Should I Pay For My Kid's College Or Make Them Do It?
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My parents paid for my tuition 100% and bought me my first car as well. I worked PT just to get some experiences and let me tell you, I was able to save close to 100K by 25. Very grateful for my parents giving me a head start in life. I have a son now, and we set up an education fund for him since he was born.
We did the same thing for our daughter including room and board, meals and other personal expenses. We also bought her brand new Toyota Camry top model as a graduation gift for her. After she graduated from college, we did not charge her rent or foods at all even thought she got a good paid job. We wanted her to be debt free and save money for her future life so we told her to live with us as long as she wanted but she decided to move out after a year living with us. We were glad that we helped her to build a good life.
@@joannanguyen5594wow that’s amazing
I can't stand the "must be nice" comments. Super annoying, and this is coming from someone who had nothing handed to me. The mindset is pathetic.
Exactly. If you don’t like it, then do better for your kids (and watch when everyone calls your kids “privileged”)
It's only annoying when you allow it to be. The people who say that are poor and drowning in victimhood. I just respond with, "Yeah, I made it that way."
I came from exactly the same background you did, right there with ya
@@Bighomiezombo huh?
Yup. No work ethic
My parents paid my college expenses assuming I achieved a GPA they deemed was acceptable. One semester I didn’t get the grades and I owed that money!
I like that
my parents should have done that with me lol
Besides the debt... it makes sense because if you waste a semester then you are wasting money
I really really like that
Great idea...this seems fair.
Personally I have my kids 529s, UGMAs, and setting them up a Roths next year. I am all about giving them every advantage I can manage, however a financial education is the best gift I can give, and that includes leading by example.
You're a wonderful parent! My parents were not able to give me anything except for some bad examples of financial intelligence.
Leading by example is the best teaching method.
I’ve been saving for my children’s education my whole life. My parents did the same for me, their parents did the same for them.
Pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp
I worked 30 hrs/week during college and got a 3.7GPA in Chemical Engineering. Doing it yourself is an amazing experience and gives you a complete sense of self-worth
Had to pay for my own college. It would have been a huge blessing if my parents could have paid for my college. I’m an RN now, married and both my wife and I work. I went to a local small college for my BSN which saved money. I was also able to stay at home since the school was so close by. Anyone who has parents that can pay for their college should jump at the opportunity.
I'm pretty similar going for my BSN currently at a smaller school. I will be in debt after graduation but it will be an amount that I can pay off in a year. For my kids I would want to be able to cover college but Dave's approach is definitely good.
jonl1319 same, ill be 20k in debt when I graduate nursing school . I’m hoping to beans and rice my first year working and pay it off completely
Smart
You can become a nurse by going to community college
I saved 1600 before 20 for college paying rent and food since I was 16. I was wise with my money and I lived frugal and enjoyed a clean diet. I’m 21 n want my children to work and learn struggle they will have my help but I’m not their bank. If they fail they are the ones to take consequences, I have no kids yet but I’m planning for the future I’m gonna buy my first rental property next year and hope everything is smooth . If my kid is a financial failure that can’t budget lives above his means then I won’t waste a penny but I will advice him on financial literacy. Would I be a bad parent to want them to work. I use to be in high school working from 4pm- 12 or 3 am then go to class.
I was very fortunate to have my 4-year university degree paid for me...
And I can tell you - I am SO thankful to my parents for giving me such an amazing opportunity. In my opinion, if the parent has saved enough to provide better opportunities for their children, then why not pay for it? 100% agree with Dave's approach.
Investing Engineered yes I also agree. It gives the children a much better head start in life!
NurturingTalents agreed lol
Investing- me too. Very grateful I did not have to pay a dime for college.
Investing Engineered, I am a parent that believe in paying for college for my son, provided he does his part with good results.
@Rich 91 , Thank you for your advise. My son graduated with good results and have a very good job. He has since got his masters, paid for by his employer.
Financially, my parents couldn't afford to pay for my 7 sisters and 5 brothers college. Some went to college, some didn't go to college but at the end we all made out pretty good. As for me, I chose to join the Marine Corps and obtain all three of my degrees. I am so thankful that I am not in debt paying off college tuition. I am planning to start my machine shop with 0 debt and 0 overhead.
What is the comparison between those that went to college and those that didn’t? Are any doing better or more well off than others?
aye thats good I quit college after 2 years and joined the air force. Hows your life now? we need updates.
