r/Datingadvice | you don't look like my date...
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 ธ.ค. 2023
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Top posts from r/Datingadvice on Reddit. Join the community subreddit at / emkay Video credits below.
Narrator ► / @itsboobin
Also check out:
r/DontYouKnowWhoIAm | Houston, we have a problem.
• r/DontYouKnowWhoIAm | ...
r/MaliciousCompliance | Me: Sure thing!
• r/MaliciousCompliance ...
r/Nicegirls | she doesn't want much.
• r/Nicegirls | she does... - ตลก
If a guy kept going on about stew, I would immediately begin going on about buying clothes at the soup store.
WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE!?!?
@@pennyforyourthots DARN YOU!!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHA
@@pennyforyourthots bruh i read soup store in my mind but said stoup sore what is wrong with me
IM AT SOUP
My advice? Don't cheat if you're dating somebody
Great advice
Agree
Truly the advice of dating
Yes
But I cheat on so many tests. What would I do whitout cheating on school tests?
I cant overstate how blind some men can be to the advances of women. I once got a voicemail on my phone where a girl quite passionately told me how i was so helpful and nice to everyone and that my smile made her happy and i improved her day just being around her. She said she liked me a lot and ended the messege.
I no joke said out loud
"Poor girl is pouring her heart out to this guy, too bad someone gave her the wrong number."
Took me years to realise... "Hey wait a minute....was that messege for me?"
Reminds me of when I straight up texted my crush that I liked him and he just didn’t see it 😭 literally I was like “does he not like me back did he not see it???” Turns out he genuinely didn’t see it but we’ve been dating for a year now and we still laugh about it
@casper5669 happy ending though. Glad it worked out for you. I lost that phone and was never able to messege them back. I'm pretty sure I know who it was now. She was real darn cute too.
@@ryanbradleyrankin damn, that sucks /gen hope you someday get in contact with her again
Feels like the guy in the first post read that viral tumblr post about “how a guy has a 100% success rate of getting woman to come home with him by mentioning he has stew at home” and didn’t have the social awareness to realise there might be other factors to why he has a 100% success rate of getting woman to come home with him like charisma.
Edit: that and food might just be his current hyperfixation/special interest
I was thinking about that post as well
well the stew trick didn't work for him. Maybe it will next time
you must make sure the woman knows you have a reliable source of nutrition for her to make babies with, I personally use lentils because they keep for a long time and are easily stored in the pocket (when dry)
Honestly if someone I was on a date with kept bringing up their stew as long as it wasn't in a rude way like he was by constantly changing the subject then it would work on me
Cool, I'm glad to see that wasn't just my personal head cannon. Cuz to me, that's a 100% what happened. He was trying the strategy and everything.
My advice: NEVER date a wasp. They will sting you.
Racist.
@@AaronHendu Fair enough
Damn... that stings
Bees are ok though. One sting and they are finished.
I wouldn’t date myself and I see a woman showing interest in me as a massive red flag. Like come on, have some standards
I giggles at this
*giggled my bad bruh
Same i wouldn't date myself. So im not trying to date anyone lmao
have a feeling a lot of us with low self-esteem feel the same way. I know I do. so you aren't alone.
Same bro
Honestly watching this as an 18 year old who had no dating experience at all has really helped me with gaining confidence in regards to dating. It’s also hard being on the Asexual spectrum
You're young, so it's early yet and you've probably got plenty going on, and maybe this is obvious and I'm dumb, but whenever your need for a romantic companion peaks, I def suggest Ace groups online and, if you can find one, IRL.
it's a smaller pool of people, and plenty will be full-on AroAce, but your resultant relationship would be far happier than one with someone who's sex-typical and would want it (far) more than you would. 👍
Caveat: if you're REALLY into someone who's really into you back, maybe it won't matter, but it's worth thinking about.
@@lady_draguliana784gods I was about to get mad at another person saying „you are so young, you can’t know that you are truly ace“ but then I read your actual super wholesome and helpful message! Thank you for this!
@@judasvn195 my pleasure!
