What Makes a Man Suddenly Commit? | Matthew Hussey

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 ต.ค. 2024
  • ►► Learn the 3 Practical Steps to Get Someone to Commit.
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    Have you ever been with a guy you were certain would never settle down? The type who would declare to all his friends that he just “wasn’t made” for a relationship . . . only to one day announce he’s in a serious relationship or even getting married?
    When this happens, we think, “What did the woman he committed to do that I didn’t?!”
    What makes a man suddenly decide to commit?
    In this week’s video, I not only dive into the answer to this question, but I also give you 4 practical pieces of psychology you can use to influence someone’s desire to commit to you.
    P.S. I can’t overstate how excited I am about the new gift at the end of this video. I’ve been working on it for a while now and it will show you how you can define the relationship when you don’t know where you stand. I’m asked about this situation all the time, and this is the best practical tool I could come up with to help anyone in that situation.
    ►► FREE download: “9 Texts No Man Can Resist” → www.9texts.com
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ความคิดเห็น • 267

  • @makie2013
    @makie2013 2 ปีที่แล้ว +655

    what makes a man commit :
    1. 05:10
    having an exciting vision
    for what a relationship means
    本身要對於長期穩定關係
    有興奮期待的眼光與願景
    2. 06:15
    showing vulnerability
    適度示弱
    3. 06:43
    communicating standards
    建立標準
    4. 07:23
    bringing peaceful energy
    情緒穩定

  • @user-lk9jp1nt4h
    @user-lk9jp1nt4h 7 วันที่ผ่านมา +29

    Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.

    • @AndrianaGomes-l6k
      @AndrianaGomes-l6k 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

      It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.

    • @user-lk9jp1nt4h
      @user-lk9jp1nt4h 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?

    • @AndrianaGomes-l6k
      @AndrianaGomes-l6k 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

      His name is Father Akunna, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

    • @AndrianaGomes-l6k
      @AndrianaGomes-l6k 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

      he is father Akunna, he has great powers, he can help you.

    • @user-lk9jp1nt4h
      @user-lk9jp1nt4h 7 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive

  • @coolbreeze5683
    @coolbreeze5683 2 ปีที่แล้ว +289

    I'm in a long term relationship but still love listening to Matthew's videos. His advice isn't only for dating but applies to human behavior and life in general. He's very wise!

    • @evelynsantiago6562
      @evelynsantiago6562 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Same here. Could not agree more 👍🏼

    • @Daniela.Mccaffrey
      @Daniela.Mccaffrey ปีที่แล้ว +1

      true

    • @aprilli5332
      @aprilli5332 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Sometimes he said something I couldn't comprehend at the moment but later I worked it out...like....so this is what Matthew was talking about!

  • @largolagrande
    @largolagrande 2 ปีที่แล้ว +50

    These are some of the best and compact advices for an actual healthy relationship I've ever heard in a while.

  • @kimasp7482
    @kimasp7482 2 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    It's an amazing feeling when you find someone that just helps keep you grounded without any effort..it just seems to happen and be automatic.

  • @Babesinthewood97
    @Babesinthewood97 2 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    And don’t stay long with individuals who don’t appreciate your effort and kindness. Not everyone understands that just because you are lovely, it comes with the price of returning the effort. It’s not a free for all.

  • @stayslickwithkit
    @stayslickwithkit 2 ปีที่แล้ว +121

    There's 4 simple things a man needs before he decides to commit:
    1) Trust that she's loyal to him and only him.
    2) She brings peace instead of turmoil.
    3) She's a team player.
    4) Good Physical intimacy
    These are VERY powerful if a woman has these things for a man.
    Thanks Matthew, always an inspiration for my channel.

    • @brendakafula7135
      @brendakafula7135 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thanks Mathew looking forward to find one who elf commit

    • @RAE-homely-fairy-of-the-light
      @RAE-homely-fairy-of-the-light 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      They are great tips! Took a screen shot, cheers

    • @stayslickwithkit
      @stayslickwithkit 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@RAE-homely-fairy-of-the-light You're welcome!

    • @vylet2292
      @vylet2292 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      And you can be all these things and it still won't happen if he's not happy with himself.

    • @oemj7147
      @oemj7147 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@vylet2292 It has nothing to do with him not being happy with himself. That's mumbo jumbo. A man doesn't commit when:
      1. He's a player.
      2. He thinks you're not attractive enough to be his girlfriend.... obvious sign being that he doesn't introduce you to friends and family
      3. He believes you are "easy".
      Any other reason will be a made up excuse.

  • @voiceactor7951
    @voiceactor7951 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    That moment when you realize you're doing all the right things just with the wrong people...

    • @chaz7604
      @chaz7604 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yeah people and their peace drive me a bit up the wall tbf. I always watch out for those who say they want no drama… life is drama. And most of the time they’re looking for a barbie doll in a box. They have all the “crazy” exes… want their peace but don’t bring any to their SO. Shove petroleum on a burning match and let it burn into flames and wonder what the fuck is going on when it explodes…
      There is a masculinity crisis and it’s a shambles. First things first… women are women. We are hormonal. We are emotional. And if you want mystery and allure and desire and passion, as well as loyalty and commitment and stability - recognise that it comes at a fair price and please try and understand the opposite sex. Not repress us so much into a state of zen submission that we end up emotionally exhausted and drained but hide it and die of cancer at 48 cos it had to come out somewhere.
      Being the perfect woman shouldn’t cost you your sanity just for a man who is less than. Oftentimes when women fulfil this ideal role for men, they are often decreasing inside and usually end up being the dude’s therapist or mother. It’s a shocker what lengths people are going to in order to find love.

