God bless DR Bateman. Used to see him in Tottenham like to say he has contributed to me still being alive today I’m 41 been seeing doctors since being 3 years old only when this man got involved did I start to get meds properly and treated like a human being such a kind man I will never forget him
He would probably love to receive an email or letter from you telling him how much he has helped you to become who are today. He will probably be excited to hear that you're alive and well.
I'm sorry. I have to say I appreciate my own former therapist much more everytime I see one of these videos. If someone spoke to me while i was getting aggitated like that I'd have found it extremely hard to stay calm and stay in the room. Empathy and validation can and should be done without all the soft talking velvet tongued bullcrap. It just comes across as condescending...you can be mindful of your tone and own body language without sounding like a primary school/kindergarten teacher. I appreciate that this is a lesson on how to probe a conversation gently in order to find the root cause of the emotional distress... But to anyone reading this... please, patients will respect you more if you try your *human* voice.
@@curtiscollazo9219 I think that's the point. Establishing relationship is the key. Look how she went from calm to worked up and got to the real issue. Then one could apply therapeuptic intervention which could be MBT, DBT or CBT or a combination. Depends on the patient, don't you think?
I totally agree! This demonstrated really good open questions but in terms of empathising, he did it with language but didn’t seem brilliantly attuned to her. He also shouldn’t have told her not to get upset/calm down (can’t remember exactly what he said). I was shocked at that bit. NEVER tell someone to not feel what they’re feeling, especially if that’s when they’re frustrated or angry. Validation helps people calm down, not dismissing their feelings.
I don't see that. His tone sounds natural, to me it does not come across as condescending at all. I guess this may not be his natural "human voice", but he is in a professional situation, he is delivering a service. It's normal that we don't talk to clients/patients, or strangers the same way we would talk to friends or family. I've seen therapists being rather careless in the way they communicate with clients (or consultants), and that, for me, comes across as disrespectful. So, I guess it really depends on the person. Therapy is done throught relationship, that's why not all therapists may be a good fit for all people, we have our personal preferences.
I am a man diagnosed with BPD and I have followed this form of treatment. I understand the necessity of mentalisation instead of losing myself into my emotions and start thinking everybody is against me etc. Though I continuously felt be holden back. Everything I disagreed about something the therapists already assumed I was losing my sense of reality. It is hard already to find out for myself what my feelings are and why they're triggered. I find it difficult to express my emotions because of fear then I might be doing something destructive. For me it sometimes can be good to loose myself into my emotions, because then I can find out what's the cause behind it. I already understood that shouldn't mean I will become destructive. But it doesn't help when the therapists continuously interrupts me and provokes me. I felt manipulated. The therapy lasted for 36 months. The therapists concluded I improved so much I don't have BPD anymore. However my life didn't become any better. I only felt guilty, weak and a loser because I still didn't manage to build up my life.
I've never stayed in any kind of therapy I'm 37 now and do ok on my own. I hate men but i have valid reasons to not want one. It's not just the BPD. Other than that just a boring routine now lol
@@alexandramn6734 Hi Alex, please don't hate all men. I have BPD and I can relate to how you feel. You just need to find the right man. Maybe one with BPD also that completely understands you. I feel like the only woman for me would be one with the same diagnosis so we can both communicate on the same frequency. Good luck and all the best ❤
2 ปีที่แล้ว +16
"don't get worked up about it straight away" - I'm not sure that that is empathic.
@@nieoceniona ...it means don't "read between the lines" and assume things...stay grounded in reality otherwise you are reacting to things that may not even be real.
maybe the therapist could take some 'acting' classes, because it's very difficult to be convincingly 'empathetic' when you are interrogating someone. and empathy is not a 'buzzword', it means you really have to care about the lives of theirs.
'don't get worked up about it' WHAT???? empathic validation??? ok lmao. Having researched a bit, and seen this, I now understand why treatment for BPD in the UK is so bad. And it makes more sense to me why friends have had such horrendous things said to them by therapists.
He said 'Don't get worked up about it straightaway', because it is not constructive to let your anger take over in the session. Your therapist is not your enemy, he is trying to help you. It is his job to work you through the protocol of the therapy and that does not work here if you try to recall information while seeing everything through a red lens.
@@mardishores4016 If you have a bad therapist or don't want to fix your issues in the first place, then yes. I'd say about 70% of therapists shouldn't practice to begin with before they get their own life together.
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God bless DR Bateman. Used to see him in Tottenham like to say he has contributed to me still being alive today I’m 41 been seeing doctors since being 3 years old only when this man got involved did I start to get meds properly and treated like a human being such a kind man I will never forget him
He would probably love to receive an email or letter from you telling him how much he has helped you to become who are today. He will probably be excited to hear that you're alive and well.
