForward 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Yeah I relate. Sometimes it helps me to say to myself "It's none of my business what others think of me."

    • @susanhampton9671
      @susanhampton9671 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      We are all judged by people. You are not alone. Don't reject yourself first. Work on your core concepts. Ask if what you are thinking is a fact. What is the proof?

  • @faisalarghandiwal7508
    @faisalarghandiwal7508 2 ปีที่แล้ว +962

    My big fear is the fear of being seen anxious

    • @drali
      @drali  2 ปีที่แล้ว +116

      That comes up a lot. Some exposures for that include telling someone you’re anxious or exaggerating the physical symptom of anxiety that you experience. If it’s sweating you’re concerned about, you can splash water on yourself. Or run in place and then go talk to someone.

    • @glow2490
      @glow2490 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      What about the fear of being anxious & shaking in front of someone or freezing up?

    • @wardahshahid2758
      @wardahshahid2758 ปีที่แล้ว

      😄

    • @glow2490
      @glow2490 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      ​@Alenabell Road to 70 subs! Right, that's why I'm asking about that specific one. I know what it means. 😊

    • @oFancys
      @oFancys ปีที่แล้ว

      Likewise :(

  • @akashverma5756
    @akashverma5756 ปีที่แล้ว +147

    Even thinking about these exercises makes me anxious.

    • @j.r.1823
      @j.r.1823 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      I find them a bit much/ overwhelming as well. Much "smaller" situations would already trigger my anxiety enough... I think it's ok if we go slow and also adjust some exercises, to make them less intimidating. Or choose other, a bit less scary actions that would help us step out of our comfort zones. You're not alone!

    • @IdekIDontEvenKnow-q7u
      @IdekIDontEvenKnow-q7u 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @jessicaras4540except he won’t respond

    • @TatchaiBunmas
      @TatchaiBunmas 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      that's a good sign then. means you'll grow from it

  • @j.r.1823
    @j.r.1823 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

    I don't like video calls and talking to strangers can make me feel uncomfortable and insecure. I'm very proud of myself that I managed to chat with all of my sons teachers per video call for parent teacher conferences this week anyways! I was worried about moments of awkward silence or that I would come across as nervous or stumbling over my words/ saying weird things. But none of this really happened and I managed to stay pretty connected and even had some moments where I enjoyed the conversation. 😊

  • @oldrap16
    @oldrap16 2 ปีที่แล้ว +155

    Binging your videos and crying because it is such a relief to hear someone validate and articulate what I experience nearly every day. I would love to try some of the exposures but unfortunately the stakes and in turn, the fears are doubled because I live in a country where I'm not fluent in the language yet.

    • @anniesoernym
      @anniesoernym 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Maybe asking strangers to take a picture of you would be doable for you? You'd just seem like a tourist who knows at least _some_ of the language, which is something natives tend to be quite appreciate of.
      You also don't need to know the language to wear something funny/strange in public! (For me personally, though, that would still be harder, because I am uncomfortable with being looked at for an extended amount of time 🥴)

    • @oldrap16
      @oldrap16 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@anniesoernym You're so sweet thank you so much for the ideas! I absolutely hate having my photo taken but I could ask for directions or something like that. Wearing something strange would definitely be a HUGE challenge for me because I already feel like people are looking at me and judging me constantly. It would be my nightmare but maybe that means it's a good thing to try :)

    • @faisalarghandiwal7508
      @faisalarghandiwal7508 ปีที่แล้ว

      Try TRE exercises. I've got healed by this amazing thing

    • @anshulagarwal7069
      @anshulagarwal7069 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same here

    • @venkateshgowda7853
      @venkateshgowda7853 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same here

  • @amandavaldegas7500
    @amandavaldegas7500 ปีที่แล้ว +118

    My issue stems from my habit of reading too much into body language and social cues. If I’m feeling good and confident and approach someone, and they look visibly uncomfortable or nervous I can’t help but shut down and it gets awkward very fast where I want to run away 😅 this comes to play more with people in a romantic scenario or people that are not as open or enthusiastically friendly with me. The sense of comfort is needed for me to navigate these situations.

    • @AJ-qb1sx
      @AJ-qb1sx ปีที่แล้ว +1

      just wanted to say you’re beautiful haha

    • @donatello9482
      @donatello9482 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@AJ-qb1sx thanks bro

    • @paperchasindude6578
      @paperchasindude6578 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I’m exactly the same way

    • @j.r.1823
      @j.r.1823 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That's interesting. For me it's usually the opposite. When someone I approach seems nervous, it can help make me feel more confident, because it puts me in the "stronger" position. I usually have more issues when people come across as very confident, that can trigger my insecurities. (Even though, lately, as I have been learning a lot about narcissism, I learned that the people who seem overly confident oftentimes actually have a very fragile ego and knowing that helps me.)

  • @missoctober8859
    @missoctober8859 2 ปีที่แล้ว +216

    My social anxiety is worse around certain types of people. Anyone else relate?

