Kevin Smith Details His Personal Trauma, Bullying & Improving Mental Health
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 เม.ย. 2023
- One morning in January 2023, 'Clerks' director Kevin Smith awoke in terror, convinced he was losing his mind. The next day, he checked into Arizona's Sierra Tucson Treatment Center, where he spent a month in intensive therapy and learned how childhood sexual abuse and bodyshaming over his weight by his 4th grade teacher led him to create and hide behind a larger-than-life public persona he calls "the other guy."
Now Kevin has stopped smoking weed, cut back on social media, is slowing down his work schedule after churning out movies, comic books, TV shows and podcasts, and learning about the healing power of self-acceptance. Most importantly, he is determined to get the word out to others who could benefit from hearing his story and the tools he's acquired to help find peace.
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My therapist once told me, "Doesn't matter if you're drowning in a bathtub or you're drowning in the middle of the Pacific Ocean - you're still drowning!" That thought comes to mind when Kevin talks about that thinking pattern of "oh, what happened to me is not as bad as sexual abuse survivors, or combat veterans..." and realizing, "no. Trauma is trauma."
Correct. Having someone put their mouth on your genitals is not as bad as having people shoot at you (combat veterans).
easier to get out of the tub tho...
Yes, drowning is drowning, but I reckon the rescue processes can be very different between examples.
I hope that clears up what I meant.
@@Bubba_Grimm Of course that's true, but I think the greater point is recognizing that drowning is drowning/trauma is trauma. Sometimes there are people who are drowning in a bathtub and they think "Well it's just a bathtub. At least I'm not drowning in the ocean" and then they just let themselves keep drowning rather than just getting up out of the tub. I feel like the point isn't to compare types of drowning, but to just recognize the drowning or trauma in and of itself.
@@yeskev your cant compare war trauma to other trauma.
@@brendanlally1851 Yes, you’re correct. Of course you can’t. However that isn’t the point that’s being made here. The point is not to compare or minimize the trauma. The point is to recognize the trauma. If you’re constantly comparing it or minimizing it, you run the risk of not recognizing it for whatever it is and potentially making it worse than it needs to be.
I love Kevin Smith. At one point, he was a champion of nerd things and the people who liked those things. Way before it was popular. Then he told us exactly how his heart attack went. And now he tells us about his trauma, how it affected him, and his healing. In some ways, he's one of the most fearless celebs there has ever been.
I couldn’t agree more
Hard facts. I love his work and I love how he speaks about things without giving a fuck what the rest of the world has to say.
he'll still be talking about it ten years from now.
if he was fearless he wouldn't be able to demonstrate courage, which he has in spades
@@christofthedead That's actually a good point and honestly I had to read that multiple times to get what you meant, but I understand now. If you're fearless, you don't fear anything. If you're courageous, you take action in the face of fear, therefore, you need fear in order to be courageous. (sorry. just working it out in my head and decided to type it too)
I've always used those words interchangeable but you've made me realize they are actually quite different.
This whole 'downplaying trauma' is so true. A dude in high school wouldn't leave my breasts alone even after I explicitly told him to stop, when I told the principal they just said 'oh well'. That taught me it 'wasn't that bad'. It's taken a lot of people speaking out about their experiences to realise that WAS sexual assault and I'm not stupid for trying to report it.
I'm sorry that happened to you!
That’s so scary to go through that! I’m sorry that happened
I'm sorry that happened to you.
Thank you for NOT being silent....Bob
The amount of times Kevin Smith has made me feel like I am not alone. This man is a treasure.
His Joe Rogan visit speaking about his dad's passing was heavy.
He really is. The way he talks like he’s just speaking to an old friend or something is very comforting.
Parasocial relatioships are not healthy.
A phenomenal speaker. You remind me of my daughter's dad, who very much resembles Robert Downey, Jr. So, that other guy in treatment was not just " blowin' smoke." Peace 🕉
@@SamaelMoneyStein Relax buddy.
This man has done nothing but wear his heart on his sleeve for years and yet, he still somehow finds a way to let us in deeper. I have nothing but respect for Mr. Smith.
Well said.
Amazing he keeps wearing it out there after someone tried to attack it about five years ago!
@@TOPA808 Uhh, I didn´t know that. Can easily be the moment where you close yourself up. People who work in certain fields are more easily targeted. Although only some of them have bodyguards. XD
Fake LOVES Fake. LOL!
This is incredibly brave and selfless. I've never had more respect for Kevin. His transformation, disclosure, and healing process will help untold numbers of trauma survivors.
As a therapist, i often say that everyone has a suitcase they carry around. Trauma goes in there..... you shut it away and drag it around your whole life. You have to unpack or it gets so heavy you can't move forward. It's never too late to get up and move forward. Change scary but it's not as scary as being stuck there forever. I'm so happy he is finally finding himself and how beautiful it is that he's able to share this and help so many people.
We're all in this together.