    • @annemme
      @annemme 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thank you for sharing. It happened something similar to me, but he's surely an avoidant. It's difficult to bring peace to someone who doesn't the same with you. They are fine with you at the beginning, but it is not sufficient. I was SO proudly vulnerable and he treated me poorly anyway. My exciting vision of sharing with love seemed to be an alien planet to this man. My standards were told but he found his ways to skip them and when we are in love it's not easy to keep boundaries.

  • @adrianamanta291
    @adrianamanta291 2 ปีที่แล้ว +80

    When I see my dating app full of messages I don’t get excited I actually get tired..:)

    • @ramparkash2318
      @ramparkash2318 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Adriana Manta. Why you get tired.?

    • @ramparkash2318
      @ramparkash2318 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Adriana Manta. Good morning. Have a great day.

    • @autumnhood672
      @autumnhood672 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Same!! It takes so much energy 😅

    • @bl7817
      @bl7817 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@ramparkash2318 you've already exhausted me.

    • @bl7817
      @bl7817 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@ramparkash2318 guys like you.

  • @MyvMeow
    @MyvMeow 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Picking up quickly that the guy I was dating was dismissive avoidant, I made a point to keep everything peaceful and conflict/drama-free in our interactions, especially so when he was the first to be vulnerable with me and I soothed him after the fact. Although, it was difficult creating an exciting vision for the relationship when we were both homebodies and I worried that talking too much of a future together so early on would scare him away. Communicating standards didn't happen much either, as he seemed to naturally have all the same ones as I did. That is, until he ended things over text 2 and a half months in, during a time when it felt like things had seemingly been going really well between us. He blamed it on an external life change (which seems in line with what's said here about not being able to blame it on me due to only bringing him peace) but when I gave him the benefit of the doubt (against my better judgment, I guess) and opted to leave the door open for the future, I never got a response. He really seemed like a perfect match for me before that. Oh well.

    • @arighttobeheard
      @arighttobeheard 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Better is on the way, he was wonderful, but not 'the one', he's coming and you'll be glad the old one made space for him 💜

    • @nancyinthegarden3160
      @nancyinthegarden3160 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You stated he was dismissive avoidant and it seems to me that’s why he broke it off. It was too much for him to handle that he might be becoming attached bc that’s the worst arrangement. They do not relate well so it may have literally scared him. My husband does this when he’s feeling close. It’s obvious now but wasn’t back when our children were little.

    • @carmenkamberos1156
      @carmenkamberos1156 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Most men don’t commit easily, specially if they’re young. They are like peacocks looking on how to attract as many women as they can. They are mostly inmature and don’t have a need to commit. Too many free women around… if you can get the milk for free, why buy the cow mentality. Moral standards and life principles too low nowadays. Men mostly mature and look for commitment after 38 or so… Be well
      And blessings from above.

    • @Mayfloweralways
      @Mayfloweralways ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Being a bit older now, I can honestly say that all this analysis of a person’s personality and attachment style is pointless. Most people will raise the bar for someone they truly are attracted to and respect I’m a terribly disorganized person. My boyfriend isn’t. I’ve been inspired to really see the beauty in things and presenting things at their best. He DID not want to feel like he was losing his independence and didn’t see himself getting serious. But he has. We just spent the holidays at each others family’s. It’s two very different examples of how habits and feelings change when you just approach things with the idea that honesty, respect, and yes, some chemistry are all you really need to worry about. Plenty of wrong guys will leave, but the right one will stay.

    • @sansadrake4133
      @sansadrake4133 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Mayfloweralways yeah his fears outweighed what he felt for op. But when it's the other way around as in feelings are stronger than the fears, it can be overcome

  • @thelanguageofthebirds
    @thelanguageofthebirds 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The dopamine cycle doesn’t work for me anymore. I have adhd and dopamine is never going to be enough. It took 3 decades for me to understand that dopamine/impulsive reward of the sensory/neurological brain path. The last year I have come far to see these dopamine cycles are a dead end. Oh as I wrote that, you mentioned the part of people who are sick of the cycle. Bless. I’m here for it :)

  • @HolliCMcCormick1
    @HolliCMcCormick1 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Seeking peace is something women want as well

  • @nathangatchalian
    @nathangatchalian 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Is it weird that I'm a guy and I relate to so much of this? I stumbled upon your channel because I was going through a rough patch. Thanks so much for all the insights and thoughts.

    • @carmenkamberos1156
      @carmenkamberos1156 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Feelings of love and commitment in a relationship are asexual. They’re neutral, it applies to both genders.

