My life changed for good after hearing and following his advice . I advices most of my believing friends and sisters to watch this video. I keep hearing it quite often . I agree with his advice . Only a true believer agrees with his advice. I request all believers who are getting married or already married to hear and follow his advice. I
Myself and my husband are non practising catholic,we were thinking of divorce after 5 years of marriage. This has saved my marriage, I understand now why he is always at work, I am by no means subservient but I consider my husbands feelings before I nag him.we now have a much nicer home environment and romance has returned
Secondly, regarding your point on men finding other women attractive: Here are the facts : If husbands wish to be respected by their wives, THEY TOO ought to respect their wives. One of the greatest disrespects to a woman is for her to know that her husband finds another female attractive,especially in her presence. Brothers,please keep your thoughts to yourself and keep your gazing for when you are out on your own. A WOMAN WANTS TO FEEL LIKE A WOMAN TOO...You can do this by making her believe that she is the only attractive female in the world- WE HAVE EGOS TOO!
Wrong. A wife must respect husband because he spends on her and its not vice versa. and Offcourse husband will respect wife when he is respected, he is not a mad person.
point 4 really broke my heart. It's really hard to deal with it as a (very jealous) woman :'( on the other hand, it explains why hijab and modesty uplifts the Muslim woman, and gets men to respect her. But seriously this is really heart breaking :'( understand where we come from also, women are very competitive, and it is hard to know that we will never be "enough" for our husband, that there are still other women getting his attention. HasbiAllah wa ni'mal wakeel :'(
Thank you! Thank You! Thank you! I am a woman and this is information that should NOT be ignored!!! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE these tips!! He is keeping it real and I am glad he was free to share this! Take it straight from the source -- Men--and stop asking your friends (women) the nature of a man! Thanks a bunch!!! May Allah increase your knowledge.
+Jai Laine WOW..., how utterly sad and undermining of women. The mind boggles. All the more reason to pay homage to my Mother who passed on her sense of self-worth for both herself and her daughters. Please, I don't mean to be patronising..., but look around you... observe, listen, watch the news, read a book or two and educate yourself for the benefit of all women! Many of us have a more global perspective which means having a CHOICE!
Yes, I am that wife that is telling my husband before he gets to the mistake because the mistakes that he makes would either land us in jail, kill us, or murder our marriage.. I don't know that I can whole heartedly agree for my own situation lol
I think people are getting yasir wrong. He is simply telling us how men here. He is not justifying it or applauding how men are. It is all about understanding the other
Talha Temuri As salam muhaleikum brother... I accept the fact that you find it disturbing, but try to focus on the point of the video and not the 'side aspects'. In sha Allah, it wont disturb you that much anymore...
halima k I don't agree. If you understand the beauty of Islam then you would find everything annoying but ISLAM, if you are Muslim and makes NG this hideous comment then you will die as a munafik.
I listen both parts of this. Truth is men and women primary needs are different but on the other hand we want same things. We just have to learn to understand each other. Both men and women. Love is the key.
Its sad to see that so many people left negative comments. May Allah reward this shaikh, he has highlighted some main issues which create arguments within a marriage. Be it silly or not but they make sense. U will only understand when your actually in that situation.
This is very nicely done, good for a western muslim audience, and thanks to global hedgemony, the muslim audience. And he's right, a man has a place in islam just like a woman has her own place, i see no problem in not interfering with his decisions and letting him take the final shot. I love how islam, values women to be women, and does not encourage them or force them to act like men. Alhamdulillah. I am a muslim woman.may Allah inspire our men to be real manly men :).
Your comment is very heart breaking to me. I do not know what is going on in your married life because only Allah knows fully your situation but I give sincere dua to Him to give you the peace and tranquility you deserve in your marriage. No one should have to compete for attention. We are all beautiful and unique and our husbands should lower their gaze as Allah has instructed them to then inshAllah there will be less problems. Please be happy my dear sister.
What I see is that you do understand the need of men, you seem to not understand that much of what you say equally apply for women too, with a more affectionate approach and kindness. Kindness is the key to intimacy, including healthy sexual intimacy, take away kindness, be grumpy, be critical and the heart is crushed and the desire will ebb away, till she performs, not engages. That is a terrible loss. Just be kind!
i wish i could put these words in a cup and mix it with zam zam and get my wife to drink it..!!...wallah, she needs it....i still love her though, but this is vital. Ya Allah show all male and female the right path and to stay steadfast & in their rights and obligations.....sister dont mind my joke please, sence of humor is also vital..!!!!
This is very good and informative video mashaAllah. Since i am child of an environment of divorces , and i have observed three marriage relationships while i grew in that condition it leads me to search more about this knowledge. And wallahi, i am telling you everything that this sheikh said is subhanaAllah true. So you have to ask Allah so much to help you. like to respect someone, you need Allah so much to help you. and all the lists you need Allah so much and for all the things you need Allah so much. So if you feel you cant do it, yes guess what we cant except with Allah 's help. and knew that if your niah is good Allah will definitely help you. Even i am not married yet, i trust so much Allah on this. and i hope my comments will bring some of eye opening to people who read it. thank you. May Allah bless us with happiness and love and rahmah marital relationship
And women often don't spend much time to beautify themselves for their husband because he often doesn't show as much appreciation for it, as her friends do at sisters only events.
+ShakirahIbaad I think you are mistaken, men have beauty paraded around them openly in non-muslim countries and are often disappointed when they do not have their visual desires catered to, not all men like the same thing, of course, but all men do like clean, effort made, a good smell, a bright smile, some love make-up and his wife to dress up at times in nice clothing etc... and vice versa.
+sham star Women like good looking men as well...maybe the guy should put in just as much effort as the women. I don't get why a woman has to cater to a man's desire without discussing the needs and desires of a woman equally. He talks entirely about men without discussing how a woman might require some romance, seduction and foreplay to get into the mood. Just taking your opinion as an example, lets say a housewife cleans the house, cooks and looks good on a daily basis. Her husband comes home and she's looking all nice and great. She's fulfilling his visual desires but what about hers? Is her husband fit, does he wear nice clothes, keeps himself groomed etc? Remember prophet yousuf had girls chasing him enough to land him in prison because the queen wanted to seduce him. Girls are just as visually lustful as men; if not more so. It's incredible to me when men talk about women and desires when statistically 70 to 80% of women don't even achieve orgasm during sex. Maybe a dude would get laid more if he thought of pleasing her first!