I've heard that same thing in the AA rooms. It has been a huge change in my life learning how to deal with things as the arise instead of thinking I'm making it go away with alcohol but I spent enough years taking what I thought was the easy way out but it turns out that the easier softer way doesn't always feel easy or soft. Living sober is not about feeling happy it's about feeling.
Bet you get paid a lot of money. And I bet you love it. That’s absolutely disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself.
I love all of you.
I'm a disabled veteran with PTSD from sexual assault.
Thank you for sharing this. I hope others find the courage to address their trauma in a healthy way.
Got u, usaf 22 years i was fucked up by the time i was 8.
I love you too 🙂Sorry to hear of your struggles.
Pray for all peace to help you, JEH God bless you..
Love you, Debbie! :3
Do we all feel for the trauma we’ve caused each other or is this a me thing.
This isn’t our goodbye to Kevin Smith. It’s our hello to the real him for the first time. Glad to meet you Kevin. You seem like a cool person.
He’s the definition of cool.
@@neogeo4528 chill out my guy
@@neogeo4528 There's a desert out there waiting for you to figure out why you're so angry.
He seems like the kind of knob that the younger, better version of him would have made fun of. And the younger version would have been right.
@@BossKernel And there's another grifter therapist out there waiting to con you out of more of your money by pretending you have mental health issues. Weird how all these "mental health issues" are also extremely profitable for drug companies and goofy therapists.
I shamefully retold my story of being sexually assaulted in the Navy to a friend who had also been sexually assaulted in the Navy years prior. Though in my opinion his situation is far worse than mine even he told me "trauma is trauma". My wife who was sexually assaulted told me the same thing. It's not a badge to wear to get brownie points in life. It's facing a fucked up truth in order to get past the hardest things so the good can flourish and be there for me when I need it to be. When you admit whow real your trauma is remember how real the good can be and has been for you. In the end that matters so much more than the trauma.
Every time anyone in the public eye comes forward and talks about mental health and recovering from trauma, my feelings come out my eyeballs. SO SO many people needed to hear this, and some of them were able to hear it more clearly this time just because it came from you. Thank you
"I don't hate you.
I care about you.
I just don't need your validation anymore.
And that's good--'cause now we can just be friends."
Anyone else hear that and realize how much seeking external validation has stifled their genuine relationships with others?
This is a public service announcement I didn’t know I needed. This has made me realize that some of the events in my life that have happened aren’t just “stuff that happens”. Those events are actually trauma. Kudos to Mr. Smith for sharing his discoveries so we can discover ourselves.
Thank you for putting into words what I was about to type.
Don't know if that will help people by saying, "you had it worse than you think, you are messed up and need help to get normal again.". How do we make sure that this undertone doesn't pop up in people's head or possibly causing a fixation on an event that they never would have focused on, even subconsciously?
@@DirtyLifeLove That’s not the problem for most. It’s better for people with trauma to actually get help, your attitude is more likely to perpetuate the shame that prevents many others from seeking help.
Same here. I accidentally clicked on this but I’m so glad I did. I have always felt like my trauma was petty compared to others. But it’s true that the CNS reacts to stress the same way whether you’re a kid being bullied or veteran with PTSD. Thanks Kevin!
Agreed! This was unbelievably brave of Kevin and it opened my eyes.
As someone who has been hospitalized for mental health reasons, I find some comfort in the fact that a guy like this can be strong enough to admit he had a problem and sought help. Good for u man. Seriously
It must be nice to have the privilege to go to a facility, and deal with trauma. The rest of us don't have time or the money, or the ability to take the money loss from not working. Recognize your privilege
@@g0stn0te what a horrible response.
@@g0stn0te What is your point here? And what exactly do you mean by "Recognize your privilege"? What is the definition, meaning, cause and purpose of this message?
@@bonsai_chaosThe purpose is hostility about their own situation (they are definitely talking about themselves), insecurity, and resentment that some people can do what the cannot.
It is a horrible, aggressive response and it is rude and uncalled for.
@@g0stn0teMaybe you could do something useful with your time instead if shitting on people.
Like working on making your country create laws that make mental health facilities free to go to, along with all other medical care.
The way we have had it in Europe for the better part of a century, but you, 'the greatest nation on Earth' still cant manage such an easy task.
So instead of being a salty bitch to strangers online, do something about what you think is wrong.
Kevin will never read this comment, but I really want to hug him now.
THANK YOU... your journey is a true inspiration.
This feels like a much clearer, authentic Kevin Smith. He isn’t scattered like I’ve heard him before. Want to see what direction this takes him, and glad he’s still with us.
The tradeoff of wisdom is self-exposure and the sense that the world is falling apart - hence denial & self-medication. Kevin’s doing a fine job of it and it’s to all our benefit to see him survive it and share it.
Ya, Now That He KNOWS He's a Soulless Whore and Has FULLY Adopted The Mind Of a Woman, He Can FAIL At Life. LOL!
