Yes!! Our friends and family that don’t have kids are always telling us we should come to their house and I try to explain that our kids will destroy everything they love. 🤣
Years ago, a couple of my childless friends decided to host a birthday party for another friend's one year old. I literally spent several minutes putting laptops on high shelves and moving guitars to a different floor. All of their devices and valuables were at coffee table level. The kids had a field day...
Lol. Even if you think you've childproofed your house and there is no way there is a hazard left, your kid will find a way to hurt themselves in the most imaginative way.
That’s so true. I was watching a 12 year old boy, yes 12 I let him and his brother go outside while I went to the bathroom and by the time I came out he was holding his bloody leg. I was in the bathroom for 2 minutes. And he, in that time, had gotten on his bike, and fallen off the curb and gashed his leg. 🙄. I was babysitting them because he isn’t trusted to be left alone with his 9 year old brother and 4 year old sister.
Monique Housdon This might be accurate 😂 I kept thinking of Trey during the whole video. He would have been so believable as the Mom. This was funny but John needs to get more in touch with his feminine side for these lol.
40-ish years ago one of my nieces put a bobby pin in an outlet. It’s not that uncommon. Back then, there weren’t Outlet Covers, like there are today. 🤷♀️🤷♀️
John is one of my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE TH-camRS! “Do you mind if he just plays in the Tupperware drawer?” “Started at the bottom, now we’re at URGENT CARE!” Haha 😂 As a clean comedian, this dude is inspirational! 🔥
@@christa526 in no way does anyone support what he did, but after releasing check your heart and going on an 8 month leave to check his heart, and then apologizing, i think he deserves a second chance. Also I don't watch him for that, I watch for his comedy.
@@jodijohnson23 EXACTLY!!! All my siblings laughed at me when i said get my niece and nephews boxes to play with (because i don't have kids). Every time they come over, what do they grab? Amazon shipping boxes 😂
As a mom the struggle is real but honestly if you are going to someone's house who doesn't have kids and you don't bring anything to entertain or feed your child with, that's your fault. Lol
I have a one year old who walks around with those in her mouth!!! I never knew I needed to "child proof" that until she started constantly messing with them 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Me: childproofs home by using child locks & covering outlet sockets Kids: play with dining room chairs, fall down & injure their arms, fall off the bed, hit their forehead with the doorknob, slip on a small drop of water
At my old rental home, there were a couple of times that my neighbor asked me to watch her kid while she went grocery shopping (I am super not a kid person). her daughter would always complain about how boring my house was, because I didn't have any kids snacks, board games, or toys.I secretly kept it that way so that she wouldn't want to come over very much LOL
“Suffocation, no breathing!” Nice song, bro! And my 10 year old am has done more damage to our house than the house could do to him. He tests the boundaries of everything.
God has blessed you John! We sat down as a family and prayed that you would be used by Him for His glory. He is faithful. He is our Sar Shalom 🙏🏼🙌🏼🎶 continue to read His Word. In His Grace and mercy we walk talk and have our being. Look up ! Luke 21
Had young kids at my house recently who wanted to fiddle with everything in sight and look for more. Suddenly I was thinking like the "mom" in this video LOL
My friend had a baby late in her early 40s, after her second marriage, it still could happen for some women... Anyway, the way she would talk to her little son was so annoying, she would talk to him like an adult, "I don't understand what you're saying, you need to be clear with your words and crying is unneccsary, Koa, She's Hawaiian and Japanese-American, so she named him Koa. She never raised her voice, she would let him scream if the raisins were touching the cheese crackers in a snack plate she made him, he demanded they be put in separate plates, and she would just say, Oh Koa, I'm sorry, I forgot to do that for you honey. Or she would tell him, use your quiet voice honey when you're mad, you're too young to get mad and he would run off screaming. She just sat their laughing, "isn't he the cutest"?! Her husband would be the one to put his foot down and discipline their kid, it never challenged their marriage in disagreeing how to raise their kid, but I couldn't visit her anymore because of her son's constant tantrums. He was just spoiled, but now he's an out standing student in middle school, already knows how to play a couple instruments, very respectful to his parents and when I visit them, before the pandemic, Koa alway's gave me a big hug, calls me Auntie, and even offers me something to eat or drink! My friend does look tired though! Lol
You're my FAVORITE comedian!!!!😎 Hey NASHVILLE pic on the wall!!!?? That's where im at! Woot wooooot! Small world. BUT U SIR JOHN ARE SIMPLY.....THE BEST!!!!
