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healing generational trauma
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 ส.ค. 2024
- I've never not had an anxiety attack when coming home for the holidays.. until more recently. I feel like allowing for everything to take place at once has been a filter of unconditional acceptance setting me free. No one is bad or wrong, simply a result of their conditioning. A lot of the walls I felt around my family were created by my depression and low self worth. If you feel safe enough around your family to try and shift the relationships, this video could be really helpful for you!
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0:00-2:43 intro
2:43-5:41 Staying since around family
5:41-7:50 relational intelligence/ not taking things personally
7:50-9:55 How to converse with family
9:55-11:29 setting boundaries
11:29-14:42 having hard conversations
14:42-17:08 make space for love
If you ever decide to have a child, I hope they know how blessed they are. Your light touches many, and you truly are bringing so much love to our earth. Thank you Hitomi!
i wish she was my mum hahaha
@@stephanieee.m.p She *is* our mom. Our earth angel mother.
I went to my parents house this holidays and simply by listening to them instead of being defensive made everything go better and smoother (without agreeing with things that you're not ok with)
You have 111 likes :)💕
Yea it’s exhausting. At some point we should learn and accept that people show love in different ways. Our expectations do not need to be met the way we romanticized them to be meaningful. So what if grumpy old so and so didn’t say they were proud of you etc. maybe they asked if you ate or offered you a meal that’s as koombaya as it will get 😌 for some.✌🏽🫂
Must be nice for you to have parents like this. Unlike ones that gossip behind your back and gossip to their friends about your father cheating,and lie about you, are constantly negative. Make you the scapegoat for everything and manipulate you to make themselves feel better. Oh yes and also parents that call you lazy and stupid any chance they get. Because you didnt do exactly, what they wanted...
This makes me reflect on "Would I even recognise unconditional love if I've seen it". Often times people are loving us as much as they can and it's for us to recognize the boundaries between that may prohibit that love from being received. I've watched your videos for some years now, so I wanted to just say... Hitomi your transformation is amazing to see, truly.
Hitomi words cannot describe how much I love you and your content. Thank you for allowing us to see very vulnerable parts of your life. It is beyond inspiring and extremely eye opening. Childhood trauma is something I am just now navigating and this video helped me release so much fear and guilt about my choice to allow some distance between my loved ones and I. Once again, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Me too ! It's nice to know I'm not alone
In the words of my Higher Self "You must Become Empty to become Full, and in that Silence, You Find Me and I find you 👁" 🙏🌸💙
So beautiful 💗💗
Love
"Check your belief system and see if it aligns with the life you actually want to be living."
It seems like many times what family talks about with you is only external things, what's happening in the world, the weather, things about your physical self, at least my parents never try to initiate any convo about something deeper, and when I try to do it, they don't even try to get involved
Same here, that's why I have distanced myself from my family, I just feels empty and drained after being with them. I have a cousin that the last 25 years never have asked me one single question about my life or what interests me. Thankfully, you can find " family" and community many other places, of cause depending on your life situation.
Same, I can see it scares my mum away, or she says something dismissive to make fun of it and change subject. I am learning that it's not my place to open anyone to a depth they are not ready or willing to go, and the more I heal the more i am able to accept them as they are, and not need them to see me because i see myself. But It's very difficult sometimes, It really can trigger a lot of inner child stuff that's hard to deal with in the moment. Love and peace to you xx
Maturing, healing, and evolving not only helps you welcome the present and the future with open arms, but also the past. I hope you're very proud of yourself ☺️
being emotionally vulnerable + present w family members is suuuuch a weird practice but it is definitely worth it. sometimes painful, sometimes awkward. intergenerational healing isn’t easy but it’s always worth it.