Farah Hafeez Yes my sister, you are so right. These Scholars love talking about the rights of men at the expense of the wives. This was not the case with our beloved Prophet pbuh. Muslim men would do well to emulate his character, particularly when it came to interacting with his wives... darulfiqh.com/the-romantic-prophet-how-to-be-romantic-your-spouse/ As for 70% of women not getting 'ultimate' satisfaction, that is a problem across the World in all cultures. Men should be 'linguistically' schooled, or in the very least 'handy' to have around to avoid being left high and dry ;)
sham star I agree that it is not a Muslim men problem. I think we need to stop using religion to differientiate between people. We are all human beings and prone to good and bad behavior. The problem is when we try to use religion as an excuse for our behaviors. I think both men and women should try to be mature adults. I don't like this man's perspective because he is describe boys rather than a real man.
maashaAllah this is absolutely amazing and to a great extent realistic. I like the fact that it will prevent me from circumstances of second guessing and assumptions most of the times in sha Allah. and I think that women and men have to come to a common ground to understand and appreciate each other's point of view and our biological psychological differences. We will honestly solve many problems. This is so logical in today's societies.
Assalamu Alaikum Everyone ive recieved a lot of comments & msgs about the humming/nasheed in the background, please forgive me coz i cant remove it...the video was produced by TheDiscoverULife and they put the nasheed in the background: i was just compiling the series into one video for your ease..am very, very sorry my sisters & brothers, i cant do anything...plz make dua for my forgiveness inshallah, Jazaks
There are some hard pills to swallow. Mainly, I feel like this is to remind us when we forget and give us tools when we get lost. May Allah guide us and guide the Sheikh and keep us on the straight path. Marriage baffles me to be honest. Men and women are so different. It is so. so. so. hard. to be with a man, as a woman, esp. since I was raised with mostly girls. May Allah make us capable and make the path clear. Ameen.
Peace to you all. My understanding is that this learned brother went out and did a proper research on a topic that is traditionally a taboo in most cultures Muslim or otherwise. He then mustered the courage to come on a global platform like the youtube to share his findings. It is remarkable that some people find the outcome of this research offensive. Far from being offensive, most of it is actually the brutal truth about men's and women's psychology. You could apply the outcome of this research work on any man or woman from any culture and it will fit perfectly well. My prayers are for this brother, Dr. Yasir, May Allah SWT reward him with the best of His blessings in this world and in the hereafter for this brilliant piece of work.
Men, I got news for you...women also have desires, women also want you to take care of yourself and look good for her, and we DEFINITELY need our alone time as well. Pretty much ALMOST everything this guy said is the same for women.
I agree on all three fronts, but there are definitely things in the psyche of both sexes which are more important for each sex. For example, a woman would also be offended if disrespected, but not as much as a man would be. And a man would also be hurt if made to feel unattractive, but not as much as a woman would be. Of course these are generalisations, and of course you don't need to treat either a man or woman exactly like this for a marriage to work. But I think these are good rules of thumb, especially if a person has no idea why his/her spouse is upset
No i dont agree with you at all. I mean its even psychologly proven that men and women arent the same and also dont desire the same things as much. I think that society/people these days forget that men and women arent the same in how they think(mentally). People only think that the difference between gender is physical. We're slowly forgetting the differences of men and women which goed against our morals and values. :(
Kindah : Never go out your way or force yourself to give a man sex if you don't really want to or if you are not in the mood. Men need to learn about how to be strong without sex, they need to know that sex is not every thing......
Interesting. Jazaak Allah khair... Sisters who find this demeaning please remember that you do this to please Allah first and foremost so put your ego's aside. Allah has ordained that your husband is one of your keys to entering Jannah, as long as you are good to him and observe the duties Allah has set out for you - then in shaa Allah Jannah will be written for you. Subhan Allah. May Allah allows us to please our husbands and grant us Jannah, ameen.
enjoy being a servant to your husband for the rest of your life only to find out theres no heaven.. I understand why men buy these bullshit but why are women brainwashed? all islam does to women is devalue and mentally torture them.. wake up muslim women.. have some common sense this is so sad!! :(
I am a 22 years old female and I love male psychology. I want to be a wife in which my future husband will find complete tranquility in. and I look up to Khadija RA. In syaa Allah.
i was lucky to have the wife i had lol...she gave me what i wanted most of the time. i have to work on my romance though, i had the most wondeful wife ever.i was lucky to have her
I love you for the sake of Allah brother Yasir. You are one of the best scholar, that Allah has bless us with. May Allah reward you for this lecture it is as real and honest as it can get. Love ❤️. Like it or not it's the truth.
Asc TABARAKA-ALLAH what a beautiful lecture for those of you who listen and disagree I MAY ALLAH OPEN YOUR HEART TO THE TRUTH AND UNDERSTANDING AAMIN AL MALIK
I don't think he meant to be completely submissive and blindly agree to whatever ur man says. I think it's more of having to pick and choose ur battles. If it's insignificant it might be a wiser choice to let him make a mistake than start something. I feel it would be better in the long run.
I don't want my wife to treat me like a child!!! That's not respecting me that's disrespecting me! If I am wrong than she should tell me in a respecting manner as I will tell her when she is wrong! A woman can NEVER respect a man who are full of himself as a man can never respect a women who are full of herself. Ask your sisters or mums if they can respect a stupid husband or a man who has a big ego! I If we respect women they will give us their love and respect in return
As a teenager, hes hit the nail on point 4, a lot of men are fighting their desires sooo hard when it comes to women. Am pretty sure most of them sometimes curse the women for being an obstacle/distraction when it comes to their deen but they don't mean that =) please don't tempt men and dress modestly because It's one of the hardest thing for a man to get a picture/scene out of his head for e.g if a lady stares and smiles at you and that constantly bothers him and and makes his acts of worship to Allah very difficult with those thoughts. Majority of (good)muslim men find women in Hijab very attractive.
I'm a still a young man not married yet, but I truly ask allah to bless me with the best wife for me, and a wife that understand and implement these things, ameeen and I ask allah the same for my muslim brothers.
If my wife knew that I was driving in the wrong direction but didn't tell me out of "respect", then I would be PISSED at her for not trying to help. The whole problem with this video lies in the idea of "respect", which is clearly overrated. What one needs to focus on is LOVE because out of love will a couple become physically, mentally, and spiritually stronger. To love means to help correct your partner, and to ALLOW being corrected when wrong about something.