  • @vibratac
    @vibratac 2 ปีที่แล้ว +247

    Matthew, I married the guy who carefully considered all the variables before he committed and we’re so happy 😊! I had been following your advice for about a year when we started dating and I continued doing things like communicating my standards etc. He still loves to remark with pride about my standards, he just loves it. I plan to continue following your advice forever, even now after he’s fully committed. The part about “peace” is ABSOLUTELY KEY. Your best advice yet. So well said. I let him walk away a few times and even walked away myself, but not with anger, and we still wanted to be together so that made it easy to cross the divide every time. Big ups to you and your brother and congrats on your own relationship success, you clearly earned it!! *smooch*

    • @youyoua988
      @youyoua988 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Lucky people that you found each other! I’m dating a nightmare right now, hate having to keep looking for a better match other than trying to fix this one.

    • @slavenanikolova6260
      @slavenanikolova6260 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@youyoua988 Just stop waisting your time with the nightmare guy, give yourself the love, time and attention you need to recover from him and get ready to find yourself a dream guy. 🎶 I know it's easier said than done but if you're too busy fixing someone, you'll be unavailable to look around and notice what's better or if someone cool approaches you you'll be too distracted with the wrong guy to be available for the dude. Good luck 👍

    • @RMB5775
      @RMB5775 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      You will never “fix” anyone. Move on.

    • @nicolewinters
      @nicolewinters ปีที่แล้ว

      Okay is this guy coming back to me or not 😊

    • @morganpageofficial
      @morganpageofficial ปีที่แล้ว

      @vibratac can you share how you communicated your standards and what they were? Ive always given too much of myself in past relationships and now that I've grown into a deeper love for myself and self worth. I have met someone new that I like and would like to do it better than before now. I have definitely learned boundaries at this point in my life but would love your opinion/advice. Thanks.

  • @rartinderkaur3499
    @rartinderkaur3499 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Hi Sir ... Absolutely grt and appreciation for the subject matter . You must see the reward of relationship is not what you get ,but who you become in the process .It's an act of service to bring your whole self to the relationship with the expressions of all the -ve thoughts and feelings inside you .This is a trust to a man that's a greater gift where you choose to no longer see through the lens of insecurities instead allow him to create the best version of himself .Honour sovernity in the relationship everyday single day ,it open the path to happiness that inspire each other that makes them whole and complete with strength and faults .Thanks Sir for Everything .Much Care and Regards 💝

  • @lizclarke-hippsley2166
    @lizclarke-hippsley2166 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I’ve been with my man 6 weeks. We are both in our 40’s. He has committed recently but as we get older we know sooner what we want and what is real. He was the one that wanted the commitment public-ally xxx

  • @javanesemystic
    @javanesemystic 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Thank you 🙏🏼🙏🏼
    I didn't realise it was so easy (except for the setting boundaries part that makes me nervous haha). I have shown symptoms of Asperger's (i have never had a long-term boyfriend before) so videos like this are very helpful. Have a beautiful weekend 🤍🤍⚡🌟💫✨

  • @gianshant
    @gianshant 2 ปีที่แล้ว +112

    Peace and vulnerability can make any type of relationship so deep and meaningful, thanks for sharing with us

  • @ronzalpha
    @ronzalpha 2 ปีที่แล้ว +216

    I absolutely love the fact that this addresses and reassures guys too. I've been in too many dates and flimsy relationships where women are afraid to commit because they always compare me with other guys and immediately hop on to "the next best" any time i show signs of vulnerabilities. Dating apps have ruined courtship. It really sucks but I'm glad I'm not alone

    • @belleccino
      @belleccino 2 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      As a woman, I say don’t go looking for love .. focus on you, heal any trauma you have, try to be the partner that you always dream of finding and then love will find you unexpectedly.

    • @nunya5270
      @nunya5270 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@majrminer IDK what types of women you and men with your mindset are dating but surely we all must take responsibility for who we're choosing to try to date. It's easy to tell if someone is shallow on the first meeting with them. Even in chat. If you're chasing the gorgeous woman all the time, you might expect her to be superficial if she's the type that needs tons of makeup and clothing to accentuate her "beauty". But I suppose that's type of woman that most men seek. If a female is high maintenance, she will likely seek a partner who has money, unless she has her own.
      I'm always seeking men of substance but seem to only have my inboxes and DMs full of men who only are DTF. Yes, women may have a buttload of dudes hitting her up, but all women will be selective due to that. Thus, the men we respond to are the one's were visually attracted to first, then, we chat to find out their personality and what they're looking for. We seek compatibility and we move on quickly to the next if it's not there. It's that simple.
      IDK many women gold digging but I do know it's a plus if a man has a good job and healthy lifestyle. Isn't that what we all want?
      Guys have told me I have "potential" to be their future gf or life partner but then run off with the shiny, hot chick they see. -the issue goes both ways.
      Another example, after becoming pregnant, a woman's personality often changes a bit because of the crazy hormones raging in her body. Men often become frustrated with these changes and unwilling to stay with her to work it out. There's little sense of loyalty in relationships anymore it seems, and it's hard to find someone who is DEDICATED to a LIFETIME of putting in REAL work into the relationship EVEN WHEN YOU NO LONGER WANT TO OR DESIRE TO. Ppl just quit on each other when it gets too hard.
      But do men give up on their career goals when it's too hard? No. Do they stop working on their workout routines when they don't want to? No.
      People need to realize that if they want a relationship to last, they need to put the same amount of dedication into building and maintaining those relationships.
      Sadly, I find that most men are unwilling to be vulnerable enough with a woman, and to face their fears. They're refusing to FEEL and face their past traumas in order to heal. When we heal, we're going to recognize the fake from the real ones.
      Anyway, that's my take on all that.