    • @drali
      @drali  2 ปีที่แล้ว +87

      I’d say that’s very common with social anxiety. Certain people can feel more safe while others seem like more of a threat.

    • @Tunlence
      @Tunlence 2 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      @@drali So true. Especially if a certain person or group of people makes you feel inferior, intimidated.

    • @garbrah180
      @garbrah180 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I really relate to this. I've been trying to put myself in environments with people I feel afraid of. Maybe I'll give these exercises a try.

    • @krisha5750
      @krisha5750 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I also have the same problem..I am so anxious around my relatives as I don't meet them on the daily basis..I really hope that one day I can be free from this 'social anxiety '

    • @0FFICERPROBLEM
      @0FFICERPROBLEM ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Yes, kids and older people I'm more comfortable around, it's much worse with like young adults, around my age

  • @weykzo7255
    @weykzo7255 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +42

    when i hear about these exercises i want to burst out crying

    • @weykzo7255
      @weykzo7255 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      like literally..it literally happened to me not a while ago

    • @natatattful
      @natatattful 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Same

  • @aliseyar4908
    @aliseyar4908 2 ปีที่แล้ว +85

    My biggest fear is loneliness. I’ve lost friends last couple years. They were really close to me. It broke my heart so much, then consequently i feel i have to be funny to my friends and i crate clown mask. End of the day i would say this is not me, i’m not happy with current me. I want to be myself even i feel sad and lonely.

    • @TOMB0I_1020
      @TOMB0I_1020 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      ♥️♥️♥️♥️u

    • @fabiolisha
      @fabiolisha ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I feel you

    • @harivamshivallamkonda927
      @harivamshivallamkonda927 ปีที่แล้ว

      I feel the same

    • @imtiazadar5475
      @imtiazadar5475 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same

    • @susanhampton9671
      @susanhampton9671 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I'm sorry for your losses. Please have at least one friend you can be your true self. Journal your tough feelings out. It may help you feel better. Look at the the 10 cognitive distortions.

  • @Victory63219
    @Victory63219 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +23

    I have struggled with mental illness and my mental health since I was a kid. Before I even knew what those terms were. After years of depression, anxiety, and even an attempt to take my life, I never thought I would be able to live without psych medications. I clung to them because it was the only thing that made my mind quiet, but it also made me a zombie. Microdosing has given me control of my mental health for the first time, and they essentially gave me my life back.

    • @ohmakure4716
      @ohmakure4716 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      The Trips I've been having really helped me a lot. I’m now able to meditate and I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well

    • @dilara4130
      @dilara4130 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I was having this constant, unbearable anxiety due to work stress. Not until I came across a very intelligent mycologist. He saved my life honestly

    • @dilara4130
      @dilara4130 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      His name is *DR Adolf Petter*

    • @ryancihet555
      @ryancihet555 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @ohmakure4716
      I feel the same way too. I put too much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels. I am also glad to be a part of this community.

    • @aydin6219
      @aydin6219 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@dilara4130Does he deliver to various locations?

  • @ocdandanxiety
    @ocdandanxiety 2 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    Love this! The more we face uncertainty and doubt and respond differently to it, the more confident and less anxious we become! 👍

    • @drali
      @drali  2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Well said!

  • @drali
    @drali  2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    In case you’re wondering, Mario Kart DS is my favorite version.

    • @B00s3
      @B00s3 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I was wondering, my favorite is the SuperNES version. The nostalgia I get from that game is great.

  • @DivinelyRoseTalks
    @DivinelyRoseTalks 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +20

    The biggest thing keeping people with social anxiety is often their mindset. These tips will actually help you, if you think the whole world is just judging only you, then you're wrong. I used to suffer from extreme SA and the only way I got rid of it was once a few years ago by drinking then eventually exposure to the things I was afraid of... It's not easy because it's a battle within yourself. SA is very hard to overcome when it's at it's strongest, but you have to be comfortable with being judged, and realizing at the end of the day you are completely normal, if not it's ok to be different. You must get to a point of being tired of being afraid that you will do anything to be normal. Accepting your anxiety and overcoming it is powerful, you need to be vulnerable in order to be strong sometimes. It's not a weakness or something to be ashamed of, you have to see yourself as a strong person for dealing with such a scary negative human emotion, and once you overcome it, you will feel stronger than most people.

    • @aylinm.3589
      @aylinm.3589 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      You're so right. Just now in this season of my life social anxiety is at its peak, I think it was never this bad actually. So much that even a coworker talked to me about it and then I told her about my struggles. I think she told some other people for my sake because now they all want to talk to me and they're all extremely nice so like you said I think you have to be vulnerable and I want to be able to talk about it and for people to understand, especially when being anxious makes me seem rude and uncaring. I'm also trying to overcome by challenging myself and some things are harder than others but I know ultimately I'm safe. Anyway God bless you and have a great weak 🥰

    • @mydanny6523
      @mydanny6523 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Thanks for advice, I need hear this 🙌

  • @RyanScarbrough
    @RyanScarbrough ปีที่แล้ว +27

    I'm afraid people will think I'm anxious and make them anxious. Then when they become anxious I become even more anxious. It's so sad. 🙁

