When I was a very little girl, a neighbor brought me into her home, she bathed me, she washed my hair, she brushed my hair and got every tangle and mat out. I didn't speak Spanish, she didn't speak English, but love and compassion transcends language. I will never forget her kindness ♡
To help an adult detangle their hair is one thing but to do it to a child is something very different. She will never forget you and your kindness or the sweet, inspiring words you told her.
@@notmyrealname4978 She's in a group home after her family fell on hard times. Can happen to adults too where depression kicks in and you don't feel like you're deserving of love or kindness to your own self, don't judge just because you can't understand hard times and trauma, and mood changes that are severe enough to have something like this happen. I'm an adult, my hair gets SUPER bad when my depression kicks in and I don't feel like I deserve love or to treat myself with kindness. Sad you think this is all a "parents" fault, especially when it's a TEENAGER.
U truly are a Godsend❤❤you untangled her hair but you also ministered to her Spirit & soul..I felt the love, patience & understanding you gave to tend to her needs..hopefully she takes that love & it uplifts her in every way.. You made a lil girl a princess🥰🤗💕💕 I hope she takes that into her new life..I just felt the need to thank you cuz u r amazing🙏🏿🙏🏿God Bless❤😇
going through that right now people only care about us when were kids like under 18 but once we pass 18 99.9 % percent of people wont care about us anymore and treat us good...
I love this. After my coma, my hair looked similar to this, and my sister tried, but couldn’t detangle it. We really thought we were going to have to cut it all off. When I was finally able to shower, I used a ton of conditioner and came to one of the hospital techs a bit embarrassed and asked if she could help detangle, as I couldn’t get it. She sat with me for a long time and worked until I could get a comb through it. I legitimately cried because it meant so much. I remember it and her name years later, because it meant the world to me. I didn’t have to chop it off, and it made all the difference in my mental recovery. Thank you so much for this.
God bless you. What a gift you gave her - not just what you did with her hair, but how you treated her, with such comfort and kindness. Being in a vulnerable housing situation can quickly make you feel like you’re not a real person and not deserving of love and attention. You showed her that isn’t true. And she has such beautiful hair! Do you take donations in order to do this work?
I had my hair cut into a bob recently as my hair was matted from depression. When I went to the hair dressers, she asked if I had tried to brush it all, very disparagingly and acted strangely for the rest of the session. I was so shamed and embarrassed. Thank you for helping her, you're a sweet soul, wish there were more people like you!
She sounds awful. I also have been unable to brush my hair for weeks sometimes. It isn’t like we don’t want to take care of ourselves. Wish people had the minds to understand that.
I had to get all my hair cut off due to depression. The matting happens so fast. It really was fast, in about a week of not brushing I could no longer get a brush thru it and the shame set in on top of the depression. I also have been neglecting my teeth so if I ever get better and start to care again I would think dentures are in my future. I struggle to shower as well. I havent been able to work in 6 months. I have never experienced depression like this and it's really debilitating. I have zero desire to do even the fun things i used to enjoy. All i want to do iis sleep. I barely leave the house because I think I gave agoraphobia too which is new to me. It started with the pandemic and I thought when the pandemic was over I wouldnt be afraid to leave the house anymore. Nope, uts even worse. I am sharing all of this so people can know the agony we depressed people go thru. The gal that took dare of my matted hair was so kind and gentle and that appointment helped the depression lift a little.
Aww thank you all for your sweet comments. Literally making me tear up 🥹 manic depression is real and I wish there was more knowledge about it. Wishing you all the best and thank you so much 🥰
As someone who had this issue as a child with neglect, depression, and such- I got yelled at by my hairdresser and lectured for the Matt. I appreciate how gentle you were, consistent, and very sweet and compassionate overall with her, you’re a blessing😭❤️❤️
That hairdresser was bang out of order... You were a child! What caused that matting was neglect and depression - & *neither* of those were your fault. I'm so sorry that you went through this. Negative experiences from childhood are a heavy load to carry. It's important to realise that it wasn't your fault 💖 Wishing you happiness and healing x
This is so sad 😞 I can't imagine not tending to my daighters beautiful hair 😢 I'm sorry you weren't given the same care. I hope you have healed and are not at a place in your life where you can practice self care ❤
@@georgina-a for real!!! even if a hairdresser yelled at or scolded a grown ass adult it would be SO out of line omg straight up derangement. you're being paid for a service, nobody is paying to be judged 😥
I have depression and at first I wasn’t taking care of my hair at all it looked so bad my mom had to cut my hair short in November I was in tears and I didn’t like the way I looked but my mom found pills that helps hair grow fast so I started taking them and now my hair is already close to my shoulders I love to play with my hair and now I get to do that again I’m never letting my hair get that bad again I don’t like having short hair but at least it’s really easy to take care of short hair
@@Manderz89 what pills? I've been trying to find good supplements. also as a life hack sort of, i siggest braiding your hair into pigtails or even a low braided pony. if youre struggling really badly with taking care of you hair, the braids will at least keep the hair together
So so true. You let yourself and your surroundings go. It's hard to reclaim it too but when you do it feels so much better, like taking a shower after days. It's a hard road with mental illness.
My abusive mother never brushed my hair. I learned as a nurse that kids don’t have the motor ability to get to the back of their head with a brush til age 9. Which explains why when I first went to school in kindergarten, the kids made fun of my knotted hair and said that I stunk. It was crushing. My next door neighbor, a mom herself, had me come over one day and she was able to untangle half my head by the time my mom came back home and found me and told me I could never go back over to see that woman again. She had been so kind to me, having me sit on her couch and watch TV with her. She was incredibly gentle. It was completely foreign to be touched and treated with kindness. Thank you Mrs Ysevez (so?), I will always remember you. This vid is beautiful ❤️
I hear so many horror stories about group homes, and I think it's absolutely incredible that the staff took this girl's hair seriously, found a solution, and helped her make it happen. So proud of EVERYONE who was involved in getting this girl's hair detangled & manageable again, including her!
@@BridgettheBish as Everly Nevins says below: "Sometimes life doesn't let you think about personal care." The staff can't physically force her to comb her hair. She was likely traumatized, depressed and in some sort of shock and just wasn't ready to deal with it yet. I've worked at facilities like that and most of the people I worked with really cared. But part of healing is not forcing someone beyond their physical/personal boundaries. It's impossible to "help" if someone isn't ready for it.
When I was 13, I had a phase where I was just really depressed. My hair ended up super matted and I had the worst dead skin build up. I eventually showed my mom (I was very clever at hiding the state of my hair), and she and my aunt tried to de-tangle and cleanse. They managed to make my hair beautiful again. Eventually I went to go get my hair cut into a bob, and it was the most amazing feeling not having to worry about my hair getting matted again. I feel for this girl. Sometimes life doesn't let you think about personal care. No judgement.
@@bettyjones5375 For me it was easier. Even a cute pixie cut. Requires very little brushing. The shorter the hair, the less care it needs in terms of styling or combing. Also easier to wash. As I say, in my personal experience, chopping my hair off was the best choice. It can always grow back once a person is on the road of recovery. 💗
@@deerhive Hence why I was talking about myself and my experience. It was a phase in my life due to various circumstances. Not to mention the context in which I used it is completely different to what you're implying.
@@everlynevins I see, I just think using the word "depression," which is actual mental illness, shouldn't be used to describe a state or feeling anymore as it implies it's just a simple state of mind but I believe I get what you're saying
Absolutely. I was in a group home and I caught lice. They sent me into the bathroom with scabies cream and told me to figure it out. Didn’t help me apply it, comb it, nothing.
Watching and learning from you saved my daughters long hair this morning!! She wrapped a comb into it and she came down crying. I thought, at first, I was going to have to cut all her hair off. Instead I took a deep breathe and channeled my inner Hadassa. I got out wire cutters for the comb, leave in conditioner, and a rat tail comb. I slowly picked the hair until I could move it enough to cut chunks of the comb away. After 45 mins of comb cutting,I got it all out. I was left with a tightly knotted chunk of hair that was so tight it was touching her scalp. I slowly used the rat tail comb to pick small bits and broke up the large knot. About another 45 mins, and her hair was brushed out!! You are not only an amazing stylist and person. You are also an amazing teacher!
@@love518salon I'm also a foster and adoptive mother. We've closed our home now, because we have 7 kids and my cancer is back, but I still do outreach with teenagers. The change you made in this child is so palpable. People see these kids and think they are no good because they don't have a "good" family, their clothes may not be great, or their behavior is not great. They are just kids though. You broke through some real walls in her emotional barriers. I'm crying just typing this. Thank you so much.
@@MSANTHR0P3 I am sorry to hear you have had cancer and that it has returned. I hope you are surrounded with love and support. I always ask if it is ok to pray for someone. If you would like me to, just let me know.
As someone who had this issue as a child due to neglect, depression, and my own tenderheadedness, from the bottom of my heart thank you for what you've done for this girl. Not only for doing it with as much gentleness as it can be, but for boosting her up and also giving her a MANAGEABLE LENGTH due to her wishes after it was done. So many stylists only ever cared what my mother wanted and what they projected onto my hair no matter how hard it was on me, and it hurt my self esteem and sense of autonomy horribly and thanks to many years of having my hair ripped out when it was finally too unpresentable to her, to the point I was even afraid of brushing at all, until the day I was finally able to get it cut. She will never forget you.
Same. My mother cruelly always made me keep my hair long (it was past my butt) but she never wanted to comb or wash my hair so it was always severely matted and had lint in it. I was also tenderheaded. It was miserable and I was made fun of in school because of it. It was such a weight off my shoulders when I finally cut it off. Now I cut it into a short Bob when it reaches my elbows.
This is beautiful! At the hospital I worked, we were the assigned Covid Unit for 2 years, I had a pt who came from ICU, she had matted hair this bad. Took almost 6 hours of my 12 hour shift to detangle her hair. I found oil worked best. I couldn't believe it was down past her buttocks. Took her 16 years to grow, so I know that feeling when helping a lady get herself back! Thank you for all you do xo
Thank you for treating that baby with respect. When I was 11, my mom stopped taking care of me. At 12, she decided to take me to a stylist who was just as kind and patient as you were. What you do is so important and Im so glad this video was recommended to me ♥
Well, you can't brush your hair when you are 11 or what? Why have to so depend on mom, even on brushing? When im at 11, i even know to cook for myself because my mom is working so hard to earn some money to feed and pay the bills. Stop blame everything but not yourself.
@@UlalaGo I mean they have a good point. You don't need your mom to brush your hair for you at 11 years old. If she stopped taking care of you, why would she have spent the money to go to a stylist? It more often than not is pretty expensive, especially spending hours of work like they did on this girl's hair.
@@adw6894 Sometimes parents don't teach their children basic skills. I had a cousin whose mom would still bathe him well into his teens. My boyfriend had no idea how to take care of his curly hair and his parents refused to teach him because they wanted him bald. I ended up teaching him even though I don't have curly hair. It just happens.
