And then some! In all seriousness though, this video isn't even the most profane one I've seen from Thomas; anyone reading this should watch some of this other reviews of bad keyboards.
The video's creator is going way beyond what's normal by inventing new and funny terms. If you are using this as a guide after learning our shitty language, that is truly some legendary shit. Hats off to you!
That sounds like a stable name Ace Austin would come up with on Impact Wrestling. Just imagine, Ace Austin, Rob Van Dam, Joey Ryan, ALL in one stable called "Counterfeit Cleavage" with Katie Forbes just chillin in the background as a manager I know, I'm a nerd XD
I had to use one of these during my child hood. My family somehow thought it would be great given its "accolades" (typing up things for homework still haunts me in my dreams). Thanks for reviewing this for me. It brings closure of one the darkest times of my life.
If I had any friends alive I would give them my unicomp model m. Its both a nice move from me because its an awesome keyboard AND a divk move because its not very suitable for gaming. (But even then its not that bad. But if you're not used to it the keys feels so... significant that pressing one wuickly out of reflex can be hard at first if you're only used to rubber down and browns like I was)
@@theonlybass8947 do people even do lan parties anymore? It's kind of annoying that more and more games are forcing you to have to buy one console per player I mean I thought that was a thing of the past when the 3DS was killed off. But nope can't play squads fortnite with one console.
It’s 1:00 am for me and I don’t care I will watch this. Also what is the actual tumor of a keyboard. God it sounds like a ballsack stuck on a leather chair during a Texas summer
Wow, nothing screams more "Early 2000's tech" like this cluster of wannabe fondlers. I don't think I would be able to play Dark Souls 3 with this thing... (By the way, I don't reccomend playing Dark Souls with any keyboard, ever, trust me)
@@ballsinurmouth-2 No matter how easy or hard you find the game, the hardest boss is the keyboard control scheme. It's pretty obvious that the PC port was done as quickly and cheaply as possible, so all the analogue inputs just got mapped to keys, which makes them completely binary. The choice of keys for each input is also pretty weird, and doesn't really draw a lot of inspiration from other similar games, so you can't easily transfer muscle memory across. They could've taken advantage of all the extra keys in some way, but they didn't. Really clunky, really not fun.
@@jamiepeterson5646 You didn't set your own? It might be due to the fact that I haven't owned a controller since the PS2 days but I found that with some adjustments, Dark Souls was fine to play on PC
I'll quote you from a different video - "I wouldn't even touch them with _your hands"_ I'm going to take a shower now, because I feel disgusting and violated by the existence of that horrid creation.
This is the first video of yours I've seen. I haven't even seen any of your other videos, but I gotta subscribe just for the way you speak. I don't even care about keyboards that much!
I would have liked to have seen you do a Typeracer or other typing test on this vs your normal results. Always interesting to see how terrible key design directly translates into lost efficiency.
I'm feeling conflicted right now... on one hand, these videos are an absolute delight and I keep coming back to them because of how much I love them. On the other hand, I'm starting to feel bad for enjoying Thomas' misery so much
I LOVE the new Waning ident It's 666 Nuclear Bombs of Anger in Imperial Units Also, I LOVE the boob Jokes. SJWs are offended, but everyone else is happy.
As a Brit I am truly honoured by this Dutchman's mastery of our colourful language. Or perhaps that should be colourful mastery of our language. Great video as always anyway!
I think I lvl up my "creative swearing" skill about three times while watching this video. Thanks! Just missing a table flip at the end of the typing demonstration.
Reminds me of something they'd have in a primary school so aggressive usage and the various mysterious fluids released from the kids can't damage it. Except it probably wouldn't be able to handle it.
So, I saw your Planck keyboard review while you were talking through helium, and that gave me an idea. I don't know if you would even consider trying an idea so dumb. But, what if you filled a tub with sulfur hexafluoride (aka deep voice gas/SF6), opened up a keyswitch in the tub, filmed it, did all the mods to it etc, and closed it off. Would that make the switch sound thockier? It, even if it doesn't work, would make a great experiment for sure.
I'm assuming his knuckles are red by mashing his hands inside just to type a starter sentence, the poor suffering this man goes through just to reviews these things are truly what defines a hero.
It's 'Waning' and not 'Warning' to wind up pendants and also to both warn and disrespect those who give a shit about swearing.
Ehm, surely you mean 'pedants'.