    • @StyleLessMicks
      @StyleLessMicks 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@belleccino This is a great answer... It is a softer version of the opinion a youtuber (entrepeneurs in cars) has, that you have to chase excellence, especially as a man.

    • @kayleencoward2442
      @kayleencoward2442 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hi Ronzalpha...i feel exactly the same way...lets be friends!

    • @Daniela.Mccaffrey
      @Daniela.Mccaffrey ปีที่แล้ว

      Showing that you are sensitive

  • @valentinanocross8677
    @valentinanocross8677 2 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    This is exactly what I have been experiencing , so I know this as the truth now about relationships. I didn't master these skills alone or over night. But finally and of course when the other person has done the work makes this possible and stop dating people who aren't in a growth mindset.

    • @j.p.4658
      @j.p.4658 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Omg, exactly! You hit the nail with the growth mindset

  • @largolagrande
    @largolagrande 2 ปีที่แล้ว +293

    One of the problems with Dating is, it's hard to get a know a single person long enough to look for all those things.

    • @seeexy
      @seeexy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      that era of human life, thats y where we are.

    • @CrystalDatingCoach
      @CrystalDatingCoach 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Stop TEXTING. Start talking!

    • @NicoleElissaLoveCoach
      @NicoleElissaLoveCoach 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      What makes it stop before it reaches there ?

    • @meriembengana787
      @meriembengana787 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Not if your aware!

    • @youyoua988
      @youyoua988 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Exactly!!! They don’t give you enough time to get to know them, they don’t put enough effort so makeup by giving them too much and they still don’t care.

  • @stayhappylittlemermaid
    @stayhappylittlemermaid 2 ปีที่แล้ว +143

    Be nice and smile to everyone you meet. You don't know what they are going through and they may need that smile and treasure it

    • @Babesinthewood97
      @Babesinthewood97 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I agree

    • @skink84
      @skink84 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Some can see something negative even in a try to smile and be nice. Have had some rant about that "sneer" you gave them. Then again, I might not have the greatest smile :)

    • @zenarodriguez23
      @zenarodriguez23 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Yes!!!!! A relationship could start with admiration and gratitude

    • @TheRalphie2020
      @TheRalphie2020 ปีที่แล้ว

      ❤❤❤

    • @higherheights1257
      @higherheights1257 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Will do love that

  • @bettywinn8296
    @bettywinn8296 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    This is an amazing reading. Thank you!
    I just wrote down all 4 things you said. I really needed this advice. Perfect timing. This is my first time checking out your video. So much "wisdom." Women need to know what you just shared. You're the man! Great info!❤️

  • @maddyG7414
    @maddyG7414 2 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    As someone who suddenly committed to my boyfriend after being unsure, I can say that all of these are very accurate. I’ve also been the one hoping for commitment, and I can say that majority of the time, waiting isn’t a good idea.

  • @literallyjen
    @literallyjen 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Men are like cabs.. when they're available, their light goes on and the next woman they meet, they'll commit. It's about timing.

  • @mellyemerson479
    @mellyemerson479 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    He melts me I melt him he has driven me
    to absolutely craziness at times but I’ve calmly explained why. At 44 I’ve learned to to this from past relationships. He is a pure gentleman and I’m absolutely sure he has broken a lot of past walls from being hurt in relationships. He is ready to commit because he told me so. I’m ready

    • @p.schmid9631
      @p.schmid9631 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That sounds awesome! 😊

  • @deec411
    @deec411 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I’d love to give someone special “a soft place to fall” as Dr Phil says 😉 and I want someone to do the same for me ❤️

  • @ana-mariagodja5221
    @ana-mariagodja5221 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Dear Mattew, your videos and advice have helped me a lot in the last period to understand myself and men better! thank you very much!

  • @nag8531
    @nag8531 2 ปีที่แล้ว +126

    Wow! This video really touched me. I have done all of this but still, my relationship failed. My ex broke up with me out of nowhere and honestly, I have nothing bad to say about him or our relationship. I’m now watching this video because he came back after 2 months of no contact saying he bought some gifts for me. he brought them to my place and we saw each other, he apologized for how he ended things abruptly and said he cares about me and he wanted to show me that and let me know I’m a wonderful and strong woman. I told him he needs to figure out what he wants and what is going on with him and tears came out of his eyes. Honestly, after watching this video I can tell he walked away because of him because he needs to work on himself but I don’t know if he ever will come back :( and just thinking about made me sad and heartbroken because I love him but I do respect his decision.

    • @NicoleElissaLoveCoach
      @NicoleElissaLoveCoach 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Much love and blessings I feel this 💛💛

    • @MarjoleinKeijser
      @MarjoleinKeijser 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Sending you love and hugs

    • @vhayashi7369
      @vhayashi7369 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      He sounds like a narcissist. That's what they do and I've experienced it with my ex husband left me cold with babies. It hurts.

    • @asnoopy
      @asnoopy ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Nah, he doesn't deserve you.

