Ladies! I had a man who so called love me kept me for 5 years stayed with me . Said he marry me. Then when I'm about to leave try to marry me to keep me. I broke up with him. Now I have a man who wants to marry me after 6 months says alot ladies
Says nothing. I was in countless relationships for years that "went nowhere", and society basically shamed me for it. Then at 33 years of age, I met a man and he married me within 3 months. I thought finally I had done it right, finally "my worth and value" was being seen, finally I was the One for a man! Long story short: worst mistake of my life, and I am glad I got out of that marriage pronto (2 years of actually living under one roof, 5 years on paper until the divorce was through). Almost two decades have passed since then, and it is enraging me to no end how young women are still getting fooled. The quickness with which some men "want to marry you" only says something about their agenda, and in many cases desperation - they´ve been feverishly looking for the right candidate to become their maid, chef, secretary and caretaker. That´s it. Society still tries to fool you just like every other young woman that it´s about "love" and because he "knows you´re the one". And all the women out there who don´t know any better will tell you the same foolishness. Please wake up, honey. And absolutely do not marry.
Be careful not to rush for marriage either. What may look like security at first can quickly become your prison. Watch them closely in every season and mood to see more of their core self.
That's why I don't understand why women brag talking about "I met my husband and we were married after only 5 months. Ladies, if he wanted to, he would." Um, excuse me? No thank you! I need to watch him in all seasons, literally at least 2 calendar years, before actually BELIEVING that what he's telling/showing me is the real deal.
When I was 13 yrs old, I read Jackie Collins book Chance. The main character dated his gf over 10 years. He looked at her and saw how she didn't dress up or wore makeup. He walked out of the door and left her. He married a 18 year old and he was 43. I never forget that chapter 30 years later.
Exactly! And only realize that you really loved them after they left the marriage. Imagine your ex husband text you “wow you really loved me” (air SLAP) 😂 Love yourself wayyy more! ❤
The more you hold on to that man the more you hurt yourself!!! Girl, this is the advice i wish I got in my 20s. "You can't see that he's your struggle" 😱
Good for you, taking responsibility! Women have GOT to stop destroying/wasting their lives for "lurrrrve"! Giving up stupid "romance novels" and "chick flicks" might be a good start for women! Those are MEANT TO brainwash us into the most idiotic "romantic" ideals and notions about relationship and men! When you refuse to deal with reality, reality will sooner or later, show up to deal with YOU! I'm not saying there should be "no" romance, but I have seen these ridiculous "romantic" ideas women have destroy many a relationship because "prince charming" isn't dancing to the tune the women has playing in her head. And many women hang around waiting in a relationship for the man to "do something more" and waste their lives and fertility on someone who didn't take them seriously! And all this out of "lurrrve"!
Ladies, can I please have your attention? I need some serious answers. I don’t know about y’all but going into 2025, I am planning on spending more time in the community doing volunteer work and spending even less time thinking about dating and relationships. These men have completely checked out and there is no hope. My question is, do any of you feel inspired to do the same? I’m asking because, if many women are child free and decentering men, what else are we spending our free time doing? I pray that 2025 is more productive in our local communities and other social causes that really need our time, energy and attention.
I'm not childfree, was married but I'm decentering men. I find events to go to with my kid every weekend, I eat out at places I like, I'm about to get involved in the ministry at church and m thinking of going back to school. The future is ours! Bless🙏🏾
Went through this with a boyfriend before I met my husband. It didn't take years though. Once he thought I was locked in, he started acting fishy by month 6. I called him on it and he couldn't deny he didn't see us getting married. He was staying with me so he was going to continue pretending bc he didn't have the money to get his own. The direct confrontation exposed him.
Why are we still on this topic. We’ve already confirmed that being “the girl” doesn’t make you any more valuable or special than the one he used as a place holder and being married isn’t the fairytale is was told it was. So many women who was and are “the girl” are catching hell and are unknowingly being second or first to his other options. Lady best advice is love yourself more than you love a man. And if you wanna love him only love him as much as he loves you and love him by what he does for you. Not what he says.
Yes, they have to love you more than you love them. It’s so true it breaks my heart and I’ve never been in a relationship my entire 34 yrs of my life and I’ll be 35 on the the 16th of Dec. All of these experiences I’ve witnessed since a child with family, friends and strangers. A man has to love a woman more for her to be truly be loved, protected and provided by him and for him to give his all. He had to have worked harrrddd for her in all aspects.