I'm a dog groomer & KNOW what matted hair is like to work with. So hard on the hands & body but these ladies did the most incredible work 👏 her hair is thick & beautiful 🥰
as a disabled adult, i used to have an incredibly hard time brushing my hair thoroughly as a kid. as i grew older i realized it would be easier to keep i shorter, and so i got it cut short. best decision of my life. i now keep it buzzed down most of the time
One time when I was 13 I had really baaaaad tangled hair. Maybe not as bad as this but really close to it. My hair was starting to be matted. I was staying with my dad for an extended period of time when I was used to my mom brushing my hair all the time. It was during Christmas vacation. Everyone kept making fun of me for it when I was just going through a tough time and I didn’t feel like brushing my hair. I finally untangled everything by myself. Spent at least an hour conditioning my hair in the shower. I finally did it, but it wasn’t an easy feat. It hurts and it is so frustrating when you try to detangle hair like this!! Amazing work
9:07 almost made me CRY. you made this girl feel so welcomed, safe, and hopefully worth it. you treated her with SUCH kindness and compassion, from the pizza party to the countless assurances that she can do and be anything
This poor lass has trauma most of us cant imagine. I'm so glad the support workers at the group home brought you together. I hope she and her mum get the support they deserve to be together in a safe, secure home soon. Thank you for making a difference in her life 💕
i wish all support homes were like this. sadly, there are terrible stories and some simply lack funding. we need to do better in making sure we provide well for such unfortunate children.
as an adult who recently tested in range for aspergers, it crossed my mind it's possible she's got undiagnosed issues such as autism maybe? I feel for kids in the system, deeply. And to have undiagnosed issues you have to mask just adds to the challenges. Thanks to this hairdresser and her coworkers/friends for caring for her so beautifully. Autism until recently was studied only in the context of how it affects males. So females never fit the profile because they are brought up very differently. Society has very specific, sometimes strict, requirements for girls and women regarding dress, behavior, interests, and expression. Today it is thought that instead of the ratio of autism being 4 boys to 1 girl, it is closer to 1:1.8. Girls are still highly under-diagnosed though. And the old stereotypes remain. "She doesn't look autistic. She doesn't act autistic" Because the brainy nerdy boy social outcast is what people picture.
This can happen even in a well adjusted loving household. My daughter use to wear her hair in a low bun as a 13 year old. She showered every day and her hair was always neat but what I failed to realize is that she wasn’t always taking her hair down and brushing it out but rather smoothing the top with a comb while it was still tied up. I spent 6 hours and a lot of oil to get the matting out.
when I was a kid my mum would come and check if I brushed my hair... I didn't I just did what you kid did. She threatened to cut it all of since I don't deserves having long hair. I started brushing after that
My nine year old does brush but has trouble getting every spot. She gets this massive tangle at the back of her head under the top layer of hair if I don’t brush her hair for her at least once a week. She wants it long and it’s just so thick and wavy. I don’t mind helping her out but sometimes life gets busy and I forget to check on her hidden knots! Then it can take a long time but we have fun with it and pick a movie to watch sometimes while I work.
@Lindsay Moore This was my problem as a child! My hair is the exact same way and the brush wouldn't always go through enough and I'd have the same. They took me to a salon to get hair cut and they ended up having to shampoo my hair to get the knot out and my parents were embarrassed and mad at me, but I couldn't get it out on my own. I didn't want to go get my hair cut ever after that, not because of the person but my parents. Once they knew the problem though, my mom had to do the same and help me with my hair. Eventually they realized my brush bristles we're too short. So thank you for helping her brush that out and avoid the situation I went through.
What you do is so important. Thank you! For a 13 year old to stop brushing their hair and let things get so bad you know she has to be hurting so bad inside. Poor girl, I hope she's doing a bit better and is getting the help she needs. Thank you again for what you do. 💖💖💖
U don't even think about it .that mother figure is so m.i.a ur just dealing through life and consistent mental stressers. These types abuse lead to bad adult choices . I hope she stays humble and true to her energy. These women have probably thought her so much in this scenario especially now she's puberty age. I know embarrassingly this happened to me from very toxic alcohol mom..gives me tears to see this ❤
It's pretty profound, when you think about it. Instead of cutting her hair off and making her start from zero, they salvaged it through patience, kindness, and gentleness. When bad things happen, you don't always have to lose everything.
@@leilanilogan40 have you ever been so depressed and lonely and hurting you stop caring for yourself? this poor child is probably struggling, she isnt thinking oh i should just run a brush through my hair. and we never know, its possible she went a few days and the damage was already done so she just didnt bother anymore.
@@leilanilogan40 We don't know the conditions in her home. When your self esteem slips so low you feel there is no point brushing your hair, nobody loves you, you're ugly anyway so why bother? And then it slips further because you haven't been looking after yourself. It's similar to overeating. Both are consequences and emotional protection from trauma. It didn't sound like she had any responsible adults in her life, nor any close friends outside school. It may be hard for you to understand how a 13 year old would end up like that, but that's lucky for you that you've not been in a similar place.
This had me in tears immediately. Never in a thousand years would it have crossed my mind that detangling people's hair would be such an act of love, care, kindness, and PATIENCE. You are an amazing person ❤❤
As a grown up foster child.... Wow. Love this. My hair had to get cut off 2 years ago in the hospital because of my heroin addiction. I'm 24 and clean now. My foster mom is the one who brought the hair stylist to the hospital from an hour drive away. I love my foster mom so much. And that hair cut tho I didn't want to cut my hair... Was better than the knotted mess I had. Way worse than this child's hair I hadn't brushed in a couple years probably.
I am really happy to hear that you have a loving foster mom and are two years clean- an extremely difficult feat! I’m sure it doesn’t mean much to hear from a stranger on the internet but I am really proud of you
In addition to making her hair comfortable again you also gave her the BEST gift - the sense that she is worth caring for and spending time to help her.
It was SO lovely to see how excited she was, she was stimming so hard after it all came out! You've changed this girl's LIFE, and it's an AMAZING thing you've done for her!
@renthemen. hey! Neurotypicals also stim, it's short for "self-stimulating behaviours," and it's an umbrella term for anything that falls under a repetitive motion or sound. So think knee bouncing and pen clicking, those are also stims. So yes, she is stimming. She is excited and expresses that excitement through the hand shaking as a means to self regulate. (This is coming from an autistic individual, I have a very dense relationship with stimming, and I also have tourettes, which can present similarly in some cases. So yes, I do know that not everything is stimming.)
Hair plays such an important part to our self-esteem, whether people admit it or not. So the fact that this girl went through so much in her life and was treated with respect, love, and compassion while getting her hair de-matted is so heartwarming to see. I really hope she's doing well ♥️
As a teen in psych hospital I stopped brushing my hair for a while. It got really matted. One of the staff sat down with me one evening and brushed and untangled it for me. I wasn’t very comfortable with most people touching my hair but she made me feel comfortable and cared for. Thank you to that staff member and thank you Love518 for such moments of tenderness 💚
You will be repaid for the DIGNITY you allowed this baby girl. She will never forget how you taught her all this and were so GRACEFUL. 😭😭😭😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
I love how much care you put into keeping her identity anonymous 🖤🖤🖤 really shows that you understand how sensitive and difficult this kind of trauma can be. Nobody wants to be recognized in that state- and you are amazing to make her feel like her beautiful and best self is the only self that people will remember.
Being in a group home means she's in the foster care system. I know if you're fostering children you're not allowed to show their faces on social media. I don't even think they're allowed to have their own accounts. I guess that carries to this situation too. Or maybe she was just being considerate, but I don't think most people would think that in depth. The girl probably knew she wasn't supposed to be on social media and told the hairdresser if I had to guess.
@@mirrors8913 as a former foster child and someone who was in a group home and still talks to ppl working at said group homes, thEy are allowed to have their own fb accounts and whatever. And the group homes actually have picture albums of old kids who lived there. Foster parents aren’t allowed to show pics of kids under the age of 12/14 dependent on the child, then they can with their consent.
As a therapist I am so encouraged by your gentle, trauma sensitive approach to not only to provide a service but to empower her to be herself. What a beautiful transformation. 💜💜💜
What a sweet girl. She has some of the most beautiful hair I've ever seen, but I think it was a smart decision to cut it shorter. It will be much easier for her to maintain, and it's amazing that she chose to donate it. I hope the future comes much easier to her, she deserves so much peace and happiness.
my hair looked like this at times when i was younger bc my mom never taught me how to brush my hair. she would scream at me when it would get bad like this. what you are doing for this child is amazing and i know she thinks about you from time to time, you're truly amazing :)
@@daniiiakasha4711 a lot of moms have internal issues they have never worked through. They may have gone through the same thing growing up, learned to address a problems by yelling, and passed it on. There is a crisis in society with toxic femininity (yes I believe it is a more common problem than toxic masculinity but doesn’t show physical scars so isn’t talked about). I grew up with and am still surrounded by female bullies as a woman in my 30’s due to this issue. Ladies, we are more than how our mothers and women have treated us. It is possible for us to learn to be loving and nurturing even to ourselves!
I hadn’t had my hair cut or touched by anyone in 5ish years, and I’d spent the last couple years locked inside with my dissociation getting worse and feeling awful about myself. But I recently bit the bullet and went to see a stylist. It wasn’t nearly this bad, but she was patient and kind and funny. Gave me a whole photo shoot after, and I cried going home lol. Haven’t worn a beanie in awhile. Y’all are awesome. I want to do something like this for people.
Kudos to the group home for seeking you out and compensating you to ensure that this teen can have her life back. And you are truly a miracle worker! 💗 You gave this teen a new beginning and a new lease on life! 💞
It sounds like this girl has been in survival mode for a while. When a person is in that mindset, It's easy to stop believing that one deserves the kind of treatment you gave her: the kindness, love, time, and commitment. It can also feel safer to fear such treatment, but you managed to break through all that. Thank you.
As a hairdresser that specialises in neurodiverse/queer/vulnerable clientele, this is so special! I'd love to sit in for any detangling training if you do more lives :) Love from Australia !
I’m not a hairdresser, but I do get called in to help a lot of people who go in as like a sort of therapy. I talk to them and keep them company and let them know they’re not alone. Because in my city there’s a lot of stigma to be perfect. To never let the world see you down. And that’s unfair. I’ve been through so much and I know how hard it is to not blame yourself for how you’ve been treated. I’ve made so many great friends by doing what I do. And I’ve helped close to 400 people just feel better about themselves and give them the support they’ve needed. I don’t get paid for this, this is something I started when I was in high school as a nonprofit with my neighbor who is a social worker and got permission and got me certified
You’re such a wonderful person. We tend to believe that being a preteen/teenager is so easy. The truth is it’s one of the hardest times for us. We’ve got hormones going through us, school, friends, and bullies. Then add living in a group home and dealing with adult situations makes it harder. You made it life easier for her and gave her the love, attention, and compassion she needed.
Omg the way you talk to her. Bless your heart. You know that child is going to grow up and ALWAYS remember the impact you had on her. Not just because of the hair. But hearing those words of encouragement from another woman. That touched my heart ♥️
She has the same hair type as mine, and we're similar ages (I'm just on 15). I'm really glad that you did this for her, I can't imagine what she's been through. I hope things get better for her.
This is so beautiful. As someone who struggled with depression and anxiety my entire life my hair would get so matted like that. And they would always cut all my hair off and make me feel so terrible. :(
I have also struggled with depression. Chronic & acute to be specific, with anxiety as a side dish that noone asked for. Although I haven't had mats like this, my hair was the last thing I cared about. I can understand how this can happen. I sure hope that this young lady can come back and visit the Beautiful Soul that was able to give her this gift. Shout out to the other person that assisted her & the group home. Sending Love from Mo.
Hey girl, don’t know if you remember me but I was going to fly into see you, my hair got exactly that way when I was in the hospital w Covid for a long time plus tons of depression but my best friend ended up being able to detangle my hair which was down to my waist and everyone said “cut it off” but you put faith back in me that it could be done so you see in my pic how awesome my hair is. You are truly a beautiful soul and I’m so thankful you are still touching lives 1 hair at a time. ❤ This little one has beautiful hair and our hair is life changing when we have it or we don’t so thank you again for your blessings. Truly one of a kind❤️
I absolutely loved that you guys didn’t just do your job and keep it robotic I loved that you added so much of your personality and care into her appointments with small touches like pizza party, playing movies, and especially having her repeat those affirmations to herself, not to mention reminding her to sit up straight and hold her head high I know this will be something she remembers even as an adult Her dropping her guard was a sign that you made a safe space for her
I love your compassion when working with her. Since I have autism, i still get anxious going to the hair dresser. I can tell you that you did her trauma a favor and built up a memory that will keep her faith in kindness for a long time. Never stop glowing! Thank you for doing what you do! I would hug you if I could!
My 11 yr old (au) child struggles with hairdresser, she dislikes that they talk and she doesn't want to talk. During lock down I started cutting the hair myself, and they much prefer it. But I can't style to save myself 😐. Do you have any tips for trips to the hairdresser to ease my childs stress so they can have the haircut they want?