Raised two kids on the, "Houseproof your child" method. So much easier when their curiosity was satisfied and they learned the boundaries instead of having no boundaries because everything was made childproof for them. Yes, I got a lot of weird looks and helpful critiques that I already considered and tweaked. Biggest complaint was both grandmothers (neither interacted with the other) insisting that my five year old required a top for the sippy cup (yes, their house, their rules but even in an empty kitchen they were enforced) even though they've been going without since the age of 2 (my house, I don't care where they spilled, they cleaned it up and learned not to spill.) Yes, very devastating accidents can happen when you turn your attention away for even a minute but living in fear of that inhibits growth and exploration. Just be ready with a first aid kit and direct emergency numbers just in case and train child to navigate the major hazards without accident with direct supervision so panic doesn't set in when attention on kid is broken.
LOL, this made me remember the time when my bf and his wife showed up for dinner. The wife shows up early and says husband and kid on the way and proceeds to childproof my home. She put all child -level-breakable items in the closet and brought her own outlet covers, it was freakin hilarious. Apparently out of all our friends, ours was the most kid unfriendly as it looks like a museum filled with TONS of breakables.
My friend's mum, (yes, we spell it that way), has a story of a conversation with a nervous nelly parent who was complaining that the house wasnt child-proof. The response - "you child proofed your house.... But I house-proofed my child".
The Tupperware thing is true! I don’t have toys in my house anymore but I let little kids play with Tupperware, whisks, spatulas, spoons and pans. No lit candles or lighters ever! Totally works! All totally safe!
This reminds me of my neighbour - a dad, not a mom - and why he is no longer welcome at my house! He caused more damage (to both my home and our friendship) with his constant rearranging and demands than any kid ever has!
I like how he is worrying about every possible thing but yet he encourages the kid to play with golf balls that that kid is sure to try to stuff in its mouth
Seriously. If Spiderman, Godzilla, and Houdini had a child, he would be characteristically similar to my son---who can't even talk yet. No one warned me of this potentiality.
I SO get it~My Son would have been an only child if we had him first because Gregory WIPED us out, lol, although it was also too much fun💙:) Once our very active boy started walking/running at 10 months, he never, ever slowed down again...Now he is a Rock-Climber🧗♀️!! Thank goodness his older Sissy was much calmer before little Bro came along🤪, plus she was 4 years older which helped quite a bit:) ENJOY your sweet "Houdini" because before y'all know it, he will be marching down the aisle at college graduation with Daddy and Mommy crying😭❣!!
@@mionrugheart2340 The "problem" is that they are so adorably PRECIOUS that we decide to maybe have one more, even with being beyond exhausted as new Parents of little ones😴😪~ I would have even wanted a 3rd except had developed Lupus and was simply not medically advisable; plus, we already felt super BLESSed with out two "Gifts from Above🌠"!! Is your BUSY first a Sweet Boy💙 or Beautiful Girl💖, how old now, and may I ask his or her name??
@@hollyfisher8811 Oh,sorry about the lupus.And I guess they were right when they said,we do forget.But sometimes ,stuff happens.I have a 4 year old boy, Manuel.
As a mom of 2 toddler boys, I'm more concerned about the damage my kids will do to your home, then what damage your home will do to my kids.
Yes!! Our friends and family that don’t have kids are always telling us we should come to their house and I try to explain that our kids will destroy everything they love. 🤣
I'd like to be invited again! Please don't shut me out of your life non-child having person pleeeaasseee! That's how I felt :-)
Our oldest LOVED those spring door stops. He'd flick itvfor hours. I cleaned it & super glued it on & let him play.
Years ago, a couple of my childless friends decided to host a birthday party for another friend's one year old. I literally spent several minutes putting laptops on high shelves and moving guitars to a different floor. All of their devices and valuables were at coffee table level. The kids had a field day...
😆😆😆😆
The cardigan is what made this video 100% 😂
Fact
Why wasn't John in Taylor Swifts Cardigan music video?? Missed opportunity, Taylor!
