The filth and lack of hygiene isn't laziness, it's a serious psychological issue. His hygiene tells you how he feels about himself, and about others. Defiling your curtains isn't just a bad habit, it's an act of aggression.
Yup there was a story where a guy would get worse and even do stuff on his cat. He would pee on his sister in laws things. This man is obviously going to get worse
This just isn't going to work. He's so gross and his nastiness is literally everywhere, and it doesn't have to be "obvious" for it to be a problem. But please tell him why you're leaving him, so he understands why it failed.
Well his mask sure came off quickly after OP ignored his texts for a couple days. That was all it took for him to show his true colors. There's absolutely no coming back from saying things like he did, and there's absolutely no future for OP with that disgusting man. Why do people think it's forgivable to say nasty things just because they're upset? Why is that so normalized? "I'm sorry, I was upset (so it's OK that I called you an ugly b*tch)." A little bit of self-control even when you are angry isn't too much to ask. I've been furious with my wife too, as has she with me, but during our ten years of being married neither of us has ever resorted to saying nasty things to one another in the heat of the moment.
How does one clean a sensitive part of their body with a curtain which is usually made with a plasticy or scratchier fabric? But yeah this is why hygiene is important folks Ok and yikes with the emails and text spam!! wtf
I shouldn’t judge this girl because it’s obvious she had her rose tinted glasses on, but come on now 💀 And then that line where she said people were telling her she had low standards and had no self respect for staying with such a guy. Yeah, I face palmed and cringed hearing her panic at that, almost as if she was in denial while also panicking and proving those comments right by how much she tried making excuses for him 😭 I didn’t expect this story to go so south, but it was great that many people dogpiled on the ex. She finally got enough sense to break up with him and see he was such a POS human being. How are you going to keep texting someone who want some time alone, send insults and disgusting curses, then apologize, and then go back to cursing? And, how are you going to excuse that and ask for a second chance? You blew it! All in all, I wish OP well in life. She almost stayed with a massive red flag.
It sounds like he dealt with neglectful parents. The inability to keep up proper hygiene, the self harm, and the explosive behavior when there was a chance OP would abandon him (which is a sign of blowing up the relationship so it doesnt hurt as much when it happens). OP needs to get away, and the dude needs to get help. It sounds like he needs to work on himself before he enters a relationship because it's going to be a self fulfilling prophecy. Also, OP needs to focus on herself and just move on. You are not responsible for another person's actions or trauma.
As soon as the bf started called the OP a B. It's over. A person cannot use labels in a relationship and expect it to last. It's a total lack of respect and these thoughts will always linger. Never, ever call each other names. OP has nothing to worry about. OP is completely in the right and this guys lacks self respect and because he lacks self respect. He cannot possibly respect the OP.
I listened and listened and having a sh history makes it make so much sense, I think it's deeper than just laziness at this point, and it's sad it had to end like this
Very briefly dated someone who had bad hygiene. Just don’t do it. They won’t change and you’ll be nothing but a mother coddling over a toddler. Cut the loss and up your standards.
I'm so glad gay men have better hygiene. Because men are hot, and I've literally never banged a dude who's dirty. My husband will sometimes not shower immediately after a run and I think that's kinda gross (but he still showers before bed, or before going anywhere), but compared to this he's the cleanest man ever. 🤣
Came here to say the same I hae a lot of compassion for the EX, but also by the time we are adults we find out the hard way early on what flies and what does not.
Also... She caught him rubbing his dick on the shower curtain and she said "if you needed toilet paper, there was some in the closet"... Did... Did she think guys wipe after that? Granted, plenty should (out should be forced to piss sitting)...
he sounds sincerely like he has mental health issues. i’ve definitely struggled some with cleanliness due to my mental health, though never on his level. him beginning to improve does show he wanted to work on the issue. but having a mental health reason doesn’t make it less disgusting or mean op has to stay in the relationship. it’s okay for mental health and hygiene to be a dealbreaker. she’s not a therapist or his mom. and frankly, the way he blew up on her after the breakup was disgusting and removed all sympathy i had for him.
