I'm sure she didn't mean to make it come out like that, but it's just hilarious that on one side we have "make six figures, be whatever height they want" and on the other "not be on the left, not be on antidepressants, not be obese" and somehow they're even being compared as too high standards.
Well women have the impetus to be more selective and society makes clear that their value starts high peaking from young age because they are nature, whereas it tends to be exactly the inverse of that for male side. So I think it has a lot to do with that selection bias (also not all males are to reproduce, even male to female population is slightly higher and this all tends to be the case in animals), coupled with that biological related selection precondition and consequence. And then thereafter you could take into account cultural shift and other factors, including the pathology from radical ideologies & movements like modern accepted feminism.
So there's nuances from internal and external dynamics which inform those differences and implication in average standards (or distorted perception via social media which doesn't show you how it actually plays out in the real world pragmatically).
@@captaintac3115which is to say the average woman is absolute trash if fit off antidepressents are as rare as 1% hyper performing men. They have to put 5% effort, not eat the second slice of cake, while buddy makes a whole elite career and wins the genetic lottery.
The unmediated part isn’t wild considering social media. These newer generations who had social media during developmental stages are suffering and it’s like every other person is on medication for depression and anxiety due to social media. Look at all the lawsuits going on, it breaks my heart that people had to go through that stuff. It’s a social media problem and that’s why it’s hard to find someone not medicated, because everyone is on social media and over time it affects the brain.
Not on the left, not on antidepressants and not overweight are so much more reasonable than the standards of that 'man in finance' song. makes me chuckle that that is the equivalency.. I'm cooked as they say
Her examples were lopsided, but let's not pretend like there aren't unrealistic expectations that men put on women. It goes both ways, and pretending that it's worse on one side than the other is ignorance.
I mean only 20% of younger women are are conservative so then you take the other two off and your really getting down to a low number, not as low as what the women she described want but an unfortunately low one none the less
I think she meant all those traits in aggregate, not just that one trait. Though not communicated well, what I think she’s trying to say is that many of us have these lists of traits that *must* be met by our prospective partner, and have a hard time realizing that the number of people that meet ALL the desired traits are vanishingly small. We are all works in progress.
Weird how the examples she cited for standards men are held to are "six figures, 6'5" but for women it was dropped to "isn't obese, isn't medicated". Like how do you compare those in the same sentence and not see an imbalance? One is be top 1% and the other is take care of yourself.
I think the point is those are not the same. She’s saying don’t have stupidly high and unimportant standard for men (there’s nothing wrong with a short blue collar men) when women are lazy, don’t take care of their health, and don’t have any values. The moral of the story is do better and the probability is you will eventually attract some who does better also.
@@PanBami2023to be fair a lot of this newer generation is on anti depressants. She’s not wrong about that. Depending on what age you are for not wanting someone on anti depressants it’s going to be hard to find. Literally look at all the lawsuits going on right now with snapchat and instagram. These apps are destroying kids lives so no shocker they need anti depressants.
She said politically on the left side, not on anti depressant et not obese. She has an american accent. Most american women are overweight, the majority of women are progressist in western countries (women's rights are pushed by democrats) and you can read many studies about women's depression and anxiety. You can be a hot women, democrat and depressed. She hasnt mentioned attractiveness
@@gareth2736 IDK where this applies BUT, in my country no women takes antidepressants, majority are fit and they bring value to the man and i will gladly say a woman who bring value to her man and makes him better and helps him the way he wants to be helped, she deserves the world and more
@@gareth2736 real life example , Connor McGregor's wife, in his early career she worked three jobs and told him to just train and prepare for his fights so he can only focus on one thing, look now where he is, you can see that he literally gave her the world
The difference is that being 6'5", working in finance, and having blue eyes are all superficial traits, and they limit women's ability to find a partner because it's 0.1% of men. Whereas not being on the left, not being on antidepressants and not being obese are reflections of your values, which are a completely normal thing to aspire for with a partner.
Functional equivalent is a woman around 21, 120 lbs with a slim waist, and D cups. Has a lot of resources (eggs) and superior genetics that indicate good health
I’m sure for a guy finding a woman who is conservative and is not dumb and or fat is a challenge. Now that is difficult to find. Thats why most guys don’t like talking politics bc they know their abhorrent views are a turn off for most women
I am the 6ft tall pretty finance guy but tbh the 4 girls I dated that where "in my status" kinda just didn't make me happy at all. They had shallow preferences and didn't actually seek me out for my companionship. Which broke my heart. And made me feel like im having my soul sucked. Like they just think I'm gonna be this perfect man for them. I ended up marrying this girl who is just pretty average looks. But she is a intelligent woman who actually really cares about my interests and not how I present myself to the world. So those pretty high standard woman. Yall usually aren't missing anything. They can be so dang demanding for materialistic things. You wanna find a girl who isn't obsessed with looks status and power. It drives you nuts to be around those.
I always say you’ll both be old and wrinkly eventually so find someone you enjoy being around and have good conversation with. Congrats on your marriage, sounds like the foundation is sound.
I’ve always wondered how some people can enjoy their relationships. I’m almost afraid to become successful at anything because I don’t want to attract certain types of people.
It's not settling, it's understanding that you have set a standard you yourself can't meet. If you say you want a man who has a 6 pack, makes 6 figures, is 6'4, that man is literally in the top .1 percent. As a woman, you need to be a 21 year old yoga instructor who both models full time and won the baking contest last year, and is known as the kindest person in town.
@@Icemario87 shame. I wanted to see what people would say to this, but cowards working at TH-cam don’t want us to have an open discussion so they shadow ban us
The problem is this: - Height is superficial - Eye color is superficial - Money is important, but people don't know what an average wage is Concerning the expectations to females: - Being on the left can ruin your life - Antidepressants can ruin your life - Being obese can ruin your life So women could easily drop most of their criteria while men must not.
superficial standards arent a problem, only when they are above your level. Also settling would be to go for one below your level when the talk is about going for your level.
@@commonsensecraziness7595 Correct. But women think THAT standard is MORE ridiculous than demanding a man be MORE than an entire standard deviation taller than the average...
