Inferior Se is a HUGE INFJ giveaway
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 ก.ย. 2024
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Shopping is like bank robbery. You walk in, grab what you need, and get the hell out as fast as possible.
Yes, I'm always keen to exit the supermarket once past the tills, but find most people walk really slowly like they are in a daydream lol. I want to make progress because I am bored and not where I want to be.
And then realize you forgot something because you rushed to get out 😂
yeah I'm not a browser, shopping for me is always intentional with a constant listing in my head to remember everything i intend to get so i can get out as quickly as a can
I am exactly like that.
I can always physically feel my energy slowly depleting in any social setting I'm in. Sometimes I go ham on my Se and go all out with activities, ignoring my battery altogether to try to achieve as much progress as I can, and the moment I give myself any room to rest, a cascade of exhaustion overwhelms me almost instantaneously and I need a couple of days to recover :')
I think a good personal example for me would be driving, the more i have to think about something and be actively present the more i get incredibly stressed, i used to find driving exhausting as i was always anticipating what other cars would do, what i needed to do and all the potential issues that could occur (i need to know the parking situation prior haha), i found that driving with a GPS on even to a destination i knew how to get to would dramatically reduced my stress, oddly and ironically i also find if i can talk to someone, say a passenger and take my mind of driving, the more competent i feel as a driver. the more routine the experience, the easier it is to let go of SE and slip nicely and comfy into Ni
i find that with walking to places too, if i know where I'm going, i sort of slip into my mind palace, get 'lost' in thought and suddenly kick back in the environment and kind of wonder how i got there
Yes I'd hate a job that requied driving all day.
I love driving, as long as it is not in a city or town. Open highways are fun for me.
@@peaceridge Yeah I've got used to more it recently, and enjoyed driving through the night a few weeks back, its nice to have the road to yourself as the sunrises.
but it was a constant effort on my part, i actively challenged myself to overcome my anxiety
Yes! For me the best driving experience is no passengers + active noise cancelling headphones (for music or an ad-free podcast) + GPS + making sure the air con is set to the exact right temperature 😎
Same ❤
Online shopping has been my lifesaver 😂
Quite a few thoughts here. Firstly, I think that an intrinsic belief in conceptualizing the inferior function as qualitatively inferior is a limiting mind set that will inevitably constrain the process of individuation. In most cases where Jung describes functions he’s giving extreme examples of non-individuated persons, which means a complete imbalance of cognitive functions.
That being said, I prefer to say that functions act in pairs, so in the case of INFJs there is ni-ti and fe-se. This is the model provided by CPT. What this means is that the true weak spot (we have to admit that limitations exist in order to grow beyond them) is in the passive usage of the fourth and seventh functions, which in the case of the INFJ, is Se-Te. So it’s not in the active usage of Se-Te, that is production or implementation (most INFJs are not actually couch potatoes) but instead in the absorption of novel mechanistic information.
So I can imagine for you Ren, that any exposure to this new world of interior design must be terribly draining as you’re constantly taking in tons and tons of new data that has no way of being implemented in your dominant knowledge bank (I assume it revolves around philosophy and typology) and to add on top of that, this exposure has lasted for multiple days? No wonder you’re tired! Let me know if I’m off anywhere but these have been my contemplations.
Really a very insightful take, Albury. I think there may be a lot in what you are saying (via CPT) because, if I think of my experience e.g. in a theme park versus a huge tool shop, the level of overwhelm is incomparably higher in the latter case. I think a case could be made that this overload, which touches the deepest blind spot, has to do with the demand that the tools make not only as objects of my attention at the moment I experience them (via extroverted perception, say) but also as near-future appliances that I will have to know how to implement and organise through an executive function (extroverted judgement). In the case of the experience in the theme park where the demands on extroverted judgement impinge far less, if at all, there is some sensory overload but it can be managed much better and it is clearly less likely to induce a catatonic state in me. Anyway, I thought of this comparison because I think it is informative and I have even recorded a video about this, which for now is scheduled to go out on Monday. Be on the lookout! : )
@@RensRoom I’ll be on the look-out! Thank you for your response (:
I find driving through cities super stressful. The 1-way systems and complex junctions are something which I avoid like the plague, and can easily cause me to go the wrong way. If I have to do it, I'll plan the trip online well in advance.
