i miss eating mcdonalds as a kid and feeling happy after. i miss playing at a playground, having fun without worring how big i was. i miss those times. i feel like im growing up too fast. all i want is to have time, even i little more, to feel like the happy kid i once was all those years ago.
@@urfavoirterose8560 loll, if you mean it cuz of me being tomura then ahhaha, but if you mean in general then i dont understand why that would be weird
I miss wearing whatever I wanted without worrying about people judging me , I miss eating whatever I wanted without constantly wondering how much weight I’m putting on because of eating it , I miss looking in the mirror and thinking I was beautiful I wish I could just be a kid again Times going by to fast
He/She/They means that people think this are the best years of your life because of the secondary school and that you now are a teen but this really are our worst years probably 💔👍🙂
People say that things were better when you were younger but in reality they weren't, you just didn't have time to notice. I never noticed how bad my parents relationship is, or how cruel people are to each other because of their race or religion. Things have always been bad, we just never saw it. And thats the truth.
Honestly thats exactly how it went my childhoid Was bad then it got betzer and then i realized that i was just dreaming and now ....yeah i am feeling bad again
why does listening to music after a mental breakdown so calming? even when im too exhausted to move, eat, go to the bathroom, or drink for hours i still find myself listening to music. its the only peace i have left
This feels like when your about to cry and your chest gets very heavy and that lump builds up in your throat but you can't really cry because the emotions that were once yours are only a faint melody that you slowly forget more and more of each passing day :/
i just wanna feel loved like i did when i was a kid. i wanna feel happy on my birthday instead of just feeling like my life is slipping away thru my fingers. i wanna be hugged by mom like she did when i was little. i don’t wanna be insecure about the way i am. i don’t wanna come home overthinking the entire day and what i said, yelling at myself for what i did or said. i don’t wanna feel like i’m drowning in everything. i don’t wanna be scared to show my stomach because of what i did to it. i wanna be a kid again. i wanna be with my friends again. i wanna be 7 again. i wanna be innocent again. i wanna be a child again. i want my mom to love me again. i don’t wanna be a disappointment anymore.
I’m graduating high school tomorrow. I wasted my teen years. I didn’t go to dances, I didn’t join clubs or sports. I don’t think any of the teachers will remember who I am. I barely hung out with friends. I don’t think that I really even made friends. It sounds bad but everything I do is fake, I feel like I’ve never actually even had a friend because I don’t think I’ve ever taken off my mask. Not for family, not for friends. I just change it. I want to say I regret my high school years but I don’t. And I don’t know why. It seems like I’m moving through life in a haze. High school ment nothing to me. I still have hope though that I’ll be able to find some sort of meaning later in life. There’s always hope life will be better.
I will be graduating in 2 years. Im in 10th going into 11th and so far I wasted every single bit doing nothing. I dont even have any friends. When I went to school I would go a whole day talking to no one. But highschool is just a small part of your life so its what ever I guess. I hope we find something better later on in life my friend.
My experience is somewhat similar. I just started 10th grade with basically no accomplishment or any memories made, been with the same group of classmates for 7 years yet never felt like i belonged with them... I wasn't good at anything be it sports, studies or socializing. Then covid hit midway through 10th and that basically marked the end of my time there because my parents ended up pulling me out after 2 weeks of online classes and now they want me to take igcse exams and hopefully apply for a college.Tbf i always knew that school isnt gonna be memorable but i hoped that atleast i would be able to maybe hangout with my classmates for once or even a simple farewell but that never happened. I've always worried that i wont have any memories to look back at and i told myself that one day I'll pull up enough confidence to take control and make friends and good memories but yeah as u could imagine that day never came. Rn im on my bed and its 12:20am i have no friends, no personality, no confidence, no will to study and i highly doubt i will pass my exams. All i want is to get good grades and find a good college or whatever because i dont want to disappoint my mom anymore :/. Anyways, if u have read this far thank you for taking a bit of ur time to read this cringy paragraph of a guy who failed to live up to his own and everyone else's expectations :D Have a great day!
I'm fifteen... Why do I feel like a totally different person all of the time? I day dream like, every second of the day without realizing and I just don't feel like me anymore, I don't feel right, this isn't where I'm supposed to be.
I felt the exact same way. I've always been really upbeat but also the notorious day dreamer. I used to have hundreds of ideas every second but now I space out with an empty head and I'm scared. Nothing feels real and I can't help but wonder if I'm even real or is this what insanity really is...
im glad i found someone who relates. its terrifying, it makes you angry and you dont feel normal. but if YOU did this to yourself, its probably a result of someone saying stuff to you and you thinking you needed to keep your tears in. dont worry, we're here for you.
Yeah my parents dont argue because they have broken up i have my mum and step dad hes alright just not what i thought he was gonna be and none of my family is happy anymore we never spend time with each other and i feel like its my fault in a way.
It's been some days since i realized that adults tell us to study to get a good job and spend the rest of your days sat on a desk working to "win in life" but what does win in life means if in the end we are getting to the inevitable death? why instead of trying to be happy and enjoy the only life we have we spend all of these years trying to prove a point, trying to prove that we can get good grades and "be someone"? it just feels like i'm wasting my life waiting to someday be seen as a person instead of just a bunch of grades
True that’s what I think sometimes liek when I grow up I don’t wanna imagine myself working all the time like no that won’t make ME happy sometimes I think of myself with a apartment and a cat with mocha in my own house
when i grow up i don't just want to sit in an office and anwser the phone all day i want to go out and live my life. like don't take life to seriously no one makes it out alive in the end.
Yeah, this Is true. Sometimes i just want to run away from it. Be happy, enjoy my life. But i don't have someone i can run with. I just really want to go away from all of this with someone who will understand this
It’s not fair. I wanted more time. I should have had more time. I’m 13 and have seen and been through more than the average adult. Stalkers, sexual/emotional/verbal abuse, neglect. I just wanted to have more time to be a kid, more time to not constantly be pulling down my shirt, flattening out my clothing, worry about how much I eat. I want to be carefree again. I want to have no problems again. I want to just.. Go back.
Damn, I too am 13 and can kinda relate to you, aside from the fact that most of what 'i went through' was brought on by myself. I am completely fucked. I can't change, so eh, fuck it. Everything I did was pointless, but atleast I did it. I don't really want to pry into your life so amma leave this here.
@@itsjustyeee ээй) Любовь это не то, что ты можешь выбрать, это то, что настигнет каждого из нас рано или поздно. Это полезный опыт для дальнейшей жизни. Мне жаль, что вы пришли к такому выводу 🥺
@@takodeyalko4589 i think its because of how people are so much more rude to adults just because theyre more "mature". When i get old, im going to preserve my childish personality. I dont think i will ever mature. Keep pushing, we can make it if we try really really hard.
I miss being a energetic, talkative, extraverted kid that never cared about looks and only looked at personality. I wish i could love my body like i used to, i wish i never realized how cruel this world is and how bad my childhood was
I wish i was kid again. Not knowing how world really is, how traumatizing things can happen. Just enjoying my simple happy life. Playing with other kids, spending all days on fresh air and not caring about anything.
These song gives me memories of being a kid, not having any worries in life and relaxing on the playground with my friends. Now i get the phrase "I don't wanna grow up" and trust me it only gets harder the more you age. You'll gotta worry about bills, food, rent, work, marriage, kids ect but don't worry life goes on, and so do you. Take care and try to become a better version of yourself.
I'm gonna be 16 soon and the past 2 years have been me just staying home doing nothing, only thing that changed is how bad my mental health got. Once I tried opening up to my parents but they said I wasn't the daughter they knew, that I had lost my mind and they were scared of me. Now I just listen to music everytime I get an anxiety attack waiting for it to end because that's literally the only thing I'm able to do. If it wasn't for a friend I would've probably lost all the means to live.
I want you to know I was exactly in the same position as you. Had panic attacks up until I turned 19. I'm soon to turn 20 and trust me I'm still a child, I see all my peers and realise we have no clue what we're doing. There is time to heal. My mental health has made me who I am today. And it will shape you into a beautiful person even if you don't see it.
это очень похоже на меня.. и мне больно осознавать это но я правда надеюсь, что однажды всё изменится, и Вам станет намного лучше, уверен, Вы со всем справитесь🖤
the lines in devil town: 'mom and daddy arent in love. thats fine, ill settle for two birthdays.' hits hard every time and i always find myself remembering the good times i spent with my parents before things got tough. i hope that everyone is doing well and if you have anything troubling you it is always better to talk to someone than to just bottle it up and deal with it yourself. dont hurt yourself trying to deal with things on your own, remember, no matter how stupid it seems, there is always someone in this world who loves you, even if you dont know it yet. keep pushing through and eventually you will break through to the surface. never stop trying, never stop hoping, never stop dreaming and one day, maybe your dreams will come true, always rely on your close friends and family
Time Stamps :) 0:00-3:21 The Beach by The Neighbourhood 3:23-6:34 Freaks by Surf Curse 6:38-11:06 Little Bit by lykke li 11:11-15:44 Fusion by EWIZARD 15:48-21:09 Devil Town by Cavetown sorry if i got any of these song names wrong i had to use shazam for some! ur all loved and i hope ur ok.
i miss not caring what others think, i miss being able to eat, i miss going to be and wanting to wake up the next morning, i miss having a good feeling abt my looks, i miss not having to worry abt my friend's thoughts abt me.
parents say "be successful in life" but what's worth living if instead of trying to be happy and enjoy the one life you have, you spend years trying to meet ppl's expectations and get good grades. what's worth living if you're not going to die happy.