@@judasvn195That was super wholesome
And here’s the million dollar question you’ll feel like you have to keep answering because troglodyte normies like myself don’t immediately understand:
What’s the appeal of a relationship that is more than friendship when asexuality is present? Of course you could say that romantic attraction and sexual attraction aren’t the same thing, but for me, it is, because those feelings tend to be closely related.
Wait, wait, wait, was that first guy trying to replicate the Reddit story of an OP's friend, who always managed to pull women with him from the bar, because he said he had stew waiting at home?
Like, he was trying to make OP hungry with all that talk about food, and then he heavily tried to nudge OP to suggest going home to his place to check on the stew to 'comfort' him? Because fair play to him, but I wouldn't use that move on the first date, or be that heavyhanded about it. He just came across as creepy, when it could absolutely have worked, if he politely suggested going back to his place for stew on a fourth date or something.
Yikes! People, do not go on hikes on dates alone with a practical stranger. Go with a group, or after you've known them for awhile and you're sure they aren't a serial killer trying to make you their next victim.
Hikes, agreed. But meeting in a café, best a place and general area you've been to before and know? That should be okay without bringing a group everytime, right?
@ceciliacole5098 Yeah I'm just wondering about OPs statement
3:50 a chill woman that has her life together, financially responsible, and stays active? Literal perfection, definitely not a turn off
I’ll be completely honest, when I first heard this story, I missed the part that this was a woman. They basically talked about a lot of the same things I and many of my friends are going through and said, “Yeah man, same.” I didn’t even bat an eye when they said they were looking for a boyfriend, just going, “Hey my dude, more power to you. It’s rough out in the dating scene.” Only after I looked back at the start did I realize my mistake. Still relatable though. 😅
19M, if I wasn't already taken none of what she mentioned would be a turn off personally, honestly she has more going on than I do
@@VgateZXC SAME. I thought it was a dude talking then I noticed the (F) at the start
@@Marika_ER I think it’s nice we’re so ready to support someone regardless of gender solely on the fact we relate to their troubles. Hope for the best for everyone.
@@VgateZXC exactly
Here is a tip for any man out there looking for a date: You can throw a slice of cheese at a woman you fancy to woo her.
Didnt work know im not alowed around her
@@brysonwelshbalmer56 That's because you didn't throw the cheese hard enough.
Instructions unclear, threw a brick of cheese at a girl, am now evading the police
Works on anyone
@@SilverAceOfSpades but I melted it
My psychic powers say "give inexperienced nice guys a chance" girl is actually just a Nice Guy.
A wolf in sheep's clothing
10:48 To the topic of curviness, I once heard a woman say (translating it to english the best I could): "Younger guys consider me fat as a cow, older ladies say I'm thin as a reed, and only the medical table of height/weight/age ratio believes I'm completely normal"
That first guy was a dog in a people suit. “But does she have food?”. Lol
28:40
I wholeheartedly agree with this. The “no one will love you until you love yourself” phrase had only just made me loathe myself even more back when I had more severe depression as a teen. When I’m at the point of hating myself all the time, my mind will seek out things to justify the hatred and the only way for me to snap out of it is through receiving love and care from my loved ones. It’s certainly not easy to dig yourself out of that mindset on your own, and telling people who struggle with their self worth that certain phrase is just crappy in my opinion.
You’re not wrong, but as the partner of a few people with such self-esteem/trauma issues, people who don’t work to get past their trauma often suck the energy from their well-meaning partners.
I never realized I needed to hear the whole thing about feeling like you don’t need to learn to love yourself before you love someone else, or that whole thing where relationships don’t happen naturally for most people. Because I certainly am the kinda person with both, I have horrible self esteem and struggle talking to someone I don’t already know. I’d certainly like to date someone, but I’ve always said I wasn’t ready for one yet.
That sums up the last decade of my life. Not only that I didn't look for a relationship, I actually avoided those that kinda happened. Not sure if that will change, but I'll try to be more open.
Yeah I was thirty before I actually dated anyone (happened totally by chance) and I haven't dated anyone since. Partly because I don't feel like I have enough to offer (it's bullshit; I'm charming as hell just depressed) but mostly because the only person I'm interested in doesn't reciprocate and I just don't like anyone else that much.
