This is one of the reasons I love KARD. They have always been incredibly real and transparent. BM has said a lot of things that I think most idols are too afraid to say and I'm glad that he is giving fans the reality check that we only see one point of view of idols and don't truly know their entire person behind closed doors. I respect him a lot for putting that out there.
This would've been cute if anyone actually cares who BM is. His group flopped, his solo career flopped. Nobody cares what he has to say except shaIIow kpopies like y'all LOL
@@darryl450We are all human and that does not automatically make you a predator, narcissist, fake, or abuser. Anyone who makes these kinds of comments is justifying abusers. You are part of the problem
@@Mariajbh2 i guess you didn't get the contest... Being human doesn't make you a predator narcissist or whatever... However humans knows each other's face , skin colours, accent , voice , some habits... Etc but we don't know each other's heart, that's what makes human beings unpredictable. Therefore one cannot know what to expect from humans 💁🚶 I guess that's what she was trying to say...
that’s fair.. i don’t expect the idols i like to be perfect or innocent or nice all the time but i don’t think it’s too much to assume they are normal human beings and not monsters abusing women, SAing, taping women in secret and distributing the videos in a group chat.. . that’s another level of “not perfect”
That what get me when people get so shocked. I know it will always be shocking but there are so many idols it’s not realistic to think all of them are good people.
Well yeah, but that's why Taeil went to Jaeil. I think the point it some people are in denial, and some people who all but worshiped him are like, "omg how could an IDOL do this?!" And the point is that idols aren't different than other humans. They can be fucked up. I think the original convo had more a context of "hey don't expect perfection" but the subtext of "we're different than what you think, our personas are a thing" also applies to Taeil and shows that you shouldn't worship idols like that bc you don't know who they really are, and if they are a good or bad person
Why when those idols fans get caught smoking and drunk and Hit someone, those idols fans will try so hard to defend them and will attacking and get mad if people say something about those idols and start to dragging other idols and say those idols didn't killed anyone and at least their idols apologize
AoA? Because that really goes to show that we can't assume all members will get along even if we tried to make them give each other chances. @@jessicaajirotutu525
Yeah....this makes me remember on post saying "oh this is the reason i stan gg they don't act all cute and UmU infront of camera" and I was like dont every idol irrespective to their gender do it what the heck is this logic? Plus we have heard about bullying in gg (even i dont remember name)
But you cannot act like it as just as likely as it is for a male group. How many female idols have been caught for SA crimes? This is coming from a chronic bg stan for all it's worth btw
Nobody said that? The vid literally said this clip is from 2020. The vid is just pointing out that people are naive for thinking idols are perfect. Regardless of the current scandals, that’s still true
Lol that's not what this video is talking about, sweetie. It's talking about the added layer of "but he never seemed like the type" that goes hand in hand with the idol image. Not a single one of them ever seems the type because they're acting. Matt wasn't excusing or blowing off Taeil's recent actions in the resurfaced podcast that he made 4 years ago. You know what resurfaced means, right?😂 He was trying to tell delusional fans that their expectations are too high, and idols have secrets and flaws too. It seems more relevant than ever in light of Taeil's recent behavior, but it wasn't said in reaction to it. 🤡
I think it was someone from ONF who said, I have 3 personalities - ON stage, OFF stage and real. When he was asked to clarify, he said "just because we show a certain "real" personality on camera, doesn't mean we act the same way when the cameras turn off. Even when we are OFF stage, as long as the cameras are around we have to act in a way that matches our "image". That was the moment I became a fan, TBH.
why I love ateez too.. they've called each other out on stuff before 😆 like they once did a live stream where they said who's the most different/ similar on and off camera and will call each other out on when they are sre acting different etc which is both hilarious and makes me love them more. they admit they arnt perfect and are different on and off camera. like the amount of time they are live "bro your idol image 😆" or have called each other out on who swears the most off camera, or who's done stupid shite at the dorms etc 😆 people who don't understand these idols are putting on personas on stage and on camera really need a reality check!
I wish they could be real. Like obviously they pee poop fart like normal humans and also cuss. But i mean if they show an angel image they should be a decent well mannered person off camera in real life too. These type of statements would just make me assume the worst of them. That they are all assholes irl and smoke and do drugs and abuse and beat women.
I'm not saying you should expect, but you should understand idols are only here for entertainment. You don't know them behind that, so there's a possibility for anything
@@HealingIsOk True like I'm all for idol image thing going away because they're regular people at the end of the day and all that, I'm sure some of them have shitty personalities under the mask too ,but like the bar is so low rn we just want them to be good people ffs 🥲 this entire Taeil situation is so fucked up like of all the opportunities given with becoming a successful idol he chose to be a creep. Damn disappointing. If there are others like him I hope they're caught as well no matter the group.
@@teeleaf9252 Well look what happening with the 'Burning Sun' horror where members of Big Bang set up a night club with other people to drug and r ape girls and film them doing it to those unconcession girls and spread those films via their mobile to others. Look when they finally got caught and the person who tried to help one of the girls was beaten up by police and the club security. Then when it was finally exposed the light slap over the wrist those Big Bang members got 2 year in jail and then free to set up shop in another country. Sex offenders in South Korea get away it their crimes or get a little slap over the wrist if they make a public apology. However their victims are left with scars for life.
These are 2 totally different things. BM’s making a point that idols have flaws too. Taeil on the other hand is far from reasonable flaw & downright appalling.
Nah, BM is saying Idols aren't only who they appear to be. End point. That doesn't just mean they're flawed people. That means you don't fuckin know them, so you have no idea what they're capable of, no matter what kind of image they have on camera or stage. Otherwise Taeil, Seungri, Jonghoon, Joonyoung, Himchan, Iron, Kris Wu, Go Youngwook.....none of those people "seemed to be the type" because of their carefully crafted idol images.....stans tend to let themselves be swayed by that, but sex crimes shouldn't be any more surprising from an idol than from a random man on the street.
But what really funny when fans think they know their idols really well, they think those idols just like their friends just because their idols treat them nicely and they even say they have special relationship with their idols
Fans aren’t saying he literally warned us about the Taeil situation. “He warned us” is just a way of saying that what BM said has been proven to be true. And it’s also clear (to me) he’s including himself in his statement. All idols, including him, are different irl.
I'm seeing people in the comments saying "Yeah but there's a difference". Listen to BM's tone. How he talks out of the side of his mouth and turns away. He isn't just telling you they're human with flaws, he is telling you some of them aren't good people. He can't come out and directly say it, but he is definitely hinting at it. Which we should all know and understand because there are so many idols.
people really act like idols are their besties or something. like you do NOT know these people, you only know what they are like in front of a camera or in front of an audience. yeah, you can hope that your bias is a good person but you’re stupid if you genuinely believe that they are an angel and would never do anything wrong. i’m always surprised by how quickly stans pick sides when a rumor comes out (not talking about Taeil, i’m talking about bullying rumors and such). like you don’t know this idol at all, they may be a bully and they may not. people are always so passionate about either defending their idols (“X idol would NEVER bully anyone!”) or completely bashing the idol (“X is a CONFIRMED bully and deserve to die”). both are so stupid because it reflects some level of parasocial relationship. you do not know this person well enough to defend OR accuse them of something, stop acting like you do.
To be honest this just gives trust issues. Like how am I supposed to trust anyone then. It can be said that the person you call your friend might be a crazy psychopath when they go back home. Like how can someone even trust anyone then
@hwaitingSeoul i mean yeah, you can't really assume anything about anyone, because people are unpredictable. but it's one thing to trust your friend, because you've spoken to them and hung out with them and overall know them as a person. it's not the same with a celebrity you've only seen on screen or if you're lucky, met like once or twice. celebrities are NOT your friends so yeah, you can't trust them.
@@hwaitingSeoul because the more you know about someone they more you study them the more you know them you can start to predict how they'll behave in certain situations as you get to know their character but even then we are all human and sometime we act out of our normal range and then we end up reflecting on our actions, motives if that person is a more ground and self reflective individual
The fact that "how did i get here " podcast by dive studio with jae and alexa have pretty much said how they have to look perfect. I cant bring out one ep but definitely throughout that 70 eps i m sure they have. And now when i think of it i remember how jae said " they mould you into who they wanna make you" as far as i remember. Many years passed now
loved how honest they were in every episode. both did not shy away from critiquing their own labels at all. + jae always seemed to give alexa more advice for the industry as a senior.
exactly, even jae mistake (that's another thing that people still can't get over) but the point is that don't treat idol as supreme. they are like us. some even worst than us. (the example is here) but atleast people like jae and bm are not justifying themsleve. they are transparent which is the best part. and if someone tries to speak without filters companies stop the (like channie and keeho)
@@minhall2214 yesss the companies have made the artists put such a thick filter that if once broken even with small mistake everything goes against them. If the companies let them be themselves like with flaws and imperfections it would be so much easier for the artists as well as the fans. Because the fans would not expect the their idols to be perfect like next to god.
@@hanniesnee exactly. Jae did wrong but the way people got so flabbergasted as if he said it to them. Yes HE WAS WRONG. But I felt he said it unintentionally. Like I sometimes say too to my bestie. If she realized that jae crossed his boundaries then they should talk it out personally. Even if jae apologize and she accepted atleast tell the people about this..
Was he warning?? I think he was just saying the idols we love arent idols but people who fuck up or maybe assholes and arent who we delude ourselves into thinking? Not necessarily a criminal.