I feel similar, and I look at it like: I have to wait for the happiness, you know? But I kind of am deciding to take matters into my own hands, and do things that make me happy even when people say I should be focusing more on school and stuff. But yeah man, do what makes you happy
I can't even describe the feeling when I was playing with my little siblings on the park and my parents told me to stop because I was too old, I legit watched them play without me and they're only 1 year younger than me
**RANT i rlly just need to get this off my chest** i feel like i do so much, and then when i sit down to take a break, thats all that my mom sees. just this lazy human being that sits around on their phone all day. but i did the dishes, and did the laundry, and mopped the floors, but that doesnt matter. she didnt *see* me do it so it doesnt count. and then she yells (not volume yelling, but ykwim) at me saying how lazy i am, pointing out, “look what time it is, youre still in bed?” “you forgot to do that AGAIN” “wouldnt you be embarrassed if your friend walked in your room right now? look at the state of it” and its too much. there was this time where i was getting in trouble for not being happy and all bubbly 24/7??? like id be sitting there, visibly upset because im tired, or im just sad/angry/frustrated/etc, and i got in trouble for it???? that was super weird and it made me super angry. anyways, i just needed a place to vent, lol sorry you had to read that if ur still here
Ify, I'm 24/7 tired even I'm just chilling in the sofa. They yelled at me always if i didn't passed my activity in time, they always compared me to my other relatives and classmates, and whenever I'm at my phone 24/7 they always think that i'm just playing online games which is not.
U aren't alone. God, I feel bad commenting my problems under ur vent but I can relate a lot. I can do something as simple as shutting the door a bit too fast and get yelled at for it. Tbh if I was a parent I would rather my kid be honest about how they feel, rather than fake it with a happy bubbly one all the time. If you ever need to talk, I'm always available ^^
@@blabla1649 umm, thats a really rude and really invalidating thing to say. pls dont say that to people, it can be really triggering and detrimental to somebody’s well being
I miss just sitting in the back of my parents car driving down a road or highway listening to music blast in the summer and now the funnest times are in our room away from the rest of the world thinking where we went wrong and why our parents' don't like us, Now we are face to face with reality wanting to go back in the past and stay a little kid forever.. I'm fighting the fact that my parents won't accept the fact that I like guys and girl and I don't want to be just their daught I want to be their son too.. Thank you for this playlist!
Its okay to be part of the lgbtq+ community. Your parents just dont understand, itll be okay, I accept you (although I'm a complete stranger) live is love and you can be whatever gender and sexuality, you deserve to be accepted!!!
hey, i know it might be hard for you right now but i just want you to know how loved and valid you are. no matter what happens, just know there are people who care and support you! i may not know who you are personally, but i can tell you're an amazing person. stay strong, you deserve to be understood. much love
i miss being able to scream at the top of my lungs and play with dolls. now im so lifeless that i just wonder where all my energy went. i used to love cameras and being in the spotlight, talking all the time and now i barely ever talk and i dont rly stand out either. i miss being a kid, when i was clueless. now i know all about my family and everyone’s different opinions, i know what my parents think of each other and their families. i wish i didnt know, it makes it all sadder. but the one thing i miss the most was when i was young enough that i wasn’t supposed to fit the beauty standards yet, now its all anyone cares abt and its stupid.
If it makes you feel better, as a guy trust me, I really shouldn’t be telling you, but almost ALL guys will love you for your personal and how you act around them and others, being attractive os just a bonus. I’ve always just wanted someone to cuddle and play legos with if I’m honest, it sounds stupid but it’s true, of course some people are bad, they will always be there, but at some point we have to grow up and keep going. Don’t listen to those beauty standards, they get to me too, seeing all those other guys looking so good and pulling anyone. It hurts to watch, but soon enough they will be the ones begging for success, because they thought looks could carry them through life. The most beautiful people, are the ones who barely talk, that’s what I’ve always thought at least. :)
I didn't realize why I couldnt stay listening to the upbeat playlists. Its because thats not how I feel now. I just needed this, even though its making me sad I need to feel, its better than being numb of all feelings.
I think we all would wish to be a kid back like we all were because we were happy and unbothered but in reality it was always this bad we just didn’t realize it. And stuff didn’t hit us that hard, we were kids and we all know we can’t go back. It will never be the same.
Yeah I feel you with this playlist. Feels like I am growing up so quick... The older I get the more I realise how messed up this world is and that your parents and 'adults' are just like you trying to get by in life. I appreciate this playlist and hope your have a good day :)
I wish i got the chance to actually be a kid for once, everything just hit me all at once that i cant get any rest literally 😩 sleep deprivation is awsome
Why is this the "Best" years of our lives? Can't we just be who we wanna be? Love who we wanna love? Do want we wanna do? Every day there's one thing. One person. That stops us and let's us know, "It's ok to live and cry. Just do it with someone."
i missed the times that weren't toxic like, just chilling outside, hanging out with friends, the times that we interact and talk to people without problems,chilling at home while raining and just watching TV and vibe to some songs.
i miss the times when i was really happy .. i'm tired of everything that's happening to me now .. friendship breakdown .. loneliness .. communication with only two people .. i’m just tired of everything.. i just want to be happy again.
As i grow up, i start to see things from a different angle, i start to overthink, sometimes overthinking too much, sometimes causing stress for myself. i just want to be a kid again, not knowing anything, just trying to grow up.
I miss when i didnt fake a smile, or make subtle hints about my deteriorating mental health. i just want to be ok. i miss not worrying about when i come home, what im going to be yelled at for. i miss not having my parents screw me over. i miss hanging out with my friends without a care in the world. i wish i was ok. i miss not being sad. i miss having my parents comfort me. i miss not having medications tear me down. i miss waking up ready for a new day. i just want to feel alive again.
I feel like I’m spiraling down into nothing. This made me realize I’m not the only one. Ofc I’m not happy that anyone else feels like this, but it just feels too overwhelming to deal with by myself and no one irl gets it. So thanks
I wish I was still a kid, it was so fun when I’d get excited over watching a movie I’ve seen so , so many times. I miss saying bye to my dad every morning. I miss my mum cuddling me tight for hours when I had growing pains as a child. I miss making a den in the forest with my friends. I miss my friend waiting for her work to get checked and she’d lean over and tell me if mines is correct. I miss the times id get excited over getting McDonald’s. I miss playing on my rocking horse as if I was riding into battle on my horse. I miss being so happy when my papa would pick me up from nursery. I miss thinking I was cool because I had fizzy juice and stayed up last bed time. I miss when we got our first dog Alfie and I was his favourite. I miss my old Marie toy. I miss my older sister always teasing me and saying “Mias on a Maddie”. I miss my sisters friends coming over and playing with me. I miss making minecraft worlds with my sister, I miss old me. I miss my first day of school. I miss my friend 🕊. I miss laughing in assembly and being held back and still laughing my head off. I miss watching my phone on the school bus making jokes with my friend. I miss my p1 teacher . I miss my p4 teacher, who would listen to me hours on end. I miss staying after class to held my friends . I miss being a kid
people tell me "these are the best years of ur life" or "you only live once" yea these are the worst years of my life right now. people try to tell me it's not that bad when they don't even know what i've gone threw or been threw. this is the playlist that i've needed.
I can't even cry anymore, I'm so close to doing it, so close to ending everything regardless of how much they would miss me, yes it's selfish but hey what can I say other than I tried. Edit: I'm okay. I'm living my life pretty much as it is when I typed this. I'll be fine though... Thanks for your concern. I appreciate it :). ☺︎︎
hey i understand how you feel, im so sick and tired of everything and i just want to end it all but i guess i still have hope for the future what i might be able to do once i am able to support myself, try and set goals for your future and give yourself hope because you matter. This probably didnt help at all but i just wanted to say something just in case i was able to tweak your mindset even the tiniest bit
And then your neighbors are sitting by the window crying to the same music as you are. Because I definitely didn't used to sneak out and listen to these kinds of playlists with my best friend
Does anyone get hurt when your parents or any family member reminds you that you’re getting older. For example, once I told my sister that she was old enough to make her own egg(she’s 15 turning 16). She didn’t really like that for some reason so she told me: “ You’re old enough to buy a house and live on your own.” (I’m 17 btw) Another example is about chores in the house. She basically just washes the dishes while I vacuum, take the dog out, make breakfast for the both of us and sometimes I might even dust off furniture. I ask my mom if she can make her do more because it’s just not fair that she gets to do whatever she wants while I either have to help my mom or else she’ll be mad. She responds with” you know her, she’s lazy. Just let her be”. I’m honestly hate being the oldest sibling. I hate being reminded that I’m the oldest. It makes even worse when I’m a year older than most of my classmates. The worst thing of all is that I can’t change it. No matter how hard I wish for it to change I can’t. I hate that I’m being held to high expectations. I hate doing things first. I hate that if I make any mistakes, everything goes down hill. If my sister is better at a subject than I am, it apparently means that I wasn’t trying in that class which is why I got so many “bad” grades. I honestly feel like an outcast always. I feel as if I don’t belong here and that life would be much better without me. But, the thing is, I don’t want to d1e. I just want to restart life, be given a second chance. I don’t know where I’m going with this but I’m so sorry if you read this or relate to any of this. I know it may not seem bad but this is just the way I feel. Eventually, I think I’ll get over all of this. I kind of doubt it since this started when I was 8 years old but who knows, life has many surprises. Anyways…have a blessful day! 💖
Heh If my friends knew what I am thinking theyd just hate me Like everyone else I guess I just wonder why I don’t just tell them so I can be alone, not getting hurt and not hurting them
@@coffeejelly1839 oh, alright alright, thank you for tryin, im proud of u for it, u doin such a great job! :] keep goin ~ but still, im here if somethin, have a nice day
I still remember playing outside, running, laughing, playful pushing, made up games, holding my moms hand as we walk home from school and I was for some reason happy to get homework, it was easy, it didn't take that much time to do and I was excited for the move, I wanted to see the world. Now, I just want to sleep forever and stay in my imagination.
