Thanks for watching everyone. You can watch the full episode with Ryan Montgomery here th-cam.com/video/qjz_07-DvE0/w-d-xo.html Additionally if you want to support the Shawn Ryan Show you can join the community. www.patreon.com/VigilanceElite
I do feel like I have to say my apologies. Reason being I left a not so positive comment on his episode. By the way, you're awesome at what you do. But there's a lot of things and information that got crossed up in that interview I know this for a fact. Again, not trying to harass anyone but like I said there was a lot of mixture of information that in your past industry of work you understand people don't get to come home and the ones that do are left with the remainder.
Seriously. It hit way harder and felt so much more appropriate than showing all the emotion on camera. Way to go who every DP'd and edited this episode. A small gesture that shows real artistry and humanity.
I noticed that too, they didn’t zoom in on him crying and make a spectacle of his emotions. This show is a class act. They’re respectful to every guest and actually let them talk.
You can see in his eyes that he isn’t trying to be someone he isn’t. He’s honestly a rare person to find nowadays. And with his skills and experiences he is a legit specimen
@@daveyjoseph6058 good call out. A lot of young ones want to be rough riders or pursue the stereo typical man. But every man regardless of his ability or strength, has a job. I would contend this man is more of a man than all the Instagram bros combined.
@@jaholland42 young ones? There’s old guys that do that too, dudes who claimed they served and never did is a great example, just a lot of out there people pretending nowadays
That camera angle switch was one of the most respectful and recognizable small things iv seen in months. Many youtubers need to take notes from this imo. The respect level is off the charts in this pod cast let alone with our host ❤ Edit: 18k… WHAT!? Iv never gotten this many likes omg hah thanks! Cheers all!
While I absolutely see the sentiment here- doesn’t it also add some humanity for us to see someone get emotional? Wouldn’t this have been a moment for the youth to be forced to come face to face with the trauma that follows a life of drug addiction? I’m not here to be an asshole, I genuinely don’t know what side of this issue I’m on. But I think it’s a really interesting discussion to have
@@soffwhere Why would you purposely focus on someone when they are emotional? It is none of our business to see them crying! What, you expect them to just zoom right in there and get those angles in so it looks good for the telly?
seeing your friends die in front of your eyes is probably one of the most crushing experiences in life. it hurts alot because you feel extremely helpless and left alone
I lost my very nest friend in the whole world in a similar fashion. Calling his family was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. Its been almost 5 years now. I miss you brother.
I brought my best friend back to life. Sadly, I wasn’t there the second time. It’s one of those situations that will f*ck you up for life. I don’t know if I’ll ever hear or see something funny and not instinctively go to call him up and tell him, and have to remind myself he’s gone. Trust me when I say I can relate, and you are not alone.
Lost my best friend in 2015, our senior year. His birthday just passed a few weeks and his twin brother just had his second kid last month. I miss him so much. I’m sorry for your loss man. It doesn’t ever get easier
@@WeezyHolmes Idk if i want to ask what it was.....but I'm sorry man. Nobody should have to go through these things. I hope youre ok.....the best you can be. Idk man I'm just sorry is all.
I almost grieved myself to death. It's unfathomable multitudes more horrific than any horror film ever made, because it's your life and theirs. for me it got worse and worse in my head, i was having extremely intense and disturbing nightmares, one of which turned out to be true of how his body was being handled, it was too much. i was having constant auditory hallucinations of the ambulances and fire trucks and police, that lasted 2 days straight and i couldn't tell a soul because i was already in screaming hysterics every day and going to grief counseling but even that sweet councilor really did not know what to do with me. It took a NDE to give me the knowledge I needed to bring me back to a lucid state; Iwas trapped in an absolute hell for 2 weeks straight, not sleeping, not eating anything, drinking heavily, and in the most sadness I hope to ever feel. I prayed for God to just kill me or let me stop feeling like I did because I truly couldn't do it without a miracle fom him, I didn't see a way to carry on at all. I feel like he did both. I was forever changed. He showed me so much and it was extremely overwhelming, but I was able to heal
Found my wife of 16 years passed away in our basement. We were all asleep when it happened and dint find her till the morning. There was absolutely nothing I could do to bring her back as she'd been gone to long💔💔😢 No other pain can compare that to losing your other half.😢
@@pauliewalnuts3212 yes and that knowing of absolutely knowing they were already "not there" was traumatizing ....i'll never forget the 911 operator that made me touch him to feel if he was cold. i told her every way imaginable i knew he'd passed and she still made me do that
I truly hope this man has people in his life that love him as much as humanly possible. No one should have the life he's had. I'm so glad he's taken his pain and went down the road he's gone down.... I'm proud of him, but don't even know him... but in the end, he needs more love and support than I can even describe. 💔
Agree. I would add WE ALL need Love and Support to some degree at various times in our lives. Some more than others. Just as important it is up to each and everyone one of us to not give up on ones self when overcome with dire circumstances, feeling alone and defeated. A place I've been for a number years. Only this year, 2023, so far I've managed to begin my journey out of the pits I managed and allowed to put myself in. Without the love and support of just the one person in my life I would not be here to give my 2 cents. I see an EXIT sign. It's not my toes dangling off the edge of the local 9 story hospital building nor is it no longer the daily hell of chasing bags of heroin and pints of poison dubra vodka. The EXIT sign is to the next level of living. Living clean in mind, body and spirit for those who sincerely love and care for me. The next level where I've regained abilities to contribute to the daily grind rather than be a burden atop of it. -We are All One. Born of this World- Est. 1971 - SCM
I love this content, it brings people, good people who can relate with one another, together into a collective group that gives me honest hope again for humanity.
This man is doing many good deeds now in his job, but I would want to remind every female, that many females have this problem of overflowing love towards others especially to those who have miserable life, most of them ended up being the new victim of these miserable people. It’s good to help people but better with more wisdom. Some people have miserable life because of their own decisions.
Shawn Ryan Show is bloody awesome. As an oppoate addict in recovery i hate hearing this from the other side. Because ive done this to my loved ones and its sickening.
Everything you do is done with the utmost care and respect. The side shot is what I’m referring to here. Just when I think I couldn’t possibly enjoy your content anymore, I realize that you have next level insight like this. Love your show, and really proud you’re a fellow Tennessean.
Any more* If you say "anymore" in that sentence, it gets a different meaning. Not being a d/ck. Just helping you out! Have a good day! (Also, agreed on the side shot, it was very respectful of him)
Just perfect edit and respect for not showing his face towards the end when thoses memories were becoming too much to bare in that moment. I really respect and appreciate that you guys can show some repect and humanity by letting him keep that privacy its rare we get that now a days since is looking for attention and sympathy for something bad going on in there life, not saying everyone is like that just saying its more common to see now.
@@thomasmitchell4128 eh, to each their own, but the value of life takes a different meaning. Even natural deaths are still strange, and never “pretty.” There’s just something different about looking into the eyes of someone that’s dead and realizing no one is home.
@@cmendr011 same. It was a bit different when I was working, but with personal friends or family, it was always surreal and then it set in. Some hit harder than others.
"Vulnerability - the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally." I think this is a topic worth delving into. I think you're showing a minimum amount of vulnerability in this case. He's showing a ton more love than vulnerability. Vulnerability is revealing something much more easily exploitable(like "I cry if someone merely mentions such and such"). Being vulnerable for its own sake to the public is obviously a terrible idea. I think it's the same in a private setting. The question is, is there a time when it's worth it to be vulnerable (even in public) for a good cause? I think yes. For example, if you wanted to give hope to people with the same vulnerability as you, that they can attain what they look up to in you. A beautiful sacrifice.