Look, no one is perfect, the point of being a human is being flawed, but we are not judging these idols based on their personal choices or more like we shouldn’t be judging these idols based on their personal choices. Things like smoking or dating, or even having one night stands are things that everyone does, once you are adult you get to explore figure out what you like and proceed. But I hope it is a common notion that you cant be a criminal and a public figure, I wouldn’t;t mind if my bias is a playboy who keep it casual and sleeps around, But if he SAs someone, if he commits a crime that’s no excuse. I don’t expect my biased to be perfect I just expect them to be not criminals, that’s all.
Fans are naive and young, still. That’s why they’re still in that delusional state of mind thinking idols are perfect human beings, when really it’s all a business transaction. Not to mention everyone’s dating each other, too- fans are in denial.
Not Better, not perfect, are human being... These words are used for idol who are suffering from something, have anger issues, have more emotions than they show etc... Not FOR LITERAL CRIMINALS BRUHHH THESE WORDS ARE STILL POSITIVE in my opinion. Criminals are monster... But think whatever floats you boat.
It's a reminder that they, as humans, can in fact be monsters too. All humans have that capability and people should not throw caution to the wind just because of an image made for TV. People don't think twice about meeting an idol alone for some reason, yet they get weirded out by a stranger staring for too long. That idol is a stranger too.
That being said this can go for ANYONE in your life. Anyone you know personally. Your teacher may not be who you think they are, your neighbor, cousin, coach, pastor, doctor... the list goes on and on. This is not an idol problem, this is a people problem. So lets not start treating every idol suspiciously and automatically assuming that they're all fake and disingenuous.
What he said is correct. No one is seeing their faves REAL face. They all wearing a mask designed to please the audience. Whether they are a good person or a rotten one depends on the individual and unfortunately fans will never truly know until something bad happens like Taeil's crime comes to light. This is generally nothing new. Most people are wearing a mask until they get comfortable enough to drop it and show their true self. Celebs won't do this because they need to keep an image.
This is one example of why we have been telling you international fans to STOP believing that the idols and actors are like the roles they are playing. Idols when they are training they take acting classes too, so they are also playing a character on camera and on stage. What you all see on camera and on stage IS NOT what we see off camera and off stage. Many international K-pop and k-drama fans post things like "why are my standards so high?" then post a CHARACTER from a drama or idol. We have been telling you all for years that you need to stop romanticizing Korean men. I own a restaurant in Seoul and we (my staff and I) have a list of male idols and actors that I will not allow my female staff to serve because of how they treat women/girls. Everything from making disgusting comments about our bodies, trying to touch us w/o our consent, trying to get us to "go have ramyun" with them. One of the things that many of international fans do not know is how differently our laws and society treat men v/s the way they treat women. So many of you want to come to Korea but so many of you don't seem to understand that women's rights here are not like they are in western countries. The crimes with the highest rate per Ca-pita are crimes against women. From dating and marriage violence, SA, r@pe, to random physical assault. Recently a 21 yr old woman was coming home from work when a man who she walked by round house kicked her in the back of her head, then dragged her into a alley and r@ped her. The reason he assaulted her? He told police that she made eye contact with him without his permission. In my close friend group (as a 29 year old) there are 12 of us who have been friends our entire lives, every single one of us have either been sexually harassed, molested, SA'd, r@ped or physically assaulted. And the majority of our other female friends and family members have gone through the same. Foreign women who marry Korean men and move here, if they get divorced the court will give custody to the father EVEN WHEN HE IS ABUSIVE to the mother. Some of international fans favorite actors and idols have a history of being horrible. For instance actor Lee Jung-Jae who has been arrested several times for DUI and for dragging a 22 year old woman out of her car BY HER HAIR, threw her to the ground and physically assaulted her but he still has a very successful career. There are multiple actors in their late 40-60s who have done time in jail for things like drug use, SA, r@pe, grooming and sexual misconduct with minors. Yet they still have successful careers. Yet when actresses or female idols do anything like DUI it destroys their careers. One example of how differently males and female idols/actress(es).. look how many female idols and actresses who have been kicked out of their groups and dropped by their companies over bullying allegations (even after the rumors were proven to be lies) in comparison to how rare it is that a male idols/actor careers suffer. And let's not forget about the insane amount of the k-drama actors who cheat on their wives or girlfriends yet have a cult following of female fans who ignore those things and still think they are perfect men. Taeil is not the first idol or actors to be accused of sex crimes and unfortunately he won't be the last. Please stop thinking these men are perfect because they are like every other nationality of men, some are great but way too many are horrible.
I'm so sorry this is the reality you're living in. Watching documentaries and reading about South Korea the apparent misogyny and situation for women is actually one thing that has made it difficult for me to keep supporting the music industry. Because of course it's bound to be there as well. My Nordic country is by NO means perfect when it comes to equality, but when I read about the situation in SK I'm appalled. Sending you strenght and courage to keep fighting! 💚
Thankyou for this eye opener for many fans. I just wanna know is there any idol from famous group who was bad and you know his name? Plz? Bcz i am following some famous groups.
I mean I dont even act the same at work as I do at home or with friends. Most people put on personas to navigate daily life. Idol life is literally crafted through fake personas. How is this shocking lol
If you are fake with your friend then are you even a friend? I would unfriend if I had a friend like this. Its like you do not trust me enough to be vulnerable with me
I’ve really come to like how upfront and authentic BM, Peniel, Eric, Ashley is. I stumbled on to their podcast and am a regular because it’s really frank and honest.
Yeah, i knew it when i first watching Korean contents something is off because it's too good to be true that every Korean Actors and Idols act super kind and super well mannered in front of camera and in front of the fans
Taeil is CHARGED by the police, he is officially no longer innocent. And the behavior of the company, his members/best friend and the press continue to confirm it even though it was not necessary because when someone is officially charged by the police, double confirmation is not necessary. In the eyes of a narcissist or flying monkey, no amount of evidence will suffice
@@lingfeed Exactly. Taeil is CHARGED by the police, he is officially no longer innocent. And the behavior of the company, his members/best friend, and the press continue to confirm it even though it was not necessary because when someone is officially charged by the police, double confirmation is not necessary. In the eyes of a narcissist or a flying monkey, no amount of evidence will be enough.
@@Mariajbh2 What they mean is that we don't know exactly what happened. They're not saying he's innocent just that we don't really have much information about anything other than the fact he was charged with s3x crimes.
@@Lotte_-le7qi They need details? No details are needed. Only those who try to judge whether it is grave or not according to their criteria and narcissistic interest need them
there's a difference between being delulu about your bias/group thinking they're all innocent little babies, and being shocked to find out someone you cared about turned out to be a predator. the former is unhealthy parasocial idealization, the latter is simply expecting someone not to be a criminal and feeling let down and lied to when you find out they're a really bad person, which is perfectly normal and not fans being delusional or parasocial. it's also unhealthily and unnecessarily pessimistic to assume that any one of the idols we like could be predators off-camera. assume that they're human and make mistakes and do things many humans do like date or drink alcohol, sure! but to assume they could be a criminal, no! poeple shaming and criticizing fans for being hurt to find out their idol was an abuser/predator is so extremely devoid of empathy and basic reasoning skills. anyone who thinks like that has either just always been a kpop anti or used to be a kpop fan but grew bitter. to the former i say fuck you, go find something that makes you happy instead of hating on others who just want to enjoy music, fun performances, and a community of people with the same hobby, and to the latter, i'm sorry someone you trusted hurt you/that you fell out of love with kpop, but that's not any current fans' fault or even the fault of idols just doing their job. i hope you heal and learn to find more joy and positivity in your life.
What he said applies to people in general… stop putting your faves on a pedestal… they make mistakes, poop, cry, do dumb shit like all of us… in my experience the high school classmates that seem quiet and innocent are usually the ones with a secret long time boyfriends and a lot of experience 😂… the son of our church pastor is the first one to get a young woman pregnant out of wedlock… that rocker dude neighbour full of tattoos and piercings is a genuinely nice guy with cats and causes zero trouble… the coworker that is super smart and friends with everyone is also that one that spills and gossips about everybody’s personal lives… that auntie and uncle who are super rich and have seemingly perfect lives - their kids are depressed and addicts… nobody’s perfect. Take your time to get to know someone before letting them in your lives and giving them complete trust… we all learn as we grow… as for idols, just enjoy their their art and if they say or do anything that goes against your beliefs, hold them accountable and call them out on it… if it’s an unforgivable crime, jusr stop listening to their music and listen to something else
We are all human and that does not automatically make you a predator, a narcissist, an imposter, or an abuser. Anyone who makes these kinds of comments is justifying abusers.
@@user-tg9oo3ry4d @Shyreenify @zami2525 Many people say that for justifying idols, you only have to read the comments. You all show to be trolls that diverts the topic for manipulate
Over the years, I've learned a lot about how deeply toxic South Korean men can be. If you're a South Korean man reading this, please know that if you're a good person, I am obviously not including you in that group. To be honest, I've been thinking it's only a matter of time before we find more male kpop idols with disturbing pasts. I really feel for any fans of Taeil that are distraught by this news.
This is why I put a cap on supporting any more groups. I recently fell for seventeen, but oh well. Last last. I swear. No more. Ever. The less I stan, the less creeps I'm unknowingly supporting. Also, my emotions and trust are only invested in one group, so there's not a lot of room for disappointments.