...today is my 14th birthday party..I've been sad the whole time because I don't wanna grow up... I keep telling myself I'm literally going to be driving next year...I'm scared tbh..and my teenage years are being spent on lockdown and not with friends.. :c
Happy super late birthday! Don't be scared be brave. Even tho growing up might suck, it's a gift to live longer so you have an opportunity to live your dream. Ily
@@samanthasweet3497 that was really powerful wow...thank you like a lot it means a lot to know I'm not the only one :) if you ever need anyone to talk to just add me on insta cayden.e.dover...sending you all the hugs
This is a vent feel free to read. My best friend lives 8 hours away and I'm going to visit her for a month on Friday. My parents said if my room wasn't clean they won't take me they always get mad if it's not clean. I have been trying so hard My whole life to make them happy I've done so many things but they only notice the things I mess up on. They were never there for me nobody was, from pre k- 3rd grade I had no friends I was alone in my private school I was getting told I was going to hell for wearing the boys clothes and that I was gonna be gay I didn't know what that ment I alway assumed gay was bad and I didn't feel safe. My dad would always be working and I sometimes wouldn't see him for over 24-48 hours I was 4 I needed him. From 4-5 grade I found friends but little did ik they treated me so badly. 6th grade my best friend was with me. From ages 6-12 my parents worked on a farm and they were physically there it didn't feel like it they were always working they wouldn't make time for me. They would work all day and ignore me when they were done. I talked to my best friends parents more then my own they were always there. This year (8th grade) I finally found good people but it was still so hard I was going through such a depressive episode. I was trying so hard and when I came home my parents would call me lazy. They were yelling at me because of dirty dishes while I was suicidal. But I still can't get over the fact that they were never fucking there for me.
I am sorry that u have to go through all that, I know things are hard at this moment I understand what ur going through I promise things will get better theres good coming ur way just be patient I know you were patient before but some day ur gonna have the best of happiness I really wish I could hug you rn but I cant so am hugging you online * hugs * stay safe!
@@milimeter3529 When they say you're lazy but really you just don't have motivation, then they act as if they weren't aware of that. And how they wont get you checked up cause you're still young and then you'll get a record and their reputation will get ruined.
Parents wonder why bullying is still happening, but in reality it’s there faults. They say, “I met them and they were nice” and “I am friends with their Mom and they are really nice.” It’s like they forget lying exists until we “lie”
I see myself as a person who’s been through a lot which made me become more wiser than some people that I’m starting to become more harsher to myself. That sounds narcissistic in a way but im not and look, im correcting myself again. I became more of a perfectionist. My plans are all set but when it goes down hill I tend to force myself to overwork my way to achieving what i want. Every single time I mess up I’d redo it all over again just to get that one particular thing I want it to go. My deeper self thinks lowly if I mess up but i cover it up with words of encouragement for myself. I usually give advices to people so if you’re on the same situation as me, remember that you’ve made decisions at the past that made you stronger and even if some of the people hasn’t noticed that yet, the important thing here is that you’ve move forward. Pride isn’t the way to go bestie, let yourself in the true emotions you’ve been holding and let it all out. It’d be over soon and you’d realize that it’s not all that bad. It’s a great coping mechanism.
HEY,HEY I AM TALKING TO YOU OKAY PLS LISTEN TO ME YOU ARE WORTH IT. IF SOMEONE DOES NOT SEE THAT ITS THEIR FKING PROBLEM NOT YOURS. I WANNA TELL YOU THAT I AM PROUD OF YOU FOR STILL EXISTING AND I HOPE YOU NEVER ERASE YOUR PLACE IN HERE. YOU MIGHT THINK SOMETIMES YOUR WORTHLESS BUT YOUR NOT WORTHLESS EVERYBODY FEELS LIKE THAT IN SOME POINT. BUT ITS OK IM HERE ITS SAFE HERE YOU DONT NEED TO BE ANYBODY JUST BE YOURSELF I LOVE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE AND NOTHING IS GONNA CHANGE THAT ITS OK IF YOU WANT SOMEONE TO TALK TO I AM HERE I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE YOU DONT NEED TO BE WITH ANYONE TO BE HAPPY. PLS REMEMBER THAT. PLS REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT ALONE. MANY OF US HAVE BEEN THERE I PROMISE ITS GONNA BE OKAY DONT TRY TO CHANGE YOURSELF JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE SAID SO IF YOUR HAPPY THEN THATS WHAT MATTERS. IVE BEEN THERE.I KNOW ITS HARD BUT PLS JUST HOLD ON I PROMISE IT WILL BE BETTER SOON. IF YOUR FEELING SAD CRY LET IT ALL OUT ITS OKAY YOUR SAFE HERE. I LOVE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE. -stranger
If these are the times we'll look back on as "The good ole days" then why go on. Everythings dull these days, i feel like a vinyl record just spinning around the emotional cycles. Man why are things the way they are?
I wish these years could be the best as everyone are telling me .. I hate when my parents are telling me that I should go to parties with my friends or without, so I could make some new friends. They're telling me that if I don't want to do it now I'll DEFINITELY start to be all "funny and outgoing" when I'll turn 16 this year, since there starts "a teenage life". The problem is that I don't think I'll ever be like that.. now everything I do is just sitting in my home, all alone and playing games or drawing. I don't want to meet with my friends (well I have only 2), because I just don't have the strenght to do it... Tbh I haven't really felt like myself for about a 3 years now. I don't know what happened to me, but I "see" everything in black colors and if I'm being honest, I'm thinking about commiting suicide, everyday. Maybe it's not that I want to die, I don't know.. I just want to be happy again and I want to find a peacefull place, where I could finally be fully relaxed and happy. And even as if I were in the most beautiful place in the world, I still wouldn't be able to enjoy being here, you know what I mean? Just nothing material can't really heal my head, and I know it very well, but still, I'm trying to find any way to be myself again. Also why I can't have a copy of me who would live my life, while I'll just lay in my bed and wait for death? Sometimes I really wish that I could just lay in my bed all days and do nothing. I really need a professional help, but I'm too scared to go to psychologist, but If I won't do it, I'll do something stupid to myself, because I'm really close to ending this all (also I was crying as I wrote that so sorry for all mistakes). That'll be all.. thank you very much stranger, if you read this .. It means a lot to me
Hey Stranger, I admire the courage you have to share this with everyone here. I may not know you but I think you need to hear me tell you that I am proud of you! I am so proud of you. Firstly you admitted that you're scared and that's okay. Second you found and listed all the things that scare you or are stressing you at the moment. I hope eveything gets better for you and if it has yet it will. At least that's what everyone keeps telling me. I send all the love I have in this shattered heart of mine, along with a long distance hug!♥︎
Remember when we were kids? We had fun almost everyday without worrying about anything, and do u remember the words "I can't wait to grow up" or "I want to be an adult" and yours parents always told u that life is better as a kid and they would give anything just to be kids again. Do u remember this days? And now we can't wait to our last day...
I wished I never grew up. I was so excited when I was a child probably cus I was naive and didn't saw how the real world works and wished I get to do they're 'fun' jobs. I didn't really notice the hole sipping all my time while I was looking at everyone around me wishing I was them, and I wasted all my time. the time that I was supposed to enjoy on what I have while I was a child. I didn't really saw the manipulation and stressful thing that was happening behind the scenes . lol wha-
I'm turning 18 in 6 months and I feel like I missed too many things in my teenage years. I always loved going outside to play with friends when I was little but now, very often, I prefer being alone and doing nothing. Moments like this make me think that I'm the only one restraining me from having my best moments.
yesterday I found this playlist, I was very happy. i laughed and smiled. Yesterday evening I listened, but without smiles. I am insanely glad to the author, thank you very much.
Nobody’s just happy so find something that makes you happy or something to look forward to mines when the moon is full and I like gazing at its brightness :)
should i laugh cry or just be the "strongest" girl and my parents disappointment. Prend everything is fine. Put up a bad ass mask. "Well I'm a good child. I mean-" that's what I always hear. Well I'm trying. I really am.
I can relate to this. Everyone expects me to be happy because I promised I would. I honestly don’t know when my mental health deteriorated. I just gave up and now everyone thinks I’m just rude and lazy. I can’t even tell anyone. They would probably just tell me to shut up and that I’m too young to be feeling like this.
you know what i miss? i miss the times where i had true happiness.... i couldnt wait to grow up but now after experiencing the life of one whos grown up i really just want to relive and be the kid i used to be....i miss the times where there was no pressure no bullying ... i was actually truely free and happy...right now ive hit rock bottom. im keeping so many things to myself which i cant talk to anyone about i dont know who i can trust. i just want to release everything but the fear of getting judged or misunderstandings happening stops me.
i haven’t achieved anything, i have lost so many things these last years, my anxiety is killing me every single day. Nothing brings me joy anymore, i have no friends here, i have nothing. I’m gonna be an adult soon and i am not looking forward to it.
