CHILD FREE AND OVER 50 // Do They Regret It??
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ก.ย. 2024
- Do middle aged child free individuals regret their decision? I'm often told I will regret my choice to not have kids when I'm older so let's talk about it!
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Child free women are often told that they will regret their decision as they get older so I decided to look into the truth about not having children. Choosing life without children can come with some regrets, but is this always the case? In today's video I look into child free after 50 interviews that were done a few years ago do determine if there's any truth to this thought. Let's figure out if the majority of child free individuals will regret not having children.
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Do you regret not having kids?
So far I don't
No regrets!
Sometimes. When I see videos of small children being extremely cute and sweet- yes. When I get to sleep in on my days off because I don’t have kids- no, lol! Thanks for this video and reminding people that not having kids is just as normal as having them.😀
Few regret
@@fixinfkinsandwiches6183 No it isn't
I wish people would realize that just because you have kids, that doesn't mean they will take care of you.
True story.
Exactly. And also it doesn’t guarantee that you won’t be lonely. A lot of people sadly move on and barely visit their older parents. Kids are humans at the end of the day, and human beings are not predictable.
It actually seems to me that people who have kids are more lost and vulnerable in old age. It's like they became complacent with the idea that their kids or spouse would care for them in old age, so they never developed an independent, self-reliant way of functioning in their lives. Even if your kids or spouse can care for you, they likely can't be with you all the time. An older relative of mine was so helpless, she couldn't even ask for drops for her eyes at the care facility she was in. She had to wait for a visiting family member to do it for her. She always had that personality where she just couldn't ask for things or do things for herself.
@@automnejoy5308 i feel what your saying but it depends on the parent and child tbh in my case its different my dad and i have a good relationship and understanding most of the time he does his own thing traveling the world so depends really
Actually I'm 31 not financially stable and a jobless graduate ... I don't manage to take care of my parents and neither my two siblings .... so my parents have to work to take care of themselves more reasons I'll be childless ....
If you ever regret not having kids, at *basically* any age, you can adopt, become a foster parent or volunteer/mentor kids in need. Just saying. 🤷♀️ This is why I’m not afraid of being child free and potentially regretting it - if I ever get to the point I regret not having kids, I still have options.
Very true.
Agreed. We have so many kids in the system you're bound to find a kid that even looks like you, so that's a perk to the world's overpopulation problem.
Depends where you live. In my country only a married couple or a couple who have a contract to cohabitate can adopt but one must be under the age of 50 and it can take several years to be approved.
I'm almost 60 and SOOO glad to be childfree. Too many times I see people my age financially bailing out their grown kids and/or raising grandkid's. So much for " but who will take care of you when you're older?"
Good point!
I like you
Bob when they tell you so tell them 'due to the lack of having to finance children all the time I will probably have the money to hire the sexiest nurse ever to look after me" hahahahahaha well I think many deserve such answers as I find it rude to tell a person with no kids something like that
Lina Brown Yes! I’ve always thought this! If parents hadn’t spent so much money on children and often sacrificed getting further education and or job promotions to raise children; they could hire professionals. Even loving adult children don’t want to wipe their parents bottoms. Yes, they will do it but why burden them? All you need is good professionals to care for you and good friends to check up on you and keep you company.
My mother works at a retirement/hospice... she's always telling me on how the older folks were put there by their own sons and daughters. The really sad part is that they rarely visit them. Its never a guarantee that your kids will look out for you when you're older. Mang families have horrible relationships between their own children
Much respect to the childfree. Your potential children have avoided the suffering of life. No forced schooling, no work until old age, no getting old and then death. No child asks to be born.
That’s exactly why I don’t want kids. That and the environment. Life is suffering, it’s cruel to subject a child to that.
Biggest reason I’ll never have children. I find children to be annoying and draining, but the world being a fucked up place is another reason to not want to bring them
💯👏
Does that mean you hate your life? I thought being childfree is about enjoying life...
I am a 68 year old woman. Happily married for over 30 years and childfree Zero regrets. Our life is normal not extravagant. We love living clean and simple in a little house in the woods. Both of us are rather introverted but enjoy lots of hobbies and interests. Luckily we are both healthy and active and enjoying our life.
that is going to be me
This sounds like the dream! Except, in my case my partner and I would like to stay in the city to be closer to friends.
65 married 38 yrs never had kids, love it great retirement boat, cars , travel, wife still has a great bod from not having kids. No regrets
It’s important to note that most of the people who regretted not having kids actually WANTED kids and couldn’t have them. And many of the others put loneliness and lack of community in general as their main reason. I think most people, if they are sure and can cultivate a community, will be fine not having kids.
Very true. Having a community around you can make all the difference.
Do yoy mean people pretend somehow they don't want kids just because they xouldbt have them? I realised I didn't want kids during the process of trying to have them. I also realised I had let myself be so brainwashed from the whole of society and the concept that 'you have to have kids as everyone does the same'. I feel those who wanted them and couldn't have them feel depressed and don't jump suddenly to the childfree side just to show they don't mind.
