@@KingofCrusher Many people have felt that way, but what we have found is that if you destructively irradiate the part of your frontal cortex responsible for moral reasoning you may become much less critical of people who work in marketing.
seems like they ask reasonable questions and then bepis says something like it'll sell and just put it up and it'll sell. well atleast we got to know how well it did
"My grandmother isn't doing so well." "I understand your concern for your grandmother. Thinking less about her and more about crystal Pepsi means more sales and profit."
@@ignoblesurfer6281 Ever heard the story of the first chemotherapy? Ship full of chemical weapons sinks, survivors in the water got the first chemo lol
Thanks for your efforts in bringing it back recently, even if it was for a short time. I was able to grab a 20oz bottle and greatly enjoyed it. I'm 38 now but it took me back to when I was around 12 years old. I miss Crystal Pepsi.
i feel like if they marketed it as a limited time offer (then expanded if it was successful) it would’ve done much better and not harmed the brand as much
Absolutely insane. I read your comment and as I was reading it, THE GUY SAID EXACTLY WHAT I WAS READING!!!!! It was like a quarter of a second off, but still pretty much on point to exactly as I was reading. So weird.
Store: But we don’t have any more free space near our cash registers... Salesman: What we found is 80% of the stores that sold this got more Profits. The other 20% mysteriously burned to the ground. How many cases would you like to order?
@@matthews835 I dont know about ANY of that.... I'm just here for the kick-ass theme music! Only if it wasnt so heavy.... I think its "grindcore", or some other death metal subgenre. I usually prefer softer, cheezier theme songs in my early 90s soda sales training films! 😁
The first half is a backgrounder, then the second half is more of a traditional sales training. I bet the first half was played for investors or management types, too.
Caffeine free cola without caramel color, still not a terrible idea. I mean, it’s perfectly clear that crystal flew right of the shelves. No one has anything like it.
“We at Pepsi understand our customer. And our customers want Cola. That’s why we developed a cola that isn’t a cola at all. It will be around forever.”
Y'see, jazz is like Jell-o pudding... no, it's actually it's more like Kodak film... no, actually Jazz is like the new Pepsi - it'll be around forever. Hehehehehe
i did notice that, but i refuse to kill more brain cells watching that again, just to count. i do know that if you took a shot every time they mentioned that, youd die of alcohol poisoning way before the video ends.
Oh boy this brings back memories... I can remember having my first Crystal Pepsi, 4:15 p.m. December 5th 1992, and I can remember having my last Crystal Pepsi, 4:16 p.m. December 5th 1992
@@D-Fens_1632 ikr I actually thought at first he said "it's a whiter drink" instead of lighter. He also says it with all the enthusiasm of someone being held against their will.
"I run a small independent grocery store" Who's gonna break it to this guy that his grocery store is just a backdrop with merchandising shelves drawn on?
@@jimmyredd You're gonna stick that barrel right next to the sandwiches so your customers can stand in line freezing their hand off with a sopping wet can of ice cold PROFIT
What we have found in our test markets is that health conscious consumers love Crystal Pepsi’s you break it, you buy it marketing; which means more sales and more profits.
Merchant: I have a concern about doing the thing. Pepsi rep: I understand your concern about doing the thing. But you should do the thing, because there will be *More Sales and More Profits*
12:08 "I understand space is an issue. What I'd like for you to do is throw out your entire stock of Coca Cola products. This will increase profits for Lord PEPSI.
😀👍Youve got it! "All natural" is ALLways a good thing! All together now, let's think of some other things that are also popular because of their "all natural goodness", like mercury, arsenic, chlorine, radium, polonium 210, asbestos, lead, radon, cadmium, ebola, dengue fever, bubonic plague, diphtheria, yellow fever, arthritis, malaria and even Covid19! Oh wait, that last one was probably created in a Chinese lab! Whoopsy!😉
That same trick still applies today. "Vitamin Water", Gatorade (original variety, I am aware most Gatorade is low calorie or calorie-free), etc all have at least 100 calories a bottle, but use the "all natural" moniker to confuse people. These days, there are so many great calorie-free sweeteners. sucralose, Stevia, and neotame are great examples. Erythritol and Xylitol are excellent sweeteners too, but they still have a few calories (not nearly as bad as sugar) but they can be really bad for some pets. The best tasting beverages these days usually contain a combo of erythritol and sucralose, which lets them use less of both, and with that combination you usually only get like 20cal per 16oz bottle. Aspartame, saccharin, cyclamates, etc are all pretty bad for you, so I understand why people avoided diet beverages in the past, but these days the only ones you need to avoid are the aspartame containing ones(no saccharin or cyclamate beverages still exist in the USA), and the list of drinks that still even use aspartame is getting smaller by the day.
@@p1nkfreud all those so-called sugars you mentioned are horrid...the only sugar that spins light counterclockwise is fructose, play with the others (inc. white sugar) and you are playing with fire.
bluetrinity haloseven what in the holy fuck are you talking about? What does a chemical's polarity have to do with it's metabolism? And exactly how are the 7 chemicals I mentioned bad for you? Post sources please, or leave.