You know it's crazy that when I was younger I didn't even realize I was hiding my anger and sadness... At the age of 4, I moved schools and home...soon everything became a fight... At the age of 5, my mother became a single parent, and we were living in a small van. Somehow I would go to school every day at that age and smile knowing my mom could barely afford anything for us. I remember wanting to join the dance team and my mom told me that she was so sorry and I couldn't join... I remember kids talking about their parents and realized that I didn't have a lot of the things they had, but still, my mom made me so happy and tried getting me everything I wanted. At the age of 6, my mom went back with my father of course at the start everything was pretty good but then they started fighting again... and my father wanted to kick my brother out and he would yell at my sister...and me? I always tried getting in between the fight to stop it but he always yells at me to get into a room, I was too young to fight...I was scared... At the age of 7, we left again, we moved in with my uncle... let me tell you my uncle is a bit crazy lol but that was the most fun I've had in years he's pretty cool. ... throughout all these years I've learned to fight yes, I may be an all A student and do nothing bad but that's cause I choose to go down a good path, still don't get on my bad side : ) And as I've gotten older the same things kept happening we go back, yelling, we leave on and on and on. So yeah I'm 13 years old now, we are here with my dad... they sometimes fight it's a bit toxic tbh but I have a home and food and amazing friends. I'm so grateful for everything I have because I've been through shit and I've wanted to give up so many times but I do feel safe now...Of course, I still have my battles to fight but at least some scars are healing
sometimes i’m scared that i made it up. and when i think that i made it up i just try to prove myself that it cannot be not true. and i think i will keep doing this till it happens. dreaming is also good it just matters that we both r happy… perfect.
i used to think that i was ready for the day that i have to grow up and get out there but now when i think about it, its so scary. ive come to realize how much i like not being able to worry about everything. just staying at home and playing video games all day. but i also realize that the day will eventually arrive right at my doorstep so i feel motivated to get out there and just overcome any insecurity or problem thats in my way because i wanna have memorable years not just online but irl too.
i miss traveling with my class and sneaking into the boys room past bed time then eating snacks with them and playing tod, i miss not knowing how awful this world is , i miss how i wasn’t sexualized, i miss when i couldn’t disappoint anyone , i miss jamming to radio hits in the car with my mom, i miss being able to play tag and eating apple slices after and so much morw
my eighteenth birthday is nearing... and i can't help but think it's an end of an era. college is filling my life, responsibilities of getting a job and doing well are constantly being thrown at me and it saddens me. when did life get so complicated? when did i suddenly enter what i used to look forward to? adulthood? it's not what i thought it would be. i just want to be a kid again. carefree, with no worries. free. i miss my childhood.
I miss the times when I was happy with her messages. when every compliment from her filled my soul and body with warmth. I really want to go back there. to understand that I am loved and important. now I feel nothing, just trying to be my old version. I really get tired. Thank you, for this playlist. please take care of yourself.
Im so glad i found this video. Its not only the music that is grate... Readed much of comments there, i hope you guys will find your happiness! I also missing my old times when i was younger and tryed not to understand those fear and dark that is in reality. I miss my childhood friends and my friends too.... In this year i lost 3 friends, they just left me... all.... Without telling me anything. First one just lef tme and blocked everywhere without any reason. We was childhood friends and was like brothers and everything for us but... he just left me and now he is with his girl. Last both just stopped talk with me with cuz of stupidity and misunderstanding. When i talk to them they said "nothing to say" and that was all... I was right about everything and gave them much of facts that they are close to me but... They just said " fuck you " and left me.
when i was 4 i started collecting every mc donald happy meal box they gave me, last night i found them downstairs when i was looking for a CD. i stopped doing this around 9 or 10 years old. i i held some of them and began to cry. i am now 14 and remembering my childhood makes me so happy! i've looked at old drawings, old collections and old CD's of me when i was younger, i cried watching them. remember when summer camp was fun? now teen camps are just shitty. i want to go back.
My best years were 2015-2017 when I was 10-12 I have moved four times in my life and I don’t want to, it’s messed up my friendships I lived with my two twin cousins and that’s when I hade my best 3 years of my life, I miss those times waking up happy to go to school and coming back to play outside with them or play bo1 or bo2 with them, it was so fun now I’m here with no friends and no social life and it’s mainly bc of COVID and online school but still, I really do miss my past. I hope next year going into 10th grade in person I’ll find friends and have fun like I used to.
TW/ venting people wonder why i say "idk" all the time but its really just because its been so long since I've been genuinely happy (8 years of my life just gone) and I've become so used to it its hard to tell if I'm happy or faking it, if I need to grow up or "stop trying to grow up so fast and enjoy life" if i should just stop or keep trying. also i listened to this playlist at arournd 3 after i had been crying for an hour so that was nice.
i miss not having to put up a mask, i can’t even figure out if the mask is real or fake. i’m always questioning if this is how i really am or did i just become so good at fake-smiling it came so natural.
I wish we stopped growing,I don’t even enjoy ballet anymore since I get called a slut when my foot taps on that horrible wooden floor.I can’t even enjoy simple hobbies I had like painting,skating,building,and cleaning.I’ve been so drained recently and I can’t ever seek for help due to my mom saying it’s a “unspeakable experience that can only happen to the adults” ifs never been able to express or communicate with actual people due to this.I dropped out of school and I’m only a senior
tbh I just miss being myself around people without feeling judge and annoying. I miss being able to make friends easily, I miss not having trust issues, I miss being happy when it’s my birthday, I miss when everything on the internet wasn’t toxic, I miss being loved, I miss having someone there for me, I miss telling everyone how I feel without worrying if I’m annoying them, I miss playing in the playground with my friends, I miss not being fear to cry in front of someone, I miss not fighting with my parents and sister, I miss feeling cool on everything I wear, I miss feeling safe everywhere, i miss not being stressed about everything, I miss when I didn’t $3lf-h@rm myself .. I miss it all 🙁 I wish I could at least have a break from everything for a while even a tiny bit.
I feel like a lot of us grew up too fast. I'm almost considered an adult and yet I feel like I should still be outside playing tag and having fun with friends. It's scary but it has to happen. I'm not ready but I am. Not knowing what has to come is the most terrifying part, I don't know who I am or what I want to be. I just miss not worrting about anything. I want to just be a kid again. I'm scared
im almost 17 and I felt like so much better things could have happen. So far I spent all my highschool years alone and they have been nothing but trash. I feel like I missed out on so much when people said it was the best time of there life's.
i miss eating mcdonalds as a kid and feeling happy after. i miss playing at a playground, having fun without worring how big i was. i miss those times. i feel like im growing up too fast. all i want is to have time, even i little more, to feel like the happy kid i once was all those years ago.
i get this on another level im so sorry im here if u wanna talk.
same :/
I don't even eat McDonald's anymore... I would just end up with two fingers down my throat after
@@whitebunny5334 are u okay? I’m here if you wanna talk :/
People don't see you cry.
People don't see how hurt you are.
People only see your mistakes!
though mistakes are what makes you, you. one could argue seeing someone's mistakes are good :)
Ah yes my mum
All My Friends and family :)
@@thatotaku5100 shigaraki that's a bit weird hearing you say that
@@urfavoirterose8560 loll, if you mean it cuz of me being tomura then ahhaha, but if you mean in general then i dont understand why that would be weird
With the amount of depressed people why cant we ever talk to each other and just cry.
facts
feels weird talking about my emotions :/ or just anything that I find interesting
FR
If anyone wanna talk I'll be here, I'm lonely asf
@@masoodswati6810 same
I miss wearing whatever I wanted without worrying about people judging me , I miss eating whatever I wanted without constantly wondering how much weight I’m putting on because of eating it , I miss looking in the mirror and thinking I was beautiful
I wish I could just be a kid again
Times going by to fast
Same.
The one dislike is the person who was crying so much that they didn’t even realize that, that was the dislike button
fr
Why dose this hit a different type of way though :/
Yep UnU
@@julierivera3136 35 D::
@@zurysshdez7325 37 :d
If these are the best years of my life...
I cannot possibly imagine how the worst years of my life will be.
Me too...
Sim.
same
damn. never give up though!! it will get better in the future!! you just gotta keep going!! we love you
He/She/They means that people think this are the best years of your life because of the secondary school and that you now are a teen but this really are our worst years probably 💔👍🙂
People say that things were better when you were younger but in reality they weren't, you just didn't have time to notice. I never noticed how bad my parents relationship is, or how cruel people are to each other because of their race or religion. Things have always been bad, we just never saw it. And thats the truth.
its true, but all I want is that obliviousness back. even if I don't understand that things were always horrible.
I miss being oblivious then
Honestly thats exactly how it went my childhoid Was bad then it got betzer and then i realized that i was just dreaming and now ....yeah i am feeling bad again
@@cndy_gr_ i want to be oblivious again so bad
Finally, someone said it
why does listening to music after a mental breakdown so calming? even when im too exhausted to move, eat, go to the bathroom, or drink for hours i still find myself listening to music. its the only peace i have left
This feels like when your about to cry and your chest gets very heavy and that lump builds up in your throat but you can't really cry because the emotions that were once yours are only a faint melody that you slowly forget more and more of each passing day :/
me:
That’s me when I talk to my mom about anything-
kinda true
when a random person on he internet steals the words from your brain
thats me
i just wanna feel loved like i did when i was a kid.
i wanna feel happy on my birthday instead of just feeling like my life is slipping away thru my fingers.
i wanna be hugged by mom like she did when i was little.
i don’t wanna be insecure about the way i am.
i don’t wanna come home overthinking the entire day and what i said, yelling at myself for what i did or said.
i don’t wanna feel like i’m drowning in everything.
i don’t wanna be scared to show my stomach because of what i did to it.
i wanna be a kid again.
i wanna be with my friends again.
i wanna be 7 again.
i wanna be innocent again.
i wanna be a child again.
i want my mom to love me again.
i don’t wanna be a disappointment anymore.
I’m graduating high school tomorrow. I wasted my teen years. I didn’t go to dances, I didn’t join clubs or sports. I don’t think any of the teachers will remember who I am. I barely hung out with friends. I don’t think that I really even made friends. It sounds bad but everything I do is fake, I feel like I’ve never actually even had a friend because I don’t think I’ve ever taken off my mask. Not for family, not for friends. I just change it. I want to say I regret my high school years but I don’t. And I don’t know why.