Wait my birthday is also on 16th Dec what a coincidence 😊👋🏽happy birthday in advance Queen The fact that you've never been in a relationship shouldn't discourage you...trust me you're not missing out on anything except heartbreak and everything chaotic you can think about....most of us have only been in relationships but not a real relationship that adds value...all we got from those relationships was trauma and even babies...so don't think you've missed out on anything...if anything it has kept you safe
@Kurosaki. Please know the majority of males aren't Capable of Love, they will use and abuse and than disguard you in a quick minute. Please focus on yourself and possibly friendships with like-minded women. You've been Blessed all this time. Leave those Time Wasters males Alone it's not worth it.
My friend was with her ex fiancé for 19 years, and I kept telling her that Man does not want to marry you. Now, fast-forward today, he went out and got him another woman and Asian woman while he was still in a relationship with her, but she didn't even know it. And then he started mistreating her and threw her out and took the kids. Now she's in and out of psychiatric hospitals talking to herself and she is no longer the same person.
@ yeah she actually is. She hasn't had a job for over a year and I don't think she's mentally there anymore for a job. It's a good thing she don't walk around at night a lot anymore talking to spirits and talking to dead people when or talking to her self. She can have somewhat of a conversation, but her conversation continues to leads back to her ex fiancé. So yeah, she's really mentally gone.
In the lgbtqia community it’s the same thing. I’ve been talking to someone nearly 2.5 years and let’s be real it’s lack luster, boring, one sided & draining. My needs aren’t even addressed let alone met sometimes. I’m tired 😴. I refuse to settle …. I am keeping my options open and will continue to date other people. Like I can’t even get a damn date 📅 yet I’m always planning, paying and initiating the dates. He just shows up n does the absolute bare minimum. I know I don’t want to do this forever , hell I don’t want to waste another year with him tbh. He isn’t a bad person but he isn’t romantic at all, doesn’t care to meet my needs, takes n never gives, selfish n self centered to the core. Outside of sex there’s nothing happening here.
From 2021-2023 I’ve been stuck with a loser jailbird who’s drained me of EVERYTHING & his sister stole my dog😢 I’ve found god & myself since then but ladies be careful who you let into your life🙏🏿💙
I’m 43 and have 3 children and my kids father were together for 24 years on and off. He bought me an engagement ring 5 years ago and still nothing. The cheating got extremely worse during this time he went to jail a few times and I finally cut loose of the situation. Never waste your years on a Loser ladies
Stop blaming men. You are not forced to stay in a ten plus year relationship. Know your worth, what you want and move on. I dated a guy for three years, he did not want marriage, I did and ended it. If I could end a relationship at the age of 25, so can you!
Women really do need to "set limits" on relationships if they are serious about getting married. Sticking with a man for 10 years hoping for a ring is ridiculous. It's fine if you have no interest in marriage, but women who want marriage should have high standards and not put up with triflers. Nor should they be promiscuous; a LOT of triflers avail themselves of modern women's tendency to "put out" freely and pretend to be "serious". If a man wants you bad enough he will overlook the "holding out" and stick around! Choosing celibacy is going to be a POWERFUL weapon if enough women get on board and stop putting out for every tom, dick, and harry. We have vibrators now; no excuse for random sex with men who are for the most part, lousy in bed anyway! Never mind all the DISEASE out there!
Very true. Unfortunately women can be suckers for love and think he will change or do better when he clearly shows he won’t. I’ve been guilty of it myself for one man. I was able to quickly leave everyone else but it was one that had me in a chokehold. Im glad to know better now.
But there’s a twist…. They will marry you and still waste your time and make your life miserable. I know many of married women wasting time trying to make their husbands happy, which is an impossible feat.
Don’t do it. Fortunately, I only wasted my time in college because I was just like… sure, why not be together? It’s true. The next man I dated proposed after I finished school the second time. I thought it was early, but he knew. I didn’t get that. But I made sure we waited a long while before we married because these dudes are a trip. They take forever to grow, so even if he does know he wants you and proposes… stay watchful.
Nah.. i think weddings are too costly now.. we have been partners for 20 years. He is now 67, so i dont see him leaving me. I take care of him and he is 100% kind and loving. We met at age 44 and 48 so .. we have lived our lives. when i was younger my 1st husband proposed 3 weeks after we met.. he cheated on me all the time.