2hrs later: Fine! I'll put your dumb display in my store! Pepsi pusher: you should also add our cold barrel next your registers. Our studies found that.. Store owner: I know I know. More profits..
We called them "Van Hagar" by that time LOL. Also, there's a message on screen during that ad saying "Right Now will do just fine without Caffeine" . Less flavor, No color, and NO Caffeine? Someone at Pepsi was an Evian or Perrier spy.
@@johnfoltz8183 and '17 and '18 and '19. The only reason it probably didnt' come back in 2020 is because of everything that's going on. Which sucks cause Crystal Pepsi is freaking good.
@@foylepoirot1437 It did. That's literally a main point of the video. It was caffeine free Pepsi with no food coloring. How does that not qualify as "practically identical"???
Store Managers: "I just don't know about Crystal Pepsi." Pepsi: "I understand, but just put it in your store. It'll increase sales and profits." *Stares at the managers with whirling eyes* "SALES AND PROFITS! SALES AND PROFITS!"
I understand that you hate your life. However, the most important thing is to love the new Crystal Pepsi, and that will lead to more sales and therefore more profits.
But I don't want to murder my family STOP TAPE But I don't want to murder my family I understand your family is at a premium in your life. But market tests show replacing your family with cold barrels will increase beverage sales, which will lead to more sales, which will lead to more profits. DING
the role play is basically "how to lie to customers so you can have your cake and eat it too" I also love how Mr.Moustache Pepsi Salesman flubs every single one of his lines and they didn't bother to reshoot.
Some of my favorite quotes. “The goal of Crystal Pepsi, is crystal clear” “The demand for Crystal Pepsi ensures it’ll be around for a long time.” “Crystal in your trucks will drive sales!”
things that we gave up on way too soon: the metric system, crystal pepsi, humiliating food industry employees by forcing them to wear lederhosen in public.
" Here at Pepsi, we've literally ran out of ideas so in a moment of desperation, we asked the janitor what he would do to make Pepsi better. After farting and scratching his balls, he said to take the color out. Soooo, that's what we did ".
Store Owner: I'm not sure if my customers are ready for CRYSTAL PEPSI. Pepsi Salesman: No worries, just show them our graph on how their purchase will increase the store's overall sales and profit.
2001 was a worse year... it literally set up the police state of today and the sheer audacity politicians have now all came from not being held accountable then... 2020 being bad is a meme. It’s just another year post 9/11... hell the pandemic had straight up been called a global 9/11... that’s tells you everything
Ee Rr ...so a singular nationwide 9/11 is worse than a global 9/11?? And now the police state we have today as a result of 2001 is reaching its peak and causing clashes between civilians and law enforcement. You have literally just described why 2020 is worse than 2001.
Rednecken Illinois isn’t popular culture’s fault that law enforcement gives them a reason to be “degenerates.” I bet you yell at kids to get off your lawn every morning as well. Clearly you need something to make you feel special and validated.
If I had a dollar for every time this man made the word “clear” and “crystal” a play on words. I’d have enough money to not be sitting here watching this
5:10 The confidence they had in Crystal Pepsi is so comical! It's a great, unique look back at what Pepsi's thought processes were, but I can't help watching this as if it was made today as a parody of an old training video. I especially laughed at the last part of the video where store owners expressed their concerns about product placement and sales. In hindsight, these concerns rang so true.
@@DoctorShocktor I never said I had insight into anything Pepsi did back then and, in fact, hindsight and insight are polar opposite terms. I was merely expressing what the video looks like now -- today -- in terms of the failure of Crystal Pepsi's inability to succeed in the marketplace. I even indicated initially that it was a "great, unique look back" at Pepsi's approach, which, indeed, companies should always have a positive outlook on a new product and, as they did in this video, they were prepared to answer to the pushback of their new product. Maybe I shouldn't have begun my comment with the "comical" comment, because reading it now makes it seem like I thought "They should have known it would fail." That was not my thought or intention at all.
You should check out the real reason it was invented. From what I've read, it was invented to give to a Soviet general to drink since he loved coke so much but wanted it to be clear so everyone thought he was drinking vodka like everyone else
I feel bad for whoever had to make those hand-drawn store and warehouse backgrounds. So much effort into making something not very good and used for such an inane purpose...
It's the same today. Spending countless hours on videography, graphics, animation, art, design, post-production, etc. to create ads for stuff... some of which you know is useless or untruthful. All to convince the consumer that buying your client's product will somehow Elevate Their Consciousness or Make The World A Better Place. Consider that if you think of going into the creative industries. That's why I decided to go into engineering instead...
"But the REAL success of Crystal is the repeat business." Hahaha, you can say that again. So many lolzy meth references here. It's like they predicted the future. "Crystal Methsi".
This is like writing your essay and you're done by page 2, but the teacher requires 10 pages.
EXACTLY! I hate wordy fluff. Make your point and be done.