@@mendelhalsband5579 Emotional vulnerability can be defined as having the courage to take emotional risks, even when we don’t know the outcome. It means showing up as our authentic selves and speaking our truth with no guarantee that we’ll be accepted.
@@ohoiboi9818If we go with your definition, why should more people try to do that? You say it’s taking an emotional risk; what’s the reward that warrants taking a risk on your emotional state? You saying “more people should do that” seems nonsensical to me..
Lost my best friend and a cousin along with uncles and more friends to overdoses. It's sad and terrible. My heart goes out to anyone who's been through it
I got a similar story, I dont realize how much of a blessing it is god woke me up every time from that nod and some people just didnt :( me and my best friend since 6th grade we got hooked on fentanyl one day we were going to catch the bus to go to another friends house the next city over so we were at my house chillin at a table on the side of my house, we were about to leave to the bus stop but before we had just snorted 2 lines each then I went inside real quick to grab some extra clothes and water, not even 5 minutes I come back out and I walk around the corner to the table and I see my friend with his head down as if he was sleeping on a desk like he was in school sleeping... so I called his name thinking he had just put his head down as im walking out the back gate, no response, i instantly got a gut feeling he had OD but i kept trying to tell myself he just fell asleep in the moment, until I walk up to him and I shake his shoulder saying his name multiple times, I freaked out he wasn't waking up, I turn him over and his face is pale as hell and lips purple asf, my heart instantly dropped I pulled him off the chair to the front and laid him down pumping his stomach and chest before I had called the ambulance thought, they get there fast with in 5-10-15 minutes max, they pick his body up and take him in and gave him spray narcan. my best friend woke up gasping for air and was alive. after i seen his lifeless body I thanked god ever since that day. we are still very close friends over the years. Rest in Paradise to all the loved ones we lost from overdose
This is THE most Respectful interview I have ever seen on TH-cam. Thank you for changing the camera angle. Thank you to this young man for sharing your story. I am so sorry for your loss. Your friend was very Blessed to have you in his Life. He is at Peace now. I am praying for you. If you need help in processing or Greiving be sure and contact me. I'm on Facebook Messenger. I wish you Clarity and Peace and Joy on your Healing Journey. I am sending Love and Hugs from Washington State, USA, Jeanne of In Loving Hands Counseling.
Being as I love children so much , I could only listen to so much . My heart hurts a bit but I’m great full for men like this man who’s out there helping families and children . May the Lord bless you my friend .
I lost my daughter last year at the age of 22 to Fentanyl. Made in china, shipped through Mexico and walked across our border. She wasnt a drug addict, she took a Xanax and drank alcohol, but her xanax eas pure Fentanyl. Her systen didnt even have xanax in it. So imo she was murdered by the dealer, with heavy assistance from the democratic party that has worked for decades to keep our borders open, so thst this poison can be so prevalent in society.
@@lukes6819 i appreciate it. Her 23rd birthday would've been on 04-09. Her death date was 5-29. So I made it through her birthday, which fell on Easter Sunday. Or as I call it, resurrection day.
Same thing happened when I found my friend hanging in her garage. I was convinced that if I kept doing cpr she would wake up. The paramedics kept pulling me off telling me she had been dead for a while but I kept fighting them to get back to cpr. It’s a crazy moment of shock when you find your friends dead. I don’t wish it on anyone. Plus him having to tell the dudes parents!! That would have broken me
Anyone who goes deep enough into drugs eventually experiences this with their friends and/or themselves… had my best friend die, and had my other best friend die but miraculously resurrected when EMTs showed up… I myself almost kicked the can a couple of times… glad to be done with all of this and my buddies seem to have wisened up enough through our experiences together as to seek a better life… albeit I still have some lasting issues here and there within, I don’t think they are drug related but were rather the cause of doing drugs in the first place when younger, but now am glad to have this whole nightmare behind me by a solid 5 years just about… thankfully got away without any AA/NA and rehab BS because that stuff after a while just makes me want to barf thinking about it all… glad to be done with that entire world and hope those who are still in it can find enough courage in their hearts to let go of it and seek recovery.
So sad. Praying for him. I lost two of my best friends while in highschool and there are pieces of me I never recovered. This is awful. This man deserves an award for his strength and kindness for other humans.
There's nothing worse than having to tell a parent that their child is dead. I had to tell both my Mother and Father seperately about my sister and the sounds and expressions will never leave me.
I am going through a lot the past couple of years, and ever since I have stumbled upon your channel a few months ago, I listen to you when shit is getting so incredibly heavy. You are naturally funny and a free spirit and watching you makes my day better. You’re amazing. Please don’t ever change and thank you for making your podcast 😢
I don't know who you are but I feel the same way you do about the show...who ever you are please just keep your head up and try to remain positive... I'm going through a lot as well but trust me...things will get better in time
I lost my mother to an opiate overdose 12 years ago this year. No matter what anyone says, the pain never gets better, it never goes away. You just get better at hiding it. I miss you mom
Heartbreaking. I’m a recovering opiate addict and got clean 7 years ago and my kids were 11 and 9 I got sober. I think of how I could have died and left them and I promise your mom didn’t want to leave you. She thought there was time and her time ran out. The love of a mother has no bounds. She is loving you from a different place now but I promise she is still with you.
@@commandershepard4235I just want to hug you hun ❤ please just know your mom never stopped loving you or wanting to be the mom you needed. The disease of addiction is horrible for all those affected.
From someone that has experienced something similar to this, I’m sorry you had to go through that brother. He’s in a better place now, never forget that.
This is such a hard situation to go through. My best friend also overdosed at my house one day and I preformed CPR until the paramedics showed up. My arms burned so bad from the pumping and he took his last breath in my face but I was still in denial even when they put him on the stretcher and took his body away. I'm sorry you had to go through that also. It really is tough on a person mentally. My prayers are with you❤
God that’s rough. Been there more times than I like to think about. Lost my best friend the same way. We both started using around the same time but we were friends long before either of us did that. Like since middle school. I saved his life once when we first started, and again from long distance by calling his gf who got to him and called 911 just in time. But the third time I wasn’t there and I didn’t know. It pains me bc if I had been there or somehow knew about it he’d still be alive. But I wasn’t able to be in a whole other state to know that. I feel for this guy. One of the best episodes I’ve seen on this show. Many ppl think they understand addiction but unfortunately it doesn’t matter who you are you won’t understand it fully until you’ve gone through it. Everybody is different.
Just finished this interview. This man sacrefied alot, for other people's sake. His mental health, for the times he had to watch absolutely discusting things. And he himself had gone through alot. Biggest respect to this man ❤ Continue your good work Ryan!
My husband lost his twin to addiction. He and I are both recovering opiate addicts and got ourselves clean before it was too late, but his brother succumbed to the disease and I see the pain and grieving my husband goes through, it’s devastating.
All these people with loved ones passed from drugs, need to get together and swamp the homes and offices of the people who produce it, with snail mail letters in paper, of their harrowing stores. I am so sorry to hear what you’ve been through .
Ryan has been so vilified by the media but everything I've heard him say on this podcast just tells me he's a good man. I can't imagine what that's like. Thank you for sharing your story, Ryan. I pray I never have to experience such a horrific thing. It gives me a level of respect for anyone that has had to go through such a nightmare and are still able to function and live.
I'm a recovering addict. I've lost too many people to count now. I've used since I was 16, I just turned 30 and have 1 year and 4 months sober. While I was in my addiction seeing people die was like breathing air, especially when your perception is so warped and looking back at it now hurts more than when it was actually happening from how numb I was. I can only imagine how hard it is for him.