I was on my own for college and get this: I paid off my student loans! Super aggravated by the latest whiners trying to get theirs forgiven. You borrow, you pay back… maybe I’m too old fashioned 🤔
Good for you! I’m used to families limiting themselves to the number of children they can afford to raise and educate.
Forgot the most important part of the precollege discussion; “Exactly what do you plan to do with this expensive tool to earn a living after graduating?” Personally, I don’t go to buy a tool at Home Depot until I know what I’m going to use it for first!
If the money is already saved for your kids college and it doesn’t affect your retirement why wouldn’t you pay for their college? Just put some stipulations like Dave says. I’d add that the degree has to have a career field if I’m paying for it.
It sounds like this caller is more concerned about his son becoming an entitled frat boy and slacking on school. I like this call because it shows that the caller and his son will have some good discussions about acting morally in the real world and in college.
godogs89 well we had college money put into. UGMA for my husbands sister. It went to her ownership at 18. She blew all of it and no school to show for it. After a few years she decided she wanted to go to college. She asked us to pay for it. We said no
I think a part time job with extra spending cash is a life lesson and gives them exp with what jobs they would do and not do.
this exactly. they should pay his tuition and books, anything else he needs to get a job for (food, gas, entertainment). Working retail jobs really helped shape me to the person I am today, and also helped me to deal with/talk to people.
I personally think working retail or fast food or waitressing isn’t a necessary life lesson for anyone. Do internships or volunteer in areas of your field of interest. I plan to NEVER work in any of those unforgiving, annoying jobs ever again. And I hope my kids don’t either
I disagree. My bro had a part time job. And he was just exhausted all the time. He neglected his meals and it was an issue. His manager would also force him to work shifts that interfered with his classes, and if he didn't, he would get fired.
So yes a job can build character...but just have them work a summer job. Not a job during class semesters
I agree I always had trouble speaking to people I did not know and felt nervous around big crowds. My first "retail job" helped me with that and the manager was awesome and thought a lot of life lessons. He was in the navy and he liked to share his stories with me >.< they were interesting.
VibranCELE hmmm, I think that was your life lesson.
I'm in medical school now, but when I was in undergrad my parents said they could cover the state school near us. I didn't want to go there, so I made up the rest between the state and private school. I was an RA, worked, and applied to every scholarship I could. I'm happy that was my situation, because it really weighed on me the gravity of going to an expensive private school. 17 year olds don't fully understand how a quarter million dollar education can sink you financially.
I'm going to be in serious debt after medical school, but I'm happy I don't have more from college!
at least you'll make good money to pay off that debt and not be in a lot of young adults situations and go to college and have 80 or 90k in student loan debt and are only making 32k per year after they graduate.
@@SteelRhinoXpress You're right. not that certain majors aren't important but I have some friends in from college that graduated with 100k+ debt for a history or english degree making 40k a year. The math just doesn't work out well for them.
@@joshmcgoo If you live a modest (destitute not necessary) lifestyle when you finish residency, you'll be fine. I came out with minimal debt (I worked during med school - computer lab 16 hours/week, paramedic on weekends that I didn't have rotations) but my wife had a lot. Within a couple of short years we had all the loans paid off just by being smart.
You didn't pay for the rest, you borrowed that money
@Rich 91 I most certainly did work during medical school, exactly as I described, and I'm happy with my salary. And it's your choice of specialty and geography that makes a difference in your salary. No one has ever asked me what my NBME scores were, although I already had passing scores as an intern on my specialty inservice exams.
My parents paid for my college, and I'm immensely grateful. I graduated with a good salary straight out of school and I'm also saving a lot of my current salary to go towards paying tuition for my younger sibling who started college when I graduated. I also want to work hard at my job to be financially stable enough to support my parents into their old age. Paying for your kids' tuition doesn't automatically make them ungrateful and lazy. It all comes down to years and years of good parenting and instilling the right values in your children.
Honestly my parents not being able to pay for my 4 year degree pushed me harder to make it happen. I applied for any academic scholarship their was and was able to get some grants to help me for most of my schooling. The rest I paid out of my own pocked from working 30 plus hours while going to school full time. Graduated debt free and with a good job 👍🏻
My parents paid for my community college classes. And then when I transferred to a state university they paid for me BUT I promised that I would pay them back that portion, which came out to about $13K. I always paid for my books/supplies while in school btw as I worked part-time and lived at home. And it works because they will get their money back, while saving me added interest. I’m almost done paying them back too 👍
Kids are an investment. Pay for them now and they'll look after you when you're old. At least that's what our culture teaches us and I'm Asian, South Asian.
