What Autistic Burnout Feels Like - Top Signs (Part 3)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ส.ค. 2023
- Hi! I'm Orion Kelly and I'm Autistic. #ActuallyAutistic #orionkelly #autism #autismsigns #whatautismfeelslike #asd
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Orion Kelly is an #ActuallyAutistic vlogger (TH-camr), podcaster, radio host, actor, keynote speaker and Autistic advocate based in Australia. Orion is all about helping you increase your understanding, acceptance and appreciation of Autistic people.
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You just described what feels like my entire life.
I can relate right now. I may need a mental health check up. It hasn't happened yet. I am avoiding negativity, like bad news.
You are not alone. I've been hiding out in my room for days. I've gone to work, but once I am off of work, I go straight to my room. I dont feel like interacting with anyone.
I hate when I have to go into the office while feeling like this. I'll feel totally disconnected and unable to think or sit still. People will try to make small talk and I just kinda stand there awkwardly not saying anything. And then that just compounds knowing that this behavior makes me seem cold and unapproachable which further fuels my social anxiety and uncertainty if my behavior has ruined any relationships.
I hate when I do that deer in headlights look at what should be a simple conversation. Like, damn it, couldn't they have just asked me a direct question instead of saying "I haven't seen you around the office much lately." And I kinda mumbled "Yeah."
@@rebeccasatterley1542 so freaking accurate!
@cjhatesu And like in my head I'm fumbling around with like thinking about having been out a bit with migraines and having doctor appointments and applied for FMLA but not able to put it into sentences in the moment. The brain stuff is too scattered and some of it's pictures more than words. It takes time and energy to corral that into actual spoken words. Sometimes I wish I could just project my thoughts like in fantasy/sc-fi.
Completely accurate. I feel understood.
You’ve just described the last 18m of my life
I'm right there with you!!
You just described December of last year to about... June this year for me. Down to the rivets, that's what it was like.
Yep, that was me from 2018 to early 2021. I continually question my suspicions about being autistic, and then a gem like this pops up on my feed and just confirms them. Thanks again Orion! ❤
I get this regularly, in fact I'm at a quiet caravan park for a few day simply to get a break.
Well, you just described my life right now. It is about 2yrs that i cannot get out of it. I am getting rTMS, for treatment resistant depression...i really hope this will snap me out of the nothingness/fog/detachment
Oy, what a list. At least I am not doing every one of those all the time now, which I have in the past. None of them are altogether off the table. It would be nice if I could cross something off for good, but...that's life I guess. Mine for sure.
This is exactly where I am and have been. I'm in a comPLEtely new place and have not connected with anyone here for any length of time... for nearly 12 years. Now I'm deer in the headlights & overwhelmed even by going to the loo. I want to "lol" there, but it wouldn't be real. I want to be real. ♡
Exactly.
Is it silly to look back on 25 years of being a high school teacher and think "No wonder I was fucking crazy all those years - having 5 periods a day, having to manage 30 to 35 kids per class and go from task to task and deal with administrators and parents and schedules and my own ASD & my sons' ASD too?" Is it weird to think I'm pitiful now in my sixties, retired, and really to tired to do anything but lie around and try to do my best - which most days doesn't seem like much because of fibromyalgia, depression, anxiety and OCD? I don't know. I'm not really looking for kudos or answers. I'm just glad I get nuggets of reality from you, Orion, that let me know I'm not the horrible person I believe myself to be. I'm just really frickin tired. I'm exhausted after a lifetime of being On All The FKNG Time. It's extremely demanding and difficult work being "us".
I appreciate you so much, Orion. You are a beautiful, beautiful, brave man. We all love you dearly. God bless you and your family always and forever. 💐🙏🏽❤️
I have no idea how teachers of any neurotype manage. Based on my own evaluation of my career, I understand how hard it is to look at all that struggling, and the train wreck that comes from it, and feel good about it...but you are entitled to feel that you did with the challenges you had was impressive. I wish I had not pushed so hard, and I wonder if my life would be better now if I hadn't, but at least I accomplished some things for where it got me. You obviously did too. Worn out and dysfunctional sucks, but you're not a horrible person. (I'm 62 and really need to retire before there's nothing left, I fear it's too late.)
@jimwilliams3816 Dear Jim 🥲 My son just called out to me from his room and asked me, "What's wrong, Mom?" I said to him, "Oh, nothing, buddy. I simply got a couple of intergalactic hugs**."
**Hug #1 from Orion, and hug #2 from Jim. Both are much appreciated.
💐🙏🏽💞, Bhörn Anna Windee Deigh 🥰🥰
@jimwilliams3816 I'm not sure what your retirement age is (I was finally put on disability), but you are in my prayers, Jim. I know as retirement age gets closer, the daily grind is almost too much to bear - almost like white-knuckling it on a small plane ride. Hopefully, you have one or two hobbies to take up some of the time you'll have on your hands, or friends to hang out with. I collage and sketch mindlessly when my fibro isn't too intense. Watching interesting TH-cam vids related to art keeps my mind as spry as my body can pretend to follow. 😅 Do take care, sir - and thanks for your most kind response. It hit my feels for sure... my son came in with a real hug, so that was great as well. God bless you. 💐 🙏🏽💞
Wow, spot on!
Is it normal ?
What a way to start?
Discovering an interest? Say gardening?
All of a sudden, going to be Farmer John.
Have to get the right buckets (HOA disallows Gardens). Trowel,shovel?,gloves, seeds, hose nozzle. Fertilizer
And nothings else matters.
Lose sleep because all of the ideas
Find out after first bucket crop(crap crop), not a very good farmer
I was going to have a garden. How f did I get to being a resident farmer?
Lol it’s the same with me but with baking 😄 Now everyone wants me to bake stuff 😅
Indeed
I relate too so much to this also.
❤
I wish my mom knew English so I could send all your videos to her. She doesn’t seem to understand my struggles very well 😅
Take her to the doctor with you and talk to the doctor if you feel you really are autistic.
@@georges9760 I tell her to come with me to my sessions with my doctor every month but I have yet to persuade her 😅 I have my next appointment in 4 days, maybe this time I can finally take her with me?
💯
True. All True.
So Sad.
Yes😊😊😊
Yup. All of this. Shheeeesh.
Ok so how do I deal bc I’m literally not doing anything right now anyway
Exactly ❤
👏
What's the best solution ? 🤔
EXACTLY!! In addition to all this, is the constant, vicious attacks and mockery by co-workers. It never stops.
.......me....right now....having trouble continuing. Im feel like I'm in hell.
Maybe I live in permanent burnout.