It's nothing more than another marketing scheme. He now wants to appear relatable, while for the past 15yrs He's been nothing but a complete asshat and people resented him for it.
All he wants to do is stay relevant. That's all he cares about, and He's admitted to that fact.
There's parts in there where I just want to hug Kevin. You can just tell he's on the cusp of breaking down emotionally and that the weight of his traumas still haunt him. You aren't alone Kevin. Love ya man.
Ok. Calm Down Gay Boy. LOL!
That is called compassion, and it is beautiful. And I hope you have it for yourself too.
If you ever get a chance to meet him, you should. He gives the best hugs.
He doesn't have traumas. He's just old, spoiled, and over-emotional.
@@blacktionjackson7133 Its not a competition my friend. His trauma does not threaten your own. We can all be damaged.
Loneliness is painful and can lead to mental and physical health conditions.
Research has shown that psilocybin could be beneficial as a treatment for psychiatric and behavioral conditions
@Sofia Lopez Plz how do I get in touch with him?
@@jefferyscott8148look a cop
I have been a Kevin Smith fan since the beginning. From film to comic books. He is a genuine human being. He's always been a stark contrast to the typical celebrity persona. I don't know, it's hard to put into words. His words are always very comforting. I think I could listen to him talk about the evolution of dryer lint, and be happy.
But that's his whole point. He wasn't "genuine" and was just playing a character. I'm the total opposite, I never was a big fan of his. Probably because to me anyways, he came across as fake. This kinda changes my mind on him. Although I dont agree with everything he's saying here, and sounds like he's giving these therapists way to much to the book , but total respect for talking about this.
In his own words, he wasn't genuine. He typically doesn't give himself enough credit. He's a good dude.
Guy is a d-bag, if he was lying the whole time, why believe him now?
SAME HERE!!!!
I have no words to express the respect and admiration I have for this man. I have minimized my trauma for 38 years, for the most part, and the reminder that our brain doesn't know the difference, in some ways, between a teacher mocking us or being robbed makes it a bit easier to breathe. Thanks so much Kevin. Hope you find your joy and what you truly like and want to do.
Agreed. Being a father myself, I always loved and appreciated his role model qualities and his intent to inspire youth
So much respect for this. Agreed.
Guy is a joke!
When you said, "I'm gonna become a director so that nobody can tell me what to do again" I started crying. Thank you for all of this
No one can tell him what to do!
Except the producers, studios, and investors
@@RickyWatter32 lmfao. Yep he still does what the MPAA tells him to do also.
@@captinundies6049 lolololol! I forgot bout MPAA!
HAHAHAHA! What a Loser. LOL!
"I can solve your problems, but I can't solve mine"....never knewi had so much in common with Kevin Smith. You opening up to these thoughts and feelings helps provide safety to others who've experienced trauma.
As an EMDR therapist who is also on a life-long journey of trauma recovery, I am so thankful you shared your story and are using your position to spread the word. I will be sharing this with patients and heeding the reminder to remain present and grounded myself. Love you, brother.
And as a man just dealing with a long childhood through adolescence in an abusive home, I really appreciate this kind of open conversation.
A lot of this connected deeply with me, and I feel like Smith has shown in a very real way that you can change who you are, in many ways. Sadly I have a sibling who couldn't find a way forward and completely lost connection with reality as a result of this childhood pain, and they are lost to me and the world. Everyone out there needs to take this stuff DEAD seriously. My brother was an accomplished and educated professional who eventually just let the "other person" take over their world. Nobody is invulnerable to the brain's desperate methods of survival.
EMDR therapy is amazing - it helped me grapple with some trauma from my past. Thank you for your good work.
88th
EMDR saved my life
@@rmcdonald17 , I just started EMDR. Then a tow truck ran into my SUV. This, the fresh trauma, may help me. Combined with the EMDR, learning about who I am is my lifetime project. I hope I get to the point where I remember what happened, why there was all that blood and pain. I need to 5-4-3-2-1 and get this.
I just had a full on crying meltdown on the floor, in the corner of my kitchen. At 27 minutes in I had to pause the video, take off my washing up gloves and let it out. Hell of a Monday morning. My trauma is different, but the effects have been very similar. People pleasing, co-dependence, seeking external validation, lack of self-worth and self-knowledge. Thank you Kevin for talking about this so well. You've always been a great story teller.
That would be due to your lack of testosterone and infantilisation.
Same
Seriois question?
Are you gay?
x2
🤗🤗💝💝As someone who had a small pic of Amy next to her mirror for years and always wondered what the silent one wanted to tell us, my reaction 2 days ago was very similar. Coming back now to see how others react to it.
I guess to some degree that is what makes a good director to put parts of his soul into his work in a way others will feel it, too. But that this happened without his own knowledge is impressive.
Licensed psychologist with almost 40 years of experience and I think Kevin made a fantastic, down to earth presentation, that I've already started encouraging my clients to watch.