I realize iam the better than nothing woman, either for my values and my empathetic self. Is a win for him. I cared for his son and he ruined the possible relationship, he has abused me and cheated and i told him you think i was born to be you "Better than nothing girl". I have a feeling that the ex girlfriend who was his mistress amd girlfriend while we where started our marriage he was doing double lifes and he played good for a long time, he treated me like shit and she told me he always treather like a queen. Even my mother in law knew and talked to her. Those people are so fake. And i feel like an idiot when addressing the issue until know he hasn't really told me nothing he keeps denying and he just sweep under the rug like nothing happend. Is in the past. 😂 the Audacity of making you sufer and they just don't feel bad
The girl of his dreams is a fantasy girl. She's not real. A flesh and blood woman will evolve if her neurons are firing on all cylinders. She's going to change and get better. Will he? I doubt it if he's hoping for his "dream girl." His dream girl will raise kids, get fat and grow old. Has he considered that? Probably not. If he did he would actually look for a "real woman". A partner to share the journey of life! He's gonna get fat too and grow old... And she's gonna be there for him if he's been a real man to her...and remain true to herself...because she's a real woman.
I'm done... not trying to figure it out anymore 😂
I hear you!!!!!!
Me too I’m done
SMART LADY
Ladies! I had a man who so called love me kept me for 5 years stayed with me . Said he marry me. Then when I'm about to leave try to marry me to keep me. I broke up with him. Now I have a man who wants to marry me after 6 months says alot ladies
Don't do it!
Says nothing. I was in countless relationships for years that "went nowhere", and society basically shamed me for it. Then at 33 years of age, I met a man and he married me within 3 months. I thought finally I had done it right, finally "my worth and value" was being seen, finally I was the One for a man!
Long story short: worst mistake of my life, and I am glad I got out of that marriage pronto (2 years of actually living under one roof, 5 years on paper until the divorce was through). Almost two decades have passed since then, and it is enraging me to no end how young women are still getting fooled.
The quickness with which some men "want to marry you" only says something about their agenda, and in many cases desperation - they´ve been feverishly looking for the right candidate to become their maid, chef, secretary and caretaker. That´s it. Society still tries to fool you just like every other young woman that it´s about "love" and because he "knows you´re the one". And all the women out there who don´t know any better will tell you the same foolishness. Please wake up, honey. And absolutely do not marry.
Be careful not to rush for marriage either. What may look like security at first can quickly become your prison. Watch them closely in every season and mood to see more of their core self.
marriage is always hell for the Woman even b4 children.
That's why I don't understand why women brag talking about "I met my husband and we were married after only 5 months. Ladies, if he wanted to, he would."
Um, excuse me? No thank you! I need to watch him in all seasons, literally at least 2 calendar years, before actually BELIEVING that what he's telling/showing me is the real deal.
When I was 13 yrs old, I read Jackie Collins book Chance. The main character dated his gf over 10 years. He looked at her and saw how she didn't dress up or wore makeup. He walked out of the door and left her. He married a 18 year old and he was 43. I never forget that chapter 30 years later.
Seems like as soon as they realize you like/love them more, that you are more invested, they try to and abuse that affection.
That's why women need to not love a man more than he loves her. Get a man that loves you more
Ding ding ding
Exactly! And only realize that you really loved them after they left the marriage. Imagine your ex husband text you “wow you really loved me” (air SLAP) 😂
Love yourself wayyy more! ❤
@kekedouluvm3109 now they're trying to tell the guys " make sure the women loves you more " they're trying to make love impossible
The more you hold on to that man the more you hurt yourself!!! Girl, this is the advice i wish I got in my 20s. "You can't see that he's your struggle" 😱
I agree 100% wasted 10 years but it was my fault for giving him a second chance out of love!!
Good for you, taking responsibility! Women have GOT to stop destroying/wasting their lives for "lurrrrve"! Giving up stupid "romance novels" and "chick flicks" might be a good start for women! Those are MEANT TO brainwash us into the most idiotic "romantic" ideals and notions about relationship and men! When you refuse to deal with reality, reality will sooner or later, show up to deal with YOU! I'm not saying there should be "no" romance, but I have seen these ridiculous "romantic" ideas women have destroy many a relationship because "prince charming" isn't dancing to the tune the women has playing in her head. And many women hang around waiting in a relationship for the man to "do something more" and waste their lives and fertility on someone who didn't take them seriously! And all this out of "lurrrve"!
I did the same
Thing glad I’m out of the relationship now though
@@Vstar87 I could have gotten out in 4 years, but my second chance gave him another 2.
I did the same thing but the sad thing is I lost track of how many chances I was giving him .Glad you got out though !