I went threw the same thing.Very traumatizing to pull somebody off a couch and that there still in the same position as they where when they where sitting.It’s very very strange seeing blue feet and a face with blood coming out there nose and feeling a stiff body is very very traumatic.I had to call the cops and tell his family it happens everyday and it’s very sad to think about it.
This guy is a hero….and should be given an award! I wish I could get his help to find the person who sold my brother fentanyl in 2018 which killed him. The following day the dealer who sold the fentanyl, text my brother Gabriel’s cellphone saying; “You alive bitch?” His girlfriend who was there at the time took off with all his and my dads old comics and left the Ontario with his things. My brother was in recovery after my dad died. No one even cared about what happened to my brother except me. I tried to get them to please go after the person who gave my brother the fentanyl but….The cops wouldn’t even investigate. 27 years old. He was my best friend in the whole world and I miss him dearly. I feel my brother close and all around me. Now I search for him every night in my dreams.
never tried to trace the number? you can use various databases to look up numbers, assuming he wasn’t using a VOIP. most dealers aren’t that smart tho.
@@ogkb one of my biggest regrets is not texting the dealer back to tell him he killed my little brother. I was worried I would have interfered with a potential investigation. I contacted the police several times to investigate and eventually was told if I called anymore they wouldn’t do anything. This was at the end of 2018 when police didn’t care about anyones death associated with fentanyl. I’m very suspicious about my brother death all around. My brother was about to sue a big hospital for beating the living shit out of him after he had surgery done on his hand and was directed after waking up from surgery to go down the hall to use the pay phone to make a call. They didn’t let him use the phone at the nursing station. The video I was emailed by my brother was security footage of their security coming from behind while my brother was on the phone and the other hand in a soft cast from the micro surgery he just hand to reattach all his fingers because he put his hand through a tile cutter accidentally after trying to return to work after CAMH discharged him the first time. Saying he wasn’t in need of their care; (despite me and my brother begging for their help.) they had previously diagnosed him with psychosis episodes. He was paranoid beyond words and had been in and out of shelters after doing 8 months behind bars for stealing chocolate bars and a pack of cigarettes at a gas station wearing a Batman mask. He was abused sexually assaulted while there and just needed a bed. I had been trying to take care of my brother the best I could since he was 15 and I was 18. When I was 25 and had my first child he moved in with our father and unfortunately inherited a heroine addiction. He wanted help and was trying to get clean and go back to school; to study computer sciences and programming. He was so incredibly intelligent and funny. Pete Davidson actually reminds me so much of him. His name is Gabriel Ram on Facebook. Please look him up🤍🙏🏼 he was the light in my life and best friend. He protect me growing up when our mom left my dad. He relapsed after my dad died which led him to using again and working for a shady contractor where he eventually put his hand through the saw machine. After he was beaten up by security at the hospital and the kicked and smashed his hand in a cast he needed to go back into emergency surgery and was unable to use it or work. Again trying to get him help at CAMH. Their psychiatrist specifically told me; this isn’t the Ritz Carlton and they needed their beds for priority patients. They sent him away only because my brother was so funny and used it as a defence mechanism cheering people up so much the hospital staff didn’t like or appreciate it. My brother gave people my number and for months after his dead had random people calling my phone from nurses to patients talking about how he brightened up their day and he was the reason they didn’t want to commit suicide. I just had my son a year before and right before Christmas and my 30th birthday I had my first episode of sleep paralysis in 15 years; which I saw a demon infront of me. Face to face and we both fell to the ground. I eventually managed to break free from this paralyzed state and awoke crying and screaming my husband comforting me I checked the time and fell back to sleep. Normally I would have called my brother and still regret not doing so. 6:30 that morning they called from the hospital saying my brother overdosed. The told us it happened around 3:30 in the morning… same time as my paralyzing nightmare…. I was in shock and begged begged and begged for them to bring him back. He was an organ donor and that was their only concern at that point; eventually they put him on a dialysis machine and after their tests said all his organs were “unsalvageable because they had been deprived of oxygen for too long.” At that point I had to accept he was gone. …They said he fell asleep face down into a pillow and his brain swelled so bad it was going into his neck and in between him moving beds in the hospital he again somehow was taken off his oxygen machine for almost 8 minutes. I don’t know how the fuck all this could have happened. He was clean and CAMH put my brother not into a rehab like they promised but into a “safe injection site” where they were addicts volunteering there and non of them encouraged my brother to stay clean. They told him is was okay and safe to use there. A month in, he told me I couldn’t come with the kids and described the place to me… I could tell he was using again and pleaded with him to try to go back to the hospital. The second time he called I missed it. The next call I got he overdosed. Toxicology report said; “accidental fentanyl overdose.” He was clean so getting laced coke basically killed him with his tolerance being so low at that point he probably didn’t realize what he was given or how much he was taking nor did he know it was laced with fentanyl. So you asked why I didn’t trace the number afterwards words; it crossed my mind many many time in the last 5 1/2 years. If I ever found out who killed my brother; I would be in jail for the rest of my life. I have two kids and I can’t abandon them. I know what it feels like growing up with parents and I won’t ever put myself in a position to do that. I’m going to school in September to study; behavioural sciences….because I chose to do it instead of going after the people who killed my brother. Karma come for everyone. I’m doing this to live for my family and honour my brother who without him I wouldn’t be here. He saved my life many times. So I’m pushing myself to go to school not just for myself but for my children and my brother Gabriel.🤍
My friend, your search for your brother in your dreams is similar to hunting your cars and realizing they were in your hand the whole time. He has never left you. Look in the mirror, in your heart and in your memories.....he is still there and always will be.
Here you are, speaking out 💎 i am very proud to live in this spectecular Times people fight for truth and facing reality as it truly is. I'm all in doing my Part in this cruel environment. People please wake up
I lost my best friend to accidental suicide. I was 3 feet from him when he shot himself in the head. I have severe PTSD from it. I know exactly what dude is going through. February made 3 years and It still doesn't seem real. I call his phone just begging for him to pick up. I was never the same man...
I am so sorry for your loss. I know nothing I can say would help but, please know that people care what you have been through. I hope you find peace in your life & comfort for your soul. 💟☮🌈🍀
I’m so very sorry you went through that and your loss of your friend . 😢😞 I pray you find peace living with the big picture of eternity in mind . Though their life was far too short , they impacted yours and their life matters the same as any of ours does . 🙏😔❤️
Thank you for sharing your painful experience, addiction is a huge problem in America but also worldwide , may everyone suffering addiction heal ❤ you are loved
It’s so painful to lose someone we care about. Like a physical pain. But there’s no pain killers for it. It can drive u mad to know that u never know when it returns and how long it’ll stay each time. Hits u like a tsunami every time. Scared me every time till date. Like watching urself writhing and being helpless or even unwilling to do anything about it. It’s a petrifying experience. I’m so sorry!!
@M I A yep. For me with losing best friend the same way or my dad from cancer I almost don’t want to be successful bc they won’t be here to see it. You know what I mean? May sound goofy to a lot of ppl but I know I’m not the only one.
I just posted above before seeing this comment did I found my best friend who is the male hanging few years back. I moved the nearest table over and got up on it and somehow was able to lift his body weight and get the noose from under his chin around his neck... Sorry I'm stammering I got it from around his neck like going over his chin and his body fell and it taco'd backwards and this man's story brought me right back to that moment. It's an experience I don't wish on anyone in fact I'm sending everybody that has had to deal with that all of the love and goodness I can.