    • @hej2800
      @hej2800 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      late love bombing. make sure you have a support system independent of her m

  • @vaganzani
    @vaganzani ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Matt and Steve, thank you for this thought provoking content. I like the concepts and thoughts which were shared in the video. There is a depth, wisdom and different ways of thinking in looking at how we can be the person who we are looking for. Thank you Steven and Matt

  • @helenzielasek1812
    @helenzielasek1812 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    IT IS so helpful Mat I think I have found Someone... I Just feel Peace with and I could Love in a Long Term. 🌸💛 Thank you for sharing such depth Insights. I Love your Postcast. IT makes me grow in a couple of months. Thank you

  • @gabrielaraimondo2430
    @gabrielaraimondo2430 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Well me with my boyfriend had peace... he even told me I gave him peace! But he did whatever with our relationship... deceived me, lied to me and started coming in and out... I got hurt and angry Yesss and I put a limit to our relationship... Now it looks he would like to come back but I don't see him changed... really... unless he opens his heart again to me and stops listening to his toxic friends and family... I won't go back... He needs to grow up... I thought I was with a man now I realize he is a child...😞 so now I'll see what he comes up with next...
    I really love him but I'm not his mother... And he's stubborn anyway because we have talked about these things...

    • @carmenkamberos1156
      @carmenkamberos1156 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      It seems you’re stuck! No good. Call it quits! No need to struggle for no one. Show that fellow you have dignity, which counts above all. Blessings from above.

  • @ellisburton8733
    @ellisburton8733 2 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Keep yourself strong, be clear about your boundaries and if someone 'suddenly commits' try not to get carried away. They're gonna have to capable of putting work in to get 'there'. Plus if it turns out they can't, it's way harder to get out if you live together than if you separately. Also beware highly narcissistic people, it will start great and end up mega disasterous.

  • @Natures_Heart-BEATS
    @Natures_Heart-BEATS 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I’m writing notes to learn my habits!!

  • @juliaskagfjord6207
    @juliaskagfjord6207 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Can I ask a question? Is that passion of falling in intense love something related to younger people like 20s and up to 35 or so, and then 35 and over is when you become more cerebral and practical in your love choices? Just wondering if this is a thing as I notice in myself as being older, I refuse to fall for a guy just because he is hot as I am seeking a deeper mental compatiblity at the outset and not driven by animal lust

  • @lifewithlexy7081
    @lifewithlexy7081 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Anyone here who has advice for dating the 'sober' committed man. Because the relationship has felt sober for 6 months. Moments of connection. And it almost feels like I need to push for the next level. Its commitment but it's not like we know if this is a commitment we want for long term

    • @carmenkamberos1156
      @carmenkamberos1156 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You should have a conversation with the sober man … if he agrees and commit, fine. If not, move on… at least you’ll know his true intentions.

  • @rechellebogle2465
    @rechellebogle2465 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    I have been doing this for years, having a trusting relationship, doing fun things, showing my standards, and being peaceful without drama. I hit roadblocks or get ghosted. I don’t get it. I’m not as vulnerable about past relationships and my hardships, because it’s in the past. I always believed, I can’t change the past so move on to today. Who wants to talk about past relationships, I try to enjoy the day and time now. What am I doing wrong here? I am getting to the point that I don’t trust that anyone will stay.

    • @TheBestOfLisaRenee
      @TheBestOfLisaRenee 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Being vulnerable doesn’t necessarily mean you need to share past experiences. There are other ways of making oneself vulnerable, but honestly I believe the problem is with the culture through television programming and social media. People are not grounded and are unable to truly connect to others as they should. It’s a sin problem.

    • @astrogirllll
      @astrogirllll 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      It’s them, not you. You’re doing great

  • @faizahanif9515
    @faizahanif9515 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    A woman can't really bring the peace into a relationship if it was not something she was getting from her surroundings and parents. Most angry women have faced a great deal in life. So guys need to understand this instead of making it a marker for not committing.

  • @kathleenouellette7202
    @kathleenouellette7202 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you, this is perfect timing!

  • @lindsayhartman7135
    @lindsayhartman7135 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    The culture has us addicted to the dopamine cycle.

  • @Account-br9kc
    @Account-br9kc 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I highly disagree with point on peacefulness, it gives off alpha male strategies forcing women to be submissive type of vibe. You should always be who you are and never act. Peaceful relation is two way street always!

  • @jenniferssbenn8843
    @jenniferssbenn8843 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    So many are so traumatise from all the narcissist abuse they went through during their seperation. Healing is highly required.

  • @amratakaithwar8179
    @amratakaithwar8179 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks to you and your brother 😍

  • @sarayasminechiheb9129
    @sarayasminechiheb9129 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you matthew ❤️

  • @nataliasivova
    @nataliasivova 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I want to say with all of my heart BIG THANKs to you.. I randomly came across your video in here a couple of days before and instantly i fell into your big and warm heart with which you present your stories and into your enormous amount of wisdom and broadmindness..I can't stop watching your videos now because they give me so much power and the feeling of calmness and hope in this such a wild world, you literally heal my soul with your word, so you are definately doing a great job, may God bless you:)

    • @ramparkash2318
      @ramparkash2318 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Natalia Sivova. Ur words are so soothing.

    • @ramparkash2318
      @ramparkash2318 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Natalia Sivova..Ur saying absolutely right. I'm agree with your words. Really beautiful viedo nice content nd sweet voice. .

