Stop Saying Good Job
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 31 ก.ค. 2021
- How often do you say "Good job' to your children?
Most parents probably utter the words “good job!” four, five, or even ten times a day. Sometimes they genuinely mean it and sometimes it just comes out of their mouth automatically .
Lots of people mistakenly think that this is good parenting... butt actually it isn't
This type of praise doesn’t actually increase a child’s self-esteem, but rather makes them more dependent on the approval of others.
Watch this video to understand more and also get tips on what to say instead of "Good job"
00:58 - What is The Montessori approach to praise
01:05 - Acknowledgement vs. Praise
01:27 - Why shouldn't we say "Good job"
02:50 - Maria Montessori's take on praise
05:46 - Encouraging children to take pride in their own work
06:35 - Helping children to identify their own strengths and weaknesses
07:08 - Nurturing a growth mindset
08:05 - Making feedback specific
08:40 - Letting childen share
09:15 - How a smile helps
09:40 - Take the attention back to the child
10:00 - Acknowledge specifics
10:30 - Be a role model
11:15 - Wow - the control of error
11:40 - Alternatives to good job
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Yes 🙌🏽. It’s so important for children to feel successful within themselves without approval from anyone else. How empowering ⭐️✊🏽⭐️
Glad you liked it
@@SunshineTeachersTrainingCCC GVC c CCCl❤rrqa
Wow, I've never thought of what was discussed here in this video. It gave me a realization that achieving a growth mindset could be instilled on young children this way. Thank you.
Thanks for your kind words and thank you for watching.
We all say this without understanding how it may affect. Thank you for this
Thanks for watching
This is soo different the way I used to think .. but this is soo true .. working with children I say well done n good job so many times thinking about encouraging them making them feel proud of their work..
but I will try my best to control my impulse and replace praising with acknowledgment
Thank you so much.
You are so welcome.
It can be challenging at first but before long it will become part of you
Thanks a lot! I'm a mom from China, and I learnt a lot from your video. Very practical.
Glad it was helpful!
So far the most important article I have watched today... I think I have been a victim of'goid job' but how I realize how important it is to avoid it and use alternative words so as not to interfere with the kids natural development and also encourage independence, self pride❤
Thanks for watching.
You Did It! :-) Very Thoughtful message indeed!
You touched upon the point of employees working their heads off just to see a dry 2 word "good job" mail at the end of months of dedicated quality work. I have seen and experienced this so many times. These experiences helped me grow to just enjoy my work without sparing a thought for the mechanical "good job" mails that may/may not come. As I matured, such mails were more a source of amusement rather than being a source of inspiration :-)
Wonderful Teachers like you help me stay optimistic and still believe that the next gen managers of the corporate world may be more thoughtful towards the people who report to them and not the boring and heartless "good job" robots :-)
Thank you for watching
You explained the examples and points very clearly, thank you! I’ll share with my Montessori classmates
Wonderful - thanks for watching
Thank you very much in explaining in a detailed way, which cleared my doubts. 👍👍👍👍👍
You are most welcome
Great video thank you! In the end you mentioned this can also apply to parents too. I have a 1-year-old and he lights up every time we praise him. I am going to try my best to instill in him the importance of being proud of himself and not relying on adults for that validation.
Wonderful
Wwwowww!! I cannot possibly love this more. This is such a beautiful way to affirm the person that children are.
Thanks for watching
I understood the concept better now. Thank you
So happy yo hear that
I just found your videos and I thank you for making them. They are so helpful for me to try and use these techniques in my classroom. I take notes so I can remember all the vital information. Thank you!
I am so glad you are enjoying our videos :). Thanks for watching
This makes so much sense. After I first watched this video I kept catching myself saying "good job". So I thought long about why. i think the change is hard because I am teaching ESL. So the more nuanced reactions are harder. My students don't yet understand "how do you feel about this?" but a thumbs up and a "good job" they understand. So I'm reminding myself that a warm smile is universally understood. And I can teach the older students more specific phrases, then recruit them to translate for me. I have the local language skills to use phrases that promote self evaluation, but i'm not supposed to speak that much Chinese with the children. Anyway... I have watched this video several times to try and get it stuck in my head what to say instead.
Thanks for watching
I love this. Encouraging independence and confidence in themselves. That's huge. Thanks for sharing this!
You are so welcome!
Clear explanation.Thank you
Glad it was helpful!