Or like writing a business plan
Marketing people are some of the worst humans to ever exist, like you have to be a REAL piece of shit to go into marketing.
Stephen Seehorn I’ll let our marketing manager know that when I get to work tomorrow, what should I tell HR when I go to see them after? Any advice ?
@@KingofCrusher Many people have felt that way, but what we have found is that if you destructively irradiate the part of your frontal cortex responsible for moral reasoning you may become much less critical of people who work in marketing.
How to say absolutely nothing in 16 minutes and 25 seconds.
They say some stuff: it's clear, sales and profits and uhhhh… did I mention it's clear?
Isn't that all corporate slosh?
seems like they ask reasonable questions and then bepis says something like it'll sell and just put it up and it'll sell. well atleast we got to know how well it did
welcome to corporate
@@fermiLiquidDrinker no it's crystal corporate slush
"I have legitimate concerns about Crystal Pepsi"
"Sales and profits, sales and profits, sales and profits"
"Okay, you've convinced me"
This is why I pay for internet access.
I liked this so much I made it into a full terrible 80's song th-cam.com/video/WtJnQ5jTDT0/w-d-xo.html
To true endless
The World Wide Web (WWW) will be big one day. Better get on it early.
STOP TAPE... Me Too!
Money well spent for sure.
This is what I would buy a time machine for, how many cases of Crystal can I bring back for you?
So clear, I can't see it anymore
HAHAHA. Well played.
Haha! Good one.
Ha ha ha
just like, john cena.
There’s even Diet Crystal Pepsi, for anyone who was born without taste buds.
"Can this product help me get my religious boating trip business off the ground?"
"You'll have more sails and extra prophets"
10/10 dad joke!!!!! 🤣
Underrated comment. 👌
I'm Christian but THAT'S DAMN FUNNY.
Decent!
Lol... Well done.
"My grandmother isn't doing so well." "I understand your concern for your grandmother. Thinking less about her and more about crystal Pepsi means more sales and profit."
Sound like somebody got through all the role plays...
"Chemotherapy is expensive and painful. Perhaps give ol' gramgram a cold slug of Crystal Pepsi instead."
@@ignoblesurfer6281 Ever heard the story of the first chemotherapy? Ship full of chemical weapons sinks, survivors in the water got the first chemo lol
try putting grandma in a cold barrel. It will maximize profits
🤣🤣
Amazing throwback!!!
Glad you checked it out, Beast!
The Beast brought me here. Have A Good Day!!!
Thanks for your efforts in bringing it back recently, even if it was for a short time. I was able to grab a 20oz bottle and greatly enjoyed it. I'm 38 now but it took me back to when I was around 12 years old. I miss Crystal Pepsi.
Was wondering when you were going to comment beast.
Have a good day!!!! I'm binge watching your video's right now. Oh and F U youtube for jacking around with LA beast's views!!!
At a board meeting:
"What... Our competitors have used cocaine, in their Cola"
"Lets try Meth in ours".
the crystal marketing team clearly had too much coke
It's a winning formula.
@@ConsumerTimeCapsule is that really why it was discontinued?
i see what you did there. lol
I wish
I'm 5 minutes in but it only feels like 4 hours.
i made it 3 minutes and had to bail
1 minute in and i’m bout ready to quit
2:28 and I'm done and wondering why I miss the 80s and 90s 😋
made it to 13min and now i have this nice full beard 👍
@@starkicker5623 same lol
"Certainly not a flash in the pan."
"Guaranteed it will be around for a long time."
Don't question the tape. Crystal Pepsi will live forever.
"Crystal is certainly not a flan. It's a brand. It's a brand of flan. They ask for flan and they're buying a brand of flan again and agan."
i feel like if they marketed it as a limited time offer (then expanded if it was successful) it would’ve done much better and not harmed the brand as much
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
To be fair, it was back on the market in 2018-2019 and may still be around in 2020. It was unique enough to be hard to forget.
"Crystal has generated the kind of following that guarantees it'll be around for a LONG time" 😢
Niver heard of this pepsi obviously niver made it to the UK or did not make it
@@madally2009 It ran from 1992-1994 appearing 'briefly' in the UK according to Wiki. It was a short lived but good soda.
I remember seeing crystal a few years ago
We're still talking about it
Absolutely insane. I read your comment and as I was reading it, THE GUY SAID EXACTLY WHAT I WAS READING!!!!! It was like a quarter of a second off, but still pretty much on point to exactly as I was reading. So weird.
The longer this goes on......the longer it goes on
The longer it goes on means increased sales and profits for you!
It's the newest addition to the Pepsi lineup, and its new.
STOP TAPE .... now more time has been spent
That’s like saying “last night in the Bronx 5 people were killed by a fire in the Bronx that killed 5 people”
Underrated
After watching this I feel confident enough to sell any bullsh*t.
Just remember... sales and profits!
@@ConsumerTimeCapsule Spoken like a true Ferengi.
Lol
Well, talking about Crystal Pepsi and sales...