The ideal solution is to like as many groups as u want, listen to a lot of groups, like them for their on screen persona, but at the same time, don't get emotionally invested. U don't HAVE to not support many groups, just don't believe that u know those people, that's enough.
as a carat who's also a practical person, after I learnt about the Taeil situation I just said that all I can hope is that none of the 13 men turns out to be anything like this or a terrible person in general. that's all I can hope for. I will stan them till the end but I am stupid enough to break down and cry my eyes out if any one of them turns out to be a bad person. because at the end of the day we don't know them but can hope for well.
@@sumedhasmagicalseries389you can be emotionally invested in an idol's life and work and still not be stupid enough to think that you actually know how they are behind the doors.
@@SleepIntoTheDiamondLife Being emotionally invested in a celebrity's life in itself is stupidity. Most of these famous people wouldn't want anything to do with you off screen. I know it's a bitter pill to swallow but you're just gonna have to swallow it at some point.
First I like the music. That's what gets me and my attention. Then, I may move on to the artist and get to know them/him/her and the personality. There are a number of recording artists that I have no idea about the first thing about their lives or them, and I'm talking decades ago. I'm 52. Of course, in the K-pop world, I just hope the artists are good people who don't kick a dog when it is a sleep. (You know what I mean?) It's like Felix said, he's not an angel. (He's probably close, though.😂) No one is perfect, and the best of us have our bad days. Love and peace! 🤟
don't bring unnecessary hate to BM with your bad wording! he talked about that in 2020 not "AMID" this chaos? if you're quoting him, be respectful to him as well.
Ofc celebs often arent as how they present themselves in front of a camera BUT people still dont assume everyone is a woman beater or harrasses them s*xually and so on. I mean you also dont walk outside and assume all humans are bad people. So being shocked when such news get to the surface is normal. No one is perfect but still people dont really expect the worst. Since not many new news are out and as far as I know it still isnt 100% confirmed that he is actually guilty...at least the police didnt publish anything further (or at least I didnt see it)... what I have to say is...he is one of the most talented vocalists in kpop...why would anyone just ruin their career like this??? He was never my favourite NCT member but damn his voice was just waaaay toooo good. Whatever the result of the investigation is , I just hope whoever the victim is and whoever the guilty one is that they receive the justice and punishment they deserve.
You don’t really know these people. I would never be surprised by something like this because I again I don’t actually know them. Also just because someone is quiet doesn’t mean they are a good person. People think those who do bad things are cartoon characters villains who angry and evil… Even people who do bad things can have traits that are positive, they can be friendly to one person and sexually assault another. People aren’t cartoon characters.
This saved me from an unbearable pain. I would have been in pain God knows how long, if not had i listen to him. Now i know the person im grieving for really didn't exist
This is why I always say “they seem nice” or their tv “personality….” or I just avoid talking about their personalities in general Cause they are just acting most if not all the time and y’all forget the they get acting lessons. Lastly I hate how people are always come to this conclusion only when there is drama then afterwards they go back to acting the same way. There’s not thing as “a real idol” people try to force it so hard to their favs can be relatable to them
I feel like that is the case with most celebrities, most of them are trying to project an image that will sell, thry are not always good people or what they appear to be
i have so much respect for him for that. one thing i've always respected about bm is i truly feel he tries to be as real as possible. just as he said he's not perfect, there are things we don't know, but those things are things that don't need to be said either. he has a right to privacy as much as any idol does. one thing i don't exact appreciate is involving taeil in it. yes it's a good thing to remind people of, always, but let's also remember taeil hasn't been proven guilty OR innocent of anything. i think we all need to stand a neutral ground until more is said. to start assuming things and listening to the rumors- we know what has been actually said by the company, taeil and legal authorities, he left, nothing and it was an ACCUSATION by a person of age. i don't want to name names but when everything started going around, seeing even an idol who knows first hand very well how fans can be, making a comment on it, i felt disgusted. not just by that idol either, all the people listening to the rumors, jumping to conclusions, be patient. and please know me saying this, i'm in no way supporting taeil. if he gets proven guilty it's gonna make me nauseous. it's already had me questioning shit about my favorite idols again, making me wish i never got attached to these people and just enjoyed their music. although if he gets proven innocent i'll also be able to honestly say i never attacked him, i never said anything negative regarding him. way too often idols are being falsely accused of stuff and immediately face hate only for their once fans to essentially get laughed at in their faces.. remember everything is rumors and accusations as of now
I lost my trust in celebrities when my fav actor got involved in a controversy.I wanted to not believe it so bad but the accusations against him i feel is likely to be true.Cannot look at him the same way now.
I don't know why anyone trusts celebrities in the first place. It's not like for a person to be famous or talented they have to be a good person. You can be the most talented and in the same time the most vile person ever.What you see is a persona. And also those people have extra power and money and for many people money corrupts and gets them thinking they can do things without consequences.
Not only should fans not be anything more than a fan, and not believe everything you see and hear in content, but you should also NOT be concerned with celebrities dating! Their personal relationships are NOT your concern. If they have partners mind your own business and find your own happiness.
I have family members that have left me in shock with the things I found out after getting older, So Im glad Bm is open to shining a light in the hearts of kpop fans, this goes for everyone, make sure you really know who you let into your heart. This is earth you guys😅 So this does not surprise me at all anymore & I hope anyone who sees this just stays alert.
To be honest it just sounds sad and kind of betrayal of sorts because why the fuck would you act like someone you are not. Its better to say its a work personality that is somewhat similar to your real personality. I mean it would be disheartening to know if a comedian is not doing comedy irl. Idk. It just seems sad to me. I mean if you act like an angel atleast you should be a decent well mannered person in real life.
Its harder to deal with this type of betrayal when idols hide their real personalities and portray themselves as something they are not...for me, it was easier to deal with Seungri's scandal since he never portrayed himself as a goody two shoes but I struggled with TVXQs Yunho since I bought into his image.
One reason why i'm never shocked( though i feel bad when idols especially those i like become embroiled in one because i feel like its a waste of their talent) when i see these so called " scandals"... Not generalizing... but hormonal 20 something idols with money, looks and power?.... a potent mix... That's why I find it really funny when these fan girls cry fowl and act like they've got their panties all up in a twist when their idols get photographed just puffing a cigarette... all i could think off is " they're probably doing more questionable things, we really don't know"....That's why i don't buy into the companies' strategy to package their idols which results to them being restricted in their actions... Because the more they are restricted and suppressed the more likely they would feel the need to do what they feel or want to do...its like suppressing boiling water... sooner or later that water would eventually overflow and bubble over...
To me it was when they news about this whole situation and I was like oh well this ain’t the first or last time that we as K-pop fans have heard stuff like this gin g down and how idols show there true colors because what we see in MV’S and live performances it’s not the real them at all
Infelizmente é o que a indústria induz as pessoas a aceeditar. Sempre mantendo uma imagem mais jovem, mais inocente, fazendo os idols fazerem brincadeiras bobas e comportamentos mais infantilizados. Cobrando sempre uma conduta perfeita. O fato também de quase nunca mostrar a vida pessoal impede de enxergar o lado "humano" a maneira que eles se relacionam com as pessoas. Mantendo sempre aquela imagem imaculada que eles escolheram. Tirando o fato de que a maioria dos fans sao jovens, não da para culpar totalmente as pessoas em acreditar no que elas meticulosamente foi induzida a acreditar, não é como se ela tivesse inventado uma imagem perfeita do nada, eles realmente fazem isso.
Fans really need to accept that they dont know their idols and their idols dont know them these are regular people too dont put your ideal of what they should be like on them especially shippers who put group members as couples
Both of them are right about it. They are just people and have to be a certain way when performing & in public, while being different in private. People need to remember that and for the most part back off & chill out
I mean it's not a thing to say or be reminded of all the time because people know how the world works unless you're delusional and think we're in heaven where everything is perfect.. It can happens to anyone so be careful people
Sad thing is an idol shouldn't even need/have to say this for us as fans to know this fact. The entertainment industry as whole whether it be kpop or wherever is very much a manufactured or fabricated world. It is a dark world painted as perfection, glitz and glamour most of the time. Y'all need to limit the parasocial delusions and just acknowledge it for what it is (both the good and bad).
There’s nothing shocking about what was said cause at the end of the day, we dk these people, we only know their public persona, that’s why stan culture is rather weird when it comes to celebrities/idols cause people’s obsession and how they go do overboard for people they don’t know is rather disturbing and concerning, knowing wrong with defending people from wrongdoings and bad treatment no matter who they are but parasocial obsession/idolize makes people take everything overboard with who they stan and it makes me uncomfortable and why I tend to not partake in fandoms
What he said is true this is why we cant be delulu just enjoy the music thats it dont call them your husband bf Because we dont know who artists really are we just have to support their work Saying hes my bias and is good looking is ok But not any kinda relationship with artists Just stay fan thats it and enjoy what they bring on table also artists are humans not dolls so even ppl be controling them is wrong too yet alone fan service culture is also weird Not every human being is bad but then who knows who celebrities really are. Just enjoy music
BM saying that is so real and also i think him BM also said back then that their are few groups/idols he knows thats the same with or without the camera one of them is skz
fans need to stop expecting their idols to be perfect, especially in Kpop where the standart is so out of touch with reality. they are just humans like you and me after all.
Every time someone says oh my gosh wtf and then goes on to rant about how this is why we shouldn't put idols/celebs on a pedestal I always always reply stfu 🙄. The thing is we don't actually know these people bruh like your own family member could be a freak or scum so why are people always shocked that celebs who at the end of the day are just people like me or you might not be as squeaky clean as their companies show them to be? Doctors, lawyers, teachers are pedos and creeps, why would anyone else in any other career path be different? At the end of the day it's the person and we can't see into their heart or mind to know who they truly are so we need to stop being humbled by scandals such as this and remember the saying "you can't judge a book by its cover". Some people are just evil, sad but true 🤷🏾♀️.