Good luck, 25% of women are on some form of MH medication. I also think it's truly hilarious how they claim to be masters of emotion yet need extra help from big daddy pharma to control said emotions lol.
Yes, because drug-resistance increased over time, not to mention all kind of hormone imbalance from side effects, and wait until they forget to take the pill...
Who cares really anyway? Are people not allowed to deal with depression? I never understood the stigma of avoiding people who already deal with shit. Seems pretty selfish to me.
I actually thought my standards were too high once upon a time. I wanted a man who was strong and sure and yet kind and gentle. He also had to want children as much as I did and he had to be faithful to me. I’d see my friends hook up and date and have their pick and then wonder why I couldn’t have that. One day, my (now late) fiancé and I were talking about what we wanted (this was pretty early in our relationship) and I decided to tell him, warning him that they might be a bit outlandish. I told him and he was quiet and I thought he was thinking “Damn, I picked someone who thinks my standards are too high.” Instead he looked at me and said “That’s a baseline.”
Gotta love dating in 2024: Women's standards: 6'5", works in finance, blue eyes, mad game, six pack abs, 6 inches in the pants, etc, etc..... Men's standards: Don't be crazy
You forgot their “trust fund, also wealthy parents, has free time to take you on vacation every month, has several luxury/sports cars, has a big boat…”
also dont wear glasses unless she has a harry potter fetish. Went on dates with my contacts in everything is cool then when i wear my glasses blammo ghosted
"Not on the left, not antidepressants, not overweight.." Overlaps. There are incredible amounts of correlation between those three, making the man's desire a lot more likely and possible. Meanwhile, what is the overlap between height, career prospects, and eye color? So the guys' desired outcome can occur what? 10% of the time? Meanwhile, not even 10% of men are over 6'5". This gets compounded by the career and eye color.
There’s actually a lot of overlap with height and career success, but I agree with the statement that women are disregarding entire huge groups of men who would, in all likelihood, be fantastic partners. She’s right too, it’s about knowing what you bring to the table! I stay home with our kids while my husband chases work success and that dynamic works pretty well. He does happen to be 6’3” with blue eyes 😂but he works in tech and *probably* wouldn’t have gone for a woman that superficial
@@kaylachristenson9664your drawing a flas picture here. Yes there is a slight correlation, but what you say is a lot of overlap is minimal compared to the overlap og talked about.
@@Swatotastic that's why you got to tell guys to get in shape and get your money right. Then you can have anybody. I think he is in his 30s, and she is 22. Also, I thought she made fun of fresh and fit for saying the same thing .. she was definitely hypocritical on the fresh and fet it seems
I got married young to an imperfect person. I was also very immature and very imperfect. We had no money! And we grew up together. Here's a plan: get married and help each other to become better.
While this is great, I know it doesn't work all the time. Health, finance and career are decisions that people just make. A person who doesn't want to be prudent, lose weight and take health seriously or prioritize academics for career advancement won't appreciate someone else trying to help most of the time. You can take a horse to the river but you can't force it to drink. How long are you going to keep helping? Once you slow down, the person falls back to their old ways.
Rare idea to see now, strangely. A lot of bullshit about having to have "won life" first before I even say hi to a woman. First world privilege to have such a clean outlook, not to mention time wasting and miserable. I wanted what you describe, but women have been flaky shit and now I'm 36, so now of course everything *is* expected of me, with no support from any of them. Just show up and eat. Well, I don't have the cake, because their predecessors psychologically ruined me and I've always struggled to see the point in a very rigged game at the best of times. Financial cuckoldry to the government and migrants = successful "normal" person. But then you're still a loser if you're going pay check to pay check as a rent slave. Doesn't that all sound so much better than having someone early on to tackle it with? Lol "red pill / conservatives" tbh
To be fair, if you listen to interviews of the girl who mad the original statement, she says it was purely satirical to call out girls' crazy standards today and hoped someone would turn the quote into a song/music
I think watching a video called "joookes" by a YT channel called "hoe_math" would greatly inform you of the level of satire as compared to reality contained within the original statement (not dunking here, I legitimately think it'd be informative)
I see a few instagram influencers who have labelled themselves as comedians and essentially do skits as slightly more caricatured versions of themselves. It could be satire, or it could be exactly who they are and they have an angle of deniability if they ever get called out on it Is it still satire if she were to eventually end up with a man in finance, 6’5 blue eyes?
Truth height not in a man control and getting a 6 Figures salary is very hard and also very unlikely. We could get a 6 pack too. But personally I'm not looking for a woman who is a supermodel body. Just standard not overweight. That's like average 7 out of the 1 to 10 hot range.
Maybe it's just me, but when you get the feels for someone, it's got nothing to do with a list. It often confuses you and takes you by surprise; and it's amazing. It's not a purchase.
I Wouldn't be so sure about that if I where you. Be more self aware and you will identify that you too have your preferences. I for example am as every guy attracted to pretty women, but in today's age you will see a lot of pretty women. So the purely physical attractiveness is more like a threshold to me. Once the women surpasses the relatively low threshold in physical attractiveness, her sharing ms values became infinitely more important than any increase in physical attractiveness. It's like a shock when I find out a women that I find even remotely physically attractive shares many of my values.
@@yannik1679 No, he's right. It happened to me. I thought I had a certain list of preferences, and then I met the right girl and realized I didn't care about a lot of the things I thought I cared about.
The issue is dating apps and social media. That feeling you're talking about basically never happens through the digital realm, and if it does it can often be an illusion that gets completely dashed when you actually meet the person in real life So much of romance and attraction is chemical, it's biological, it's human all too human, it cannot be replicated through a screen. There's no replacement for face to face social interaction.
Those standards just get you in the door. That doesn’t even include whether the person is actually attractive, reasonably hygienic, or emotionally stable
When you're a 10, or at least believe you are, then most options will seem like settling. I think this begins with social media and dating apps inflating people's perceived value of themselves. It's only when you disconnect from these things and exist in the real world for a while that get a much more realistic sense of where you stand.
The thing is, if you do hang out with women, in their 20s or early 30s at least, you'd see that they have amazing options. And I've seen plenty of women who actually married those guys. The reality is there's really a lot of high standard men out there.
