Dr. Gabor Maté - Compassionate Inquiry
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 ม.ค. 2018
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Dr. Gabor Maté discusses Compassionate Inquiry with @BanyenBooksSoundVancouver.
Dr. Gabor Maté, renowned addiction expert and international speaker, discusses Compassionate Inquiry, a psycho-therapeutic method for facilitating physical, mental and emotional healing. Born out of necessity and rooted in the inseparability of mind and body, Dr. Maté highlights the importance of processing unresolved pain within ourselves as the foundation of helping others free themselves from the past, release trauma, and connect to a healing power within. Gabor Maté's books are available from Banyen Books: banyen.com/mate
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Credits:
Interview Host: Farah Nazarali
Video Production: Vitantonio Spinelli
Production Manager: Jacob Steele
Music: Laura Reznek
For me Dr. Maté is Leonard Cohen of psychotherapy.
21:43: Being compassionate is holding space without wanting to 'fix' the other person.
What is most effective with infants. Hold space with therm as they learn to self soothe.. before language has been developed in them.
Just feeling and connection with the subconscious mind.. helping them wire their connection to develop a secure attachment.
When Gabor speaks, everything starts making sense to me.
Yes!
the father we never had. but well i am looking to find a mother figure, i hope i find my mother
Yes ,to me too.
Me too! 🔥
Always.
I only listened to Dr. Mate for a week and I have made a tremendous mental reconnection with my 8-year-old son.
Michael Asus I am very glad for you. May you continue to connect.
That's beautiful 🙏
That’s truly lovely to hear Michael
I completely resonate with this emotion. I m mother to 8 year old boy. My connection with him improved many folds after listening to Dr. Gabor. Infact not just my kid.... the way I look at my parents and spouse also changed. Deeply humbled to find Dr. Mate. He is doing life saving work.
Lucky. He's only 8. Plenty of innocence left to enjoy. Good for you both...
"You have to see the person more clearly than they see themselves."
Gabor Máté is a breath of fresh air amongst therapists of the strictly clinical school who work with defined models, strategies, theories, proof driven papers but cannot be wholly present to the people in front of them. Authenticity is not something one learns through academic studies but through relentless and yet compassionate self-reflection.
How beautifully worded.
Yes , well said. I am so happy to discover him.
Yes, So true. This is the future.
KatiForTruth bingo.
Yes, so 110% well said truth! Authenticity can never be derived from the intellect alone. It's impossible to fully be present with others if one doesn't look within through the same compassionate intent.
it is not the method it is gabor mate's presence who he is. that high definition level of authenticty he is vibrating when with you, that shakes and put things into it's place.
Exactly. Exactly. It's his frequency.
Indeed. I'm listening to two of his books, read by one of his sons, I believe.
They fall totally flat! I really wish he'd have read them outloud himself
It's amazing how he put the connection together between the physical body, trauma and how it affects the body.
I have a 20 years old son. Just found Dr. Máté's youtube videos. I wish i had found them 15 years ago....
There is no subsititute for the sheer experience Gabor has in dealing with people and emotional pain.
The fact that his message of compassion and understanding seems alternative however, illlustrates the disconnect we have within our society from our human nature.
Thanks for the work Gabor, it's more important than you know.
I agree he is great but I really can't see any difference between what he's proposing and person-centred counselling. It seems to be making the exact same discoveries that Carl Rogers . This doesn't take away from his .achievement
Relationship IS therapy!!
Safety is connection!
To love someone you have to understand them!!
Using proper language!!
Being there for the other for their wholeness
Self compassion
Fierce compassion making others better at feeling
Not afraid of their pain when you tell them the truth not in a confrontational way!
God bless Dr Mate for helping me understand myself ❤️
I've never dealt or healed completely from my trauma and it shows. I've never worked on myself sufficeintly, I've done quick counselling appointments then send me back to work for years. It's too expensive, right? I'm done looking back and saying I wish I had of gotten help before messing up this relationship etc. What's done is done, I am going to heal first, and only then try again. It's not fair to any other person to deal with me and my mental state, and I deserve to be whole and happy. I'm not letting anyone break me down ever again, I'm worth more than that.
The more I listen to Dr Mate the more I discover about myself. He is a tool in my tool box to work through life.
Excellent questions by the interviewer. She listens carefully and articulates well.
She is half of why this is such a fantastic interview! she is informed!