    • @aylinm.3589
      @aylinm.3589 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      samee

    • @mueezyasir
      @mueezyasir 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      The way to break out this cycle to accept your anxiety for what it is rather seeing it as a pest. Anxiety isn't contagious btw

    • @RyanScarbrough
      @RyanScarbrough 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @mueezyasir Thanks for the insight, I will meditate on this! 💙

  • @suqarlatte8691
    @suqarlatte8691 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    My core fear I think is people judging me for who I am, how I act and what I look like. I’m scared that in someone’s eyes I’m not good enough..? And that I’ll be rejected and left alone in all situations, although I do love being alone a lot of the times in my life. But Idk..

    • @ZeCahli
      @ZeCahli ปีที่แล้ว

      Same same same 😪

    • @triciasmith2305
      @triciasmith2305 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Me too.

  • @mnemoh
    @mnemoh ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Thank you. I did the core fear exercise and discovered (although I deep down already knew) that my core fears are that people will not accept me and I'll suffer consequences for being an outcast.
    I realize that living in my fear will inevitably push people away and my fears will come true and the cycle continues with me being more afraid.
    I think for me, instead of always thinking about what other people are thinking about me, I need to do the things I value doing and be the person who I want to be.

    • @kman_34
      @kman_34 ปีที่แล้ว

      100%, same here

  • @harristytydawg
    @harristytydawg 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    My fear is being judged. I didn’t use to be like this but moving to a different state in your early 20’s trying to make friends and having people ghost you with no reasoning you start to wonder if something is wrong with you. If you wonder enough, you actually start believing something is wrong with you which is what happened.

    • @powerviolents
      @powerviolents 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      felt this, i haven’t moved but most of my old pals won’t return calls or texts. if they *do* end up answering, it’s always a no or “i’ll let you know” (obvs i never hear back).

  • @myAPIcjourney
    @myAPIcjourney 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    My core fear is being rejected and criticized. I think people think I am boring or have nothing important to say. I also fesr people misinterpreting the meaning of what im saying and then getting angry

  • @rebeccaaherrn3397
    @rebeccaaherrn3397 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    The issue with exposure for me is not about actually trying them, but how to handle the consequences or the extreme cringe or awkwardness that follows.
    For instance, the scenario in a cafe, where if I order a coffee, and later tell them that I wanted a tea instead. What if they say no. Or what if they react rudely.

    • @kumaresank4630
      @kumaresank4630 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hey.. those are just examples. You should try on your own fears

    • @levimark548
      @levimark548 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​​@@kumaresank4630As far as I understood, she wrote, that the consequences are actually her fear. So if she should try on her own fears it wouldn't be an example anymore 🤷🏻‍♂️
      Would be helpful if you have some ideas how to handle such situations ?

    • @lirenxu7030
      @lirenxu7030 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Need an answer too

  • @Phoenix_7568
    @Phoenix_7568 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    One thing that helped me was just doing stuff alone, like going to a coffee shop or a movie. I’ve even been to a concert alone. Had a great time with myself and I wasn’t anxious 🙂🤘

  • @daviddimalanta259
    @daviddimalanta259 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Core fear I had are shame, trauma from family-related issues and autism-related violence. It's also difficult especially in dating life and making new friends. Thoughts I might think for the worse includes getting arrested for saying a wrong word or harassment.

  • @nffc3309
    @nffc3309 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    One of the things I struggle with the most is when I am in a silent room/environment. I start to focus on myself and my breathing and any sound I make such as loud breathing or even dropping a pen I feel like will draw lots of attention to me which I don’t like.

    • @drali
      @drali  2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Makes total sense. A big part of all anxiety based problems is learning how to be less focused on what’s inside you and more on what’s outside. That’s difficult when there isn’t much going on out there. It might help to remember “oh this is what my brain does when I’m in a silent room, it magnifies what I’m doing and what’s happening inside.”

    • @nffc3309
      @nffc3309 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@drali Thankyou for the reply! Your videos are really helping me and many others.

  • @missflummadiddle
    @missflummadiddle 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    my core fear is being laughed at, people making jokes about me, being ignored and laughed at when I try to be serious or tell how I feel, and when I don't want to do something and refuse but other person is imposing so I give in but I feel resentful and bitter later on. I fear being assertive and that if I am not able to do that so people will make me their puppet to joke about. I don't fear being left alone, I fear being this puppet that has to come to her master on any command

  • @1bcordell
    @1bcordell 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    What sucks is that I want to get better, but I absolutely do not want to go into public and expose myself in an embarrassing way. This is what makes me feel so stuck. These kind of tips really make me feel like I am doomed to be an outcast the rest of my life.