Why is it when Muslim sheikhs try & make lectures on how woman should be in relationships to make it work there are a thousand critiques quick to slander him but if it's a female [non-muslim or muslim] writing marital/relationship books on how women should be, there is nothing but applause. Most of what he says here is the exact same thing I've read in a book [WHY MEN LOVE BITCHES] which is a best seller in the US.
Wa Alaykum Assalam Akhi!!! Its truly awesome to hear your enthusiasm, but im sorry i havent got any such files for the matter..and i still havent got round to captioning the lectures yet. If however you do decide to manually add text in a video editor, then please send me the project file (veg, aep, wlmm) and ill have the captions done in english too A better option is to create a caption file for youtube integration, and i can sync it with this video..and add other languages too Jazakallah :)
Too many negative comments so posting this to say THANKYOU. This is a great tips video and i think many many many men and women will relate to these problems.
WARNING! Dear brother in islam, from what I understood: 1. Respect: = don't hurt a man's ego. 2. men are created to provide. = less time spent with wife and children, to get money is showing love. 3. Sex needs. = the key to make a man, feel like a man. = the key to ignore woman's flaws. But, wife saying no. = not making him feel like a man. 4. Men find all women attractive. = the attraction to other woman is without control. = use your wife to satisfy your sudden urge to have sex. 5. Romance ----> sex = wife can never criticize what man does to romance her. = reward will be sex. 6. Beauty is the attempt to look beautiful. = wife must care about her looks, to care about her husband feelings. 7. cave time: = husband cuts himself off from family for specific problems and time. In conclusion: This is not love... this is an insecure man, making a wife a silent follower. I advise EVERYONE to learn more about love from the quran and from the prophet PBUH. Thank you.
Yasmine Almomani: sister did you ever even marry? All of what he said is correct. Actually a bitter truth! You like it or not. Even western marriage expert say the same thing just in a more hidden words. He is bluntly honest.Keep your ego in the corner and reflect for a minute. I am a women and I have seen these things in both of my marriages.
For those of u who still have questions and complaints about how men should understand women, he made a video about that too just look in the suggested videos section. Hope that helped because i too was a little on the fence with some of his points in this video but was completely relieved when i saw the video about what men need to know about women.
Just so you know...women find physicality of man attractive. And if she has a husband who demands rights and knows nothing of romance, she is also struggling to lower her gaze, and stop her mind from wondering would life have been more fulfilling for her had she divorced and sought elsewhere? I sometimes think that this stamping of rights between the sexes, make for women a sense of hopelessness, a sense of her husband not making effort or giving back. And, I have heard this so many times from so many sisters, the no expectation, just the submission. Complaints that the men do not even realise that a muslim wife has a sexual identity, need, arousal etc... but that somehow non-muslim women are more sexually tuned, it is both wrong and unjust. Give what you want back!
03:50 I would be *extremely* infuriated if I learned that the woman I love and trust did not inform me or at least at minimum suggest that I was going the wrong way. That is time and precious resources being wasted that could have been prevented. 04:05 In fact, I would also be 100% ok with following my lady's directions and suppositions and it turns out to be wrong. It's not my fault, and if I'm following her it means I'm unsure of it myself. I will gladly do it dozens of times and only if each and every time she is wrong will not not trust her sense of direction.
i love my husband so much and thats why im watching this video to become a better human being. Do not let your ego control you but have an open mind. As a revert I understand better the 2 sides of the coin especially living in usa. Women can be very disrespectful to men and is true. Please sisters if you have never had a job and you have always being taking care of then you have no idea how difficult it is for a man to find a good job etc. we are reminded to be in their shoes and men are reminded to be in our shoes.
Dua for the goodness of our family , AL-Furqan 25:74 "Wa Lladheina YaQulouna Rabbana HabLana min azwajiynaa wa dhuriyatinaQurratta a'younin wa Ja'alna LiL muttaqiyna Imaama " (And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring the comfort of our eyes;(and make us leaders of those who have Taqwa.)
Salam alyukm brother yasir .. What else can i say ... What an excellent lecture you have gave ... I'm very confident, this should by now have saved hundred thousands of marriages !! I pray to allah that he accepts your lots of efforts in delivering this beautiful lecture on "foundations of marriage" as well as i pray to allah to bless you with eternal health and happiness !! All of the things u said were heart touching ... I
Zain A. Yes, indeed, but a man's ego can be very fragile towards a wife. Example: if some random person says he or she does not love you, it doesnt hurt you at all. But if your own mother says she doesnt love you, it would hit you hard, because love is something very important in a bond between you a your mother.., An ego of a man wont be damaged that quickly by any person. But for a male it is very important to have a ego in order to get female attention. This is basic biology. And if a male has a female partner, and that female partner, for which the male is most important to show a strong ego to, suddenly bashes that ego, the ego will be damaged severely.
This is all very true. Islamic marriages are great because we follow and understand these rules. We take relationships seriously. The man is going to be a father, a protector, if I chose him as a husband I have to trust him completely and let him be my guide. Muslim men are like this exactly, especially about the respect and work. Sisters, this is how males are created. Follow these rules. And you will have a successful marriage. Point #4 does not depress me. You have to understand that Allah created men this way. Women should never degrade husbands because of this, because doing so you're degrading Allah's creation.. Be good to your husband and he will never do any harm with this burden. Men are simple. In Sha Allah you can have a successful marriage.
Yeah. Muslim men follow all these rules, for a good marriage, also follow these rules. have four so-called wives, and whores on the side. you are obligated by allah.
if my husband was going the wrong way and I didn't tell him and he found at that I knew the right way he'd be pissed lol! My Muslim husband recognizes that's he not always going to be right and he appreciates my advice. I never tell him in a condensing way but we both listen to each other because we can both be wrong and right. I'm never going to let him do whatever always cause men make dumb mistakes just like women and as a married women both me and my husband understand that and we help each other to try and make the best decisions. If your always belittling your husband and are mean to him then yes but just telling him the right way to go isn't not going to damage his ego and if it does then he needs to go do some soul searching cause that's too much! I couldn't be married to someone like that what a baby! And just saying if you know the right way somewhere tell him you'd save a lot of time and money on gas!
😂😂 right. Mash'Allah you have been blessed by both a good husband and a good sense of humour sister. P. S. I loved the part of your personality I could see through this comment.