Same here nine years and now he’s trying to comeback and waste some more of my years smh 🤦♀️ mind you he’s 13 years older than me
Just be single and leave men where they stand, I laugh at the bs men say 😂😂😂 I'm happier single with my kiddos
Ladies, can I please have your attention? I need some serious answers. I don’t know about y’all but going into 2025, I am planning on spending more time in the community doing volunteer work and spending even less time thinking about dating and relationships. These men have completely checked out and there is no hope. My question is, do any of you feel inspired to do the same? I’m asking because, if many women are child free and decentering men, what else are we spending our free time doing? I pray that 2025 is more productive in our local communities and other social causes that really need our time, energy and attention.
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
I'm not childfree, was married but I'm decentering men. I find events to go to with my kid every weekend, I eat out at places I like, I'm about to get involved in the ministry at church and m thinking of going back to school. The future is ours! Bless🙏🏾
Am simply babying and catering to myself in all aspects, e.g healthwise, financially etc,not overthinking anything.
Most Women have or are checking out.
I’ve planned on pursuing the things I was always afraid to do in terms of skills, art, leisure and business. I’m starting my bucket list. 💖
I don't want to get married period (I'm also childfree too). So I guess I'll never know if a man actually thinks I'm the one lol. 😂
Went through this with a boyfriend before I met my husband. It didn't take years though. Once he thought I was locked in, he started acting fishy by month 6. I called him on it and he couldn't deny he didn't see us getting married. He was staying with me so he was going to continue pretending bc he didn't have the money to get his own. The direct confrontation exposed him.
Why are we still on this topic. We’ve already confirmed that being “the girl” doesn’t make you any more valuable or special than the one he used as a place holder and being married isn’t the fairytale is was told it was. So many women who was and are “the girl” are catching hell and are unknowingly being second or first to his other options. Lady best advice is love yourself more than you love a man. And if you wanna love him only love him as much as he loves you and love him by what he does for you. Not what he says.
Yes, they have to love you more than you love them. It’s so true it breaks my heart and I’ve never been in a relationship my entire 34 yrs of my life and I’ll be 35 on the the 16th of Dec.
All of these experiences I’ve witnessed since a child with family, friends and strangers. A man has to love a woman more for her to be truly be loved, protected and provided by him and for him to give his all. He had to have worked harrrddd for her in all aspects.
Wait my birthday is also on 16th Dec what a coincidence 😊👋🏽happy birthday in advance Queen
The fact that you've never been in a relationship shouldn't discourage you...trust me you're not missing out on anything except heartbreak and everything chaotic you can think about....most of us have only been in relationships but not a real relationship that adds value...all we got from those relationships was trauma and even babies...so don't think you've missed out on anything...if anything it has kept you safe
@Kurosaki. Please know the majority of males aren't Capable of Love, they will use and abuse and than disguard you in a quick minute. Please focus on yourself and possibly friendships with like-minded women. You've been Blessed all this time. Leave those Time Wasters males Alone it's not worth it.
Happy Birthday
@@mskabuehappy birthday
Happy Birthday!
A woman knows who she wants to give the cookie to, and a man knows who he's going to marry
Facts 💯 ladies play it safe.❤
2 years is all they get. I broke up with a bf of 2 1/2 years. I met my late husband 6 months later. Within a year, I had a ring.
Dat Part
A RING IS NO GURANTEE... trust me!!!!!!!!
Omg watching this video and I used to be that dummy… 😂 now divorced and the new one paid for it. Thank you boo!
Great comment and even better we share the same name, Lovebug.
My other name is Raeda also!
❤🎉❤🎉
My friend was with her ex fiancé for 19 years, and I kept telling her that Man does not want to marry you. Now, fast-forward today, he went out and got him another woman and Asian woman while he was still in a relationship with her, but she didn't even know it. And then he started mistreating her and threw her out and took the kids. Now she's in and out of psychiatric hospitals talking to herself and she is no longer the same person.
Omg I pray she's not too far gone. My goodness. 19 years. Lawd have mercy.
@ yeah she actually is. She hasn't had a job for over a year and I don't think she's mentally there anymore for a job. It's a good thing she don't walk around at night a lot anymore talking to spirits and talking to dead people when or talking to her self. She can have somewhat of a conversation, but her conversation continues to leads back to her ex fiancé. So yeah, she's really mentally gone.
That is awful. I have seen and heard entirely too many stories of women losing their minds over a man. It’s so devastating.
So sirry to hear about your friend. Because if sm's.
Good grief🥴
Both people in a relationship should love each other equally.