It seems like I’m moving through life in a haze. High school ment nothing to me.
I still have hope though that I’ll be able to find some sort of meaning later in life. There’s always hope life will be better.
I will be graduating in 2 years. Im in 10th going into 11th and so far I wasted every single bit doing nothing. I dont even have any friends. When I went to school I would go a whole day talking to no one. But highschool is just a small part of your life so its what ever I guess. I hope we find something better later on in life my friend.
My experience is somewhat similar. I just started 10th grade with basically no accomplishment or any memories made, been with the same group of classmates for 7 years yet never felt like i belonged with them... I wasn't good at anything be it sports, studies or socializing. Then covid hit midway through 10th and that basically marked the end of my time there because my parents ended up pulling me out after 2 weeks of online classes and now they want me to take igcse exams and hopefully apply for a college.Tbf i always knew that school isnt gonna be memorable but i hoped that atleast i would be able to maybe hangout with my classmates for once or even a simple farewell but that never happened. I've always worried that i wont have any memories to look back at and i told myself that one day I'll pull up enough confidence to take control and make friends and good memories but yeah as u could imagine that day never came. Rn im on my bed and its 12:20am i have no friends, no personality, no confidence, no will to study and i highly doubt i will pass my exams. All i want is to get good grades and find a good college or whatever because i dont want to disappoint my mom anymore :/.
Anyways, if u have read this far thank you for taking a bit of ur time to read this cringy paragraph of a guy who failed to live up to his own and everyone else's expectations :D Have a great day!
When u said "i dont think i made real friends bcs i never put my mask off" i felt that
yeah life gets better i mean soon you'll get married ain't that exciting?!
Thx for the reply’s everyone, it’s nice to know that other people can relate at least. I hope everyone who’s struggling can pull through
It's amazing how one single playlist can reunite people..
I'm fifteen... Why do I feel like a totally different person all of the time?
I day dream like, every second of the day without realizing and I just don't feel like me anymore, I don't feel right, this isn't where I'm supposed to be.
Same...😟
That is derealization my friend
I felt the exact same way. I've always been really upbeat but also the notorious day dreamer. I used to have hundreds of ideas every second but now I space out with an empty head and I'm scared. Nothing feels real and I can't help but wonder if I'm even real or is this what insanity really is...
@@makayla9067
Oh I have that haha
And depersonalization but I'm ok and frogs are still a thing
It's okay at least you were 10
WHY I CANT CRY? I’m tired I just want to cry..
same
i straight up can’t anymore :(
Man dont cry because there weak, Man cry because there where to long strong,
im glad i found someone who relates.
its terrifying, it makes you angry and you dont feel normal.
but if YOU did this to yourself, its probably a result of someone saying stuff to you and you thinking you needed to keep your tears in.
dont worry, we're here for you.
This is to relatable
i miss being a kid when my family was all okay not always arguing, when we were all happy i would give anything for that again :/
I would do the same honestly.
Yeah my parents dont argue because they have broken up i have my mum and step dad hes alright just not what i thought he was gonna be and none of my family is happy anymore we never spend time with each other and i feel like its my fault in a way.
i wish i was still a little kid and didn’t realize what all trauma my father has given me
don't kill me just help me run away from everyone, i need a place to stay.
Where I can cover up my face. Dont cry. I am just a freak
im just a freak
It's been some days since i realized that adults tell us to study to get a good job and spend the rest of your days sat on a desk working to "win in life" but what does win in life means if in the end we are getting to the inevitable death? why instead of trying to be happy and enjoy the only life we have we spend all of these years trying to prove a point, trying to prove that we can get good grades and "be someone"? it just feels like i'm wasting my life waiting to someday be seen as a person instead of just a bunch of grades
True that’s what I think sometimes liek when I grow up I don’t wanna imagine myself working all the time like no that won’t make ME happy sometimes I think of myself with a apartment and a cat with mocha in my own house
when i grow up i don't just want to sit in an office and anwser the phone all day i want to go out and live my life. like don't take life to seriously no one makes it out alive in the end.
exactly
Yeah, this Is true. Sometimes i just want to run away from it. Be happy, enjoy my life. But i don't have someone i can run with. I just really want to go away from all of this with someone who will understand this
if I want to survive I have to work, if I want a better job I have to go to school, it sucks
It’s not fair. I wanted more time. I should have had more time. I’m 13 and have seen and been through more than the average adult. Stalkers, sexual/emotional/verbal abuse, neglect. I just wanted to have more time to be a kid, more time to not constantly be pulling down my shirt, flattening out my clothing, worry about how much I eat. I want to be carefree again. I want to have no problems again. I want to just..
Go back.
Damn, I too am 13 and can kinda relate to you, aside from the fact that most of what 'i went through' was brought on by myself.
I am completely fucked.
I can't change, so eh, fuck it.
Everything I did was pointless, but atleast I did it.
I don't really want to pry into your life so amma leave this here.
I relate to you and I'm 11
I had like 9 years to live as a child and a carefree kid
"One day you're gonna grow up, and see how things really are."
"I hope I never grow up at all."
:> those lines make sense now at age 12.
man all i can tell you as a17y dont ever fall in love
@@itsjustyeee ээй) Любовь это не то, что ты можешь выбрать, это то, что настигнет каждого из нас рано или поздно. Это полезный опыт для дальнейшей жизни. Мне жаль, что вы пришли к такому выводу 🥺
Tommorow is my 12th birthday, and it's just not clicking that im growing up.
@@asmushroom The sad truth is, I am 18 and it still hasn't clicked
@@takodeyalko4589 i think its because of how people are so much more rude to adults just because theyre more "mature". When i get old, im going to preserve my childish personality. I dont think i will ever mature. Keep pushing, we can make it if we try really really hard.
i miss the 8 years old me. Always curious what adventure awaits tomorrow. But now, I'm always curious what this cruel world offers me tomorrow.
I know same
I miss being a energetic, talkative, extraverted kid that never cared about looks and only looked at personality. I wish i could love my body like i used to, i wish i never realized how cruel this world is and how bad my childhood was
there is an undergound russian band called неботошнит (nebotoshnit) and i'm sure you'll like it
Я просто искала хорошую музыку, а нашла золото.
Это прекрасно, спасибо за рекомендацию!
Ok ik this has nothing to do with ur comment but I love ur name
Thank you so much!
Actually i never was into russian music (ironic, because im russian).
Im listening to their music like 24/7
Thanks :)
Do you have any other recomendations?
@@うちはいたち-v1u molchat doma
"one day youll grow up and see how things rlly are" "i hope i never grow up at all.." i felt that deep in my bones..
I wish i was kid again. Not knowing how world really is, how traumatizing things can happen. Just enjoying my simple happy life. Playing with other kids, spending all days on fresh air and not caring about anything.
I miss it too (╥﹏╥)
Same but I can’t go back,and I don’t want my kids live the same life I lived (I dont have kids this is just for the future)
Bruh all the comments make me wanna cry bcz I never had this childhood
@@mayss1159 im sorry i hope you're doing okay now
@@mayss1159 same
These song gives me memories of being a kid, not having any worries in life and relaxing on the playground with my friends. Now i get the phrase "I don't wanna grow up" and trust me it only gets harder the more you age. You'll gotta worry about bills, food, rent, work, marriage, kids ect but don't worry life goes on, and so do you. Take care and try to become a better version of yourself.
I'm gonna be 16 soon and the past 2 years have been me just staying home doing nothing, only thing that changed is how bad my mental health got. Once I tried opening up to my parents but they said I wasn't the daughter they knew, that I had lost my mind and they were scared of me. Now I just listen to music everytime I get an anxiety attack waiting for it to end because that's literally the only thing I'm able to do. If it wasn't for a friend I would've probably lost all the means to live.
I'm so sorry bud :( I hope u get better 💖
Happy late or early birthday
I want you to know I was exactly in the same position as you. Had panic attacks up until I turned 19. I'm soon to turn 20 and trust me I'm still a child, I see all my peers and realise we have no clue what we're doing. There is time to heal. My mental health has made me who I am today. And it will shape you into a beautiful person even if you don't see it.
@@alannahaldridge7737 Thank you so much for your words, I hope the best for both of us
это очень похоже на меня.. и мне больно осознавать это
но я правда надеюсь, что однажды всё изменится, и Вам станет намного лучше, уверен, Вы со всем справитесь🖤
the lines in devil town: 'mom and daddy arent in love. thats fine, ill settle for two birthdays.' hits hard every time and i always find myself remembering the good times i spent with my parents before things got tough. i hope that everyone is doing well and if you have anything troubling you it is always better to talk to someone than to just bottle it up and deal with it yourself. dont hurt yourself trying to deal with things on your own, remember, no matter how stupid it seems, there is always someone in this world who loves you, even if you dont know it yet. keep pushing through and eventually you will break through to the surface. never stop trying, never stop hoping, never stop dreaming and one day, maybe your dreams will come true, always rely on your close friends and family
Time Stamps :)
0:00-3:21 The Beach by The Neighbourhood
3:23-6:34 Freaks by Surf Curse
6:38-11:06 Little Bit by lykke li
11:11-15:44 Fusion by EWIZARD
15:48-21:09 Devil Town by Cavetown
sorry if i got any of these song names wrong i had to use shazam for some! ur all loved and i hope ur ok.
i love you
THANK YOU SO MUCH
@@sobsuncontrollably719 WELCOMEEE :)
THANK YOUUUUU
little bit remix by who?
oh god when was the last time i smiled like a real smile
POV: your whole like centers around what your parents want.
I'm in the picture and I don't like it 🙂
Yep.