This was fun to watch, but any woman who knows a man should already know most if not all of this. Inshaa Allah may those who do not know this pay close attention. A happy marriage can be gained by following these few tips.
Hmm I don't agree with what the brother is saying because like someone pointed it out its sort of covering male insecurities and ego problems. If a man has a big ego and does dumb stuff the solution isn't let him it's guiding him. I'm a man I make mistakes and I enjoy being corrected because I learn before causing any harm or damage. The example about the leaking pipe. I wouldn't attempt to fix it because I'm a man. That is not a good enough prerequisite, I am not a plumber therefore I should leave it. I'm sorry but all that is required is a good heart, manners, love, sense of humor and no pride and you will be fine. Salam
Timestamps: 0:42 - Respect 11:43 - Men are created to provide 16:45 - Intimacy empowers men 22:49 - Men are attracted to all women 33:26 - Romance means Intimacy for men 38:40 - Beautify yourself 42:27 - Cave Time
I think everyone in the comments here is getting worked up over nothing. Yes, he is generalising a lot. Yes, there probably isn't one man who needs to be treated exactly as he's said, or vice versa. And perhaps he over-states or goes overboard with his remedies sometimes But, I think he's trying to talk to people who haven't been in a relationship before and so aren't familiar with the clear and striking differences between men and women. I think it's good advice for people who are in that position - If you start off treating your spouse like this, and gradually get to know exactly how much you have to adhere to these rules for the person you're with, there's no problem. Or, if you're a spouse who can't understand why his/her spouse is continually getting upset, this highlights some of the core reasons. Basically, his framework and principles are sound, even though the details are sometimes excessive. He's probably just emphasising each point too much, in an effort to get its importance across to people who would just dismiss these parts of their spouse's psyche :)
Salam Brother. Nice lecture overall. One comment I will make is that women do think about finances and stability and long term finances. It is only natural that we think about finances for today as well as in the future for ourselves and our families and that working together as a team with husband discussing this topic is also very important. Jzk.
AssalaamuAlaykum, MashaAllah great reminder & good advice Alhamdulillah, May Allah reward you all immensely & bless you all with the goodness of both worlds , Ameen. May Allah guide us all & make our family coolness of our eyes , Ameen. JazakaAllah Khairan.
Yup. Men have options. Men don't hit the biological wall as early as women do. So if a woman wants to keep her man around, she's gona have to be the best wife she can.
Thank you so much. Very useful. & as for the humming noise as a background music, it was fantastic. It was not distracting rather it helped me to concentrate & avoid the boredom of long half an hour lecture.
Jazaka'Allah for this, no one will come out to tell you. And just to all the woman here, we are weak without knowledge. A lot of what has been said is simple psychology. Do we become submissive by doing what the man wants? Hell no, he just has a delicate ego. THAT makes us stronger. We should all take this and use it to our advantage. This knowledge makes us equal to men.
Okay I'm single but in the future I'm going to follow everything this guy said because I first listened to the female version and it's everything I hope my future hubby will follow. This guy knows his stuff... pray I get a riotous husband so I can dress up for him lol (or not 😏)
My life changed for good after hearing and following his advice . I advices most of my believing friends and sisters to watch this video. I keep hearing it quite often . I agree with his advice . Only a true believer agrees with his advice. I request all believers who are getting married or already married to hear and follow his advice. I
@Maryiam Gani shut up fool
Brutally honest yet admirably eloquent.
Myself and my husband are non practising catholic,we were thinking of divorce after 5 years of marriage. This has saved my marriage, I understand now why he is always at work, I am by no means subservient but I consider my husbands feelings before I nag him.we now have a much nicer home environment and romance has returned
Kelly Mcnamara That is wonderful news Kelly, I would consider you to look more into Islam it will save your marriage until eternity.😌
This is still even after 8 years, the best video I’ve seen on this topic. It’s a must watch for all women.
Secondly, regarding your point on men finding other women attractive: Here are the facts : If husbands wish to be respected by their wives, THEY TOO ought to respect their wives. One of the greatest disrespects to a woman is for her to know that her husband finds another female attractive,especially in her presence. Brothers,please keep your thoughts to yourself and keep your gazing for when you are out on your own. A WOMAN WANTS TO FEEL LIKE A WOMAN TOO...You can do this by making her believe that she is the only attractive female in the world- WE HAVE EGOS TOO!
pinkchick186 I
Wrong. A wife must respect husband because he spends on her and its not vice versa. and Offcourse husband will respect wife when he is respected, he is not a mad person.
Great advice. As a well educated british woman I agree with the points raised. Will implement these points more into my life.
He is absolutely correct about everything. I married twice and I am a women. I have lived all this and saying from my experience.
point 4 really broke my heart. It's really hard to deal with it as a (very jealous) woman :'( on the other hand, it explains why hijab and modesty uplifts the Muslim woman, and gets men to respect her.
But seriously this is really heart breaking :'( understand where we come from also, women are very competitive, and it is hard to know that we will never be "enough" for our husband, that there are still other women getting his attention. HasbiAllah wa ni'mal wakeel :'(
This is th best lecture about women and men in islam I've ever heard! JazakAllahu khair!!!
Thank you! Thank You! Thank you! I am a woman and this is information that should NOT be ignored!!! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE these tips!! He is keeping it real and I am glad he was free to share this! Take it straight from the source -- Men--and stop asking your friends (women) the nature of a man! Thanks a bunch!!! May Allah increase your knowledge.
this is fucking bullshit. he's speaking as if all men are the same, which is obviously incorrect.
+Jai Laine WOW..., how utterly sad and undermining of women. The mind boggles. All the more reason to pay homage to my Mother who passed on her sense of self-worth for both herself and her daughters. Please, I don't mean to be patronising..., but look around you... observe, listen, watch the news, read a book or two and educate yourself for the benefit of all women! Many of us have a more global perspective which means having a CHOICE!
Yes, I am that wife that is telling my husband before he gets to the mistake because the mistakes that he makes would either land us in jail, kill us, or murder our marriage.. I don't know that I can whole heartedly agree for my own situation lol
I think people are getting yasir wrong. He is simply telling us how men here. He is not justifying it or applauding how men are. It is all about understanding the other
background NOISE (humming noise) is so annoying........