@@aquaenigma6285 Autistic adult here! The problem is probably a combination of being unsure what's happening, and sensory issues. Ask the hairdresser to tell your child what they are doing to the hair and what the next step will be, if your child wants that to happen, of course. If your child doesn't want any talk at all, maybe just ask the hairdresser to stay quiet. If the hairdresser dislikes the silence, maybe let them agree on some music? If you're usually at a bigger place, maybe switch to a smaller salon with less people. Also ask your child if there are any other parts of the process that are worse for the senses and see with your hairdresser if you can skip or adapt some steps. For example my hairdresser used to use hair dryers on me at the end, but I hated the heat and the noise, so I asked her to just let me leave with half wet hair and let it air dry. Talk things through with your child BEFORE leaving the house so that you know the two of you are in agreement on what will happen. (Also sorry to Kathleen for derailing your lovely comment)
@@martaj7614 thank you for your response, I appreciate it. I know my child just hates anything to with their hair, its definitely sensory and the same as you, the noise of the hairdryer is too much for them. I wonder if a home appointment might be less stressful? I can maybe get the hairdresser to visit first to talk things through 🤔. Your comment has definitey helped me think more outside the box, thank you 😊
@@aquaenigma6285 So sorry I missed this! (Please note, I know you have a lil' girl so the next few mention hims and he's are generic, speaking broadly about an autistic kid) . Tips I would recommend is conditioning them to be comfortable with earbuds (noise cancelling or swimming also cancels noise) maybe if you can play music through them, do it at a soft level or one good for stimmin' (every kid has a preference and the earbuds in ear won't stop the hairdresser's job). Then, kitted with my earbuds, I bring something to squeeze or work my hands with. The worst part is the hairdresser trying to make conversation, so maybe controlling the conversation so it's the adult and the hairdresser talking and not the person in the seat. Thinking I have to mask my rocking, or trying to act right when also having the vibrations of very sharp scissors near my ears and skin is very difficult... But these things help. If your kid needs to rock, suggest that the hairdresser leaves the footway open for nervous foot wiggling and teach the kid how high he's allowed to wiggle for safety. My foot bounce thing drives people up a wall but keeps me sane LOL (Speaking of earbuds, you might be able to find tracks online that tell him a story that's just long enough for a hair appointment, and you can gamify it by saying "I want you to tell me the 3 names of the main characters" or tell him "Can you tell me what color shirt?" And he'll focus on listening for that- that's another way you can make the appointment fun. If they have a haircut they want to go for, you can take breaks every 1/4th of the way through to do Grounding techniques such as Patty cake or some other hand to hand stim that doesn't rely on words. Check in with the lad or lass, let them know how far along they are, and reassure them that it's looking good so far! For grounding techniques in summer, small cracked ice cubes are great for holding onto and letting melt to keep focused on the task at hand. Plus, it's water and doesn't make a mess. We do really well with knowing times, so if you make a game out of waiting (IE: Alright, the first break he gets a sticker, second break he gets to look at ice cream flavors and pick it out ahead of time? Maybe helping relieve some pressure of making a decision at the ice cream parlor.. The third and second to last break could be another tactile game and hyping up "We're almost done! Last part to go!" Then the last time can be whatever jubilation or maybe offering a new play toy from his favorite franchise. Although this can't happen every time, from that moment on you can do the 1/4 method or a 1/2 and 1/2 method to check in, and he can have a way to measure his comfort zones and expectations. By normalizing the breaks, if needed, you can help ease the anxiety of not knowing how long to wait. I think for your lil' girl, the earbuds might do the trick. I would talk to her about the scissors, see if it's how the hairdressers might move too fast and poke. It could also be due to extrasensory sensations for the hair and head, sometimes getting the hairdresser to give a head massage with no shampoo can help re-callibrate the sensitivity of the head. When we think something bad might happen, just like soldiers, we get super sensitive to tactile. By dumbing down the sensory via tapping, massages, ect prior to a stimulating activity, we can calibrate and knock off the over reaction to pressure in some cases by not feeling it as pain but instead as pressure. Your girl might be super sensitive to her head and hair, I am too! Letting the hairdresser know "She's tender headed" can give them a protocol that makes it clear just as if they were working with an adult. *thumbs up*
I had no idea a child so young could get that depressed, how heartbreaking. I’m so amazed that the people from the group home could come together with you and you all care about her well-being and helped her keep her gorgeous hair. Amazing. Bless you all.
I feel her pain, I was in a group home I had hair down to my bum it was dyed black they wouldn't let me keep dying it. So it was too embarrassing for them they forced me to cut it, I had a super short haircut right before having to start a new school. I don't have the face for short hair, it looks so bad on me. So yeah I can see how this could happen
when you first see these people's hair, it's so easy to have a negative gut reaction and blame them. but as you have said, we all come from different circumstances, and carry our pain in different ways. i could say "i can't imagine my hair getting like that" but someone else probably couldn't imagine cutting, beating, and starving themselves like i did. truly a reminder to be kind.
Not even halfway through this video and want to cry. As a kid who come from the system, people who truly care are few and far between. This girl will forever have the kindness you showed her clear in her memory. You gave her much, much more than you could imagine. How absolutely beautiful. You are AMAZING.
I had some matted clumps in my hair when I was a child. My hairdresser was very nice and de-tangled it, with minimal cutting. The other hairdressers in the shop laughed at me and were talking about me behind my back. At the time I felt great shame. Looking back I feel shame for them, laughing at a child who showed signs of possible neglect. I love the lack of judgement on your channel. I'm happy to see people like you exist. 💕
her running her fingers through her hair and doing a little dance... i remember being that age and feeling so vulnerable and im happy for her. thank you for this. i hope her life gets better.
As someone who has dealt with embarrassing situations as a child, thank you. Thank you for putting your love and time into this child, thank you for helping her heal her past hair trauma, thank you for treating her like a person and not a problem. You don't need to see her face to feel how good she feels about herself by the end and that is so purely beautiful.
Bless her heart! A child her age doesn't just decide to let her hair go like that - there is some trauma/ pain behind it. You didn't just detangle her hair, you helped heal her heart! When I was around her age, I had hair past the waist long, and (during summer months) would see how long I could get away with not taking care of it before I was told to. It was 100% an effort to get basic attention, to prove anyone realized I existed - that's how neglected I felt. You showed her love, and she will always remember that.
You gave this young girl her confidence and life back. I could cry for her! She’s so deserving of being free of that physically and emotionally. You and your coworker are incredible women! Thank you so much for being so compassionate and empathetic! So much love to you guys!♥️
I love what you do. My daughter didn’t brush her hair for almost a year and it became a curly matted mess. It took us 2 months to get all done. Now she takes care of it every day.
@@romanaa7070 hats and other coverings possibly, but you also can't force someone dealing with executive functioning issues to deal with things like this, even a child. They have to do it in their own time, and there's a reason for it
im happy to hear that the group home actually tried to do what they could and also asked for help instead of just cutting her hair. So happy you were there for her and provided and calm and safe space as well.
Oh, honey! That girl's hair is beautiful and healthy! She's just gorgeous! The people who tell you to just cut it off don't understand. That's years worth of growth. And to lose that without it being your decision, that's devastating to a young girl. Instead, she made it through the fire and didn't lose a piece of herself. You are a wonderful person to give her that gift. What a transformation! ❤
Let's be real, after 2 days of that, anyone would be tender headed and their scalp hurt. You brought so much life back to her! Y'all did an amazing job and I appreciate that you don't judge because mental health is rough sometimes. ❤️ I wish her the best in life and hopefully she's thriving in school. Also her haircut is so cute! She looks so stylish!
Oh my gosh, I audibly GASPED at how amazing her hair looked at 5:10! Whoa!! I'm about to cry, you treated this girl with the dignity that she deserves and I can't even begin to imagine how thrilled and happy she felt. Bless you!
I was in a group home as a teen, and they treated me with the love, care, and kindness I needed at that time. They were my saving grace, one of the only reasons I'm still alive to tell this to y'all. The love this little girl deserves was given by this salon and group home, and I hope she continues to know that she's loved and valued and worthy of all the good things in life❤️ Sending so many well wishes to her and everyone caring for her while her family is on hard times. Community support is crucial in helping these families thrive when help is needed ❤️
You are an absolute magical creature!!! I'm in tears watching her hands go up the more excited she gets! Also, HATS OFF TO YOU for keeping all the hair and then cutting it **after** she was free to pick whatever shape she wanted instead of what "had" to happen because of the knots. The difference. The ministry of JOY! You are a saint walking with magic hands and hard work. I'm amazed and impressed.
Thank you so much for doing this for her. Depression knots are the worst, and detangling them can be an even more traumatic experience- due to the self chastising, the pain, and the shame. Can't thank you enough for this service.
Thank you so much for saving this sweet baby's hair, I'm literally in tears right now. My step daughter was dropped of with her hair matted like this as a preteen and the amount of time, energy, oil, and conditioner it took to get her hair presentable again was immense. The work it took to repair her self esteem was an entirely different battle all is own. You are an absolute angel for helping this sweet girl in some of her darkest moments, bringing a smile back to her face and instilling so much confidence in her throughout the process. ❤️
This made me cry, as a mom of a 14 yr old young lady, seeing her excitement when she saw her hair just made my mom heart happy. I hope she is doing good and her situation has gotten better for her and her momma.
This video randomly popped up on my feed and I can honestly say that you’re such a wonderful human being. Helping someone in a situation like this must be so difficult, yet you’re doing it. ♥️
I'm so glad you did this AND cut it to a shorter length in a positive way. I was so afraid it would be left long and it would soon end up in this state again. I am a former social worker with CPS and children's homes. I also had very long, thick and wavy hair as a kid. Even as an adult, who styles their hair every day. I have had to cut out tangle clumps in the back when I've been sick, in bed for a few days and didn't brush it . My niece and I both have similar hair and tangles/clumps are a battle .Thank you for doing this and helping her get it to a length that may be more manageable.
God bless you guys! As a dad of three girls (and two sons), I have had my time as the official detangler of the family. That was a miraculous job. Your compassion, love, and skill makes me tear up. That young lady will never forget that experience. You're changing lives. Thank you.
oh my goodness, poor kid. You're an angel for helping her. I'm sure she'd feel devastated if she lost the hair. Also, giving her an experience where she's not judged and she feels safe to reach out for help is one of the most amazing things an adult can do for a child
I know this is an older video, but dang!! Had this grown man in tears!! Sweet girl, I don’t know your struggles, but I pray for God to wrap his arms around you and keep you safe all the days of your life! You ladies did an amazing job! Much love to the 3 of you!
My heart aches for this baby. It makes me so sad that nobody was looking out for her. I just hope she goes on to get past all the stuff she's been through and flourish in her life.
So sorry that your personal circumstances caused your hair to be in this state. I hope time will help to heal the psychological trauma you endured. Glad your hair is finally detangled. I pray life gets better for you (and your mum).
I was just like this when i was 9-10. I was extremely neglected and depressed, and i had a matted pony tail for well over a year. When i was put in services they had to cut it all off, and im much happier now obviously. Great job taking care of this girl.
Fine hair tangles so easy! I have fine hair, and when I was a kid every night I’d wake up with rats nest, and they were very difficult and painful to get them out. If you give up on one, they’ll continue to grow
Indeed. People who don't have fine hair underestimate how easily it rats up. I feel sorry for my mom back in the day with 3 little girls with fine hair, one of whom had "glass" hair. No wonder she had the stylist just cut it short.
@@AuthenticMage I’m 50, and I still have a special detangling brush! My hair is thick, but the individual hairs are really fine. It’s a tangled mess after just a day at the office, and all I’m doing is sitting at a desk. You’d think I’d been skydiving or something, it’s unreal. Still can’t figure that out, lol!