  • @alexburokiene7483
    @alexburokiene7483 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Sometime.. most of the time people come just for that peace… leaving us drained…. So hard to find someone those 4 points apply to.. thank you.. lots of love ❤️💕❤️

    • @strictlyonvacation8860
      @strictlyonvacation8860 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      This is so true! I try to give as much safe space and peace as possible to this guy I’m currently dating, and he said “I can be myself around you.”
      But the moment I showed my vulnerabilities, he started pushing me around.😅😅
      Is he the only one allowed to be himself in this relationship and I’m not…???

    • @carmenkamberos1156
      @carmenkamberos1156 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      That peace has to be felt by both of you. It’s about sharing equally.

  • @australisart
    @australisart 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is such a wonderful and broad way of explaining the journey of possibly having the power in the moment to run with a relationship. And what to look for in terms of what we want to run to. I have found love dropped in my life very fast and very quickly. Especially in terms of how the other person felt. I realized how much I had a tin man heart, and how I had to recover from it. I have a choice to make that is for sure. And when I saw this video it got me really optimistic about running forward! Not only does this person seem to want to be patient in my trauma undoing and personal involvement, they want to build with me , and this video helped me have the strength to definitely possibly let down my guard and go forward! Thank you so much for pulling so much wisdom out of your pocket in terms of love and sharing it with the world. 😎💫💥🦋 ~Aurora Borealis 💫Sunboundlady

  • @a.d.7922
    @a.d.7922 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    since when dating became so complicated? somehow the humanity has managed to survive for centuries without self-help books, youtube videos and internet

  • @titanimagalasi5139
    @titanimagalasi5139 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    1. Having an excitement vision of what our relationship will look like.
    2. Showing vulnerability
    3. Communicating standards
    4. Bring them peace

  • @mastermindslt1982
    @mastermindslt1982 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Wondering what's the men to women ratio of viewers on this channel 🤔

  • @hildautria3851
    @hildautria3851 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great topic. Tu

  • @mzSte
    @mzSte ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Points start at 5:13
    Thank me later

  • @annabellacrewe8858
    @annabellacrewe8858 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thanks so much❤

  • @astrogirllll
    @astrogirllll 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Love your advice, it’s better to take care of ourselves and in the process attract someone who resonates with that energy.

  • @irinaifraimova4327
    @irinaifraimova4327 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Stay in love being loved have a good love have good love amazing love stay in love being loved great love happy love healthy loves my friends

  • @irinaifraimova4327
    @irinaifraimova4327 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    God bless you have a good blessing over your life how amazing blessings stay healthy be healthy have good mind good heart good love good job good body healthy Praying for my friends lives longs times
    Praying for irina ifraimova lives longs times

  • @katsaysyes
    @katsaysyes 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Don’t laugh but a way that I feel vulnerable around people is too pretend I’m naked 😝

  • @irinaifraimova4327
    @irinaifraimova4327 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    How are you today my friends I hope you have a great day today and I hope you feeling much better and I hope you have a good health no more sickness

  • @finallysmile
    @finallysmile 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    How do you communicate the first step - having an exciting vision - to someone you are not yet commited with? Like how does that work in practice. One thing is having it, another is showing it without it being ... sales-like?

    • @carmenkamberos1156
      @carmenkamberos1156 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      My dear, without commitment how could there be a vision for the future? If a guy does not commit after 2 or 3 years, never mind, time to have a serious conversation. If no commitment, time to quit. They’re plainly not interested in you seriously. Quitting time. Harsh but true. Blessings from above..

    • @lnaph
      @lnaph ปีที่แล้ว

      Just tell t4hm what you envision that 4elatio shipt o look like... jot eith them, but with that guy who will be right for you one day. Its okay to share your vision

  • @MizzSweetTe
    @MizzSweetTe 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I dating someone now, it’s been 7 months and he waiting on that “feeling” to overtake him before he commits 🤷🏿‍♀️🤦🏿‍♀️

  • @hgfw9295
    @hgfw9295 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Personally I'm not in a limbo. I dated to marry so this is what I'm having. However. I know many many people who struggle with a limbo stage. I think this guide will be mostly needed in the modern dating scene.

    • @carmenkamberos1156
      @carmenkamberos1156 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Good, you have a purpose, if not, why date someone? Blessings from above.

  • @irinaifraimova4327
    @irinaifraimova4327 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I'm praying for a good healthy blessing over your life blessing over your love life blessing you over your financial blessing blessing over your job blessing over your good health stay healthy be healthy have amazing healthys
    Happy new life

  • @excelself
    @excelself 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Cos they lost their purpose.
    “Are you going thru a hard time or are you depressed” Jordan b Peterson
    It’s true I once lost my purpose and now I got it back but back then I really thought I had nothing to live for since a lot of men don’t see themselves as something it live for.