@@grey1883 Comment of the year :p
@@Chyrosran22 Cheers mate, I'm honoured
@@grey1883 The "pendants" is a trap too btw :p .
@@Chyrosran22 Sure, but what use is an unsprung trap?
The whole idea of this design is to simulate typing with the Lazer keyboard on someone's ass cheeks.
lmao
Ooh, that explains the nicely placed arrow keys then!
No, even that would be better than this keyboard
Spacebar smells like fish or sm
Lord Of Keebs Putting you on r/cursedcomments
He used all of the curse words ever documented in the dictionary.
Hah, plenty more where that came from! ;D
🤣🤣🤣
And then some!
In all seriousness though, this video isn't even the most profane one I've seen from Thomas; anyone reading this should watch some of this other reviews of bad keyboards.
@@Neightr0 someone should make a playlist of them
And this is why I love swear words
As a learner of English language as a second language, this video is a great source of swearing expressions and dirty words. Thanks.
Have fun swearing
Pf, you'll love AVGN then
The video's creator is going way beyond what's normal by inventing new and funny terms. If you are using this as a guide after learning our shitty language, that is truly some legendary shit. Hats off to you!
Keep in mind these are UK flavored insults. In America saying cunt can be extremely offensive but in the UK/Australia people say it more often.
@@thehammurabichode7994 calculus levels of language lol
I'm going to start a band called Counterfeit Cleavage
That sounds like a stable name Ace Austin would come up with on Impact Wrestling.
Just imagine, Ace Austin, Rob Van Dam, Joey Ryan, ALL in one stable called "Counterfeit Cleavage" with Katie Forbes just chillin in the background as a manager
I know, I'm a nerd XD
@Yung Dagga Dick samee
Tepes mock knockers
I think CUNTACLISM is a good band name too
Ha ha
That was the most painful typing test i’ve ever witnessed
i can agree on that
It sounds like mining stone in Minecraft
@@Quaker1 hahaha
That was harder to watch than tiktok cringe comps. Dear Lord
Did you even see the SafeType typing test?
I had to use one of these during my child hood. My family somehow thought it would be great given its "accolades" (typing up things for homework still haunts me in my dreams). Thanks for reviewing this for me. It brings closure of one the darkest times of my life.
Oh dear, I hope you don't have lasting mental damage xD .
Do you have younger siblings who still live with these monsters?
Do we need to call someone to help them?
this is the keyboard you give to your friends when they come over to play quake 3 arena
“yo, we’re having a LAN party. bring your own CRT’s.”
@@theonlybass8947 Good times!
For the ones you don't like.
If I had any friends alive I would give them my unicomp model m. Its both a nice move from me because its an awesome keyboard AND a divk move because its not very suitable for gaming. (But even then its not that bad. But if you're not used to it the keys feels so... significant that pressing one wuickly out of reflex can be hard at first if you're only used to rubber down and browns like I was)
@@theonlybass8947 do people even do lan parties anymore? It's kind of annoying that more and more games are forcing you to have to buy one console per player I mean I thought that was a thing of the past when the 3DS was killed off. But nope can't play squads fortnite with one console.
W A N I N G
P R E P A R E F O R S W E A R
P O P C O R N T I M E
Can't tell if 'WANING' was some inside reference, or if it was just a really big blunder.
@@MaxwellCEdison It's a long-running in-joke, a trap designed to catch pendants :p . Surprising amount of biters this week xD .
@@Chyrosran22 I have a feeling that the use of 'pendants' is also a lure to catch biters, don't know why though.
i really like how much profanity comes out of his mouth in that calm narrator voice.
kitty!
@@KokoroKatsura REEEEEE >:3
I don't like it, he's trying too hard to sound like AVGN or something.
you can tell how angry he is even in the typing demonstration
This thing is... (inhales)
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIDEOUS
Edit: BTW can't wait to see a gaming footage... with this monstrosity.
@DKfilms sadists*
H key is stuck...
Avatar of diabolical diarrhea
We must acquire additional HIDEOUS keyboards.
It looks like an extraordinarily uncomfortable.... toilet.
Oh my god, the sounds it makes are just... that typing demo it going to haunt my dreams for days now
Sounds like typing on wet sponges lol
Sponges that were used to soak up tears
It really does it even sounds worse than my membrane gaming keyboard.