You two girls will stay in her memory for ever! Not only did you made her hair look amazeing agan, you also pushed her ego as far as you could! She will think of you a lot, i'm sure about that! I wish i could meet such lovely and comforting wemon as you are when i was that age. Just to hear you are worth it when you are at such a low point at age 13 really can make a difference in the teens life ❤️ hope you will see her again ❤️
This beautiful woman must have children of her own, she is giving caring mother vibes and it made me tear up! Thank you for helping this young lady and being a positive role mode too! ♥️
When you said she donated it ... This brought years to my eyes. I used to work at teen residential tx facility for substance abuse. I'd say at any given time 75 % or greater were in the system..
You're so sweet. I had an accident when I was 9 that put me in the hospital for over a month and a body cast afterwards. Near the end of my hospital stay they had to cut most of hair off because it had gotten so tangled from laying down all the time. I also had developed a habit of rolling my head back and forth to help me fall asleep which made it much, much worse. I honestly don't remember being that upset about it, but I didn't have to go to school or see anyone but my family and the hospital staff. It's really awesome that you took the time to help her. It's beautiful.
I grew up in foster care too from age 5-13 and this exact thing happened to me... Unable to care for my hair, which is naturally straight and brown. It'd get tangled and matted and it used to break and falll out a lot so my foster mom's would just cut it really really short with ugly little bangs. I always dreamed of the pretty long straight brown hair like she has after detangling and her haircut at the end looks SO GOOD. that was my number one DREAM when I was 13. Y'all are amazing hairdressers making her dream come true. like it's just hair, it might not seem like much but to a girl who's been through hell like that, simply having beautiful hair like everyone else let's you feel better about your own personhood. It's why I've worn my hair the exact same length without every dying it for over a decade now that I'm not in care. ❤️ AMAZING work love518!!
This is going to jumpstart so much healing for this baby. Plus you killed that long baaaawb ❤ thank-you for your compassion and dedication to your clients
Bless your soul, all love to you for fixing her up. I managed to skirt the system but a lot of my friends were in the child welfare system growing up, and detangling was a thing we often did while hanging out. This is way more common on all hair types and all ethnicities when you're really struggling than folks realize, and it continues into adulthood because the damage and trauma is so hard to address and heal. Bless you, bless that group home and bless this young girl. I can't love you enough for this
Thank you for showing her love and giving her the dignity of not giving up on her. People will say "oh, it's just hair," but they don't realize how much outward things like this can deal huge blows to our feelings of self-worth and humanity. I'm glad there are hairdressers who will do this kind of work for other people.
You are not a hair-dresser. You are a Hair THERAPIST. I am cheesing so hard and tearing up at the same time. Never seen your vids before, but I am LOVING it. The way you care for the person, and not just heir hair is just heart-warming. Be blessed, lovely. Because all the blessings you give will come right back to you. Spread the love 💖
This happened to my hair when I was bed ridden. My mom didn't realize how bad it got. She came to shower me and after she combed it out. There was a whole grocery bag full of hair. 😢 Bless my mom's heart for trying. I should have came to you. Now I have to wear lace front wigs. I keep buying them and getting ripped off. The frontal is real hair but the rest is synthetic. I hope it grows fast.
I am CRYING! My 11 year old can get matts in her hair SO easily and I have to brush through it several times a week. It's so sweet what you were able to do for this child!
No judgement here ❤️ I have had matted hair, not to this level but definitely underneath… depression can become so debilitating to where hair is the last thing you want to deal with. Or anything for the matter. You’re amazing for taking such care of her… so glad I came across this video ❤️
Same. When my depression gets really bad, I'll go weeks without brushing my hair to the point ill have numerous small to decent sized matts that take hours to brush it and hurt. My hair is down to my ass so it gets tangled pretty easily. And lucky I can just wear out up in a bun so Pele can't tell, or under a bonnet (since i work at a hospital, having your hair covered isn't at all unusual). But it still sucks that out gets that way. And my hygeine just goes right out the window when the depression really hits. Which makes everything worse, cuz then you've got all this shame about it too. It's so lovely to see people like this though, who are kind and compassionate, who just help instead of judge. I wish there were more people like this. (Wish dental care wasn't so prohibitively expensive too, or that dentists would donate work, because I definitely have depression/poverty related dental problems. And that'll make you feel like crap pretty easily too). These women are wonderful though and I can only imagine how much being able to walk out of that salon with a gorgeous new haircut helped this girl. Genuinely life changing in the best way possible. Also, I hope you're doing well. Sending love your way
@@bottomofastairwell i'm dealing with something a little similar right now. I haven't given my hair the proper treatment (hygiene too, such as brushing my teeth and taking a shower) it needs for over two months already and I still am struggling with matted hair. i'm still wearing it in a bun to this moment and my parents haven't noticed yet. I feel like my mom has started to get suspicious already and I know that she will absolutely freak when she realizes I had been lying to her (let alone the fact that my hair is even more matted than the 16 year old welcome mat at my front door), therefore I'm constantly thinking of how I should tell her I have matted hair before she discovers it herself. i'm in a very serious mental state right now and help would be very much appreciated. someone please let me know how I should tell my mom (also help me decide whether I should tell her that this exact hair salon lives in miami, only two hours maximum away from where I live or just ask my mom to cut my hair to the point where the mattedness ends) PLEASE I beg someone to respond ASAP 🙏🙏 also, I've been thinking about detangling it myself but i'm in a mental state where my motivation just gives up. i seriously don't understand why i'm overthinking this when my mom is a literal THERPIST and is supposed to help me go through these things but sometimes I really feel like she does a horrible job at her career.
Girl I lived on my own as a teen. No matter what keep one foot in front of the other and keep pushing forward. Whatever your going through will get better. Prayers for you and your mom. Props to the stylist for doing a fab job her hair looks so beautiful, shiny and healthy. Your a gift from God.
You saved her crowning glory! Stunning! Hey, Queen Esther in the Bible needed a YEAR of beauty treatments. God bless you all 🌹 “I will praise Thee; for I am fearfully & wonderfully made...” PSALM 139:14
The end result and the cut was gorgeous!!! You are truly angels!! I remember going through severe depression from bullying at my job and I stopped brushing my hair because I was so depressed; I would just pull it up in a "messy bun" 🙄 and tie the messy bun so tight with 2 ellastics so nothing falls out. A customer came up to me one day and told me she was a hair dresser/stylist and kept inviting me to her salon to get a nice hair makeover. Even though I never went to see her (I was that depressed, I just didn't care), I will nonetheless never forget her kindness. I remember she told me it would lift my spirit up if I did something nice with my hair. I often wonder where she is now. God bless all these salon angels. 💕
i'm dealing with something a little similar right now. I haven't given my hair the proper treatment (hygiene too, such as brushing my teeth and taking a shower) it needs for over two months already and I still am struggling with matted hair. i'm still wearing it in a bun to this moment and my parents haven't noticed yet. I feel like my mom has started to get suspicious already and I know that she will absolutely freak when she realizes I had been lying to her (let alone the fact that my hair is even more matted than the 16 year old welcome mat at my front door), therefore I'm constantly thinking of how I should tell her I have matted hair before she discovers it herself. i'm in a very serious mental state right now and help would be very much appreciated. someone please let me know how I should tell my mom (also help me decide whether I should tell her that this exact hair salon lives in miami, only two hours maximum away from where I live or just ask my mom to cut my hair to the point where the mattedness ends) PLEASE I beg someone to respond ASAP 🙏🙏 also, I've been thinking about detangling it myself but i'm in a mental state where my motivation just gives up. i seriously don't understand why i'm overthinking this when my mom is a literal THERPIST and is supposed to help me go through these things but sometimes I really feel like she does a horrible job at her career.
@@2.fatducks I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time but just tell your mom. Have a conversation. Together you'll find a solution. And the most important thing is to tell her Why it's that way. Keeping depression to your's is dangerous. Tell her you need help. Most parents love thier kids and want to help them. If she doesn't want to help you then you need to tell another trusted adult like a grandparent, teacher, coach etc. Keep telling people until someone helps you.
When I was a very little girl, a neighbor brought me into her home, she bathed me, she washed my hair, she brushed my hair and got every tangle and mat out. I didn't speak Spanish, she didn't speak English, but love and compassion transcends language.
I will never forget her kindness ♡
Aww thats an great memory. You never forgot that kindness❤
💙💙💙
Aww that’s beautiful
i understand the thoughtfulness but i would be on the kill if my neighbour touched my daughter let alone bathed her!
That's so beautiful 😢
To help an adult detangle their hair is one thing but to do it to a child is something very different. She will never forget you and your kindness or the sweet, inspiring words you told her.
Tangle teasers work too
My hair use to get like that all the time when i was kid not that big of a deal my dad was best at detangling it
@@JO-sk7fo her parents should never let her hair get that bad
@@notmyrealname4978 What parents? Did you read the title?
@@notmyrealname4978 She's in a group home after her family fell on hard times. Can happen to adults too where depression kicks in and you don't feel like you're deserving of love or kindness to your own self, don't judge just because you can't understand hard times and trauma, and mood changes that are severe enough to have something like this happen. I'm an adult, my hair gets SUPER bad when my depression kicks in and I don't feel like I deserve love or to treat myself with kindness. Sad you think this is all a "parents" fault, especially when it's a TEENAGER.
As a child of abuse and neglect I PROMISE you… the way you spoke to her with such love and respect meant the WORLD to her! ❤
I'm sorry that you were abused and neglected. Hope you get the support and the love you deserve. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I have asian perents sooooooo
I am so sorry about the way you were treated. I agree this was a happy video
U truly are a Godsend❤❤you untangled her hair but you also ministered to her Spirit & soul..I felt the love, patience & understanding you gave to tend to her needs..hopefully she takes that love & it uplifts her in every way.. You made a lil girl a princess🥰🤗💕💕 I hope she takes that into her new life..I just felt the need to thank you cuz u r amazing🙏🏿🙏🏿God Bless❤😇
going through that right now people only care about us when were kids like under 18 but once we pass 18 99.9 % percent of people wont care about us anymore and treat us good...
I love this. After my coma, my hair looked similar to this, and my sister tried, but couldn’t detangle it. We really thought we were going to have to cut it all off. When I was finally able to shower, I used a ton of conditioner and came to one of the hospital techs a bit embarrassed and asked if she could help detangle, as I couldn’t get it. She sat with me for a long time and worked until I could get a comb through it. I legitimately cried because it meant so much. I remember it and her name years later, because it meant the world to me. I didn’t have to chop it off, and it made all the difference in my mental recovery.
Thank you so much for this.
Bless you - all the best in future.🙏🏾
such a beautiful story, most don’t realise how important hair can be to women and their identity..
@@mariyastoyanova31 For sure. Especially if you’re already feeling vulnerable.
@@litespeedway6538 Thank you. You too!
If I may ask, what is it like to be in a coma? I heard that can still hear, but can't say anything back. Are you awake or in some kind of deep sleep?
God bless you. What a gift you gave her - not just what you did with her hair, but how you treated her, with such comfort and kindness. Being in a vulnerable housing situation can quickly make you feel like you’re not a real person and not deserving of love and attention. You showed her that isn’t true. And she has such beautiful hair! Do you take donations in order to do this work?
Thank you for your support. We will be accepting donations in the very near future.
@@love518salon wonderful. Can't wait to donate x
cant wait to donate!!!
This girl had TRAUMA to her. You were SO good to her!
Honestly, this is so sweet. And the way she got excited when they hyped her up and did the big cut 🥺❤️
I had my hair cut into a bob recently as my hair was matted from depression. When I went to the hair dressers, she asked if I had tried to brush it all, very disparagingly and acted strangely for the rest of the session. I was so shamed and embarrassed. Thank you for helping her, you're a sweet soul, wish there were more people like you!
She sounds awful. I also have been unable to brush my hair for weeks sometimes. It isn’t like we don’t want to take care of ourselves. Wish people had the minds to understand that.
Judgemental af. I lost most of my teeth to depression and neglect, those kinds of tasks are the first to go when depression hits.