You shouldn't have mentioned it, after your comment it made even more noticeable and annoying-_-
Talha Temuri so so annoying
Talha Temuri
As salam muhaleikum brother... I accept the fact that you find it disturbing, but try to focus on the point of the video and not the 'side aspects'. In sha Allah, it wont disturb you that much anymore...
halima k I don't agree. If you understand the beauty of Islam then you would find everything annoying but ISLAM, if you are Muslim and makes NG this hideous comment then you will die as a munafik.
halima k
Okay,
Surah al Kafiroon:
"Lakum deenukum, waliya deen."
"For you is your religion, and for me is my religion."
Now I understand the marriage breakdown of my parents. Thank you brother!
I listen both parts of this. Truth is men and women primary needs are different but on the other hand we want same things. We just have to learn to understand each other. Both men and women. Love is the key.
A great talk for both Muslims and non-Muslims. You are a great speaker, Sheikh Qadi!
Its sad to see that so many people left negative comments. May Allah reward this shaikh, he has highlighted some main issues which create arguments within a marriage. Be it silly or not but they make sense. U will only understand when your actually in that situation.
This is very nicely done, good for a western muslim audience, and thanks to global hedgemony, the muslim audience. And he's right, a man has a place in islam just like a woman has her own place, i see no problem in not interfering with his decisions and letting him take the final shot. I love how islam, values women to be women, and does not encourage them or force them to act like men. Alhamdulillah. I am a muslim woman.may Allah inspire our men to be real manly men :).
AMIN...AMON...AMIN...YA RABBI!!!!
Your comment is very heart breaking to me. I do not know what is going on in your married life because only Allah knows fully your situation but I give sincere dua to Him to give you the peace and tranquility you deserve in your marriage. No one should have to compete for attention. We are all beautiful and unique and our husbands should lower their gaze as Allah has instructed them to then inshAllah there will be less problems. Please be happy my dear sister.
its really a great lecture. May Allah reward the shaikh for sharing these important advices
What I see is that you do understand the need of men, you seem to not understand that much of what you say equally apply for women too, with a more affectionate approach and kindness. Kindness is the key to intimacy, including healthy sexual intimacy, take away kindness, be grumpy, be critical and the heart is crushed and the desire will ebb away, till she performs, not engages. That is a terrible loss. Just be kind!
this is an honest lecture. sisters follow his advice, it may save your marriage iA
thebachu786 yes itss honest.i didnt like it but it makes a lot of sense
i wish i could put these words in a cup and mix it with zam zam and get my wife to drink it..!!...wallah, she needs it....i still love her though, but this is vital. Ya Allah show all male and female the right path and to stay steadfast & in their rights and obligations.....sister dont mind my joke please, sence of humor is also vital..!!!!
Amin
@@Kamal_AL-Hinai so having a shahadah flag automatically makes you ISIS ?
qash maz if it's their flag then yes. No matter where I'm it, you're raising their flag
@@Kamal_AL-Hinai no it's not. Delusional
LLMFAOOOOO yo yall still married>
This is very good and informative video mashaAllah. Since i am child of an environment of divorces , and i have observed three marriage relationships while i grew in that condition it leads me to search more about this knowledge. And wallahi, i am telling you everything that this sheikh said is subhanaAllah true. So you have to ask Allah so much to help you. like to respect someone, you need Allah so much to help you. and all the lists you need Allah so much and for all the things you need Allah so much. So if you feel you cant do it, yes guess what we cant except with Allah 's help. and knew that if your niah is good Allah will definitely help you. Even i am not married yet, i trust so much Allah on this. and i hope my comments will bring some of eye opening to people who read it. thank you. May Allah bless us with happiness and love and rahmah marital relationship
And women often don't spend much time to beautify themselves for their husband because he often doesn't show as much appreciation for it, as her friends do at sisters only events.
Also, what if the man constantly wants alone time and it takes over most of their time?
+ShakirahIbaad I think you are mistaken, men have beauty paraded around them openly in non-muslim countries and are often disappointed when they do not have their visual desires catered to, not all men like the same thing, of course, but all men do like clean, effort made, a good smell, a bright smile, some love make-up and his wife to dress up at times in nice clothing etc... and vice versa.
+sham star Women like good looking men as well...maybe the guy should put in just as much effort as the women. I don't get why a woman has to cater to a man's desire without discussing the needs and desires of a woman equally. He talks entirely about men without discussing how a woman might require some romance, seduction and foreplay to get into the mood. Just taking your opinion as an example, lets say a housewife cleans the house, cooks and looks good on a daily basis. Her husband comes home and she's looking all nice and great. She's fulfilling his visual desires but what about hers? Is her husband fit, does he wear nice clothes, keeps himself groomed etc? Remember prophet yousuf had girls chasing him enough to land him in prison because the queen wanted to seduce him. Girls are just as visually lustful as men; if not more so.
It's incredible to me when men talk about women and desires when statistically 70 to 80% of women don't even achieve orgasm during sex. Maybe a dude would get laid more if he thought of pleasing her first!
Farah Hafeez Yes my sister, you are so right. These Scholars love talking about the rights of men at the expense of the wives.
This was not the case with our beloved Prophet pbuh. Muslim men would do well to emulate his character, particularly when it came to interacting with his wives...
darulfiqh.com/the-romantic-prophet-how-to-be-romantic-your-spouse/
As for 70% of women not getting 'ultimate' satisfaction, that is a problem across the World in all cultures. Men should be 'linguistically' schooled, or in the very least 'handy' to have around to avoid being left high and dry ;)
sham star I agree that it is not a Muslim men problem. I think we need to stop using religion to differientiate between people. We are all human beings and prone to good and bad behavior. The problem is when we try to use religion as an excuse for our behaviors. I think both men and women should try to be mature adults. I don't like this man's perspective because he is describe boys rather than a real man.
Sometimes it is too late :( inna lilah wa inna ilayhee raja'oon I wish I would've seen this lecture and got over my anger before my divorce
this is a must watch video...may Allaah keep guiding us, Aameen
maashaAllah this is absolutely amazing and to a great extent realistic. I like the fact that it will prevent me from circumstances of second guessing and assumptions most of the times in sha Allah. and I think that women and men have to come to a common ground to understand and appreciate each other's point of view and our biological psychological differences. We will honestly solve many problems. This is so logical in today's societies.