You can't rely on that anymore. American values will sink into the Asian american kids over time
GIT GUD American culture is not the same sadly :(
@@cutehumor which is why you have to instill it into them at an early age. I'm 24 and I have my own place but still look after my parents if they need me
BS..my parents didnt pay for it and I certainly dont fault them and will lay out my life for them. They raised us to learn early that they will not enable us but to work hard.
How about taking care of yourself so you're not a burden that's stealing from their and their kid's future? Yes, a lack of saving for retirement is stealing, and on top of that harming their marriage. I know, my wife's parents not caring to save for retirement has weighed on us.
Whatever you do be honest with your children ahead of time so that they can plan. My brother got a free ride. He got four years of college a car and rent money and walking around money and full emotional support and my parents were proud of how hard he studied and my father wished that he could have done more for him. I was expecting at least a little moral support but I got zero money and a lot of backstabbing. So no support is fine and paying for school is fine but letting your kid believe that you will help and then yanking the carpet out from under them is a big step on the road to them hating you.
@C B My comment is already too long for most people to read and there is a long boring book behind that story.
Black sheep of the family huh? Every family has one!
@C B Short story is golden child vs scapegoat child. Those who have dealt with those situations will understand. Those who haven't can't understand no matter how much is explained. My point is just to be honest with children about the level of support you plan to give them in advance.
@@ladybanks9766 Yup. But if the family is bad enough it's actually the lucky position for some of us :-)
@C B Just be honest about the differences and why and it shouldn't cause problems.
Pay the first year but have qualifications to receive the same amount the following year. If grades drop, you’ll receive less money requiring a part time job. If grades come back, replenish the funds similar to that of the first year.
Good approach
This, I like...
This makes a lot of sense since financial aid works in a similliar way
My parents saved $13K for my college and I made $15k/year from working while taking 15 units. Went to community college and then the local state school. All 4 of my siblings did the same thing and none of us have student debt. I would say definitely help your children but they should be required to have a job while going to school. The job is where you really learn.
My father paid for my 2 year degree, I appreciated that a lot, it got me the job I have today, it doesnt pay a lot, but its simple and all I need right now, and am debt free.
I wonder if there’s a story behind this guy’s idea. Maybe his kid is a hellion or maybe he’s not motivated…
What’s the point of doing a 529 plan if you wanted them to pay for it themselves? You could have put that money towards something else. Paying tuition is one thing. Wouldn’t they still have to work to survive and pay for food and all other non college related expenses? Isn’t that enough? Why make things harder for your kids if you don’t have to?
We go 50/50 with the kids at a local state university. A part time job is plenty for them to afford their half and other needs.
Great advice. I'll follow this same advice for my 2 kiddoes.
I’m definitely taking the Dave approach when it comes to paying for my kids school! But I will highly encourage them to be entrepreneurial or go to tech school or something else because traditional university is only one route.
traditional universities are scams. you can go to trade school or a community college for a fraction of the cost that a traditional university cost. or not go to college at all and learn a trait. there are a lot of good paying jobs out their that offer on the job training.
SteelCity1981 I went to a community college for my music degree and it was a blessing. My college was paid for by my parents through the state’s college savings program and one of my teacher is still giving me lessons to this day.
Great advice from DR on this one. That’s exactly how I plan to do it.
I don't think that paying for my children's college education should be part of the baby steps. I think that's a choice to be made after all of my debts are paid and only if I feel so inclined to help pay for college .
This question has being on my mind. Loved the advice and also some of the ideas in the comments.
It’s nice when u have parents who pay for your college. I wish I had that opportunity!
Me too but that’s why I won’t have my kids do that. Try to make life easier for them. Correct the mistakes my parents made.
More important than the money, is the structure Dave was speaking to. I had to join the military for my college benefits but I also had no discipline and needed structure.
My parents didn't pay for my college, and I'm glad they didn't. Forced me to take school seriously and get a degree that made sense financially. Was able to pay off my undergraduate and graduate education by the age of 30.
Yeah! Schooling is great when you are focus and not struggling to support yourself and worries about paying Bills at the same time.
Same
I paid for my books, school supplies, and living expenses. My parents paid my tuition, and I paid them back over time as I became gainfully employed.