You’ve got a bright future in the door to door sales of vacuums and mystery cleaning products
15:08 “times are tough now. I just don’t think crystal will sell well in my store” this man was a prophet.
And the slimy salesman sounds like Satan 😂
The Vaporwave scene is going to be mining this video for screenshots for years to come.
My legacy ^
It's so freaking true 'cause I found this on r/Vaporwave in Reddit
That's awesome! I love that sub.
@@christianalvarado7915 same, bro
There are some sounds in here I'm going to use in a music project.
Me: *scroll scroll scroll"
TH-cam: you wanna watch a Crystal Pepsi training video?
Me: I mean...
It just asked me and I couldn't say no. It was so polite. It would have been rude of me to do otherwise.
Lol
YES
_i mean_
And here we are
"And it's a product that says Pepsi "
Amazing writing, just stunning
Store: But we don’t have any more free space near our cash registers...
Salesman: What we found is 80% of the stores that sold this got more Profits. The other 20% mysteriously burned to the ground. How many cases would you like to order?
The real Pepsi challenge is being able to sit through all 16 minutes of this.
Anybody who was able to sit through this/actually interested should be on a watchlist.
@@yellowblanka6058 I'm heading back to the Wendy's training video.
It's easy I'm watching this while drinking a Pepsi 😂
@@yellowblanka6058 how could anyone not sit through this entire video? Only weirdos would choose not to watch this.
This seems more like a pitch video than a training video.
They are training vendors on how to pitch it. Also, trying to pitch it to vendors at the same time. Nice to see sales haven’t changed in 30 years.
@@matthews835 sales... Sales never changes..
@@matthews835
I dont know about ANY of that.... I'm just here for the kick-ass theme music! Only if it wasnt so heavy.... I think its "grindcore", or some other death metal subgenre. I usually prefer softer, cheezier theme songs in my early 90s soda sales training films! 😁
The first half is a backgrounder, then the second half is more of a traditional sales training. I bet the first half was played for investors or management types, too.
*brainwashing
There’s a “crystal” product that’s been selling well for 25 years but it’s not a Pepsi
Exactly what I thought!
Shard
Its weed
🧐
Say my name.
"Crystal Pepsi is good because it is new. Now let's listen to some upbeat music."
It really didn't taste like anything
„Human music... i like it!“
I didn't have the remake Crystal Pepsi a dew years ago but the original was actually not bad. Kinda over sweet I guess.
@@Cheeseburger.Launch.Sequence never had the original but I had the remake last year and it was good
Caffeine free cola without caramel color, still not a terrible idea. I mean, it’s perfectly clear that crystal flew right of the shelves. No one has anything like it.
“We at Pepsi understand our customer. And our customers want Cola. That’s why we developed a cola that isn’t a cola at all. It will be around forever.”
Y'see, jazz is like Jell-o pudding... no, it's actually it's more like Kodak film... no, actually Jazz is like the new Pepsi - it'll be around forever. Hehehehehe
@@Hotlog69 🤜🤛
"Crystal Pepsi doesn't taste like any other clear drink, it's got a different taste" hahhahahhaa
None of those reviews were positive lmao
Almost like Pepsi or something
I remember thinking it tasted like a sweeter, maybe just smoother sprite lol
"It's the first new soft drink in awhile to fly the Pepsi banner, and it's new" 1:52
@@ChrisLeeW00 best selling point of all time
“Crystal Pepsi is not a flash in the pan”
...I’m glad I was alive to drink it as a kid, and as an adult during both pan flashes.
fuck you
@@user-73a Wow, come down there Crystal Pepsi man.
I missed it both times
@@yodiggitty8225 I'm sorry to hear that. Why or how did you miss the rerelease?
@@jonnda it came out the first time a decade before I was born, and the second time I just didnt care enough to try it
"how do you merchandise crystal Pepsi" "oh we found that if you buy a crap load of it it will stay in stock longer" 😂
“When you look at it you have to look twice. It’s like wow, that’s a cola in there, I want to try that.”
He said it about 3 seconds before I read it...
The acting was priceless. 😄
Crystal Pepsi was less successful than its little known cousin, Crystal Meth.
yeah pepsi pushed the wrong product
Haha. Yeah, that Crystal is definitely here to stay.
it contained 1% meth they coppied coke with the 1% cocaine
You,my friend, are correct.
@thoth81 lol or Las Vegas or anywhere in the midwest where it's literally an epidemic as well.
"We want a lighter drink."
"Lighter... like... less dark."
My friend got addicted to Crystal Pepsi drinking at least a 12 pack a day. Then they stopped making it and he died.
So did the sales and profits of your locally-owned grocery stores, then.
@@ConsumerTimeCapsule That's because his friend stopped drinking it after he died, which reduced sales, which reduced profits.
Your friend died as a hero.
Cool story, bro!
@@ConsumerTimeCapsule pretty sure their friend was actually on CRYSTAL METH...not Pepsi
Clearly Pepsi’s only sales tactic was to end every answer with “more profits” or “increased sales”
Someone watched the role play section.