    • @Untouched77
      @Untouched77 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      You dont have to do that. I was scared to go into grocery stores and pay but ive taught myself to do that, making my anxiety better, and i didnt do anything embarassing. just do things youre scared of, small steps at a time

  • @powerviolents
    @powerviolents 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    i like how the rejection exercises section made me immediately tense up and feel an intense feeling of dread lol

  • @DobbyAFreeElf01
    @DobbyAFreeElf01 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Ive always been to myself growing up but now at 23 i really am regretting not socialising at a earlier age. Its getting out of hand and to the point where its starting to affect my child and others in my life, i find it hard just trying to leave the house for something as important as food for my kid. I know its all in my head but its hard to be in public and not think people are watching your every move

  • @nastyapentegova
    @nastyapentegova 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    My main fear that people will sense how miserable I am and that I’m useless and that people will judge me because how I’m unconfident is

  • @hannahjoy4857
    @hannahjoy4857 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    My social anxiety feels worst after I spend a great day with people I know love me the most in the world, but at night I lie awake wondering whether one little thing I said was the wrong thing. I'm afraid people don't actually like me and that I'm being talked about behind my back.

  • @appythakre
    @appythakre ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Sometimes making conversations makes me feel tired than I feel on completing my 3km run

    • @TiftofDel
      @TiftofDel ปีที่แล้ว

      i feel same way

  • @monigiselle2140
    @monigiselle2140 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I was doing the exercise, and I have a few core beliefs fears like a combination of rejected, embarrassed, and criticized.

  • @micilovesami
    @micilovesami ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I embarrasse myself daily, it will be hard to beat it :,) I have discovered your channel yesterday, it helps a lot, especially coming from someone who has been in our shoes. Thank you so much for sharing so many things with us!

    • @Striving_soulz
      @Striving_soulz ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I want to do this to defeat my ego and do more exposure especially in social situations. Do you think embarrassing yourself has helped you learn more ?

  • @uttercolor
    @uttercolor 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    My problem with this for me is that intentionally lying about the context of a social interaction to people just to gauge their reaction adds a different layer of anxiety about being a bad person that's separate from my social anxiety.
    I mean if someone came up to me for help under false pretenses and i figured that out, i would not think too highly of them, i would feel used.

    • @ChickNPawks
      @ChickNPawks 27 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Most of these exercises boil down to being inconsiderate to someone else and wasting their time.

  • @nicholascosta4242
    @nicholascosta4242 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    this hit home. i work sales and referals are supposed to be a good thing, i only meet clients once because if i make a good impression than im nervous that i have to live up to that again. your videos always hit different.

  • @noorjahanmansoori5628
    @noorjahanmansoori5628 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    When i try sharing thoughts , no one listens to me. That's my fear of going unheard

  • @kirsten7883
    @kirsten7883 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I’m going to try to ask more people how they feel about me and my social skills in group settings as this is where I feel most socially anxious.

  • @DriveFastEatGrass
    @DriveFastEatGrass 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    first step to cure your anxiety. Do what makes you anxious.

  • @AviationPilot91
    @AviationPilot91 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    So great to know that I'm not alone, though, it seems everyone else who experiences this are online.

    • @j.r.1823
      @j.r.1823 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Most people are just more comfortable expressing their anxieties online, it's so much easier than showing that side of yourself in real life. Trust me, there are a lot of people with such issues everywhere around in real life too. Some people are very good at hiding it, but lots of people have mental struggles, in one way or another, including anxiety. You're definitely not alone.

  • @anniesoernym
    @anniesoernym 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    What makes me really uncomfortable about some of the excercises you proposed is that by doing them I would be inconveniencing other people. I'm not sure that's something I should do 😕

    • @ErebosGR
      @ErebosGR 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yeah, some of them seem like pulling pranks on people just so you can feel better...

    • @drali
      @drali  2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      People bring up that concern a lot. Something to remember is people with social anxiety have a MUCH lower threshold for what is considered inconveniencing someone. Most people who have it think nearly any request they make of someone else is an inconvenience.
      That being said, usually there are versions of these you can do that are bringing about the attention on yourself and also don’t inconvenience anyone. For example, dressing up in embarrassing clothing doesn’t hurt anyone else. Playing a guitar in public doesn’t. Neither does asking someone to take your photo. They’re all just part of living in a socially connected community.

    • @anniesoernym
      @anniesoernym 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@drali_"Most people who have [social anxiety] think nearly any request they make of someone else is an inconvenience."_ Oh! Well, if that doesn't describe me to a T 😅🙈

    • @drali
      @drali  2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Takes one to know one :-)

    • @gkiss2030
      @gkiss2030 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@drali "Something to remember is people with social anxiety have a MUCH lower threshold for what is considered inconveniencing someone."
      Excellent point here, never thought of that this way :O

  • @Sixty0h4
    @Sixty0h4 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I've found that my core fear is being unsuccessful. I feel like I've been alright so far, and I guess I don't want to mess that up.

    • @drali
      @drali  2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      That's understandable. If you haven't had much experience with setbacks that feel like a failure, those experiences can be scary.

  • @davidwhitcher1972
    @davidwhitcher1972 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I don't connect to people ever. I could speak to someone all evening and in the end feel nothing for them.