Tweegrrl, this is a great example. As you honor your parents, you will be blessed as you get older in life.
One other aspect to consider is how many scholarships has your kid been disqualified for because of your income? In my experience, many scholarships mandate that your household make less than $100K/yr to qualify.
I am eligible for very few scholarships due to this. It is unfortunate that the state just assumes what your families contribution is going to be.
For first year students it often hard to find scholarships without much help. A lot of students miss out cuz of the deadlines and not being told by a teacher or parent to apply for some early.
The only reason why I never had to take out any loans for my engineering degree is because my mom's income was low enough for me to get a shit ton of scholarships/grants. A bunch of my peers coming from well-to-do households still needed loans, it's pretty crazy.
As a behavioral psychologist, I love this, Dave! ❤️ Consistent, predictable, and contingent outcomes are the key to shaping good habits in your kids.
How long were you in school and what did you study to get that job?
My parents helped me with some of my college, and im grateful they did. However, i always viewed anything they did after i was 18 as a huge bonus. Parents shouldn't feel obligated to pay for their kids' college. You spend your own money more careful than you do someone else's.
I had my tuition paid by family. I got better grades when I was paying out of pocket. After graduating
Some people work harder when they must contribute.
Helpful tips...thank you! 🙏🙏🙏
Hmmm it depends on your child. My brother had his school paid for and he dropped out after a year and wasted money while I paid for my entire school and just finished my masters.
I found the best thing is to go full time where my classes would be scheduled Tuesday's and Thursday's and have your other days open availability to work, study, and rest. That way, I saved money in commuting to school while gas prices would be easily around $4 a gallon in the early 2010s. Also, I had time to focus on my homework.
Just have them pay for it. I paid for my own college tuition and I just graduated 3 years ago. However, I was in school longer than most of my peers, I did work 5-7 days a week and I barely went out and had any fun during this time... sacrifices were made.
I'm thinking of the match approach.. I like the idea of them having some skin in the game and then going because it's something they want.
My family paid for my first masters degree and I paid for my second masters degree when I decided to pursue it. If I couldn’t pay for my future children’s education, I wouldn’t have them.
That’s me. I am the same way. I’m working on setting that up now. I went through hard times as a kid. It took forever for me to get a degree. I did it with no help. None. I absolutely do not want my kids to face the same fate.
Paying for your kid's education has its benefits and it's downsides if you didn't parent them the right way they will be spoiled stuck up individuals.
@@ntmn8444 what was your journey on getting your degree?
How many masters do you have? I am having a hard time completing my AA?
I paid for my own university education with no help from my parents. As such, I fully expect them to be just as independent for all their retirement and end of life expenses 😁
blackmesa232323 LOL
Yeah I need this in the law somewhere. If parents don't pay for their kids college, I don't gotta take care of you when you're old. Loud and clear
😬😁
@C B old enough to know you're a freaking idiot
@@crazykaitlyn seriously
I am so so grateful for the amount of money my parents chipped in for college. Only have minimum student loans because of that. Yes, I could have worked more during school to have paid those and graduate with no loans, but having the choice to not work enabled me to 1. participate more in student organizations and unpaid research (tho some of it was also paid) and 2. look for better internships to take. I worked every summer, but only chose to work 2 semesters.
I think the gift of responsibility is one of the best gifts you can give as a parent!
Glad I had to pay for college myself!
I pay my way for college out of pocket and apply for Pell Grants. Noooo, parents help me, I'm glad I did it own my own. I'm a survivor.👌🏽
Yeah a lot of entitled folks in this thread.
I paid for my own way through trade school. Best decision of my life. I don’t regret not getting a degree. Cause now I’m financially independent and own my own business and my siblings/friends are all saddled with huuuuge student loans 😆
U can be responsible and have had your parents pay for college. It’s like the whole philosophy of moving out at 18, u can be responsible and still live with your parents. Haven’t you ever heard of the phrase “I want to give my kids a better life than I had”. That’s probably what parents who pay for their kids college do and in return the kids will do the same for their kids. But anyway my point being u can be “responsible” and have your parents pay for college for u
My parents paid half of my education I had to work hard to come up with the other half. To date have no college debt, and it feels amazing.
I grew up with this "go to college" advise when I barley completed high school!!! My Father had this "Ramsey" talk with me and I told him straight out I hated school!!! He ended up paying for a trade school which was one year certification and happy I made a career out of my training. High School grads need to know what they want, not what the educational system wants for them!!! I would have put my old man in debt with nothing to prove if I would have gone to a College/ University!