@@pab1381 I lost my dad to cancer in 2008. I've had a few friends that are dealing with losing their parents or anyone close to them that my only advice is to not have any coulda shoulda woulda's. When my father went I didn't have any otherwise I wouldn't be here today I'm sure of it. And it's crazy that the only thing left of them is memories. That being said you've got to live in their honor for lack of better term. Make them proud of you! And I don't mean success-wise because ultimately your being successful does not amount to anything but paper (money) and things. What I really mean when I say make them proud of you is to become a good human. Have good morals and ethics and do the right thing. Be kind. That's ultimately the only real thing of value in this world. I know it sounds very hippie-esq of me and my father was a biker through-and-through. He was well respected and he treated others with respect and lived honorably. But, I hope you see the point in all that. I really do understand exactly what you meant and can relate to how you feel as well.
@@LaylaLeft thank you and sorry to hear about your dad too. My dad passed 2 years after yours in 2010. I absolutely try to be the best person I can be. Almost to the point where ppl tell me I have to be tougher but it’s not in me anymore. I’m sick of seeing evil or mean spirited ppl. But I get what you mean though. Thank you. Hope all is well otherwise!
Lost my best friend to fentanyl od his parents found him the last text he ever sent was to me 10 min before he passed saying how much he loved me and my family, his last sentence in the message was “ you’ll always be my best friend but more importantly you’ll always be family “
All these people with loved ones passed from fentanyl, need to get together and swamp the homes and offices of the people who produce it, with snail mail letters in paper, of their harrowing stores. I am so sorry to hear what you’ve been through .
@@waffle_chair9269It is not the manufacturer’s fault, but the consumer’s fault. From the last text message sounds like this person was saying his goodbyes. Maybe this person intentionally overdosed himself. If this person would have not found drugs, maybe he had done it a different way. Regardless still sad 😢
My sincerest sympathies for the loss of your best friend. My daughter was released from prison her parting 'gift' was two boxes of Narcan .. It's a horror reality that these poor souls suffering from addiction are everywhere in every walk of Life.
I was that best friend before. By some miracle my friend was an EMT, and an addict as well, and she was able to resuscitate me. Still shot up the next day like i never died. Pre fentanyl days. Addiction is brutal. Lost many friends. So glad i was able to get clean.
I'm sorry you suffered too on that day along with your friend. I'm sorry for your loss, his family and friends. I hope your good memories with your friend bring you comfort on the days you need it or when sad, knowing it's okay to be is a reflection on your character and knowing you care too. Thank you for allowing yourself to share your vulnerability too and not only your professional knowledge and skills. MK Australia
Bro, this interview was real as fuck. Not that the others aren’t by ANY means. Ryan is a great interviewer/host/whatever. Thanks for opening up our eyes to reality.
Bless you brother. I hope you recover from this trauma. My late father died in my arms 2008, something I think of each day and a vision that never escapes me. May God walk with you, guide and comfort you. You’ll one day be reunited. Much love from my family and I to you and yours brother 💙🙏🏻⚖️
Beautiful touch with the camera angle at that moment. Tasteful and respectful. Whoever came up with that is a fucking genius. Being born in the early 80’s my generation seemed to have been ravaged by addiction and I lost a few friends especially back in the 00’s & 2010’s and it sucks.
I am sorry for your loss!! You can see he went back to that exact moment in real time like as if it just happened. This man carries a heavy burden on his shoulders each day! That was some heavy stuff! 😢🙏
@shawnryanclips love your work man I can't explain how rare it is to find a show that's as real as yours from the people you interview or when you talking from you point of view. It's something that grounds me when I need it. Same thing happen to me found my older brother overdosed when I was 18 in 2003 that was 20 yrs ago but me and my family still feel the effects of him not here but we have faith 🙏. Great work like always 👍
Much love and respect ❤ I'm so sorry for your loss. Praying you heal as much as possible. You're a amazing person and I know you truly loved your friend ❤
😭. This is a huge loss. He had a best friend🙏 May your story save so many Sir. Your contribution as a hacker is SUCH A BIG DEAL to society, to the children of our planet. Thank you, thank you🙏
Thanks for watching everyone. You can watch the full episode with Ryan Montgomery here th-cam.com/video/qjz_07-DvE0/w-d-xo.html Additionally if you want to support the Shawn Ryan Show you can join the community. www.patreon.com/VigilanceElite
@ShawnRyanClips @ShawnRyan - The work you are doing is next level, truly. Watching the evolution of your messaging has been phenomenal. Thank you.
I have 0 friends so this doesn't affect me or move me in any way.
I do feel like I have to say my apologies. Reason being I left a not so positive comment on his episode. By the way, you're awesome at what you do. But there's a lot of things and information that got crossed up in that interview I know this for a fact. Again, not trying to harass anyone but like I said there was a lot of mixture of information that in your past industry of work you understand people don't get to come home and the ones that do are left with the remainder.
Im soo sorry..
Fuck drugs. My stepson just died on Monday due to them
The side shot was very respectful.
i thought this as well. its also kinda awkward watching someone get choked up
yea good editor
Thought the same thing
Seriously. It hit way harder and felt so much more appropriate than showing all the emotion on camera. Way to go who every DP'd and edited this episode. A small gesture that shows real artistry and humanity.
He hacked the cams. 😅
I really appreciate that they moved the camera angle from his face for the video, completely respect that.
Respect? The man nearly laughed when he said his best friend was dead
@@2010RSHACKSwhat short did YOU watch?
@@2010RSHACKSare you dumb? he was so close to start bawling his eyes out.
@@WafflesIncorporatedfr
@@2010RSHACKSwhen tf did he laugh? Also if he did laugh, laughing is a really common coping mechanism, but he didnt laugh.
Props for that camera angle switch, too
I noticed that too, they didn’t zoom in on him crying and make a spectacle of his emotions. This show is a class act. They’re respectful to every guest and actually let them talk.
Respect
W editor
I agree. I really appreciated that.
Im not good with this type of thing but can someone explain why the camera switch was do respectfully please
Dude that changed the angle is a G
What does the G stand for?
@@ArturoMoraleslopez561 So he's a real greatest? Because back in the day G stood for gangsta.
Why ?
I bet this fella got more love from being on Shawns pod than he ever expected
You can see in his eyes that he isn’t trying to be someone he isn’t. He’s honestly a rare person to find nowadays. And with his skills and experiences he is a legit specimen
@@daveyjoseph6058 good call out. A lot of young ones want to be rough riders or pursue the stereo typical man. But every man regardless of his ability or strength, has a job. I would contend this man is more of a man than all the Instagram bros combined.
@@jaholland42 young ones? There’s old guys that do that too, dudes who claimed they served and never did is a great example, just a lot of out there people pretending nowadays
@@jharris7817 agreed sir. just a harder group to police.
I sure hope so
Whoever was switching camera angles.
You a real one my man.
That camera angle switch was one of the most respectful and recognizable small things iv seen in months. Many youtubers need to take notes from this imo. The respect level is off the charts in this pod cast let alone with our host ❤
Edit: 18k… WHAT!? Iv never gotten this many likes omg hah thanks! Cheers all!
Whoever was behind that, huge respect
Shows to often zoom in when people are getting emotional, I’ve always found it disturbing, but this was amazing, and I wish more things did this.
I prefer a zoom in
While I absolutely see the sentiment here- doesn’t it also add some humanity for us to see someone get emotional? Wouldn’t this have been a moment for the youth to be forced to come face to face with the trauma that follows a life of drug addiction? I’m not here to be an asshole, I genuinely don’t know what side of this issue I’m on. But I think it’s a really interesting discussion to have
@@soffwhere Why would you purposely focus on someone when they are emotional? It is none of our business to see them crying! What, you expect them to just zoom right in there and get those angles in so it looks good for the telly?
seeing your friends die in front of your eyes is probably one of the most crushing experiences in life. it hurts alot because you feel extremely helpless and left alone
He was already dead
U get used to it after the first dozen
Probably where him and the military folks find common ground
I lost my partner like this...