Good point!
Not my case. I didnt want it before and i changed my mind and now it is too late
@@patriciav.1891 Is adoption an option for you? Is fostering to adopt an option?
I am 32 my wife is 37. Been married for 10 years in September. Both of us couldn't be happier being child free.
I'm 53, my husband is 47. We just had our 25th anniversary and we have zero regrets. I love our freedom and ability to do whatever we want. All the people who said we wouldn't last have pretty much all gotten divorced..most of them have kids. Makes me wonder if child free couples have a lower divorce rate than those with kids...
@@theMermaidRhonda hm that would be interesting for us to know.
@@thecelticdruid.6681 I couldn't disagree more. You get married because you love someone and want to be with him/her for the entrie life. On your marriage certificate it doesn't say marriage is the contract for having kids. If you want to have kids that's fine, go and have them, but don't make marriage sound like a cage. If you think love of your partner is not close to love of your child, don't marry her/him. If you get married for having kids, you are using marriage and your partner and that's not what marriage is meant for. Go have kid alone and that is also possible.
@@thecelticdruid.6681 uhm no.. Different religion different thing. In my religion, marriage is not a contract nor an oath to make each other breeding machines. Marriage is "man and woman being united in love "as the lord has ordained from the very first place in eden before the satan took it away. The marriage is blessed when the man and woman love each other and committed and united. It may or may not include children but the blessing counts when the man and woman respect each other.
I don’t regret being childfree.
Quit acting like you had a choice Trevor.
I'm 65 - I never liked kids and never had them. No regrets here at all.
I'm 34, at the age of 22 I had to step into my late Mom's shoes by taking care of my 3 siblings, the youngest sibling was only 5. I knew from then how expensive raising a child is. I'm still childfree, I'm not planning to have a child of mine. I'm okay really.. ❤️
That's a big role to fill!
We share a common background . Continued success!!
Sounds like my life currently. Being an older sister (of 3) solidified my choice of remaining child free at 20.
Yeah I’m the oldest of 11 kids and my mother is schizophrenic 😂 I love my siblings to death and love spending time with them. I’m 20 and the youngest sibling is 3. I’m married and have an amazing cat and dog and honestly, I’m doing great. My siblings and I visit each other couple times a week (I have to take turns with which kid, because there’s so many 😂) and watch so many movies and go on walks and I love it. Can’t wait for my future nieces and nephews too. I know I’ll never be alone and I don’t think I want any children of my own
my uncle broke down one evening wishing he had kids. the despair at old age is very real. the problem is that children no longer care about the elderly like in the generations past. married childfree couples today tend to be financially secure, well travelled, and usually in love with each other longer. there is also solace in knowing that you're not leaving a life behind to suffer this world. this is particularly the case if you've spent your childhood in cram schools, and couldn't really enjoy the early years in life.
There are so many things to consider before having kids and yes, I do think some people have regrets. And that goes both ways, not just for childfree people. 🙂
Healing from a dysfunctional childhood takes years. I chose not to have children and well, I ran out of time. As I've grown emotionally, spiritually, with self love and confidence, over the years, I know now that I would've been a good mother to my children. I had to spend the time learning to mother and nurture myself. At 56 years young, I am at peace with my decision. I have lots of love yet to give in the world.
I think I am in a smiliar situation
I don't have kids and I believe that it is very narcissistic to have kids as a safeguard against loneliness or for care in your elder years. You have kids because you have a great life you want to share with them no matter what they decide to do in return because you actually love them.
This is spot on!
63, retired , never had kids and no regrets at all. Use to hear people say that I needed to find a nice girl and start a family with. Well that reasoning is why I broke up with a couple of them over the years. They wanted kids but I didn't. They ended up struggling for years and ended up divorced and being single moms. Me I preferred antique cars over kids. I never thought once 40 years ago about someone taking care of me when I got older. Never entered my mind.
24, married, and scheduling my sterilization today! I am so excited to be assured that no kids will interrupt my life plans
I'm 55 and don't regret not having kids. It can be harder as you get older as mums become grandparents, and then they ask you if you have them. I don't need kids in my life. I like to have my lie ins and freedom to do what I want, when I want. I would get very bored being with kids or talking about kids. I am more of an animal person than a human person. I am still living my life and having adventures and don't want kids to stop my life.
I have always felt this way.
Animals are great company and we can definitely have a special bond with them.
I like you
Thanks. It is rare I get that komment lol @@gabiramir5796
Zero regrets here too! Celebrating 25 years of marriage and we are relieved 😅
56 and zero regrets. Every day I find a reason that I'm thankful to be child free. My hubby and I leave in a week to go to our vacation home. We have about half a dozen trips planned. My brother who has kids, is lucky if they get one vacation a year.
Thanks for sharing!!