  • @SliceofCheeze
    @SliceofCheeze 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    it's true, as a guy this will definitely make me commit, but I've been burned way too many times in relationships that I'm tired of trusting, not sure how to fix that even though it's a new girl

    • @mellasike98
      @mellasike98 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You did nothing wrong. It does hurt when you put your trust on someone you have grown to care for deeply. but we have to accept the fact that we can't control people's mind, thoughts and actions, we can only control ours, so when others do wrong, out of our expectations, it'stheir own choice. Remember that expectation leads to disappointment, so don't expect too much from anyone. Just be yourself and if they did not appreciate your loyalty and love you shown, let them go, it just means they aren't for you. When wrong things happens, see it as a good thing so you can let go of that person in order for the right one to come. There is someone for everyone. let go of the past and know that not everyone is the same. You have to let go of the past in order to move on to the future if you really want to have a brighter one. The right one that is compatible for you will come in it's time. No matter what, never blame yourself or blame others for someone else's mistake.

    • @gabrielaraimondo2430
      @gabrielaraimondo2430 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      The key is trusting again... We ALL have been deceived but we have to keep believing...❤

    • @susanharris5416
      @susanharris5416 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Sorry to hear that, I think it would be important to remember that the new girl is not the last girl.
      I'm in a wonderful new relationship after my divorce and sometimes he is shocked that I want to get married again. My answer is always the same " Every man is not the same"
      Happy dating

    • @juliekrol
      @juliekrol 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Wipe every slate clean. If you hold on to past hurts, you’ll end up hurting someone that wouldn’t have hurt you, and the cycle will continue 😊

    • @carmenkamberos1156
      @carmenkamberos1156 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Your heart and soul will tell you which one is the right one to commit with. And do some homework: same values, same principles, dignity, same vision , brings you joy , love and peace? That’s the one!!! Blessings from above

  • @livelaughlove6387
    @livelaughlove6387 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    It may be a "new guide" but if you have other material from Matt the guide isn't anything new at all. It's the same info he has in other downloads.

  • @hedychan23
    @hedychan23 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I just say goodbye to a guy we met on the dating app for almost a year because I feel he doesn’t want to invest in me every since he told me he met in person with a girl he met a little before me and I feel I can’t stand anymore ,hearing him saying he likes her and she flew to America from Taiwan ( same I’m Taiwanese ) for him I doubt then why he matched me and put me in this situation,we even had gifts exchanged sort of things seems it could be real but since he won’t and doesn’t want to do the quarantine in the pandemic I smell his narcissistic somehow that’s why I think we probably won’t have any opportunity to meet so I decided to wake up from this dream. Hurt so bad
    Ps. I knew he texted multiple girls at the time we met too.

    • @carmenkamberos1156
      @carmenkamberos1156 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Congratulations! You did the right thing. Plenty of fish in the ocean to waste your time with someone who doesn’t care abt you. God bless.

  • @carmelapatricellorca7783
    @carmelapatricellorca7783 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Just wondering if you have any advise regarding Online LDR (since COVID happened). How do I get out of this situationship? We've been talking for almost a year now (he initially connected with me because he is travelling to my country) but has delayed his trip departure.
    disclaimer:
    We met in FetLife (if you're familiar) and we've been mutually...discreet-ish with our particular details..
    Hope you see this.. I've been a fan for 3 years now! :)

  • @rubyjane3063
    @rubyjane3063 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank youuuuuuu

  • @kylevanderross37
    @kylevanderross37 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I recently had to face this addiction in myself when my gf found a dating app on my phone. I didn't care about meeting anyone or engaging in cheating. I just enjoyed the dopamine of the options and vanity of the likes.
    Seeing how much that affected her and realizing that she meant more than that instant gratification really knocked me down a peg. Still doing my utmost to gain her trust back completely but she's absolutely worth it.

    • @bmastro4009
      @bmastro4009 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Your ego and lack of discipline needs to addressed 1.

    • @lnaph
      @lnaph ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Give her full access total transparency if you want to regain her trust or that distrust will never be dealt with.

  • @carmelabguanzon4514
    @carmelabguanzon4514 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Hi Matt
    God bless you always
    Hopefully if you can answer my questions
    It’s okay to fall in love to the Yang men than me like 20 years gaps
    Can you please answer me🙏

  • @kiwaochelli
    @kiwaochelli ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I fuckin love you Matthew. You communicate in such a good way, I love your videos. Keep up the good work! 👍🏽

  • @WhiteAngelLovesEarth
    @WhiteAngelLovesEarth 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    nothing exciting about dating

  • @RAE-homely-fairy-of-the-light
    @RAE-homely-fairy-of-the-light 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Lol I'm kind of dopamine dead atm lol☺️

  • @adrianamanta291
    @adrianamanta291 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    It can also be a 3rd person who is scared to be alone or lives in fears and base his decisions on fears ..all those negative thoughts that makes that person rush into it

  • @stawbury7413
    @stawbury7413 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Women get dating coaches like Matthew Hussy. Men get dating coaches like Andrew Tate. 😔

  • @brandyhousemedia9042
    @brandyhousemedia9042 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Are you available. I don't date because everything seems so "instant gratification.

  • @michealanthony2706
    @michealanthony2706 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    U great guy dude matthew

  • @tejaswinimahesh1211
    @tejaswinimahesh1211 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Matthew can you do a series for married or engaged people or divorcees. This may be slightly more challenging I suppose because family is involved.
    Is microflirting detrimental to marriage? It may cause serious insecurity....

  • @iotu6745
    @iotu6745 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Does It work also with a 10 year old younger man?