That's a kickass new "WANING" animation, love it!
usually something has too much ping or something else in the demo, this sounded like something crawling through a wet log
Oh dear Lord. Always a pleasure to occasionally hear the clock tick in the background
Now I can't unhear it. Thanks XD
This has to be the best review I've ever had the pleasure of viewing. The amount of ways to describe a turd are endless and worth hearing.
i can't stop laughing watching that typing demonstration. really good content mate, hats off
The thought of having to use it every day actually makes me feel a little anxious, so many props to you
TH-cam: do you want a TH-camr that has an asmr voice and swears like the angry video game nerd?
Me: *Y E S*
topre fans be like: those thoccs tho
Nahte Snikoh T H O C C > usability
"Mom! Can we get a backlit keyboard?"
"We have a backlit keyboard at home."
Backlit keyboard at home:
It sounds like a mortician having their way with a cadaver 😮
That's the best fuckin comment here.
This is one of the funniest "typing tests" I've ever seen. Thank you.
"4K HD picture of Goatse"
Like there wasn't enough awful early 2000s sin in this video
"Cuntaclysmic" - recorded for future use :)
IDK how I missed this. Especially this all-new, amazing *ＷＡＮＩＮＧ* intro
"The striking of your clock kept me sane during your typing demonstration."
It looks like that 1 third party controller that your friend gives you when he has no other controllers.
The fact that I can feel the hand pain by just watching you type is crazy
"It's beer and popcorn time my guys"
Okay... Honey, I'll need beer and popcorn... Yeah I know it's 9 AM !
The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast!
I could watch reviews as honest as this all day every day. Love it dude!
It’s 1:00 am for me and I don’t care I will watch this. Also what is the actual tumor of a keyboard. God it sounds like a ballsack stuck on a leather chair during a Texas summer
The alliterations, allegories, and delivery of your swearing is just pure raging poetry.
I died laughing when you started typing because I didnt think the keyboard would sound as you described, but you were spot on!
I needed this. Thanks, Chyros!
The Gordon Ramsay of technology
This is actually unintentional ASMR, please make more of these without any cursing LOL
Wow, nothing screams more "Early 2000's tech" like this cluster of wannabe fondlers.
I don't think I would be able to play Dark Souls 3 with this thing...
(By the way, I don't reccomend playing Dark Souls with any keyboard, ever, trust me)
That just sounds weak to me but okay. Its quite ez tbh
A Twerking Yoshi beat Dark Souls 3 with a bunch of bananas but that probably felt better than this keyboard. :D You can find his video from TH-cam.
@@ballsinurmouth-2 No matter how easy or hard you find the game, the hardest boss is the keyboard control scheme. It's pretty obvious that the PC port was done as quickly and cheaply as possible, so all the analogue inputs just got mapped to keys, which makes them completely binary. The choice of keys for each input is also pretty weird, and doesn't really draw a lot of inspiration from other similar games, so you can't easily transfer muscle memory across. They could've taken advantage of all the extra keys in some way, but they didn't.
Really clunky, really not fun.
@@jamiepeterson5646 You didn't set your own? It might be due to the fact that I haven't owned a controller since the PS2 days but I found that with some adjustments, Dark Souls was fine to play on PC
I played ds3 with keyboard and mouse and had no problems with it
Cronenberg-ed up keyshapes is the funniest, yet most accurate description I think I have ever heard.
you can really hear how it's sticking to the membrane. I had to skip half the typing demo.
he is so passionate about a keyboard and i'm surprisingly with him
That keyboard frame that you can pop out looks like a bargain bin discord logo
ooh yummy, time to hear some lovely words
Doc Mcstuffins been there, wasn’t disappointed by the choice of words 🤣
I'll quote you from a different video - "I wouldn't even touch them with _your hands"_
I'm going to take a shower now, because I feel disgusting and violated by the existence of that horrid creation.
I’m seeing this just now on my recommended and his voice makes his comedy amazing, I’m absolutely losing my shit, you got a sub from me
This is the first video of yours I've seen. I haven't even seen any of your other videos, but I gotta subscribe just for the way you speak. I don't even care about keyboards that much!
I love your insulting of these keyboards, your rhyming makes me think of you like some sort of cuss word doctor suess.
This had to be the longest and most enthusiastic 'HIIIIDEOUSSSS" ever! Loved this one Thomas.
I DARE YOU TO DESTROY THAT KEYBOARD WITH A HAMMER!!!
It would squish and be gross xD .
No, just use Hydraulic Press to destroy it completely...