I came here to say the same. 😂🤣🤣🤣
I was literally just about to talk about that sweater lol 😂
Just stay home!!!!!
Lol. Even if you think you've childproofed your house and there is no way there is a hazard left, your kid will find a way to hurt themselves in the most imaginative way.
As someone who worked 8 months as an assistant teacher in a daycare I can confirm this is ABSOLUTELY TRUE. #toddlersaredangermagnets
Yep. It’s called being a kid.
There is always a way
I’ve been in childcare for over seven years and this is completely true of kids of ALL ages 😂 where there’s a child, there’s a way to break a bone
That’s so true. I was watching a 12 year old boy, yes 12 I let him and his brother go outside while I went to the bathroom and by the time I came out he was holding his bloody leg. I was in the bathroom for 2 minutes. And he, in that time, had gotten on his bike, and fallen off the curb and gashed his leg. 🙄. I was babysitting them because he isn’t trusted to be left alone with his 9 year old brother and 4 year old sister.
“Oh a decorative ladder, how cute. Started from the bottom, now we’re at urgent care.” 😂😂😂
He wouldn’t survive in a Hispanic household. We don’t childproof anything. Only the strong survive lol
Just take them on the mission trips young, they'll figure it out and maybe become bilingual!
😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄 So true.
I’m not Hispanic but it’s the same here 🤣🤣🤣
Right! Sana sana works great 🤣
Jackie Sampieri and when all else fails, vapor rub to the rescue.
Honestly he manages to capture the essence of people so perfectly
Emi Man
@@Emi-sb4qd i was not aware of this detail my apologies
I think the same of Trey Kennedy whenever he does his "girls in" videos😂
"Suffocation, no breathing... this whole house is a papa roach song". lol, nice.
Dark! 😅
Hysterical
🤣
best part
Did get the joke until I read this comment
It was so nice of Trey to let you borrow a sweater.
Monique Housdon This might be accurate 😂 I kept thinking of Trey during the whole video. He would have been so believable as the Mom. This was funny but John needs to get more in touch with his feminine side for these lol.
Joy Jewel pretty much. Trey has that on lock. I forget that’s it’s a grown man with facial hair.
Monique Housdon Exactly! No wig or shave needed and he would have had us all believing that he gave birth to that baby 🤣
@@joyjewel748 SAME! i kept thinking of the sweater and facial hair!
John’s sister: drops kid off at John’s house
John: I have an idea, kid.
Niccce! 😂
When you don’t have any kids and your nephews come over.....
😂😂😂😂
Lol same dude
Aunt MoMo can I have this juice? Sure kid.
It was Captain Morgans marguarita mix.
Maureen Compoli oh dear 😂
My nephew learns something every day! lol
he’s trying to put the keys INTO THE OUTLET
40-ish years ago one of my nieces
put a bobby pin in an outlet.
It’s not that uncommon.
Back then, there weren’t Outlet Covers,
like there are today. 🤷♀️🤷♀️
Nan ‘59 i did this yesterday with my phone charger in the dark and shocked myself.
My dog decided to lick an outlet a few months ago .. he jumped across the kitchen and didn't do that again, lol.
Destiny Burns yikes! Poor pup!
Glad pup is okay!!
@@LouisVDon i've done that soo many times
That poor child was probably so confused as to why "uncle John" was talking to literally no one. 😂😂😂
Well there was the camera person at least 😁
John is one of my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE TH-camRS! “Do you mind if he just plays in the Tupperware drawer?” “Started at the bottom, now we’re at URGENT CARE!” Haha 😂 As a clean comedian, this dude is inspirational! 🔥
😂 “suffocation, no breathing.” This whole house is a Papa Roach song! Hahahahahahaha!
Right?! 😝
@@christa526 thank you, we are aware of this situation already.
@@christa526 in no way does anyone support what he did, but after releasing check your heart and going on an 8 month leave to check his heart, and then apologizing, i think he deserves a second chance.
Also I don't watch him for that, I watch for his comedy.
@@boxermom9 and we know what forgiveness is.
1:54 "Exposed toilet paper? We get it, you're rich." HAH, especially in 2020!