His personal hygiene is a result of bad mental health and possible depression, but hes being emotionally abusing to you so you’re justified to dump him. These comments calling him disgusting are beyond insensitive, as someone who struggles with personal hygiene due to depression myself.
It’s important to approach this conversation with kindness and understanding. Everyone has different habits, and addressing the issue gently can make a big difference. You could try framing it in a way that shows care for your shared space and relationship, like saying, 'I really enjoy spending time with you, and it would make me even happier if we could work together on keeping things a bit cleaner.' This way, it feels like a team effort rather than criticism. Communication and mutual respect are key!
Imagine being so idiotic that you call someone names just to get their attention cause you want to date them again? How does this work on some people??
I am not the cleanest person, I can admit I'll let things sit at least a few days until it bugs me. But my god I never let it get THAT bad and I still clean myself fully. It's always these posts about nasty ass men that help me feel less shitty about when depression keeps me from cleaning as much as I would like to.
Anyone can set up, in their digital or physical calendar, tasks or events (with alarms) to do important hygiene, house cleaning or laundry, etc. This is 2025.
They both acted poorly. This was a very sensitive topic, and she didn't handle it well. He was trying to make a major lifestyle overhaul, and was making considerable strides towards the positive, but she kept nit picking at every shortcoming rather than supporting the progress so far and encouraging further progress. He's not going to be a total master of everything immediately. He was already feeling embarrassed and ashamed, and then all the little 'reminders' of hers added up and added up until he blew up because, yes, she actually was being controlling and borderline emotionally abusive. He wasn't mature enough to address these issues before he reached the boiling point and exploded, and also chose to passive-aggressively defile her property in a childish act of defiance and revenge. Considering this is what pets do when they're upset, that is a major indicator of their relationship dynamic. He then continued to act like a lashing out pet. If you ignore a dog, they start chewing the furniture, barking like crazy, and pooping everywhere. Which is not good, he should be acting like an adult human. But, she ALSO continued to behave in a very controlling and emotionally abusive way. The controlling way she said he could only speak for 5 minutes. Her little "well, I would have agreed to date you again, if you had only done X" is straight out of the abusive boyfriend manual. The physical abuse before, and the threatening him with the housemates later. She's really not a good person either. It's good they broke up. He'll have better hygiene with the next girl, and OP will probably wind up with someone who will call her out on her controlling behavior.
@@benji_kay I dont know about you buddy if im working on something and someone nags me almost constantly im gonna blow my top for me thats anger issue and adhd rage. Is he a twat waffle yes. Is she jumping down his throat because shes a neat freak and he isnt doing things perfectly after a couple days? Also yes
You just said someone supporting him in having cleaner habits and better hygiene is emotionally abusive because *checks notes* she also pointed out where he could improve? My god, the bar is in hell.
bro, she had all the reasons to break up with him. wdym he was cleaning his thing w HER CURTAIN 😭
The filth and lack of hygiene isn't laziness, it's a serious psychological issue. His hygiene tells you how he feels about himself, and about others. Defiling your curtains isn't just a bad habit, it's an act of aggression.
Yup there was a story where a guy would get worse and even do stuff on his cat. He would pee on his sister in laws things. This man is obviously going to get worse
This just isn't going to work. He's so gross and his nastiness is literally everywhere, and it doesn't have to be "obvious" for it to be a problem. But please tell him why you're leaving him, so he understands why it failed.
Well his mask sure came off quickly after OP ignored his texts for a couple days. That was all it took for him to show his true colors. There's absolutely no coming back from saying things like he did, and there's absolutely no future for OP with that disgusting man. Why do people think it's forgivable to say nasty things just because they're upset? Why is that so normalized? "I'm sorry, I was upset (so it's OK that I called you an ugly b*tch)." A little bit of self-control even when you are angry isn't too much to ask. I've been furious with my wife too, as has she with me, but during our ten years of being married neither of us has ever resorted to saying nasty things to one another in the heat of the moment.
I mean he did that but he was also a sewage gremlin, you can kind tell off of that that he wasn't a good person
@@joseusainternet yeah not just his body but also his personality is nasty
I just read the title: Leave him
But he’s so stylish and nice😢 /s
They've been dating for four months... *four* months... Some women are really risking their PH balence for these people...