@@chriscote100that's a bit cold mate.
Dudes a hero, plain and simple.
How?
@@deadliftordie5276 watch any other clip of this podcast lol
Yeah he’s a legit hero!
well he didnt save him..
@@tonymonxana992 he literally put malware on thousands of computers. That’s not much of a hero. Also he didn’t save anyone.
I lost my very nest friend in the whole world in a similar fashion. Calling his family was one of the most difficult things I've ever done. Its been almost 5 years now. I miss you brother.
May they rest in peace
I brought my best friend back to life. Sadly, I wasn’t there the second time. It’s one of those situations that will f*ck you up for life.
I don’t know if I’ll ever hear or see something funny and not instinctively go to call him up and tell him, and have to remind myself he’s gone.
Trust me when I say I can relate, and you are not alone.
Lost my best friend in 2015, our senior year. His birthday just passed a few weeks and his twin brother just had his second kid last month. I miss him so much. I’m sorry for your loss man. It doesn’t ever get easier
Man what a terrible experience, that’s hard for anyone to witness no matter how tough you think you are.
Can confirm, found my girlfriend like that, was not drugs that took her life...
@@WeezyHolmes Idk if i want to ask what it was.....but I'm sorry man. Nobody should have to go through these things. I hope youre ok.....the best you can be. Idk man I'm just sorry is all.
I almost grieved myself to death. It's unfathomable multitudes more horrific than any horror film ever made, because it's your life and theirs. for me it got worse and worse in my head, i was having extremely intense and disturbing nightmares, one of which turned out to be true of how his body was being handled, it was too much. i was having constant auditory hallucinations of the ambulances and fire trucks and police, that lasted 2 days straight and i couldn't tell a soul because i was already in screaming hysterics every day and going to grief counseling but even that sweet councilor really did not know what to do with me. It took a NDE to give me the knowledge I needed to bring me back to a lucid state; Iwas trapped in an absolute hell for 2 weeks straight, not sleeping, not eating anything, drinking heavily, and in the most sadness I hope to ever feel. I prayed for God to just kill me or let me stop feeling like I did because I truly couldn't do it without a miracle fom him, I didn't see a way to carry on at all. I feel like he did both. I was forever changed. He showed me so much and it was extremely overwhelming, but I was able to heal
Found my wife of 16 years passed away in our basement. We were all asleep when it happened and dint find her till the morning. There was absolutely nothing I could do to bring her back as she'd been gone to long💔💔😢
No other pain can compare that to losing your other half.😢
@@pauliewalnuts3212 yes and that knowing of absolutely knowing they were already "not there" was traumatizing ....i'll never forget the 911 operator that made me touch him to feel if he was cold. i told her every way imaginable i knew he'd passed and she still made me do that
He's such a genuinely good person and this is so sad to hear. I hope life blesses him with many great friends.
I truly hope this man has people in his life that love him as much as humanly possible. No one should have the life he's had. I'm so glad he's taken his pain and went down the road he's gone down.... I'm proud of him, but don't even know him... but in the end, he needs more love and support than I can even describe. 💔
You should definitely watch the whole episode. The dude tracks down child predators and traffickers and puts them behind bars.
@@Dakarn that is the effect, you either end up the same or the opposite
Agree. I would add WE ALL need Love and Support to some degree at various times in our lives. Some more than others. Just as important it is up to each and everyone one of us to not give up on ones self when overcome with dire circumstances, feeling alone and defeated.
A place I've been for a number years. Only this year, 2023, so far I've managed to begin my journey out of the pits I managed and allowed to put myself in.
Without the love and support of just the one person in my life I would not be here to give my 2 cents.
I see an EXIT sign. It's not my toes dangling off the edge of the local 9 story hospital building nor is it no longer the daily hell of chasing bags of heroin and pints of poison dubra vodka.
The EXIT sign is to the next level of living. Living clean in mind, body and spirit for those who sincerely love and care for me. The next level where I've regained abilities to contribute to the daily grind rather than be a burden atop of it.
-We are All One. Born of this World-
Est. 1971 - SCM
I love this content, it brings people, good people who can relate with one another, together into a collective group that gives me honest hope again for humanity.
This man is doing many good deeds now in his job, but I would want to remind every female, that many females have this problem of overflowing love towards others especially to those who have miserable life, most of them ended up being the new victim of these miserable people. It’s good to help people but better with more wisdom. Some people have miserable life because of their own decisions.
Shawn Ryan Show is bloody awesome. As an oppoate addict in recovery i hate hearing this from the other side. Because ive done this to my loved ones and its sickening.
Everything you do is done with the utmost care and respect. The side shot is what I’m referring to here. Just when I think I couldn’t possibly enjoy your content anymore, I realize that you have next level insight like this. Love your show, and really proud you’re a fellow Tennessean.
He’s a fellow Tennessean? I agree dude just gets better!
Any more*
If you say "anymore" in that sentence, it gets a different meaning.
Not being a d/ck.
Just helping you out!
Have a good day!
(Also, agreed on the side shot, it was very respectful of him)
@@Zorothex5152 I completely agree with you and appreciate you taking the time to share your knowledge. Much love and respect
This guy is fucking unreal. Mad respect ❤
Just perfect edit and respect for not showing his face towards the end when thoses memories were becoming too much to bare in that moment. I really respect and appreciate that you guys can show some repect and humanity by letting him keep that privacy its rare we get that now a days since is looking for attention and sympathy for something bad going on in there life, not saying everyone is like that just saying its more common to see now.
The mental strength of this dude is unmatched!
Witnessing death first hand isn’t easy. Adding that it was someone you knew, and it’s only magnified tenfold.
It's not that bad, sheesh, overdramatic much?
@@thomasmitchell4128 eh, to each their own, but the value of life takes a different meaning. Even natural deaths are still strange, and never “pretty.” There’s just something different about looking into the eyes of someone that’s dead and realizing no one is home.
I always found the experience surreal.
@@cmendr011 same. It was a bit different when I was working, but with personal friends or family, it was always surreal and then it set in. Some hit harder than others.
@@thomasmitchell4128pretty sure you’ve never seen the eyes of a lifeless body than
“Lost my best friend, ya know” you can see the heartbreak in his face after he realizes what he just said :/
I like how the camera angle shifts respectfully when he starts getting emotional.
more people should allow themselves to be vulnerable like that. You did good
Allowing yourself to be vulnerable, especially for a large audience online, is about the worst advice you can give 90% of the time.
"Vulnerability - the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally."
I think this is a topic worth delving into. I think you're showing a minimum amount of vulnerability in this case. He's showing a ton more love than vulnerability. Vulnerability is revealing something much more easily exploitable(like "I cry if someone merely mentions such and such").
Being vulnerable for its own sake to the public is obviously a terrible idea. I think it's the same in a private setting.
The question is, is there a time when it's worth it to be vulnerable (even in public) for a good cause? I think yes. For example, if you wanted to give hope to people with the same vulnerability as you, that they can attain what they look up to in you. A beautiful sacrifice.
@@mendelhalsband5579 Emotional vulnerability can be defined as having the courage to take emotional risks, even when we don’t know the outcome. It means showing up as our authentic selves and speaking our truth with no guarantee that we’ll be accepted.
@@ohoiboi9818If we go with your definition, why should more people try to do that? You say it’s taking an emotional risk; what’s the reward that warrants taking a risk on your emotional state? You saying “more people should do that” seems nonsensical to me..