Why is anybody surprised? Ofc we dont expect people to be literal criminals, thats too much. But idols literally get trained on how to act infront of a camera and in media. Plus, have a group of people around them constantly reminding them not to say or do certain things. And on top of that WE DONT KNOW THESE PEOPLE PERSONALLY. They could have 200+ people vouch for them personally and it still doesnt mean anything. They could still treat you like trash. Take Seugri's dad for example, lying saying his son knew nothing about what was going on. Para social relationships are a blight on society.
I mean, there's a difference between not being perfect, and being a criminal, just saying. I rather stan an idol that farts very stinkly than a literal criminal.
I think everyone shoul be know about that. Me as a human.. is other people know who i really am.. (i am insecure, moody, but i do not want other people know about it..😬 cos i want other people know me as a good person..) normally people show good sides about themselves..come on.. only God knows ..
He also himself said that he is not perfect either. We know him too just by the screen. Let's not normalize proposing to the idols, it's uncomfortable for them too and it's weird for us too❤
I know one thing we Need to let the police handle this. Because, as soon as the news came out, a lot of you were quick to judge him and call him untalented but no evidence or facts have been let out yet. Let's see if he's guilty or not. Because you have a lot of liars out there Who make it bad for the ones who really got terrible things happen to them. Try to speak out. Until the evidence, I'm not judging him at all I go by evidence and facts, not rumors
Honestly I believe he commit some kind of crime but don't how big the crime is. Rumors cannot be easily believed, but the fact he commit crime in almost undeniable as police is involved in this matter.
@@hafizzimohamad5204Not necessarily as he may be suspicious but does it mean he is truly guilty? Not really and they may call him for questioning but they did not charge him and are still investigating. I was watching a crime show about murder and this one guy really looked guilty. I thought it was him for sure but in the end, he was innocent. Not sure if it is the case here but my point is as outsiders, we may never know the full truth. However, with time we may know more.
I agreed with BM..there are so many obsessed asses everywhere and they delulu asf💔🫠 this people act so shock like they knew celebs. Sex crim means a sex crime and we don't need details!! Just listen to their music watch dramas and enjoy it have fun!! And focus on ur daily life.. it's not that hard Edit : after 4 weeks later i'm updating this cos of idiot under my comments.. go check teail situation now!!!
He proves himself to be a narcissist who blames fans for not suspecting an idol could be a predator or criminal. He is part of the problem, another narcissistic idol and you guys prove yourself in the comments to be flying monkeys. And narcissist or flying monkeys aren't real
@@Mariajbh2 what ?? 🤦♀️😂 bro who give a shit he is narcissist or not i juat said i agreed with him !!! I watch this interw and i got wht he trying to say ...just understand the damn thing man!!!🤦♀️💔😮💨
@@Takashi-mitzuya So you are another narcissist. You evidence yourself😂. There is nothing to "understand" about a narcissist, it's not a problem of understanding
@@Mariajbh2 alright sir alright😂🙏 u right u know everything!!! U are the god of knowledge.. i'm sorry lord please forgive me for offend u and for being a narcissist😪🙏 amen!!!!
I wasn’t surprised when this came out💀 that’s why you don’t idolize or worship people you don’t know…. And kpop idols at the end of the day are people, human being can do some FUCKED UP shit, some may feel remorse other may not. My point is, people aren’t always who you think they are, so don’t be surprise when something crazy comes out about your fav because you NEVER really knew them personally to began with. So why would you be surprised?
I mean what did he say that was wrong alot of these fans don't know who their idols are personally ppl need to stop getting mad cause he spoke the truth yup tell the truth big papi Mateo don't sugar coat
Kpop fans are majority teenagers,young and naive… They put idols on high esteem,but even the most humble and innocent idol can surprise you,I’m not saying they’re all bad,but they’re strangers to us,we only see them on cameras,they’ve been trained on how to do literally everything,including smile,talk,walk etc. Nothing about this idols on camera can be 💯 genuine,it’s their job,they have to act to fans to get money. Yet you see fans speaking about idols as though they know them on a personal scale. Just enjoy their music and the personality they show on camera,you can never know their true self. I’ve never been surprised by anything idols do cos I know they’re humans,capable of all sorts of heinous crimes like anyone out there,they just have better cover for their crimes,as kpop fans would do almost anything to support their faves.
But why are you surprised? Idols are human. They have virtues and flaws. Like all the rest of us mortals. What is wrong is to idealize someone you do not know. We don't know idols. We see what companies want us to see. We don't know the person behind that perfect image. We should admire and praise them but their talents, but not to put them in a status of gods. I heard all the time: oh, this X idols is a good person, He/she wouldn't dare to do something like that, they are perfect and they poop glitter and puke unicorns. That is the problem. They are humans too and as such, we are capable of committing the most atrocious acts. Stop putting artists on a pedestal.
Onestly dont know If I love this comment section or hate it, because kpop stans turned from my idol could never to every idol is suspect so fast. They are just people , everyone could be a moster, you siblings, parents you never know, but do you suspect every last one of them? Probably not so stop being so dramatic. Taeil is disgusting, there is no doubth about that,but that doesnt mean every one in the industry is, and for comments about how BM didnt speak about bulling rummors in his group, so what he didnt its hard to deal with it if its your close friends and it was just rummor, you cant asume people are guilty without any evidence. Onestly there is no group that didnt have this kind of rummors or other scandals in their carrier, and some of them were true but like 90 procents, never are. They are just created by antis, get Woojin for example how people ruined his carier by simly not liking that he leaved skz co created that horrible rumor. And for the jealous people here, that their bias or idol cant speak this openly, so they are rude to others with opinions, get hang of your selfs, and stop being pain in the ass, get life. (Also sorry for my english, not first langue)
I feel like this is more towards like idols can do drugs or have a dating life not idols can be sex criminals like no one expects that cause I think a lot of people try to think positive and have hope for humanity that people are good people and not horrible people :/
I agree but I think he is making the statement that if you only know the person from behind a screen they are still a stranger. You can like an idols persona but don't get emotionally attached. It's normal to be surprised about it but we just shouldn't believe that they aren't capable of it. He's probably telling fans not to use their tv persona as a way to defend an idol because it's not always their true selves.
This is one of the reasons I love KARD. They have always been incredibly real and transparent. BM has said a lot of things that I think most idols are too afraid to say and I'm glad that he is giving fans the reality check that we only see one point of view of idols and don't truly know their entire person behind closed doors. I respect him a lot for putting that out there.
That's just bm tho...none of the other members ever say anything. Even when there were bullying allegations with somin. They all stayed quiet.
@@ilive4anime.They cant spend their energy at every rumor
This would've been cute if anyone actually cares who BM is. His group flopped, his solo career flopped. Nobody cares what he has to say except shaIIow kpopies like y'all LOL
@@urhypeboyStay mad...
And what happens if BM does something stupid are you still gonna respect him and love him?
Anyone surprised, shocked, disturbed or otherwise bothered by what he said...needs to wake up !
I have always said the same thing about K-Pop stars. They are.
Human beings just like Us
@@darryl450same
Exactly. The trouble is kpop is portrayed that way & young fans lap it up. The whole system needs to change imo.
@@darryl450We are all human and that does not automatically make you a predator, narcissist, fake, or abuser. Anyone who makes these kinds of comments is justifying abusers. You are part of the problem
@@Mariajbh2 i guess you didn't get the contest...
Being human doesn't make you a predator narcissist or whatever... However humans knows each other's face , skin colours, accent , voice , some habits... Etc but we don't know each other's heart, that's what makes human beings unpredictable. Therefore one cannot know what to expect from humans 💁🚶
I guess that's what she was trying to say...
that’s fair.. i don’t expect the idols i like to be perfect or innocent or nice all the time but i don’t think it’s too much to assume they are normal human beings and not monsters abusing women, SAing, taping women in secret and distributing the videos in a group chat.. . that’s another level of “not perfect”
Tbf humans are complex creatures. Many humans are capable of being bad and terrible
Yeah, I was going to say... I don't expect perfection from anyone, but I do expect them not to be actual criminals.
That what get me when people get so shocked. I know it will always be shocking but there are so many idols it’s not realistic to think all of them are good people.
@@cloudsn I don't even expect that how many artists and have turned out to abusers of some kind, criminals, etc just think about.
Well yeah, but that's why Taeil went to Jaeil. I think the point it some people are in denial, and some people who all but worshiped him are like, "omg how could an IDOL do this?!" And the point is that idols aren't different than other humans. They can be fucked up. I think the original convo had more a context of "hey don't expect perfection" but the subtext of "we're different than what you think, our personas are a thing" also applies to Taeil and shows that you shouldn't worship idols like that bc you don't know who they really are, and if they are a good or bad person
If you’re shocked that an idols image is fabricated then maybe you are too naive😊
That's exactly what I thought
Definitely
Thats why I always look at idols as basically actors.