I had to get all my hair cut off due to depression. The matting happens so fast. It really was fast, in about a week of not brushing I could no longer get a brush thru it and the shame set in on top of the depression. I also have been neglecting my teeth so if I ever get better and start to care again I would think dentures are in my future. I struggle to shower as well. I havent been able to work in 6 months. I have never experienced depression like this and it's really debilitating. I have zero desire to do even the fun things i used to enjoy. All i want to do iis sleep. I barely leave the house because I think I gave agoraphobia too which is new to me. It started with the pandemic and I thought when the pandemic was over I wouldnt be afraid to leave the house anymore. Nope, uts even worse. I am sharing all of this so people can know the agony we depressed people go thru. The gal that took dare of my matted hair was so kind and gentle and that appointment helped the depression lift a little.
I’m sorry they made you feel bad, there are so many with you know that I’m sending hugs❤
Aww thank you all for your sweet comments. Literally making me tear up 🥹 manic depression is real and I wish there was more knowledge about it. Wishing you all the best and thank you so much 🥰
As someone who had this issue as a child with neglect, depression, and such- I got yelled at by my hairdresser and lectured for the Matt. I appreciate how gentle you were, consistent, and very sweet and compassionate overall with her, you’re a blessing😭❤️❤️
that‘s horrible! I'm sorry you had to go through this! ❤️🙏🏼
That hairdresser was bang out of order... You were a child! What caused that matting was neglect and depression - & *neither* of those were your fault.
I'm so sorry that you went through this. Negative experiences from childhood are a heavy load to carry. It's important to realise that it wasn't your fault 💖 Wishing you happiness and healing x
This is so sad 😞 I can't imagine not tending to my daighters beautiful hair 😢 I'm sorry you weren't given the same care. I hope you have healed and are not at a place in your life where you can practice self care ❤
Same.
@@georgina-a for real!!! even if a hairdresser yelled at or scolded a grown ass adult it would be SO out of line omg straight up derangement. you're being paid for a service, nobody is paying to be judged 😥
When you feel depressed....self care can feel overwhelming. I've been there. You guys did a wonderful job!! Her hair is beautiful!!!
I have depression and at first I wasn’t taking care of my hair at all it looked so bad my mom had to cut my hair short in November I was in tears and I didn’t like the way I looked but my mom found pills that helps hair grow fast so I started taking them and now my hair is already close to my shoulders I love to play with my hair and now I get to do that again I’m never letting my hair get that bad again I don’t like having short hair but at least it’s really easy to take care of short hair
@@Manderz89 what pills? I've been trying to find good supplements.
also as a life hack sort of, i siggest braiding your hair into pigtails or even a low braided pony. if youre struggling really badly with taking care of you hair, the braids will at least keep the hair together
@@nyct0phile The braiding will also help keep the hair from knotting up.
So so true. You let yourself and your surroundings go. It's hard to reclaim it too but when you do it feels so much better, like taking a shower after days. It's a hard road with mental illness.
@@Manderz89 their are NO pills that make your hair grow !
My abusive mother never brushed my hair. I learned as a nurse that kids don’t have the motor ability to get to the back of their head with a brush til age 9.
Which explains why when I first went to school in kindergarten, the kids made fun of my knotted hair and said that I stunk. It was crushing.
My next door neighbor, a mom herself, had me come over one day and she was able to untangle half my head by the time my mom came back home and found me and told me I could never go back over to see that woman again.
She had been so kind to me, having me sit on her couch and watch TV with her. She was incredibly gentle. It was completely foreign to be touched and treated with kindness. Thank you Mrs Ysevez (so?), I will always remember you. This vid is beautiful ❤️
I am sorry your mom reacted this way to such kindness 😢glad the time your neighbor detangled you was a great memory. No one can take that from you
I hear so many horror stories about group homes, and I think it's absolutely incredible that the staff took this girl's hair seriously, found a solution, and helped her make it happen. So proud of EVERYONE who was involved in getting this girl's hair detangled & manageable again, including her!
But shouldn't they have helped her to prevent this in the first place?
@@BridgettheBish sounds like it was like that when she came to them already.
@@BridgettheBish as Everly Nevins says below: "Sometimes life doesn't let you think about personal care."
The staff can't physically force her to comb her hair. She was likely traumatized, depressed and in some sort of shock and just wasn't ready to deal with it yet. I've worked at facilities like that and most of the people I worked with really cared. But part of healing is not forcing someone beyond their physical/personal boundaries. It's impossible to "help" if someone isn't ready for it.
Look at the kids nails, do you still believe that she has been neclected so much as they try to make you believe .. ?
@@no.name.required it happens every single day of children going through neglect and @buse. Why wouldn't we believe a child?
When I was 13, I had a phase where I was just really depressed. My hair ended up super matted and I had the worst dead skin build up. I eventually showed my mom (I was very clever at hiding the state of my hair), and she and my aunt tried to de-tangle and cleanse.
They managed to make my hair beautiful again. Eventually I went to go get my hair cut into a bob, and it was the most amazing feeling not having to worry about my hair getting matted again.
I feel for this girl. Sometimes life doesn't let you think about personal care. No judgement.
Does the hair not get matted when it's short into a bob? . I have very long hair but struggle with personal care and my hair is matted right now
@@bettyjones5375 For me it was easier. Even a cute pixie cut. Requires very little brushing. The shorter the hair, the less care it needs in terms of styling or combing. Also easier to wash. As I say, in my personal experience, chopping my hair off was the best choice. It can always grow back once a person is on the road of recovery. 💗
Not to be that person but also I personally feel like saying "a phase where" implies clinical depression is just that, a phase.
@@deerhive Hence why I was talking about myself and my experience. It was a phase in my life due to various circumstances. Not to mention the context in which I used it is completely different to what you're implying.
@@everlynevins I see, I just think using the word "depression," which is actual mental illness, shouldn't be used to describe a state or feeling anymore as it implies it's just a simple state of mind but I believe I get what you're saying
First of all props to the group home for actually bringing her to you and yall are angels for this! Seriously so amazing 👏
Absolutely. I was in a group home and I caught lice. They sent me into the bathroom with scabies cream and told me to figure it out. Didn’t help me apply it, comb it, nothing.
@@brookecaudill9392 thats awful sorry u went through that
Right? That all by itself warmed my heart. So glad they reached out.
Watching and learning from you saved my daughters long hair this morning!! She wrapped a comb into it and she came down crying. I thought, at first, I was going to have to cut all her hair off. Instead I took a deep breathe and channeled my inner Hadassa. I got out wire cutters for the comb, leave in conditioner, and a rat tail comb. I slowly picked the hair until I could move it enough to cut chunks of the comb away. After 45 mins of comb cutting,I got it all out. I was left with a tightly knotted chunk of hair that was so tight it was touching her scalp. I slowly used the rat tail comb to pick small bits and broke up the large knot. About another 45 mins, and her hair was brushed out!! You are not only an amazing stylist and person. You are also an amazing teacher!
I’m so happy to hear that… 🥰 Thank you for sharing this with me.
Lol I luv that! ❤️
@@love518salon I'm also a foster and adoptive mother. We've closed our home now, because we have 7 kids and my cancer is back, but I still do outreach with teenagers. The change you made in this child is so palpable. People see these kids and think they are no good because they don't have a "good" family, their clothes may not be great, or their behavior is not great. They are just kids though. You broke through some real walls in her emotional barriers. I'm crying just typing this. Thank you so much.
Wow
@@MSANTHR0P3 I am sorry to hear you have had cancer and that it has returned. I hope you are surrounded with love and support. I always ask if it is ok to pray for someone. If you would like me to, just let me know.
As someone who had this issue as a child due to neglect, depression, and my own tenderheadedness, from the bottom of my heart thank you for what you've done for this girl. Not only for doing it with as much gentleness as it can be, but for boosting her up and also giving her a MANAGEABLE LENGTH due to her wishes after it was done. So many stylists only ever cared what my mother wanted and what they projected onto my hair no matter how hard it was on me, and it hurt my self esteem and sense of autonomy horribly and thanks to many years of having my hair ripped out when it was finally too unpresentable to her, to the point I was even afraid of brushing at all, until the day I was finally able to get it cut. She will never forget you.
Same. My mother cruelly always made me keep my hair long (it was past my butt) but she never wanted to comb or wash my hair so it was always severely matted and had lint in it. I was also tenderheaded. It was miserable and I was made fun of in school because of it. It was such a weight off my shoulders when I finally cut it off. Now I cut it into a short Bob when it reaches my elbows.
This is beautiful! At the hospital I worked, we were the assigned Covid Unit for 2 years, I had a pt who came from ICU, she had matted hair this bad. Took almost 6 hours of my 12 hour shift to detangle her hair. I found oil worked best. I couldn't believe it was down past her buttocks. Took her 16 years to grow, so I know that feeling when helping a lady get herself back! Thank you for all you do xo
You are an ANGEL. Thank you for taking such good care of her.
Bless you! What a genuine and amazing human you are. Thank you for the work you do. I hope your life is filled with joy
*tears. Thanks for being you.
What oil?
How you could fix her hair because My hair became matted😢??
Thank you for treating that baby with respect. When I was 11, my mom stopped taking care of me. At 12, she decided to take me to a stylist who was just as kind and patient as you were. What you do is so important and Im so glad this video was recommended to me ♥
Well, you can't brush your hair when you are 11 or what? Why have to so depend on mom, even on brushing? When im at 11, i even know to cook for myself because my mom is working so hard to earn some money to feed and pay the bills. Stop blame everything but not yourself.
@@adw6894 calm down my man it's not that serious
@@UlalaGo I mean they have a good point. You don't need your mom to brush your hair for you at 11 years old. If she stopped taking care of you, why would she have spent the money to go to a stylist? It more often than not is pretty expensive, especially spending hours of work like they did on this girl's hair.
@@adw6894 Sometimes parents don't teach their children basic skills. I had a cousin whose mom would still bathe him well into his teens. My boyfriend had no idea how to take care of his curly hair and his parents refused to teach him because they wanted him bald. I ended up teaching him even though I don't have curly hair. It just happens.
@@shutup6731 she took me to the stylist to avoid having CPS called on her ass lol but go off
Im a parent of a disabled child and I can tell you this is a huge problem in our community, Thank you for your hard work
Best wishes ❤️
I'm a dog groomer & KNOW what matted hair is like to work with. So hard on the hands & body but these ladies did the most incredible work 👏 her hair is thick & beautiful 🥰
as a disabled adult, i used to have an incredibly hard time brushing my hair thoroughly as a kid. as i grew older i realized it would be easier to keep i shorter, and so i got it cut short. best decision of my life. i now keep it buzzed down most of the time
@@partyinthecloudkingdom different reason but my autism makes hair touching my face a real sensory issue, so i buzzed mine too!! much love
One time when I was 13 I had really baaaaad tangled hair. Maybe not as bad as this but really close to it. My hair was starting to be matted. I was staying with my dad for an extended period of time when I was used to my mom brushing my hair all the time. It was during Christmas vacation. Everyone kept making fun of me for it when I was just going through a tough time and I didn’t feel like brushing my hair. I finally untangled everything by myself. Spent at least an hour conditioning my hair in the shower. I finally did it, but it wasn’t an easy feat. It hurts and it is so frustrating when you try to detangle hair like this!! Amazing work
9:07 almost made me CRY. you made this girl feel so welcomed, safe, and hopefully worth it. you treated her with SUCH kindness and compassion, from the pizza party to the countless assurances that she can do and be anything
I bawled my eyes out at that part 🥹
So lovely ❤❤❤
@@Miranda0625Yes- I LOVE this channel. Hadassah and Co treats the whole person-not just the hair. It is amazing!