Too funny too true!🤣
*"This whole house is a scene from Home Alone"*
"Caleb, come chew on this, it will hold you over till your next meal" 🤣
Kids like remote controls, but if you buy them a toy one they'll play with it for like 5 seconds
Too true! Also, don’t get kids expensive toys. Just buy a box that those toys would have come in and let them play with that.
Cause things are no fun to a child unless they're hearing "No, Stop, Don't touch that, Get that away from him"! while playing with it 😁
Simple. Take the batteries out of the real remote and wire the toy one for the TV
Jodi Johnson AMEN
@@jodijohnson23 EXACTLY!!! All my siblings laughed at me when i said get my niece and nephews boxes to play with (because i don't have kids). Every time they come over, what do they grab? Amazon shipping boxes 😂
As a mom the struggle is real but honestly if you are going to someone's house who doesn't have kids and you don't bring anything to entertain or feed your child with, that's your fault. Lol
Exactly! I did day care out of my house for fifteen years so my house was always kid friendly 😆
"This whole house is a Pappa Roach song" priceless!!!!
xD
Welcome back John! So glad you’re back!!
The door stopped thing! When I was in time out when I was younger! I played with that lol
I have a one year old who walks around with those in her mouth!!! I never knew I needed to "child proof" that until she started constantly messing with them 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Can we talk about how GREAT of an actor this child is??? 😱
I didn't even realize some of those were dangerous, this makes my parents sound like terrible ones.
I'm so happy to see you back at it... prayers for continued recovery, John. You were missed
Where was he?
@@debbiehocking8047 he had a issue with a woman he knew
@@x35mmman That's putting it lightly. I am glad he is back. Hopefully he got some counseling for his issues.
@@x35mmman multiple women had issues with him lol
@@daltonbrasier5491 I thought it was only one that the issue was with. I be happy if you can point to the information you read. Have a great day
I love John crist he is absolutely amazing
Welcome back John! Your comedy has been missed! keep up the good work. May God keep you in His love and will!
So glad he’s back
"who architected the house" As an architect, this is my new favorite line. 😂😂😂
It's SO good to see you back! Praying you are feeling better
Glad to see you back making videos again Mr. Crist.
Me: childproofs home by using child locks & covering outlet sockets
Kids: play with dining room chairs, fall down & injure their arms, fall off the bed, hit their forehead with the doorknob, slip on a small drop of water
Uses the kitchen drawers as stairs, climbs on cabinet & eats half a bottle of homeopathic teething tablets. All I did was go to the bathroom!
Jumps off the couch on to his brother. 🤦🏻♀️ I went to check on their 7 week old sister who was crying.
@@susancnw59 oh Lordy 😂😂
@@susancnw59 did you child proof all the kitchen drawers? Cause that’s usually what people do now but don’t know about back awhile back
Was Caleb the kid that didn’t get the spot on the basketball team to DeAndre
😂 yesss
Lol I was thinking the same thing 😅😅😅
Only true John Crist fans know what that means!! #Johnsquad
😂😂😂😂
Yesssss 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Good to see vids coming back out John. Miss ya brother. Much love.
So glad John is making more comedy videos!!!!! We need his humor!!!😂🤣😂🤣😂
Who left a toddler under your care???!!!
😂
Live your videos! Thanks for sharing! 💕
See here's the thing uncle John has no kids. Why would he have things for kids
At my old rental home, there were a couple of times that my neighbor asked me to watch her kid while she went grocery shopping (I am super not a kid person). her daughter would always complain about how boring my house was, because I didn't have any kids snacks, board games, or toys.I secretly kept it that way so that she wouldn't want to come over very much LOL
“Suffocation, no breathing!” Nice song, bro! And my 10 year old am has done more damage to our house than the house could do to him. He tests the boundaries of everything.
do you want me to call the cops NOW or when your carpet is on fire?