  • @jacquelyncochran7966
    @jacquelyncochran7966 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I can't get the website.

  • @justagurl555
    @justagurl555 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I’ve been listening to you for years Matt. I’m still single💋

  • @minjeongkim7163
    @minjeongkim7163 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I hope everyone here find the one🙏

  • @sushmasinha8054
    @sushmasinha8054 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I was in middle of my chemistry exam , same day in-laws came , I gave them sweets ,then they selected me, but the groom didn’t see till after marriage (1979 arrange marriage)

    • @carmenkamberos1156
      @carmenkamberos1156 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      How awful! Sorry for you. This kind of customs should be vanished!!!

  • @Kmahersh01
    @Kmahersh01 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I was all those things. I finally left because he couldn’t commit after 4.5 years together. I’m done with dating. It’s a total waste of life.

  • @vesnavukadinovic
    @vesnavukadinovic 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Dear Mathew, I did listen but didnt hear any of your advices, on the other side you are excellent when it comes to trouble with sleaping. Lovely voice

    • @ramparkash2318
      @ramparkash2318 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Vesna Vukadinovic. You are saying absolutely right.i.m agree with your words.

  • @BarbaraMarch444
    @BarbaraMarch444 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you Matthew, you have amazing advices and videos, thanks for all that you share 🙏✨♡🥰

  • @susane945
    @susane945 ปีที่แล้ว

    I think the world is just full of really jaded, hurt, broken people, and also jerks who just want to be players, and treat women like crap. If he won't commit it just means he's not worth your time. Move on!

  • @FlyingDressStThomas
    @FlyingDressStThomas 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Very true!!!! Thank you for making this video!

  • @Emily-ne8zf
    @Emily-ne8zf 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    It's such an inspiring video thank you sir 😊
    May i ask sir, can you make a video of having insecurity with boyfriend going out every weekend? Long story short, I've been dating with this guy for over a year now and it's Long distance relationship! our relationship is the most amazing, beautiful, incredible for both of us and recently all of a sudden his been going out for parties every weekend and when he calls me or face time his love, care still the same but then again i feel a little insecure about it and his like 'its boys night' but then when he post on Instagram/ Facebook there's always girls involved. So I am bit confused 😐

    • @carmenkamberos1156
      @carmenkamberos1156 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Emily, just plainly, drop him! He’s not serious abt you. Plenty of fish in the ocean. Blessings

  • @waterlilynymph
    @waterlilynymph 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This video makes me think it would be fun to date Matt Hussey 😉

  • @Bianca-sw5id
    @Bianca-sw5id ปีที่แล้ว

    Fascinating 👏 Matthew 🙂🥰 💐 ❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I am so grateful someone finally thought 🤔 of this needing to be explained , because even these men avoid acknowledging it ; men are avoiders mmmmmmmm-?

  • @dianesalisbury2
    @dianesalisbury2 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Since my divorce 8 years ago that casual hook up, friends with benefits relationships are all I seem to be running into. It's been a huge problem for me. So in the meam time I've been working on my internal happiness and focusing in on what I really need and want to be happy and I realized that what your talking about is what I've been trying to get to. I'm not openly searching for anyone right now, but I feel that if somebody comes along that is open for something deeper, I'm ready! Not perfect, not looking for perfect..., just more secure with me and how I can verbalize, communicate, and work together as a pair.

  • @heat.seeker
    @heat.seeker 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Fucking BROADCAST that point 4. I will move heaven and earth for a woman who can just fucking communicate and bring peace. Teaching women to fucking meditate should be on every school's syllabus.

    • @dumfriesspearhead7398
      @dumfriesspearhead7398 13 วันที่ผ่านมา

      "Teaching women to f---k--g meditate...." Sounds like you're bringing chaos and anger to the party. Guys, you DESTROY any peace a woman is foolish enough to bring to you.

  • @VI0LET101
    @VI0LET101 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I needed this so much. Thank you.

  • @Piggy255
    @Piggy255 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This video is so true!
    My bf had been single for four years. He want his next relationship to become the last one. In his single seasons, he dated some girls but never got into a relationship.
    Until he met me. We have these four qualities in our relationship. We officially dating after a month you met. He give me his phone location, password. Show is love everyday.

  • @mollywright9782
    @mollywright9782 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for this video it has really helped
    Me!! ❤️❤️

  • @aariel2234
    @aariel2234 ปีที่แล้ว

    💕❤️💕 I can't thank you enough for this video and your guide. You've changed my life!!! Thank you!!!❤❤❤

  • @thelanguageofthebirds
    @thelanguageofthebirds 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    It’s Friday morning at 5:52 am and I just had a long lush self care bath.
    Now I’m sitting here in my lace lingerie and ready to take photos or videos for prospective suitor.
    I’ve decided to come here to understand commitment.

  • @sylvialee6655
    @sylvialee6655 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    it's actually not free?!

    • @bianca-mhteam6237
      @bianca-mhteam6237 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hey Sylvia! If you're having issues downloading the free guide, please email our Support Team at support@howtogettheguy.com and they'll be happy to help you out.

  • @anitaclarke9957
    @anitaclarke9957 ปีที่แล้ว

    Absolutely dead on,,,your delivery is extremely accurate,,,thank you!😎