A lot of companies offer tuition reimbursement to help their employees move up within the company. Maybe going straight into the work force and working their way up should be an option. I started as a bottle packer and worked my way up to the corporate sales team. I was able to learn all aspects of the company which makes me even better at my job.
This has me thinking...Our kids are small and we're working towards being able to provide this for them. Probably good to talk to them as they get closer and closer to college so everyone knows what to expect.
Yes. Also, consistent good grades in high school can translate into cash via scholarships. So, while the parents are saving up, the students can be studying for the possibility of merit scholarships.
I’m always surprised at how many people stress about not being able to pay for their kids college tuition. My parents made it clear very early on in my life that they would not be paying for me to go to college. So I went the community college route, worked and saved all my money for 2 years, transferred to a university after those 2 years, and was able to pay for my BSN in full without a loan. I’m in my early 30’s now, still without any debt except for my mortgage, earn 6 figures, and I’m doing just fine. My parents taught me to live below my means and work for everything I have. Don’t think that by not paying for your kids tuition that they’re destined to fail. If you taught them how to save their money, work smart, be patient and disciplined, then they’re going to be okay 👌🏻
calidawl, Excellent comment! :)
calidawl best comment so far! I hate entitled people! Work for what you want and keep it moving.
Excellent advice!
What makes your comment great is that there was open communication and expectation. If a parent doesn't have the means or simply doesn't think it's good to pay for college they need to communicate that early in order to curb expectation of their children
And invest
I am a HS graduate who was determined to get my kids thru college. All 3 were in college at the same time !! I paid for all 3....and had them handle small payments to me once they graduated. Although I paid most of it, they still did pay some. Our deal was also....I pay room and board and tuition for 4 years. After 4 years, I'll pay tuition but they have to cover the living expenses. Worked out OK and they now all are doing terrific. .
I liked this question and this answer. My kids are 4 and 2, but I’m already thinking about this sort of thing!
Start with your plans ASP.
A 3.5 or higher GPA equals 100% of tuition paid. Small monthly allowance, room and board, and books get covered, no strings attached. And any money that they've "credited" me by getting a scholarship turns into a down payment on their house after they graduate.
I was blessed to have my parents pay for my college and I was able to graduate debt free. The same for my sister. I could never thank them enough for that and I plan to do the same for my children
I think save for their education, don't tell them. Help them with books or groceries during the tight months, maybe start them with a $3,000 car and when they graduate give them the money saved to pay off any loans then. A great gift, teaches them work ethic, and will hopefully keep them from choosing a field of study that will not pay enough for their future. That is of course assuming they even go to college and not a trade school, or start down some other entrepreneurial path. In which case if the idea is good, there is seed money for their business potentially. Best thing you can do is model good financial decisions, and beat it through their heads constantly. I know that it took 20 years in my case.
A gift is always appropriate
My parents and I split the balance on undergrad 50/50 and it was perfect in hindsight. As far as grad school, that was totally on me because that's above and beyond the standard and my choice as an adult.
My dad had a college fund for all his 4 kids. I did not have to pay for anything including books and fees. I actually got a scholarship and he took the money he was going to pay for my school and put it in his retirement. But I still did work part-time for my own money.
Worked part time all the way through. Took almost as few student loans as I could. Just over 15k. Should be debt free end of the year if all goes as planned.
Put myself through college with GI Bill - parents paid 0 - got a B.A. in 2 1/2 years, and worked 20 - 40 hours a week.
My scholarship covered 1/2 of my tuition. And my parents were able to cover the 2nd half. Although, I do understand this parent question I do think you should pay for your kids tuition if they have an actual interest in attending school and it is within your means. My reasoning for this is ... that a lot of time the aid and some scholarships students are even able to get are determined by household income. So the school would assume a household would cover these expenses. And very little can be done short of a student attempting to file for emancipation or legally classify themselves as an independent to increase aid . If said student derives from a high income household.
My parents paid for my rent for the first 3 years. I had a part-time job for grocery/ spending/ to help cash-flow my tuition. Unfortunately, I did take out some student loans because I thought that was the only way. Now, I have weaned myself off of rent help from the parents, am finishing up my senior year and didn't have to take out a loan, thanks to Dave's advice! I work full-time, and my fiancé and I are saving up for our wedding because we WILL NOT GO INTO DEBT, or touch our emergency savings, for a wedding. DAVE IS THE BEST.