I just finished the book Daring Greatly by Brene Brown and I’m thinking so much about how brave you are for sharing and welcoming vulnerability and recognizing the shame that society often teaches people to have and how it moves through generations (shame about not being good enough, not social enough, not pretty enough, too sensitive, not unique enough etc). You are so brave for opening up these conversations . The book I just finished said something along the lines of… never exposing your vulnerabilities or sharing your feelings is a worse tragedy than what you fear could happen. I’m still trying to learn this fully.
i recently played “we’re not really strangers” with my dad. it was refreshing and therapeutic! i would recommend to anyone who feels safe enough as a way to open up dialogue with their family
I finally told them everything I held back, I want to heal. And I thank you for this video
You so lucky that they listened to you💓😀
Must be nice for you to have parents like this. Unlike ones that gossip behind your back and gossip to their friends about your father cheating,and lie about you, are constantly negative. Make you the scapegoat for everything and manipulate you to make themselves feel better. Oh yes and also parents that call you lazy and stupid any chance they get. Because you didnt do exactly, what they wanted.
@@incognito3599 sounds a lot like mine. That's when you go no contact. If possible. I realize that may not be possible now, or ever. But hopefully you can find some peace in the future and find a way to set healthy boundaries and heal.
@@incognito3599i understand that so much i hope you’re free from them
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This is a beautiful beautiful wholesome video. I appreciate the balance between self preservation and accepting your family as they are. Boundaries make room for sustainable love. It's giving peace 🙌🏿🫶🏿
Does anyone else feel like Hitomi made this video just for them to see? A testament to the power her spirit and compassionate heart.
This brought tears to my eyes 🥹 I've been following you for years and I know how monumental of a moment this is in your journey 💓 I'm soooooo happy for you, Hitomi! Your statements are around setting boundaries were so beautifully strong. Thank you so much for showing us what's possible 🙏🏾✨️
As someone actively trying to heal my childhood wounds, it feels like an uphill battle. Like I have to overcome so much hurt and trauma of my past. Glad to know others have done it successfully. Wish you all the best Hitomi.
I’m literally crying on the couch over family wounds right now. This is a god send. Thank you Hitomi❤️
Stay strong ❤️❤️
Moving in with my grandparents this past summer has revealed so much on this topic of ancestral healing. Getting to know them as an adult and witnessing why they are the way they are/hearing their life experiences explains most of the current pain in my family. Responding to their more toxic behaviors/words with love is really tough but is necessary work. Wishing everyone on this journey peace and good luck!
the footage of you and your mother has me in tears
hitomi this makes me cry, i just want to stop by and say thankyou♥️
hii.... I love hitomi but I m boy.
Thank you for the light you bring to our lives ❤️
yesterday I tried to be vulnerable with my parents, I feel so bad knowing that they had to oppress their emotions so much that they can't understand me, knowing a little about their childhood I realized that they had to hide who they are to please others, it seems that there love was something that was needed, now I know that some things make a lot of sense when they happen. well, it was very good for me to express my feelings and express myself but it was very exhausting to fight and try to be heard... for me it's unbelievable to know that when I'm with them and I need help, it's like being invisible, now a piece of me seems to have broken, even so I want to lean on and believe in myself. Thanks for the hitomi video, I come back here a few times and it's always very comfortable. your videos are my best home. ♡🙏🏻
It seems as though you always know just what I am working through and need to hear. Thank you for being so vulnerable and allowing others to see the end result of hard work; to show them there is a reason to stay committed to healing. I appreciate you from the bottom of my heart.. thank you
You are seriously a treasure. You make every person watching feel heard and seen, and enable us to think and look a little deeper at things that have hurt and impacted us so heavily. You are beautiful in so many ways, thank you for always sharing your heart with us.
1 minute in and already crying my eyes out ! Hitomi, your videos have blessed me in ways you couldn't even fathom ✨
Thank you for doing this deep and vulnerable work. Thank you for sharing this and shining light on what so many of us go through. You are such a gift, Hitomi 💝
literally divine timing. can't even express how much I needed this rn. Thank you for sharing ur journey with us. I've been learning how to approach life with an open heart ever since I discovered you. ❤
This might be the video of your that has touched me the most 💛 I’m sitting here thinking about how many times I’ve felt bad about my family putting me in a box of my past self or who they think I am while simultaneously keeping them in a box of who I think they are as well. I especially appreciated your point at the end about considering all of the programs and battles that our families protected us from when a lot of times we only see the things they passed on to us that we are struggling to unlearn.