@@florianb3935 I've known women who can easily outsleep their dating market value. Of course they couldn't lock down a guy that is EASILY 2 deviations above them in said value if not 3. Unregulated markets fail not only the dating market.
So I want to point out the comparison here. Comparing men to someone who is 6'5", works in Finance, and has blue eyes, vs someone who is not a leftist, not on antidepressants and not obese. Yeah, because those things are completely relatable.
And the far right extremism someone is trying to distance himself from. And the far right radical misogynist ones who say Harris has a wide nose. Then Brett’s nose. Genetics 😁
Obesity is a choice, but there’s nothing inherent wrong with taking anti-depressants. A significant part of our life experience is menstruation, menopause, and (if we have children) post-partum. All three are strongly linked to depression..
The best way of thinking about what you're looking for in a partner is values and character. The rest is just optics, which are also important at first, but they will change overtime and if you're values dont align there's no foundation. Relationships don't last anymore because people are just focused on optics.
@AlexBahr-cr6kp sure, but if that's all there is, there really is nothing. I like to think of a partner as someone I not just love, but also like, if that makes sense. Then on the other hand I'm longtime single, never had a healthy relationship and should probably shut up😂😂😂
@@JacobsNews And he went on and became ever prosperous with a 20-year old girlfriend. And she became old, lonely, bitter, with an ever dwindling bank account and very expensive cats.
Really what they have is an overinflated sense of self worth that makes them think these smoking hot millionaires who can have anyone are just waiting for them.
The truth is very average women get men with "high stays" quite easily, at least during their twenties. Who's to say their self worth is inflated then?
6 foot 6 figures and Now a dad bod married and happy to my chunky 5 foot woman with a heart of gold and our 3 children. She was chunky when i met her and won my heart, a Christian woman. To be honest i think i need her more then she needs me. Shes is an amazing woman
Where is love and where is respect in all of this? You could be anyone and love anyone because of who they are. You don’t select a life partner off of a checklist, you just feel it
I want a woman who is Christian like myself, not overweight, takes care of herself (healthy sleep, diet, exercise), doesn’t follow stupid trends, isn’t addicted to attention or social media, loves her family, has hobbies, and a sense of humour.
Absolutely based list. I'm 100% the same. But even though this is 100 times more reasonable and easier than "millionaire 6'5 blue eyes" we still probably won't find any. The bar for women is as low as "not a leftist on antidepressants".
@@KooroshFarahani I mean the list I made describes an ideally normal woman, a normal person, but ironically you’re right - nowadays a normal woman is a unicorn.
You got married just before things went completely insane. Dating apps and social media have really ruined women. I’m old enough to remember before vs. after.
I think people get in love with the idea of a partner but not the reality. Truth is you are dealing with a person with both strengths an weaknesses just like you. The other person doesn't need to be perfect they just need to be perfect for you.
@@JacobsNewsthey can want that but most set themselves up not to do that and bring tons of baggage. Watch what they do and not what they say. Bringing 50k of student debt and a traveling habit, credit card debt, a card note - wanting to drive late model cars then expecting a man to pay for all of that, while simultaneously voting for leftist garbage that makes everything expensive. All of these actions fly in the face of what they then say they want.
as a man thats 6'2" 190 fit, making over 100k as an electrician, i still get rudely rejected on a regular basis for no apparent reason. i hate california
Because this narrative that men get rejected for not making money, isn't universally true. Even if you are 6ft+, blond, blue eyes, make 250k+...chances are you may still get rejected. On the other hand 5'7" dude with 100k salary maybe livin' happily with his wife. It's about finding that person that fits with you. I'm someone who believe luck plays lots in marriage which is a gamble. I'm from a traditional family which still follow arranged marriages system
The table doesn’t exist. You’re either compatible or you’re not, you’re going to mesh well, or you won’t. We create a significant amount of our own problems. Self awareness is key 🔑 for longevity in any human capacity.
Men have become self aware enough to know the probability of finding a woman who fits the basic description in the video is almost as likely as finding bigfoot sitting on a picnic _table_ in the forest.
The fact she can contrast the two levels of standards women want vs what men want without emphasizing how absurdly insane the women are and sticking up for the men having the SMALLEST of standards is crazy.
I promise you Brett didnt marry down. She def married a chad. She was giving no average low income men a chance. Sje just wants all the rest of us to do so 😂
She isn't an average girl either. Very beautiful, pretty smart, has lots of money, healthy looking and apparently traditional to a certain extent. What else can a man ask for ? She's the female version of Chad!
@@anyamet777 there are a lot of beautiful young women out there. The point is Brett is always supporting the idea that women need to lower standards and also be a stay at home mom. Yet she didnt lower her own standards and shes rocking that career.
I want a partner with a secure attachment style or at least aware of attachment styles and working towards secure, emotionally intelligent, and values me as a person not supply. Which I realize are probably as unrealistic expectations as a man in finance, trust fund, 6’5”…
I'll tell you one thing, I'm a dude and I'm willing to bet no man knows what a "secure attachment style" even is...let alone be willing to engage in whatever the hell that is with you. XD
The type of guys who know about attachment styles are not the type of guys women want to date. But if I have to guess, your idea of secure attachment is a guy who doesn't ask you where have you been of you come home in 2 or is not upset when you dont text back for 18 hours lol.
@@davideisenhower1342 All I hear is "If I get a guy I want to keep living my life the way I was before we got together." Sorry, THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS! lol
I think “not obese” could be translated into “is healthy” or “cares about their health and diet” and that was one for me. I wanted someone who also lived a healthy lifestyle. That’s okay to want that. We all have our preferences. To me it showed me that person could think about their future and make good, healthy decisions.
Ive listened to podcasts from both sides one of the biggest thing i find troubling is the "what do you bring to the table" question. If you are truly looking for someone to BUILD a life with, the question that should be asked is...." are you going to help me build the table"
Your standards should be aligned to your own value. If you are an amazing man/woman, you can have high standards. Problem is: most people vastly overestimate their own value. Unfortunately we have a „everyone is a winner“ attitude in our society instead of a „everyone can be a winner if they put in the work“ mentality.