Thank you for your work.
I just emailed it to my wonderful therapist hoping it may help others. It was very validating for me. I love therapy. Thank you for your work!
I don't buy that trauma is trauma. He does not have the equivalent PST level of someone who witnessed the horrors of war.
Sure, he like all of us has suffered humiliation and life-lasting emotional scars, and that is damaging enough.
So basically you're a grifter who makes money off of pathologizing normal behavior. "Oh hey... yeah... you're totally sick... good thing is that you can pay me on a regular basis to make you well."
@@CP-pt1ot It's not a competition. Stop comparing trauma. Maybe we shouldn't be sending our children to die in completely useless wars?
Thought I was gunna laugh my way through the last 30 min of my shift. Turns out it was crying. Thanks bud, I needed this more than jokes.
"I don't need your validation anymore" tears finally running down.
As some nobody also in the creative industry, this is the most relatable & authentic sharing of how childhood trauma has shaped my life. I am in the middle of of realising "that was not me" and I have never had a dream or anything I like, coz I felt like I was not entitled to it. All I did in the past years were chasing external validation trying to fill the void like a kid trying to fill the ocean with a tiny bucket of sand, until I was burnout completely.
But I think I have gone through the lowest point of & started looking for who I really am & what I really want, as I am lucky enough to watch this video. Thank you Kevin.
This goes beyond bravery. This is lifesaving. Props to Kevin for this.
It really is life saving
In all my years of therapy i have never had anyone explain trauma and the way the brain deals with negativity as concise as kev does here. I'm truly impressed. And couldnt be happier for kevin.
Thank you, Kevin Smith. I have A LOT of trauma and have spent my 41 years minimizing it in my head and trying to make myself move forward and listening to you, I realize I need to HEAL. I have talked about it before, but that did not help me to heal, I still carry all the shame, guilt, embarrassment, and blame and I need help with it. I have had a breakdown, I don't want to again. You, Kevin, are brave and worthy, always.
Thank you, again. ❤
I've not heard of Kevin Smith before, but I have a tonne of respect for him being this courageous. Thank you for the message 🙏🏾
Bollox
I love Kevin Smith!!
@ImDrunk99 * He is SUPER down to Earth all around cool guy!*
lmfao.
I didn’t expect to cry listening to this. I’ve done the same things. A rape that wasn’t a rape, it was a misunderstanding that went too far. A latter trauma that sent me to the psych ward that I refused to acknowledge. Told the doctors I was there because my cat died… it wasn’t that. Fortunately they got through to the truth and I could begin to heal. Sending my love to everyone out there who’ve been haunted by something that wasn’t their fault
Endless respect for this level of transparency. I think this has the potential to help an exceptional amount of people.
Kevin, I'm 52,from Jersey, I'm William ..and just cried with profound identification, I'm in a very serious situation that needs me to have the strength to change.... I need help ..thank you for this talk... I'ma try to make your MTG... I mean it... One day I'm gonna shake your hand for this...thank you,Kevin.
So happy we got to meet the "real" Kevin. Thanks for your honesty! What you're doing here can, and will, help a lot of people. Sending love and gratitude! ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
Sometimes you can't even understand how you're feeling until you hear someone else say it and everything just clicks. Thank you Kevin, this speech just changed things for me.
This 100000%
Yup
Says a Moron. LOL!
He learned all of this in just the last few months and is so mentally stable now that he can put out a video about himself talking about his biggest insecurities with only a few voice cracks of emotion, for a-million-and-counting people to see. This shows just how important it is to help yourself. If you never talk about things that bother you, you are so susceptible to being a slave to your negative thoughts. It's impossible for you to fix something if you don't even know it's broken. Every single one of us is worthy
"It's impossible for you to fix something if you don't even know it's broken." This.
I love you.
I don't believe it was all in the past few months. It was probably a slow evolution over years, but the awareness and psychological support speeded things up dramatically and gave him the space to properly process things. It's likely he's still going to have to maintain and continue to heal for years to come, but triggers will get less and less severe with time, until they completely ease. Well done to him though. Just hope people realise counselling and therapy can change your life, but the real work often takes years, depending on the severity and amount of your traumas.
Kevin Smith doing more in a free online video than my psychologists that I've spent literally thousands on
Brilliantly said! Myself, daughter, and husband suffer from anxiety and depression. Thank you for your words, Kevin. They will definitely help others struggling.
Holy hell did I need to hear this. Same thing here: childhood trauma, hide behind the "clown" mask, needing other people's validation, never finding it for myself. It's so important for people to share their stories to let everyone know they're NOT broken, they're NOT alone, other people have been through what you have and have healed. Peace and Love to everyone.
This just changed my life. As a 39 year old man that has been battling my whole life with EVERYTHING he just spoke about.... and to hear about it honestly from someone that I have a lot of respect for.... especially where I've been at mentally for the last 96 hrs... thank you Kevin. And thank you People for letting him do this. I think I can make it now
So get up and move. Start with a simple walk, then jog then running. Lift weights. Choose your hard. Work hard or die hard (dying slowly and horribly from being fat😑).