Felt this
@@Bauernade pretty much :/
Now I have a hard time making decisions by myself
i miss not caring what others think, i miss being able to eat, i miss going to be and wanting to wake up the next morning, i miss having a good feeling abt my looks, i miss not having to worry abt my friend's thoughts abt me.
parents say "be successful in life" but what's worth living if instead of trying to be happy and enjoy the one life you have, you spend years trying to meet ppl's expectations and get good grades. what's worth living if you're not going to die happy.
I feel similar, and I look at it like: I have to wait for the happiness, you know? But I kind of am deciding to take matters into my own hands, and do things that make me happy even when people say I should be focusing more on school and stuff. But yeah man, do what makes you happy
@@icebaguette5618 i try looking at it like that, thanks :)
been askin myself that ma whole life mate still got no answer heh..
I can't even describe the feeling when I was playing with my little siblings on the park and my parents told me to stop because I was too old, I legit watched them play without me and they're only 1 year younger than me
**RANT i rlly just need to get this off my chest**
i feel like i do so much, and then when i sit down to take a break, thats all that my mom sees. just this lazy human being that sits around on their phone all day. but i did the dishes, and did the laundry, and mopped the floors, but that doesnt matter. she didnt *see* me do it so it doesnt count. and then she yells (not volume yelling, but ykwim) at me saying how lazy i am, pointing out, “look what time it is, youre still in bed?” “you forgot to do that AGAIN” “wouldnt you be embarrassed if your friend walked in your room right now? look at the state of it” and its too much. there was this time where i was getting in trouble for not being happy and all bubbly 24/7??? like id be sitting there, visibly upset because im tired, or im just sad/angry/frustrated/etc, and i got in trouble for it???? that was super weird and it made me super angry. anyways, i just needed a place to vent, lol sorry you had to read that if ur still here
its ok. if you wanna talk or mabye be friends im here
Ify, I'm 24/7 tired even I'm just chilling in the sofa. They yelled at me always if i didn't passed my activity in time, they always compared me to my other relatives and classmates, and whenever I'm at my phone 24/7 they always think that i'm just playing online games which is not.
U aren't alone. God, I feel bad commenting my problems under ur vent but I can relate a lot. I can do something as simple as shutting the door a bit too fast and get yelled at for it. Tbh if I was a parent I would rather my kid be honest about how they feel, rather than fake it with a happy bubbly one all the time. If you ever need to talk, I'm always available ^^
i really want your "problems" ._.
@@blabla1649 umm, thats a really rude and really invalidating thing to say. pls dont say that to people, it can be really triggering and detrimental to somebody’s well being
I really wanna cry when I remember those time where I didn’t knew what an insecurity was. Especially not on myself.
I miss just sitting in the back of my parents car driving down a road or highway listening to music blast in the summer and now the funnest times are in our room away from the rest of the world thinking where we went wrong and why our parents' don't like us, Now we are face to face with reality wanting to go back in the past and stay a little kid forever..
I'm fighting the fact that my parents won't accept the fact that I like guys and girl and I don't want to be just their daught I want to be their son too.. Thank you for this playlist!
Its okay to be part of the lgbtq+ community. Your parents just dont understand, itll be okay, I accept you (although I'm a complete stranger) live is love and you can be whatever gender and sexuality, you deserve to be accepted!!!
just want to let you know you are cared about and that if your parents don't accept you, I do, and so do many others.
hey, i know it might be hard for you right now but i just want you to know how loved and valid you are. no matter what happens, just know there are people who care and support you! i may not know who you are personally, but i can tell you're an amazing person. stay strong, you deserve to be understood. much love
I sadly found out on pride month my parents are homophobic and I’m trans and bi secretly so I don’t k ow what to do with life anymore
i miss being able to scream at the top of my lungs and play with dolls. now im so lifeless that i just wonder where all my energy went. i used to love cameras and being in the spotlight, talking all the time and now i barely ever talk and i dont rly stand out either. i miss being a kid, when i was clueless. now i know all about my family and everyone’s different opinions, i know what my parents think of each other and their families. i wish i didnt know, it makes it all sadder. but the one thing i miss the most was when i was young enough that i wasn’t supposed to fit the beauty standards yet, now its all anyone cares abt and its stupid.
If it makes you feel better, as a guy trust me, I really shouldn’t be telling you, but almost ALL guys will love you for your personal and how you act around them and others, being attractive os just a bonus. I’ve always just wanted someone to cuddle and play legos with if I’m honest, it sounds stupid but it’s true, of course some people are bad, they will always be there, but at some point we have to grow up and keep going. Don’t listen to those beauty standards, they get to me too, seeing all those other guys looking so good and pulling anyone. It hurts to watch, but soon enough they will be the ones begging for success, because they thought looks could carry them through life. The most beautiful people, are the ones who barely talk, that’s what I’ve always thought at least. :)
@@Zero-ry8qp thanks, that actually means a lot :)
@@sum6521 No problem, Always here to help :)
I didn't realize why I couldnt stay listening to the upbeat playlists. Its because thats not how I feel now. I just needed this, even though its making me sad I need to feel, its better than being numb of all feelings.
I think we all would wish to be a kid back like we all were because we were happy and unbothered but in reality it was always this bad we just didn’t realize it. And stuff didn’t hit us that hard, we were kids and we all know we can’t go back. It will never be the same.
Yeah I feel you with this playlist.
Feels like I am growing up so quick...
The older I get the more I realise how messed up this world is and that your parents and 'adults' are just like you trying to get by in life.
I appreciate this playlist and hope your have a good day :)
I wish i got the chance to actually be a kid for once, everything just hit me all at once that i cant get any rest literally 😩 sleep deprivation is awsome
Why is this the "Best" years of our lives? Can't we just be who we wanna be? Love who we wanna love? Do want we wanna do? Every day there's one thing. One person. That stops us and let's us know, "It's ok to live and cry. Just do it with someone."
i missed the times that weren't toxic like, just chilling outside, hanging out with friends, the times that we interact and talk to people without problems,chilling at home while raining and just watching TV and vibe to some songs.
i miss the times when i was really happy .. i'm tired of everything that's happening to me now .. friendship breakdown .. loneliness .. communication with only two people .. i’m just tired of everything.. i just want to be happy again.
Wow... this made me think when I actually got a "hi" a hug a smile damn how the years fly past..
As i grow up, i start to see things from a different angle, i start to overthink, sometimes overthinking too much, sometimes causing stress for myself. i just want to be a kid again, not knowing anything, just trying to grow up.
I miss when i didnt fake a smile, or make subtle hints about my deteriorating mental health. i just want to be ok. i miss not worrying about when i come home, what im going to be yelled at for. i miss not having my parents screw me over. i miss hanging out with my friends without a care in the world. i wish i was ok. i miss not being sad. i miss having my parents comfort me. i miss not having medications tear me down. i miss waking up ready for a new day. i just want to feel alive again.
I feel like I’m spiraling down into nothing. This made me realize I’m not the only one. Ofc I’m not happy that anyone else feels like this, but it just feels too overwhelming to deal with by myself and no one irl gets it. So thanks
I wish I was still a kid, it was so fun when I’d get excited over watching a movie I’ve seen so , so many times. I miss saying bye to my dad every morning. I miss my mum cuddling me tight for hours when I had growing pains as a child. I miss making a den in the forest with my friends. I miss my friend waiting for her work to get checked and she’d lean over and tell me if mines is correct. I miss the times id get excited over getting McDonald’s. I miss playing on my rocking horse as if I was riding into battle on my horse. I miss being so happy when my papa would pick me up from nursery. I miss thinking I was cool because I had fizzy juice and stayed up last bed time. I miss when we got our first dog Alfie and I was his favourite. I miss my old Marie toy. I miss my older sister always teasing me and saying “Mias on a Maddie”. I miss my sisters friends coming over and playing with me. I miss making minecraft worlds with my sister, I miss old me. I miss my first day of school. I miss my friend 🕊. I miss laughing in assembly and being held back and still laughing my head off. I miss watching my phone on the school bus making jokes with my friend. I miss my p1 teacher . I miss my p4 teacher, who would listen to me hours on end. I miss staying after class to held my friends . I miss being a kid
people tell me "these are the best years of ur life" or "you only live once" yea these are the worst years of my life right now. people try to tell me it's not that bad when they don't even know what i've gone threw or been threw. this is the playlist that i've needed.
“One day you’re gonna see how things really are.”
“I hope I never grow up at all.”
Damn that hit hard..
I can't even cry anymore, I'm so close to doing it, so close to ending everything regardless of how much they would miss me, yes it's selfish but hey what can I say other than I tried.
Edit: I'm okay. I'm living my life pretty much as it is when I typed this. I'll be fine though... Thanks for your concern. I appreciate it :). ☺︎︎
hey i understand how you feel, im so sick and tired of everything and i just want to end it all but i guess i still have hope for the future what i might be able to do once i am able to support myself, try and set goals for your future and give yourself hope because you matter. This probably didnt help at all but i just wanted to say something just in case i was able to tweak your mindset even the tiniest bit
Please dont
Please tell me your winning, i believe in you sm, were strangers not even knowing what each other looks like but i believe in you
i believe in you, i love you, please stay
i love you and i am so proud of you i know your a stranger but you are so strong
My neighbors must be happy hearing this music at 1 am with me
mhm, they lucky.