That’s true, however most men have reasonable standards, Brett even listed them and tried to compare them to ridiculous female standards. Wanting a not obese, not a leftist, not on mental meds woman is basement level Standards, and so few young women meet these standards it’s unbelievable. Keep in mind decades ago the majority of young women EASILY met these standards.
@@Joe-hz1nw I agree with you. I think having higher standards than men is reasonable for women because their mating strategy bases on hypergamy and aiming higher can yield better outcomes. The current unreasonably high standarts come partly from the illusion of having a extremely large dating pool, due to dating apps, social media etc. Thirsty men give many women the impression that their value is way higher than it actually is. Because of that many women won't settle for someone they mistakenly perceive as lower value, hence the high amoung of single people and situationships. Society has to adapt to our modern world and I think future generations might learn from our mistakes, but right now it's kind of shitty for young men (and also women, because they sure are not happy about not having stable relationships either).
I don't know why this isn't talked about, but about 20% of American women have genital herpes. That should definitely be on the list in front of obesity, political leaning, and depression.
@@SeraphimDragon I can't link you anything because the TH-cam comments section doesn't allow that, but you're a big boy, I'm sure you can Google it. America has seriously and intentionally downplayed its genital herpes problem, that's why you've never heard of its prevalence.
@@SeraphimDragon TH-cam comment section does not allow links, you'll have to find it yourself (something I'm sure you are capable of). America has seriously and intentionally downplayed its genital herpes problem, which is why you've never heard of it before.
@@SeraphimDragon Can't share it here due to TH-cam's strict guidelines (and auto-deleting all my replies). America has seriously and intentionally downplayed it's genital herpes problem, which is why you haven't heard of it.
@@SeraphimDragon ive known this even decades ago, america has always been known for having high rates of stds. From an outsode perspective, people here use condoms to avoid getting pregnant but americans use condoms to avoid stds because of how common it is there
There are tons of happily single and married perfectly content people both with and without kids. I make it a point to go out and get coffee, lunch, etc regularly and just be around normal people, not the hysterical 5% screaming on social media. If more did this you'd discover it's not that bad. Not that there's not unhappiness in the world, coz that's ludicrous. But it's not that bad.
@@gman7497while getting out there is great advice, one must also face the reality of things. The marriage rate & birth rate continues to collapse, young women vs. young men core values gap continues to widen. It’s not just social media.
I feel so fortunate to have gone through a painful, abusive relationship and come out the other side married to a woman I truly respect and adore. She’s not skinny, but she’s warm and accepts me with all my past trauma, helping me become a disciplined, humble, and secure man. I’ve learned to build wealth, live simply, and invest wisely. I no longer need alcohol or tobacco to cope. Now, I enjoy slow mornings, hiking or running for 1-2 hours, and growing in all aspects of life. Find a partner who brings out the best in you and isn’t just a shadow. It’s about uplifting each other and adding mutual value.
My ex-husband was/is 6’5” with Scandinavian heritage and a successful career (that I helped him build) but he was also an obese alcoholic who physically abused me… I’d much rather date based on how mentally stable and well adjusted someone is than on superficial “standards” and thankfully years later I met my now husband who is 5’11” with hazel eyes, happens to have a six-figure income (but drove a 90’s Corolla so I had no idea) and is sober, conservative, into power lifting and mountain biking, loves dogs, makes time for me, and treats me with respect 🥰
I'm sure you considered all those average 5'9" brown-eyed construction workers, accountants, teachers, and mechanics before marrying the tall (even 5'11" in well above average), rich (both with high incomes), and jacked (Viking genetics and a power lifter) men.
@@TasmanianWanderlust I give grace and respect when earned. And yes, that probably means I have many fewer friends than you. You post in a comment section unprompted, and I quote, “I’d much rather date based on how mentally stable and well adjusted someone is than on superficial “standards”… You also state the superficial standards of what I am assuming is at least one of 3 (or more) ex-husbands, and you state the superficial standards of your current husband. If only those three men who thought they had a lifetime partner and are now divorced, had taken your advice first.
I just think it's weird for both sides to be so involved with the idea of checklists. I get having standards, but whatever happened to just finding someone you care about, are attracted to, and enjoy being with?
Having a short checklist that is logical and reasonable makes sense. 1. Shared values - can’t raise kids without this. 2. are they relatively attractive (obese is not attractive) 3. are they mentally stable? (Self explanatory why this matters) 4. Are they decent with money? One of the top reasons for divorce is this, it cannot be ignored
People, with context from her own videos where she elaborates on the topic, she didn’t explain the male equivalent well. What she meant was Not overweight -> Supermodel Not a leftist -> Super conservative, pre-ALL waves of the feminist movement, pregnant barefoot in the kitchen Not on Antidepressants -> Have absolutely no emotional or mental baggage, even if it is an actual medical condition or things like ADHD or chronic illnesses, or have absolutely no family trauma When you add these three up… yeah, you’d be hard pressed to find many women like this.
Lie, lie and lie. I'm too tired to explain it all,but I'll give you the obvious example, i find not ONE man who'd pick a "supermodel" over a curvy woman.
@@Gigachadbased-p34 Lie lie and lie? You must be very blind to the online dating sphere. And what do you mean “curvy”? Because “supermodels” *are* curvy. My point was that she elaborates these points differently than what she described, not that I think it is particularly commonplace. 🙄
If men were only looking for supermodels, then why are over 60% of men between 18-29 single while only 30% of women are single? You don't even know what men want.
Normalcy doesn’t sell on social media. So it’s flooded with everyone’s highlight reel or pseudo expression of their reality, aka, glitz and glam. That sells and gets engagement. It’s caused people to think that relationships need to be all about money, expensive trips and material possessions. You can certainly have money and true intimacy with a partner, but the money certainly won’t guarantee that. Once you’ve had a taste of the good life, it loses its luster very quickly and you find that the kindness and true vulnerability of someone is priceless in a relationship.
But "not on the left" means men want a traditional woman (on the right). It's not "little". It 100% doesn't compare to the "man in finance" standards but it's definitely not "reasonable" standards as knowing men who want a "traditional woman" in this day and age, usually means a woman who works a job AND maintains the household + raises kids without questioning it. That is FARRRR from being "just a reasonable standard".