Hope you’re having a good day Eric 😊
I know you can make it. And I’m gonna make it, too.
@Kyley Rumohr but it's a start, a scientifically proven start to help with all those underlying issues. I wrote that comment as a trauma survivor, not from a place of hate or shaming.
You may feel like your comment was more heartfelt, but that's because you're soft and more than likely haven't had to actually fight out of a deep hole. Your sadness isn't the same as other's and your advice of "ignoring lifting weights" and "infantile fat shaming" is actually worse for OP.
Shame on you for trying to spread your weakness.
@Kyley Rumohr yet I'm not a psychologist, and this isn't therapy, it's the TH-cam comment section. I'm not asking all that as this person should get that from a professional if they deem it necessary.
I never said what I wrote "worked for me", in fact what I did for myself was much more difficult than just walking and then lifting weights. I gave basic advice so OP can try something easy and absolutely efficient. Nice try though.
Yes I did assume because you come off as soft, not compassionate, to me. Don't care much anymore if you are or not tbh though.
I have been in therapy and was as a kid, teenager, and married adult. I never indicated anyone could "tough themselves out of everything" I told OP to start by walking and then progressing to lifting weights and jogging. If that's too much... you're soft.
I never indicated I am "hard" I told OP to "choose your hard" as a therapist, with compassion, once told me.
You did nothing close to "humbling" me at all. You are a weak person, giving weak advice and masking it as "compassion."
Write me another page or 2, but it changes nothing. I wasn't rude at all to OP and your white knight parade is over, dude.
Work hard or die hard. You choose.
The world is a better place with Kevin Smith.
“The most dangerous addiction is thinking, because we can’t stop it”. THANK YOU for that Kevin ! Thinking has got to be the hardest part of our lives sometimes.
Never expected to hear such an honest a vulnerable account from Kevin. This is amazing! The world needs more of this in so many ways!
I want to thank him, but I have to fix what ever is going on with me. Still love what he shared.
@@JamJells th-cam.com/video/2qtGpQnT-Hw/w-d-xo.html
I didn't know about these things in his life, but I would absolutely have expected this sort of open, vulnerable conversation from him. Smith has never shied away from telling his stories as he sees them. He acknowledges that they're HIS perspectives and may be viewed differently, but he has, in the last decade or so (doing pods), become a voice for himself.
@@Bad_Wolf_Media As Kevin heals up and shares only to help others understand I find your comment very kind. To share without asking for anything in return was given with heart and aplomb and I hope many find this video as a path to journey out of the darkness of living in a complex and sometimes horrible condition.
This hurt on so many levels. Everything Kevin spoke about his thoughts, his feelings, how he views himself, his experiences, it's me. I've been crying since he spoke of his experience at six. I see you Kevin, I see YOU and you are beautiful.
He reminds me so much of my youngest son, his self that he has found.
I met you briefly in Atlanta when you gave a group of college newspapers a sneak preview of dogma. I asked you a question and you answered. Don’t remember either anymore but it made me root for you always. You’ve always had a naked honesty with your fans. Thank you. That’s all man. Thank you for being you. Go silent and do what you need to do. We love you and we’ll be here if you want us. Thank you Kevin.
1. Trauma is Trauma. Period.
2. Kindness Starts with Me.
Choose to Be Kind (aka 'choose to be the change you wish to see in the world').
3. If compassion doesn't include yourself, it's incomplete.
Thank you so much for choosing to be vulnerable, and for not only recognizing the importance of this message on a personal level, but then taking the time to. share this with the world.
Many prayers and upmost respect to you (and the undertaking of what you've started). May you continue to find compassion and be blessed on your journey.
There are levels, some things are worse than others
It's amazing how vividly the brain details out the memories of trauma, but how non-specific it is about things we'd PREFER to remember.
Yeah not even balanced, like it's so rigged against us, like a life can be destroyed in a moment, but nothing so good can happen that will guarantee a life of bliss afterwards! It's a bit one sided!
The things i prefer to remember cause me trauma.
Finding yourself is one of the hardest paths a person can take.
Kevin don't ever minimize the impact that you have on the essence of humanity. Sharing your truth with dignity, compassion, intellect and love. One can only do this if there is true love for others in their heart.
Thank you for this, Kevin. I can't stop thinking about what you said, especially "Trauma is Trauma." I programmed myself to minimize any trauma because I could always think of someone else who has it worse.
There's nothing wrong with feeling empathy but don't forget to put yourself first. Your mental health is just as important. You are equally valid.
Yes I do the exact same thing, so wonderful to hear him address this, he is my hero ❤.
I have been a Kevin Smith fan since Mallrats came out. Hearing him talk so openly is exactly what I needed today. Thanks for sharing with me. I needed this, and I need Kevin Smith in my life. I'm so grateful that he's finding healing. He deserves to love the Other Guy.