Right!! I almost cried hearing they threw her pizza party on the second day ❤️ Soo sweet
This poor lass has trauma most of us cant imagine. I'm so glad the support workers at the group home brought you together. I hope she and her mum get the support they deserve to be together in a safe, secure home soon. Thank you for making a difference in her life 💕
i wish all support homes were like this. sadly, there are terrible stories and some simply lack funding. we need to do better in making sure we provide well for such unfortunate children.
as an adult who recently tested in range for aspergers, it crossed my mind it's possible she's got undiagnosed issues such as autism maybe? I feel for kids in the system, deeply. And to have undiagnosed issues you have to mask just adds to the challenges. Thanks to this hairdresser and her coworkers/friends for caring for her so beautifully.
Autism until recently was studied only in the context of how it affects males.
So females never fit the profile because they are brought up very differently.
Society has very specific, sometimes strict, requirements for girls and women regarding dress, behavior, interests, and expression. Today it is thought that instead of the ratio of autism being 4 boys to 1 girl, it is closer to 1:1.8. Girls are still highly under-diagnosed though. And the old stereotypes remain. "She doesn't look autistic. She doesn't act autistic" Because the brainy nerdy boy social outcast is what people picture.
This can happen even in a well adjusted loving household. My daughter use to wear her hair in a low bun as a 13 year old. She showered every day and her hair was always neat but what I failed to realize is that she wasn’t always taking her hair down and brushing it out but rather smoothing the top with a comb while it was still tied up. I spent 6 hours and a lot of oil to get the matting out.
when I was a kid my mum would come and check if I brushed my hair... I didn't I just did what you kid did. She threatened to cut it all of since I don't deserves having long hair. I started brushing after that
My nine year old does brush but has trouble getting every spot. She gets this massive tangle at the back of her head under the top layer of hair if I don’t brush her hair for her at least once a week. She wants it long and it’s just so thick and wavy. I don’t mind helping her out but sometimes life gets busy and I forget to check on her hidden knots! Then it can take a long time but we have fun with it and pick a movie to watch sometimes while I work.
@@lindsaymoore5852 you're a good mum bless you ❤️🌞❤️
@Lindsay Moore This was my problem as a child! My hair is the exact same way and the brush wouldn't always go through enough and I'd have the same. They took me to a salon to get hair cut and they ended up having to shampoo my hair to get the knot out and my parents were embarrassed and mad at me, but I couldn't get it out on my own. I didn't want to go get my hair cut ever after that, not because of the person but my parents. Once they knew the problem though, my mom had to do the same and help me with my hair. Eventually they realized my brush bristles we're too short. So thank you for helping her brush that out and avoid the situation I went through.
I used to get the "nape knot" too, and my hair wasn't long either. I remember my mother basically tearing it out with a brush and comb..it hurt.
wow i teared up when you showed the pizza party. i can't believe someone as good as you exists, what an amazing heart you have.
❤
What you do is so important. Thank you! For a 13 year old to stop brushing their hair and let things get so bad you know she has to be hurting so bad inside. Poor girl, I hope she's doing a bit better and is getting the help she needs. Thank you again for what you do. 💖💖💖
U don't even think about it .that mother figure is so m.i.a ur just dealing through life and consistent mental stressers. These types abuse lead to bad adult choices . I hope she stays humble and true to her energy. These women have probably thought her so much in this scenario especially now she's puberty age. I know embarrassingly this happened to me from very toxic alcohol mom..gives me tears to see this ❤
But no one else around her couldn't do it? She had to pee during the day..she couldn't run a brush thru during?
It's pretty profound, when you think about it. Instead of cutting her hair off and making her start from zero, they salvaged it through patience, kindness, and gentleness. When bad things happen, you don't always have to lose everything.
@@leilanilogan40 have you ever been so depressed and lonely and hurting you stop caring for yourself? this poor child is probably struggling, she isnt thinking oh i should just run a brush through my hair. and we never know, its possible she went a few days and the damage was already done so she just didnt bother anymore.
@@leilanilogan40 We don't know the conditions in her home. When your self esteem slips so low you feel there is no point brushing your hair, nobody loves you, you're ugly anyway so why bother? And then it slips further because you haven't been looking after yourself. It's similar to overeating. Both are consequences and emotional protection from trauma. It didn't sound like she had any responsible adults in her life, nor any close friends outside school. It may be hard for you to understand how a 13 year old would end up like that, but that's lucky for you that you've not been in a similar place.
Ive suffered from severely matted hair after being bed bound for weeks after my ex beat me nearly to death. YOU ARE DOING GODS WORK.
I'm so sorry that you suffered that. Women should not be targets for men.
@@mellie4174 Nobody should be targets of anyone.
@@Teuwufel Yes, but please understand people are allowed to talk about one thing in particular at a time, without invalidating others.
@@ARGhostie It goes both ways.
@@Teuwufel Alm supoorters be like
This had me in tears immediately. Never in a thousand years would it have crossed my mind that detangling people's hair would be such an act of love, care, kindness, and PATIENCE. You are an amazing person ❤❤
As a grown up foster child.... Wow. Love this. My hair had to get cut off 2 years ago in the hospital because of my heroin addiction. I'm 24 and clean now. My foster mom is the one who brought the hair stylist to the hospital from an hour drive away. I love my foster mom so much. And that hair cut tho I didn't want to cut my hair... Was better than the knotted mess I had. Way worse than this child's hair I hadn't brushed in a couple years probably.
I am really happy to hear that you have a loving foster mom and are two years clean- an extremely difficult feat! I’m sure it doesn’t mean much to hear from a stranger on the internet but I am really proud of you
So glad you're clean!!!
🙌🏾
Well done on getting clean!!
I got in H at 15, now in my 30's. In methadone.
I can't believe I lost 20+ years to that drug.
you and your foster mom sound so sweet, proud of you for staying clean, mate
In addition to making her hair comfortable again you also gave her the BEST gift - the sense that she is worth caring for and spending time to help her.
This is such an important message that she's receiving by someone taking the time to help her.
It was SO lovely to see how excited she was, she was stimming so hard after it all came out! You've changed this girl's LIFE, and it's an AMAZING thing you've done for her!
not everything is stimming yk, I'm neurotypical but have habits and behaviours that look similar to stimming
@renthemen. hey! Neurotypicals also stim, it's short for "self-stimulating behaviours," and it's an umbrella term for anything that falls under a repetitive motion or sound. So think knee bouncing and pen clicking, those are also stims. So yes, she is stimming. She is excited and expresses that excitement through the hand shaking as a means to self regulate. (This is coming from an autistic individual, I have a very dense relationship with stimming, and I also have tourettes, which can present similarly in some cases. So yes, I do know that not everything is stimming.)
@@renthemen. you can be neurotypical and stim lmao. its not a neurodivergent only thing, it's just more prevalent with them.
Hair plays such an important part to our self-esteem, whether people admit it or not. So the fact that this girl went through so much in her life and was treated with respect, love, and compassion while getting her hair de-matted is so heartwarming to see. I really hope she's doing well ♥️
As a teen in psych hospital I stopped brushing my hair for a while. It got really matted. One of the staff sat down with me one evening and brushed and untangled it for me. I wasn’t very comfortable with most people touching my hair but she made me feel comfortable and cared for. Thank you to that staff member and thank you Love518 for such moments of tenderness 💚
You will be repaid for the DIGNITY you allowed this baby girl. She will never forget how you taught her all this and were so GRACEFUL. 😭😭😭😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
I love how much care you put into keeping her identity anonymous 🖤🖤🖤 really shows that you understand how sensitive and difficult this kind of trauma can be. Nobody wants to be recognized in that state- and you are amazing to make her feel like her beautiful and best self is the only self that people will remember.
That’s what i was thinking.
Being in a group home means she's in the foster care system.
I know if you're fostering children you're not allowed to show their faces on social media. I don't even think they're allowed to have their own accounts.
I guess that carries to this situation too. Or maybe she was just being considerate, but I don't think most people would think that in depth. The girl probably knew she wasn't supposed to be on social media and told the hairdresser if I had to guess.
@@mirrors8913 owhno! This person always respects people their privacy and does it all anonymously.
@@mirrors8913 as a former foster child and someone who was in a group home and still talks to ppl working at said group homes, thEy are allowed to have their own fb accounts and whatever. And the group homes actually have picture albums of old kids who lived there. Foster parents aren’t allowed to show pics of kids under the age of 12/14 dependent on the child, then they can with their consent.
Yes!! This👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽💕💕
As a therapist I am so encouraged by your gentle, trauma sensitive approach to not only to provide a service but to empower her to be herself. What a beautiful transformation. 💜💜💜
What a sweet girl. She has some of the most beautiful hair I've ever seen, but I think it was a smart decision to cut it shorter. It will be much easier for her to maintain, and it's amazing that she chose to donate it. I hope the future comes much easier to her, she deserves so much peace and happiness.
my hair looked like this at times when i was younger bc my mom never taught me how to brush my hair. she would scream at me when it would get bad like this. what you are doing for this child is amazing and i know she thinks about you from time to time, you're truly amazing :)
Kokichi kokichi kokichi
Why were our moms like this
my mom was the same way, but with doing my laundry.
@@daniiiakasha4711 a lot of moms have internal issues they have never worked through. They may have gone through the same thing growing up, learned to address a problems by yelling, and passed it on. There is a crisis in society with toxic femininity (yes I believe it is a more common problem than toxic masculinity but doesn’t show physical scars so isn’t talked about). I grew up with and am still surrounded by female bullies as a woman in my 30’s due to this issue. Ladies, we are more than how our mothers and women have treated us. It is possible for us to learn to be loving and nurturing even to ourselves!
My mom doesn’t yell.
I hadn’t had my hair cut or touched by anyone in 5ish years, and I’d spent the last couple years locked inside with my dissociation getting worse and feeling awful about myself. But I recently bit the bullet and went to see a stylist. It wasn’t nearly this bad, but she was patient and kind and funny. Gave me a whole photo shoot after, and I cried going home lol. Haven’t worn a beanie in awhile. Y’all are awesome. I want to do something like this for people.
A volunteer organization would love to have your help.
I refused to take mine off for the longest time.
Kudos to the group home for seeking you out and compensating you to ensure that this teen can have her life back. And you are truly a miracle worker! 💗 You gave this teen a new beginning and a new lease on life! 💞
It sounds like this girl has been in survival mode for a while. When a person is in that mindset, It's easy to stop believing that one deserves the kind of treatment you gave her: the kindness, love, time, and commitment. It can also feel safer to fear such treatment, but you managed to break through all that. Thank you.
As a hairdresser that specialises in neurodiverse/queer/vulnerable clientele, this is so special! I'd love to sit in for any detangling training if you do more lives :) Love from Australia !
Wow, what a cool job! I love that specialized hairdressers exist. I never heard of it but admire you so much for providing this service! 💖
So glad that you take care of the special needs cases, going to the hairdresser with sensory problems is hard
I’m not a hairdresser, but I do get called in to help a lot of people who go in as like a sort of therapy. I talk to them and keep them company and let them know they’re not alone. Because in my city there’s a lot of stigma to be perfect. To never let the world see you down. And that’s unfair. I’ve been through so much and I know how hard it is to not blame yourself for how you’ve been treated. I’ve made so many great friends by doing what I do. And I’ve helped close to 400 people just feel better about themselves and give them the support they’ve needed. I don’t get paid for this, this is something I started when I was in high school as a nonprofit with my neighbor who is a social worker and got permission and got me certified
@@xLadyBanana here's your award!! no one cares
wait they have specialized hairdressers? that wouldve been great growing up, my stylist just threatened to shave it off
You’re such a wonderful person. We tend to believe that being a preteen/teenager is so easy. The truth is it’s one of the hardest times for us. We’ve got hormones going through us, school, friends, and bullies. Then add living in a group home and dealing with adult situations makes it harder.
You made it life easier for her and gave her the love, attention, and compassion she needed.