Being with their equivalent is not settling at all, the fact that some people look at it like settling just prove that most people don't see others as also people but things, like a product or a gadget that could be upgraded somehow. Not to mention that when you are with somebody and you both like eachother there will always be room for self improvement and mutual improvement
by the numbers women get classified as obese much easier. my woman was 5'2 160 and the doctor told her she was obese not taking into consideration that she had hypergrowth in her breast and had j cups that weighed 20 pounds each. cut those off and shes 5'2 120.
How about we stop telling both men and women what their standards should and shouldn’t be. Each one of us has one life to live so live the way you want to. If you want your standards to be super high then that’s fine. Want to lower them? That’s ok too. Women wanting a rich man shouldn’t be shamed for having preferences just like men who want a skinny young girl shouldn’t be shamed either. It’s none of anyone’s business really. Focus on yourself do whatever you feel is right for you. If you end up married then great. If you end up single that’s also perfectly fine. Be a good person, be happy, don’t hurt others. Go for whoever you want it will all work out in the end
The problem is when they set their standards unreasonably high then attack others for not meeting them. The mindset of "well I'm single but I'm okay with that" doesn't exist practically
You also have to compromise in serious relationships and help each grow. Some say it’s not necessary about finding the one, it’s about making the one and there is some truth to that.
Not at all, look up obesity rates on the CDC website, they break it down by age as well. Not obese, not a leftist lunatic, not in tons of useless debt/bad with money, no b_st@rd kids in tow, 20’s is like 1% of women today. If you dig into the data it’s appalling. In 1960 the vast majority of young women EASILY met these basic standards and more. Compare those basic standards to wanting a 6ft 5 rich guy. It’s comical.
this is a lesson for girls--when you're young, study hard and get into ivy league schools. There, 6'5 guys who will be making 7 figures are a dime a dozen. Or even better, get the grades to work at an investment bank or hedge fund. There, literally every guy makes 6 or 7 figures and most are over 6'0
Only a woman would think female and male standards are comparable. However, she is correct that the number of women who can meet male standards is exceptionally small. But this isn't because they have to work hard, spend hours in the gym, or be genetically gifted. It's because to find a woman who hasn't conformed to feminist ideals and hasn't destroyed her ability to pair bond is extremely rare. Wanting a normal girl who isn't overweight, not on meds, is feminine, pleasant, and will respect her male partner shouldn't be too much to ask for. Apparently, it is, though. Even to DW sweetheart, Brett Cooper.
She used it as an example because the majority of men tend to vote conservative and the values gap between men and women is insane right now, particularly with young women.
@@Joe-hz1nwif someone’s “values”, as you put it, dictate that their spouse not have different political views then perhaps it’s those values that need reconsidering. Also it’s not the point but I’d feel amiss if I didn’t point out that once you get to the millennial generation(which she belongs to) that male majority gets flipped to the left(Pew Research;”A Deep Dive Into Party Affiliation”).
Come on Brett. ‘Not on antidepressants’ is a standard now? This kind of stigma made me lose years of my life to depression instead of just going and getting help from a professional. You can’t just fix a chemical imbalance by gritting your teeth. Antidepressants have changed my life and helped me overcome generations of mental health issues in my family. There is no shame in getting help.
1/3 of women 18-34 are on some sort of drugs like that, and the numbers continue to skyrocket, same with drinking and drug use. Magically overnight women didn’t just develop mental issues based on their genetics. It is how they are living, the choices they are making.
@@Joe-hz1nwwhat about people with ocd, schizophrenia and severe depression who struggle with the most basic things from brushing their teeth to studying for an major exam or going to work? Yes therapy and exercise work but the people actually going through these things know its easier said than done, they need medicines to lessen their symptoms to give them a push to get up and try to get better. What should change is that there should be an increase in proper assessments, people get diagnosed way too often- atleast in my country. But for the ones actually suffering, taking medicines to feel better is completely okay, and for the side effects, there is no medicine that doesnt have side effects. Living in agony is not fun, and it’s disgusting that she practically shamed people with mental disorders cuz she thinks every opinion that she has is correct.
@@mariposa424 Thanks for speaking out about that because many people like myself will push away medication and force themselves to suffer even if it just makes them worse. I have a couple conditions that as far as anyone knows there is no real way to cure it. A lot of mental health issues are a result of poor choices but I also think choices aren't in a vacuum of the person's mind but part of genetics and environment and negative feedback loops that often you can't realistically pull yourself out of even though in theory you feel like you have the free will to do it (although not consistently). I am unsatisfied with professional mental health and think maybe it should transform into more life coaching/accountability integration with traditional help. Medication should be offered with the understanding of a goal and what type of person you are whether it's for long term or short term use in conjunction with a therapist. It's too much of a disjointed industry where no therapist wants to take accountability and they don't want to blame the client (who often doesn't need more self criticism in many ways but perhaps needs healthy guided criticism). I could ramble a long time on this. Ultimately I think a lot of people especially on the right want to take accountability for their mind and don't trust experts and feel a failure if they are just on medication. And I wish the field of psychology was better and there was a better understanding of the nuances to accountability vs mental health being at fault. Because for me a lot of times I fail to see the distinction. It's easy to either feel like everything is your choice or just be mostly a victim to your circumstances.
Thanks for speaking out about that because many people like myself will push away medication and force themselves to suffer even if it just makes them worse. I have a couple conditions that as far as anyone knows there is no real way to cure it. A lot of mental health issues are a result of poor choices but I also think choices aren't in a vacuum of the person's mind but part of genetics and environment and negative feedback loops that often you can't realistically pull yourself out of even though in theory you feel like you have the free will to do it (although not consistently). I am unsatisfied with professional mental health and think maybe it should transform into more life coaching/accountability integration with traditional help. Medication should be offered with the understanding of a goal and what type of person you are whether it's for long term or short term use in conjunction with a therapist. It's too much of a disjointed industry where no therapist wants to take accountability and they don't want to blame the client (who often doesn't need more self criticism in many ways but perhaps needs healthy guided criticism). I could ramble a long time on this. Ultimately I think a lot of people especially on the right want to take accountability for their mind and don't trust experts and feel a failure if they are just on medication. And I wish the field of psychology was better and there was a better understanding of the nuances to accountability vs mental health being at fault. Because for me a lot of times I fail to see the distinction. It's easy to either feel like everything is your choice or just be mostly a victim to your circumstances.