@@moon-moth1 I think this is a much better way of saying it than the cliche makes out. Like you aren't incapable of being loved if you don't love yourself, but be careful about HOW you're seeing the lack of self-love manifest.
I mean, the "you have to love yourself" is more complicated that it is on face value. You don't have to be in the perfect head space to have a relationship, and a partner can certainly help you through things, BUT when someone doesn't love themselves, that lack of self-love can manifest in destructive ways. It can become constant self-deprecation that's exhausting for your SO to deal with. It can become a paranoia that the SO is "too good" for the other person, or "settling", or "looking for something better" which can lead to jealous and controlling behaviour. Hell, it can even lead to some people berating their SO because crushing their SO's self-esteem is the only way they think they'll be able to keep them.
The only way yo guarantee you don't manifest any of these toxic traits is to... well, deal with your own problems and learn to be confident and love yourself before dating
that stew obsessed guy went home and came into his stew. 100% guarantee.
About the "obliviois guys" thing...
I once fancied a cute nb person. I knew that their bf was a "relationship anarchist", and I am poly, so I decided to try shooting my shot.
I asked the boyfriend if he was fine with me even pursuing the cutie first. He was fully on board, so I scraped together all my courage and approached my crush with the question:
"Hey, I was wondering if you'd be down for kisses and cuddles some time?"
Their answer?
"I wouldn't mind it in principle, but I'm a bit worried I might develop a crush on you."
They have yet to live that one down in over seven years of blissful relationship with me 😂
(Boyfriend is still in the picture and my metamour, they are still super cute together, and bf later told me that his own courtship with our partner was equally hilarious)
this is actually adorable omg best of luck to you three!!
@@risris.18 Thank you! All three of us are really happy with each other! We're all supportive types, so we've been able to give each other so much throughout struggles!
I'm aroace, so sometimes listening to my friends' dating issues makes me happy that I am. It all sounds so stressful! But they do ask me for advice sometimes, maybe because I am completely neutral to it? I got one of my best friends out of a shitting relationship because I pointed out how poorly he was being treated, and how his partner just wasn't putting in any effort, it was all him. He's taking a break and enjoying the single life for now, working on himself.
I'm bad at giving relationship advice cause I haven't been in the dating market for 2 years due to having a boyfriend for 2 years, so I don't understand dating struggles
Right? It seems like such an unnecessary hassle. Most of the time I can barely manage my own emotional state, having to worry about someone else's as the same time would be awful.
If you're aroace, how do you distinguish an intimate partnership from just a close friend/best friend?
@@adamkadir3803idk you just kinda know
And if you’re aroace, do you have trouble showing emotions with people you consider friends?
Man, that reddit thread about not being okay with having always being alone was really comforting - just for the fact it exists.
11:25 I asked for an example of what people thought a “dad bod” was. Names like Jason Momoa, and Dave Bautista came up. We call out unrealistic body expectations on women all the time, same should probably done on men more often
I think of one of my brothers. Or maybe my dad. Like, normally built but with a little extra belly fat.
First of all, the thumbnail lady has a lovely smile.
Secondly, yeah, we already know makeup is witchcraft but if someone with a good personality can wear a face you like, take that as a double win
Exactly! I went on a date with a girl and wore her dad's face. You should have heard the screams! I was like, What? You hate your own dad?
Holyy! I love comment lmao @@thelunchlady8276
Omg Robin I love you! Not enough money to look like an LA 5! I almost died from laughing. You're a 10 in my book! ❤❤❤❤
On giving the inexperienced guy a chance, it’s so true. I’m in a relationship with a guy who’s never really had one and he’s the sweetest and very sincere
I want to date but like that one post said, i dont think id date myself yet. A few girls were interested in me but i didnt feel ready for a relationship yet because i dont drive yet (fear of driving), i need to work on self esteem, and am trying to learn to save money better.