I’m so happy for you Hitomi for reaching this point in your journey. Sending you love reciprocal to the love I feel from your videos 🥰❤
Thank you for being so vulnerable I want you to know that my heart has been hardened and bitter for so long, when I came across your channel, I’ve healed so much of that hurt. The guidance you naturally give your audience, you are doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing here on earth. ❤ we celebrate with you
Those clips with your family brought tears to my eyes Hitomi. thank you, always for your medicine 💓💓💓 you’ve helped so many of us.
I needed this today. I have always had a rough relationship with my dad, and my mom and I have sort of been back and forth over the years (that's on me). It's bled out over a lot of how I feel towards other family often, too. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom ❤
When I first starting watching your vids I thought, " here is another beautiful girl trying to sell the organic lifestyle." This particular ep struck a nerve with me though as I have experienced the same difficulty with not being around my family for a long time. I understand now how much work I need to do on myself. Thank you.
I'm so proud of you. This made me cry, knowing how far you've come. You are so brave for loving
I truly feel that you're on this Earth for a reason, and the Souls that cross paths with you are experiencing a true mirachle
Thank you so much for everything Hitomi. I always seem to learn something and feel at peace while on your channel. For me, I find that saying "sometimes you hurt my feelings when..." or "When you do this", because when saying words such as "always" or "never" generalizes the relationship and makes it hard to grow for both of you. Just a small note, sending you so much warmth and kindness:)
Thank you for your transparency! I'm so happy that you healed your childhood trauma. I'm still learning how to heal mine. My mother provides insight as well with my past trauma. I know your healing didn't happen overnight and I definitely know the same for me. I know I must pray more about my family wounds, how to meet, approach and carry on conversation about certain situations. It's morre challenging when you feel that they don't want to have those conversations.
Thank you so much for sharing this. Going through the same process with my family right now and receiving these lessons you’re sharing and experiencing as well. Keep being the change. And remember you are so loved, accepted, and cherished by so many that see you - for you 🎉🥰🙏
You’re just getting more and more beautiful! the glow, the vibes, everything radiates. ✨
I’m on a vacation right now and I’m so glad I get to take you around with me wherever I go, everyone needs a Hitomi wherever we go, and in all walks of life 🤍 Thank you for that.
Not even half way done.. I’m crying because I am so proud of you.
I just did an emdr session so I'm feeling very emotional watching your video but it was so calming, thank you... ❤ You're one of the most kind and healing person I ever saw on TH-cam and social medias ❤ Sending you lots of love and light ❤
I cried during this because I’ve always remembered your videos communicating the trauma you had.
Truly felt like there is opportunity to heal
seeing you connect with your family again , cracked my heart open even more . I’m so happy you experienced this. So beautiful
Thank u sm, I’m thirteen years old and I’m visiting my father in two weeks. He immigrated from Cuba to the US when he was really young with his mother around he 70s or 60s I think and his mother (my abuela) worked In a sweatshop 14 hours a day severely underpaid and didn’t have any childcare for my dad so he basically raised himself. He was very abusive to me when i was younger probably as a result of this and I’m trying to be able to be around him.
I needed this during this rough holiday season with all the family triggers. Hopefully I'll get to the place you are at for me one day
thank you so much for this, i always wondered why i felt like i changed back to the "old me" around family members and this helped me realize why.
I can hear the ease and calmness in your voice, that lighter feeling after you got the answer to an everlasting question. You made me so happy watching and listening to this video. Huge hugs sent to you♡
I am so excited to watch this video ! By the way, you are absolutely amazing, Hitomi! Thank you. I love you! ❤️🥰
You have truly been a healing light in my life even though you don't know it. Your kind words have become my thoughts so when I speak to myself I speak with love and respect. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I hope you see how much you help others simply by sharing your light
wow I cried towards the end, but that is all of hitomi's videos 💖💖 I love her for being so vulnerable, brave and generous with her light
So proud of you Hitomi❤️ I hope I get to this stage some day🤞🏻
your videos always have the most perfect timing! the holidays have really tested my relationship with my family😵💫 thank you for sharing your wisdom
I love hitomi literally watching her videos I can feel her rawness through the screen. I wish we can all reach this level of healing 2023🎉❤
This made me cry immediately, I am so happy for you and proud of all of us who keep showing up with love ❤
i am unable to find the words to articulate fully what i feel having watched this video. filled with hope i know peace and joy are mine.