You are gambling when you get in a relationship. If God didn't put it together you will experience hell. I'm talking from experience
In the lgbtqia community it’s the same thing. I’ve been talking to someone nearly 2.5 years and let’s be real it’s lack luster, boring, one sided & draining. My needs aren’t even addressed let alone met sometimes. I’m tired 😴. I refuse to settle …. I am keeping my options open and will continue to date other people. Like I can’t even get a damn date 📅 yet I’m always planning, paying and initiating the dates. He just shows up n does the absolute bare minimum. I know I don’t want to do this forever , hell I don’t want to waste another year with him tbh. He isn’t a bad person but he isn’t romantic at all, doesn’t care to meet my needs, takes n never gives, selfish n self centered to the core. Outside of sex there’s nothing happening here.
You're his sugar mama.
From 2021-2023 I’ve been stuck with a loser jailbird who’s drained me of EVERYTHING & his sister stole my dog😢 I’ve found god & myself since then but ladies be careful who you let into your life🙏🏿💙
Marriage sounds boring to me now, so no thanks
I’m 43 and have 3 children and my kids father were together for 24 years on and off. He bought me an engagement ring 5 years ago and still nothing. The cheating got extremely worse during this time he went to jail a few times and I finally cut loose of the situation. Never waste your years on a Loser ladies
appreciate your channel and love ur advice ty
Stop blaming men. You are not forced to stay in a ten plus year relationship. Know your worth, what you want and move on. I dated a guy for three years, he did not want marriage, I did and ended it. If I could end a relationship at the age of 25, so can you!
🎯🤌
Women really do need to "set limits" on relationships if they are serious about getting married. Sticking with a man for 10 years hoping for a ring is ridiculous. It's fine if you have no interest in marriage, but women who want marriage should have high standards and not put up with triflers. Nor should they be promiscuous; a LOT of triflers avail themselves of modern women's tendency to "put out" freely and pretend to be "serious". If a man wants you bad enough he will overlook the "holding out" and stick around!
Choosing celibacy is going to be a POWERFUL weapon if enough women get on board and stop putting out for every tom, dick, and harry. We have vibrators now; no excuse for random sex with men who are for the most part, lousy in bed anyway! Never mind all the DISEASE out there!
Very true. Unfortunately women can be suckers for love and think he will change or do better when he clearly shows he won’t. I’ve been guilty of it myself for one man. I was able to quickly leave everyone else but it was one that had me in a chokehold. Im glad to know better now.
This video isn’t about blaming men. It’s about informing women.
5:24 to 7:48 spot on ❤ 🙏🏽 ❤
14:54- This is a NEW insightful word here. Interesting. "Who they WANT to be...?" Huhn.🤔
But there’s a twist…. They will marry you and still waste your time and make your life miserable. I know many of married women wasting time trying to make their husbands happy, which is an impossible feat.
Yes some men will marry you to keep you in the house but never commit to you
14:41 💯
❤❤
Don’t do it. Fortunately, I only wasted my time in college because I was just like… sure, why not be together?
It’s true. The next man I dated proposed after I finished school the second time. I thought it was early, but he knew. I didn’t get that. But I made sure we waited a long while before we married because these dudes are a trip. They take forever to grow, so even if he does know he wants you and proposes… stay watchful.
I WILL NEVER MARRY!
1000 percent waste of time and I have no more time to waste.
Nah.. i think weddings are too costly now.. we have been partners for 20 years. He is now 67, so i dont see him leaving me. I take care of him and he is 100% kind and loving. We met at age 44 and 48 so .. we have lived our lives. when i was younger my 1st husband proposed 3 weeks after we met.. he cheated on me all the time.
I realize iam the better than nothing woman, either for my values and my empathetic self. Is a win for him. I cared for his son and he ruined the possible relationship, he has abused me and cheated and i told him you think i was born to be you "Better than nothing girl".
I have a feeling that the ex girlfriend who was his mistress amd girlfriend while we where started our marriage he was doing double lifes and he played good for a long time, he treated me like shit and she told me he always treather like a queen. Even my mother in law knew and talked to her. Those people are so fake.
And i feel like an idiot when addressing the issue until know he hasn't really told me nothing he keeps denying and he just sweep under the rug like nothing happend. Is in the past. 😂 the Audacity of making you sufer and they just don't feel bad
The girl of his dreams is a fantasy girl. She's not real. A flesh and blood woman will evolve if her neurons are firing on all cylinders. She's going to change and get better. Will he? I doubt it if he's hoping for his "dream girl." His dream girl will raise kids, get fat and grow old. Has he considered that? Probably not. If he did he would actually look for a "real woman". A partner to share the journey of life! He's gonna get fat too and grow old... And she's gonna be there for him if he's been a real man to her...and remain true to herself...because she's a real woman.
Everyone today are just horrible and annoying.
That’s not true. Men know within the first month if you are “the one.” Not months or years.