I studied through scholarships, so I had/ must have very good grades. Also I had a part time job that used to pay rent, and still my mom (single mom) helped me with some money for transportation, food and misc. I I continue pursuing education through scholarships, and repeat the formula scholarship + xtra income ( must be low, because scholarships are sometimes restrictive about how much you can eran from work or receive another income).
This is pretty solid advice. 👍 Coming from a college student.
I work for spending money, have a 3.6 and am pre med, and that’s what my parents are paying for. The “moral” piece is def not there but the rest holds up haha. Granted I have a different set of morals, and I follow those.
My dad paid for our college as well as our medical school, and I’m very grateful
It depends on what you have available to you and what seems right at the time.
My wife worked & paid her way through college and had around $50-60k in student loans when we got married (paid off years ago). My college was more expensive than her’s and was paid for by my family, and I never worked while in school either, except a couple summers.
However, We’re both hard-working and have similar values. That said, we want to pay for our kids’ college when that comes up, if we can.
Feels great getting your own car and own full time job if you go to university or not live at home or pay a mortgage you all have a good day. Independence and self discipline cannot be taught
Your mindset keeps you going mo matter what money you have keep strong keep focused and enjoy life
We did this with my daughter. Unfortunately, it didn't work. She started acting like a fool. Partying and getting drunk. She ended up dropping out of UCLA and ultimately she was ask to leave the house.
We are fortunate that we are not burden with educational debt thanks in to The College Fee Waiver for Veteran Dependents.
My parents cut a deal with me. They had me take out student loans and work to pay for school. If I graduated, at the end they’d pay off the student loans for me. It really motivated me to finish because if I didn’t, I’d have no degree and a pile of debt. I now have a college degree and am debt free at 26.
Great advise
Every summer after freshman year all the way through graduation I had an internship associated with my major and during the school year I worked 10-15 hours a week. If everyone carried this mindset, got scholarships on the side, instead of relying on loans, nobody would have loans. There are so many internship/scholarship opportunities for driven people. Loans don’t need to happen
My parents didn’t care one bit about my future. I had to scrape and claw to get myself though college, get an apartment, save, get a car, save, get a house etc. I did it, it took me an extra five years to graduate but I did it. It can get done. But the personal cost on my mental health, the stress, the constant pressure of future insecurity, the years I lost to get out of poverty, the opportunities I missed to build a family because I was on survival mode - it’s not cool. It nearly killed me. My parents could afford to help me and they chose not to. Sure I made it, but the lessons I learned weren’t worth the tuition and up until this day I resent my parents for their lack of support.
If you can, you have to help your children. Throwing them into poverty just to get an education is not cool, no loving parent who has the means should ever do that to their child.
food for thought: When filling out a FAFSA which you are required to do, it asks for the parents income because the government will automatically assume the parent will provide financial assistance for college even if they do not. This is important because the numbers a person gives them help the government determine what kind of loans a person is eligible for.
That effected me. My parents are very well off and because of that I didn’t get funding. But I was also blessed because they paid for my schooling
I had to work my way through undergrad and my mba. My wife had hers covered by a generous and frugal parent. There’s value to each, but it depends on the student. I wouldn’t have been responsible if I didn’t have to earn it. My wife would have done well regardless.
I live in a state where they offer prepaid College. We did it for the 3 kids. We were able to do it because instead of giving them a cellphone, the money went to a college fund. It may be a community college but it's college anyway. They were also homeschooled.
Our daughter is very thankful for her education as she sees her friends without any savings for College. If they can start debt free, why not.
I got my undergrad paid for by my parents. I got better grades when I paid for my own mba degree. Yes it makes sense to have the students have some skin In the game. I am grateful and thankful for my family for paying for my undergrad.
Dave, when you refer to your family as a family of faith please remember a family of faith can also follow Jewish tradition as well. All of your listeners know how fundamental your Christian faith and religion is in your family (which is admirable) Just every now and again when you bring that topic up...please include those admirable family of the Jewish faith. thanks for all that you do..
I graduated in 2016 and have my student loans paid off now thankfully, but I feel bad that my parents took on about 75% of the tuition themselves. I'm grateful for their help but I feel like if I had known up front what their loans would be, I would have put more on myself since I don't want to feel like a financial burden.