Why when those idols fans get caught smoking and drunk and Hit someone, those idols fans will try so hard to defend them and will attacking and get mad if people say something about those idols and start to dragging other idols and say those idols didn't killed anyone and at least their idols apologize
Me: *sobs on floor in naive*
One said "stan GG's....." well they also act infront of camera it's not like that only males are like that you can believe anyone on camera
Reminds me of the gg that had members bullying each other. I can't remember their name
@@jessicaajirotutu525AOA
AoA? Because that really goes to show that we can't assume all members will get along even if we tried to make them give each other chances. @@jessicaajirotutu525
Yeah....this makes me remember on post saying "oh this is the reason i stan gg they don't act all cute and UmU infront of camera" and I was like dont every idol irrespective to their gender do it what the heck is this logic? Plus we have heard about bullying in gg (even i dont remember name)
But you cannot act like it as just as likely as it is for a male group. How many female idols have been caught for SA crimes? This is coming from a chronic bg stan for all it's worth btw
Always with the “you should’ve known your idols aren’t perfect” when they did something truly heinous that would be surprising coming from anyone
Nobody said that? The vid literally said this clip is from 2020. The vid is just pointing out that people are naive for thinking idols are perfect. Regardless of the current scandals, that’s still true
Lol that's not what this video is talking about, sweetie. It's talking about the added layer of "but he never seemed like the type" that goes hand in hand with the idol image. Not a single one of them ever seems the type because they're acting. Matt wasn't excusing or blowing off Taeil's recent actions in the resurfaced podcast that he made 4 years ago. You know what resurfaced means, right?😂 He was trying to tell delusional fans that their expectations are too high, and idols have secrets and flaws too. It seems more relevant than ever in light of Taeil's recent behavior, but it wasn't said in reaction to it. 🤡
I think it was someone from ONF who said, I have 3 personalities - ON stage, OFF stage and real. When he was asked to clarify, he said "just because we show a certain "real" personality on camera, doesn't mean we act the same way when the cameras turn off. Even when we are OFF stage, as long as the cameras are around we have to act in a way that matches our "image".
That was the moment I became a fan, TBH.
I love them and their music need more recognition ^^~
I love ONF
why I love ateez too.. they've called each other out on stuff before 😆 like they once did a live stream where they said who's the most different/ similar on and off camera and will call each other out on when they are sre acting different etc which is both hilarious and makes me love them more. they admit they arnt perfect and are different on and off camera. like the amount of time they are live "bro your idol image 😆" or have called each other out on who swears the most off camera, or who's done stupid shite at the dorms etc 😆 people who don't understand these idols are putting on personas on stage and on camera really need a reality check!
I read ONF as only fans and I was so confused 🧑🦯
I wish they could be real. Like obviously they pee poop fart like normal humans and also cuss. But i mean if they show an angel image they should be a decent well mannered person off camera in real life too. These type of statements would just make me assume the worst of them. That they are all assholes irl and smoke and do drugs and abuse and beat women.
Bro was right 😭 but we didn't expect an idol to turn out like this man wtf😭
I'm not saying you should expect, but you should understand idols are only here for entertainment. You don't know them behind that, so there's a possibility for anything
@@HealingIsOk True like I'm all for idol image thing going away because they're regular people at the end of the day and all that, I'm sure some of them have shitty personalities under the mask too ,but like the bar is so low rn we just want them to be good people ffs 🥲 this entire Taeil situation is so fucked up like of all the opportunities given with becoming a successful idol he chose to be a creep. Damn disappointing. If there are others like him I hope they're caught as well no matter the group.
@teeleaf9252 Yes, it's really disgusting, and why us girls can't even walk down the street without fear
@@teeleaf9252 Well look what happening with the 'Burning Sun' horror where members of Big Bang set up a night club with other people to drug and r ape girls and film them doing it to those unconcession girls and spread those films via their mobile to others. Look when they finally got caught and the person who tried to help one of the girls was beaten up by police and the club security. Then when it was finally exposed the light slap over the wrist those Big Bang members got 2 year in jail and then free to set up shop in another country. Sex offenders in South Korea get away it their crimes or get a little slap over the wrist if they make a public apology. However their victims are left with scars for life.
@@HealingIsOk We just never win even in the music we seek comfort in somehow gets tied back to how unsafe it is to be a woman in this world.
These are 2 totally different things. BM’s making a point that idols have flaws too. Taeil on the other hand is far from reasonable flaw & downright appalling.
Nah, BM is saying Idols aren't only who they appear to be. End point. That doesn't just mean they're flawed people. That means you don't fuckin know them, so you have no idea what they're capable of, no matter what kind of image they have on camera or stage. Otherwise Taeil, Seungri, Jonghoon, Joonyoung, Himchan, Iron, Kris Wu, Go Youngwook.....none of those people "seemed to be the type" because of their carefully crafted idol images.....stans tend to let themselves be swayed by that, but sex crimes shouldn't be any more surprising from an idol than from a random man on the street.
That's what I want my fellow kpop stans to understand "We only know them through screen"🤷♀️
But what really funny when fans think they know their idols really well, they think those idols just like their friends just because their idols treat them nicely and they even say they have special relationship with their idols
Exactly. It's okay to love and support your idols, but just remember that they aren't perfect and we only see what's put out into the media.
@reeses_unicorn , why only need to see the fault and flaw in idols when normal people also full of sins
@@airinavasquez4164I literally never said that.
@@reeses_unicorn , grandma look what you say about idols not about every human being
Exactly. It's a fabricated image, crazy how SURE ppl are about how "GREAT" their bias is
1:13 “Praising him for being real and warning us” bye y’all are taking his word now 😭
Fans aren’t saying he literally warned us about the Taeil situation. “He warned us” is just a way of saying that what BM said has been proven to be true. And it’s also clear (to me) he’s including himself in his statement. All idols, including him, are different irl.
I'm seeing people in the comments saying "Yeah but there's a difference". Listen to BM's tone. How he talks out of the side of his mouth and turns away. He isn't just telling you they're human with flaws, he is telling you some of them aren't good people. He can't come out and directly say it, but he is definitely hinting at it. Which we should all know and understand because there are so many idols.
You can't train and debut teenagers and hand them fame in a super mysoginistic society and expect them to be good people who make smart choices.
people really act like idols are their besties or something. like you do NOT know these people, you only know what they are like in front of a camera or in front of an audience. yeah, you can hope that your bias is a good person but you’re stupid if you genuinely believe that they are an angel and would never do anything wrong.
i’m always surprised by how quickly stans pick sides when a rumor comes out (not talking about Taeil, i’m talking about bullying rumors and such). like you don’t know this idol at all, they may be a bully and they may not. people are always so passionate about either defending their idols (“X idol would NEVER bully anyone!”) or completely bashing the idol (“X is a CONFIRMED bully and deserve to die”). both are so stupid because it reflects some level of parasocial relationship. you do not know this person well enough to defend OR accuse them of something, stop acting like you do.
It also shows the a level of intelligence or lack of it of those people.
That's why anytime idols have bullying scandals they're innocent till proven guilty in my eyes.
To be honest this just gives trust issues. Like how am I supposed to trust anyone then. It can be said that the person you call your friend might be a crazy psychopath when they go back home. Like how can someone even trust anyone then
@hwaitingSeoul i mean yeah, you can't really assume anything about anyone, because people are unpredictable. but it's one thing to trust your friend, because you've spoken to them and hung out with them and overall know them as a person. it's not the same with a celebrity you've only seen on screen or if you're lucky, met like once or twice. celebrities are NOT your friends so yeah, you can't trust them.
@@hwaitingSeoul because the more you know about someone they more you study them the more you know them you can start to predict how they'll behave in certain situations as you get to know their character but even then we are all human and sometime we act out of our normal range and then we end up reflecting on our actions, motives if that person is a more ground and self reflective individual
The fact that "how did i get here " podcast by dive studio with jae and alexa have pretty much said how they have to look perfect. I cant bring out one ep but definitely throughout that 70 eps i m sure they have. And now when i think of it i remember how jae said " they mould you into who they wanna make you" as far as i remember. Many years passed now
loved how honest they were in every episode. both did not shy away from critiquing their own labels at all. + jae always seemed to give alexa more advice for the industry as a senior.
exactly, even jae mistake (that's another thing that people still can't get over) but the point is that don't treat idol as supreme. they are like us. some even worst than us. (the example is here) but atleast people like jae and bm are not justifying themsleve. they are transparent which is the best part. and if someone tries to speak without filters companies stop the (like channie and keeho)
@@minhall2214 yesss the companies have made the artists put such a thick filter that if once broken even with small mistake everything goes against them. If the companies let them be themselves like with flaws and imperfections it would be so much easier for the artists as well as the fans. Because the fans would not expect the their idols to be perfect like next to god.
@@hanniesnee exactly. Jae did wrong but the way people got so flabbergasted as if he said it to them. Yes HE WAS WRONG. But I felt he said it unintentionally. Like I sometimes say too to my bestie. If she realized that jae crossed his boundaries then they should talk it out personally. Even if jae apologize and she accepted atleast tell the people about this..
Was he warning?? I think he was just saying the idols we love arent idols but people who fuck up or maybe assholes and arent who we delude ourselves into thinking? Not necessarily a criminal.
Look, no one is perfect, the point of being a human is being flawed, but we are not judging these idols based on their personal choices or more like we shouldn’t be judging these idols based on their personal choices. Things like smoking or dating, or even having one night stands are things that everyone does, once you are adult you get to explore figure out what you like and proceed. But I hope it is a common notion that you cant be a criminal and a public figure, I wouldn’t;t mind if my bias is a playboy who keep it casual and sleeps around, But if he SAs someone, if he commits a crime that’s no excuse. I don’t expect my biased to be perfect I just expect them to be not criminals, that’s all.
THIS!!!! the most realistic thing I have read and the only comment I can relate to.
Same
Very well said
YES!!! This exactly.