The last comment saying the bar is in hell 😭😭😭 love really make people blind and lower their standards
I’d argue that the people in hell are concerned, because the bar is below hell and no one knows where that is. 😅
How does one clean a sensitive part of their body with a curtain which is usually made with a plasticy or scratchier fabric? But yeah this is why hygiene is important folks
Ok and yikes with the emails and text spam!! wtf
If even a guy like this can get a girl maybe I’ll be ok
this is definitely not the bar you should be setting for yourself...
I shouldn’t judge this girl because it’s obvious she had her rose tinted glasses on, but come on now 💀
And then that line where she said people were telling her she had low standards and had no self respect for staying with such a guy. Yeah, I face palmed and cringed hearing her panic at that, almost as if she was in denial while also panicking and proving those comments right by how much she tried making excuses for him 😭
I didn’t expect this story to go so south, but it was great that many people dogpiled on the ex. She finally got enough sense to break up with him and see he was such a POS human being. How are you going to keep texting someone who want some time alone, send insults and disgusting curses, then apologize, and then go back to cursing? And, how are you going to excuse that and ask for a second chance? You blew it!
All in all, I wish OP well in life. She almost stayed with a massive red flag.
and the award for the biggest doormat goes to...
It sounds like he dealt with neglectful parents.
The inability to keep up proper hygiene, the self harm, and the explosive behavior when there was a chance OP would abandon him (which is a sign of blowing up the relationship so it doesnt hurt as much when it happens).
OP needs to get away, and the dude needs to get help. It sounds like he needs to work on himself before he enters a relationship because it's going to be a self fulfilling prophecy.
Also, OP needs to focus on herself and just move on. You are not responsible for another person's actions or trauma.
Ew not all programmer are like this 😭😭😭 pls I study CS and still clean myself 2-3 times a day and still touch grass😰
a washed up grade nine fixer
As soon as the bf started called the OP a B. It's over. A person cannot use labels in a relationship and expect
it to last. It's a total lack of respect and these thoughts will always linger. Never, ever call each other names.
OP has nothing to worry about. OP is completely in the right and this guys lacks self respect and because
he lacks self respect. He cannot possibly respect the OP.
I listened and listened and having a sh history makes it make so much sense, I think it's deeper than just laziness at this point, and it's sad it had to end like this
True, there sure are mental health problems involved but op is not a therapist either
Real question is why is she asking the internet instead of calling the FBI to investigate this biohazard 💀
the more she said the worser it got😭
This story does not smells right. The boyfriend is almost cartoonish gross
He is really amazing as a person....than why is he wiping his willy on the curtain? What could possible be a reason for doing stuff like that.
He needs therapy, asap
Dude needs therapy RIGHT NOW.
Very briefly dated someone who had bad hygiene. Just don’t do it. They won’t change and you’ll be nothing but a mother coddling over a toddler. Cut the loss and up your standards.
Average tech bro😂😂😂
I'm so glad gay men have better hygiene. Because men are hot, and I've literally never banged a dude who's dirty. My husband will sometimes not shower immediately after a run and I think that's kinda gross (but he still showers before bed, or before going anywhere), but compared to this he's the cleanest man ever. 🤣
As soon as she said he was a programmer I immediately went, "And yuppp, that explains the grossness"
I'm ND and use my Google calendar for reminder tasks with alarms for chores, hygiene, appointments, garbage & recycling days, etc.
Came here to say the same
I hae a lot of compassion for the EX, but also by the time we are adults we find out the hard way early on what flies and what does not.
Dude...this woman is amazing and should NOT be wasting her effort on someone who doesn't deserve it
Also... She caught him rubbing his dick on the shower curtain and she said "if you needed toilet paper, there was some in the closet"... Did... Did she think guys wipe after that? Granted, plenty should (out should be forced to piss sitting)...
from the question in the title, my answer would be "from a distance and upwind"
he sounds sincerely like he has mental health issues. i’ve definitely struggled some with cleanliness due to my mental health, though never on his level. him beginning to improve does show he wanted to work on the issue. but having a mental health reason doesn’t make it less disgusting or mean op has to stay in the relationship. it’s okay for mental health and hygiene to be a dealbreaker. she’s not a therapist or his mom. and frankly, the way he blew up on her after the breakup was disgusting and removed all sympathy i had for him.