NPC dialogue
@@ConsumerTimeCapsule I even stopped the video when they asked.
It does sound like Oblivion
Let me get this straight...increased sales AND more profits??!? SIGN ME UP!
Did anyone count how many times they said “improve profits, and increase sales”.
i did notice that, but i refuse to kill more brain cells watching that again, just to count. i do know that if you took a shot every time they mentioned that, youd die of alcohol poisoning way before the video ends.
Gotta keep shareholders happy
Stocks are up bonds are down increasing sales and improved profits BUY NOW BUY NOW MONEY MONEY MONEY SALES SALES $$$$$$$$$$
I know its almost like they are a company that wants to make money.
They were really selling it to them!!!🤣🤣🤣
Oh boy this brings back memories... I can remember having my first Crystal Pepsi, 4:15 p.m. December 5th 1992, and I can remember having my last Crystal Pepsi, 4:16 p.m. December 5th 1992
😄
😂😂😂😂 it must have been disgusting
@@lashaydagoddess-topic8053 absolutely 💯
It was pretty bad!
Ahh .... as Coke would say, CLASSIC response 🤣
"it doesn't taste like any other clear drinks that I've ever tasted. it's got a different taste."
Yeah...Ass Flavor
Its supposed to taste brown
Then they made the black guy imply that it was better because they took the dark out of it.
How many different clear drinks could there possibly be
@@D-Fens_1632 ikr I actually thought at first he said "it's a whiter drink" instead of lighter. He also says it with all the enthusiasm of someone being held against their will.
"I run a small independent grocery store" Who's gonna break it to this guy that his grocery store is just a backdrop with merchandising shelves drawn on?
It's real to him
"I've got no extra space for display"
"YOU'LL DISPLAY IT AND YOU'LL LIKE IT! LET THE CUSTOMERS TRIP OVER IT FOR ALL WE CARE!"
oh, you'll take the coldbarrell...
It will lead to more sales and profit.
@@jimmyredd You're gonna stick that barrel right next to the sandwiches so your customers can stand in line freezing their hand off with a sopping wet can of ice cold PROFIT
What we have found in our test markets is that health conscious consumers love Crystal Pepsi’s you break it, you buy it marketing; which means more sales and more profits.
Merchant: I have a concern about doing the thing.
Pepsi rep: I understand your concern about doing the thing. But you should do the thing, because there will be *More Sales and More Profits*
You're hired.
Yeah, that’s called sales and more importantly what a business owner does, not a job/cubicle slave. It’s how you get a bigger slice of the pie.
@@DoctorShocktor you may have missed the point of the joke which was about the repetition of this vague claim for every concern.
STOP TAPE
It will appeal to the health conscious consumer.
80s 90s and early 2000s camera quality seem to have a permanent nostalgia filter
I know! I can guesstimate the year something was made just by the look of the video, usually within 5 years or so..
It's the fashion they wear.
12:08 "I understand space is an issue. What I'd like for you to do is throw out your entire stock of Coca Cola products. This will increase profits for Lord PEPSI.
And become part of the Pepsi people!!!!
That would be Saint Pepsi. 😜
All the kids will be clearly hooked on crystal!
Meth
bassbinrevival Crystal Meth Pepsi - marketing genius idea
It’s deff a meth have for the kids!
Better than being hooked on coke?
It's TIGHT TIGHT TIGHT!!
Step one: Crystal Pepsi in your store
Step Two:
Step Three: Profit!
Step two was increased sales, did you even watch the video..
Lmao
"wow, that's a cola in there. i wanna try it!"
This is the best line on the whole tape ^
I tried Crystal Pepsi and I thought "Meh".
I say that all the time.
As soon as he said that I was dead
@@melissacooper4282 no Meth..
"Health conscious consumer" still wants to consume 100 calories of sugar, because "it's all-natural".
But Diet Crystal.
😀👍Youve got it! "All natural" is ALLways a good thing! All together now, let's think of some other things that are also popular because of their "all natural goodness", like mercury, arsenic, chlorine, radium, polonium 210, asbestos, lead, radon, cadmium, ebola, dengue fever, bubonic plague, diphtheria, yellow fever, arthritis, malaria and even Covid19! Oh wait, that last one was probably created in a Chinese lab! Whoopsy!😉
That same trick still applies today. "Vitamin Water", Gatorade (original variety, I am aware most Gatorade is low calorie or calorie-free), etc all have at least 100 calories a bottle, but use the "all natural" moniker to confuse people. These days, there are so many great calorie-free sweeteners. sucralose, Stevia, and neotame are great examples. Erythritol and Xylitol are excellent sweeteners too, but they still have a few calories (not nearly as bad as sugar) but they can be really bad for some pets. The best tasting beverages these days usually contain a combo of erythritol and sucralose, which lets them use less of both, and with that combination you usually only get like 20cal per 16oz bottle.