EXACTLY. they can do anything they want. have their rights but misusing the rights is never a case. what he did. got the karma thankfully. justfied.
Fans are naive and young, still. That’s why they’re still in that delusional state of mind thinking idols are perfect human beings, when really it’s all a business transaction. Not to mention everyone’s dating each other, too- fans are in denial.
Not Better, not perfect, are human being... These words are used for idol who are suffering from something, have anger issues, have more emotions than they show etc...
Not FOR LITERAL CRIMINALS BRUHHH THESE WORDS ARE STILL POSITIVE in my opinion. Criminals are monster... But think whatever floats you boat.
It's a reminder that they, as humans, can in fact be monsters too. All humans have that capability and people should not throw caution to the wind just because of an image made for TV. People don't think twice about meeting an idol alone for some reason, yet they get weirded out by a stranger staring for too long. That idol is a stranger too.
Why are people shocked? Nobody learnt from the burning sun scandal? SMH
That being said this can go for ANYONE in your life. Anyone you know personally. Your teacher may not be who you think they are, your neighbor, cousin, coach, pastor, doctor... the list goes on and on. This is not an idol problem, this is a people problem.
So lets not start treating every idol suspiciously and automatically assuming that they're all fake and disingenuous.
BM is seriously awesome. He’s so freaking real, tells the truth, is an active Palestine supporter, just wow.
Oh yeah, supporting terrorist organizattions is just "so awesome".
Not perfect is ok...being a criminal is not...😡
What he said is correct. No one is seeing their faves REAL face. They all wearing a mask designed to please the audience. Whether they are a good person or a rotten one depends on the individual and unfortunately fans will never truly know until something bad happens like Taeil's crime comes to light. This is generally nothing new. Most people are wearing a mask until they get comfortable enough to drop it and show their true self. Celebs won't do this because they need to keep an image.
Honestly, I have some respect for him now. I've never seen this video, nor do I know much about him or KARD, but he really was warning the viewers.
It's entertainment industry, everyone is putting on a mask.
This is one example of why we have been telling you international fans to STOP believing that the idols and actors are like the roles they are playing. Idols when they are training they take acting classes too, so they are also playing a character on camera and on stage. What you all see on camera and on stage IS NOT what we see off camera and off stage. Many international K-pop and k-drama fans post things like "why are my standards so high?" then post a CHARACTER from a drama or idol. We have been telling you all for years that you need to stop romanticizing Korean men. I own a restaurant in Seoul and we (my staff and I) have a list of male idols and actors that I will not allow my female staff to serve because of how they treat women/girls. Everything from making disgusting comments about our bodies, trying to touch us w/o our consent, trying to get us to "go have ramyun" with them.
One of the things that many of international fans do not know is how differently our laws and society treat men v/s the way they treat women. So many of you want to come to Korea but so many of you don't seem to understand that women's rights here are not like they are in western countries. The crimes with the highest rate per Ca-pita are crimes against women. From dating and marriage violence, SA, r@pe, to random physical assault. Recently a 21 yr old woman was coming home from work when a man who she walked by round house kicked her in the back of her head, then dragged her into a alley and r@ped her. The reason he assaulted her? He told police that she made eye contact with him without his permission. In my close friend group (as a 29 year old) there are 12 of us who have been friends our entire lives, every single one of us have either been sexually harassed, molested, SA'd, r@ped or physically assaulted. And the majority of our other female friends and family members have gone through the same. Foreign women who marry Korean men and move here, if they get divorced the court will give custody to the father EVEN WHEN HE IS ABUSIVE to the mother. Some of international fans favorite actors and idols have a history of being horrible. For instance actor Lee Jung-Jae who has been arrested several times for DUI and for dragging a 22 year old woman out of her car BY HER HAIR, threw her to the ground and physically assaulted her but he still has a very successful career. There are multiple actors in their late 40-60s who have done time in jail for things like drug use, SA, r@pe, grooming and sexual misconduct with minors. Yet they still have successful careers. Yet when actresses or female idols do anything like DUI it destroys their careers. One example of how differently males and female idols/actress(es).. look how many female idols and actresses who have been kicked out of their groups and dropped by their companies over bullying allegations (even after the rumors were proven to be lies) in comparison to how rare it is that a male idols/actor careers suffer. And let's not forget about the insane amount of the k-drama actors who cheat on their wives or girlfriends yet have a cult following of female fans who ignore those things and still think they are perfect men. Taeil is not the first idol or actors to be accused of sex crimes and unfortunately he won't be the last. Please stop thinking these men are perfect because they are like every other nationality of men, some are great but way too many are horrible.
I'm so sorry this is the reality you're living in. Watching documentaries and reading about South Korea the apparent misogyny and situation for women is actually one thing that has made it difficult for me to keep supporting the music industry. Because of course it's bound to be there as well. My Nordic country is by NO means perfect when it comes to equality, but when I read about the situation in SK I'm appalled. Sending you strenght and courage to keep fighting! 💚
Sheesh thanks for this post. Did not know this about Lee Jung Jae. That is crazy!
Thankyou for this eye opener for many fans. I just wanna know is there any idol from famous group who was bad and you know his name? Plz? Bcz i am following some famous groups.
you honestly think they are actors and act in all their content? many idols are actually real and themselve in front of the camera
lemme say this, your favourite oppa is very likely to be a misogynist growing up in that society so keep your expectation low.
That’s why I only use idols as daydream material for my imaginary storylines before I go to bed
I mean I dont even act the same at work as I do at home or with friends. Most people put on personas to navigate daily life. Idol life is literally crafted through fake personas. How is this shocking lol
But we are adult's with mature thinking minds, have seen a bit of life while those who are shocked are children with immature brains.
If you are fake with your friend then are you even a friend? I would unfriend if I had a friend like this. Its like you do not trust me enough to be vulnerable with me
I’ve really come to like how upfront and authentic BM, Peniel, Eric, Ashley is. I stumbled on to their podcast and am a regular because it’s really frank and honest.
Yeah, i knew it when i first watching Korean contents something is off because it's too good to be true that every Korean Actors and Idols act super kind and super well mannered in front of camera and in front of the fans
I love how real BM keeps things…real gentleman😩
"While little has been confirmed"???? How many official statements you need?
Taeil is CHARGED by the police, he is officially no longer innocent. And the behavior of the company, his members/best friend and the press continue to confirm it even though it was not necessary because when someone is officially charged by the police, double confirmation is not necessary. In the eyes of a narcissist or flying monkey, no amount of evidence will suffice
I think they mean the lack of details that have been revealed
@@lingfeed Exactly. Taeil is CHARGED by the police, he is officially no longer innocent. And the behavior of the company, his members/best friend, and the press continue to confirm it even though it was not necessary because when someone is officially charged by the police, double confirmation is not necessary. In the eyes of a narcissist or a flying monkey, no amount of evidence will be enough.
@@Mariajbh2 What they mean is that we don't know exactly what happened. They're not saying he's innocent just that we don't really have much information about anything other than the fact he was charged with s3x crimes.
@@Lotte_-le7qi They need details? No details are needed. Only those who try to judge whether it is grave or not according to their criteria and narcissistic interest need them
there's a difference between being delulu about your bias/group thinking they're all innocent little babies, and being shocked to find out someone you cared about turned out to be a predator. the former is unhealthy parasocial idealization, the latter is simply expecting someone not to be a criminal and feeling let down and lied to when you find out they're a really bad person, which is perfectly normal and not fans being delusional or parasocial. it's also unhealthily and unnecessarily pessimistic to assume that any one of the idols we like could be predators off-camera. assume that they're human and make mistakes and do things many humans do like date or drink alcohol, sure! but to assume they could be a criminal, no! poeple shaming and criticizing fans for being hurt to find out their idol was an abuser/predator is so extremely devoid of empathy and basic reasoning skills. anyone who thinks like that has either just always been a kpop anti or used to be a kpop fan but grew bitter. to the former i say fuck you, go find something that makes you happy instead of hating on others who just want to enjoy music, fun performances, and a community of people with the same hobby, and to the latter, i'm sorry someone you trusted hurt you/that you fell out of love with kpop, but that's not any current fans' fault or even the fault of idols just doing their job. i hope you heal and learn to find more joy and positivity in your life.
What he said applies to people in general… stop putting your faves on a pedestal… they make mistakes, poop, cry, do dumb shit like all of us… in my experience the high school classmates that seem quiet and innocent are usually the ones with a secret long time boyfriends and a lot of experience 😂… the son of our church pastor is the first one to get a young woman pregnant out of wedlock… that rocker dude neighbour full of tattoos and piercings is a genuinely nice guy with cats and causes zero trouble… the coworker that is super smart and friends with everyone is also that one that spills and gossips about everybody’s personal lives… that auntie and uncle who are super rich and have seemingly perfect lives - their kids are depressed and addicts… nobody’s perfect. Take your time to get to know someone before letting them in your lives and giving them complete trust… we all learn as we grow… as for idols, just enjoy their their art and if they say or do anything that goes against your beliefs, hold them accountable and call them out on it… if it’s an unforgivable crime, jusr stop listening to their music and listen to something else
We are all human and that does not automatically make you a predator, a narcissist, an imposter, or an abuser. Anyone who makes these kinds of comments is justifying abusers.
True that!
He wasn't saying that. He was saying that some idols who may have a wholesome and friendly image are secretly doing bad things in their private lives
He didnt say that.....