Honestly, my first kiss was just a few month ago at 25 as well and the guy just straight up went in for it before i could registar what he was doing. Straight stealing it from me😂
0:04 I wonder if the reason why the date kept on talking about stew is that he read the story about how one of their friends always seems to convince ladies to come over to his place is because he has stew cooking at home and that the lady should come over and try some and that approach works, and the date of this poster thinks taking about food is a guaranteed topic to get your date to come home with you.
gotta say, I almost teared up when I heard about the "gotta love yourself bullshit" because you have no idea how many decades, yes... I did say decades I have been hearing that. and frankly... on the good days. I can barely stand myself hell I have family that can barely talk to me, so yeah. hearing others say that it's bullshit just made me tearup in a good way, for the longest time I thought that was true.
3:00 I mean I have set a ground rule for that : if I set a standard for someone to be allowed to date me, I will apply it to myself as well (exemple : I prefer no body hair, so imma get rid of my body hair).
Also it's fair to say that unlike OP's friend, I will not treat people I find unattractive like they're hot garbage. Just because they're not my type doesn't mean imma be an asshole about it.
27:37 that is the reason I don't have a gf. Yeah the "enjoy being single" is more painful to hear. I'm sorry to anyone who hears that. I hope you find someone who is always there to help you and listen to you
First guy heard about the friend of a reddit poster who got mad chicks by telling them he had stew back at his place and just took it way too far in a creepy way.. the original stew god would tell girls on a night out he had stew back at his place and it genuinely worked to get them to come home with him because a: who doesn't love stew b: it showed he had his life together enough to have food ready after a night out c:having food allows you to sober up and seems harmless and d:free food
If you are attractive and well mannered, you could tell them you have a bag of uncooked potatoes at home and theyd still follow. I am attractive and well mannered. Women literally try following me home after a simple polite interaction where I was just being pleasant and courteous cause that is how I am. I dont date, so it gets pretty awkward sometimes.
@@AaronHendu r/thathappened
@@AaronHendusir I promise you women aren't following you home
@@AaronHenduMmmmhnope, I prefer the stew. Because that's already finished. I don't wanna be lured into cooking potatoes while I'm tipsy and hungry.
I wouldn't date myself. Not because I think I'm ugly, or a bad person. I'm not my type. I don't /want/ to be with someone just like me. I'm loud and an extrovert. I've got too many hobbies and I'm a yarn hoarder. I've been married for 7 years to a quiet introvert, who collects old movies and video games. We've cosplayed together a few times (we like very different series).
I'm not my type, but he definitely is. He isn't his type, but I apparently am.
My advice for men (stolen from tumblr)
Carve your number into a potato and roll it towards eligible females you wish to court with.
Write a flirt on a lime and give it to the one you wanna date. When they ask you what it is, tell them it is your pick-up lime😜
Oh, roll it to them! I was just throwing it at their head. Wondered why nobody would call me back. I thought it was because I'm ugly, but it was just that I was doing it wrong all along! Thanks, random internet stranger!
28:30 I cried at this one. Loneliness is this shadowy grip on my ankle slowly pulling me lower and lower. Sometimes up to my neck. I feel like I can’t breathe. Loneliness is a disease that starts small and spreads.
on the last point. I used "we need to talk" to someone who had anxiety, but also have anxiety and the entire reason for the breakup those words held is that every time I tried to talk out the problem, there'd be nodding, a few ok's, the problem would ease up for a few days, then come right back up. (Main issue was conflict of "love languages", though it turns out I'm a mute so that doesn't help)
Basically, they needed to be touching me all the time. Arm around shoulders, thigh to thigh, holding hands... whatever. When I said "look, I get that you like this, but I am feeling super crowded, could you please ask a bit before touching me, because I'm starting to feel like I'm going to accidentally flip out because of an unexpected touch." - nod nod, ok, two days later the touches are all back. And I stress that I do not mean pressured into adult-fun or anything, literally just arm around shoulders, holding my hand, pressed against me, whatever it was to be in physical proximity.
we had this convo about four times before I called it. I spent the next few years unable to let people even hug me.
There was also at least one incident where we went on a trip and things were fine going out, we did the thing we set out to do, slept at the prearranged hotel, then got on the bus to go home, and they were fine there, then suddenly on the way back wouldn't talk to me or any of our friends. I cannot think of anything I did, but I was so cut off even when I tried to ask and check if they were ok. It felt like I was just dragging around a lump of stone that wanted to be left alone.