Thanks to being childfree, I'm retiring at 34!!!
Edit: The way I'm able to do this is because I've been living on 30% of my income since 18(now 31). 3 years from now, I'll be living in the Dominican Republic. In the Dominican Republic, it's very cheap to retire early.
Wow, that's amazing! Way to go.
Your name 😅😅😅 love it!!!
@@nycsp I love the snippy snip.
@@nzburger If you start early, it's easy but takes sacrifice. I slept in my car for 5 years to save money. Because of that, I was able to save 115k in 5 years. In 3 years, I'll be up to 250k saved. 250k will bring me about $1200 a month in returns. Plus I'll be working a remote IT job. Keep in mind, I'll be living in the Dominican Republic so my expenses will be about $1500 a month.
If I was 18 right now and I could do it all over again, I would go to the military for 4 terms(16 years) then retire. If you go to the army for 16 years then retire(assuming you live in America), *on average* you'll be receiving $3,000 a month for the rest of your life. And that's just on average. If you move up and rank you'll make more.
So, had I went to the Army at the age of 18 and retired at 34, I would be able to receive a *minimum* of $3,000 a month for the rest of my life. That's DOUBLE the amount of money I need to live in the DR.
That’s awesome 👏🏾 👏🏾👏🏾
I truly appreciate you having this channel. I’m 37 with no kids. I do work with kids and help the community. That’s the way I give back to Society.
That's a great way to give back. So glad you are enjoying the channel:)
I'm only 26 but based on what I've seen in this chaotic and dark world we live in I'm glad to not be a parent since it already is stressful enough already in my full time job and when I'm not working I can simply just work on music and practice my djing skills. To be honest I cannot complain about my life so far and I'm grateful. 😊🙏🏻
It's so good to be in a happy place!
No regrets. I dodged a major bullet, had a serious boyfriend who wanted kids and I entertained the idea. Then he fell in love with someone else (he was really honest and actually classy about it) and then I reflected and realized it would have been a terrible mistake. Getting a bisalp surgery soon.
It's so important to have these discussions and I'm glad things are going in a good direction for you:)
I'm 37 and still get people asking me about kids when I'm older. I don't want kids and focus on other priorities, and can't believe people still say that to me. At what age do people stop thinking it's okay to recommend having kids? I"m almost 40 and people still say that's not too old to have kids!
Also, I've been with my husband for 15 years and we do not regret our decision.
I've wondered that myself...Maybe the 50's?!
I can get really mad about this. Why does anyone would want to trick someone in joining that "club"?! Maybe they're just regretting their own subscription? 😅😉
Wait...You’re 37? If that’s you in the picture then dang...You age like fine wine 🍷! People project, and if they think it’s odd for you not to have kids it’s probably because they feel odd not having them. You are really fortunate to have a partner that’s on the same wave link as you with regard to your decision. That’s awesome.
@@Kurbie1987 Yes indeed.🙈😂
As someone with kids, don't have kids. 37 is too old to start for the vast majority of the population.
Hi everyone
I'm nearly 56 been married 26 years no children and super happy. Everyone has their own choice and it's incredibly personal.
I think it's a brilliant you tube chanel as it speaks to what a lot of people have felt for many years. Well done and keep on telling your truth.
The number of childfree folks is increasing as people wake up to the fact that they actually do have a choice.
Thank you!
I’m 49 and I’ve never had a single regret. Just the opposite: I’m happier and more relieved to be childfree as time goes by. Glad I didn’t listen to The Regret Police🥳
Love this!
I'm a female senior citizen. Zero regrets about not having children.
Yaaay..I found my people!! I am over 50 and Soooo glad I did NOT fall for that okey doke about having kids. Married 15 years to the love of my life. We travel, and have Soooo much fun with each other❤️😍❤️
That is awesome!
I'm 30. Being childfree is amazing!
Agreed!
28 child free to ☺️👌
I'm turning 56 , and I never had kids, nor did I want any. Life is too short, do what you want, be who you want to be, and do your best not to hurt others and life can be a joy.
The only thing I regret is not taking better care of my teeth!!!😂😂😂
Ha, I’ll keep that in mind! 🦷
Seriously....🙌🏾
🤣🤣🤣
Married for 17 together for 22 years childfree and so happy with time for each other and each our own businesses.
46 - absolutely no regrets. Love my life!
I'm 62 married 37 years house paid off .we look after our rescue 🐕 🐶 dogs.no regret . My catholic parents not impressed. They've cut us out of their lives ..I don't care...they are just too TOXIC
Why just tell them you cant have kids? Catholics like lies.
Thank you for your videos. I'm going through a breakup where my ex really wanted to be a mom, but I am almost certain I don't want kids (27M). Your videos help me feel like I made the right choice.
You are so welcome. Sorry you are going through this. Definitely not an easy situation to be in, however knowing you are making the right choice will be positive in the future. Hang in there!