Omg the way you talk to her. Bless your heart. You know that child is going to grow up and ALWAYS remember the impact you had on her. Not just because of the hair. But hearing those words of encouragement from another woman. That touched my heart ♥️
So many young girls need the warm loving environment that you created for her. You could take charge of a group home.
that wasnt just detagling that was an entire therapy session wow major props for the two hairstylists for doing this 💞💞
She has the same hair type as mine, and we're similar ages (I'm just on 15). I'm really glad that you did this for her, I can't imagine what she's been through. I hope things get better for her.
This is so beautiful. As someone who struggled with depression and anxiety my entire life my hair would get so matted like that. And they would always cut all my hair off and make me feel so terrible. :(
I am so sorry that happened to you and no one was there to show you your value. You are loved and a valuable person.
@@vickyCA1643 thank you so much ❤️🥺
I have also struggled with depression. Chronic & acute to be specific, with anxiety as a side dish that noone asked for. Although I haven't had mats like this, my hair was the last thing I cared about. I can understand how this can happen.
I sure hope that this young lady can come back and visit the Beautiful Soul that was able to give her this gift. Shout out to the other person that assisted her & the group home. Sending Love from Mo.
Same 😔
I'm clinically depressed and have bad anxiety issues.
My hair got like this, so I just shaved it off. Nothin' wrong with it.
She will remember you for the rest of her life, this is so lovely 💜
Hey girl, don’t know if you remember me but I was going to fly into see you, my hair got exactly that way when I was in the hospital w Covid for a long time plus tons of depression but my best friend ended up being able to detangle my hair which was down to my waist and everyone said “cut it off” but you put faith back in me that it could be done so you see in my pic how awesome my hair is.
You are truly a beautiful soul and I’m so thankful you are still touching lives 1 hair at a time. ❤ This little one has beautiful hair and our hair is life changing when we have it or we don’t so thank you again for your blessings. Truly one of a kind❤️
I absolutely loved that you guys didn’t just do your job and keep it robotic
I loved that you added so much of your personality and care into her appointments with small touches like pizza party, playing movies, and especially having her repeat those affirmations to herself, not to mention reminding her to sit up straight and hold her head high
I know this will be something she remembers even as an adult
Her dropping her guard was a sign that you made a safe space for her
I love your compassion when working with her. Since I have autism, i still get anxious going to the hair dresser. I can tell you that you did her trauma a favor and built up a memory that will keep her faith in kindness for a long time. Never stop glowing! Thank you for doing what you do! I would hug you if I could!
My 11 yr old (au) child struggles with hairdresser, she dislikes that they talk and she doesn't want to talk. During lock down I started cutting the hair myself, and they much prefer it. But I can't style to save myself 😐. Do you have any tips for trips to the hairdresser to ease my childs stress so they can have the haircut they want?
@@aquaenigma6285 Autistic adult here! The problem is probably a combination of being unsure what's happening, and sensory issues. Ask the hairdresser to tell your child what they are doing to the hair and what the next step will be, if your child wants that to happen, of course. If your child doesn't want any talk at all, maybe just ask the hairdresser to stay quiet. If the hairdresser dislikes the silence, maybe let them agree on some music? If you're usually at a bigger place, maybe switch to a smaller salon with less people. Also ask your child if there are any other parts of the process that are worse for the senses and see with your hairdresser if you can skip or adapt some steps. For example my hairdresser used to use hair dryers on me at the end, but I hated the heat and the noise, so I asked her to just let me leave with half wet hair and let it air dry. Talk things through with your child BEFORE leaving the house so that you know the two of you are in agreement on what will happen.
(Also sorry to Kathleen for derailing your lovely comment)
@@martaj7614 thank you for your response, I appreciate it. I know my child just hates anything to with their hair, its definitely sensory and the same as you, the noise of the hairdryer is too much for them. I wonder if a home appointment might be less stressful? I can maybe get the hairdresser to visit first to talk things through 🤔. Your comment has definitey helped me think more outside the box, thank you 😊
Can I ask what helps you when you go to the salon to handle all the stimulation and noise?
@@aquaenigma6285 So sorry I missed this! (Please note, I know you have a lil' girl so the next few mention hims and he's are generic, speaking broadly about an autistic kid) . Tips I would recommend is conditioning them to be comfortable with earbuds (noise cancelling or swimming also cancels noise) maybe if you can play music through them, do it at a soft level or one good for stimmin' (every kid has a preference and the earbuds in ear won't stop the hairdresser's job).
Then, kitted with my earbuds, I bring something to squeeze or work my hands with. The worst part is the hairdresser trying to make conversation, so maybe controlling the conversation so it's the adult and the hairdresser talking and not the person in the seat. Thinking I have to mask my rocking, or trying to act right when also having the vibrations of very sharp scissors near my ears and skin is very difficult... But these things help. If your kid needs to rock, suggest that the hairdresser leaves the footway open for nervous foot wiggling and teach the kid how high he's allowed to wiggle for safety. My foot bounce thing drives people up a wall but keeps me sane LOL (Speaking of earbuds, you might be able to find tracks online that tell him a story that's just long enough for a hair appointment, and you can gamify it by saying "I want you to tell me the 3 names of the main characters" or tell him "Can you tell me what color shirt?" And he'll focus on listening for that- that's another way you can make the appointment fun.
If they have a haircut they want to go for, you can take breaks every 1/4th of the way through to do Grounding techniques such as Patty cake or some other hand to hand stim that doesn't rely on words. Check in with the lad or lass, let them know how far along they are, and reassure them that it's looking good so far! For grounding techniques in summer, small cracked ice cubes are great for holding onto and letting melt to keep focused on the task at hand. Plus, it's water and doesn't make a mess.
We do really well with knowing times, so if you make a game out of waiting (IE: Alright, the first break he gets a sticker, second break he gets to look at ice cream flavors and pick it out ahead of time? Maybe helping relieve some pressure of making a decision at the ice cream parlor.. The third and second to last break could be another tactile game and hyping up "We're almost done! Last part to go!" Then the last time can be whatever jubilation or maybe offering a new play toy from his favorite franchise. Although this can't happen every time, from that moment on you can do the 1/4 method or a 1/2 and 1/2 method to check in, and he can have a way to measure his comfort zones and expectations.
By normalizing the breaks, if needed, you can help ease the anxiety of not knowing how long to wait.
I think for your lil' girl, the earbuds might do the trick. I would talk to her about the scissors, see if it's how the hairdressers might move too fast and poke.
It could also be due to extrasensory sensations for the hair and head, sometimes getting the hairdresser to give a head massage with no shampoo can help re-callibrate the sensitivity of the head. When we think something bad might happen, just like soldiers, we get super sensitive to tactile. By dumbing down the sensory via tapping, massages, ect prior to a stimulating activity, we can calibrate and knock off the over reaction to pressure in some cases by not feeling it as pain but instead as pressure. Your girl might be super sensitive to her head and hair, I am too! Letting the hairdresser know "She's tender headed" can give them a protocol that makes it clear just as if they were working with an adult. *thumbs up*
I had no idea a child so young could get that depressed, how heartbreaking. I’m so amazed that the people from the group home could come together with you and you all care about her well-being and helped her keep her gorgeous hair. Amazing. Bless you all.
I feel her pain, I was in a group home I had hair down to my bum it was dyed black they wouldn't let me keep dying it. So it was too embarrassing for them they forced me to cut it, I had a super short haircut right before having to start a new school. I don't have the face for short hair, it looks so bad on me. So yeah I can see how this could happen
🥺
😡😡😡
I'm sorry. I hope your life is happier now
Get out of group home. Group home is not good.
@@catladynikki2024 I mean at that point why not just say "don't be an orphan" most people don't want to be in group homes you sound very ignorant
when you first see these people's hair, it's so easy to have a negative gut reaction and blame them. but as you have said, we all come from different circumstances, and carry our pain in different ways. i could say "i can't imagine my hair getting like that" but someone else probably couldn't imagine cutting, beating, and starving themselves like i did.
truly a reminder to be kind.
Not even halfway through this video and want to cry. As a kid who come from the system, people who truly care are few and far between. This girl will forever have the kindness you showed her clear in her memory. You gave her much, much more than you could imagine. How absolutely beautiful. You are AMAZING.
I had some matted clumps in my hair when I was a child. My hairdresser was very nice and de-tangled it, with minimal cutting. The other hairdressers in the shop laughed at me and were talking about me behind my back. At the time I felt great shame. Looking back I feel shame for them, laughing at a child who showed signs of possible neglect. I love the lack of judgement on your channel. I'm happy to see people like you exist. 💕
her running her fingers through her hair and doing a little dance... i remember being that age and feeling so vulnerable and im happy for her. thank you for this. i hope her life gets better.
As someone who has dealt with embarrassing situations as a child, thank you. Thank you for putting your love and time into this child, thank you for helping her heal her past hair trauma, thank you for treating her like a person and not a problem. You don't need to see her face to feel how good she feels about herself by the end and that is so purely beautiful.
It's all in the body language. That little girl was *giddy.*
Bless her heart! A child her age doesn't just decide to let her hair go like that - there is some trauma/ pain behind it. You didn't just detangle her hair, you helped heal her heart! When I was around her age, I had hair past the waist long, and (during summer months) would see how long I could get away with not taking care of it before I was told to. It was 100% an effort to get basic attention, to prove anyone realized I existed - that's how neglected I felt. You showed her love, and she will always remember that.
You gave this young girl her confidence and life back. I could cry for her! She’s so deserving of being free of that physically and emotionally. You and your coworker are incredible women! Thank you so much for being so compassionate and empathetic! So much love to you guys!♥️
I love what you do. My daughter didn’t brush her hair for almost a year and it became a curly matted mess. It took us 2 months to get all done. Now she takes care of it every day.
How did you not notice she wasn't brushing her hair
@@romanaa7070 hats and other coverings possibly, but you also can't force someone dealing with executive functioning issues to deal with things like this, even a child. They have to do it in their own time, and there's a reason for it
im happy to hear that the group home actually tried to do what they could and also asked for help instead of just cutting her hair. So happy you were there for her and provided and calm and safe space as well.
Oh, honey! That girl's hair is beautiful and healthy! She's just gorgeous! The people who tell you to just cut it off don't understand. That's years worth of growth. And to lose that without it being your decision, that's devastating to a young girl. Instead, she made it through the fire and didn't lose a piece of herself. You are a wonderful person to give her that gift. What a transformation! ❤
Let's be real, after 2 days of that, anyone would be tender headed and their scalp hurt. You brought so much life back to her! Y'all did an amazing job and I appreciate that you don't judge because mental health is rough sometimes. ❤️ I wish her the best in life and hopefully she's thriving in school.
Also her haircut is so cute! She looks so stylish!
Her happy stimming throughout just warmed my heart ❤
I came here to say the same thing. The joy is so real
I noticed the happy stimming too!!!
You are doing amazing things for people ✨️ 💕 the love and confidence you are able to bring people is truly inspiring 💖 so much love to you
I know that girl will never forget this experience. You made her feel like she was worth something, all that effort makes a world of difference.
Y’all are the positive changes we need in this world! Thank you for being so kind, and caring so much about others.
YES!!!
I am so blessed to have 2 of the most loving parents in the world, i know how lucky i am. ❤
Oh my gosh, I audibly GASPED at how amazing her hair looked at 5:10! Whoa!! I'm about to cry, you treated this girl with the dignity that she deserves and I can't even begin to imagine how thrilled and happy she felt. Bless you!
I was in a group home as a teen, and they treated me with the love, care, and kindness I needed at that time. They were my saving grace, one of the only reasons I'm still alive to tell this to y'all. The love this little girl deserves was given by this salon and group home, and I hope she continues to know that she's loved and valued and worthy of all the good things in life❤️ Sending so many well wishes to her and everyone caring for her while her family is on hard times. Community support is crucial in helping these families thrive when help is needed ❤️
I was in a group home and we weren’t allowed to have seconds ….
You are an absolute magical creature!!! I'm in tears watching her hands go up the more excited she gets! Also, HATS OFF TO YOU for keeping all the hair and then cutting it **after** she was free to pick whatever shape she wanted instead of what "had" to happen because of the knots. The difference. The ministry of JOY! You are a saint walking with magic hands and hard work. I'm amazed and impressed.