The advice from the one about loneliness right before the 30 minute mark can also apply to friendships. A lot of what was said resonated with me as well, and I'm asexual and aromantic and fine with not having a romantic relationship because that's just not for me. However, I've always struggled with platonic relationships, and I am lonely all the time. And I've heard a lot of the same things of "just learn to happy with your alone time" and "you need to love yourself first", but I also get a lot of invalidation for my orientation because everyone I know is allo and we all grew up in this society that puts romantic relationships above all else and says that not being in a romantic relationship means you're "alone" even if you have friends, so in addition to the stuff about being happy with my own company, I also get a lot of "well maybe you should open yourself up to romantic relationships" or asking if I think I ever could/would change my mind about being acearo in the future whenever I mention being tired of being alone all the time.
Sorry for the invasion of the topic, I just think the stuff said on that post also applies to platonic relationships because I saw myself in that post and in those comments, but I'm aromantic and thinking of my platonic relationships instead.
*Homie in the stew 🍲 story had his priorities straight 😤*
Counterpoint to the guy ranting about “it’ll just happen” if it doesn’t happen, that’s literally why people are telling you to be happy yourself. I worked at goodwill for a while, and one of the happiest guys I knew was this 60 year old loud mouth that stopped dating 16 years ago. He realized it wasn’t for him. So he got hobbies, he started doing models, and bicycling, and that dude doesn’t give one red sh*t what you think of him
That was a lot of good takes in the past 36 minutes. And I want to give a warm hug to everyone commenting and reading here!
Stealing directly from a great tumblr on the topic that I remember from a while back for 28:40 (by compassionatereminders):
"No one can love you until you love yourself" is the worst way of saying "If you don't respect and value yourself, it's very easy to become attracted to people who don't treat you right and then justify their mistreatment, so be careful"
And then another good reply was from anxietydepression-hd saying that it's true it's difficult to be loved until you love yourself. Not because you're difficult to love, you aren't difficult to love, but because it is very difficult to believe that you are loved when you can't see the things to love about yourself.
I especially agree with the reply. If you don't believe you're lovable or loved, which you are, you won't be able to understand the other person and probably won't feel like you deserve it, which leads to miscommunications, insecurity and fear that the other person can't exactly help with alone, since you feel you can't trust them. To love, you've got to be ready to open yourself up and show it all to someone else, even bit by bit, that should be the end goal. Then you have to trust that their reaction, whatever it is, is genuine. And there will be people who love what they see. There will be people who won't. You are very lovable, even if insecure. It's just important that you're in a position to trust others when they tell you they accept you and think you're awesome.
I like being alone & it took years before I was okay with saying this, even to myself. 2 of my jobs require a lot of interaction & I'm fuqqing exhausted by it. If there was someone waiting when I got home I'd lose my sh!t. I do, however, have an awesome dog!
That last post meme actually happened to me!! Me and my ex had a little disagreement because I struggled with one on one calls, I did them to make her happy but it was hard for me. A few days later our friendship group asked if anyone wanted to go in a group call and play a game, I joined in since I was about 8 of us playing so I didn’t really need to talk, my gf at the time got pissy at me for this and messaged me saying “we need to talk” I immediately hopped off the group call and replied…she stayed on the call and proceeded to stay on for a couple of hours, meanwhile I was riddled with anxiety worried I had upset her or did something wrong, we broke up not long after that, it wasn’t the reason we broke up but it was definitely the deciding factor for me that made me realise I had lost feelings.
Communication is important in a relationship, neither me or my ex were good at it but for a healthy relationship to work people need to talk, talk and not argue or get shitty at each other
I don't think asking "Would you date yourself?" is going to mean you're a catch if you say yes or that you're undateable on a no.
For example I'll never say yes to that question even if I become a musclehunk with a giant salary and the next Einstein, cause simply I'm just not my type.
Full beard, body hair and a top.
Unless I bathe in Nair every month or so AND change my LITERAL ORIENTATION that will not change and I don't think it's a healthy expectation to set.