I'm 53 years old from Southeast Asia. In a society that pushes me to have children But my husband and I decided not to have children, and I believe that I wouldn't be able to do the job I dreamed of and live the life I wanted today if I had to raise kids.
There are many grown kids who hate their parents. There's no guarantee grown kids will take care of their parents in crises. Often times strangers take care of the elderly.
Very true.
Damn you look good for 54 sister I thought you were like 32! I Chose not to have kids it makes my military career and life easier as well as way more financially beneficial. Love the kid free videos!
Thank you!
Ha, nope, I'm not in my 50's. In the video I was reading a comment from a lady that was in her 50's. Sorry for the confusion, I should have clarified that in my video!
Wow I’m shocked by your age. So youthful looking
@zum zum Nope, not in my 50's. I was reading off a comment from a childfree lady in her 50's in my video. I should have made that more clear!
@@krissydeebeachgirl LOL, not 50! See my comment below...or above.
@@WifeWithoutKids what's your age thx
I just turned 30. I originally wanted kids (3 in fact). But then my partner and I spent more time with his nieces and nephews. They were all under the age of 13 at the time. The level of attention and responsibility required is really overwhelming and that just flipped my desire to, no no kids please. The increased cost of living and paying of students loans has just added to this.
I am starting to see more cons to having kids than pros so I am pretty happy not having kids.
I’m 30 and have been married for 10 years. My husband and I have no regrets. It’s a common misconception that all child free people hate children. I actually like children and I’m a teacher! I also adore and love spoiling my nieces and nephews.
But at the end of the day, my students, nieces, and nephews go home to their parents and I go home to relax and spend time with my husband. I’ve always said since I was a little girl that I never wanted children. The parenthood life just never seemed appealing to me. I’m a bit of an introvert and sometimes I just want to be alone.
I do sometimes worry about being alone 40+ years from now and worry about who will take care of us. But like you said, that’s not a good enough reason to have kids.
I'm not a teacher, but I can totally relate to the rest of your comment. I don't worry too much about the future as in the long run that probably won't help me either!
I agree that child-free and childless does not have to mean you can never interact with children whether as a mentor, teacher, nurse, babysitter, or aunt/uncle etc. If you really want children without contributing to an overpopulated situation, save up and become a foster parent or adopt!
I’ve had a pretty good life. I write songs, and those have become my kids, hehe. The childfree life has also allowed me to nurture in other ways like participating in programs which make lunches for kids in food insecure households. I also donate to lots of charities. So this argument that you can’t know the joy of nurturing doesn’t wash with me. People without kids can ‘nurture the community.’ I’ve always been sort of free spirited, and I didn’t like lots of commitments. I always worried if I had kids I would not be the best parent because I’m the type that likes a lot of freedom. Yet, I have been married 36 years, so my commitment is applied to that. I have a great supportive husband. Life is good. 😁
I totally agree with you on the idea of "nurturing the community." There are a lot of people around us that can use kindness and a helping hand.
I'm in my late fifties and don't regret my choice not to have kids. Coming from a very troubled family, I didn't want to subject children to angry people who cannot control their behavior. Those people got much worse through the years and I don't talk to them anymore but still know I made the right decision.
Knowing you made the right decision for yourself is what matters!🙌
well said
50 , and looking super fine,people think I'm in my 30's !! CF since 5. Not a bit I regret, NEVER for a second in my life !!!!
That's awesome!
No one thinks that. Glad your life boils entirely down to how you look.
@@jumbowana ohhh don't be jeallous you bitter child
@@nycsp Jealous of what? Maybe your mirror will come visit you in 10 years.
@@jumbowana jeallous!!!!
I am 30, single and have no regrets about not having children. I also likely won’t have nieces or nephews but I have a cat that I love dearly.
Cat's are amazing!
No Regrets!!! I love kids, but when I go home, I love ❤️ not seeing them. I’m 42.
Childfree uncle here. My two nephews are cool kids and I embrace the role. But they go home to their parents too. Early 40s and no regrets.
I have been married for 37 years and have two grown girls and two Grandsons. I am friends with my girls who are 33&36 now and Two Grandsons that I adore 11&9. My youngest is 33 and has been with her husband since she was 17. She is a RN with moms and babies they do not want to have kids they like their life style. I was heartbroken at first but I support her. I hope she doesn’t regret it. She said if she was in her early 20’s and didn’t have to work she would have had them.
Kids can be such a tough decision to make for some people. Thank you for showing support to your daughter even though I imagine that was really tough. I know my Mom's support means a lot to me.
Husband and I are 36/35 respectively, been married for 13 years. At the beginning of our marriage we didn't really want kids but "childfree" wasn't an option we were aware of. We just sort of figured we'd have an accident eventually and that'd be it. It wasn't until we were in our late twenties when we sort of realized, "hey, wait a minute, we've been married for almost a decade and our lives are awesome, why change things?" and now I find that the older we get (not that mid-30's in old), the less we actually want kids. We both love our lifestyle and freedom, our financial resiliency, our flexibility. We love being able to live comfortably and splurge on ourselves and our hobbies but still be able to save/plan for early retirement (if we decide or need to).