This is just John flexing his new house
Flexing or turning it into a tax write-off 🤣
The cardigan ties it all together 😂
Glad to see you back mate!! Need the laughs and joy
Love how John is just roasting himself with every line haha
🤣🤣🤣🤣Love John! He's the best!🤣🤣🤣🤣 The golf balls🏌️♂️
God has blessed you John! We sat down as a family and prayed that you would be used by Him for His glory. He is faithful. He is our Sar Shalom 🙏🏼🙌🏼🎶 continue to read His Word. In His Grace and mercy we walk talk and have our being. Look up ! Luke 21
Creepy
The clips in between of the kid playing with the golf balls was the best part
Had young kids at my house recently who wanted to fiddle with everything in sight and look for more. Suddenly I was thinking like the "mom" in this video LOL
My son never fiddled with anything that didn't arrive with him wherever we went.
We also never went anywhere 🤣
So true. My son gets into everything. Welcome back brother!
He needs to do a “millennials disciplining their kids in 2020”
True sadly that video would be too short because millennials don’t discipline their kids. I know that as a babysitter.
He could make fun of their feeble attempts to discipline maybe 🤷🏼
There would be no video… Because they don’t discipline
My friend had a baby late in her early 40s, after her second marriage, it still could happen for some women... Anyway, the way she would talk to her little son was so annoying, she would talk to him like an adult, "I don't understand what you're saying, you need to be clear with your words and crying is unneccsary, Koa, She's Hawaiian and Japanese-American, so she named him Koa. She never raised her voice, she would let him scream if the raisins were touching the cheese crackers in a snack plate she made him, he demanded they be put in separate plates, and she would just say, Oh Koa, I'm sorry, I forgot to do that for you honey. Or she would tell him, use your quiet voice honey when you're mad, you're too young to get mad and he would run off screaming. She just sat their laughing, "isn't he the cutest"?! Her husband would be the one to put his foot down and discipline their kid, it never challenged their marriage in disagreeing how to raise their kid, but I couldn't visit her anymore because of her son's constant tantrums. He was just spoiled, but now he's an out standing student in middle school, already knows how to play a couple instruments, very respectful to his parents and when I visit them, before the pandemic, Koa alway's gave me a big hug, calls me Auntie, and even offers me something to eat or drink! My friend does look tired though! Lol
Jeanette Marie Well that’s a rarity. Children that behave like that when they are little hardly ever grow up to be respectful.
He actually scared me when the kid was 6 inches from the active paper shredder
2:34 I legitimately forgot John was playing both characters & thought this was a different person
I missed these videos. Welcome back John!
Hi!!! This was hilarious!! I missed your videos. Also, this is so spot on.
I am so glad you are back! This is awesome!
Who let you have their child!!!!! 🤣🤣😮
I’m so glad he’s back and making videos 😂
Thank you for bringing back your comedy skills especially during Quarentine
The fact that he dressed for the part means everything 🤣
You're my FAVORITE comedian!!!!😎
Hey NASHVILLE pic on the wall!!!?? That's where im at! Woot wooooot! Small world.
BUT U SIR JOHN ARE SIMPLY.....THE BEST!!!!
“You have a lit candle on white shag carpet. Do you want me to call the cops now or wait until your couch is on fire?” 🤣🤣🤣 So relatable!
Raised two kids on the, "Houseproof your child" method. So much easier when their curiosity was satisfied and they learned the boundaries instead of having no boundaries because everything was made childproof for them.
Yes, I got a lot of weird looks and helpful critiques that I already considered and tweaked. Biggest complaint was both grandmothers (neither interacted with the other) insisting that my five year old required a top for the sippy cup (yes, their house, their rules but even in an empty kitchen they were enforced) even though they've been going without since the age of 2 (my house, I don't care where they spilled, they cleaned it up and learned not to spill.) Yes, very devastating accidents can happen when you turn your attention away for even a minute but living in fear of that inhibits growth and exploration. Just be ready with a first aid kit and direct emergency numbers just in case and train child to navigate the major hazards without accident with direct supervision so panic doesn't set in when attention on kid is broken.
I often have nightmares where an overprotective parent would come to my house
It’s been a long time since I had a toddler but I don’t remember being offended when people didn’t child proof their house for my kids.
I love how he talks about babies putting things in their mouth then proceeds to give them golf balls lol
The funniest part of the video is that John is playing the part of "MOM" LOL
Glad to see you back!
LOL, this made me remember the time when my bf and his wife showed up for dinner. The wife shows up early and says husband and kid on the way and proceeds to childproof my home. She put all child -level-breakable items in the closet and brought her own outlet covers, it was freakin hilarious. Apparently out of all our friends, ours was the most kid unfriendly as it looks like a museum filled with TONS of breakables.