@@mariposa424 Thanks for speaking out about that because many people like myself will push away medication and force themselves to suffer even if it just makes them worse. I have a couple conditions that as far as anyone knows there is no real way to cure it. A lot of mental health issues are a result of poor choices but I also think choices aren't in a vacuum of the person's mind but part of genetics and environment and negative feedback loops that often you can't realistically pull yourself out of even though in theory you feel like you have the free will to do it (although not consistently). I am unsatisfied with professional mental health and think maybe it should transform into more life coaching/accountability integration with traditional help. Medication should be offered with the understanding of a goal and what type of person you are whether it's for long term or short term use in conjunction with a therapist. It's too much of a disjointed industry where no therapist wants to take accountability and they don't want to blame the client (who often doesn't need more self criticism in many ways but perhaps needs healthy guided criticism). I could ramble a long time on this. Ultimately I think a lot of people especially on the right want to take accountability for their mind and don't trust experts and feel a failure if they are just on medication. And I wish the field of psychology was better and there was a better understanding of the nuances to accountability vs mental health being at fault. Because for me a lot of times I fail to see the distinction. It's easy to either feel like everything is your choice or just be mostly a victim to your circumstances.
Yeah they have more reasonable standards. A girl in her 20s who’s very attractive would pick someone 20 years older who is a millionaire everytime instead of a mechanic or electrician that’s her age and more attractive than the rich guy. Reverse it and the man would rather have the poor attractive girl to take care of. Online dating ruined our culture. 12 of men bang 80 percent of the women because their money standards are insane.
It's not about "settling" or even "being realistic", it's about viewing relationships -- and the opposite sex -- more positively *in general*. When you feel more grateful for the opportunity to have a relationship, and less entitled, you will be more likely to find one. We place all these preconditions on relationships because we have ceased to believe in them inherently. It's about looking for reasons to believe rather than demanding them.
"superficial" is a very important word here. Since when have huge chunks of society willingly shown themselves to be shallow, superficial, and hyper-materialistic?
I generally disagree with this. I don’t really understand the discussion about standards. Either you fall in love or you do not. Either you found your soulmate or you didn’t. Either you found someone you wanna raise a family with or you didn’t. The rest looks good on paper but doesn’t really matter.
Yeah but that’s the thing, there’s REASONS why you’d fall in love with someone or why you’d want kids with someone. It’s the basics of being in a relationship, yall need to be compatible.
@werst12345 How can you miss the point so thoroughly? When looking for a partner people value things more or less, you may value having say an intelligent or attractive partner, where many might not care at all, or only care that the person is 'good enough' in those regards as they have other values. Edit: And yes, you prevented yourself from being chosen (the 'happening' in this case) which is the very definition of 'preclude'. You seemingly Googled (and paraphrased) the definition, yet still chose to argue with me, probably due to poor comprehension. By your interpretation it would mean 'prevent existing', clearly incorrect. Why attempt to correct someone on the use of a word you yourself had to search the definition of? Are you so insecure that if you don't know the meaning of a word 'no one probably really does'?
She finishes it with saying “be aware of what your options are and what you’re bringing to the table.” If you ask a lot of girls what she brings to the table they’re so offended.😂😂😂
I'm sure she didn't mean to make it come out like that, but it's just hilarious that on one side we have "make six figures, be whatever height they want" and on the other "not be on the left, not be on antidepressants, not be obese" and somehow they're even being compared as too high standards.
I started laughing at the same moment…different standards 😂
Well women have the impetus to be more selective and society makes clear that their value starts high peaking from young age because they are nature, whereas it tends to be exactly the inverse of that for male side.
So I think it has a lot to do with that selection bias (also not all males are to reproduce, even male to female population is slightly higher and this all tends to be the case in animals), coupled with that biological related selection precondition and consequence. And then thereafter you could take into account cultural shift and other factors, including the pathology from radical ideologies & movements like modern accepted feminism.
So there's nuances from internal and external dynamics which inform those differences and implication in average standards (or distorted perception via social media which doesn't show you how it actually plays out in the real world pragmatically).
Meant it or not that was a perfectly accurate description. It really describes the dating market today. Time for us to raise our standards I'd say.
Right this one woman's anecdote is representative of what all men and women think. Brilliant.
If “not obese” is too picky then I’m happy to die alone.
haha, that can be changed if you want bro
Don't forget, she can't be on the left.
strong political opinions, taking antidepressants & obese - hard pass on even one
It's facts though 😂@@likearollingstone007
You and me both 😅
Sorry, but women wanting a top 1% man is not remotely the same as the guys' standards of just wanting a normal girl who's not fat
the majority of women today sadly are overweight. No it's not 99 percent but it's a majority.
Doesn't have to be the same but she is saying it's equally as rare
@@captaintac3115 Right. Normal women are as rare as a 1% man
@@captaintac3115 If they're equally rare, then that is a bad look for women these days.
@@captaintac3115which is to say the average woman is absolute trash if fit off antidepressents are as rare as 1% hyper performing men.
They have to put 5% effort, not eat the second slice of cake, while buddy makes a whole elite career and wins the genetic lottery.
In my favour, I know exactly what I bring to the table.
But to my detriment, that is because I'm a waiter.
😂 😂
You bring humor and a self-deprecating, humble attitude it seems. :)
Lmao
Underrated comment😂😂
@@PanBami2023 You are too kind
Comparing 6’5” and 6 figures to simply “not obese” and unmedicated is absolutely wild. Sign of the times
The unmediated part isn’t wild considering social media. These newer generations who had social media during developmental stages are suffering and it’s like every other person is on medication for depression and anxiety due to social media. Look at all the lawsuits going on, it breaks my heart that people had to go through that stuff.
It’s a social media problem and that’s why it’s hard to find someone not medicated, because everyone is on social media and over time it affects the brain.
"6 foot 5, six figure income, blue eyes"
"Not on the left, not on antidepressants, not overweight"
How are these even remotely comparable??