"You're worthy. You're good. There's nothing wrong with you." hits deep
I like coming back to this every now and then when I need it
Dude. My favourite thing you've ever done. From one 52-year-old formerly institutionalized 'crazy' comic book fan to another, I'm proud of you. Thank you for this.
This is honestly a really, REALLY good explanation of trauma and its effects on a person. Covers self esteem, mindfulness, parts work, codependency, it's amazing how thorough it is while also still being relatively brief and digestible. Experiential, thought provoking, and relatable, while still being informed and scientific. Seriously... Bravo, Kevin Smith.
❤exactly
Smith has always been an excellent public speaker, on top of the rest of his talents. I'm so glad he made this video on this topic.
jerZ is no joke, smartest folks in union!
if I do say so myself....:-)
💯💯💯 Such an amazing job, and something so needed. thank you, Kevin.
His balanced & coherent presentation is a reflection of the incredible work that is done at Sierra Tucson ✨
This is the most important conversations/speeches I have ever heard
As someone else who's been through a lot of similar stuff, thank you for talking about this openly. You're an awesome person and I appreciate your work and your existence so much.
Rapes, mental and physical abuse by my Mom, bullying, manipulation, physical abuse by partners, childhood molestation…it’s incredible I’m alive. Thank you for talking about this.
Man, this video absolutely floored me. I’ve been a fan of Kevin’s for almost 30 years and practically feel like I know him after watching his movies and listening to endless interviews and podcasts with him.
I was bawling my eyes out…he gave me a LOT of things to think about in my own life that I need to address. I can’t thank him enough for being brave enough to record this…his words here could save someone’s life.
A Loser Moron Outs Themselves. LOL!
Kevin will never know how many lives he’s saved with this but I’m sure it’s a very high number climbing every day. I’m so glad it was helpful for you too. I absolutely loved all he shared. I’m a huge fan of therapy and meditation but will google EMDR near me.
It's an honor to meet the real Kevin Smith. Thank you so much for making this!
Dude, I really needed to hear this. I’m doing the same thing, and exhausted. Running dry. Your words are very helpful, and know what you were needing and getting your perspective. Super appreciate you.
38 year old man sitting on a train literally crying. Having been dealing with my own childhood trauma and minimising it for years nearly cost me everything. Every day is still a struggle, but I’m slowly moving forward
I'm glad that you are moving forward for some people they just don't are can't find a way to deal with there trauma
Thank you, brother. You’ll never know how many-particularly men-you’ve helped through sharing your experiences openly and honestly.
Dude that took balls, & I know, because I experienced similar issues & dealt with them my own way. I theory has always been, doesn't matter how you heal, it matters that you do. On a side note, if I was ever able to meet Kevin, we would be great friends! Well, after he gives me $20 bucks for watching Tusk! That was a joke, you are my favorite director & a hell of a human. Stay strong!
Never has silent Bob said something I and everyone needed to hear.
Keep on, true believer!
Firstly, a tremendous amount of respect is due to PEOPLE for publishing something like this.
Thank you so much Kevin. Incredible message. Your vulnerability is admirable and will likely save lives. You are an inspiration in so many ways.
Hear hear!
EMDR therapy saved me. What an absolute gem of a man. Thank you for being so authentic. Its nice to not feel so alone.
I've just started my sessions and I hope it goes as well as people say
Many people needed to hear this.
This hit home! Up until recently, I’m 42, I was afraid/embarrassed to get help because I wasn’t in war, I didn’t get molested, grew up in a good place etc., and also I thought most traumas were basically my own fault. Lots of shame, guilt, fear. Feelings of weakness, inadequacy, and insecurity. Regular, every day life feels like a struggle. Lots of resistance.
Parents are the number one imparters of trauma to their children. School is a damn close second. I can still remember things from 30 years ago as if they'd been said to me right now. I hate it. I don't want to carry it anymore. This was wonderful to hear. Thank you for this.
Completely agree
In the western world where life is insanely easy. Imagine growing up in the Middle East or parts of Africa or China where you can be murdered, jailed, persecuted at the drop of a hat. Imagine how much those people would wish for the upbringing and schooling you had. Weak spoiled westerners humans who don’t even have the slightest clue how lucky they are.
Somehow I feel the need to pay you homage 😆.
I'm just the regular Aqua, your highness ❤️
@@aqua6613 You're no regular anything! You're beautiful and awesome!
True. I still hear stuff my dad said to me when I was 8 every single day. And I'm 33 now.
I've never seen someone grow so much as a person as Kevin, I'm so glad he has found peace of mind and healing.
I can't thank you enough, Kevin, for your candor and honesty in sharing this. I am going through something similar, and I really, REALLY needed to hear this! Mad respect for you, man! Sending all the love. ♥
My sister called me crying because her bf cheated on her and at one point she said, “I feel bad for being so upset because there are people who are going through worse things right now.” and I told her,
“There is no scale on pain. Yeah, someone might be going through worse pain than you, their friend might have died, but should they not be upset because someone else’s mom might have died? Your pain is valid.”
