@@pensonmlotshwa Being the responsible one seeing that we have savings, life insurance, encouraging umntu on the basics, a license, home ownership, clever ways to pay for kids education, reminding umntu to support their elderly mother, improving his business. I was raised by an mk soldier, retired major General, my Dad taught us responsibility at a young age.
u are very responsible & these r your strengths. however no one excels at EVERYTHING, so ke always try MATCH your strengths & weaknesses to the person u choose. Choose right.
Bafo, for someone who has never had a father, brother or even uncle to look up to for guidance. I really appreciate your videos man! I feel like I’m getting great advice from an older brother who I have never had, thank you Bafo 🙏🏽
Mine were 1) Pride 2) Due Delegence 3)Communication ( Allowed her to make decisions without the both of us agreeing) 4) Boundaries 5)self love( i put her first ) Number 5 and 4 dont exist anymore because im on a journey to put god first in life And i have so much love for my self i have figured out what i like and dont when trying to be in a relationship with someone. Im still working on myself .......
1. I've struggled with forgiveness in my past relationships. I still do... But I'd make them aware of how I process things. I'm better now ... I used to say I have forgiven my girlfriend but I'd constantly remind her of her mistakes everytime I get upset. 2. I would bottle things up... And I'd start resentmenting the girl. I don't do that anymore. I'm very upfront and confrontational not in an aggressive way. 3. I used to think that aii I'm always right. I've fixed this one. It took a few years though 😂😂😂😂 4. I had to learn that everyone is different, they think independently and their thought process is different from mine. When we'd get into arguments and if they didn't agree with me or had a different way of thinking about something that would upset me. Sometimes there's nothing wrong if we don't share the same opinion about something (agree to disagree) this doesn't make us enemies. Took me a while to learn this too but I've fixed it too.
~12:00- You should be happy u have the "ready to leave" vibe. Some of us hv stayed in relationships koz we 'scared to leave' So we "over-fix" noma seku-hopeless.
From personal experience, I have learnt you cannot work on your mistakes OUTSIDE of the relationship. The UNISA model (learning outside the classroom) has some weaknesses. I prefer the Business School model (learn current info in a classroom environment, tested per weakness). Heal alone then date is good in theory.
My biggest one that I'm still grappling with is the fact that I live in extremes, I either don't like a potential partner to a point that I'll avoid them at all costs. The other extreme is worshipping my partner which I've realised can also be toxic especially when you deify your partner to a point that you struggle to see or accept the flaws they exhibit.
~15:01 - Its very important to know whats happening in the world & to expect that from the ppl around you. However ppl will not know everything. I work with som1 good @ making money & business... but DUMB in politics(which im great at)... so in our conversations we "cross-feed" off from each each other bkoz after our debates, we both conclude the talks "more enlighented" that we were when we started.
Every mistake to be made, I’ve made. I’ve only started my journey recently into healing & becoming a better version of myself. It feels more backwards than it does forwards on most days but ay we keep trying
I’ve recently given myself time to listen to you, I appreciate your thinking. Give yourself grace, life/relationships etc. is a journey which must undertaken from the perspective that it’s not always a straight line…..what matters is the realisation and acknowledgment of areas of improvement and working towards that. My biggest mistake was the fixing part….I’ve grown and no longer do that and I now jokingly say I used to be a “clinic” 😂😂😂
First of all, much respect Penson for being vulnerable with your audience like that. Great video too. I have come to realise that anger is a big part of every man's nature. We smile and play sweet but deep down we have short tempters. Its in all of us. I embraced this and spoke to my girl about things that trigger me. She has been very accommodating and for years we have never had a dramatic fight / raise voices at each other. I am talking about someone that I am with every single day, we chat thru out the day (mainly because we share a side hustle outside our individual jobs - 7 years together). For this reason we are always on the same page on many things, as well as our feelings on daily experiences. I think this is how we can manage fights in relationships and create more peace. Know your triggers, talk to her about them. If she respects you she will accommodate you and not even complain about it. Everything I said only applies to partners who actually like each other. cos 60% of long term partners do not like each other, its just love. Love is not fun. And relying on it alone makes you see your partner as a commitment - there's nothing likable about a commitment. I hope all of this makes sense.
1st of all I like to bow down on your statement. It soo deep. I can see wht are you saying you hv been tht long with your partner. I soo wish I could find a partner who I can talk meaningful topics, my relationship they don't last at all I'm 28 years old guy bt the longest relationship I had was 1year 4 months. End most of them less then year. The last it hurts me soo bad I evn on the day I'm still searching my self myb it me or I hv a bad relationship cusse.