Well I guess it says something about the average woman in the USA 😂
The percentage of each group would be roughly the same
The 6'5 finance thing was an edm meme for a song. YW
@penderyn8794they weren’t anarchists. They were baristas at Starbucks who bitched about capitalism on their iPhone 🙄🤦🏼♂️
From a statistical point of view both are just as uncommon.
Not on the left, not on antidepressants and not overweight are so much more reasonable than the standards of that 'man in finance' song. makes me chuckle that that is the equivalency.. I'm cooked as they say
Men: Be a normal human being
Women: But Thats an Impossible standard!!!
@@mrcheeks7335 hahaha, I know right... that's how it feels
Her examples were lopsided, but let's not pretend like there aren't unrealistic expectations that men put on women. It goes both ways, and pretending that it's worse on one side than the other is ignorance.
I mean only 20% of younger women are are conservative so then you take the other two off and your really getting down to a low number, not as low as what the women she described want but an unfortunately low one none the less
Damn Unc youre up to date with the kingo. You are indeed catastrophically cooked. Minced. Diced. Sliced. Tartar sauce
No way “not obese” is a high standard
I think she meant all those traits in aggregate, not just that one trait.
Though not communicated well, what I think she’s trying to say is that many of us have these lists of traits that *must* be met by our prospective partner, and have a hard time realizing that the number of people that meet ALL the desired traits are vanishingly small.
We are all works in progress.
@@timm2003usall those traits in aggregate is still crazy. My wife is not obese, on antidepressants, or a lib. I don’t feel like I’m part of some 1%.
@@jamad-y7mThen America is messed up
Nowadays it may be 😂
Blah blah acceptance … set the bar low
Weird how the examples she cited for standards men are held to are "six figures, 6'5" but for women it was dropped to "isn't obese, isn't medicated". Like how do you compare those in the same sentence and not see an imbalance? One is be top 1% and the other is take care of yourself.
Exactly one is dont look for the top 1% and the other is dont exclude the bottom 10%
I think the point is those are not the same. She’s saying don’t have stupidly high and unimportant standard for men (there’s nothing wrong with a short blue collar men) when women are lazy, don’t take care of their health, and don’t have any values. The moral of the story is do better and the probability is you will eventually attract some who does better also.
@@PanBami2023to be fair a lot of this newer generation is on anti depressants. She’s not wrong about that. Depending on what age you are for not wanting someone on anti depressants it’s going to be hard to find. Literally look at all the lawsuits going on right now with snapchat and instagram. These apps are destroying kids lives so no shocker they need anti depressants.
Sure if you actually believe big pharma and you think that poison is helping you 😂
She said politically on the left side, not on anti depressant et not obese. She has an american accent. Most american women are overweight, the majority of women are progressist in western countries (women's rights are pushed by democrats) and you can read many studies about women's depression and anxiety. You can be a hot women, democrat and depressed. She hasnt mentioned attractiveness
I like how being realistic about who you can attract is considered "settling."
Notice how for men it’s a list of things he needs to be whereas for women it’s a list of things she should not be.
All things they can change.
@@FullCircleTravis That change must come from within. Never think you can change anyone.
Masculinity is created and built upon. Femininity is retained.
@@yourfavoriteentertainmentvery well said
kinda dumb point. being not fat is the same as being skinny, being not on the left is the same as being on the right.
Comparing six figures with not being overweight, sais a lot on what men are expected to bring to the table
Nobody seems to understand what she’s saying. Not surprising with the pool of collective intellect we see in 2024 🤦♂️
@@AmineYoutob-dh4qp not really this is the view of one person living in a bit of a fantasy world.
@@gareth2736 IDK where this applies BUT, in my country no women takes antidepressants, majority are fit and they bring value to the man and i will gladly say a woman who bring value to her man and makes him better and helps him the way he wants to be helped, she deserves the world and more
@@gareth2736 real life example , Connor McGregor's wife, in his early career she worked three jobs and told him to just train and prepare for his fights so he can only focus on one thing, look now where he is, you can see that he literally gave her the world
@@AmineYoutob-dh4qp yup exactly the misogynistic view put over in the video is ridiculous Vs real life.
The difference is that being 6'5", working in finance, and having blue eyes are all superficial traits, and they limit women's ability to find a partner because it's 0.1% of men.
Whereas not being on the left, not being on antidepressants and not being obese are reflections of your values, which are a completely normal thing to aspire for with a partner.
Functional equivalent is a woman around 21, 120 lbs with a slim waist, and D cups. Has a lot of resources (eggs) and superior genetics that indicate good health
@@Conservative_carnivorefor only reference Kendra Sunderland or Angel young in appearance
@@emmanuelnaranjo8114Except attractive, preferably.
It's a lot less than 0.1% of men, it's more like 0.0001%
I’m sure for a guy finding a woman who is conservative and is not dumb and or fat is a challenge. Now that is difficult to find. Thats why most guys don’t like talking politics bc they know their abhorrent views are a turn off for most women
I am the 6ft tall pretty finance guy but tbh the 4 girls I dated that where "in my status" kinda just didn't make me happy at all. They had shallow preferences and didn't actually seek me out for my companionship. Which broke my heart. And made me feel like im having my soul sucked. Like they just think I'm gonna be this perfect man for them. I ended up marrying this girl who is just pretty average looks. But she is a intelligent woman who actually really cares about my interests and not how I present myself to the world. So those pretty high standard woman. Yall usually aren't missing anything. They can be so dang demanding for materialistic things. You wanna find a girl who isn't obsessed with looks status and power. It drives you nuts to be around those.
And
Never enough.
Damned if you do.
Damned if you don't.
Best to skip.
She sounds like a keeper, hope you have a long and happy marriage!
I always say you’ll both be old and wrinkly eventually so find someone you enjoy being around and have good conversation with. Congrats on your marriage, sounds like the foundation is sound.
I’ve always wondered how some people can enjoy their relationships. I’m almost afraid to become successful at anything because I don’t want to attract certain types of people.