My sister said that although she was still sad, that realization made her feel better for her grief in that she could properly grieve without feeling bad about it. And Kevin made an excellent point I had never thought of, that pain doesn’t compare itself.
The worst pain someone has ever felt is the worst pain they will ever know. Mental or Physical. You cannot measure your pain against someone else's since you will only ever feel your pain. Learning to validate that sentiment for yourself is huge act of self acceptance.
I was bullied a lot as a kid. I really needed to hear this. Thank you so much. Love you, man.
David, from a 52 year old father of 3 boys. I just want to let you know, that the fact that you can talk about your issues, and face them head on, will make you a much a better quality human being. I to was bullied as I believe a lot of kids are. I make a point with my kids to keep a open line of communication, and let them know(even though I’m sure it doesn’t seem like it helps) that they are not alone in their struggles. That the majority of people go through their own battles. When u realize this, you start to realize that bully was doing it because he most likely was covering up one of his own insecurities. Be strong, and know that your loved
@@toddheywood8837 Thanks for the kind post, Todd.
@@davidpalmer9014 no problem David, I don’t know how old u are now, but if your still a teen, just know that those bullies, will not be apart of your life much longer. And that they are not worth your time. Wish you all the future success
I met him he was staying at the same hotel I was and he was the absolute nicest person in the whole entire world
My husband and I just watched this, and we both cringed at times because we both have trauma that we related to in this video. He said so many eye-opening and wise things! Especially: the hardest thing you can do is your joy. I just want to give him a hug and thank him for this video.
Me too. Especially since hes given me so much joy. Silent Bob is my favorite guy! Just a cinnamon roll baby looking for love.
The hardest thing you can do is your joy huh. . .wise AF right there.
I grew up through some intense abuse, physical, sexual, and emotional, and I am very familiar with trauma and how it effects a person. Coming onto the idea of "trauma is trauma" in my 20s is easily one of the most important revelations I ever had. It has helped inform how I relate to other people, not just people who are admitted trauma survivors, but everyone. I've often used the phrase "the worst thing that has happened to you is still the worst thing that has ever happened to you" when trying to explain to people that minimizing their own trauma.
This is an incredibly important message that literally every single person can benefit from and I am extremely grateful for Kevin Smith being willing to open himself up in this way to share the revelation he's found in such detailed context. Endless respect. ;
This is the most honest, thoughtful, and moving story of a real life journey that I've ever heard on a 30 minute video clip. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing. We're all Going through this together even if it doesn't seem like it, and if we can realize that as a community, it can be quite beautiful because then you'll truly get to see how many people out there actually care.
So proud of Kevin for sharing this with us. Always been a fan, and it’s lovely to see him taking the best care of himself he can and wanting to see others do the same. ❤
Listening to another man talking about overcoming trauma and addiction is very helpful in this moment of my life. Thank you, sir. You are very much appreciated.
You're far less alone than you might think, brother. There's an abundance of expert help available, if you ask for it.
Look after yourself. I'm in the same state myself. You have my best wishes.
I was bullied all day everyday at school K-8. Every instance was a trauma. This was on top of a bunch of familial and medical trauma. I know this from a lot of therapy, but most people don’t understand that when I explain it. EMDR and day programs near me have helped tremendously. I’ve also always been interested in Sierra Tucson, so I’m happy to see this endorsement!
You’re saving lives - this video will help a lot of people make connections from their past and get help. It’ll also help people have compassion for those with large amounts of traumas that sound small.
Thank you, Kevin Smith.
Right? At around the 10 minute mark I was like THAT"s trauma? I have a shit ton of trauma and that's why i'm so fucked up. Yet during the first session i had with my therapist a few weeks ago he asked If I had any trauma, and i was like... I don't what drama is, how bad is it? and i got a wish washy answer so i said I guess not.
Is a trauma therapist something specific? I guess i need to find another therapist to work with in addition to this one...
There are different types of therapists with different backgrounds. The therapist I’m working with does specialize in trauma, it’s listed under her bio. Def look for a therapist who specializes or has a background in trauma.
Thanks Kev, you have no idea how much I and many others needed to hear this.
This was one of the most powerful testimonies I've witnessed. It's comforting to see someone with similar issues be so vocal about it. Giving words to these feelings is a powerful tool in itself.
One thing Kevin has in common with The Other Guy is that he's a phenomenal storyteller.
I’m crying man. I am 4 months off cannabis myself. Over Christmas I had a mental health crisis. I don’t blame the weed but I found that I couldn’t address what I needed to while high so I quit cold turkey. I’m currently doing well but I’ve come to a lot of realisations about myself and how I’ve lost my sense of self by minimising and my past traumas I minimised etc. and to hear you say this, a man I’ve looked up to my whole adult life, it just makes me love you even more. Thankyou Kev. ❤️
Well done, quitting cold turkey must have been hard. And all by yourself. What you needed to address must have been very important to you. How did you do it? How bad was it, and when did it get better? I know it's in my future, but... Maybe at Sierra Tucson.