Thank you. I appreciate your feedback on my interviewing skills. Love and OM, Farah
@@wendybesse90 thanks for your feedback and for noticing my abilities. I love interviewing people and it is such an honor for me. Love and OM, Farah
Gabor has to be a gift from God, if your inclined to believe in God, if not, he is a gift anyway , he is so intelligent . I doubt there is another person like him , he does what comes natural to him , I just love him so much for what he does. He is always a great guest to anyone that has him on their show. Thank you for having them on . He always teaches something ...
I AM. LIKE HIM ME YOI😇😎🙊🙉🙈
Dr Gabor believes strongly in exploring .... the mind, body, spiritual connections, in his patient's lives! .... He must be a very effective therapist.
For future reference for anyone - there are other therapists writing in the same mode. Polly Young-Eisendrath, psychoanalyst and practicing Buddhist; James Hollis - many interviews on TH-cam and has done pioneering work in male psychology; Donald Kalshed, with major life work and writing on early childhood trauma - lectures on TH-cam. Also Ann Ulanov with truly brilliant books; Rollo May (now RIP) but his books are as insightful as ever; and his brother Gerald May, Marion Woodman, I could go on but that's enough. Like Hollis and Kalshed, Young-Eisendrath is also on TH-cam.
@@paulademichele1313 Thanks for those references Paula. Always looking for more insightful therapists. I was greatly helped by Terrence Real and just discovered Pete Walkers wonderful book on CPTSD.
There is. I have a professor at my uni like him she talked about Buddhism and stuff. My favorite professor by far. I’m trying to see when i can take another course with her
l love Gabor.He is authentic down to the ground.His stance on the metaphor from people's truth really rang a bell for me today.l love his honesty and his hands on approach.l learnt a lot today in this interview, the world is very fortunate to have Gabor as a teacher.🙏💛
I have just started a counselling course (beginners) and its crazy how a medical doctor is giving great advice on counselling without actually labelling it as such. A wonderful gift.
I have just discovered Dr. Mate on youtube at a time when I'm very receptive to his insights and wisdom. As an American, I am aware of the constant acting out of trauma that is "coming to a head" that grips this country in upheaval on every institutional and personal level. I embrace the fiercely compassionate call to connect with and allow the light within to heal me so that I can help others connect with their own, true selves and do the same. Our leaders are, and have been, empty and addicted to power, influence, and money for a very long time and do not have the capacity to be that light for us. This, in and of itself, is a very painful time full of "fierce grace."
Thank you...So well put...
18:30 -19:30.... ✨👌🏽✨
Yes! I'm (compassionately) NOT here to protect you from your emotional pain, but to be a comforting, compassionate presence and witness of the healing that you've allowed yourself have through this uncomfortable experience . AND I'm honored 🙏🏽that you feel so safe in my presence.
🌷🌹💐🌹🌷
Godspeed! 💫
every doctor, and pro's in healthcare, should listen to dr gabor... hoping they would finally 'realise' it's much more then following their books...
Doctors should listen to alot of things they don't listen to.
Wonderful Interviewer ! So rare , great patience and questions.Mate' is criticized negatively about his knowings. That is astounding to me. People really do carry their own shit to pile on others. Thank you Gabor Mate' for sacrificing your safeness for others.
mikeygreenman you are very right. Mate is a messiah
YES
20:00 - Oooh. He says it straight out: 'Practitioners are symptom controlling because they haven't dealt with their own pain'. I really hope this crazy medicating pain away will soon be a thing of the past.
I must listen to everything this man has ever said, so that I may have the wisdom of Life
Watch the broken people. They are the one's who have a passion to know.
Wow ... he's articulating things that I have been practicing. Listening to how people speak.! He speaks of language and I have been a fan of linguist Noam Chomsky for years. "Paying attention to metaphor" Amazing insight. Thank You!
I presume that’s one of your strengths being able to sit with other people’s pain. A gift to others.
Having you talk about safety that feeling has run my life in many areas.
I go into a situation such as work, party, etc immediately look for someone who looks non threatening.
Not in a physical sense but emotional.
My sense of self is so fragile I feel like I’m an open wound walking around and at any given moment someone can say something to completely destroy me and I go into a deep depression or suicidal response.
Therefore my entire life has been very small.
I don’t allow many people to get close and I basically hide.
I don’t know if this makes any sense.