??? I thought he meant, "dont trust us blindly, pls be careful "
@@user-tg9oo3ry4d @Shyreenify @zami2525 Many people say that for justifying idols, you only have to read the comments. You all show to be trolls that diverts the topic for manipulate
Over the years, I've learned a lot about how deeply toxic South Korean men can be. If you're a South Korean man reading this, please know that if you're a good person, I am obviously not including you in that group. To be honest, I've been thinking it's only a matter of time before we find more male kpop idols with disturbing pasts. I really feel for any fans of Taeil that are distraught by this news.
This is why I put a cap on supporting any more groups. I recently fell for seventeen, but oh well. Last last. I swear. No more. Ever. The less I stan, the less creeps I'm unknowingly supporting. Also, my emotions and trust are only invested in one group, so there's not a lot of room for disappointments.
The ideal solution is to like as many groups as u want, listen to a lot of groups, like them for their on screen persona, but at the same time, don't get emotionally invested. U don't HAVE to not support many groups, just don't believe that u know those people, that's enough.
as a carat who's also a practical person, after I learnt about the Taeil situation I just said that all I can hope is that none of the 13 men turns out to be anything like this or a terrible person in general. that's all I can hope for. I will stan them till the end but I am stupid enough to break down and cry my eyes out if any one of them turns out to be a bad person. because at the end of the day we don't know them but can hope for well.
@@sumedhasmagicalseries389you can be emotionally invested in an idol's life and work and still not be stupid enough to think that you actually know how they are behind the doors.
@@SleepIntoTheDiamondLife ik that, i just adapted to the person's comment.
@@SleepIntoTheDiamondLife Being emotionally invested in a celebrity's life in itself is stupidity. Most of these famous people wouldn't want anything to do with you off screen. I know it's a bitter pill to swallow but you're just gonna have to swallow it at some point.
i remember the issue of Irene and her stylist before. and i'm glad, she said sorry and completely reflected to her actions
First I like the music. That's what gets me and my attention. Then, I may move on to the artist and get to know them/him/her and the personality. There are a number of recording artists that I have no idea about the first thing about their lives or them, and I'm talking decades ago. I'm 52. Of course, in the K-pop world, I just hope the artists are good people who don't kick a dog when it is a sleep. (You know what I mean?) It's like Felix said, he's not an angel. (He's probably close, though.😂) No one is perfect, and the best of us have our bad days. Love and peace! 🤟
Thanks for highlighting this. Yeah, idols are humans, too.
don't bring unnecessary hate to BM with your bad wording! he talked about that in 2020 not "AMID" this chaos? if you're quoting him, be respectful to him as well.
I mean shouldn’t we all know this
Ofc celebs often arent as how they present themselves in front of a camera BUT people still dont assume everyone is a woman beater or harrasses them s*xually and so on. I mean you also dont walk outside and assume all humans are bad people. So being shocked when such news get to the surface is normal.
No one is perfect but still people dont really expect the worst.
Since not many new news are out and as far as I know it still isnt 100% confirmed that he is actually guilty...at least the police didnt publish anything further (or at least I didnt see it)... what I have to say is...he is one of the most talented vocalists in kpop...why would anyone just ruin their career like this???
He was never my favourite NCT member but damn his voice was just waaaay toooo good.
Whatever the result of the investigation is , I just hope whoever the victim is and whoever the guilty one is that they receive the justice and punishment they deserve.
You don’t really know these people. I would never be surprised by something like this because I again I don’t actually know them. Also just because someone is quiet doesn’t mean they are a good person. People think those who do bad things are cartoon characters villains who angry and evil… Even people who do bad things can have traits that are positive, they can be friendly to one person and sexually assault another. People aren’t cartoon characters.
This saved me from an unbearable pain. I would have been in pain God knows how long, if not had i listen to him. Now i know the person im grieving for really didn't exist
This is why I always say “they seem nice” or their tv “personality….” or I just avoid talking about their personalities in general Cause they are just acting most if not all the time and y’all forget the they get acting lessons. Lastly I hate how people are always come to this conclusion only when there is drama then afterwards they go back to acting the same way. There’s not thing as “a real idol” people try to force it so hard to their favs can be relatable to them
I feel like that is the case with most celebrities, most of them are trying to project an image that will sell, thry are not always good people or what they appear to be
I can still like the idols and thier music but not idolize/worship them
i have so much respect for him for that. one thing i've always respected about bm is i truly feel he tries to be as real as possible. just as he said he's not perfect, there are things we don't know, but those things are things that don't need to be said either. he has a right to privacy as much as any idol does. one thing i don't exact appreciate is involving taeil in it. yes it's a good thing to remind people of, always, but let's also remember taeil hasn't been proven guilty OR innocent of anything. i think we all need to stand a neutral ground until more is said. to start assuming things and listening to the rumors- we know what has been actually said by the company, taeil and legal authorities, he left, nothing and it was an ACCUSATION by a person of age. i don't want to name names but when everything started going around, seeing even an idol who knows first hand very well how fans can be, making a comment on it, i felt disgusted. not just by that idol either, all the people listening to the rumors, jumping to conclusions, be patient. and please know me saying this, i'm in no way supporting taeil. if he gets proven guilty it's gonna make me nauseous. it's already had me questioning shit about my favorite idols again, making me wish i never got attached to these people and just enjoyed their music. although if he gets proven innocent i'll also be able to honestly say i never attacked him, i never said anything negative regarding him. way too often idols are being falsely accused of stuff and immediately face hate only for their once fans to essentially get laughed at in their faces..
remember everything is rumors and accusations as of now
I lost my trust in celebrities when my fav actor got involved in a controversy.I wanted to not believe it so bad but the accusations against him i feel is likely to be true.Cannot look at him the same way now.
I don't know why anyone trusts celebrities in the first place. It's not like for a person to be famous or talented they have to be a good person. You can be the most talented and in the same time the most vile person ever.What you see is a persona. And also those people have extra power and money and for many people money corrupts and gets them thinking they can do things without consequences.
Not only should fans not be anything more than a fan, and not believe everything you see and hear in content, but you should also NOT be concerned with celebrities dating! Their personal relationships are NOT your concern. If they have partners mind your own business and find your own happiness.
I have family members that have left me in shock with the things I found out after getting older, So Im glad Bm is open to shining a light in the hearts of kpop fans, this goes for everyone, make sure you really know who you let into your heart. This is earth you guys😅
So this does not surprise me at all anymore & I hope anyone who sees this just stays alert.
To be honest it just sounds sad and kind of betrayal of sorts because why the fuck would you act like someone you are not. Its better to say its a work personality that is somewhat similar to your real personality. I mean it would be disheartening to know if a comedian is not doing comedy irl. Idk. It just seems sad to me. I mean if you act like an angel atleast you should be a decent well mannered person in real life.
Its harder to deal with this type of betrayal when idols hide their real personalities and portray themselves as something they are not...for me, it was easier to deal with Seungri's scandal since he never portrayed himself as a goody two shoes but I struggled with TVXQs Yunho since I bought into his image.
One reason why i'm never shocked( though i feel bad when idols especially those i like become embroiled in one because i feel like its a waste of their talent) when i see these so called " scandals"... Not generalizing... but hormonal 20 something idols with money, looks and power?.... a potent mix...
That's why I find it really funny when these fan girls cry fowl and act like they've got their panties all up in a twist when their idols get photographed just puffing a cigarette... all i could think off is " they're probably doing more questionable things, we really don't know"....That's why i don't buy into the companies' strategy to package their idols which results to them being restricted in their actions... Because the more they are restricted and suppressed the more likely they would feel the need to do what they feel or want to do...its like suppressing boiling water... sooner or later that water would eventually overflow and bubble over...
I’m sure he knows many idols who aren’t who they say they are too. Love you BM!
It’s like seungri all over.
To me it was when they news about this whole situation and I was like oh well this ain’t the first or last time that we as K-pop fans have heard stuff like this gin g down and how idols show there true colors because what we see in MV’S and live performances it’s not the real them at all
Infelizmente é o que a indústria induz as pessoas a aceeditar. Sempre mantendo uma imagem mais jovem, mais inocente, fazendo os idols fazerem brincadeiras bobas e comportamentos mais infantilizados. Cobrando sempre uma conduta perfeita. O fato também de quase nunca mostrar a vida pessoal impede de enxergar o lado "humano" a maneira que eles se relacionam com as pessoas. Mantendo sempre aquela imagem imaculada que eles escolheram. Tirando o fato de que a maioria dos fans sao jovens, não da para culpar totalmente as pessoas em acreditar no que elas meticulosamente foi induzida a acreditar, não é como se ela tivesse inventado uma imagem perfeita do nada, eles realmente fazem isso.
Fans really need to accept that they dont know their idols and their idols dont know them these are regular people too dont put your ideal of what they should be like on them especially shippers who put group members as couples
No human is perfect the only idol that would be perfect is the AI group or a group with AI as 1 of their members
I am not surprised. It is an image what they get paid for. I will never believe the ones I like are perfect because I know better.
Both of them are right about it. They are just people and have to be a certain way when performing & in public, while being different in private. People need to remember that and for the most part back off & chill out
and everyone forgets that BM probably is shady too and u can’t rly trust him either, i mean u can’t rly trust someone like him at all💀💀
Right, great message, though, he is applied to it as well. It’ll be ironic if he is involved in these type of scandals.
That's what he said though?