I'm sure lots of parents are still able to have those things, but I definitely feel like for us, not having kids gave us the space and freedom to explore uncomfortable work things (such as living abroad and moving around) to get ahead in our careers. I should add that neither of us ever wanted kids--even before we knew being childfree was an option, during the dating stage, we both expressed lack of desire for children. My husband specifically thinks of kids as a burden, and I am an introvert recovering from some childhood trauma of my own. We don't feel like anything is missing--we feel whole and happy and very much complete.
I'm 46, always thought i was fine not having kids, living, i suppose, vicariously through my nephews, and to be honest, at the time it was awesome and was indeed enough... but something in me has changed. The feeling that i will never be a father has left me utterly empty, and i can't see it ever changing. To think I've missed my purpose is honestly too much to bear. If i live to 80, thats 34 years feeling this horrendous emptiness... I beg you, dig deep, soul search, make sure, i understand it isnt for everyone, but please, please, don't end up like me.
At 49 I realize how I dodged a ginormous bullet by not having kids..I was that girl that grew up in abuse unloved neglected home single parent mother was a constant angry person..horrific situation bless her heart she had 8 children I was second to the last..so yeah she was pist at that moment in time..some women feel like they are someone just cus they were able to reproduce.. validation or survival is why some women have kids..not cus they truly really love kids...that's the REAL selfish person
Yes, not everyone makes a good parent unfortunately.
56, never regretted it.
👍
Children ARE NOT for everyone. I whole-heartedly support the childfree movement and think it's a huge step in the right direction. People who don't want kids should not have them, and no one has the right to pressure or condemn them for this decision. It is a monumental, life-altering decision, and anyone who takes it lightly or tries to push it on those who don't want kids is a frighteningly bad parent and an unconscionably irresponsible human being. Honestly, if people need a license to *drive* because they can harm others if they get behind the wheel without knowing how to drive, then how much more important is it for people to be screened before being allowed to have kids? (Not just raise, but *have* children--genetics play a huge part in personality, disorders, mental health, and certainly criminality, as mountains of research show by now.) The only possible problem I can see with screening people before allowing them to reproduce is if corrupt individuals end up in charge of the screening. (Which of course, sadly, is very likely, especially in the US, but this is still the only justification to not screen, and we need to find acceptable alternatives to that--starting with massive education about the downsides, about the realities of pregnancies and childbirth and mortality rates, about genetics.)
I love your channel. I’m 32 with no kids and I don’t want kids. I think most ppl regret having their kids which is why I don’t know why they tell other ppl to have them. Kids suck.
Kids are a big commitment for sure! Thank you for being part of this community. 🌸
Its cause misery loves company and the parents who do have kids wants you to join there misery. Deep down there jealous because childfree people are free to do whatever they want with out being tied down to kids.
I'm 22. I know I'm young so people think my say isn't as important to some people now but I already know I don't want to have kids. Love how inspiring and open this community is (both the platform you have made and the comments present). Subscribed.
You only have until like, 30. Tick tock. Men can have kids in their 50s and 60s, there is no rush for us, hence why we don't regret it when you do.
Let's turn it around and ask those who had kids if they ever regret having them.
Being legally married without children is completely fine with me!
Thank you for this video Hannah! ❤️
It was very interesting and informative!
I think that all humans are afraid to be alone and vulnerable, it's in our nature, but having children it's not a guarantee that you won't be alone.
Most of the elderly people in the retirement homes have children, who rarely visit them.
And you always have to remember that your children won't be as you imagined them. They can be the total opposite of what you dreamed them to be. They may even disappoint you or create problems if they end up with the wrong crowd or begin to use drugs.
Sometimes unfortunately, there are children who are born with severe illnesses and the parents will have to take care of them even in their 70's or 80's.
It is not a guarantee.
I think that the most important thing is to surround yourself with family, friends, and people who love you genuinely. You can have lots of friends, have fun and begin new friendships even in your 70's 80's and 90's. People always forget to live until the very last day. Sure, we won't be young forever, but we have plenty of opportunities every day!
As a famous Italian writer said (Marcello Marchesi): "L'importante è che la morte ci colga vivi"
- The important thing is that death takes us alive-
Thank you as always for your videos!
Ps: I'm almost in my mid twenties and so far, no regrets🤗
Yes! Very well said:)
Friends are not family
@@patriciav.1891 And sometimes family is not family.
Sometimes people betray their own blood for money, success or other "interests".
Family is loyalty, being there for each other, taking care of one another, making sure that everyone is ok, sharing many moments that will become beautiful memories, sticking together during hard times, celebrating many holidays and birthdays together, and every achievement/ success of the people that you love.