🙏🏾 much gratitude, this is the balm i’ve been needing in order to move forward. i am happy that you’ve found your way.💕
this is so relatable and healing, watching with tears :’)
Adore this video Hitomi
you are the most beautiful person i’ve ever seen! inside and out
Hitomi you are such a beautiful person and your energy is so calming! You have been one of my favorite people to watch on TH-cam when I’m in my head and feeling anxious. Life has been very overwhelming this year but your videos calm me so much and make me think in a more positive way! Thank you❤
What a true source of light and love you are. It always amazes me how much you’ve grown and evolved
Idk why but these days have been so weird for me. You know... Christmas and the family expectations that social media show us, sometimes make feel like I'm so apart from the world. Am I not deserving of love? And Even If I been taking therapy the last few years sometimes is really hard to remember that I am so deserving of good things. I have the power to choose me and to love me. Thanks Hitomi to always helping me to remember that I can change my belief system and I can always choose love and objectivity.
Wow Hitomi Thank you for sharing so much with us… I love this for you.. I am so happy for you.. This made me cry.. just from following your journey and seeing how far you’ve come within and with your family is so beautiful and inspiring. I immediately felt warm when I saw you and your mom singing followed by your story telling. Being able to relate this gives me so much hope on my own journey. 💙💙💙
This video is exactly what I needed to see for my self growth. Thank you for this video and for being such a beautiful soul!
Wow, Hitomi as usual you provide me with more usueful information on how to heal my childhood trauma and love myself then my therapist who I PAY TO HELP ME 😅 ilysm and am so grateful that you’re willing to share your thoughts with the world and be vulnerable. You’re helping the rest of us. 💛
Gracias Hitomi! You are amazing! Truly! I can feel your love and just want to let you know how life changing your energy is! Gracias forever! From the deepest part of my being!
realizing that you are one of my favorite beings for a reason. having someone to look up to who goes through what you go through makes life feel lighter. here’s to us for breaking generational curses and starting a new one filled with love. 🙏🏽 you will be such a great mother one day and i always thank myself for sticking to my roots because i wouldn’t be the mother I am today ✨
this video has helped me soooo much, understanding that it really is a thing and that it’s possible that your family (who should be the ones who support you the most), drag you down until you really lose all of your hope in life…even if they dont do this on purpose. Understanding that parents project their own issues on their children at a very young age and that its not your responsibility to fix them. That you can take a break from all of that negativity to heal and maybe when time went by&you feel stable again, you can slowly let them in your life again, as far as you feel comfortable with the situation
thank you so much for sharing! your really amazing and you can be so proud of yourself that youve learned so much about life already and that your truly helping others with opening up
you don't know how much I needed this... so thank you from my heart
I recently moved back home and this is so helpful. I relate so much to this topic. The biggest thing is not having expectations. That’s amazing
you're so beautiful 🥺🥺 I'm grateful for your existence. thank you hitomi 💖
I can't explain what your perspective and story has done for me the last 5 years of my life, especially this video! Can't stop crying 😭
Thanks for sharing your story 🤍
You look so different and glowed up at this phase of your life!. So happy and wonderful ❤
ur truly amazing ❤❤ so grateful to have found you years ago, you’ve taught me so much , thank you
What an amazing example. Thank you for sharing this experience with such humility and giving us hope for healing for ourselves and with our families 💛💛
I'm already tearing up and I'm not even past the intro 😅🥰😭 love you so much, you have been my safe space and mentor for years ❤️✨
before this year, i had no interest in repairing relationships with my family because like Hitomi i’m super sensitive and emotional, and they had hurt me in such subtle and painful ways that still affect me. thank you for making this video, i’m really committed to healing myself fully and it is not easy but i know it will be worth it ❤️🩹 seeing my parents as children who don’t know any better was really helpful and i started to cry because i feel the compassion blossoming in my heart for them. i’m so grateful for you and your sharing of words and stories Hitomi ❣️
This video made me feel so reassured, I recently stopped taking to a friend that always made me feel bad about me life decisions. I didn’t feel safe or loved anymore. And I should not feel bad for making a boundary ❤
Hey, (preface: we met recently at an estatic dance soo I decided to check out your videos.) I want to say for step #2.. I have persistently tried this, although I always feel regret down the road. This level of vulnerability involves so much giving yet I dont receive the love and appreciation I have clearly desired from them, my mother in particular. I often feel exposed, like what was the point of sharing my light if I wasnt going to be understood anyway, its exhausting to my spirit. They just dont take to the same things I do. I am aware that I am the black sheep of my family. I feel passively judged and ostracized; as if I know nothing, or that my ideas and beliefs are not taken seriously.. on the contrary I believe its because they simply dont understand my world and perhaps even hold a bit of envy that they arent as bold or defiant as I.. so they've tried to control me my whole life (again, my mother in particular.) Now im learning to just let it all go and understand that I look at myself in the mirror everyday, not them, that I am free.. not chained up by their expectations. So I understand your past distancing and silence. I felt moved to share this with you. (I personally did not have the best holiday.)