I'm sorry. I have to say I appreciate my own former therapist much more everytime I see one of these videos.
If someone spoke to me while i was getting aggitated like that I'd have found it extremely hard to stay calm and stay in the room.
Empathy and validation can and should be done without all the soft talking velvet tongued bullcrap.
It just comes across as condescending...you can be mindful of your tone and own body language without sounding like a primary school/kindergarten teacher.
I appreciate that this is a lesson on how to probe a conversation gently in order to find the root cause of the emotional distress...
But to anyone reading this... please, patients will respect you more if you try your *human* voice.
How did your therapist react?
@@curtiscollazo9219 I think that's the point. Establishing relationship is the key. Look how she went from calm to worked up and got to the real issue. Then one could apply therapeuptic intervention which could be MBT, DBT or CBT or a combination. Depends on the patient, don't you think?
I absolutely agree with you Anon
I totally agree! This demonstrated really good open questions but in terms of empathising, he did it with language but didn’t seem brilliantly attuned to her. He also shouldn’t have told her not to get upset/calm down (can’t remember exactly what he said). I was shocked at that bit. NEVER tell someone to not feel what they’re feeling, especially if that’s when they’re frustrated or angry. Validation helps people calm down, not dismissing their feelings.
I don't see that. His tone sounds natural, to me it does not come across as condescending at all. I guess this may not be his natural "human voice", but he is in a professional situation, he is delivering a service. It's normal that we don't talk to clients/patients, or strangers the same way we would talk to friends or family. I've seen therapists being rather careless in the way they communicate with clients (or consultants), and that, for me, comes across as disrespectful. So, I guess it really depends on the person. Therapy is done throught relationship, that's why not all therapists may be a good fit for all people, we have our personal preferences.
I am a man diagnosed with BPD and I have followed this form of treatment. I understand the necessity of mentalisation instead of losing myself into my emotions and start thinking everybody is against me etc.
Though I continuously felt be holden back. Everything I disagreed about something the therapists already assumed I was losing my sense of reality.
It is hard already to find out for myself what my feelings are and why they're triggered. I find it difficult to express my emotions because of fear then I might be doing something destructive.
For me it sometimes can be good to loose myself into my emotions, because then I can find out what's the cause behind it. I already understood that shouldn't mean I will become destructive. But it doesn't help when the therapists continuously interrupts me and provokes me. I felt manipulated.
The therapy lasted for 36 months. The therapists concluded I improved so much I don't have BPD anymore. However my life didn't become any better. I only felt guilty, weak and a loser because I still didn't manage to build up my life.
I quit this 'therapy' after 9 months
Also mbt
I've never stayed in any kind of therapy I'm 37 now and do ok on my own. I hate men but i have valid reasons to not want one. It's not just the BPD. Other than that just a boring routine now lol
How do you feel about this issue now one year later?
@@alexandramn6734 Hi Alex, please don't hate all men. I have BPD and I can relate to how you feel. You just need to find the right man. Maybe one with BPD also that completely understands you. I feel like the only woman for me would be one with the same diagnosis so we can both communicate on the same frequency. Good luck and all the best ❤
"don't get worked up about it straight away" - I'm not sure that that is empathic.
Yep I didn’t like him saying that. It sounded parental and scolding
Mind reading makes life show up as you imagine.
what do you mean by that?
@@nieoceniona ...it means don't "read between the lines" and assume things...stay grounded in reality otherwise you are reacting to things that may not even be real.
@@shawnstephens6795 ugh. Its so hard tho
I need this
therapist interrupts too much
brillante
maybe the therapist could take some 'acting' classes, because it's very difficult to be convincingly 'empathetic' when you are interrogating someone. and empathy is not a 'buzzword', it means you really have to care about the lives of theirs.
sorry 'others'.
Completely agree. There was something profoundly condescending about his entire stance.
'don't get worked up about it' WHAT???? empathic validation??? ok lmao.
Having researched a bit, and seen this, I now understand why treatment for BPD in the UK is so bad. And it makes more sense to me why friends have had such horrendous things said to them by therapists.
He said 'Don't get worked up about it straightaway', because it is not constructive to let your anger take over in the session. Your therapist is not your enemy, he is trying to help you. It is his job to work you through the protocol of the therapy and that does not work here if you try to recall information while seeing everything through a red lens.
@@trime1015 therapists can do more harm than good. Talk therapy is a fukking waste of time.
Btw.. psych drugs crippled me and did more damage than ACE.
@@mardishores4016 If you have a bad therapist or don't want to fix your issues in the first place, then yes. I'd say about 70% of therapists shouldn't practice to begin with before they get their own life together.
He lost me when he told her not to get worked up. Wtf?