Blood has nothing to do with it.
Sometimes people abandon even their own mother.
Sometimes people talk behind back or gossip about certain family members.
Sometimes certain family members are envious of your success or your life.
Sometimes, in hard times, family members will leave you completely alone.
You see? Blood has nothing to do with it. If people do these things(and many other) they are not a family.
Every family is different and everyone has a different experience in life regarding to it.
We don't choose our family,but we can choose our friends.
Of course, family is more important (IF they are loyal etc), but you have to behave like a family member to be considered one. If not, you are not family to begin with.
I'm Italian, we don't joke around when it comes to family.
Loyalty is everything.
What I was trying to say is: IF for some reason you are not in contact with your family, or they are dead etc, you can create your own with people who have similar experience as you do and be happy regardless.
That's all 🤗
People should stop considering kids as their way to have community! Go live in an intentional community instead ;)
There are SO many existing communities for basically everything.
I’m 32 and I don’t regret it. I’m cool with being a professional aunt and living my own life.
🙌
Wait till you're 52, it'll happen.
@@Fwago1 You don't speak for everybody's life choices and situations!!! Women don't exist just to pop out babies like a damn vending machine for the benefit of men!!! And by the way, I'm a 55 year old single and childfree woman and I don't regret any of my choices in the slightest!!! Women don't owe men shit, and women don't exist for the pleasure and benefit of men!!!
Child-free and single. I'm figuring out what I want to do and working my goals. People who do that "who'll take care of you" dance with me get the look and the following response: "oh, what ever will I do?😲😱 I guess I'm going to have to take care of myself." The idea that you're birthing your future caregivers is silly, especially when you point out to them that their we're not tasking care of their own parents 24/7 because they were busy living their lives but expect their children to do that for them. That usually gets me "the look" 😤
Ha, I think we've all gotten "the look" a time or two! 😀
32 - no regrets 🎉
You still have time
You act as if your 60, you still have time though lol
42 here. There was a period of time I wondered if I was doing the right thing or not. Then I imagined my life with kids and every time I did that I felt so scared and stressed. So no thanks. I like the fact that I can go out any time I want sleep when I want enjoy lots of outings without worrying about time or money and as soon as the situation with coronovirus is better we will go on travelling with husband.
Life definitely has less worries without kids.
im 41 and make sure i get my birth control regularly. i have absolutely no regrets. i realized that I like babies but I dont like children and have no interest in raising a human. I am not maternal and was not given the personality to be a mother
and ontrakeption works both ways too
You're super balanced in your videos, thank you x
Thank you, I do my best to have a balanced view.
I'm 36. My husband is 51. We are childfree. I REGULARLY ask him if he is still OK with this choice, because I would feel horrible if he did and I never knew simply because I never asked. If he regretted our childfree choice, we would have to work through that, but my decision remains UNCHANGED. CHILDFREE.
Edit: I need to add that we met when I was 28 and he was 43, and we were BOTH childfree then. He was probably comfortable with his childfree decision long before we met. I was lucky to find him. There is ZERO pressure for kids.
If you're a self-absorbed person who doesn't invest in their community, of course you're going to have regrets. But that has nothing to do with being child-free.
Would be interesting to see the answers if the question was reversed.
Very true.
I'm 44 years old, child free by choice. I'm staying child free forever. I have 0 regrets. Everytime I go to the grocery store, see all of the baby supplies. I say to myself, "I'm sure glad I don't have to buy all of this crap.
I'm 32 yrs young. I've known since age 16 that I never want children. I spent the first 18 yrs of my life caring for my "parents." I also cared for my older brother (he is my entire heart) who was diagnosed with autism at age 2. I will never regret caring for my older brother. I resent having to care for my "parents" when they both were never concerned about my well being or my brother's. I've also raised other people's children my entire life. I intend to spend the rest of my life enjoying my peace and focusing on my own happiness.
It moved me a lot reading your words about your brother. I wish you the fullest and happiest life, from the bottom of my tired heart.
I didn’t have kids because my wife developed a mental illness. All mental illnesses are incurable. I’m now actually glad we never had kids. The work and drama outweighs the joy
Best wishes to you both ♥️
I'm 25 and having kids and starting a family is so pushed by everyone around that I feel like I'm making a bad choice but at the same time I'd never want that financial burden...
There's a lot of pressure to have kids. We should do it if that's what we really want. We shouldn't do it because people are telling us that's what we should do.
I am 58 it helps if you are a bit rebellious.. you are a rebellious person identity. One kan hide under that type.
I’m 16. Thus far, I do not regret not having kids. 😆
LOL, that's good!
15 and agree😂😂
Great service you're providing. I guess I'm older (52) married and and happy with no kids. No regrets.
So glad you left this comment. It's proof that people in their 50's DON'T have regrets about choosing childfree.
If you grew up in an abusive household, you might not have the best parenting skills because you had no role model for good parenting. That would be a good reason to NOT have children.