Assalamu Alaikum Everyone
ive recieved a lot of comments & msgs about the humming/nasheed in the background, please forgive me coz i cant remove it...the video was produced by TheDiscoverULife and they put the nasheed in the background: i was just compiling the series into one video for your ease..am very, very sorry my sisters & brothers, i cant do anything...plz make dua for my forgiveness inshallah, Jazaks
There are some hard pills to swallow. Mainly, I feel like this is to remind us when we forget and give us tools when we get lost. May Allah guide us and guide the Sheikh and keep us on the straight path.
Marriage baffles me to be honest. Men and women are so different. It is so. so. so. hard. to be with a man, as a woman, esp. since I was raised with mostly girls. May Allah make us capable and make the path clear. Ameen.
Peace to you all. My understanding is that this learned brother went out and did a proper research on a topic that is traditionally a taboo in most cultures Muslim or otherwise. He then mustered the courage to come on a global platform like the youtube to share his findings. It is remarkable that some people find the outcome of this research offensive. Far from being offensive, most of it is actually the brutal truth about men's and women's psychology. You could apply the outcome of this research work on any man or woman from any culture and it will fit perfectly well.
My prayers are for this brother, Dr. Yasir, May Allah SWT reward him with the best of His blessings in this world and in the hereafter for this brilliant piece of work.
Men, I got news for you...women also have desires, women also want you to take care of yourself and look good for her, and we DEFINITELY need our alone time as well. Pretty much ALMOST everything this guy said is the same for women.
I agree on all three fronts, but there are definitely things in the psyche of both sexes which are more important for each sex. For example, a woman would also be offended if disrespected, but not as much as a man would be. And a man would also be hurt if made to feel unattractive, but not as much as a woman would be.
Of course these are generalisations, and of course you don't need to treat either a man or woman exactly like this for a marriage to work. But I think these are good rules of thumb, especially if a person has no idea why his/her spouse is upset
can you guys calm down, you do realize that there is another video of him explaining what men need to know about women right
yes. And that's more appalling
No i dont agree with you at all. I mean its even psychologly proven that men and women arent the same and also dont desire the same things as much. I think that society/people these days forget that men and women arent the same in how they think(mentally). People only think that the difference between gender is physical. We're slowly forgetting the differences of men and women which goed against our morals and values. :(
Kindah : Never go out your way or force yourself to give a man sex if you don't really want to or if you are not in the mood. Men need to learn about how to be strong without sex, they need to know that sex is not every thing......
Point 4 nearly killed me --'
Jazak Allah khair for such deep knowledge brother
thank you for the information! It's very useful, hopefully I'll remember to keep these tips in mind for future references
Interesting. Jazaak Allah khair... Sisters who find this demeaning please remember that you do this to please Allah first and foremost so put your ego's aside. Allah has ordained that your husband is one of your keys to entering Jannah, as long as you are good to him and observe the duties Allah has set out for you - then in shaa Allah Jannah will be written for you. Subhan Allah. May Allah allows us to please our husbands and grant us Jannah, ameen.
Ameen
enjoy being a servant to your husband for the rest of your life only to find out theres no heaven..
I understand why men buy these bullshit but why are women brainwashed? all islam does to women is devalue and mentally torture them.. wake up muslim women.. have some common sense
this is so sad!! :(
+Goli H lmao leave our sisters alone go talk to miley Cyrus and Kim k wannabes their free right? not brainwashed at all by the TV?
Amina Alisha Amin Ya Rabbi ❤
well thats good.. Thats what God wants from us . Simple love marriage where there is difference of opinions.
I just can't sit back and let him be wrong while im in the passenger seat. lol
+talkindurinthemovie lol mean either
+talkindurinthemovie thats reality about men
he is more traditional cultural talking than Islamic. how can a wife be silent when her husband is going the wrong direction.
"Belive or not - most of man are not idiots" - alhamdulillah :-)
But really I love point 4.
I am a 22 years old female and I love male psychology. I want to be a wife in which my future husband will find complete tranquility in. and I look up to Khadija RA. In syaa Allah.
i was lucky to have the wife i had lol...she gave me what i wanted most of the time. i have to work on my romance though, i had the most wondeful wife ever.i was lucky to have her
...what happened then? :O
You are just a nice guy who appreciates people, a lot of guys have good wives but they just don't appreciate them.
moha1900
Mashallah❤❤
Menk
what happened
I love you for the sake of Allah brother Yasir. You are one of the best scholar, that Allah has bless us with. May Allah reward you for this lecture it is as real and honest as it can get. Love ❤️. Like it or not it's the truth.
Asc TABARAKA-ALLAH what a beautiful lecture for those of you who listen and disagree I MAY ALLAH OPEN YOUR HEART TO THE TRUTH AND UNDERSTANDING AAMIN AL MALIK
its kind of absurd, to say to women to not tell no to their husband judgement, cause sometimes, men' judgement can be wrong too..
I don't think he meant to be completely submissive and blindly agree to whatever ur man says. I think it's more of having to pick and choose ur battles. If it's insignificant it might be a wiser choice to let him make a mistake than start something. I feel it would be better in the long run.
Salimah ash Shadri
+×
Exactly.
I don't want my wife to treat me like a child!!! That's not respecting me that's disrespecting me!
If I am wrong than she should tell me in a respecting manner as I will tell her when she is wrong!
A woman can NEVER respect a man who are full of himself as a man can never respect a women who are full of herself. Ask your sisters or mums if they can respect a stupid husband or a man who has a big ego! I
If we respect women they will give us their love and respect in return
+Yousafzai Khan Shhhhhh don´t question things. Muslims don´t like that lol
As a teenager, hes hit the nail on point 4, a lot of men are fighting their desires sooo hard when it comes to women. Am pretty sure most of them sometimes curse the women for being an obstacle/distraction when it comes to their deen but they don't mean that =) please don't tempt men and dress modestly because It's one of the hardest thing for a man to get a picture/scene out of his head for e.g if a lady stares and smiles at you and that constantly bothers him and and makes his acts of worship to Allah very difficult with those thoughts. Majority of (good)muslim men find women in Hijab very attractive.
I'm a still a young man not married yet, but I truly ask allah to bless me with the best wife for me, and a wife that understand and implement these things, ameeen
and I ask allah the same for my muslim brothers.
If my wife knew that I was driving in the wrong direction but didn't tell me out of "respect", then I would be PISSED at her for not trying to help.
The whole problem with this video lies in the idea of "respect", which is clearly overrated. What one needs to focus on is LOVE because out of love will a couple become physically, mentally, and spiritually stronger. To love means to help correct your partner, and to ALLOW being corrected when wrong about something.