  • @YourGuideToSelfLove
    @YourGuideToSelfLove ปีที่แล้ว +1

    These tips were actually very helpful thank you. I know other creators say that confidence is key which it is but sometimes you don’t feel confident all the time and want real answers. Definitely will be implementing these tips.

  • @Jayrome321
    @Jayrome321 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Wearing my anxiety on my face in social settings was a big struggle I had for many many years. Since I was a teenager.
    I can overcome it sometimes but sometimes it creeps up unannounced

  • @dreamer2774
    @dreamer2774 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    My biggest fear is that they will know I am weak and attack me... as it happened before. I feel like I always need to either become invisible or look scary/unapproachable and never make connections because that could also make me more vulnerable to them. Yeah, trauma-based fear of people is real.

    • @samdovels1234
      @samdovels1234 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Most people are good and not out to harm you or judge you. Unfortunately, due to some negative experiences with evil people the anxiety sets in and doesn't differentiate between good and bad people.

    • @mueezyasir
      @mueezyasir 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Go gym or do martial arts

    • @mueezyasir
      @mueezyasir 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Go gym and do martial arts

  • @jay_thebroker
    @jay_thebroker 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Doing dares does not make me anxious but its the one on one conversations when i need to talk about myself … it makes me sweat soo bad and i look so anxious no matter how hard i try to fight it

  • @foramthakkar1017
    @foramthakkar1017 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Yeah ! I also feared of myself in socialising feel like I'm a weirdo and but got enough of attention in my school life to a anxious person is a bliss and sin itself .
    Want to cope up soon otherwise it's dangerous to yourself , pain is inevitable but misery is optional.
    Simple thing be kind to yourself .

  • @echo5435
    @echo5435 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    For every exercise you said my brain just went: "but they'll be madddd"

    • @GunShyGymnast
      @GunShyGymnast ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes! Like…how do you get out that situation gracefully? Like…how many times do you ask to see Mr.Dunkin?

    • @samdovels1234
      @samdovels1234 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Exactly! It's not even fair... Why should I make people wait at an ATM...? But we need to get the point of it, not every example works for everyone.

  • @vifren9024
    @vifren9024 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    All these are excelent exercises. I have overcame it for the most part but when I get away from social situations it comes back. The only positive things is that I know for sure how to overcome it now. Its just time and effort but its easier as I know that its possible.

  • @HassnainAleeshah
    @HassnainAleeshah 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    After reading so many comments about people confessing their anxiety actually helping me about one of my thoughts that im not the only one who have these issues with every day of my life i feel like in anxiety you are not living you are surviving everyday

  • @MapleWorldd
    @MapleWorldd ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Your tips are unique and exactly what i've been looking for. these tips give me anxiety yes, but also give me hope :) at least I learned that these situations do happen in real life and it's normal and it's fine! thank u so much, Dr. Ali.

  • @TigerMeow-zg3nf
    @TigerMeow-zg3nf 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My favourite exercise is to ask the places which I do intentionally and speaking to public. Thank you so much sir, it really works and I try level best to do all the exercises listed here. Thanks ❤🎉

  • @joerenner1649
    @joerenner1649 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    My biggest fear it getting taken advantage of and the humiliation of being taken advantage of

  • @Nature-zu3tc
    @Nature-zu3tc ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This guy is a genius. I got this, I mean we got this. Let’s gooo

  • @Hafgren
    @Hafgren หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I've had social anxiety for as long as I can remember, I was able to mask it to a degree because I was aware it was unreasonable. However, I got a brain tumor that left my face partially paralyzed, and that I couldn't hide, so it's only gotten worse over the years.

  • @peetabread171
    @peetabread171 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I have become very interested in politics the last few years. One thing that helped me last summer was petitioning! I had to ask hundreds of people if they wanted to "sign my petition so my candidate can get on the ballot in November". It took my out of my comfort zone and with my main core fear being rejection, it helped me practice that too. I definitely had people tell me no, I also had people who asked questions and I didn't know how to answer. It was amazing exposure therapy and it always felt so good afterwords. Petitioning is great too because you still feel a sense of accomplishment. even if I had 100+ rejections I still got many that said "yes".
    My advice, even if you don't like politics, find a local independent political party that needs help collecting signatures . the exposure to rejection, criticism, and embarrassment are real but it's so rewarding to have the accomplishment of collecting signitures AND facing your fear

    • @michaelb2279
      @michaelb2279 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you for stepping up to help someone run for office!

  • @colina9031
    @colina9031 หลายเดือนก่อน

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WE NEED MORE SOCIAL ANXIETY EXERCISES

  • @zachkuvinka2968
    @zachkuvinka2968 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Just lost my gf primarily to this. Killing the vibe in public always scared to be myself around new people. I truly hope this videos helps me solve my problem and learn to live a better way of life.