Do not torture a poor innocent hammer with that abomination
idk why my friend even sent this but i love you this was one of the most entertaining videos i’ve watched in a while
I would have liked to have seen you do a Typeracer or other typing test on this vs your normal results. Always interesting to see how terrible key design directly translates into lost efficiency.
i saw the thumbnail and thought it was a footrest
One wonders, why
Edit: dear god the sound it makes is horrendous... Typing demo XL please. Sorry, Thomas. Sorry.
*rolls eyes* xD
I'm feeling conflicted right now... on one hand, these videos are an absolute delight and I keep coming back to them because of how much I love them. On the other hand, I'm starting to feel bad for enjoying Thomas' misery so much
8:30 when u mine blocks in Minecraft
he's so aggressive and so calming at the same time
I’m feeling AVGN vibes in this video 😂
This is one of the best things I've ever watched. You're awesome
oh my dear god. this is all i can say.
The benefit of staying up late: New Chyrosran22 video
Video: WANING
Me: I love to see Chyros suffer :)
I pretty sure he tame us to be the Sadistic at this point.
Just looking at this thing is actually raising my heart rate.
The bullshit is strong with this one, I like it!
Uh the keyboard not you.
yuck! it even pulsates when you typed on it at the end. XD
I'm surprised, when I saw the thumbnail I thought you were going to love it and it was going to be your new daily.
Challenge: beat Doom: Eternal on Nightmare with it.
Very eloquent video, you've gained a fan
When is one handed version review coming?
The raw fury this video gives off is staggering
Housebound coronavirus people need you to read audio books!
I like the "Hm" key, like it's self aware.
*WANING*
Ah yes, it's definitely bad when Chryosan himself misspell this word.
He uses waning in most of his other videos
there are two reasons why I come to this guy:
1: his reviews (ofc)
2: his colorful vocabulary
I LOVE the new Waning ident
It's 666 Nuclear Bombs of Anger in Imperial Units
Also, I LOVE the boob Jokes. SJWs are offended, but everyone else is happy.
Lol, I'm an "SJW" and I found them funny. Turns out tit jokes are just funny, who knew, right?
Where do you see all those offended SJWs?
Best Saturday morning Video i have ever seen. Thank you
Every time I see "waning" I know its gonna be a good one.
This guy is so much like Ashens and after less than a minute I love it.
my new gaming keyboard
I've found it, the European AVGN who just reviews keyboards and swears in a far more polite manner. I love it. Cheers m8
If the definition of underrated amalgamated into a living being, he would be it.
As a Brit I am truly honoured by this Dutchman's mastery of our colourful language. Or perhaps that should be colourful mastery of our language.
Great video as always anyway!
I think I lvl up my "creative swearing" skill about three times while watching this video. Thanks!
Just missing a table flip at the end of the typing demonstration.
that typing test sounded brutal i'm sorry you had to experience that
4:44 "COUNTERFEIT CLEAVAGE". Holy shit. How do you do this, HOW DO YOU COME UP WITH THESE?! Seriously, this is amazing.
Reminds me of something they'd have in a primary school so aggressive usage and the various mysterious fluids released from the kids can't damage it. Except it probably wouldn't be able to handle it.
Some of the best swearing I've heard in ages.
The inventor (Barbra Sexton if I remember correctly) really won some award for innovation with this piece of shit
So, I saw your Planck keyboard review while you were talking through helium, and that gave me an idea. I don't know if you would even consider trying an idea so dumb. But, what if you filled a tub with sulfur hexafluoride (aka deep voice gas/SF6), opened up a keyswitch in the tub, filmed it, did all the mods to it etc, and closed it off. Would that make the switch sound thockier? It, even if it doesn't work, would make a great experiment for sure.
It's amazing to hear how many things this guy's divine deity does.
The way the other keys compress when you press a single key TRIGGERS ME.
this thing sounds like walking on a pool of honey with crocs
That "Waning" sure is fitting considering the name of the keyboard. Still *_HHHHHIDEEOOUS!_*
7:43 "I'd rather look at a 4K HD picture of Goatse all day long" - best comment of 2020 so far Thomas, LOL :)
Dude you are now my favorite youtuber xD
I'm assuming his knuckles are red by mashing his hands inside just to type a starter sentence, the poor suffering this man goes through just to reviews these things are truly what defines a hero.
I saw the thumbnail and just knew this would be a good one
Best typing demonstration on the channel! :D :D Your suffering, dear sir, has brought out a lot of laughter, thank you.
Haha, glad someone enjoyed it at least xD .
This is my favourite video now. Thank you