Aspartame, saccharin, cyclamates, etc are all pretty bad for you, so I understand why people avoided diet beverages in the past, but these days the only ones you need to avoid are the aspartame containing ones(no saccharin or cyclamate beverages still exist in the USA), and the list of drinks that still even use aspartame is getting smaller by the day.
@@p1nkfreud all those so-called sugars you mentioned are horrid...the only sugar that spins light counterclockwise is fructose, play with the others (inc. white sugar) and you are playing with fire.
bluetrinity haloseven what in the holy fuck are you talking about? What does a chemical's polarity have to do with it's metabolism? And exactly how are the 7 chemicals I mentioned bad for you? Post sources please, or leave.
Why can’t I stop hearing hearing “it would be nice to look at consumers’ balls” at the start XD.
There you are! i scrolled way to long for this...
Our customers are looking for a product that will bring rats to their stores! Eh eh eh!
Everyone: How this can be 16 minutes long? It's a torture
Vaporwave fellas: This is G O L D
Anyone who calls this torture is a terrible human being.
I'm a Vaporwave fella and I endorse this comment
You’re not wrong.
You mean its, C R Y S T A L!
nods
2hrs later: Fine! I'll put your dumb display in my store!
Pepsi pusher: you should also add our cold barrel next your registers. Our studies found that..
Store owner: I know I know. More profits..
"Hey, I'm looking for crystal..." "*calls police*"
Or his dealer
I remember when Clear first came out. i also remember Van Halen had the "Right Now" commercials endorsing it to.
Here it is: th-cam.com/video/U5-Jkkgj70M/w-d-xo.html
And I remember the Saturday Night Live parody of that commercial...”Crystal Gravy.” It was a classic. 😂
We called them "Van Hagar" by that time LOL. Also, there's a message on screen during that ad saying "Right Now will do just fine without Caffeine" . Less flavor, No color, and NO Caffeine? Someone at Pepsi was an Evian or Perrier spy.
I was 10 years old when this was made. It’s bringing me back, and reminding me how much I loved the 90’s.
They really were the best.
Yeah they sure were.. Im born 82
I think the 90s were the height of western society so far. Lots of innovation, new technology and products, cool trends. It was exciting and peaceful.
Pepsi might be the most consistently “square” company in history. Astonishing.
But. But. But.... sales and profits.
Boi shut your mouth! Pepsi man is fly as fuck!
telethea the end bringer I said this a year ago. My mouth has been shut about Pepsi since.
i i Dozens of ounces, booboo. Dozens.
@@TheloniousBosch you have seen the light, brother.
This is like a restrained version of Tim and Eric.
Anthony Rizzo gravy robbers training video
when i imagined marketing gibberish, this is exactly what came to my mind but I didn't know it.
5:10: “Crystal has generated the kind of following that guarantees that it will be around for a long time”.
Time: about that...
They were studying the wrong crystal. Their market studies accidentally were about crystal meth.
Plus it made a brief comeback in 2016
It’s metaphorical, they meant in our hearts
@@johnfoltz8183 and '17 and '18 and '19. The only reason it probably didnt' come back in 2020 is because of everything that's going on. Which sucks cause Crystal Pepsi is freaking good.
@@Jaqen-HGhar I never saw it in my area. EVER. It sucks because I was a tot when it came out originally. I'd love to try it.
the song at 3:31 is my favorite song in the whole video
Didn't expect to ee you here, nice. This whole video has pretty good music
STOP TAPE. I'll see your song at 3:31 and raise you the jingle at 7:22! You see, the jingle will lead to more profits.
Usually when people say, "it tastes diffrent" means they don't like it.
Haha. Not to mention, it tastes practically identical to Pepsi.
Consumer Time Capsule that in itself is not a selling point for many people.
@@ConsumerTimeCapsule no, it didn't, lol
@@foylepoirot1437 It did. That's literally a main point of the video. It was caffeine free Pepsi with no food coloring. How does that not qualify as "practically identical"???
Fun Fact: If you take a sip of cola every time you hear the word "crystal" in this video... You will die.
Add in the words "sales" and "profits" and it'll happen much faster.
There's never been a product quite like Cripple Piss.
You got that right. Haha.
A HOH SIS
It would be nice to look at consumers' balls.
I remember kinda liking it. It appealed to my needs as a health-concious consumer.
100 nasty ass flavors.
Store Managers: "I just don't know about Crystal Pepsi."
Pepsi: "I understand, but just put it in your store. It'll increase sales and profits." *Stares at the managers with whirling eyes* "SALES AND PROFITS! SALES AND PROFITS!"
Employees being trained with this video: "I hate my life"
I understand that you hate your life. However, the most important thing is to love the new Crystal Pepsi, and that will lead to more sales and therefore more profits.
Lol all those employees are lying and they know it is going to flop
@@LyricWulf 😆
I had it during the re-release and it was great. Wish they kept it around longer.
Is it weird that I love these employee training videos?
But I don't want to murder my family
STOP TAPE
But I don't want to murder my family
I understand your family is at a premium in your life. But market tests show replacing your family with cold barrels will increase beverage sales, which will lead to more sales, which will lead to more profits.