Great video Penson, big respect to you for the taking accountability and being honest. I'm working to do the same as I find myself in this position. Starting over at 37 is hard but grateful to get another opportunity to correct these mistakes. Respect.
Mine:1) did everything for the guy even giving him money. he mistaken it for slavery. He had the guts to still call me a bitch, emotionally abuse me infront of our toddler 2)grew alot of resentment from there and I became abusive aswell
Thank you for sharing. PROFOUND, SELF INTROSPECTIVE AND THOUGHT PROVOKING CONTENT. I respect you for being Real on a social media platform. We need more real content communicators in this life time. THANK YOU.
The danger of being self-aware and being open about it, is that it gives you the illusion that you have dealt with it just because you have exposed it.
ppl forgive me for many comments koz my brain processes many things fast. ok ... last comment here bakithi ... TIP from me: Never continue an argument with som1 whom u can see is NO LONGER trying to RESOLVE the problem but to hurt you. MYEKELE!
Mine were 1) Extremely short temper 2) Taking responsibilities that weren't mine
The short temper is dangerous…
What do you mean by “responsibilities that aren’t yours”…?
@@pensonmlotshwa Being the responsible one seeing that we have savings, life insurance, encouraging umntu on the basics, a license, home ownership, clever ways to pay for kids education, reminding umntu to support their elderly mother, improving his business. I was raised by an mk soldier, retired major General, my Dad taught us responsibility at a young age.
u are very responsible & these r your strengths. however no one excels at EVERYTHING, so ke always try MATCH your strengths & weaknesses to the person u choose. Choose right.
Bafo, for someone who has never had a father, brother or even uncle to look up to for guidance. I really appreciate your videos man!
I feel like I’m getting great advice from an older brother who I have never had, thank you Bafo 🙏🏽
I can relate bru he is our big brother. 😂
Mine were
1) Pride
2) Due Delegence
3)Communication ( Allowed her to make decisions without the both of us agreeing)
4) Boundaries
5)self love( i put her first )
Number 5 and 4 dont exist anymore because im on a journey to put god first in life
And i have so much love for my self i have figured out what i like and dont when trying to be in a relationship with someone.
Im still working on myself .......
It takes a humungous amount of courage to do what you just did, I commend you for it. Much respect.🙏🏾
1. I've struggled with forgiveness in my past relationships.
I still do... But I'd make them aware of how I process things.
I'm better now ... I used to say I have forgiven my girlfriend but I'd constantly remind her of her mistakes everytime I get upset.
2. I would bottle things up... And I'd start resentmenting the girl. I don't do that anymore. I'm very upfront and confrontational not in an aggressive way.
3. I used to think that aii I'm always right. I've fixed this one. It took a few years though 😂😂😂😂
4. I had to learn that everyone is different, they think independently and their thought process is different from mine.
When we'd get into arguments and if they didn't agree with me or had a different way of thinking about something that would upset me. Sometimes there's nothing wrong if we don't share the same opinion about something (agree to disagree) this doesn't make us enemies. Took me a while to learn this too but I've fixed it too.
1.3.4 is so me. Yoh! 😅
arguments & disagreements in relationships are FINE as long as we RESOLVE them!
I agree with everything you said. My relationship mistake is staying too long in a relationship that should have ended looong time ago
~12:00- You should be happy u have the "ready to leave" vibe. Some of us hv stayed in relationships koz we 'scared to leave'
So we "over-fix" noma seku-hopeless.
From personal experience, I have learnt you cannot work on your mistakes OUTSIDE of the relationship. The UNISA model (learning outside the classroom) has some weaknesses. I prefer the Business School model (learn current info in a classroom environment, tested per weakness).
Heal alone then date is good in theory.
My biggest one that I'm still grappling with is the fact that I live in extremes, I either don't like a potential partner to a point that I'll avoid them at all costs. The other extreme is worshipping my partner which I've realised can also be toxic especially when you deify your partner to a point that you struggle to see or accept the flaws they exhibit.
U struggle to accept flaws because wena you are flawless?
Everything about u is pristinely perfect!?
Im just like you 😩😩. But I think social media has messed us up with all this information we get from "ppl who always think they know".
Appreciative of The Journey Mr. Mlotshwa 🙏🏿
Thank you so much Tumelo ❤
My brother you can be open WOMEN DONT GIVE AF
What a reminder to stop living on autopilot... Thanks brother 🙏
~15:01 - Its very important to know whats happening in the world & to expect that from the ppl around you.
However ppl will not know everything.