Weed, tobacco, alcohol, psychedelics: it's all just an escape. It doesn't solve the problem, just hides it.
This was such a beautiful, honest and generous act of LOVE that Kevin Smith has done by giving this message. I am beyond grateful. I feel like i understand myself so much better from his talk here. And I am inspired. So much gratitude.
Good for you, Kevin. I don't know you, and i doubt you'll ever see this, but I'm thrilled for you anyway. Much love, my brother. ❤
"Trauma is trauma" is what resonates with me. I always try to downplay my trauma because other people have it worse. This let me know it is okay to allow myself to acknowledge my trauma for what it is.
WOW! Stupid, Useless Shit "Resonates" With a Woman. What Is This, An Average Day? LOL!
As a person who has struggled my whole life with my weight , I always minimized the bullying and verbal abuse I constantly suffered both at home and from my peers at school . I think I’ll see it differently now.
This hits me where I live - thanks for doing this, Kevin.
Kevin, thank you so much. I am over the moon for you. May you find as much happiness as possible, and hold on to it forever. You deserve every piece. A lot of people could learn from your wonderfully candid example.
I have worked in mental health support for more than twenty years and I teach Mental Health First Aid classes. BRAVO, MR. SMITH! You concisely and acccurately explained some complex psychological research and phenomena related to childhood trauma and adult behaviour. I am going to share this video far and wide - people need this info and to remember they are not alone. 💙 Thank you, Kevin Smith! (I love Jay & Silent Bob)
Oh, but we are alone. Even if we're in a stadium with fifty thousand other people, we're still alone.
So basically you're financially incentivized to lie to to people and pretend that they're not just spoiled whiners.
@@blacktionjackson7133 I'm amazed how YOUR experience and wisdom is the objective truth, and the centuries of study of the human mind were all a complete waste. Instead of whining in these youtube comments, please share your peer-reviewed research instead.
That's a great idea.
Kevin- as a huge fan and also a mental health counselor specializing in trauma- I am cheering for you so loudly in my apartment. Congratulations for speaking your truth. (The moment you said “amygdala” I cried). Thank you thank you thank you thank you. 💚
I'll be honest; I grinned like a kid at Christmas when he mentioned the amygdala. It's probably the first time in recorded history that any part of the limbic system has been popular!
@@KyleEdwardsPhoto LEGIT!!!!
He explained it so beautifully--there are no trauma Olympics, there's just trauma. I need to stop forgetting that simple but powerful fact.
@@mismamari. it’s so true. We all need to be kind to ourselves as we acknowledge the deep pain we have all suffered. 💚
Wow, Kevin thank you so much for speaking on what happened to you and its after-effects. I’ve listened to you on movies / films, and I’ve listened to you and Jason talk about some other serious stuff, but this talk: this one here in particular, it’s poignant and it’s helpful. 🙏
Part of my new routine this week, (due to mental illness) I will be trying to watch this video several times a week. It's honestly so helpful that he put this out, and helped so many people.
Thank you so much for making this video Kevin smith! Your words helped me a lot and can relate to topics that you went over and also learned more about trauma and that trauma is all equal and one isn’t more terrible then another. Keep up the good work Kevin and keep moving forward and also getting more in touched with your original self, much love and continue the great progress your doing for yourself
Actually taking a mental health day from working in the hospital today and saw this in my recommended. I didn't realize I needed to hear this, but it's made me realize I'm a people pleaser in my own life and I've always felt guilty when putting myself first. Thank you for all you've said Kevin, means a lot to all of us and I hope life just keeps getting better for you and everyone else scrolling through the comments right now.
Enjoy your day off Graham. Go get a massage 💆♀️
Bless you and thank you 🙏 for the kindness you hoped for others!! I am struggling so it meant very much!!
Kevin, I was a grip on goldbergs when you directed a episode. I’m transitioning to a mental health field, graduating this month as an MFT. Thank you for bringing this to the forefront. Destigmatizing trauma therapy is so essential, especially for nerd/film culture. You just became way more real in my book. I’m a total fan, now. Right on my dude.
I’m SO proud of you! We desperately need people like you in the field of mental healthcare. It is emotionally taxing, at times unbearably difficult, and sometimes it changes how you connect with others. But it’s also the most emotionally, psychologically, mentally, and physically rewarding path to choose. You’ll be helping people navigate the hardest thing they’ve ever experienced…and their successes become your successes. You’ll be saving lives, then giving those people a second chance at life. And they’ll reward you by living it.
Good luck on your journey….you’re headed in the right direction! Welcome to the family ❤
That is really cool, Eric!! All the best on your journey.