DING
LOL this comment needs a thousand likes
/resume tape
Omg
This comment had me chuckling uncontrollably for a solid minute
What is this comment spoofing?
I met my wife at the Crystal Pepsi launch party. Its been a wonderful 27 years. We thank pepsi for being the cornerstone of our marriage.
Please tell me this isn't a joke. Because if not thats amazing. And funny.
Yeah, is this for real? If so, that's incredible.
Wow, congratulations! You guys must be doing very well after 27 years of increased sales and profits!
Congrats on your diabetes
Just like Stan, Francine and Mr. Pibb.
"It doesn't taste like any cola I've ever tasted, it's got a different taste" well no wonder it did so well.
the role play is basically "how to lie to customers so you can have your cake and eat it too"
I also love how Mr.Moustache Pepsi Salesman flubs every single one of his lines and they didn't bother to reshoot.
Some of my favorite quotes.
“The goal of Crystal Pepsi, is crystal clear”
“The demand for Crystal Pepsi ensures it’ll be around for a long time.”
“Crystal in your trucks will drive sales!”
shop owner: Is Crystal Pepsi here to stay?
crystal pepsi rep: [laughs] [does not answer]
Sales and profits.
5:11 Like super short shorts, Crystal Pepsi is guaranteed to be around a long time.
things that we gave up on way too soon: the metric system, crystal pepsi, humiliating food industry employees by forcing them to wear lederhosen in public.
Grocery store owner: * Sneezes *
Pepsi: Bless you. Hey, do you wanna increase your profits by selling some Crystal... PEPSI?
" Here at Pepsi, we've literally ran out of ideas so in a moment of desperation, we asked the janitor what he would do to make Pepsi better. After farting and scratching his balls, he said to take the color out. Soooo, that's what we did ".
That’s highly unfair, you simplified the process way too much. They also made the flavor worse.
Store Owner: "I really don't have room for your cold barrel".
PEPSI : "We'll see about that!"
MORE INCREMENTAL SALES. MORE PROFITS TO YOU.
:I really don't have the room for a cold barrel
:If you put a cold barrel. K thanks.
Why did this pop up I'm my recommendations? Why am I watching this? And why cant I stop watching?
Did you figure out the answers to any of those questions by chance? Asking for... someone.. else..
If you watched the old country buffet training video, this is why. Its only a downhill trip of nostalgia from here.
You should keep watching it as it will increase sales and profits
Me: If only I had a way to increase my sales and profits...
TH-cam: Wanna watch this Crystal Pepsi vid??
Store Owner: I run a small independent grocery store. Who is buying Crystal Pepsi?
Keith Sweat: Nobody
Haha. A few months after this video came out, he'd be right about that.
Fantastic better than projections
"Crystal will appeal to the health conscious consumer..." Hahahhahahahhahahahaha
Soda with a bunch of sugar? Seems appealing.
Not unlike all the caramel-colored "wheat" bread at the store. So much junk food is purposely marketed deceptively & many morons buy it.
Maybe clear soda seemed healthier on a psychological level
Mmmm...what are the health benefits to drinking soda?!!!!
Sure! More health fanatics will likely be hospitalized for puke-related issues from Crystal Pepsi than from some other healthy soda like say...JOLT?
"There's never been a product quite like cRiPPle PiSS"
A HoH SiS!
It's crispy piss and the meme is tight
Contains fewer cats, and no fish farts!
It's a big _SHIT_ for anyone looking for a hard _cOCc_
Store Owner: I'm not sure if my customers are ready for CRYSTAL PEPSI.
Pepsi Salesman: No worries, just show them our graph on how their purchase will increase the store's overall sales and profit.
1992
“It would be nice to look into the future with a crystal ball”
2020
no...no it’s would not.
Lol
2001 was a worse year... it literally set up the police state of today and the sheer audacity politicians have now all came from not being held accountable then...
2020 being bad is a meme. It’s just another year post 9/11... hell the pandemic had straight up been called a global 9/11... that’s tells you everything
Ee Rr ...so a singular nationwide 9/11 is worse than a global 9/11?? And now the police state we have today as a result of 2001 is reaching its peak and causing clashes between civilians and law enforcement. You have literally just described why 2020 is worse than 2001.
pearlspace jam isn’t law enforcements fault that popular culture teaches how to be a degenerate
Rednecken Illinois isn’t popular culture’s fault that law enforcement gives them a reason to be “degenerates.” I bet you yell at kids to get off your lawn every morning as well. Clearly you need something to make you feel special and validated.
This video was uploaded with the most thorough description. It's one of my favorite writings I've ever read.
Thank you so much! It needed a proper description. I hope most folks take the time to read it.
Great tape. Glad it was able to be preserved and enjoyed for years to come.
I'm so happy to do it. Can't imagine how the internet survived without it.
Whoever leaked this must've been threatened to be shot if they did.