I work with som1 good @ making money & business... but DUMB in politics(which im great at)...
so in our conversations we "cross-feed" off from each each other bkoz
after our debates, we both conclude the talks "more enlighented" that we were when we started.
Bro You Really helping me in this difficult time that i'm facing. thank you for your efforts bro.
This is humbling, i commend you for being vulnerable as a man. Hope you and the mrs are fine now 🙏🤗
Every mistake to be made, I’ve made. I’ve only started my journey recently into healing & becoming a better version of myself. It feels more backwards than it does forwards on most days but ay we keep trying
Keep on trying it will never be the same. Evry step you take. Kuzodlula uzoba ilento oyifisayo 1day
@@lindanidlamini thank you for this 🥹🙏🏽
Always waiting for your wisdom...❤❤❤
Thank you so much 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
I’ve recently given myself time to listen to you, I appreciate your thinking.
Give yourself grace, life/relationships etc. is a journey which must undertaken from the perspective that it’s not always a straight line…..what matters is the realisation and acknowledgment of areas of improvement and working towards that.
My biggest mistake was the fixing part….I’ve grown and no longer do that and I now jokingly say I used to be a “clinic” 😂😂😂
First of all, much respect Penson for being vulnerable with your audience like that. Great video too.
I have come to realise that anger is a big part of every man's nature. We smile and play sweet but deep down we have short tempters. Its in all of us. I embraced this and spoke to my girl about things that trigger me. She has been very accommodating and for years we have never had a dramatic fight / raise voices at each other.
I am talking about someone that I am with every single day, we chat thru out the day (mainly because we share a side hustle outside our individual jobs - 7 years together). For this reason we are always on the same page on many things, as well as our feelings on daily experiences.
I think this is how we can manage fights in relationships and create more peace. Know your triggers, talk to her about them. If she respects you she will accommodate you and not even complain about it. Everything I said only applies to partners who actually like each other. cos 60% of long term partners do not like each other, its just love. Love is not fun. And relying on it alone makes you see your partner as a commitment - there's nothing likable about a commitment. I hope all of this makes sense.
1st of all I like to bow down on your statement. It soo deep. I can see wht are you saying you hv been tht long with your partner. I soo wish I could find a partner who I can talk meaningful topics, my relationship they don't last at all I'm 28 years old guy bt the longest relationship I had was 1year 4 months. End most of them less then year. The last it hurts me soo bad I evn on the day I'm still searching my self myb it me or I hv a bad relationship cusse.
Great video Penson, big respect to you for the taking accountability and being honest. I'm working to do the same as I find myself in this position. Starting over at 37 is hard but grateful to get another opportunity to correct these mistakes. Respect.
Self-awareness is a good start. Life is a journey and with that is a lot of work along the way. Godspeed bhuti
I love this brother❤ thanks you!
Thank you so much 🙏🏽❤
There are CERTAIN things that can ONLY be revealed to a therapist. U cannot tell EVERYTHING to your wife or lover
in the name of being vulnerable.
You need to stay single. Saw your other posts too. Nah, my guy.
16:35 "I can make mixtapes of my mistakes and risks taken"
FROM A SONG 'Closer' by Alfa Mist
Please get yourself a chest mic wired or wireless 🙏
Thank you for the content Bhuti💯
Mine:1) did everything for the guy even giving him money. he mistaken it for slavery. He had the guts to still call me a bitch, emotionally abuse me infront of our toddler 2)grew alot of resentment from there and I became abusive aswell
Some ppl they turn out to find ways to abuse other jst to make them self feel better. Bt let hope you over him now
Thank you for sharing. PROFOUND, SELF INTROSPECTIVE AND THOUGHT PROVOKING CONTENT. I respect you for being Real on a social media platform. We need more real content communicators in this life time. THANK YOU.
The danger of being self-aware and being open about it, is that it gives you the illusion that you have dealt with it just because you have exposed it.
I've never thought about it like this and I actually agree. However, it's a step in the correct direction rather than utter denial.
ppl forgive me for many comments koz my brain processes many things fast. ok ... last comment here bakithi ...
TIP from me: Never continue an argument with som1 whom u can see is NO LONGER trying to RESOLVE the problem but to hurt you.
MYEKELE!
Appreciate this video.
I appreciate you 🙏🏽
Yoh ready to leave ngi Ngena ngi bhekezela vele
i was perfect in all of them - women probably
Oh wow 😅🙈
😂😂😂
I haven't watched your content in a while hey let me binge watch
~ 10:00- Yes the car was in an accident. that is why its important to SELECT VIRGINS.
Z'thin nge nail paint my brother?
Just buy a new car .......easy