This was so educative .Thanks for sharing
Thank you for your kind words and for acknowledging the educational value of the video. I'm delighted to know that you found it informative and helpful. Sharing knowledge and promoting thoughtful ways of interaction, especially in education, is what drives us. Your feedback and the #goodvibes are much appreciated. If there are any other topics or concepts you'd like to see covered in future videos, feel free to let us know. Stay tuned for more enlightening content! 😊
Really wonderful thought. This is so important for a teacher.
thank you for watching.
I can't thank enough for your valuable information
Glad it was helpful!
Exactly I was thinking today how to encourage them instead of good job ... Unexpectedly got this thank u so so muc for ur video I learnt
My pleasure 😊
Phenomenal explanation!
Thanks so much for watching :)
Wonderful thought thank you so much for your explanation 💞
Thank you for watching
Thanks so much!!
Glad it helped!
Thank you so much…
You're very welcome! 😊 If you ever have more questions or need further assistance, feel free to reach out. We're here to support you on your Montessori journey. Thanks for being a part of our community
Thanks for your Advice I’m going Practice myself God bless keep up the good work ✝️🙏🏽❤️
You are so welcome
I am so happy about the explanation given, l definitely put it into practice.
You're welcome
So true!! And hard to put in practice also, we are all so conditioned... Thats why Montessori is so important, transformative and Revolutionary :) Carol Dweck also talks about this, growth/fixed mindset and how praises influences our inner motivation thanks for spreading awarness!! :)
Thanks for sharing!!
Very helpful thank you.
You're welcome!
Ty for the great explation
Glad it was helpful!
It’s been awhile now where my husband an I have been trying to figure out how to properly talk to our almost 4 year old about things. He is in a new phase of saying no and not listening to us. It’s been hard because we know there is nothing wrong with us the parents or him the child. It’s just us as parents trying to find the right words to use that better suits him to be comfortable and have that growth mindset. This is exactly what I needed as a mom for this new age❤ I appreciate you and the information you shared. Thank you
I am glad it was helpful
Thanks, it took me a while to learn to do things for my self-happiness and not to worry about others' opinion. This technique will help the students to be self confident and to do things for the right reason.
Wonderful!
Thoughtful and motivating
Thank you
Thank you ☺️
You’re welcome 😊
I have heard people say it is condescending. “I’m not a dog.” I like to be praised when I’m doing a good job. 🤔 Maybe I will say I like how you did that or something else.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! It's really insightful to hear different perspectives. You're absolutely right that praise, when genuine and specific, can be very encouraging. The Montessori approach does appreciate the value of positive reinforcement. However, it also emphasizes the importance of helping children develop a sense of intrinsic motivation, rather than relying solely on external validation.
Your idea of saying 'I like how you did that' is a great example of specific and constructive praise. It acknowledges the effort and method, rather than just the outcome. This kind of feedback can help children understand what they did well and encourages them to continue exploring and learning.
Remember, every child is unique, and what works best can vary from one child to another. It's all about finding the right balance and approach that supports their individual growth and development. Keep up the great work in exploring and applying these concepts! 😊
An amazing video. I love it
I'm glad you like it
Thank you proffesor
My pleasure
Love it 😍
Thank you for watching
Very useful video. I will improve my self .
All the best
Thank you so much. I was struggling with this. I ' ve been learning and practicing to say specific things to my daughter when she does something. For example when she does something like taking her dish to the sink. I will say: I can see you took your dish to the sink and also washed it. How does that make you feel? But later when she sings a song or makes a drawing she turns and aske me: " Did you like it? And here is where I was getting confused. I didn't know what to make out of it. What to answer, if to say yes I did or how to make her feel good about her song. Now with this video it is clear. Now I can see that she is trying to get my validation and my aproval so she can feel accepted and validated. But I have to make that validation hers not mine. So when she does things. She will do it for her, to feel she is achieving somthing, she is doing it for her own joy and passion. That she is capable to do it and feel confident and worthy . That to do it makes her happy and feel good about herself and no need to please somebody or get the aproval of anybody.. Then when she ask me next time if I liked what she did. I will ask her. Did you like it. How do you feel about your, drawing, music, song, etc. So I will make sure to make her achievement hers and not for someone else. Thank you 🙏
Thanks for your comment :)
Wowwwwwww i never thought of it... Amazing 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳👌👌
Thank you
It was so helpful
I am so glad :)
thanks
You're welcome
Thank you for this explanation, you are so right. Thank you.
Glad it was helpful!