It's a great discussion! Left to my own devices I'll coddle my sensory sensitivities. I won't set foot in a store unless I need something, or I won't go somewhere crowded by myself. But if you mix a little Fe in, I'll get a lot braver. Like if a dear friend really wants someone to go shopping with them, I'll go, and probably have fun doing it. I've gone to more music shows this year thanks to my close friends inviting me and making me feel more comfortable in a crowd. I like the interesting strangers I meet when I go places with my outgoing friends even though I'd never talk to that stranger if I were out alone. Physical activities too, I kayaked for the first time this year. I was very bad at it but had a great time. I'm really grateful that my friends get me out of my comfort zone in the most comfortable way possible lol
I have never liked shopping, but there have been times through the years when I've liked to explore and look at things that interest me. I don't really get overwhelmed once I am engrossed in examining objects and shut out my surroundings. I don't like the other activity around me. When I first got married, we used to go shopping together of necessity. I had the worst time in malls and could not stay long. She was so good, and when I'd say, "I have to get out of here now," she always agreed immediately. I didn't know anything about personalities then. The physical world is a little overstimulating, and I can't take much of it, but I love nature and land- and seascapes. I am obsessively interested in identifying the flora and fauna around me, learning birdsongs and knowing what all the trees, shrubs, and plants are. I think part of what helps me cope best with the world is having control of my interactions with it. If I can control where I'm going and how much time I spend there, I am fine. When I am tethered to other people and have to follow their lead, I get antsy. I think that's accurate. I've been thinking about it since watching your video.
One thing I have noticed is when I get home after physical shopping, I'm keen to get things sorted (like food put away) so I can relax. This can mean I try and do several things at once, with obvious problems lol
Before shopping, I must have an objective. If it's furniture or house decoration, I must have an idea of the style or 'look' or 'concept' that I want. This helps me to filter out a lot of noise or 'unnecessary options' when I go into shopping mode. So, when I actually step into a shopping space, I use my inferior SE to just be aware of what's around me and to see quickly what fits the idea of what I have in mind (too gaudy? Out! Too small? Out! Etc).
NE-Si style of exploration can be a bit overwhelming for me and I can feel like I'm drowning in choices wheniever someone tries to proliferate my choices instead of narrowing them down. So when I'm on a mission to close things off, I try to be prepared, otherwise, as many have said, shopping can be depleting or tiring.
So, either I have an idea of the themes of what I want or don't want, or else I just take my time and go slowly - Do i really need to get so much stuff in one go? Why not just get the basics and slowly fill up the home as time goes by and whenever I feel like it.
As someone mentioned - online shopping is the best sometimes. Less walking around in circles and you can hone in on the specifics of the object that you want. Less walking around means more time to spend at home doing the Ni stuff you like.
Socionics shows INFJs have 1/4 dimensionality in Se information.
But they put 3/4 dimensionality energy (effort) into Se.
So the inferior function is low in information but high in energy.
Shopping has always been too stimulating for me. I think I handle it better now than I used to, marginally, and only because I have awareness of my struggle, and have gone to therapy for strategies to cope with it.
When I was a kid I would get so overwhelmed that I would get severe migraines and be sick to my stomach. As an older teen/young adult I would have panic attacks. Now I get stressed and disoriented but am able to catch it before it gets too much, and take steps to ground myself.
This past weekend I had to go shopping in a big department store for school supplies for my 2 children, with long lists of hyper-specific items from their teachers. About halfway through I felt like I was losing my ability to read and think. Thankfully my husband (ESTJ) was with me to help remind me where different things were in the store and to find some of the stuff quicker so we could get out of there.
I don't have nearly as much trouble in small shops or online shopping. It's still taxing but not overwhelming.
I have to know exactly what I want before I go shopping, I really don’t like it. I’m so glad we can browse online first. The only thing I have ever liked shopping for was music.