Also, you would be surprised what kind of people will find you attractive or even unattractive over something you would deem to be the exact opposite.
Missed the point entirely...i think intentionally to avoid the answer to the "actual" underlying question. I would guess, no, you wouldnt tolerate your traits in a partner, and that is why you answered by avoiding the actual question with semantic garbage.
The point is to imagine a person who is like you, and then imagine if you were someone else, is that person worth going out with?
@@AaronHendu Nah dude, clearly the question was if i am gay for myself.
But i am straight, so no, because no homo
/s
I just appreciate your input and takes in stuff, Robin. 😊
I want to add onto the section of "learn to love yourself." While i don't 100% agree with those sentiments, I do share similar advice. I give the advice to people of "focus on yourself and you'll be surprised by love." I give this advice because the people not normally good with finding a partner in my circles are often desperate to the degree that they assume a lover will fix all their problems. It will not. I was and am the same way. I'm not good with relationships historically. However, every time I set aside looking for someone to focus on myself, I've been my best self. Happy, charismatic, passionate, and willing to try new things. All of these are great for finding someone, so when I wasn't focused on the search, I tended to stumble into a relationship that changed me fundamentally, regardless of if it worked out or not. I don't aim to be dismissive. I just intend to share tips that worked for a fellow person who isn't great at putting myself out there normally.
The "nobody will love you til you love yourself" bs is a complete misquote. I cant remember whats actually said but the translation is that youll never believe that anyone loves you until you believe that youre worth being loved. The only person who can convince you that youre worth being loved... is you. Or your friend if they do a clever.
"How often are men unaware women are flirting with them"
Yesterday I watched a video with Robin literally reading about a guy who was gunna get lllaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiddddd. Neither the poster nor Robin realized how fervently that woman wanted to jump the OP's bones.
Love the minute of silence at the end
I would absolutely date myself if we are considering character and not looks. I always try my best to be nice to people, try to communicate when I don't like something or like something, the only problem would be I am too shy to make the first move so we'd be stuck in a loop lmao
I was waiting that last minute like it was an old album with a hidden song at the end
"Fifty-Bifty!" 🤣
that first one is just funny to me. i think i would've gone along and bombard him with even more absurd food questions
please do this sub more often, its so pleasant to listen to in the background
i was having the worst day and you posted, thank you❤️
first dude's definitely dating the stew
As a woman, when I was dating before finding my now partner, I NEVER let a man pay for anything. My biggest fear was that he’d try and use that against me as a way to coax me into something I wasn’t comfortable. I’ve had it happen to friends and knew it wasn’t going to me. My partner and I wound up making a game of it while we were dating but not exclusive yet. We’d race to the counter at the movies to buy drinks and popcorn or sneak off to pay the bill at dinner. I only started letting my boyfriend pay me after we were exclusive for a while and I treat him just as much. And even now, we race to treat the other. We now know that we are both the type of people who love to spoil their loved ones! 7:16
god i love emkay.
....TH-cam tells me I can translate this comment to English.... and it becomes 'good in love emkay'😂
the first guy heard about the dude who was using stew to get girls to go home with him and his success and tried to replicate it but very badly
@RobinVA 2:40 I live in the LA area. You are an LA 9. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
OH MY GODS
that guy took the stew dating advice too literal
As an aro ace would not recommend
My interests certainly constitute my ideal… I need someone else intensely into random academic subjects, solid ambition, and politics, but I want more financial stability.
I wish everyone would ask before kissing someone for the first time
Asking for consent, wether that is in a kissing Situation or something more advanced is not only not a turnoff, it is a huge turn on actually. It shows that you can appreciate boundaries and won't overstep them and it is a huge green flag. Also it doesn't have to be "Can I kiss you?". "I would really like to kiss you right now" or something along those lines is also a great way of doing it. It's not directly asking, but you give the other person a chance to say no if they don't want to and at the same time you let them know that you like them. They don't say anything indicating they don't want to, go for it.
The stew guy was totally at fault. It's like he was expecting her to be a gourmand, even though the average person probably couldn't even name all four cheeses in their macaroni.
Either look for a foodie, or don't get upset when they can't answer your food obsessed questions.