The more you share, the stronger you get.
Lost my best friend and a cousin along with uncles and more friends to overdoses. It's sad and terrible. My heart goes out to anyone who's been through it
I hope he gets lots of support after doing the podcast, hero
Shawn is for real! The fact that he switched his face for the emotional memory. Real 👑 King ❤
One of the best podcasts/guests I’ve seen in a long time.
I got a similar story, I dont realize how much of a blessing it is god woke me up every time from that nod and some people just didnt :( me and my best friend since 6th grade we got hooked on fentanyl one day we were going to catch the bus to go to another friends house the next city over so we were at my house chillin at a table on the side of my house, we were about to leave to the bus stop but before we had just snorted 2 lines each then I went inside real quick to grab some extra clothes and water, not even 5 minutes I come back out and I walk around the corner to the table and I see my friend with his head down as if he was sleeping on a desk like he was in school sleeping... so I called his name thinking he had just put his head down as im walking out the back gate, no response, i instantly got a gut feeling he had OD but i kept trying to tell myself he just fell asleep in the moment, until I walk up to him and I shake his shoulder saying his name multiple times, I freaked out he wasn't waking up, I turn him over and his face is pale as hell and lips purple asf, my heart instantly dropped I pulled him off the chair to the front and laid him down pumping his stomach and chest before I had called the ambulance thought, they get there fast with in 5-10-15 minutes max, they pick his body up and take him in and gave him spray narcan. my best friend woke up gasping for air and was alive. after i seen his lifeless body I thanked god ever since that day. we are still very close friends over the years. Rest in Paradise to all the loved ones we lost from overdose
Did you get clean after that event and are you still clean?
I'm sorry for your loss. I hope you're doing okay through all of this. It must be very hard.
Ryan, you are a true hero! If you ever need any favors. I’ll be on the first flight.
I experienced this too. Terribly difficult. Sending love. ❤️
This is THE most Respectful interview I have ever seen on TH-cam. Thank you for changing the camera angle.
Thank you to this young man for sharing your story. I am so sorry for your loss. Your friend was very Blessed to have you in his Life. He is at Peace now. I am praying for you. If you need help in processing or Greiving be sure and contact me. I'm on Facebook Messenger. I wish you Clarity and Peace and Joy on your Healing Journey. I am sending Love and Hugs from Washington State, USA, Jeanne of In Loving Hands Counseling.
Being as I love children so much , I could only listen to so much . My heart hurts a bit but I’m great full for men like this man who’s out there helping families and children . May the Lord bless you my friend .
I lost my daughter last year at the age of 22 to Fentanyl. Made in china, shipped through Mexico and walked across our border.
She wasnt a drug addict, she took a Xanax and drank alcohol, but her xanax eas pure Fentanyl. Her systen didnt even have xanax in it. So imo she was murdered by the dealer, with heavy assistance from the democratic party that has worked for decades to keep our borders open, so thst this poison can be so prevalent in society.
@@davidstockdale4187 Sorry for your loss David
@@lukes6819 i appreciate it. Her 23rd birthday would've been on 04-09. Her death date was 5-29. So I made it through her birthday, which fell on Easter Sunday. Or as I call it, resurrection day.
I still havent made it through a quarter of the show. Some parts made me literally sick to my stomach.
I love the respect shown to your guests during difficult memories that they share. Much respect to you and your guests.
Same thing happened when I found my friend hanging in her garage. I was convinced that if I kept doing cpr she would wake up. The paramedics kept pulling me off telling me she had been dead for a while but I kept fighting them to get back to cpr. It’s a crazy moment of shock when you find your friends dead. I don’t wish it on anyone. Plus him having to tell the dudes parents!! That would have broken me
Anyone who goes deep enough into drugs eventually experiences this with their friends and/or themselves… had my best friend die, and had my other best friend die but miraculously resurrected when EMTs showed up… I myself almost kicked the can a couple of times… glad to be done with all of this and my buddies seem to have wisened up enough through our experiences together as to seek a better life… albeit I still have some lasting issues here and there within, I don’t think they are drug related but were rather the cause of doing drugs in the first place when younger, but now am glad to have this whole nightmare behind me by a solid 5 years just about… thankfully got away without any AA/NA and rehab BS because that stuff after a while just makes me want to barf thinking about it all… glad to be done with that entire world and hope those who are still in it can find enough courage in their hearts to let go of it and seek recovery.
So sad. Praying for him. I lost two of my best friends while in highschool and there are pieces of me I never recovered. This is awful. This man deserves an award for his strength and kindness for other humans.
I’ve had a similar experience. God Bless you guys for bringing the message.
Damn... that is so rough! That poor guy! My heart goes out to him.
I felt this 💯. Ive had this happen twice, never gets ANY easier. Opioids are out of control these days.
R.I.P.😔
I've only seen a few clips of this man so far
This man here is a wonderful being we should all respect
So many people out there should exist like this hero. Ryan is a true hero and I wish people were more like him. ❤ thank you Ryan and Shawn
Salute to this Man on this Mission. Ive only got to watch a couple clips through work today but this Interview looks like a Must❤❤
There's nothing worse than having to tell a parent that their child is dead. I had to tell both my Mother and Father seperately about my sister and the sounds and expressions will never leave me.
Damn, dude had rigor mortis, and he's still trying to save him.
At that certain time. Rigor Mortis does go away after a bit. Relatively fresh death.
So sorry, for this guy.
one of the most mentally strong human ive ever seen. Absolute legend💪
I am going through a lot the past couple of years, and ever since I have stumbled upon your channel a few months ago, I listen to you when shit is getting so incredibly heavy. You are naturally funny and a free spirit and watching you makes my day better. You’re amazing. Please don’t ever change and thank you for making your podcast 😢
I don't know who you are but I feel the same way you do about the show...who ever you are please just keep your head up and try to remain positive... I'm going through a lot as well but trust me...things will get better in time
Ryan has been through so much and was able to come out the other side. He has much on his shoulders
I lost my mother to an opiate overdose 12 years ago this year. No matter what anyone says, the pain never gets better, it never goes away. You just get better at hiding it. I miss you mom
Heartbreaking. I’m a recovering opiate addict and got clean 7 years ago and my kids were 11 and 9 I got sober. I think of how I could have died and left them and I promise your mom didn’t want to leave you. She thought there was time and her time ran out. The love of a mother has no bounds. She is loving you from a different place now but I promise she is still with you.
@@kittermum why are you out here trying to make me cry at work? 😭 Thank you
@@commandershepard4235I just want to hug you hun ❤ please just know your mom never stopped loving you or wanting to be the mom you needed. The disease of addiction is horrible for all those affected.
@@kittermum well said
I went through exactly the same thing, except it was my daddy
From someone that has experienced something similar to this, I’m sorry you had to go through that brother. He’s in a better place now, never forget that.
This is such a hard situation to go through. My best friend also overdosed at my house one day and I preformed CPR until the paramedics showed up. My arms burned so bad from the pumping and he took his last breath in my face but I was still in denial even when they put him on the stretcher and took his body away. I'm sorry you had to go through that also. It really is tough on a person mentally. My prayers are with you❤
Sorry for your loss my man. Thank you for sharing your story.
God that’s rough. Been there more times than I like to think about. Lost my best friend the same way. We both started using around the same time but we were friends long before either of us did that. Like since middle school. I saved his life once when we first started, and again from long distance by calling his gf who got to him and called 911 just in time. But the third time I wasn’t there and I didn’t know. It pains me bc if I had been there or somehow knew about it he’d still be alive. But I wasn’t able to be in a whole other state to know that. I feel for this guy. One of the best episodes I’ve seen on this show. Many ppl think they understand addiction but unfortunately it doesn’t matter who you are you won’t understand it fully until you’ve gone through it. Everybody is different.