Ren is posting like he’s running a marathon this month 😃🙌🏼
Broadly agree with video but there are some variables. Supermarket shopping is quite different when there are few people around (e.g. very early in the morning when I like to go.) in that case I can wander around the aisles in a pleasant daydream- but a busy supermarket is death to the soul. Another variable is your pre-set feeling for the objects - a giant antiques store is great for me because the objects are nearly all interesting (or likely to be.) in that case the overload is kind of fun.
I took 17 years to furnish my home, other than sofas, and a bed, just improvised, buying new pieces when I found something I loved. Bought mostly antiques and second hand and have a happy, cozy environment that was acquired with a sense of adventure and not stress over time. Can't imagine doing it all at once. Have fun hunting slowly!! Empty spaces and walls will fill up soon enough over time....
I may have more developed Se for an INFJ. Since I first took the MBTI in my mid-20s, my test results were fairly balanced between N and S. I enjoy shopping and parties with people I know. This has increased since covid isolation drove me near crazy, and since I had two children; taking care of babies requires you to be pretty on top of your external sensing. It’s also worth noting that I did dance and music growing up; both activities require and develop body awareness. That said, I still experience a fair bit of fatigue after a sensing activity-it just takes a long time for me to notice that fatigue during the activity, and I don’t experience it negatively (assuming I’m given reasonable recharge time).
As an infj my SE developed by using again and again. I love shopping.
When I was shopping for a new kitchen with my mother, she pressured me to choose one way too quickly. I had to leave and take a round trip around the store and when I returned, I was already relaxed and knew which one to choose.
Very interesting, thanks! Still trying to work out my type, but sensory overload is a factor for me.
I do enjoy shopping until I don’t enjoy shopping. 😂 Modern shopping environments are so sensorily exhausting. I especially react to the overwhelming use of fragrances and multiple soundtracks and advertising sounds- sometimes all in the same shop! Trouble is, I am a creative person and like to see what is available and plan purchases. I find myself - more and more- shopping in more quiet environments like opportunity shops (aka thrift shops). This also realigns with other values, such as reduce, reuse and recycle! 😊
It's been almost 2 years since my home is finished and I live here. Although I was very hyped by the idea of buying an apartment, I cannot count how many times I was dreaming of a miracle having everything finished by the next day I open my eyes in the morning. Those 2 years working on it was like a nightmare for me, going from shops to shops, deciding on sensory things which I don't really care about, it was awful even though I craved having my home. [INTJ]
I hate shopping and have to psych myself up for it. If I have to be in a store much more than an hour, I hit a wall and start shutting down. I have always been like this and don't think it's gotten any better as I've gotten older. But there are two exceptions - bookstores and IKEA (for whatever reason, IKEA is fun for me to explore, though I am still overstimulated by the end, I enjoy it a bit more!)
I go when it’s the least amount of people and alone, then I dont have to explain why I want something (which can be very sublime reasons) and can buy what I ”need” to buy by intuition. And I actually enjoy it because it simplify my life, make it more beautiful, healthier etc..but it is only in my perspective of course. 😂
At 62 the issue of extreme overstimulation in busy areas remains. Very difficult🤷♀️
Hi, Ren. Thank you for this video. It once again confirms my type.
Ever since I was a child, I hated shopping.
I resonate with wanting the end result without having to go shopping. No matter what kind of shopping, it drains me.
Soon, I will have the ability to order your books. I look forward to some good, winter reading when I have time. 😊
Onine shopping, by contrast, must be much easier/less stressful?
I do online shopping as often as possible, including grocery shopping. Yes, less stressful for sure.
The only shops I can do are book shops. Other customers tend to be silent. Everything else is online.
For me it’s not as straight forward as having to go be around big buildings, crowds of people and being overstimulated. It’s about set and setting for me. I can go to a big musical festival for 4 days where almost everyone is happy and we have a common interest, can socialize and have a great time because the vibe there is so much different than the regular world. But send me to a music festival where I don’t like the music, and it’s a scene I’m not familiar with, I’ll stress out in a matter of minutes. Similar with going to a sporting event when I don’t really like sports, or having to go to a school function for my children where parents are there and I feel required to speak with them but we have no similar interests. I feel as I’m being judged, it is incredibly draining.