Issues like Curvy vs overweight are so subjective. I feel that if you are that worried about it just ask for people to give you their numerical weight so that people don't have to try to assume your standard for overweight.
I find this post hilarious because he has good points and being approached does happen, even reluctantly lol and giving a nerdy shy guy a chance is the best. Also with the inexperienced aspect. Been married for 10 years together for 13 years. All because his sister made him ask for my number after a brief but pleasant chat while I was at work. And I gave him a chance to prove to his sister he could get a girls number.
Oh wow, I rambled:
TLDR:
I'm autistic (AFAB), take niceness as flirting, correct myself in my head, and then self confidence issues take over making me think no one is EVER actually flirting
Robin talking around the 19-minute mark, feels just like me. I'm not a man, so I'm not assuming people aren't into me because of that reason- I assume no one could be into me because I have self esteem issues, am autistic, and assume that I'm reading the situation the wrong way.
A lot of time, I THINK I'm being flirted with, and I flat out push that thought out of my head, not acknowledging it. Because anytime someone is nice to me I think they might like me or are flirting- probably due to trauma and not understanding social cues as well as others. Every single time my brain thinks "They are flirting" or "They like me", I tell myself no, because "that would be impossible".
It's a weird back and forth, and because of how my brain takes everything as flirting or romantic- and then me consciously rejecting and reversing what my brain thinks because I know that logically not everyone being nice would be flirting.
I don't think I'll ever be able to actually tell and break that "Are they flirting? No.. not flirting? They can't like me, can't be flirting" cycle.. unless someone blatantly says they are flirting with and like me.
I made the first move with my husband. He kept making himself available, but he wasn’t picking up on my hitting on him. I kept inviting him over, but he never made a move. So one night I went to give him a hug goodbye and snuck a kiss on the lips. Just to make it known I felt the same way. I should’ve or could’ve asked permission, but I felt like he was giving me all the signs. And he was.
15:54 Robin's built in auto correct took over there 💀
to be honest being an "LA 2" sounds like a great compliment 😂
Boys, girls, enbies, they finally did it! They finally gave Robin something nice to read!🎉
I wonder if the stew thing was a play to try to get them back to his apartment because of that tumblr post about the guy who says "I have stew at home" to get girls back to his place lol
0:44
OH MY GOD HE SAW THE POST ABOUT SOMEONE USING STEW AS A POINT OF INTEREST AND TRIED TO FUCKIN YOINK IT
THE MAD LAD
Great video as always keep it up!
Okay, I know they don't mean "Looks JUST like you", but... a friend of mine stumbled across a model several years ago who looked EXACTLY like me, but blond and male. His face structure, eyes, EVERYTHING about this mans face looked like me. Except that I also look exactly like my mother, so while everyone else was just "Wow, this man looks EXACTLY like you!" what I saw was "Huh. That half-naked twink looks like a younger version of my mother."
So I don't think I'd be okay with dating someone who looks that much like me.
I don't know if its true but I heard that someone else who thinks that knows the stew guy (or at least knows a guy that does the same) say that "the stew" is actually his move to get laid. Most people like stew (I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT) and most people here that he's making a stew and seems to be passionate about food so he probably does a mean stew and chances are whomever he's dating haven't got stew in a while so the expected response is that his date will be automatically inclined to go home with him just to get some stew. It's his way to "guarantee" taking the date back to his place even if the date would have otherwise been inclined not to go with him the first time meeting him. He thinks women might say no to sex but not to a good homecoked stew. Failing at the other move he knows how to pull most be infuriating so it explains why he seemed frustrated.
I would have reacted the same way OP did but according to some people we are the minority
I'll share an unusual oblivious to being hit on story. When I was in uni I shared a class with a girl who I found hilarious. We always sat together and chatted and joked and generally had a good time. One week she mentioned she had no-one to eat lunch with at the main campus hub and casually inquired as to my plans. I had been thinking about getting a burrito from an off-campus place all morning and said so. She looks disappointed but we went our seperate ways, it wasn't until halfway through my burrito that it occurred to me she was asking me to lunch. Beating myself up all week over my obvious stupidity I waiting till our next class and asked if she still didn't have anyone to eat lunch with, even apologised for blowing her off before. She answered yes and as we ate lunch she kept chatting and she told me all about her boyfriend.... so yeah I was a double moron. Sometimes (almost always) people aren't hitting on you. At least in my case. Still friends with her because she is still a fun person to joke with. But yeah, it's just safer to assume people aren't flirting with you.