I understand fully. Had a ex go out that way because I wasn't there. Plus a lot of friends
Just finished this interview.
This man sacrefied alot, for other people's sake.
His mental health, for the times he had to watch absolutely discusting things. And he himself had gone through alot.
Biggest respect to this man ❤
Continue your good work Ryan!
My husband lost his twin to addiction. He and I are both recovering opiate addicts and got ourselves clean before it was too late, but his brother succumbed to the disease and I see the pain and grieving my husband goes through, it’s devastating.
So very sorry 😞
All these people with loved ones passed from drugs, need to get together and swamp the homes and offices of the people who produce it, with snail mail letters in paper, of their harrowing stores. I am so sorry to hear what you’ve been through .
Ryan has been so vilified by the media but everything I've heard him say on this podcast just tells me he's a good man. I can't imagine what that's like. Thank you for sharing your story, Ryan. I pray I never have to experience such a horrific thing. It gives me a level of respect for anyone that has had to go through such a nightmare and are still able to function and live.
I'm a recovering addict. I've lost too many people to count now. I've used since I was 16, I just turned 30 and have 1 year and 4 months sober. While I was in my addiction seeing people die was like breathing air, especially when your perception is so warped and looking back at it now hurts more than when it was actually happening from how numb I was. I can only imagine how hard it is for him.
I went threw the same thing.Very traumatizing to pull somebody off a couch and that there still in the same position as they where when they where sitting.It’s very very strange seeing blue feet and a face with blood coming out there nose and feeling a stiff body is very very traumatic.I had to call the cops and tell his family it happens everyday and it’s very sad to think about it.
I feel you brother ! The same exact thing happened to me a few months ago. He took his on life . Only 24.
This dude has a good soul! I just finished listening to this whole podcast today. He’s doing some great work, helping a lot of people. Respect, Ryan
This guy is a hero….and should be given an award! I wish I could get his help to find the person who sold my brother fentanyl in 2018 which killed him. The following day the dealer who sold the fentanyl, text my brother Gabriel’s cellphone saying; “You alive bitch?” His girlfriend who was there at the time took off with all his and my dads old comics and left the Ontario with his things. My brother was in recovery after my dad died. No one even cared about what happened to my brother except me. I tried to get them to please go after the person who gave my brother the fentanyl but….The cops wouldn’t even investigate. 27 years old. He was my best friend in the whole world and I miss him dearly. I feel my brother close and all around me. Now I search for him every night in my dreams.
End the search, my love. He is right there with you. In your heart. ❤❤❤
never tried to trace the number? you can use various databases to look up numbers, assuming he wasn’t using a VOIP. most dealers aren’t that smart tho.
@@ogkb one of my biggest regrets is not texting the dealer back to tell him he killed my little brother. I was worried I would have interfered with a potential investigation. I contacted the police several times to investigate and eventually was told if I called anymore they wouldn’t do anything. This was at the end of 2018 when police didn’t care about anyones death associated with fentanyl. I’m very suspicious about my brother death all around. My brother was about to sue a big hospital for beating the living shit out of him after he had surgery done on his hand and was directed after waking up from surgery to go down the hall to use the pay phone to make a call. They didn’t let him use the phone at the nursing station. The video I was emailed by my brother was security footage of their security coming from behind while my brother was on the phone and the other hand in a soft cast from the micro surgery he just hand to reattach all his fingers because he put his hand through a tile cutter accidentally after trying to return to work after CAMH discharged him the first time. Saying he wasn’t in need of their care; (despite me and my brother begging for their help.) they had previously diagnosed him with psychosis episodes. He was paranoid beyond words and had been in and out of shelters after doing 8 months behind bars for stealing chocolate bars and a pack of cigarettes at a gas station wearing a Batman mask. He was abused sexually assaulted while there and just needed a bed. I had been trying to take care of my brother the best I could since he was 15 and I was 18. When I was 25 and had my first child he moved in with our father and unfortunately inherited a heroine addiction. He wanted help and was trying to get clean and go back to school; to study computer sciences and programming. He was so incredibly intelligent and funny. Pete Davidson actually reminds me so much of him. His name is Gabriel Ram on Facebook. Please look him up🤍🙏🏼 he was the light in my life and best friend. He protect me growing up when our mom left my dad. He relapsed after my dad died which led him to using again and working for a shady contractor where he eventually put his hand through the saw machine. After he was beaten up by security at the hospital and the kicked and smashed his hand in a cast he needed to go back into emergency surgery and was unable to use it or work. Again trying to get him help at CAMH. Their psychiatrist specifically told me; this isn’t the Ritz Carlton and they needed their beds for priority patients. They sent him away only because my brother was so funny and used it as a defence mechanism cheering people up so much the hospital staff didn’t like or appreciate it. My brother gave people my number and for months after his dead had random people calling my phone from nurses to patients talking about how he brightened up their day and he was the reason they didn’t want to commit suicide. I just had my son a year before and right before Christmas and my 30th birthday I had my first episode of sleep paralysis in 15 years; which I saw a demon infront of me. Face to face and we both fell to the ground. I eventually managed to break free from this paralyzed state and awoke crying and screaming my husband comforting me I checked the time and fell back to sleep. Normally I would have called my brother and still regret not doing so. 6:30 that morning they called from the hospital saying my brother overdosed. The told us it happened around 3:30 in the morning… same time as my paralyzing nightmare…. I was in shock and begged begged and begged for them to bring him back. He was an organ donor and that was their only concern at that point; eventually they put him on a dialysis machine and after their tests said all his organs were “unsalvageable because they had been deprived of oxygen for too long.” At that point I had to accept he was gone. …They said he fell asleep face down into a pillow and his brain swelled so bad it was going into his neck and in between him moving beds in the hospital he again somehow was taken off his oxygen machine for almost 8 minutes. I don’t know how the fuck all this could have happened. He was clean and CAMH put my brother not into a rehab like they promised but into a “safe injection site” where they were addicts volunteering there and non of them encouraged my brother to stay clean. They told him is was okay and safe to use there. A month in, he told me I couldn’t come with the kids and described the place to me… I could tell he was using again and pleaded with him to try to go back to the hospital. The second time he called I missed it. The next call I got he overdosed. Toxicology report said; “accidental fentanyl overdose.” He was clean so getting laced coke basically killed him with his tolerance being so low at that point he probably didn’t realize what he was given or how much he was taking nor did he know it was laced with fentanyl. So you asked why I didn’t trace the number afterwards words; it crossed my mind many many time in the last 5 1/2 years. If I ever found out who killed my brother; I would be in jail for the rest of my life. I have two kids and I can’t abandon them. I know what it feels like growing up with parents and I won’t ever put myself in a position to do that. I’m going to school in September to study; behavioural sciences….because I chose to do it instead of going after the people who killed my brother. Karma come for everyone. I’m doing this to live for my family and honour my brother who without him I wouldn’t be here. He saved my life many times. So I’m pushing myself to go to school not just for myself but for my children and my brother Gabriel.🤍
My friend, your search for your brother in your dreams is similar to hunting your cars and realizing they were in your hand the whole time. He has never left you. Look in the mirror, in your heart and in your memories.....he is still there and always will be.
@@CaraRamzi🥺so sorry.....🙏✌️❤ & success👍🥹
Deepest Sympathies to this young man. So very brave telling his story...I pray he has support & has come to terms & found peace💟☮🌈🍀
This guy has earned my respect bro ion even know the mf but hes a real life internet hero bros we should all be like this
How 'bout not referring to him as a "mf"...that would be the first place you could show your respect for this person you don't know.