  • @RealMKproductions
    @RealMKproductions 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    You had me at “Exercises you can do on your own to combat social anxiety.”
    Because that means I don’t have to be around people to work on my fear of being around people 😅

  • @EileenNunes-z7c
    @EileenNunes-z7c 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Always afraid of saying the wrong thing

  • @kulsoomashraf2190
    @kulsoomashraf2190 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Hi Doctor Ali Mattu ! My anxiety stems from the fact that I don't articulate myself well. I end up being misunderstood so often that I feel lazy correcting people.

  • @matthewnaldzin4642
    @matthewnaldzin4642 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    thank you for the video Dr. Ali. I am really enjoying your videos about SAD. I guess my hesitation or lack of motivation is that I think I am more comfortable being socially anxious than doing any of the CBT techniques discussed. I just don't want to pull other people into my struggle and ruin their day.

    • @drali
      @drali  2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Glad you’ve found these videos helpful!
      For motivation it’s totally fine if someone doesn’t want to change the current situation. To clarify this you could make a list of things you currently like about your social anxiety. Next you can make a list of things you like less about it. Then rank 0-10 how much you want to change it now. If this is a time you’re happy with the way things are and motivation is low, that makes total sense and don’t put any pressure on yourself to make a change you don’t want to or need to.
      If your fear is about ruining someone else’s day by doing any of these things, that is definitely a part of social anxiety. Most people who don’t have social anxiety, while they might not seek out these types of situations, would be able to do them and not worry that they have ruined someone’s day. And if that is a big concern for you, focus on the exercises that have less of an impact on someone else.
      You could wear something embarrassing, play a guitar in public, write a typo, ask someone to take your photo. All of these things are normal parts of living in a community.

  • @decod5r
    @decod5r 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    The rejection exercises sound good im going to try them out thank you

  • @lauraoshiro6897
    @lauraoshiro6897 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This video is great!! But if anyone tries to follow up every single tip that is given (those practical exercises), that person is actually gonna end up being hated 😅 😂
    But I feel good after watching this, it's nice to see people who have been through the same problem giving tips and solutions, cause I often feel lost and can't find a way out of this

  • @CommunityChannel65
    @CommunityChannel65 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    That is pretty specific stuff, thank you.

  • @imaginareality
    @imaginareality ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Of all the examples in this video, the one that really made me cringe was going up to a stranger and greeting them as if I know them. I think one of my fears is to get something that should be obvious wrong and then embarrass myself. I get really anxious when I have to wish people a happy birthday (because what if I got the date wrong?) or when I have to by a bus ticket from the bus driver (what if I pronounce the name of the bus stop wrong and/or get on the wrong bus?). Also, two years ago I had a garden and barely used it because it made me really anxious to think about being observed while in my garden (what if I mow the lawn in a weird way or do something else that's wrong?).

    • @anonymousbird-4
      @anonymousbird-4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Instead of greeting strangers, start with a smile. I started to practise smiling and its really giving me benefits. Try smiling all the time whether you feel like it or not. Its a very gentle smile on the lips, not forcing much. Your brain releases feel good hormones when you practise it.

  • @KFB__
    @KFB__ ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I'm anxious about being anxious in front of people! Its hard for me to stay socially connected and I often feel trapped or overwhelmed. When the discussion turns to me, I really panic. I struggle to concentrate and stay on conversation. I just want to run off and be alone. I was once a social Butterly and thrived in social situations. I don't know what has happened to me.

    • @allievlogs490
      @allievlogs490 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      same might not be the same for you butI i used to be a social butterfly as well and did not care ab peoples feedback I actually enjoyed awkardness in other people bc it showed their authenticity and quickly knew how to reverse the convo and make it feel comfortable. After some tramautic experiences , losing friends and being in high school really changed the way I perceived myself and made it 10x harder to communicate with peers and join conversations almost feeling like im frozen

    • @sabrinaihh
      @sabrinaihh 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      This is exactly me! I was once, a few years ago, THE personality in the room and always felt super confident but over the past couple years I have been struggling with self doubt and have dug my way into this hole, wondering how I got here. Some days its easier than others, but when its bad I just feel so awful and trapped.

    • @KFB__
      @KFB__ 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@sabrinaihh I'm sorry to hear that. It's a horrible place to be, and a vicious cycle! I hope it gets better.

  • @SubhalaxmiGarg
    @SubhalaxmiGarg 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I am quite introvert . I don't why it makes me shy when I face guests or talking to strangers. Even it has become difficult talking to relatives😢but I talk with my friends and parents without any fear. I will try these tips

  • @missflummadiddle
    @missflummadiddle 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    maybe I will try doing a survey but even making normal shopping in small store makes me anxious☠️ so I think I will start with buying stuff more often, also thanks for this video I hope I will be able to do those excercises in the future

  • @outstandishing
    @outstandishing ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This video was so helpful! What I've noticed with myself is that all of these exercises, particularly for rejection or embarrassment, I would feel 100% more confident doing them if I had a friend with me who I'm very comfortable around. I wonder what to make of that...

  • @lynnetnjokiwainaina4492
    @lynnetnjokiwainaina4492 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    My Core fear is been Judged by other people I never had Social Anxiety I just developed it by been isolated from people.