I wish I could be ur neighbor
And then your neighbors are sitting by the window crying to the same music as you are. Because I definitely didn't used to sneak out and listen to these kinds of playlists with my best friend
@@riley-qi5cr I wish I could, but I live on a 3'rd floor and sneaking out trough the window = death
Yup
Does anyone get hurt when your parents or any family member reminds you that you’re getting older. For example, once I told my sister that she was old enough to make her own egg(she’s 15 turning 16). She didn’t really like that for some reason so she told me: “ You’re old enough to buy a house and live on your own.” (I’m 17 btw) Another example is about chores in the house. She basically just washes the dishes while I vacuum, take the dog out, make breakfast for the both of us and sometimes I might even dust off furniture. I ask my mom if she can make her do more because it’s just not fair that she gets to do whatever she wants while I either have to help my mom or else she’ll be mad. She responds with” you know her, she’s lazy. Just let her be”. I’m honestly hate being the oldest sibling. I hate being reminded that I’m the oldest. It makes even worse when I’m a year older than most of my classmates. The worst thing of all is that I can’t change it. No matter how hard I wish for it to change I can’t. I hate that I’m being held to high expectations. I hate doing things first. I hate that if I make any mistakes, everything goes down hill. If my sister is better at a subject than I am, it apparently means that I wasn’t trying in that class which is why I got so many “bad” grades. I honestly feel like an outcast always. I feel as if I don’t belong here and that life would be much better without me. But, the thing is, I don’t want to d1e. I just want to restart life, be given a second chance. I don’t know where I’m going with this but I’m so sorry if you read this or relate to any of this. I know it may not seem bad but this is just the way I feel. Eventually, I think I’ll get over all of this. I kind of doubt it since this started when I was 8 years old but who knows, life has many surprises. Anyways…have a blessful day! 💖
I really want a friend that I can say and do things around without overthinking everything yknow?
exactly
Heh
If my friends knew what I am thinking theyd just hate me
Like everyone else I guess
I just wonder why I don’t just tell them so I can be alone, not getting hurt and not hurting them
Heyy, can I help somehow?? If u wanna talk or something, I can try to make your day better :)
Haha that made me smile so u already helped in a way loll it's ok tho coz rn I'm just tryna work on bettering myself
@@coffeejelly1839 oh, alright alright, thank you for tryin, im proud of u for it, u doin such a great job! :] keep goin ~ but still, im here if somethin, have a nice day
I still remember playing outside, running, laughing, playful pushing, made up games, holding my moms hand as we walk home from school and I was for some reason happy to get homework, it was easy, it didn't take that much time to do and I was excited for the move, I wanted to see the world. Now, I just want to sleep forever and stay in my imagination.
...today is my 14th birthday party..I've been sad the whole time because I don't wanna grow up... I keep telling myself I'm literally going to be driving next year...I'm scared tbh..and my teenage years are being spent on lockdown and not with friends.. :c
HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAYYY 😌❤️
i'm almost seventeen now and i feel the same.
i'm fkin scared of what will be going yesterday.
Its not scary I promise you just get more freedom to do what you want ❤️
Happy super late birthday! Don't be scared be brave. Even tho growing up might suck, it's a gift to live longer so you have an opportunity to live your dream. Ily
@@samanthasweet3497 that was really powerful wow...thank you like a lot it means a lot to know I'm not the only one :) if you ever need anyone to talk to just add me on insta cayden.e.dover...sending you all the hugs
it’s like when ever I take another step there’s something in my way, but I’m getting there.
This is a vent feel free to read.
My best friend lives 8 hours away and I'm going to visit her for a month on Friday. My parents said if my room wasn't clean they won't take me they always get mad if it's not clean. I have been trying so hard My whole life to make them happy I've done so many things but they only notice the things I mess up on. They were never there for me nobody was, from pre k- 3rd grade I had no friends I was alone in my private school I was getting told I was going to hell for wearing the boys clothes and that I was gonna be gay I didn't know what that ment I alway assumed gay was bad and I didn't feel safe. My dad would always be working and I sometimes wouldn't see him for over 24-48 hours I was 4 I needed him. From 4-5 grade I found friends but little did ik they treated me so badly. 6th grade my best friend was with me. From ages 6-12 my parents worked on a farm and they were physically there it didn't feel like it they were always working they wouldn't make time for me. They would work all day and ignore me when they were done. I talked to my best friends parents more then my own they were always there. This year (8th grade) I finally found good people but it was still so hard I was going through such a depressive episode. I was trying so hard and when I came home my parents would call me lazy. They were yelling at me because of dirty dishes while I was suicidal. But I still can't get over the fact that they were never fucking there for me.
The fact that you have more guts to say this online with millions of people around more than your parents is shit. I felt that. I still do, fuck life.
@@e.1947 my parents would probably make me feel guilty for feeling like this. I just tired.
I am sorry that u have to go through all that, I know things are hard at this moment I understand what ur going through I promise things will get better theres good coming ur way just be patient I know you were patient before but some day ur gonna have the best of happiness I really wish I could hug you rn but I cant so am hugging you online * hugs * stay safe!
@@milimeter3529 When they say you're lazy but really you just don't have motivation, then they act as if they weren't aware of that. And how they wont get you checked up cause you're still young and then you'll get a record and their reputation will get ruined.
at least your parents work to have everything you need. At your age, I had to start working. So look for a positive, I'm sure your parents love you
if these are the "best" years of my life, then i dont wanna imagine the worst.
Yep 🥲
Parents wonder why bullying is still happening, but in reality it’s there faults. They say, “I met them and they were nice” and “I am friends with their Mom and they are really nice.” It’s like they forget lying exists until we “lie”
I'm a fortunate person. I can lay here wallowing in sadness and still enjoy myself, and honestly have a fun time while being sad and vibing at 12am.
I see myself as a person who’s been through a lot which made me become more wiser than some people that I’m starting to become more harsher to myself. That sounds narcissistic in a way but im not and look, im correcting myself again. I became more of a perfectionist. My plans are all set but when it goes down hill I tend to force myself to overwork my way to achieving what i want. Every single time I mess up I’d redo it all over again just to get that one particular thing I want it to go. My deeper self thinks lowly if I mess up but i cover it up with words of encouragement for myself. I usually give advices to people so if you’re on the same situation as me, remember that you’ve made decisions at the past that made you stronger and even if some of the people hasn’t noticed that yet, the important thing here is that you’ve move forward. Pride isn’t the way to go bestie, let yourself in the true emotions you’ve been holding and let it all out. It’d be over soon and you’d realize that it’s not all that bad. It’s a great coping mechanism.
HEY,HEY I AM TALKING TO YOU OKAY PLS LISTEN TO ME YOU ARE WORTH IT. IF SOMEONE DOES NOT SEE THAT ITS THEIR FKING PROBLEM NOT YOURS.
I WANNA TELL YOU THAT I AM PROUD OF YOU FOR STILL EXISTING AND I HOPE YOU NEVER ERASE YOUR PLACE IN HERE.
YOU MIGHT THINK SOMETIMES YOUR WORTHLESS BUT YOUR NOT WORTHLESS EVERYBODY FEELS LIKE THAT IN SOME POINT.
BUT ITS OK IM HERE ITS SAFE HERE
YOU DONT NEED TO BE ANYBODY JUST BE YOURSELF I LOVE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE AND NOTHING IS GONNA CHANGE THAT
ITS OK IF YOU WANT SOMEONE TO TALK TO I AM HERE I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE
YOU DONT NEED TO BE WITH ANYONE TO BE HAPPY.
PLS REMEMBER THAT.
PLS REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT ALONE. MANY OF US HAVE BEEN THERE I PROMISE ITS GONNA BE OKAY
DONT TRY TO CHANGE YOURSELF JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE SAID SO IF YOUR HAPPY THEN THATS WHAT MATTERS.
IVE BEEN THERE.I KNOW ITS HARD BUT PLS JUST HOLD ON
I PROMISE IT WILL BE BETTER SOON.
IF YOUR FEELING SAD CRY LET IT ALL OUT ITS OKAY YOUR SAFE HERE.
I LOVE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.
-stranger
If these are the times we'll look back on as "The good ole days" then why go on. Everythings dull these days, i feel like a vinyl record just spinning around the emotional cycles. Man why are things the way they are?
I wish these years could be the best as everyone are telling me .. I hate when my parents are telling me that I should go to parties with my friends or without, so I could make some new friends. They're telling me that if I don't want to do it now I'll DEFINITELY start to be all "funny and outgoing" when I'll turn 16 this year, since there starts "a teenage life". The problem is that I don't think I'll ever be like that.. now everything I do is just sitting in my home, all alone and playing games or drawing. I don't want to meet with my friends (well I have only 2), because I just don't have the strenght to do it...
Tbh I haven't really felt like myself for about a 3 years now. I don't know what happened to me, but I "see" everything in black colors and if I'm being honest, I'm thinking about commiting suicide, everyday. Maybe it's not that I want to die, I don't know.. I just want to be happy again and I want to find a peacefull place, where I could finally be fully relaxed and happy. And even as if I were in the most beautiful place in the world, I still wouldn't be able to enjoy being here, you know what I mean? Just nothing material can't really heal my head, and I know it very well, but still, I'm trying to find any way to be myself again.
Also why I can't have a copy of me who would live my life, while I'll just lay in my bed and wait for death? Sometimes I really wish that I could just lay in my bed all days and do nothing. I really need a professional help, but I'm too scared to go to psychologist, but If I won't do it, I'll do something stupid to myself, because I'm really close to ending this all (also I was crying as I wrote that so sorry for all mistakes).
That'll be all.. thank you very much stranger, if you read this .. It means a lot to me
Hey Stranger, I admire the courage you have to share this with everyone here. I may not know you but I think you need to hear me tell you that I am proud of you! I am so proud of you. Firstly you admitted that you're scared and that's okay. Second you found and listed all the things that scare you or are stressing you at the moment. I hope eveything gets better for you and if it has yet it will. At least that's what everyone keeps telling me. I send all the love I have in this shattered heart of mine, along with a long distance hug!♥︎
Alright put aside everything and notice how perfect this playlist is
It’s like they’ve all forgotten me..
all my friends and my best friend let me alone. I’m always alone, nobody see my cries. I miss the little kid who hug her mom when she was sad.
