I'm on board. This is exactly correct. My father, 2 silver star Vietnam Vet, started me on pills when I went to live with him in Belmont, CA. This was in late 90's. I went to a private middle in Santa Barbara and did well. It was a nurturing environment, only 85 students back then. My friends and teachers knew me well You carry the weight of the world on your shoulders , they'd say, or you're an 'old soul'. When I started public high school I could not settle into a groove. I just felt everything too much, and unbeknownst to me I had developed improper ways of dealing with stress, like smoking weed and drinking beer. My grades ate shit in short time; I tested out via the proficiency and started SBCC at 16-years-old. Raised by a single mom who worked full-time data entry for Kinko's and lived with clinical depression and drank to ease her mind (not to mention she's a massive Bob Dylan gypsy type), left me isolated in my thoughts and confused hearing her sobbing at night to herself. I this is when I started developing my own depression. I'm actually going through withdrawal now and having a difficult time trying to get to any kind of point here...... But the point is, I learned to smoke weed to forget about my home life. When I drank the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders. I could speak freely and enjoy myself being in the moment. I tried living with my dad and he just gave me pills and was never around. I haven't seen him in 13 years. You know I mentioned that I'm in Thailand now. My wife is Thai and is a medical doctor; we've been married 5 years. I have a daughter and another one coming. I just stopped writing and listened further into the video. You took a 'hostage.' Jesus, what a way to explain what I've done. My mind is scrabbled. Anyway, thanks for the vids. They're affording me the opportunity of self-reflection without a massive burden of guilt. Thank you.
Thank you so much for sharing. 22 years on Tramadol... Suffering was ...is...out of ball park. Im trying to get off slowly. Went from 15 pills a day to 2... Not there yet... I feel condemned about the time i lost. Its very hard ...very hard to do. God is pulling me through though.
It took me a while to find you!!. I saw a video looking for tramadol withdrawal. It think 4 years ago. At least this is 2 years ago. I have had tragedy upon tragedy in my life so I don't know why or how I'm still here! I dread!!!!! Going to sleep because I have night terrors. Then I hate to wake up because of anxiety. 😢 after my son died 5 years ago, I was never the same. I was pumped with 4 different antidepressants, benzo and tramadol for degenerative disc disease. As of today I am off all antidepressants. I am now in the middle of tramadol withdrawals, day 5. I was taking 300 MG a day for 2.5 years. Will I ever feel better again? I am alone, in my 50's. No family around and scared to death. I eat like shit. Very depressed and don't even want to get out of bed. BTW my "doctor" is 24! Help? I'm a nurse that left my job. Took fmla
I am 42 years old. I was an alcoholic from 15 till I quit alcohol at 28. I slowly got addicted to codeine. The codeine is being treat with buprenorphine (so counter peoductive, but thats where I'm at) and valium. I finished my taper from benzos about 5 weeks ago, and the fear, anxiety, paranoia are so dibilitating that its making me utterly depressed. My children (4 girls; 18, 13, 9 and 4 years old) are missing out on so much due to me feeling too scared to leave the home. Will I ever recover from this constant anxiety that is preventing me from even taking my children out of our front door?
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Thank you so much for sharing, Phil!! This is so wonderful. You’re going to help so many people!
I'm on board. This is exactly correct. My father, 2 silver star Vietnam Vet, started me on pills when I went to live with him in Belmont, CA. This was in late 90's. I went to a private middle in Santa Barbara and did well. It was a nurturing environment, only 85 students back then. My friends and teachers knew me well You carry the weight of the world on your shoulders , they'd say, or you're an 'old soul'. When I started public high school I could not settle into a groove. I just felt everything too much, and unbeknownst to me I had developed improper ways of dealing with stress, like smoking weed and drinking beer. My grades ate shit in short time; I tested out via the proficiency and started SBCC at 16-years-old. Raised by a single mom who worked full-time data entry for Kinko's and lived with clinical depression and drank to ease her mind (not to mention she's a massive Bob Dylan gypsy type), left me isolated in my thoughts and confused hearing her sobbing at night to herself. I this is when I started developing my own depression. I'm actually going through withdrawal now and having a difficult time trying to get to any kind of point here...... But the point is, I learned to smoke weed to forget about my home life. When I drank the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders. I could speak freely and enjoy myself being in the moment. I tried living with my dad and he just gave me pills and was never around. I haven't seen him in 13 years.
You know I mentioned that I'm in Thailand now. My wife is Thai and is a medical doctor; we've been married 5 years. I have a daughter and another one coming. I just stopped writing and listened further into the video. You took a 'hostage.' Jesus, what a way to explain what I've done. My mind is scrabbled. Anyway, thanks for the vids. They're affording me the opportunity of self-reflection without a massive burden of guilt. Thank you.
Thank you so much for sharing. 22 years on Tramadol... Suffering was ...is...out of ball park. Im trying to get off slowly. Went from 15 pills a day to 2... Not there yet... I feel condemned about the time i lost. Its very hard ...very hard to do. God is pulling me through though.
You're just so real!
It took me a while to find you!!. I saw a video looking for tramadol withdrawal. It think 4 years ago. At least this is 2 years ago. I have had tragedy upon tragedy in my life so I don't know why or how I'm still here! I dread!!!!! Going to sleep because I have night terrors. Then I hate to wake up because of anxiety. 😢 after my son died 5 years ago, I was never the same. I was pumped with 4 different antidepressants, benzo and tramadol for degenerative disc disease. As of today I am off all antidepressants. I am now in the middle of tramadol withdrawals, day 5. I was taking 300 MG a day for 2.5 years. Will I ever feel better again? I am alone, in my 50's. No family around and scared to death. I eat like shit. Very depressed and don't even want to get out of bed. BTW my "doctor" is 24! Help? I'm a nurse that left my job. Took fmla
You r th best Miss you.
I am 42 years old. I was an alcoholic from 15 till I quit alcohol at 28. I slowly got addicted to codeine. The codeine is being treat with buprenorphine (so counter peoductive, but thats where I'm at) and valium. I finished my taper from benzos about 5 weeks ago, and the fear, anxiety, paranoia are so dibilitating that its making me utterly depressed. My children (4 girls; 18, 13, 9 and 4 years old) are missing out on so much due to me feeling too scared to leave the home. Will I ever recover from this constant anxiety that is preventing me from even taking my children out of our front door?
Yes it does get better, but it needs patience and time.
Thanks
Awesome!!!:)
Great to see you so happy!