35 and child free. I have some regrets. I spent a lot of time working on my career, being with the wrong person, and now time is not on my side. I love my freedom, traveling, working out at my convenience, and I have a great career, but I’d love to add one or two children to the mix without losing all my other luxuries. Guess I need a rich man. Bc if not, I can’t afford to have kids and maintain my current lifestyle. That’s just the truth.
GirlyMuscleTV very true, once you have kids, what you want for yourself does not matter any longer. Everything is about them only. You will have to give up one or the other. I have no kids and lifestyle like yourself and I do not have a single friend who has children because we would have absolutely nothing in common.
koala6607 I only have one friend of a friend who doesn’t have children. How did you find friends without children? I would never have kids just to fit in but it’s tough not having much in common with most women my age.
I feel ya. 42 here and some regrets. Always thought I’d have kids but I didn’t come from a happy family so I didn’t want them or marriage young. I chose the wrong men and stayed together much too long. I didn’t know what I wanted for a career and didn’t want to be stuck with my current career because I had to support children. Since my father never supported our family- I never felt I could count on a husband to. Anyways now it’s probably too late for a bio or adoption and I still don’t have the career or partner I’d want to start a family with. It does make me sad sometimes. My advice would be start planning for kids today because YOU DO have time IF you want them! If not embrace all the freedom and extra money! But please don’t be like me and have regret! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@fixinfkinsandwiches6183 Don't worry too much! Our world isn't the ideal one. I think the cons outweigh the pros of having kids. Also you will never find out what your life would be like with kids. Maybe better maybe worse. So enjoy what you have and your freedom
Elen L Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate it! Take care! ❤️
THANK YOU for making this channel! I needed it so badly. I was in a serious relationship for 10 yrs, we were practically a happy married couple but he died almost 3 yrs ago. Now that im 39 and with a new man who makes me happy but doesn't want kids (yet) and is 8 yrs younger. Im facing maybe having to undergo a preventative double mastectomy and hysterectomy due to having cancer genes in me (no cancer though), so...
That's a lot to deal with. I'm so sorry for your loss and some of the other challenges you are facing. Great to hear you have a partner that can support you through the difficult stuff.
One reason a lot of people don't have children is they were exposed to 'parenting' at a young age. I grew up in a household that always had a child under nine. It was expected to have a one hour playtime with my siblings daily (no big deal but when you aren't allowed to hang out with friends until this is done, it can be frustrating for a 10-23 year old). It was fun but exhausting even for this brief period of time. I would bring my siblings to the park which usually meant bribing them to come home and dealing with tantrums. My room also bordered my parents room all growing up so I would wake up every two hours when the baby did. Sometimes my parents were so exhausted from having three babies I would end up shaking them awake and helping make bottles. I had my siblings wake me up if they had a bad dreams and crawl into bed, I had changed diapers, I had baby sat, held them when they cried etc. By the time I moved out at 23 with my Fiancé (traditional household) my mom had a baby under 3 months old. I felt exhausted from 'parenting' my entire life. I felt like I had the experience of parenting on my level or another. I am ready for DINK-hood because I am exhausted and yet have never had my own child. I realized I don't have the drive or desire anymore at nearly 27. Thanks for all your videos! I am hoping that when I eventually tell my in-laws they will understand. My husband feels as strongly about this as me. **edited
I can totally see why having kids wouldn't be something that you'd be interested in having been "parenting" for years already. I have a friend who has said the exact same thing to me. She comes from a large family, is the oldest and she says she's raised "her kids" already!
We are not monsters us childless women are great and are not sheep.. society wants to always be making money off women..lol ...I laugh at it.. ..stay awesome child free women..I love sleeping in..great dinners.. cycling..life of leisure by design!
Yes, the love and support of our kids make my wife a sheep. Good thing no one is making money off your choice to eat out, buy bikes, and spend on leisure activities.
38 and no regrets so far. I'm afraid I'll regret it when I'm older, but like what was said in this video, the fear of being lonely when older isn't a big enough reason to have kids. I've never felt the huge pull to have kids, so it just hasn't happened and I Iove all the freedom.
I think we all just make the best decisions we can for what fits us. 😃
I'm 21 and I can't wait till I'm 40 so I'll finally stop getting ppl telling me that I'll change my mind about choosing being childfree. Getting my tunes tied soon.
Age doesn't seem to stop people from asking ... trust me! 😯
Girl it will never stop! I'm 51 and still people ask me if I had or have. i look waaaaay younger CF life!
No one ever regrets decisions made when they were 21.
@@jumbowana the planet is gonna explode by the time im 40. Let me live selfishly
@@fruitcakeelly No it isn't and living selfishly is shallow and boring. I don't care if you don't have kids, but there's a reason the people who love and care about you most hope you'll change their mind.
short answer is no regrets. however, I do kind of worry about care when im older.
You should be able to afford care. That's not the issue. Loneliness is the issue.