Recently i joined a Montessori school...this vdo will hlp me to Don't give them praise i hope
wonderful :)
Hey very insightful
Definitely changing the way I do
You know what now listening to you is addiction to me and changing bit by bit
I am so happy to hear this
Hey! I'm inspired by your admiration.
Wow, I'm pretty convinced now. What do you think when teachers or parents still call their on a one one one and tell that particular child " Good job" without publicizing it
Personally I feel it is still conditioning the child to work for praise not self satisfaction
Great
Thank you so much for your positive feedback! It's wonderful to know that you found the video valuable. If you have any thoughts or experiences related to the topic that you'd like to share, I'd love to hear them. Your insights can greatly enrich our discussion and learning. Keep up the great engagement! 😊
GOOD JOB trying to explain yourself! Still not convinced so keep trying. I do like the Montessori style however I love to praise my students and see/feel their reactions.
Hi Josephine... I guess we all have to do what feels more comfortable to us :)
I never saw it like you explain I think it's great idinifately will apply in my classroom
Learnt
Awesome
say my child finally conquered her fear of heights by climbing a feature , i could say YOU DID IT! but can i say it in a way that i am celebrating it with her with my arms pumping in the air and jumping for joy ?
Absolutely! You can celebrate your child's achievement with enthusiasm and joy. Saying "YOU DID IT!" with your arms pumping in the air and jumping for joy is a fantastic way to show your excitement and support for your child's accomplishment. It adds a sense of celebration and encouragement, letting your child know just how proud and thrilled you are about their achievement. Such positive and energetic reinforcement can be very motivating and uplifting for your child.
❤❤
Thank you
I'm only finding this method now while my daughter is 5 years old. Another video mentioned ages 3-6 but are there benefits beyond age 5?
Oh yes... It can benefit at any age :). We have elementary programs too. If you click on the link below someone from our team will be able to assist you and guide you to the right course. Can’t wait to work with you :)
sunshineteacherstraining.id/contact/
Hi, What could be done when the teacher uses good job frequently and we dont use it at home. We tried talking to the teacher they dont seem to get it. My child feels less appreciated or says maam liked it and you did not. What could I tell my LKG kid so she feels reassured that we do recognise her effort. This is a recent development.
Wow... that's challenging. Maybe try explaining your concerns to the principal and your reasons for feeling this way.
@@SunshineTeachersTraining will try. I am actually trying to explain to my child self validation is more satisfying. hope I succeed to sow that seed into this cute Brain.
I know a teacher that says to every child to ring th bell when they mastered one activity. Children who are working at that moment will gather together and give the child applause and the teacher will say 'well done '. The teacher is a Montessori Trained teacher , i can't say anything because I am just assistant in the class:) What is your standing about that situation ?
As far as my experience goes, children do not need the praise. They need to feel self satisfaction
👍
Thank you
I find the term Good Job annoying. Not coming from USA and needing to learn from people from overseas, I don't need to hear good job, when I haven't done a good job and I am having problems. I need solutions to those problems not praise. I need the issues addressed. As an adult with also having significant health issues I am trying to resolve health issues and past problems, being told good job, when I actually need help to prevent injury is upsetting.. I also find it strange that USA people say Good job to children, adults and animals. As an adult I don't want to be treated in the same way as a child or an animal, particularly when I need maturity, understanding and dignity. I also want to finish my learning without the abuse, its not ok, but I am also not giving up, I want to finish my learning before I die. Also where I come from we very rarely praise our children, because we tend to experience when you praise your children too much they get big heads and become vain and abusive, argumentative and won't listen to you, we want our children to be honest, but when they need correction more you can't withhold that from them and give them someting contrary to what they need. They get praised when it is right to do so. Something for you to consider, When encouragement is needed more than praise.
Thanks for watching.
Does this “stop saying good job”apply to the parents too?
Yes it applies to everyone
I don't know why people say this i say what job when someone say it to me
We must all try and refrain :)
How about under 3 years old?
Can we give them “Good job!!” to feel them good??
It is not necessary :)
So basically we should follow what you said in this video, even for younger toddler??
It’s really understandable explanation. Thank you so much. I love your channel:)
Nowaday exists so many constantly "good jobs" such as the Facebook and TH-cam likes so the chuldren are growing therr were the teenagers and adults are constantly giving these bad likes examples.
We must do something and show to our children and even to the young people and adults that those likes are terrible mistakes
That is right :). We can teach by example
Lol, some people agreed with me and some people are too stupid
I guess its a matter of opinion :)
Great
Thanks