I think when it comes to dating, one thing for me has retained with me and that is that losing that love can happen and that's scary cause that means change. But to try to fix a relationship by yourself and such could lead to the end so communicate and if your heading into new ones like a good ship the crew needs all members to participate. Keep in mind your mental state and remember you don't have to date, working on yourself to date is valid and you are valid.
Sorry for the run on sentence. I was falling asleep while I was writing this.
22:06
It’s taught in all sorts of churches/Bible studies/christian books/etc in the US, so that might explain it.
The ruler twang censor has me in tears 😂
Well? Stew is awesome!!!!!
Yes
"Is it a turn-off to ask a girl if I can kiss her?"
HELL no, that shit's a turn-on, especially if done right. Lean in, look lustfully into her eyes and say, "I really wanna kiss you right now." Oh. My. God. 💓
I can foresee several situations where that would go poorly.
is anyone gonna talk abt the solid 20 seconds of silence at the end??
I dated a bi-polar woman with PTSD who was also an alcoholic. Yep, the sex was incredible. Nope, I couldn't handle the constant drama. It seems like a lot of fun for about a month. I'll leave it at that. Stay away from the psychos, everyone! Peace!
Ok, so the first one was definitly inspiret by the redid post about the guy, who would pick up girls at bars by casually mentioning, that he had stew at home.
Co-dependency is like neuro-receptors don't engage without another person, a sufferer might not know the extent of the problem, only that the problem is that they're alone: its worse than that though, romance, work and personal life all have to have a hand; solitary-condition of co-dependent is revving in neutral, apathy.
The last guy I dated, I let him know my intent when he walked in my office and I said, "step into my parlor days the spider to the fly". He said, "what?" Me: get in here. He walked in smiling
OOF, this one hit hard, I was having this conversation with someone recently. It's almost Christmas, and it will just be me at the cat (Not that I'm unhappy with that). I am a mid 30's person, single, and generally okay about it, But more so often than not, I begin a lovely romance but they have been brief. I'd like to have something more long-term and I'm convinced that's not ever going to happen the older I get....maybe the more bitter and jaded I get.
The minute of black screen silence after "not cool to say 'we need to talk' and then not talk for hours on end" is kinda uncomfortable, honestly.
First story kinda reminds me of a post that robin read in a previous video in a different subreddit. This guy would consistently get girls to come over by talking about stew. This might be the same guy, but probably not.
Anecdote: Online-dating, she looked kinda cute in the profile-pic and lived only 1 hour away. So I skipped the texting and just asked her for a date. Turned out: 1. She was 10 years older than in her pic. 2. Short and broadly built. 3. Leopard-print pants. 4. Her hobbies are alcohol and parties. 5. She told me how she hates learning new skills at her job, because that means more responsibility.
the last 57 seconds are my favorite
is anyone gonna talk abt the solid minute of silence at the end??
no
Fifty Bifty is my new saying 😂
The trail cam cryptid picture you showed was an LA 10 Robin
My mom told me this and it helped me a lot and helped a friend of hers too: you can't give someone love you don't have.
Learn to live yourself before you love someone else and the right person will come along. Kinda like having a kid, do it because you have love to share.
Healthy is attracted to healthy, people who want to hurt you can't/ won't hurt a strong person who knows their worth and won't put up with shit.
I know that's hard. I still struggle with it even despite being with someone I plan to one day marry. But. Strong boundaries are my self respect and love. And he respects them, so now, we grow together!❤
The guy at 1st is a food lover
“would you date yourself?” no i’m aroace and it would be really weird dating a clone of yourself
Honestly I wouldn’t date myself. Not because of an overly high standard I’m just kinda loud and obnoxious and hate myself. I wouldnt date someone I hate.