What if one only wants what they want, leaving the other one with no other choice but to walk away.
I think there are différences between arab, Asian men and western men. WHAT Hé explained is more for men of arabic or a sian culture.
Men should respect women too!
Why is it when Muslim sheikhs try & make lectures on how woman should be in relationships to make it work there are a thousand critiques quick to slander him but if it's a female [non-muslim or muslim] writing marital/relationship books on how women should be, there is nothing but applause. Most of what he says here is the exact same thing I've read in a book [WHY MEN LOVE BITCHES] which is a best seller in the US.
Give this guy a medal!!!! Loved it.
Wa Alaykum Assalam Akhi!!!
Its truly awesome to hear your enthusiasm, but im sorry i havent got any such files for the matter..and i still havent got round to captioning the lectures yet.
If however you do decide to manually add text in a video editor, then please send me the project file (veg, aep, wlmm) and ill have the captions done in english too
A better option is to create a caption file for youtube integration, and i can sync it with this video..and add other languages too
Jazakallah :)
Too many negative comments so posting this to say THANKYOU. This is a great tips video and i think many many many men and women will relate to these problems.
WARNING!
Dear brother in islam, from what I understood:
1. Respect:
= don't hurt a man's ego.
2. men are created to provide.
= less time spent with wife and children, to get money is showing love.
3. Sex needs.
= the key to make a man, feel like a man.
= the key to ignore woman's flaws.
But, wife saying no.
= not making him feel like a man.
4. Men find all women attractive.
= the attraction to other woman is without control.
= use your wife to satisfy your sudden urge to have sex.
5. Romance ----> sex
= wife can never criticize what man does to romance her.
= reward will be sex.
6. Beauty is the attempt to look beautiful.
= wife must care about her looks, to care about her husband feelings.
7. cave time:
= husband cuts himself off from family for specific problems and time.
In conclusion:
This is not love... this is an insecure man, making a wife a silent follower.
I advise EVERYONE to learn more about love from the quran and from the prophet PBUH.
Thank you.
Yasmine Almomani: sister did you ever even marry? All of what he said is correct. Actually a bitter truth! You like it or not. Even western marriage expert say the same thing just in a more hidden words. He is bluntly honest.Keep your ego in the corner and reflect for a minute. I am a women and I have seen these things in both of my marriages.
Unfortunately some men ask exactly for what he explains :(
Not some but a lot of them :(
You are another woman who wants man like a machine, wife should follow unless can lead herself ?
7
For those of u who still have questions and complaints about how men should understand women, he made a video about that too just look in the suggested videos section. Hope that helped because i too was a little on the fence with some of his points in this video but was completely relieved when i saw the video about what men need to know about women.
Just so you know...women find physicality of man attractive. And if she has a husband who demands rights and knows nothing of romance, she is also struggling to lower her gaze, and stop her mind from wondering would life have been more fulfilling for her had she divorced and sought elsewhere? I sometimes think that this stamping of rights between the sexes, make for women a sense of hopelessness, a sense of her husband not making effort or giving back. And, I have heard this so many times from so many sisters, the no expectation, just the submission. Complaints that the men do not even realise that a muslim wife has a sexual identity, need, arousal etc... but that somehow non-muslim women are more sexually tuned, it is both wrong and unjust. Give what you want back!
observe the arrogance in the tone
03:50 I would be *extremely* infuriated if I learned that the woman I love and trust did not inform me or at least at minimum suggest that I was going the wrong way. That is time and precious resources being wasted that could have been prevented.
04:05 In fact, I would also be 100% ok with following my lady's directions and suppositions and it turns out to be wrong. It's not my fault, and if I'm following her it means I'm unsure of it myself. I will gladly do it dozens of times and only if each and every time she is wrong will not not trust her sense of direction.
i'm a woman, i need some "cave time" too.
I had lots of laughter when I watched this... not because it's funny but because how true it is... and awkward but true.
Thank you so much for this amazing lecture may Allah reward you brother
Wish I could have seen this video 20 years ago, then I would've understood my husband better.
Wow how old then are you like 100
Zecariah Aden Can I please ask you not to be offensive, it isn't portrayal of good mannerism that a Muslim should have.
Carbon Based Life Form that is very childish and rude...you should probably ask how old your parents are and do the maths.
i love my husband so much and thats why im watching this video to become a better human being. Do not let your ego control you but have an open mind. As a revert I understand better the 2 sides of the coin especially living in usa. Women can be very disrespectful to men and is true. Please sisters if you have never had a job and you have always being taking care of then you have no idea how difficult it is for a man to find a good job etc. we are reminded to be in their shoes and men are reminded to be in our shoes.
This has been ma marriage guide
Thank you for the honesty it helps me as a woman understand!Thank you immensely
Peace ,
My dear sister *PLEASE* you must watch my *VERY important* videos in my *Playlists*
Dua for the goodness of our family ,
AL-Furqan 25:74 "Wa Lladheina YaQulouna Rabbana HabLana min azwajiynaa wa dhuriyatinaQurratta a'younin wa Ja'alna LiL muttaqiyna Imaama "
(And those who say: "Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring the comfort of our eyes;(and make us leaders of those who have Taqwa.)
Salam alyukm brother yasir .. What else can i say ... What an excellent lecture you have gave ... I'm very confident, this should by now have saved hundred thousands of marriages !!
I pray to allah that he accepts your lots of efforts in delivering this beautiful lecture on "foundations of marriage" as well as i pray to allah to bless you with eternal health and happiness !!
All of the things u said were heart touching ... I
I'm a guy, but my Ego isn't fragile at all...
Men shouldn't act like pussies, thats just not right xD
Zain A.
Yes, indeed, but a man's ego can be very fragile towards a wife.
Example: if some random person says he or she does not love you, it doesnt hurt you at all. But if your own mother says she doesnt love you, it would hit you hard, because love is something very important in a bond between you a your mother..,
An ego of a man wont be damaged that quickly by any person. But for a male it is very important to have a ego in order to get female attention. This is basic biology. And if a male has a female partner, and that female partner, for which the male is most important to show a strong ego to, suddenly bashes that ego, the ego will be damaged severely.
The more I watch this video,the more patient and happy I get🌝
100% agree with that. respect u a lot
This is the best advice I have ever heard.
May Allah blessYasir qadi usthad , i need this talk badly. May Allah bless you with highest ranks of heaven!!