Thank you so much for doing this for her. Depression knots are the worst, and detangling them can be an even more traumatic experience- due to the self chastising, the pain, and the shame. Can't thank you enough for this service.
Thank you so much for saving this sweet baby's hair, I'm literally in tears right now. My step daughter was dropped of with her hair matted like this as a preteen and the amount of time, energy, oil, and conditioner it took to get her hair presentable again was immense. The work it took to repair her self esteem was an entirely different battle all is own. You are an absolute angel for helping this sweet girl in some of her darkest moments, bringing a smile back to her face and instilling so much confidence in her throughout the process. ❤️
This made me cry, as a mom of a 14 yr old young lady, seeing her excitement when she saw her hair just made my mom heart happy. I hope she is doing good and her situation has gotten better for her and her momma.
This video randomly popped up on my feed and I can honestly say that you’re such a wonderful human being. Helping someone in a situation like this must be so difficult, yet you’re doing it. ♥️
Same. And I'm so happy it did. These ladies are angels
I'm so glad you did this AND cut it to a shorter length in a positive way. I was so afraid it would be left long and it would soon end up in this state again. I am a former social worker with CPS and children's homes. I also had very long, thick and wavy hair as a kid. Even as an adult, who styles their hair every day. I have had to cut out tangle clumps in the back when I've been sick, in bed for a few days and didn't brush it . My niece and I both have similar hair and tangles/clumps are a battle .Thank you for doing this and helping her get it to a length that may be more manageable.
Her little happy dances are too sweet. What a precious soul. I hope she's doing well for herself.
God bless you guys! As a dad of three girls (and two sons), I have had my time as the official detangler of the family. That was a miraculous job. Your compassion, love, and skill makes me tear up. That young lady will never forget that experience. You're changing lives. Thank you.
oh my goodness, poor kid. You're an angel for helping her. I'm sure she'd feel devastated if she lost the hair. Also, giving her an experience where she's not judged and she feels safe to reach out for help is one of the most amazing things an adult can do for a child
I know this is an older video, but dang!! Had this grown man in tears!! Sweet girl, I don’t know your struggles, but I pray for God to wrap his arms around you and keep you safe all the days of your life! You ladies did an amazing job! Much love to the 3 of you!
My heart aches for this baby. It makes me so sad that nobody was looking out for her. I just hope she goes on to get past all the stuff she's been through and flourish in her life.
So sorry that your personal circumstances caused your hair to be in this state. I hope time will help to heal the psychological trauma you endured. Glad your hair is finally detangled. I pray life gets better for you (and your mum).
You're an actual gem of a human to go above and beyond for her like that. ❤
I was just like this when i was 9-10. I was extremely neglected and depressed, and i had a matted pony tail for well over a year. When i was put in services they had to cut it all off, and im much happier now obviously. Great job taking care of this girl.
Fine hair tangles so easy! I have fine hair, and when I was a kid every night I’d wake up with rats nest, and they were very difficult and painful to get them out. If you give up on one, they’ll continue to grow
Indeed. People who don't have fine hair underestimate how easily it rats up. I feel sorry for my mom back in the day with 3 little girls with fine hair, one of whom had "glass" hair. No wonder she had the stylist just cut it short.
I’m in my 30’s and still have to use a detangler spray to be able to untangle my hair.
@@AuthenticMage I’m 50, and I still have a special detangling brush! My hair is thick, but the individual hairs are really fine. It’s a tangled mess after just a day at the office, and all I’m doing is sitting at a desk. You’d think I’d been skydiving or something, it’s unreal. Still can’t figure that out, lol!
You two girls will stay in her memory for ever! Not only did you made her hair look amazeing agan, you also pushed her ego as far as you could! She will think of you a lot, i'm sure about that! I wish i could meet such lovely and comforting wemon as you are when i was that age. Just to hear you are worth it when you are at such a low point at age 13 really can make a difference in the teens life ❤️ hope you will see her again ❤️
This beautiful woman must have children of her own, she is giving caring mother vibes and it made me tear up! Thank you for helping this young lady and being a positive role mode too! ♥️
It's amazing how long her hair is after detangling it, and it's surprizingly healthy too!
When you said she donated it ... This brought years to my eyes. I used to work at teen residential tx facility for substance abuse. I'd say at any given time 75 % or greater were in the system..
You're so sweet. I had an accident when I was 9 that put me in the hospital for over a month and a body cast afterwards. Near the end of my hospital stay they had to cut most of hair off because it had gotten so tangled from laying down all the time. I also had developed a habit of rolling my head back and forth to help me fall asleep which made it much, much worse. I honestly don't remember being that upset about it, but I didn't have to go to school or see anyone but my family and the hospital staff. It's really awesome that you took the time to help her. It's beautiful.
I grew up in foster care too from age 5-13 and this exact thing happened to me... Unable to care for my hair, which is naturally straight and brown. It'd get tangled and matted and it used to break and falll out a lot so my foster mom's would just cut it really really short with ugly little bangs.
I always dreamed of the pretty long straight brown hair like she has after detangling and her haircut at the end looks SO GOOD. that was my number one DREAM when I was 13. Y'all are amazing hairdressers making her dream come true. like it's just hair, it might not seem like much but to a girl who's been through hell like that, simply having beautiful hair like everyone else let's you feel better about your own personhood. It's why I've worn my hair the exact same length without every dying it for over a decade now that I'm not in care.
❤️ AMAZING work love518!!
This is going to jumpstart so much healing for this baby. Plus you killed that long baaaawb ❤ thank-you for your compassion and dedication to your clients
Bless your soul, all love to you for fixing her up. I managed to skirt the system but a lot of my friends were in the child welfare system growing up, and detangling was a thing we often did while hanging out. This is way more common on all hair types and all ethnicities when you're really struggling than folks realize, and it continues into adulthood because the damage and trauma is so hard to address and heal. Bless you, bless that group home and bless this young girl. I can't love you enough for this
Thank you for showing her love and giving her the dignity of not giving up on her. People will say "oh, it's just hair," but they don't realize how much outward things like this can deal huge blows to our feelings of self-worth and humanity. I'm glad there are hairdressers who will do this kind of work for other people.
You are not a hair-dresser. You are a Hair THERAPIST.
I am cheesing so hard and tearing up at the same time.
Never seen your vids before, but I am LOVING it. The way you care for the person, and not just heir hair is just heart-warming.
Be blessed, lovely. Because all the blessings you give will come right back to you.
Spread the love 💖
This happened to my hair when I was bed ridden. My mom didn't realize how bad it got. She came to shower me and after she combed it out. There was a whole grocery bag full of hair. 😢 Bless my mom's heart for trying. I should have came to you. Now I have to wear lace front wigs. I keep buying them and getting ripped off. The frontal is real hair but the rest is synthetic. I hope it grows fast.
I am CRYING! My 11 year old can get matts in her hair SO easily and I have to brush through it several times a week. It's so sweet what you were able to do for this child!
My daughter is the same. We use bio silk now and the knots don’t hold in her hair any more.
Danke!
No judgement here ❤️ I have had matted hair, not to this level but definitely underneath… depression can become so debilitating to where hair is the last thing you want to deal with. Or anything for the matter. You’re amazing for taking such care of her… so glad I came across this video ❤️
Same. When my depression gets really bad, I'll go weeks without brushing my hair to the point ill have numerous small to decent sized matts that take hours to brush it and hurt.
My hair is down to my ass so it gets tangled pretty easily. And lucky I can just wear out up in a bun so Pele can't tell, or under a bonnet (since i work at a hospital, having your hair covered isn't at all unusual).
But it still sucks that out gets that way. And my hygeine just goes right out the window when the depression really hits. Which makes everything worse, cuz then you've got all this shame about it too.
It's so lovely to see people like this though, who are kind and compassionate, who just help instead of judge. I wish there were more people like this. (Wish dental care wasn't so prohibitively expensive too, or that dentists would donate work, because I definitely have depression/poverty related dental problems. And that'll make you feel like crap pretty easily too).
These women are wonderful though and I can only imagine how much being able to walk out of that salon with a gorgeous new haircut helped this girl. Genuinely life changing in the best way possible.
Also, I hope you're doing well. Sending love your way
@@bottomofastairwell i'm dealing with something a little similar right now. I haven't given my hair the proper treatment (hygiene too, such as brushing my teeth and taking a shower) it needs for over two months already and I still am struggling with matted hair. i'm still wearing it in a bun to this moment and my parents haven't noticed yet. I feel like my mom has started to get suspicious already and I know that she will absolutely freak when she realizes I had been lying to her (let alone the fact that my hair is even more matted than the 16 year old welcome mat at my front door), therefore I'm constantly thinking of how I should tell her I have matted hair before she discovers it herself. i'm in a very serious mental state right now and help would be very much appreciated. someone please let me know how I should tell my mom (also help me decide whether I should tell her that this exact hair salon lives in miami, only two hours maximum away from where I live or just ask my mom to cut my hair to the point where the mattedness ends) PLEASE I beg someone to respond ASAP 🙏🙏 also, I've been thinking about detangling it myself but i'm in a mental state where my motivation just gives up. i seriously don't understand why i'm overthinking this when my mom is a literal THERPIST and is supposed to help me go through these things but sometimes I really feel like she does a horrible job at her career.
Girl I lived on my own as a teen. No matter what keep one foot in front of the other and keep pushing forward. Whatever your going through will get better. Prayers for you and your mom. Props to the stylist for doing a fab job her hair looks so beautiful, shiny and healthy. Your a gift from God.
Much Love to you. 💜💜💜💙💙💙💕💕💕💕💓💓💓💞💞💞❤❤❤
You saved her crowning glory! Stunning! Hey, Queen Esther in the Bible needed a YEAR of beauty treatments. God bless you all 🌹
“I will praise Thee; for I am fearfully & wonderfully made...”
PSALM 139:14
Not only did they do a good job they also raised her self esteem. Bless them!
The end result and the cut was gorgeous!!! You are truly angels!!
I remember going through severe depression from bullying at my job and I stopped brushing my hair because I was so depressed; I would just pull it up in a "messy bun" 🙄 and tie the messy bun so tight with 2 ellastics so nothing falls out. A customer came up to me one day and told me she was a hair dresser/stylist and kept inviting me to her salon to get a nice hair makeover. Even though I never went to see her (I was that depressed, I just didn't care), I will nonetheless never forget her kindness. I remember she told me it would lift my spirit up if I did something nice with my hair. I often wonder where she is now. God bless all these salon angels. 💕
i'm dealing with something a little similar right now. I haven't given my hair the proper treatment (hygiene too, such as brushing my teeth and taking a shower) it needs for over two months already and I still am struggling with matted hair. i'm still wearing it in a bun to this moment and my parents haven't noticed yet. I feel like my mom has started to get suspicious already and I know that she will absolutely freak when she realizes I had been lying to her (let alone the fact that my hair is even more matted than the 16 year old welcome mat at my front door), therefore I'm constantly thinking of how I should tell her I have matted hair before she discovers it herself. i'm in a very serious mental state right now and help would be very much appreciated. someone please let me know how I should tell my mom (also help me decide whether I should tell her that this exact hair salon lives in miami, only two hours maximum away from where I live or just ask my mom to cut my hair to the point where the mattedness ends) PLEASE I beg someone to respond ASAP 🙏🙏 also, I've been thinking about detangling it myself but i'm in a mental state where my motivation just gives up. i seriously don't understand why i'm overthinking this when my mom is a literal THERPIST and is supposed to help me go through these things but sometimes I really feel like she does a horrible job at her career.
@@2.fatducks I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time but just tell your mom. Have a conversation. Together you'll find a solution. And the most important thing is to tell her Why it's that way. Keeping depression to your's is dangerous. Tell her you need help. Most parents love thier kids and want to help them. If she doesn't want to help you then you need to tell another trusted adult like a grandparent, teacher, coach etc. Keep telling people until someone helps you.