Dave's method is what I had in college. My parents covered tuition and rent for the first four years. They also gave me $200/month in spending money. If I wanted extra I had to earn extra.
Great advice.
My son joined the Navy and became a RN and now a nurse practioner.
He used the VA benefits to accomplish this even though he had a family to support and interruption for a tour in Iraq.
However he was in private school most of his life. A firmer foundation. That was costly but he was more my responsibility prior to 18
Great advice Dave!!!
Whe I was a kid, my parents were constantly complaining out in the open about lack of money. At the same time, I kept hearing on the news that college tuition keeps rising and it's more expensive every year. You can imagine that by the time I was 16, going to college started to sound like something out of reach, so I was indirectly discouraged from going to college as it seems to be something for the super-rich or for the few geniuses. I wish my elders had the clarity to guide me and explain that, while college was expensive, it meant that I probably wouldn't be able to go to Harvard, but they could help me pay for community college and then help me whatever they could at a regular state university in order to minimize whatever student loans I would need to make up for the difference.
Requiring 4 year finishing is not good in my opinion. I researched for months before graduating high school and still had never heard of my dream degree program until my 5th semester in college. I had good grades the whole time, but I had to start from the beginning on the degree flowchart. Very grateful that my parents paid something I could have, in order to let me focus on the future a little, as well as focus on serving others with less fortunate family circumstances while I was in school.
Thank good I had a full ride football scholarship, Holmes Community College 2016-2018 , slot Receiver.
Totally makes sense to establish some parameters if deciding to pay for college tuition. If the parents took years of effort to earn and save money for their kids’ education, it shouldn’t be too much to expect that the kids would in turn make at least *some* effort to earn those college funds. (Indeed, it’s like a type of job itself!)
My wife and I purchased our first home in 2009. It has been a rental since 2014. Our tenants are paying for our sons tuition. We’re going to sell it in 2030/2031 as he graduates in 2031. The mortgage principal should be way down after 21 years. We already have a six figure income without the current rental profit. We can cover any difference if needed for his tuition.
My parents paid for my living expenses (rent, food, public transport, etc.) while I was in school. I took out between 5k to 8k in loans every year. I was responsible for those loans once I graduated. I thought it was a good balance. I guess they thought it was their job to get me through school, but once I got my diploma, I’m responsible for myself.
I would like to add that I lived in a studio apartment with my best friend. And we slept on bunk beds since the space was soo small. We didn’t even have a couch or tv. I did most anything I could to minimize my future loan amount and minimize the amount me parents were giving me.
Spent my summers working and saving most of it. Graduated with about $10k in my bank which I was going to use to buy a car. Ended up not needing a car where I live and used the $10k to immediately pay off a good portion of my loan.
I guess have some requirements for paying for it. like good grades.
This is essentially what my parents did for me and I’m extremely grateful. The only difference is they covered about half of my tuition and I’m currently paying my $30k in student loans back. They also bought me a car that I still drive. As soon as I got the car, I got a job my junior year. I’ll be done paying my loans by June and I’ll already have a paid off car. Kids have literally their entire adult lives to struggle financially. If you can help your children in a fair way that facilitates them growing their responsibility as they become young adults, I say do it. It was hard even though they helped so much. I’m 25 now and I’m just now really feeling like I have this adulting thing together.
A fair way?
Kids should have the adulting thing under control the day they turn 18 if they have been properly parented
JK Sumner the frontal lobe doesn’t finish developing until around age 25 so I don’t know about the day you turn 18😂 but if you have some super human kids with perfect decision making skills at 18 kudos to you.
Art classes are three hours long... something to consider if you wanna go in as an art student...
My parents worked hard and made enough money to pay for me to go anywhere I wanted. Instead I decided to join the military (part time) and then get a job as an RA in college. My education is free now and I'm well versed in dealing with high stress especially with a science major. I feel like my wonderful parents should use that money they saved to enjoy their own lives rather than spend it on me. I'm not even stubborn or have that much pride, I just feel like it's a wonderful gift back to them.
If you can afford it, then do it, but as Dave said if they act up then you stop paying. Many kids get caught up in working a job and forget about studying. They think the job is priority over school because of the immediate income, but school pays off much more in the long term. There should be an open discussion of long term goals and how to stay focused. If you think they should work even though they are getting good grades then have them work during the summer. You could even ask that they use part of the income they earned during a summer job towards their education. You could also ask that once they reach junior or senior year in college that they take on an internship. However, freshman year is when most dropouts fail because they struggle with balancing their priorities. Especially if he's not living at home, it will be a big adjustment.