Ren is posting like he’s running a marathon this month 😃🙌🏼 I went shopping with my sister this past weekend, expecting to grab only what was needed, and get out of the store as soon as possible. We make it to the line, and I’m jumping with joy, sweating to get out the store. The moment we’re ready to check out and go, there seems to be a weird call in my sister’s head that says “I think we should get more things so we don’t have to come back later” ; and this absolutely puts me in self-destruct mode😒 the stimulation is extraordinarily overwhelming (ppl, the extended “list”, the energy)…it’s something I dispise to a Tee, but I do it for my ISFJ twin..
Honestly, the older I've gotten the more I enjoy going shopping. Don't get me wrong, sometimes it does feel quite bothersome and tedious, especially with the amount of time you sometimes have to put aside for it. But I guess I like it more because its on my own accord. As a kid, you go with your parents, your aunt, etc., it was somebody else's task. But now I go on my own with something in mind, whether it be groceries or clothes. It may become exciting to look for ingredients to a dish I've been craving, or a little something a friend might enjoy being gifted. Are there days wheree I just wish to magically get all the stuff I need without stepping into the store and havin to navigate through all those people? Yes, lol. It's just I find the whole process a lot less boresome.
Great video Ren!
'Oppressive Overload' you said it. Concerts, malls, parties anyplace full of people makes me want to leave ASAP.
So no cure? I've often thought how great it would be to have a pill that would make extroverted world stuff easy like it seems for so many others.
I can find shopping enjoyable, but it is usually under the circumstances that I already have a good idea of what I want to get. Like if I were buying a shelf, I would only look and consider ones that would fit the space I measured beforehand and typically a style that I think would fit the space.
Large shopping areas can still be overwhelming (ex. IKEA). And if sorting through items garner too few results, I also end up drained and ready to end my shopping trip.
I’m not the first person to post a comment about this topic, but driving is just dreadful for me. I just don’t understand how people enjoy doing it. I see it as necessary to function in the modern world (at least in most of the US, where I live), but I would skip it in a heartbeat every time if I could.
Hi eveyone. I am 51 and still hate shopping. I may enjoy searching for the right stuff but usually start my search online to minimise the real life exposure to shopping which I usually do it just after the opening when other people are still taking breakfast 😂
I thought it was because i am HSP and not because I am INFJ. Of course it may be that many INFJs are also HSP, which confuses things to understand what causes what.
Good to see you posting, Isabelle!
I sometimes conceptualize extraverted functions as something akin to radar or sonar. Which can be high or low definiton, sophisticated or crude, delicate or coarse.
I had an ISTJ roommate who was baffled that I wouldn't notice a coffee ring on a counter which I could tell bothered him on an almost constitutional level. Conversely, he had a hard time picking up when he was being insensitive or callous to cashiers and waiters.
And how I sort of reconciled myself to that is that his ability to pick up on other people's (especially strangers) feeling states was very crude and undeveloped as to be almost non-existent (No Fe in the stack).
And for myself, I am able to see coffee rings on countertops (inferior Se), but it takes an absolutely embarrassing amount of cognitive processing power to consciously do so. It drains me so fast that it's almost laughable.
As a primary intuitive that sort of granular hi-res detail is of such little consequence to my conception of reality that it doesn't register whereas (my perception of) other people's feeling-states often register with a vividness and immediacy that often feel more concrete and 'real' than my own emotions.
What about INFP, INTP or any other type with unconscious Se? I agree with sensory overload and INXJ, for certain. But other types which are more numerous or less uncommon, experience this as well.
Also, there is without question the fact that function development is not, one size fits all within a type. I do think that notion is an example of Inferior Se (or by any other name, less developed Se) at work. INXJ’s, self-included can only conceptualize accurately, given their real life exposure to data.
With respect, much of this video is well meaning conjecture based on inadequate knowledge of the subject outside of your personal experience.
Wait. Ren is married?! 🥺😭💔
Yes!