No regrets so far, and we only have one nephew who doesn’t live in the same state. We are both super introverts and love being alone. I wonder if we/I will be lonely in old age, but there are always communities and groups that look out for one another. Maybe I’ll move in to one of those independent living places where they have bingo and square dancing 🙃
Exactly! There are other options available.
i agree, and volunteer work
personally the world needs the balance so each to there own
Balance is good.
All of these comments make me feel better ❤
54 and have no regrets. Not one!
That's awesome. 😃
Impressive
Team wife no kids 💕💕
😀
My best mate is planning to have kids soon with her hubby. I sense that she doesn't really want to have kids but feels obligated cause her hubby (partner for over 10 yrs) wants them and says that its a deal breaker in their relationship. Im sure there are others that have been in this situation and that would be a hard one to navigate.
Yes, that's such a hard place to be!
it should be a law not to for-e women to have kids et
@@beaulieuc8910🤡
I’ll be 30 years old next month. I’ve never been in love or pass a 6 month relationship. I’m currently trying to reprogram my mind on being facilitated on NEEDING marriage and children to feel fulfilled. It’s a draining by worthy process.
Yes, so good to realize we have a choice about parenthood! You've got this! 😃
This topic is hard for me.
I have thoughts of wanting children but not my own children. I just don't like the thought of giving birth. It sounds extremely painful and scary.
Then I think to myself "do I sometimes entertain the thought of having children because I enjoy spending time with my 5 year old niece?"
"Will I regret having children because I couldn't differentiate between enjoying most weekends with her vs. being a mother to a child I can't give back to their parents?"
This is the reason why I haven't had children with my husband yet. I'm 28, he's 40. I feel like time is creeping up on us and I can't make up my mind.
It is a really big decision and a tough one for some people. I think time does give people clarity at some point. The older I get I know not having kids has absolutely been the right decision for me. But for some people it goes the opposite way and that's OK too. You still have time:)
If he's 40 and you are almost 30, your time is almost out. The chances of having birth issues or defects is about to skyrocket.
Hi! I just found your channel and omg I feel so heard! I'm 29 and have been been having a lot of feels lately about being childfree - even going as far as to question my own womanhood because I dont have the "mommy gene". I'm lucky enough to have a partner who is on board with the no kids life but I do feel isolated among other women for not wanting children. Seeing your content makes me feel less alone.
I've heard from lots of women who apparently don't have the "mommy gene" and I'm one of them too. I think it's totally normal. Not every decision fits everyone the same way and that includes parenthood. Regardless of the pressure we might get from other people it's OK to choose child free. Hopefully you will find support in this community because that's why I created it! Happy to have you here. 😀
I wasted my childhood parenting my other parent + dealing with emotional incest and actual incest by another parent
I wont spend any more time with parenting someone
I’m 25, plan to create decent wealth and buy a nice home in a good and preferably affluent retirement estate in my older years, hopefully with my partner. Kids are not a retirement plan, neither are they guaranteed company to keep you less lonely. Personally, I love being around teenagers and kids who around 9-12 but knowing that I do not have to stress about the role of taking care of them as my own is great! Being a parent is more than just cute pictures, soccer mom duties and holidays...It’s waaaaay more than my personality can handle! And lastly, you are not selfish for not having them, because even those who did have children most likely started their sentence with “I” wanted them because...(That’s still a self-serving decision...)
My BFF tells me all the time that she loves her kids and wouldn't change having them now....but wishes she hadn't had kids. I have never ever had a single regret for not having them.
I think that's a hard thing for a parent to admit!
I think a lot of parents do regret it, but it's so taboo to say. Once the kids actuaally exist, you don't want to wish them out of existence. What an awful situation, to hate your life as a parent but feel like you ccan't even say it for fear of everyone saying what a horrible person you are.
You're funny, relatable and make awesome content😊
That was fun to listen to👍🏻
I'm 55 years old and I have absolutely no regrets whatsoever!!! I'm glad that I never had children because if I did I would be totally unhappy and my life would have been truly miserable!!! I lived my life for myself and I'm not missing anything!!! At the end of the day, my personal choice is nobody's damn business!!!
It absolutely is a very personal decision.
widow without children and 70 years old. no regrets.
My grandma had 10 kids, two died, she had my mum at 40 (last child) no one im mean no one wanted to look after her but my mom. Sooooooooooooo even if you have kids doesn’t mean they’re gonna look after you. I’ve seen old people put in homes. Smhhhhh and they have MORE THAN 4 grown ass kids.
Plus having kids late is okay too.
Either way who cares, people need to mind they own business.
It's true. So many kids don't look out for their parents.
not regrets, more happiness
But how would you know?
I'm 30. I don't have kids and I'm so glad. I even feel awkward when I'm around my nieces and nephew.
No regrets. And, it is sad that people have to justify this decision. No one asks if people regret having children.
That is very true.