Here you are, speaking out 💎 i am very proud to live in this spectecular Times people fight for truth and facing reality as it truly is. I'm all in doing my Part in this cruel environment. People please wake up
I lost my best friend to accidental suicide. I was 3 feet from him when he shot himself in the head. I have severe PTSD from it. I know exactly what dude is going through. February made 3 years and It still doesn't seem real. I call his phone just begging for him to pick up. I was never the same man...
Thanks for sharing Dom ❤
Im so very sorry.
Found mine maybe twenty minutes after a deliberate suicide by gunshot to the head. Over twenty years now... it's still right there behind my eyes😢
I am so sorry for your loss. I know nothing I can say would help but, please know that people care what you have been through. I hope you find peace in your life & comfort for your soul. 💟☮🌈🍀
I’m so very sorry you went through that and your loss of your friend . 😢😞 I pray you find peace living with the big picture of eternity in mind . Though their life was far too short , they impacted yours and their life matters the same as any of ours does . 🙏😔❤️
Thank you for sharing your painful experience, addiction is a huge problem in America but also worldwide , may everyone suffering addiction heal ❤ you are loved
I feel for this man and his best friend. But in San Francisco they allow more of this decay and sorrow to happen "because we shouldn't deny them" smh
That's how men cry, few tears and bottle it up. Stay strong brothers.
It’s so painful to lose someone we care about. Like a physical pain. But there’s no pain killers for it. It can drive u mad to know that u never know when it returns and how long it’ll stay each time. Hits u like a tsunami every time. Scared me every time till date. Like watching urself writhing and being helpless or even unwilling to do anything about it. It’s a petrifying experience.
I’m so sorry!!
Me too.
@M I A yep. For me with losing best friend the same way or my dad from cancer I almost don’t want to be successful bc they won’t be here to see it. You know what I mean? May sound goofy to a lot of ppl but I know I’m not the only one.
I just posted above before seeing this comment did I found my best friend who is the male hanging few years back. I moved the nearest table over and got up on it and somehow was able to lift his body weight and get the noose from under his chin around his neck... Sorry I'm stammering I got it from around his neck like going over his chin and his body fell and it taco'd backwards and this man's story brought me right back to that moment. It's an experience I don't wish on anyone in fact I'm sending everybody that has had to deal with that all of the love and goodness I can.
@@pab1381 I lost my dad to cancer in 2008. I've had a few friends that are dealing with losing their parents or anyone close to them that my only advice is to not have any coulda shoulda woulda's. When my father went I didn't have any otherwise I wouldn't be here today I'm sure of it. And it's crazy that the only thing left of them is memories. That being said you've got to live in their honor for lack of better term. Make them proud of you! And I don't mean success-wise because ultimately your being successful does not amount to anything but paper (money) and things. What I really mean when I say make them proud of you is to become a good human. Have good morals and ethics and do the right thing. Be kind. That's ultimately the only real thing of value in this world. I know it sounds very hippie-esq of me and my father was a biker through-and-through. He was well respected and he treated others with respect and lived honorably. But, I hope you see the point in all that. I really do understand exactly what you meant and can relate to how you feel as well.
@@LaylaLeft thank you and sorry to hear about your dad too. My dad passed 2 years after yours in 2010. I absolutely try to be the best person I can be. Almost to the point where ppl tell me I have to be tougher but it’s not in me anymore. I’m sick of seeing evil or mean spirited ppl. But I get what you mean though. Thank you. Hope all is well otherwise!
I lost my sister 9 years ago in awful circumstances. Something you never get over losing someone you love and admire so much
Lost my best friend to fentanyl od his parents found him the last text he ever sent was to me 10 min before he passed saying how much he loved me and my family, his last sentence in the message was “ you’ll always be my best friend but more importantly you’ll always be family “
All these people with loved ones passed from fentanyl, need to get together and swamp the homes and offices of the people who produce it, with snail mail letters in paper, of their harrowing stores. I am so sorry to hear what you’ve been through .
@@waffle_chair9269It is not the manufacturer’s fault, but the consumer’s fault. From the last text message sounds like this person was saying his goodbyes. Maybe this person intentionally overdosed himself. If this person would have not found drugs, maybe he had done it a different way. Regardless still sad 😢
My sincerest sympathies for the loss of your best friend. My daughter was released from prison her parting 'gift' was two boxes of Narcan .. It's a horror reality that these poor souls suffering from addiction are everywhere in every walk of Life.
I was that best friend before. By some miracle my friend was an EMT, and an addict as well, and she was able to resuscitate me. Still shot up the next day like i never died. Pre fentanyl days. Addiction is brutal. Lost many friends. So glad i was able to get clean.
I'm sorry you suffered too on that day along with your friend. I'm sorry for your loss, his family and friends.
I hope your good memories with your friend bring you comfort on the days you need it or when sad, knowing it's okay to be is a reflection on your character and knowing you care too.
Thank you for allowing yourself to share your vulnerability too and not only your professional knowledge and skills.
MK
Australia
We need more of this dude...
What a champ...
the side shot was not only respectful but deeply powerful
So sorry for your loss. Keep sharing your story!! God bless you 🤗🤗
Very respectful for his moment caught in his emotions. I can't imagine that pain. Thanks for sharing
Bro, this interview was real as fuck.
Not that the others aren’t by ANY means. Ryan is a great interviewer/host/whatever.
Thanks for opening up our eyes to reality.
This man is so wonderful…. He’s been thro so much
I came to comment on the switch of camera angles; I’m overwhelmingly appreciative with seeing that’s most of the comments here. Job well done.
That man is a true friend!
Bless you brother. I hope you recover from this trauma.
My late father died in my arms 2008, something I think of each day and a vision that never escapes me.
May God walk with you, guide and comfort you. You’ll one day be reunited. Much love from my family and I to you and yours brother 💙🙏🏻⚖️
Beautiful touch with the camera angle at that moment. Tasteful and respectful. Whoever came up with that is a fucking genius. Being born in the early 80’s my generation seemed to have been ravaged by addiction and I lost a few friends especially back in the 00’s & 2010’s and it sucks.
Shawn Ryan is a better therapist than 90% of therapists!
These men are amazing for what they have done. They need to be awarded
This guy had/has a rough time. So glad he can talk about it. GOD BLESS You!🙏❤️
I am sorry for your loss!! You can see he went back to that exact moment in real time like as if it just happened. This man carries a heavy burden on his shoulders each day! That was some heavy stuff!
😢🙏
Thanks for sharing your truth
@shawnryanclips love your work man I can't explain how rare it is to find a show that's as real as yours from the people you interview or when you talking from you point of view. It's something that grounds me when I need it. Same thing happen to me found my older brother overdosed when I was 18 in 2003 that was 20 yrs ago but me and my family still feel the effects of him not here but we have faith 🙏. Great work like always 👍
This guy is seriously just an amazing human. 🙏🏽
I'm sorry for your loss brother. Thank you for doing what you do .
😢...you are absolutely a good person...
Much love and respect ❤ I'm so sorry for your loss. Praying you heal as much as possible. You're a amazing person and I know you truly loved your friend ❤
Drug abuse is heartbreaking. I've lost loved ones. I know others who have. To all those who have as well, I pray for all of us.
one of the most interesting episodes ever, shawn’s been killing it lately
God bless you Man. I'm sorry you went through this😢
😭. This is a huge loss. He had a best friend🙏 May your story save so many Sir. Your contribution as a hacker is SUCH A BIG DEAL to society, to the children of our planet. Thank you, thank you🙏