    • @sallybutler1005
      @sallybutler1005 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I think lockdown caused mine.

  • @haonyoass9556
    @haonyoass9556 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thank you so much for the social anxiety videos. Thank you so much

    • @drali
      @drali  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you for your kind comment!

  • @fyr3st0rm65
    @fyr3st0rm65 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    my core fear is... people thinking i'm too angry all the time

  • @AnitaMajor-f1m
    @AnitaMajor-f1m ปีที่แล้ว

    core fear: ppl will misunderstand and misjudge me, spread lies what will destroy me, and eventually nobody will see the real me. Now this is complex, and im just realizing.

  • @joelgarcia3907
    @joelgarcia3907 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love this guy. Thank you for helping us all out

  • @SSEL_RAEF
    @SSEL_RAEF ปีที่แล้ว

    When I'm socially anxious, I'm afraid people think I am dramatic
    When people see me as dramatic, I'm worried that they won't like me and think of me as an example of the type person they severely hate.
    I don't want people to dislike or hate me.
    I don't want to dissapoint others expectations.
    It suggests that I'm too weak

  • @salma-amlas
    @salma-amlas ปีที่แล้ว +7

    My core fear is that I'm a coward. If i am a coward, i am afraid of standing up for myself, standing up for others, doing what's right.
    I am scared that people will know I am weak, which will reduce my value from their POV. Which means I will be worthless to them. All my achievements won't matter.

  • @samuelmyllyaho6066
    @samuelmyllyaho6066 ปีที่แล้ว

    The anxious picture looks more confident XD. anyway, your content sure means a lot to people. Be proud!

  • @hagnbike
    @hagnbike หลายเดือนก่อน

    Interesting topic. I have some kind of meltdown in social situations. It feels like I want to have fun and be part of the group, but I just can't. I simply don't know what to say and how to act. Then I'm getting mad at myself because of that and spiral down with negative thoughts. From the outside I look like a zombie and I start declining everything even when other people try to engage with me or give me cake or something.
    Last weekend we went to a wedding. It happened again and I decided to take a walk to catch some fresh air. I ended up waiting in the car for 10 hours until the wedding is over. It feel like a situation I cannot win. I feel miserable being there. I feel miserable not being there. And I'm so so sad that I can't just have fun like everyone else. I'm experiencing this whenever I'm left alone at a party, club, event...
    It's also hard for me because I have absolutely no interest (and knowledge) about all the topics that are usually coming up at parties (politics, history, geography, music). I can't remember names, I can't sing songs (and don't remember artists, song names), and when something comes up that interests me I tend to interrupt and overshare...
    I have ADHD (inattentive) and maybe some elements from the Autistic spectrum (not sure, I got the ADHD diagnoses a few months ago, we haven't gotten further yet).
    I know that avoiding social settings is not a solution... but just thinking about them makes me depressed.

  • @danielmoore9214
    @danielmoore9214 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I prefer this style of solution oriented stuff 😃

  • @christina6656
    @christina6656 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Thank you so much for bringing this subject to light. So many people have no idea what social anxiety is! They just think it's being withdrawn and shy. I became aware of my social anxiety about 2 years ago. I've lived with social anxiety pretty much my entire life. Its been completely crippling at times. I've had so many big dreams smothered by the likes of social anxiety. I've been working with a therapist for the past year or so but I just don't feel like I'm getting much out of it anymore. I need more help with social anxiety specifically and talking about my feelings and my week isn't cutting it. Not to say it hasn't helped me but I feel like I need something different, something more targeted. Do you have any suggestions? I would love to find a Doctor with your level of experience in this matter.

    • @drali
      @drali  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Glad the video was helpful! Try looking here (services.abct.org/i4a/memberDirectory/index.cfm?directory_id=3&pageID=3282) and here (members.adaa.org/page/FATMain) for a therapist that does this type of treatment.

  • @STO7rides
    @STO7rides 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I'm suffering from social anxiety like more than a 3years idk what was going on with me now i know what's going on so I'm still fighting for it& i have never done job till now so one day i go in job i keep going for like a week and that time i used to smoke stuff so at the 6th day of work i smoke at my break time & that time my anxiety become so high i leave my job but i feel proud at some point i try to do even when it was draggin me so much it was really worst & still it is... every seconds was feeled like I'm surviving..

  • @zimplezarah09
    @zimplezarah09 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My core fears are: abandonment and rejection. It always happened to me. It hurts that the people Itusted most chose to leave me and not to be part of their life anymore.

  • @gurmita280
    @gurmita280 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you so much. Your content is so underrated!

  • @lotus8321
    @lotus8321 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you so much....facing mind barriers intentionally with courage....thank you🙏

  • @mghtwehtwemg8674
    @mghtwehtwemg8674 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    of course, the ways the ideas you have explained here are really a SUPER HELPFUL INFORMATION DR. Than you so much. With Best Wishes.