I was very fortunate that my dad paid for my college. He wasn't there for us growing up but he did pay. Fortunately school was maybe $6K per year and I went to community college the first two years. I also worked 50 hours per week every break, while the other kids were partying in Florida or South Padre. I have never been unemployed since my first job at 16. If the kid is a worker, then pay for his schooling. His job is to be a student. If he's generally spoiled and worthless, make him pay some.
I didn't have mine paid for and we won't be paying for our kids, so they will be have to be very careful on whether the choose to work or go to school, instead we are putting money away to get them into real estate like my folks did. Brought 1st home at 20yrs old and now worked my way up to 3rd at 27with 4 kids, much prefer help with that then student loans, they don't have to go to school, but everyone needs somewhere to live, your way ahead already when your helped into your 1st home
For college in the early 1970's, I worked summers as a steelworker and also for the City Recreation Department. The understanding was that, if I came up short, my parents would make up the difference. They did make up shortfalls on a couple of occasions. The summer work was brutally hard, and I had opportunity for a lot of overtime, and the lesson I learned quickly was that I didn't want to be a hardworking steelworker as a career. Instead, I became a hardworking Semiconductor Engineer, later a Senior R&D Engineer for a large company in Germany. The job market became automated, then fizzled so I went on to a new career in Semiconductor Distribution. I retired as a Recruiter for a Medical College - it was a tough life talking with Nursing and Medical Students every day (not)!
My bills and mortgage are all paid, and I am free to spend my $millions as I see fit.
I did ALMOST as Dave did. I pay for their 1st year, if they graduate that year with at least a 3.0 gpa, I pay for their next year. If any college year they have LESS than a 3.0 gpa, I don't pay for their next year. "But I'll do better this coming year." Good, then put YOUR OWN money (or loan) where your mouth is. At the end of the four years (no longer than 4 years) and the student did poorly ONLY that one year, they have to pay the student loan interest and I'll pay for that 'less than 3.0 gpa' year. Skin in the Game! It worked for all 4 children. P.S., only one year out of 16, did one child get less than a 3.0 gpa and she did pay the student loan interest.
Pay for performance. My son took 16 hrs and played college football so he had a full load and initially did well. The agreement was based on a sliding scale of our contribution as related to his GPA. If he failed to meet expectations he was responsible for working through the summers to make up any difference in cost. He ended up paying for about 1/2 of his schooling and unfortunately could not focus on school and sports with equal results. School took priority.
I didn't work during the semesters when I was in college, but the 3 months I was home in the summers I worked a landscaping gig 50+ hrs/wk. It earned me enough for textbooks and snacks throughout the following year. Looking back I wish I had those summers back and didn't waste them digging holes and pulling weeds. I would never send my kids off to school without paying for it 100% and letting them use their free time to develop socially rather than do grunt work for pennies.
If your not going to college for a STEM field it might be worth looking at tech schools and apprenticeships.
The real "paying" is in putting in the hard work yourself. A smart worker will will exceed without daddy warbucks and will earn many rewards in the process that they never would have seen had the money just fallen in their lap. There will always be those who look down on anyone that didn't go to a major institution. Those adult children were gifted school.
I had to pay off my college loan on my own. I worked during college and did the first two years at a community college to save money. I don’t think it made me a better person and set me back. I feel I missed out because I didn’t have many choices. My husband and I got 529’s for both of our kids as soon they were born and my hope is that they enjoy a nice college experience with no college debt going into their adult years. I can’t believe that anyone who has the money to pay for their kid’s college, wouldn’t do so.
Wow a paid for education
Must be nice.
That's what parents should plan for if they can.
Just do trade schools. Not so bad to pay off.
As a young person, always worked for companies that offered tuition assistance or reimbursement. My entire undergrad paid for.
Gordon Ramsey baby step 5.
@mike a paid with strings attached, so u basically teach ur kids how to manipulate people.
Great idea Dave! Set it up with rules like a scholarship, so they earn it and let them make the decision to keep it and maintain a GPA. Their degree has to be in something that will be able to get job, business, IT, healthcare or engineering lol.
I mostly put myself thru college, we have now put two children thru college, and we are about to put our youngest thru college. Our principle is simple: the better the ROI they make of college, the more we pay for it, anywhere from zero up to 100%.