If these are the best years of my life....
I want a refund.
Lmfaoo sameeee
same i-
Same here
Bruh me too
i hope your best years come 💗
Remember when we were kids? We had fun almost everyday without worrying about anything, and do u remember the words "I can't wait to grow up" or "I want to be an adult" and yours parents always told u that life is better as a kid and they would give anything just to be kids again.
Do u remember this days? And now we can't wait to our last day...
I wished I never grew up. I was so excited when I was a child probably cus I was naive and didn't saw how the real world works and wished I get to do they're 'fun' jobs. I didn't really notice the hole sipping all my time while I was looking at everyone around me wishing I was them, and I wasted all my time. the time that I was supposed to enjoy on what I have while I was a child. I didn't really saw the manipulation and stressful thing that was happening behind the scenes . lol wha-
I wanted to grow up bcz I thought everything was going to stop. Be strong
I'm turning 18 in 6 months and I feel like I missed too many things in my teenage years. I always loved going outside to play with friends when I was little but now, very often, I prefer being alone and doing nothing. Moments like this make me think that I'm the only one restraining me from having my best moments.
i just wanna be hugged, like a real close loving true hug
I want to hug u
But i dont know u
If only i met someone like u
That feel that need to be loved
Sorry for my blah blah
@@NotSoRawan thank you.
yesterday I found this playlist, I was very happy. i laughed and smiled. Yesterday evening I listened, but without smiles. I am insanely glad to the author, thank you very much.
Nobody’s just happy so find something that makes you happy or something to look forward to mines when the moon is full and I like gazing at its brightness :)
POV: This music helps maintain your best years of life,and helps you stay on top of it.
Or you can cry under it, and maybe even think about something. In any case, this music is very helpful for the soul.
should i laugh cry or just be the "strongest" girl and my parents disappointment. Prend everything is fine. Put up a bad ass mask. "Well I'm a good child. I mean-" that's what I always hear. Well I'm trying. I really am.
I can relate to this. Everyone expects me to be happy because I promised I would. I honestly don’t know when my mental health deteriorated. I just gave up and now everyone thinks I’m just rude and lazy. I can’t even tell anyone. They would probably just tell me to shut up and that I’m too young to be feeling like this.
you know what i miss? i miss the times where i had true happiness.... i couldnt wait to grow up but now after experiencing the life of one whos grown up i really just want to relive and be the kid i used to be....i miss the times where there was no pressure no bullying ... i was actually truely free and happy...right now ive hit rock bottom. im keeping so many things to myself which i cant talk to anyone about i dont know who i can trust. i just want to release everything but the fear of getting judged or misunderstandings happening stops me.
i haven’t achieved anything, i have lost so many things these last years, my anxiety is killing me every single day. Nothing brings me joy anymore, i have no friends here, i have nothing. I’m gonna be an adult soon and i am not looking forward to it.
this makes me fee so much better. music just makes life a whole lot easier
You know it's crazy that when I was younger I didn't even realize I was hiding my anger and sadness...
At the age of 4, I moved schools and home...soon everything became a fight...
At the age of 5, my mother became a single parent, and we were living in a small van.
Somehow I would go to school every day at that age and
smile knowing my mom could barely afford anything for us.
I remember wanting to join the dance team and my mom told me that she was so sorry and I couldn't join...
I remember kids talking about their parents and
realized that I didn't have a lot of the things they had,
but still, my mom made me so happy and tried getting me everything I wanted.
At the age of 6, my mom went back with my father of course at the start everything was pretty good but
then they started fighting again...
and my father wanted to kick my brother out and he would yell at my sister...and me?
I always tried getting in between the fight to stop it but he always yells at me to get into a room,
I was too young to fight...I was scared...
At the age of 7, we left again, we moved in with my uncle...
let me tell you my uncle is a bit crazy lol but that was the most fun I've had in years he's pretty cool.
... throughout all these years I've learned to fight yes,
I may be an all A student and do nothing bad
but that's cause I choose to go down a good path, still don't get on my bad side : )
And as I've gotten older the same things kept happening we go back, yelling, we leave on and on and on.
So yeah I'm 13 years old now, we are here with my dad...
they sometimes fight it's a bit toxic tbh but I have a home and food and amazing friends.
I'm so grateful for everything I have because I've been through shit and I've wanted to give up so many times but I do feel safe now...Of course, I still have my battles to fight but at least some scars are healing
I wish you the best
sometimes i’m scared that i made it up. and when i think that i made it up i just try to prove myself that it cannot be not true. and i think i will keep doing this till it happens. dreaming is also good it just matters that we both r happy… perfect.
I didn’t even realize it was a playlist I just thought it was all my recommended bc I love all these songs tysm for this playlist XD
i used to think that i was ready for the day that i have to grow up and get out there but now when i think about it, its so scary. ive come to realize how much i like not being able to worry about everything. just staying at home and playing video games all day. but i also realize that the day will eventually arrive right at my doorstep so i feel motivated to get out there and just overcome any insecurity or problem thats in my way because i wanna have memorable years not just online but irl too.
i miss traveling with my class and sneaking into the boys room past bed time then eating snacks with them and playing tod, i miss not knowing how awful this world is , i miss how i wasn’t sexualized, i miss when i couldn’t disappoint anyone , i miss jamming to radio hits in the car with my mom, i miss being able to play tag and eating apple slices after and so much morw
my eighteenth birthday is nearing... and i can't help but think it's an end of an era. college is filling my life, responsibilities of getting a job and doing well are constantly being thrown at me and it saddens me. when did life get so complicated? when did i suddenly enter what i used to look forward to? adulthood? it's not what i thought it would be. i just want to be a kid again. carefree, with no worries. free. i miss my childhood.
I miss the days when I was a kid, not worrying about what the new day would bring.
bro
I loved this version of "freaks, television blonde", it was the best I've heard so far.🌹
god i want a friend like me.
Seriously though
I miss the times when I was happy with her messages. when every compliment from her filled my soul and body with warmth. I really want to go back there. to understand that I am loved and important. now I feel nothing, just trying to be my old version. I really get tired.
Thank you, for this playlist. please take care of yourself.
Im so glad i found this video. Its not only the music that is grate... Readed much of comments there, i hope you guys will find your happiness! I also missing my old times when i was younger and tryed not to understand those fear and dark that is in reality. I miss my childhood friends and my friends too.... In this year i lost 3 friends, they just left me... all.... Without telling me anything. First one just lef tme and blocked everywhere without any reason. We was childhood friends and was like brothers and everything for us but... he just left me and now he is with his girl. Last both just stopped talk with me with cuz of stupidity and misunderstanding. When i talk to them they said "nothing to say" and that was all... I was right about everything and gave them much of facts that they are close to me but... They just said " fuck you " and left me.
when i was 4 i started collecting every mc donald happy meal box they gave me, last night i found them downstairs when i was looking for a CD. i stopped doing this around 9 or 10 years old. i i held some of them and began to cry. i am now 14 and remembering my childhood makes me so happy! i've looked at old drawings, old collections and old CD's of me when i was younger, i cried watching them. remember when summer camp was fun? now teen camps are just shitty. i want to go back.
My best years were 2015-2017 when I was 10-12 I have moved four times in my life and I don’t want to, it’s messed up my friendships I lived with my two twin cousins and that’s when I hade my best 3 years of my life, I miss those times waking up happy to go to school and coming back to play outside with them or play bo1 or bo2 with them, it was so fun now I’m here with no friends and no social life and it’s mainly bc of COVID and online school but still, I really do miss my past. I hope next year going into 10th grade in person I’ll find friends and have fun like I used to.
TW/ venting people wonder why i say "idk" all the time but its really just because its been so long since I've been genuinely happy (8 years of my life just gone) and I've become so used to it its hard to tell if I'm happy or faking it, if I need to grow up or "stop trying to grow up so fast and enjoy life" if i should just stop or keep trying. also i listened to this playlist at arournd 3 after i had been crying for an hour so that was nice.
i miss not having to put up a mask, i can’t even figure out if the mask is real or fake. i’m always questioning if this is how i really am or did i just become so good at fake-smiling it came so natural.
I wish we stopped growing,I don’t even enjoy ballet anymore since I get called a slut when my foot taps on that horrible wooden floor.I can’t even enjoy simple hobbies I had like painting,skating,building,and cleaning.I’ve been so drained recently and I can’t ever seek for help due to my mom saying it’s a “unspeakable experience that can only happen to the adults” ifs never been able to express or communicate with actual people due to this.I dropped out of school and I’m only a senior
I loved your channel, please don't stop
tbh I just miss being myself around people without feeling judge and annoying. I miss being able to make friends easily, I miss not having trust issues, I miss being happy when it’s my birthday, I miss when everything on the internet wasn’t toxic, I miss being loved, I miss having someone there for me, I miss telling everyone how I feel without worrying if I’m annoying them, I miss playing in the playground with my friends, I miss not being fear to cry in front of someone, I miss not fighting with my parents and sister, I miss feeling cool on everything I wear, I miss feeling safe everywhere, i miss not being stressed about everything, I miss when I didn’t $3lf-h@rm myself .. I miss it all 🙁 I wish I could at least have a break from everything for a while even a tiny bit.
I feel like a lot of us grew up too fast. I'm almost considered an adult and yet I feel like I should still be outside playing tag and having fun with friends. It's scary but it has to happen. I'm not ready but I am. Not knowing what has to come is the most terrifying part, I don't know who I am or what I want to be. I just miss not worrting about anything. I want to just be a kid again. I'm scared
im almost 17 and I felt like so much better things could have happen. So far I spent all my highschool years alone and they have been nothing but trash. I feel like I missed out on so much when people said it was the best time of there life's.