  • @easy_coder_01
    @easy_coder_01 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

    excellent video, thanks for taking us through the process

  • @flymypg
    @flymypg 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    "Make friends with it". Yes, indeed.
    When I was a newly graduated and hired engineer, I was immediately given higher-level responsibilities because I had worked my way through college while working part-time at that company. I had received so much support and flexibility there, that it directly contributed to my academic success (as did the pay, as I was an independent student).
    I had to present my designs in Design Review meetings, where peers and management would review my work and offer suggestions. To me, these "suggestions" felt like rejection, harsh criticism, attacks even. A huge change compared to the pre-graduation relationship. My anxiety and stress raged. I began visibly sweating, fidgeting and exhibited many of the other signs of panic. Finally, in one meeting, unable to contain myself further, I broke down and started "ugly crying".
    My boss took me aside and gently helped us both understand what was going on, and what we could do about it. The underlying cause was clearly my warped perception of what absolutely was very constructive criticism. This was before I started to receive effective treatment for my depression, so I was dealing with that as well. I was basically a crunchy depressed core within a fluffy anxiety wrapper.
    The conversation took me to a very simple place. Before interacting with ANYONE on a professional basis, I'd repeat a simple mantra: "I NEED feedback to succeed. I LOVE criticism!" This put me in a near-ideal receptive listening state, encouraging me to "lean in" to the criticism, to try to obtain all I possibly could from the interaction.
    This change in perspective triggered an enormous change in my professional demeanor and conduct. In particular, it encouraged me to go the extra mile when delivering my own feedback, making me a much better collaborator.
    The anxiety was still there, deprived of its power, though it did still serve to keep me on my toes!
    Friends with criticism? Sure. Then it turned into a superpower.

  • @saifzia1078
    @saifzia1078 ปีที่แล้ว

    My fear is being scared of harm from others and thinking that people will take advantage of me if they know that

  • @katerynasmyrnova4373
    @katerynasmyrnova4373 ปีที่แล้ว

    thank you! Now I know a new word - selfsuiting!

  • @rubin-healmysocialanxiety702
    @rubin-healmysocialanxiety702 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This is great! Get to what's fueling the social anxiety underneath ❤

  • @onestarhunter1
    @onestarhunter1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Hey, just discovered your channel. Thank you for your work, I wish you had more views! I've found so many answers to my questions

    • @drali
      @drali  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Impact is worth more than views 😎 Thanks for being part of the community!

  • @Neeteshsingh00
    @Neeteshsingh00 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Once my freind told me that you are look weird when you show face expression i think that hits in my mind and whenver i talk i have to show my face expression then i dont able to make eye to eye contact conversation and later i think this develops into social anxiety

  • @CyberPotato123
    @CyberPotato123 25 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    My fear is being judged in the gym, because i dont want people to think im weird or someone who doesnt fit in or is supposed to be there and i dont want people to laugh and look at me

  • @frankk9105
    @frankk9105 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Even imagining myself doing these exercises makes me anxious😭😭

  • @asraf497
    @asraf497 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Hi Dr.Ali
    I am a college student. My anxiety and fear is
    When I entering the other class
    When I meet a crowd and when I talking with girls
    How do I overcome?

  • @Neeteshsingh00
    @Neeteshsingh00 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Amazing i will definitely try these exercises

  • @BBaum05
    @BBaum05 ปีที่แล้ว

    Trying to get off SSRIs I have had two major panic attacks. There were no triggers. Now I live in fear of these happening any time l leave the house, I've also developed claustrophobia. Long drives alone, I'll have anxiety attacks.

  • @nikola4986
    @nikola4986 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you for the video! Great work!

  • @justsaying8753
    @justsaying8753 ปีที่แล้ว

    I believe, overall, it's a strong fear of shame.

  • @illumiNateX7
    @illumiNateX7 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Hey Ali, your favorite Facebook commenter here! Just an idea, I feel like your channel name should be more specific to what you do, like The Psych Show is what drew me in, but if I saw Doctor Ali I wouldnt exactly know what you do off the bat, and youtube is heavily visual with a lot of competition so you wanna stand out as clearly and quickly as possible! I know name changes are hard and very thought out, but i just wanted to voice my opinion on it. Either way I will stick around just trying to help you grow as much as possible brother, much love!

    • @drali
      @drali  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I def feel you on this. I loved "the psych show" but for years I've received feedback from other folks to shift over to Doctor Ali. Whenever I am in person no one used the name "the psych show" but they did always call me Doctor Ali. I also want this to be a channel that has lots of different 'show" formats - explainers, reactions, and reviews. The Psych Show sounded a bit more limiting there. Lastly, I'm diving more into mental health and less into broader psychology topics.

    • @illumiNateX7
      @illumiNateX7 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@drali as I figured a lot of time and thought was put in, and I totally understand what you’re saying, and I can’t wait for the broader topics, I love the stuff you cover! Keep it coming brother 🙌🏼

  • @yaboisartre5844
    @yaboisartre5844 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    11:05 if you freeze this frame it looks like he’s teaching people how to be a menace 😂😂

    • @EileenNunes-z7c
      @EileenNunes-z7c 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      This causes me anxiety!