This man speaks from the heart
Great speech By Shaikh Yasir Qadhi it is useful for human being to apply in real life
I feel exactly the same.. it broke my heart and I actually cried while listening to this:(
May Allah help alllllllllll women
why did you
I cannot believe people are commenting about how good this video is. GOD. This is disgusting.
This is great, I love this vdeo... nice one!
Please can you repost this without the background music?
no really its true...its good to know this...atleast,we learn to adjust,to keep our relationship with husband ...
This is all very true.
Islamic marriages are great because we follow and understand these rules.
We take relationships seriously. The man is going to be a father, a protector, if I chose him as a husband I have to trust him completely and let him be my guide.
Muslim men are like this exactly, especially about the respect and work.
Sisters, this is how males are created. Follow these rules. And you will have a successful marriage.
Point #4 does not depress me. You have to understand that Allah created men this way. Women should never degrade husbands because of this, because doing so you're degrading Allah's creation.. Be good to your husband and he will never do any harm with this burden.
Men are simple.
In Sha Allah you can have a successful marriage.
Haha what? Your response changed completely 😂
Okay lady..
Oh God you're so dumb... 😖
It hurts to read your comments. Seriously
Yeah. Muslim men follow all these rules, for a good marriage, also follow these rules. have four so-called wives, and whores on the side. you are obligated by allah.
Carmen T you don't know what you're talking about.
+Hannah Hurst Don't get mad because the truth hurts.
if my husband was going the wrong way and I didn't tell him and he found at that I knew the right way he'd be pissed lol! My Muslim husband recognizes that's he not always going to be right and he appreciates my advice. I never tell him in a condensing way but we both listen to each other because we can both be wrong and right. I'm never going to let him do whatever always cause men make dumb mistakes just like women and as a married women both me and my husband understand that and we help each other to try and make the best decisions. If your always belittling your husband and are mean to him then yes but just telling him the right way to go isn't not going to damage his ego and if it does then he needs to go do some soul searching cause that's too much! I couldn't be married to someone like that what a baby! And just saying if you know the right way somewhere tell him you'd save a lot of time and money on gas!
😂😂 right. Mash'Allah you have been blessed by both a good husband and a good sense of humour sister.
P. S. I loved the part of your personality I could see through this comment.
This was fun to watch, but any woman who knows a man should already know most if not all of this. Inshaa Allah may those who do not know this pay close attention. A happy marriage can be gained by following these few tips.
Mansha Allah jizak sheikh this was helpful. Insha Allah I will show so much respect my husband.
Thaaaanks !!
Hmm I don't agree with what the brother is saying because like someone pointed it out its sort of covering male insecurities and ego problems.
If a man has a big ego and does dumb stuff the solution isn't let him it's guiding him. I'm a man I make mistakes and I enjoy being corrected because I learn before causing any harm or damage.
The example about the leaking pipe. I wouldn't attempt to fix it because I'm a man. That is not a good enough prerequisite, I am not a plumber therefore I should leave it.
I'm sorry but all that is required is a good heart, manners, love, sense of humor and no pride and you will be fine.
Salam
Unfortunately many men are the way he describes...
THEN LEARN HOW TO FIX IT
Your number one understanding Respect I have seen extreme cases towards the man! Very undermining!!
Timestamps:
0:42 - Respect
11:43 - Men are created to provide
16:45 - Intimacy empowers men
22:49 - Men are attracted to all women
33:26 - Romance means Intimacy for men
38:40 - Beautify yourself
42:27 - Cave Time
I think everyone in the comments here is getting worked up over nothing. Yes, he is generalising a lot. Yes, there probably isn't one man who needs to be treated exactly as he's said, or vice versa. And perhaps he over-states or goes overboard with his remedies sometimes
But, I think he's trying to talk to people who haven't been in a relationship before and so aren't familiar with the clear and striking differences between men and women. I think it's good advice for people who are in that position - If you start off treating your spouse like this, and gradually get to know exactly how much you have to adhere to these rules for the person you're with, there's no problem. Or, if you're a spouse who can't understand why his/her spouse is continually getting upset, this highlights some of the core reasons.
Basically, his framework and principles are sound, even though the details are sometimes excessive. He's probably just emphasising each point too much, in an effort to get its importance across to people who would just dismiss these parts of their spouse's psyche :)
Alhamdulilah i enjoyed and got to learn alot from this video... inshAllah this will help me in my future... jazakallah...
Masha Allah just beautiful and we'll explained
Jazakallahu khir brother. May Allah bless u in the earth and hereafte.
Very nice video Jazakallah Khairan kaseeran may Allah keep u happy
Salam Brother. Nice lecture overall. One comment I will make is that women do think about finances and stability and long term finances. It is only natural that we think about finances for today as well as in the future for ourselves and our families and that working together as a team with husband discussing this topic is also very important. Jzk.
AssalaamuAlaykum, MashaAllah great reminder & good advice Alhamdulillah,
May Allah reward you all immensely & bless you all with the goodness of both worlds , Ameen.
May Allah guide us all & make our family coolness of our eyes , Ameen.
JazakaAllah Khairan.
Point 4 killed it for me. It broke my heart.
Yup. Men have options. Men don't hit the biological wall as early as women do. So if a woman wants to keep her man around, she's gona have to be the best wife she can.
Thank you so much. Very useful. & as for the humming noise as a background music, it was fantastic. It was not distracting rather it helped me to concentrate & avoid the boredom of long half an hour lecture.
I agree with you zeezeebo. You are completely right.
Maa Sha Allah
I love you my brother in Islam. May Allah Taalah bless you and your family in this dunya and in the akhiraa ... Ameen x
Jazaka'Allah for this, no one will come out to tell you. And just to all the woman here, we are weak without knowledge. A lot of what has been said is simple psychology. Do we become submissive by doing what the man wants? Hell no, he just has a delicate ego. THAT makes us stronger. We should all take this and use it to our advantage. This knowledge makes us equal to men.
JazakAllah yasir bhai best speaker with best topic of today's trend
So nice.and beautife lectures.thanks lot
May Allah swt bless you and your family and thank you for making these videos. I'll pray for you. You're simply amazing!
Okay I'm single but in the future I'm going to follow everything this guy said because I first listened to the female version and it's everything I hope my future hubby will follow. This guy knows his stuff... pray I get a riotous husband so I can dress up for him lol (or not 😏)