Thank you for all your teachings
I am sorry, Susan, to hear that. Do you have somebody to talk to about it? I send you hugs, just be yourself, be gentle to yourself, talk to yourself nicely (don't be ashamed to tell yourself that you are beautiful and unique, and that you will come through stronger, wiser and more beautiful). Forgive yourself, spend time in nature and outdoors, and know that ALL of us are going through something abd that you are not alone. We are all together in this spiritually and mentally.
I am listening to Dr Gabor for a day, I am blessed to fine him. I gained alittle hope already that life is not so terrible...
"Love is the Crowning Glory of Understanding"--gift words from a dream. I love (want the other to be happy) Thich Nhat Hanh. Great Compassion in the Buddhist sense is wanting to relieve the suffering of all other sentient beings. Dr. Mate, I love your work, your being, always present. I am always learning from you. I remembered a picture of my father against a brick wall, holding me out as an infant away from his body, His hands were like claws.
Fierce Compassion = Wrathful Compassion (tough love) . . . Fierce Grace is lovely
I love this guy and this bookshop was my favourite place when i was in Vancouver.
amazing vulnerability from the speaker. truth teller indeed.
I truly understand what you mean. He is amazing and calming. That being said, as I use "compassionate Inquiry" in my day to day life and as does my husband, it WORKS!! Thankfully I don't need Gabor in my living room or moments of grief to do compassionate Inquiry.
I truly believe it is both. If it were just him, that would be unfortunate to those of us that don't have him at our disposal.
What he teaches, works. I'm living proof :)
Love...understanding and holding the other...holding the space for them unconditionally...BEAUTIFUL! Not just emotionality...
Fierce compassion.
Clear mirror.
Not there to protect from pain.
This is beautiful.
This man is anointed!
Mind blowing. Mind shaking. Mind opening.
Your talks have brought me to a higher level of my development. Consciousness. I appreciate you
An underlying theme of this video is the importance of human needs. It is really important that we have an understanding of human needs. Would be interesting to see a a video by Dr. Mate on - Human Needs.
This was great to listen to. Thanks for making relationship and compassion more important components for healing than 'medication' (drugs).
Lost in space and he helps me remember where I want to go
"Relationship is therapy" - who said that? I resonate :)
His friend and colleague Gordon Neufeld,?
Thanks for sharing this interview. As always with Dr. Mate, there is much for us to learn.
💚🙏🙏🙏 thank u for ur wisdom dr Gabor
Beautiful interview, really valuable insights, thank you✨🙏🏻
Amazing man, thank-you🙏
Thank you . Great to see such balance and good work ! Reminds us that love is the answer .
Amazing wisdom compassion truth he’s an amazing person, thank you Gabor Mate x 😊
A good book to understand this very pivotal question of human needs is Psychoanalysis and Motivation by Joseph Lichtenberg. I bought a copy on Thrift books.
Gabor KING
YES
Wonderful interview!
Amazing. Thank you 🙏🏽
Thank you 🙏🏻 God bless you
In understanding the metaphor of the sun and the earth, to understand it you have to think about the relationship of the earth and the sun, but to understand it you also have to know the importance of human needs. That is not an intuitive thing - that is something you learn in psychology. What are human needs? So Dr. Mate is bringing a lot of knowledge to the encounter which is elemental - a lot of knowledge of psychology which someone may or may not have. It is so automatic to him that he is unconscious of all it really takes to understand the metaphor.
all the blessings of the universe ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Beautiful
Wow!
This was a pleasure to listen too.
I listened to the whole conversation and retained no information from it. And that's okay because I can come back and listen to this again.
Great interview questions!
I appreciate your confession 22:00
When they cut for what revolves around what I could relate lol it’s something we don’t thing about often haha
He’s so good god bless h thk u dr.
Gabor Mate is streets ahead Of Jordan Peterson. A totally alternate view, which doesn't rely on judgement of the other person.
Yes... he is not just talking.. he is saying something ... to the point clearly and precisely...
All parents to be, parents and educators on all levels should learn from him .
Why the comparison? Needless and churlish. They are both passionate and dedicated people.
yeah... so amazing judgmental... this comment says a lot about you actually...
I love them both.
it's interesting to find this comment here since I myself have been somehow struggling to find the balance between gabor's and peterson's work
I think Peterson approach really reasonates with me
it provides, to quote himself, "maps of meaning" by which you can see yourself and the world in what it seems to me true lens
the way he can make you integrate scientific and religious knowledge for example presented me a whole new picture of reality
on the other hand, hearing and reading gabor gave me priceless insights on how to be myself and to be able to connect to people
Love in general as a human being, should be only your self decisions, whether, if you have been loved by them
You can tell he's read Alice Miller. Good man
Everything is gold but 25:06 is the essential
“Save the space “ I keep hearing this. What does it mean? I’m trying to repair relationship with teenage daughter after Parental alienation.