Watching you for years....I so appreciate your transparency in this whole journey.
Thank you so much for your experience and wisdom 🤲🏾 I’ve been waiting for this kind of video to feel supported on my current innerchild healing journey🪔✨
Ugh I just love you so much! Been following you for years and the strength and vulnerability you have is so inspiring! Sending you even more love❤thank you
You’re such a beautiful soul!! Thank you for your guidance and love~ I can feel it emanate from you 🌸
Very useful and honest tips to follow, also your vibrations are so positive even through this screen I can feel that you‘re on very good terms with yourself.
I also used some of these tips in the past and felt like I could be more positive by observing more but in some aspects I definitely still have to grow to learn and be more objective and don’t be so emotionally attached to what my family says to me.
It doesnt have to emotionally affect me, I can see it more as information or a puzzle piece of the picture that makes that person I call family.
I wish I could like this 1000 times, thank you hitomi 🙏🏽 I needed to hear this
this resonates so much more than you know. thank you
Infinite gratitude for the conversation prompts
hitomi, thank you for your wonderful video. Your words made me rethink about my perspectives towards my family and my trauma in a different way. I also agree that you see what you seek. We all are beautiful souls and deserve to be loved and protected. I've been back with my family in a while recently and trying to look and listen to things differently at how they talk and act to me and find love within. You words are very personal and strong. I was able to start my healing jouney out of the self-destructive and negative thoughts with your videos.
thank you for sharing these tips!!! i havent seen my family in over 5 years. i am w my mom thankfully, still its a lot to go back to the states and see them again. now i will be back with boundaries lol!!
This video is a gem. I’m still trying to get to a more objective and neutral place with my family, but one day I hope I can implement these tips! Family trauma is quiet the load to unpack
not even 2 minutes passed and I'm already crying, thank you for your kind words my lovely🌟
To hear this was so important to me right now. Thank u so much Hitomi ❤️
Very brave, thank you for your experience and advice, and giving examples! I am sure you are a role model in your family, planting a seed in your family. Much love and growth to you! ❤❤
Thank you immensely for this video. It is my favorite one you've ever made too.
16:41 i needed to hear this but I’ll come back later when my mother wound is healed. I am in great terms with everyone in my family except my mum. And i was so blinded by anger and bitterness towards her to see how much my brothers, sisters and dad love me. Now i have cut myself energetically completely off from her and anything she’s a part of. But i still show the rest of my family how much i value them and i allow myself to receive love from them. Maybe one day my mom will be welcome in my space but either way i am good 😌
Girl your hair!!! Tutorial please on how you got those amazing curls!! ❤
I cried so many times through this Thank you for sharing your story. It's so beautiful.
I love you. Thank you for existing💌
thank you so much Hitomi, made me tear up :') resonated so much, how could it not right after the holidays. I need my journal real quick.
Chills. Chills and tears. This was beautiful. I am so happy for you, sister.
I literally went straight to this video a soon as I saw u this resignated soo well woth me thabk u for sharing your story and love seeing how far uve come and continue to blossom beautiful have tue best day ever!🥰😘🥰
hitomi is our angel 🥺