I mean it's not a thing to say or be reminded of all the time because people know how the world works unless you're delusional and think we're in heaven where everything is perfect.. It can happens to anyone so be careful people
Sad thing is an idol shouldn't even need/have to say this for us as fans to know this fact. The entertainment industry as whole whether it be kpop or wherever is very much a manufactured or fabricated world. It is a dark world painted as perfection, glitz and glamour most of the time. Y'all need to limit the parasocial delusions and just acknowledge it for what it is (both the good and bad).
tea tho. you never know how an idol acts when the camera is off. you can appreciate their work without putting them on a pedestal
that's magic for you, you'll ruin the experience once you know the trick.
Y’all will take anything an idol days and run with it 💀
He’s right tho
@@marig3784exactly 💀
@@marig3784 I mean take anything idols say and connect that to something else when they’re not talking about anyone specific
@@KamiiSola bm wasn’t specifically talking about taeil that’s my point kpop fans will connect anything to another idol when it’s not about them
@@brennathecatlover4360 oh that’s what you meant I was finna say
HE TRIED TO TELL YALL
There’s nothing shocking about what was said cause at the end of the day, we dk these people, we only know their public persona, that’s why stan culture is rather weird when it comes to celebrities/idols cause people’s obsession and how they go do overboard for people they don’t know is rather disturbing and concerning, knowing wrong with defending people from wrongdoings and bad treatment no matter who they are but parasocial obsession/idolize makes people take everything overboard with who they stan and it makes me uncomfortable and why I tend to not partake in fandoms
What he said is true this is why we cant be delulu just enjoy the music thats it dont call them your husband bf
Because we dont know who artists really are we just have to support their work
Saying hes my bias and is good looking is ok
But not any kinda relationship with artists
Just stay fan thats it and enjoy what they bring on table also artists are humans not dolls so even ppl be controling them is wrong too yet alone fan service culture is also weird
Not every human being is bad but then who knows who celebrities really are.
Just enjoy music
He spilled
BM saying that is so real and also i think him BM also said back then that their are few groups/idols he knows thats the same with or without the camera one of them is skz
Not surprised!
fans need to stop expecting their idols to be perfect, especially in Kpop where the standart is so out of touch with reality. they are just humans like you and me after all.
After 10 years of listening of kpop I would give one advice "Stanning kpop idols is great but dont feed into the narrative of fantasy".
Every time someone says oh my gosh wtf and then goes on to rant about how this is why we shouldn't put idols/celebs on a pedestal I always always reply stfu 🙄. The thing is we don't actually know these people bruh like your own family member could be a freak or scum so why are people always shocked that celebs who at the end of the day are just people like me or you might not be as squeaky clean as their companies show them to be? Doctors, lawyers, teachers are pedos and creeps, why would anyone else in any other career path be different? At the end of the day it's the person and we can't see into their heart or mind to know who they truly are so we need to stop being humbled by scandals such as this and remember the saying "you can't judge a book by its cover". Some people are just evil, sad but true 🤷🏾♀️.
Why is anybody surprised? Ofc we dont expect people to be literal criminals, thats too much. But idols literally get trained on how to act infront of a camera and in media. Plus, have a group of people around them constantly reminding them not to say or do certain things. And on top of that WE DONT KNOW THESE PEOPLE PERSONALLY. They could have 200+ people vouch for them personally and it still doesnt mean anything. They could still treat you like trash. Take Seugri's dad for example, lying saying his son knew nothing about what was going on. Para social relationships are a blight on society.
Aye!! Big Tiddies gang!
I mean, there's a difference between not being perfect, and being a criminal, just saying. I rather stan an idol that farts very stinkly than a literal criminal.
I think everyone shoul be know about that. Me as a human.. is other people know who i really am.. (i am insecure, moody, but i do not want other people know about it..😬 cos i want other people know me as a good person..) normally people show good sides about themselves..come on.. only God knows ..
I want to marry bm ❤ he's a sweetheart 😢
He also himself said that he is not perfect either. We know him too just by the screen. Let's not normalize proposing to the idols, it's uncomfortable for them too and it's weird for us too❤
I know one thing we Need to let the police handle this. Because, as soon as the news came out, a lot of you were quick to judge him and call him untalented but no evidence or facts have been let out yet. Let's see if he's guilty or not. Because you have a lot of liars out there Who make it bad for the ones who really got terrible things happen to them. Try to speak out. Until the evidence, I'm not judging him at all I go by evidence and facts, not rumors
Honestly I believe he commit some kind of crime but don't how big the crime is. Rumors cannot be easily believed, but the fact he commit crime in almost undeniable as police is involved in this matter.
@@hafizzimohamad5204Not necessarily as he may be suspicious but does it mean he is truly guilty? Not really and they may call him for questioning but they did not charge him and are still investigating. I was watching a crime show about murder and this one guy really looked guilty. I thought it was him for sure but in the end, he was innocent. Not sure if it is the case here but my point is as outsiders, we may never know the full truth. However, with time we may know more.
SM kicked him out immediately..... something was definitely there big or small but he definitely did something
You can call him anything but untalented lol at least singing was good
Based
I agreed with BM..there are so many obsessed asses everywhere and they delulu asf💔🫠 this people act so shock like they knew celebs. Sex crim means a sex crime and we don't need details!! Just listen to their music watch dramas and enjoy it have fun!! And focus on ur daily life.. it's not that hard
Edit : after 4 weeks later i'm updating this cos of idiot under my comments.. go check teail situation now!!!
He proves himself to be a narcissist who blames fans for not suspecting an idol could be a predator or criminal. He is part of the problem, another narcissistic idol and you guys prove yourself in the comments to be flying monkeys. And narcissist or flying monkeys aren't real
@@Mariajbh2 what ?? 🤦♀️😂 bro who give a shit he is narcissist or not i juat said i agreed with him !!! I watch this interw and i got wht he trying to say ...just understand the damn thing man!!!🤦♀️💔😮💨
That's what I do
I'm an adult & have a lot to do in my daily life
@@Takashi-mitzuya So you are another narcissist. You evidence yourself😂. There is nothing to "understand" about a narcissist, it's not a problem of understanding
@@Mariajbh2 alright sir alright😂🙏 u right u know everything!!! U are the god of knowledge.. i'm sorry lord please forgive me for offend u and for being a narcissist😪🙏 amen!!!!
Love your idols, appreciate their work but don't worship them like you don't have anything else to do in your life grow tf up.
Ty bm❤
Btch ive been warning yall on multiple forums since 2009 😭😭😭😭 BM just got here 🤣🤣🤣
I wasn’t surprised when this came out💀 that’s why you don’t idolize or worship people you don’t know…. And kpop idols at the end of the day are people, human being can do some FUCKED UP shit, some may feel remorse other may not. My point is, people aren’t always who you think they are, so don’t be surprise when something crazy comes out about your fav because you NEVER really knew them personally to began with. So why would you be surprised?
I mean what did he say that was wrong alot of these fans don't know who their idols are personally ppl need to stop getting mad cause he spoke the truth yup tell the truth big papi Mateo don't sugar coat
Kpop fans are majority teenagers,young and naive… They put idols on high esteem,but even the most humble and innocent idol can surprise you,I’m not saying they’re all bad,but they’re strangers to us,we only see them on cameras,they’ve been trained on how to do literally everything,including smile,talk,walk etc. Nothing about this idols on camera can be 💯 genuine,it’s their job,they have to act to fans to get money. Yet you see fans speaking about idols as though they know them on a personal scale. Just enjoy their music and the personality they show on camera,you can never know their true self. I’ve never been surprised by anything idols do cos I know they’re humans,capable of all sorts of heinous crimes like anyone out there,they just have better cover for their crimes,as kpop fans would do almost anything to support their faves.
But why are you surprised? Idols are human. They have virtues and flaws. Like all the rest of us mortals. What is wrong is to idealize someone you do not know. We don't know idols. We see what companies want us to see. We don't know the person behind that perfect image. We should admire and praise them but their talents, but not to put them in a status of gods. I heard all the time: oh, this X idols is a good person, He/she wouldn't dare to do something like that, they are perfect and they poop glitter and puke unicorns. That is the problem. They are humans too and as such, we are capable of committing the most atrocious acts. Stop putting artists on a pedestal.
Onestly dont know If I love this comment section or hate it, because kpop stans turned from my idol could never to every idol is suspect so fast.
They are just people , everyone could be a moster, you siblings, parents you never know, but do you suspect every last one of them? Probably not so stop being so dramatic.
Taeil is disgusting, there is no doubth about that,but that doesnt mean every one in the industry is, and for comments about how BM didnt speak about bulling rummors in his group, so what he didnt its hard to deal with it if its your close friends and it was just rummor, you cant asume people are guilty without any evidence.
Onestly there is no group that didnt have this kind of rummors or other scandals in their carrier, and some of them were true but like 90 procents, never are. They are just created by antis, get Woojin for example how people ruined his carier by simly not liking that he leaved skz co created that horrible rumor.
And for the jealous people here, that their bias or idol cant speak this openly, so they are rude to others with opinions, get hang of your selfs, and stop being pain in the ass, get life.
(Also sorry for my english, not first langue)
The only thing that is perfect is God Always.
Believe that
I feel like this is more towards like idols can do drugs or have a dating life not idols can be sex criminals like no one expects that cause I think a lot of people try to think positive and have hope for humanity that people are good people and not horrible people :/
Kard new ult???😱😱
People in general
Actually its true what he said but being a sex offender is not considered being human anymore its just being a Monster
I agree but I think he is making the statement that if you only know the person from behind a screen they are still a stranger. You can like an idols persona but don't get emotionally attached. It's normal to be surprised about it but we just shouldn't believe that they aren't capable of it. He's probably telling fans not to use their tv persona as a way to defend an idol because it's not always their true selves.