His personal hygiene is a result of bad mental health and possible depression, but hes being emotionally abusing to you so you’re justified to dump him. These comments calling him disgusting are beyond insensitive, as someone who struggles with personal hygiene due to depression myself.
Nice I love the longer videosss :)
"Is that how little YOU value our relationship? That is YOUR choice to do such a disgusting thing. YOU chose to do it."
It’s important to approach this conversation with kindness and understanding. Everyone has different habits, and addressing the issue gently can make a big difference. You could try framing it in a way that shows care for your shared space and relationship, like saying, 'I really enjoy spending time with you, and it would make me even happier if we could work together on keeping things a bit cleaner.' This way, it feels like a team effort rather than criticism. Communication and mutual respect are key!
No, it is not. Elementary hygiene is not something you should need to negotiate about.
Bruh my children shower everyday ffs 🤦🏽♀️
Imagine being so idiotic that you call someone names just to get their attention cause you want to date them again? How does this work on some people??
12:45 so she has housemates and, at least 2 of them are large men? My guess is Matt doesn't visit her house since this story got to this point.
I am not the cleanest person, I can admit I'll let things sit at least a few days until it bugs me. But my god I never let it get THAT bad and I still clean myself fully. It's always these posts about nasty ass men that help me feel less shitty about when depression keeps me from cleaning as much as I would like to.
Anyone can set up, in their digital or physical calendar, tasks or events (with alarms) to do important hygiene, house cleaning or laundry, etc. This is 2025.
You're supposed to brush your teeth AFTER eating, not before.
When ADHD meets OCD. Never a good mix! Still doesn't excuse his atrotious behaviour after the breakup though.
Nothing to do with her OCD, everything she asked for is just basic hygiene.
6 mins in
Shes a doormat so far
8 mins in
"I was irrationally mad"
No the fuck you weren't 😂
14:17 idk bro, sounds like a skill issue
There could be a chance man was abused as a child.
🤢🤮😂
💧💧
They both acted poorly. This was a very sensitive topic, and she didn't handle it well. He was trying to make a major lifestyle overhaul, and was making considerable strides towards the positive, but she kept nit picking at every shortcoming rather than supporting the progress so far and encouraging further progress. He's not going to be a total master of everything immediately. He was already feeling embarrassed and ashamed, and then all the little 'reminders' of hers added up and added up until he blew up because, yes, she actually was being controlling and borderline emotionally abusive. He wasn't mature enough to address these issues before he reached the boiling point and exploded, and also chose to passive-aggressively defile her property in a childish act of defiance and revenge. Considering this is what pets do when they're upset, that is a major indicator of their relationship dynamic.
He then continued to act like a lashing out pet. If you ignore a dog, they start chewing the furniture, barking like crazy, and pooping everywhere. Which is not good, he should be acting like an adult human. But, she ALSO continued to behave in a very controlling and emotionally abusive way. The controlling way she said he could only speak for 5 minutes. Her little "well, I would have agreed to date you again, if you had only done X" is straight out of the abusive boyfriend manual. The physical abuse before, and the threatening him with the housemates later. She's really not a good person either. It's good they broke up. He'll have better hygiene with the next girl, and OP will probably wind up with someone who will call her out on her controlling behavior.
i don't know if there's hope for you if you came out of this story thinking things was her fault.
@@benji_kay I dont know about you buddy if im working on something and someone nags me almost constantly im gonna blow my top for me thats anger issue and adhd rage. Is he a twat waffle yes. Is she jumping down his throat because shes a neat freak and he isnt doing things perfectly after a couple days? Also yes
You just said someone supporting him in having cleaner habits and better hygiene is emotionally abusive because *checks notes* she also pointed out where he could improve? My god, the bar is in hell.
I uh.... I don't wanna live after hearing that