The guy that sold this tape to me like 16 or 17 years ago is a saint and you know it.
I think the idea that it's not a drink, makes it seem like it's a drink.
Thanks, Scrotal Beverage Company!
I wonder why a product that has fewer cats than the competition didn’t stay around.
@@cellina.starfire Maybe because it brings rats to stores.
But how will Crystal Helpsi help increase help in my HELP?
If I had a dollar for every time this man made the word “clear” and “crystal” a play on words. I’d have enough money to not be sitting here watching this
Don't forget SALES AND PROFITS!
You would’ve made more money than crystal Pepsi did
Clear cut Comment
5:10 The confidence they had in Crystal Pepsi is so comical! It's a great, unique look back at what Pepsi's thought processes were, but I can't help watching this as if it was made today as a parody of an old training video. I especially laughed at the last part of the video where store owners expressed their concerns about product placement and sales. In hindsight, these concerns rang so true.
Haha. Yeah, it certainly seems like on some level they knew what was coming. All that talk of increased profits didn't really pan out, I guess.
How to teach Poe’s Law in 16 minutes
Uh yeah, all products have to be launched with huge confidence, your gigantic hindsight is indeed no insight.
@@DoctorShocktor I never said I had insight into anything Pepsi did back then and, in fact, hindsight and insight are polar opposite terms. I was merely expressing what the video looks like now -- today -- in terms of the failure of Crystal Pepsi's inability to succeed in the marketplace. I even indicated initially that it was a "great, unique look back" at Pepsi's approach, which, indeed, companies should always have a positive outlook on a new product and, as they did in this video, they were prepared to answer to the pushback of their new product. Maybe I shouldn't have begun my comment with the "comical" comment, because reading it now makes it seem like I thought "They should have known it would fail." That was not my thought or intention at all.
2:43 “Crystal will appeal to the health conscious consumer”. It has almost twice the amount of sugar as regular Pepsi! 😂😂😂
Bless you for sharing this to the world.
Happy to do it!
watching the blockbuster and crystal pepsi training videoes give you the all the skills you need in life.
Don't forget the McDonald's one: th-cam.com/video/grCw1DcayuE/w-d-xo.html
I love how vague everyone's reasons for this to exist are. Did nobody stop to reconsider 🙈
You should check out the real reason it was invented. From what I've read, it was invented to give to a Soviet general to drink since he loved coke so much but wanted it to be clear so everyone thought he was drinking vodka like everyone else
Pepsi was making its marketers work hard on this one....
@@johnkeo358 you mean PEPSI so much. Because Kruschev bought Pepsi to the Soviet Union but coke wasn't allowed. But I think fanta was.
@@OffGridInvestor yeah, typo. Im a coke cola guy
Brainstorm: what's hot on the streets
Employee: crystal meth
Brainstorm: how can we bottle that and sell it to families??
crystal pepsi is to pepsi What panzerchocolate is to chocolate.
and of course you don't need caffeine. xD
It's for health conscious consumers who dont want a little caffeine, but a 1/2cup of sugar is no big deal..
@TheDevineBeing if you're health conscious, fake sugars are arguably worse.. BOOM! mic drop
@TheDevineBeing why not drink water? It's basically free (tap water?!) And contains 0 shit, your point is null and void.
I don't know why this didn't boom in Utah then.
Whoever wrote the video description has earned my everlasting love and affection.
I feel bad for whoever had to make those hand-drawn store and warehouse backgrounds. So much effort into making something not very good and used for such an inane purpose...
I've thought about that many times. A truly thankless job.
It’s called doing it cheap because nothing better was needed, it’s just a dumb corporate piece. This is how ya makes the monies.
It's the same today. Spending countless hours on videography, graphics, animation, art, design, post-production, etc. to create ads for stuff... some of which you know is useless or untruthful. All to convince the consumer that buying your client's product will somehow Elevate Their Consciousness or Make The World A Better Place.
Consider that if you think of going into the creative industries. That's why I decided to go into engineering instead...
It's not like these guys do it for free or fun, they're making money 🤑
Pepsi: "let's get everyone hooked on Crystal"
As agency: "Uh Okaaaay"
I wish they would bring it back!
They had me until, "It's CAFFEINE FREE!".
The re-released ones in recent years weren't, but yes, it was caffeine free at the time.
I feel miffed. I drank this stuff as a kid. I was missing the main reason to drink soda. I want a refund.
who needs caffeine when you have crystal?
scurus11scurus lmao
Back in the day, cola had cocaine in it, so crystal should have meth in it.
Well played.
It would have sold much better
that was still a good hundred years before this video
Too bad pepsi didn’t have a “Chrystal ball”
"But the REAL success of Crystal is the repeat business." Hahaha, you can say that again.
So many lolzy meth references here. It's like they predicted the future. "Crystal Methsi".
Yeah, simply calling it "Crystal" didn't age very well. Haha.
Yeah, that's methed up
"Increase sales and increased profits" "Increased sales and Increased profits" Increased sales and Increased Profits" .