Hahaha I remember those days 😆🤦♀️Also... The candle one!!
My friend's mum, (yes, we spell it that way), has a story of a conversation with a nervous nelly parent who was complaining that the house wasnt child-proof. The response - "you child proofed your house.... But I house-proofed my child".
I’m an insurance agent and sometimes I feel like this when I go places... 😳
Ever talked to a professional organizer? They have tons of horror stories on what ppl's houses are actually like!
You can tell he’s throwing the golf balls back to the kid. Super cute. 😊
When your Uncle's name is actually John
The Tupperware thing is true! I don’t have toys in my house anymore but I let little kids play with Tupperware, whisks, spatulas, spoons and pans. No lit candles or lighters ever! Totally works! All totally safe!
he’s actually makin me think these things are dangerous for children lol
We missed you! 🙏 Loved this video
This reminds me of my neighbour - a dad, not a mom - and why he is no longer welcome at my house! He caused more damage (to both my home and our friendship) with his constant rearranging and demands than any kid ever has!
🤣 That child is adorable 💕
Welcome back home John!!!!😍😘
Such a cute baby. Hasn't had his first haircut yet! I love it!
I saw the title and knew this was going to be amazing
“Plastic bags suffocation” dead 🤣🤣🤣
That little guy is sooooo cute 🥰
this mom's idea of a safe house is an empty dark room with no windows or sockets. Literally just a cardboard box
I like how he is worrying about every possible thing but yet he encourages the kid to play with golf balls that that kid is sure to try to stuff in its mouth
And dont forget Caleb was standing on the counter
Finally......you're back. Hooray.
That was hilarious! Lol! Missed you! Enjoyed this vlog ❤️
“Suffocation, no breathing!” Papa Roach. GOLD! 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩😂😂😂😂😂
JOHN CRIST this is hilarious. And I’m so proud of you for how you just jumped back into doing your thing. Keep moving forward! 💪🏽🙏🏼
Glad you’re back. Missed ya.
i learned how to fry an egg when I was 5, I think kids will survive somehow
"Suffocation no breathing this whole house is a Papa Roach song"
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤘🏼
John! Welcome back, we've missed ya.
Glad ur back brother
Seriously. If Spiderman, Godzilla, and Houdini had a child, he would be characteristically similar to my son---who can't even talk yet. No one warned me of this potentiality.
I SO get it~My Son would have been an only child if we had him first because Gregory WIPED us out, lol, although it was also too much fun💙:) Once our very active boy started walking/running at 10 months, he never, ever slowed down again...Now he is a Rock-Climber🧗♀️!!
Thank goodness his older Sissy was much calmer before little Bro came along🤪, plus she was 4 years older which helped quite a bit:) ENJOY your sweet "Houdini" because before y'all know it, he will be marching down the aisle at college graduation with Daddy and Mommy crying😭❣!!
@@hollyfisher8811 Hahaha that's why my first is last too,too much trouble 😂😂
@@mionrugheart2340
The "problem" is that they are so adorably PRECIOUS that we decide
to maybe have one more, even with
being beyond exhausted as new
Parents of little ones😴😪~
I would have even wanted a 3rd except had developed Lupus and
was simply not medically advisable;
plus, we already felt super BLESSed with out two "Gifts from Above🌠"!!
Is your BUSY first a Sweet Boy💙 or Beautiful Girl💖, how old now, and may I ask his or her name??
@@hollyfisher8811 Oh,sorry about the lupus.And I guess they were right when they said,we do forget.But sometimes ,stuff happens.I have a 4 year old boy, Manuel.
So funny! Glad you're making videos again man. Speaking for the whole planet, we've missed you
You forgot the kitchen sink drain guard that goes over the disposal
YAY FOR JOHN CRIST BEING BACK!!!!!! So happy!!!!!
Don’t know who that baby is but he is PRECIOUS!!!!! So cute!!!!
Love how the kid was pretending that the remote was a phone. My kids do the same thing 😊
Needed THAT!
🥳🥳🥳🥳😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤦🏼♀️✌🏻💕👍🏻