I’m very much inspired by your thinking and approach....It has stirred up a lot of emotions for me and I believe I could use the help of a Psychologist to navigate through it.
I live in Montreal is there anyone you might direct me too?
I don't believe you'll find what you seek from a psychologist.
@@dalefoss4995 then what will help?
I wish I could find someone that thinks this way to help me in sessions... even if it was just a student.
Only person I can even find in CBT charges 145$ for 45 minute sessions :/
So how does one deal with compassion when working for an jekyll and hyde personality boss?I know that what ever he says has to do about him and not me. I don't know how to communicate with him.
That's not a place for compassion. That's a place for understanding and accepting.
I rely on subtitles to aid me and infrequently it's crucial to get down correctly what the speakers are saying. In this particular interview, it's disappointing to think i hear one thing and see a different, often incorrect, word instead. Is there any way to edit these subtitles? One example is at 16:49 Dr. Mate is saying "...but so compassion exists" and the subtitle reads "...but so 'profession' exists..." and if i hadn't been listening and replayed Dr. Mate several times to get the context right, i would have missed a key point he was making that compassion exists on several levels & that's the basis for his course on Compassionate Inquiry.
"The tragic communication of a need" is what I refer to as the sign language of the soul (working title of the book I may never write). For what does one ever "act out" but a story? So, what's the story that need be told?
Interesting combination of traditional (interpretive) and humanistic (compassionate, accepting), and, somehow, holistic. I appreciate the human(e), presence, present moment aspects of Mate’s approach, especially asking us as clinicians to bring our own Self, and doesn’t sound particularly unique. But based on how thousands respond to him, I must be wrong.
❤️
9:07 Tina Turner quote 🥰
He is doing Carl Rogers work.
Why do I go through episodes of drinking? My husband is asking.
Once I begin., I continue. He is angry.
❤
This is good stuff, but it seems to owe a lot to Carl Rogers' Person Centred approach, it's a pity it isn't mentioned.
Yes! I was just thinking, I only have a diploma in counselling but my training covers everything he has mentioned in regards to his practise. I was trained in person centred counselling. Revised version 😂
😊
we build on the shoulders of giants... we all do our work (inner or outer) based on what those who came before us passed on. it's impossible to mention and credit every single person who ever affected us, every time we speak.
Interesting. I took a week long class at work many years ago and was trained in empathic listening. The teacher was either a student of, or a peer of, Carl Rogers (I don’t remember which). It was the best thing I’ve learned in terms of being able to really hear people. And I can still tell when I am being authentic in what I say or not based on that learning.
@@alignwithsource indeed, love this quote dont know its origin. When the student is ready the teacher will appear. Interviews would go on forever if all teachers were mentioned. Also no thought is ever original no matter how far back in history.Source is vicariously noted and applied to the thinkers own understanding and use thereof in motivational inspiration..
P
Are there any people who don't deserve comapssion?
I like Gabor Mate's talks, but really he thinks he's invented the wheel. Carl Rogers work in the 1950s describes the 'core conditions' of the therapeutic relationship, including empathy, unconditional positive regard & authenticity. If you do a BACP counseling course you have to commit to your own therapy & self reflection. This is true for other therapy modalities, such as psychodynamic interpersonal therapy, compassion focused therapy.
I don't disagree with what he is saying, but what I don't like is that he thinks he's discovered something new, & cites a couple of examples of rubbish therapists to validate this. I think he should give credit to Carl Rogers, or perhaps expand his own reading & research before 'inventing' a new therapy technique. Much as I respect this lovely Man, this talk is more about where he is at personally, his own realisations, or perhaps what kind of medical professionals he's personally encountered. This is the sort of thing you discuss with your supervisor as a therapist or counsellor.
Really, he doesn't mean to, but he insults 1000s of highly compassionate, person centred therapists who honour, hear & provide a nurturing environment for their clients in their daily work, and have been doing so for decades.
Just sit down!
If they was borne with the same condition, or opposite,
What people DO deserve punishment?
🤓
Metaphors are not enough. They need triangulation
"You have to see the person more clearly than they see themselves."