I feel like some people genuinely only see it as a contract and not something to be enjoyed
It's not settling, it's understanding that you have set a standard you yourself can't meet. If you say you want a man who has a 6 pack, makes 6 figures, is 6'4, that man is literally in the top .1 percent. As a woman, you need to be a 21 year old yoga instructor who both models full time and won the baking contest last year, and is known as the kindest person in town.
But, that's not what the princess movies, the female social media society, and their internal fantasies told them.
Who makes six figures.
Lol pretty much
1. We want to make the same money as men!
2. I require the man to make more than me!
3. Where are all the economically viable men???
Eventually, it will lead to:
4. Feminism has made your life worse.
@@KanyeT13065. But at least I get praised by other females on Twitter.
5 we also vote for policies which make economic viability for white men even harder by importing their replacements and doing DEI hiring
wow. there were like 20 comments here (including mine) and now they're gone... lol
@@Icemario87 shame. I wanted to see what people would say to this, but cowards working at TH-cam don’t want us to have an open discussion so they shadow ban us
It’s not about settling, it’s about understanding what is important and what is superficial. That comes with maturity.
The problem is this:
- Height is superficial
- Eye color is superficial
- Money is important, but people don't know what an average wage is
Concerning the expectations to females:
- Being on the left can ruin your life
- Antidepressants can ruin your life
- Being obese can ruin your life
So women could easily drop most of their criteria while men must not.
Yet the standards remain the same no matter the age for many.
superficial standards arent a problem, only when they are above your level. Also settling would be to go for one below your level when the talk is about going for your level.
If antidepressants are the bar, it's a pretty low bar.
Any standard man sets, is considered as a standard too high
@@commonsensecraziness7595 Correct. But women think THAT standard is MORE ridiculous than demanding a man be MORE than an entire standard deviation taller than the average...
Good luck, 25% of women are on some form of MH medication. I also think it's truly hilarious how they claim to be masters of emotion yet need extra help from big daddy pharma to control said emotions lol.
Yes, because drug-resistance increased over time, not to mention all kind of hormone imbalance from side effects, and wait until they forget to take the pill...
Who cares really anyway? Are people not allowed to deal with depression? I never understood the stigma of avoiding people who already deal with shit. Seems pretty selfish to me.
I actually thought my standards were too high once upon a time. I wanted a man who was strong and sure and yet kind and gentle. He also had to want children as much as I did and he had to be faithful to me.
I’d see my friends hook up and date and have their pick and then wonder why I couldn’t have that.
One day, my (now late) fiancé and I were talking about what we wanted (this was pretty early in our relationship) and I decided to tell him, warning him that they might be a bit outlandish.
I told him and he was quiet and I thought he was thinking “Damn, I picked someone who thinks my standards are too high.”
Instead he looked at me and said “That’s a baseline.”
you will live a happy life without very high expectations of a partner
I like how Brett unintentionally showed just how ridiculous the disparity is between men's standards and women's standards.
Brett? His name is Chris
Gotta love dating in 2024:
Women's standards: 6'5", works in finance, blue eyes, mad game, six pack abs, 6 inches in the pants, etc, etc.....
Men's standards: Don't be crazy
99.9% of men in relationships don’t meet the “women’s standards” you listed. If you’re not successful with women, it might be for another reason.
you forgot dont be obese....but still there's some chubby chasers out there so..
heheh thats not the dating world, most women dont want these things...its a lie perpetuated by red pill and I cant believe she is falling for it.
You forgot their “trust fund, also wealthy parents, has free time to take you on vacation every month, has several luxury/sports cars, has a big boat…”
also dont wear glasses unless she has a harry potter fetish.
Went on dates with my contacts in everything is cool then when i wear my glasses blammo ghosted
"Not on the left, not antidepressants, not overweight.."
Overlaps. There are incredible amounts of correlation between those three, making the man's desire a lot more likely and possible. Meanwhile, what is the overlap between height, career prospects, and eye color?
So the guys' desired outcome can occur what? 10% of the time? Meanwhile, not even 10% of men are over 6'5". This gets compounded by the career and eye color.
There’s actually a lot of overlap with height and career success, but I agree with the statement that women are disregarding entire huge groups of men who would, in all likelihood, be fantastic partners.
She’s right too, it’s about knowing what you bring to the table! I stay home with our kids while my husband chases work success and that dynamic works pretty well. He does happen to be 6’3” with blue eyes 😂but he works in tech and *probably* wouldn’t have gone for a woman that superficial
@@kaylachristenson9664 there is a correlation but it's statistically irrelevant to how you should pick your partner.
Don't be that dumb.
Smart point
The op said nothing dumb whatsoever @@thedog5k
@@kaylachristenson9664your drawing a flas picture here. Yes there is a slight correlation, but what you say is a lot of overlap is minimal compared to the overlap og talked about.
*The standards she mentioned which are put on wom3n are totally and easily achievable, reasonable, and justified. The ones for men are ludicrous*
Just look who she married rich trust fund guy😂😂😂
@@JacobsNewsshe is rich herself and fits the standards she provided, so its not hypocritical that she wanted someone of equally high status
@@Swatotastic that's why you got to tell guys to get in shape and get your money right. Then you can have anybody. I think he is in his 30s, and she is 22. Also, I thought she made fun of fresh and fit for saying the same thing .. she was definitely hypocritical on the fresh and fet it seems
How is not being on antidepressants easily achievable, do tell me please.
@@ivag.5398Is it that difficult to being 6'5 millionaire??
"Its not settling, its being aware of what your options are"
Very well put
I agree. Its about knowing what you bring to the table. If your equal isn’t what you want, then improve yourself first.
I got married young to an imperfect person. I was also very immature and very imperfect. We had no money! And we grew up together. Here's a plan: get married and help each other to become better.
Actually agree, but unfortunately nobody does that anymore.
While this is great, I know it doesn't work all the time. Health, finance and career are decisions that people just make. A person who doesn't want to be prudent, lose weight and take health seriously or prioritize academics for career advancement won't appreciate someone else trying to help most of the time. You can take a horse to the river but you can't force it to drink. How long are you going to keep helping? Once you slow down, the person falls back to their old ways.
Rare idea to see now, strangely. A lot of bullshit about having to have "won life" first before I even say hi to a woman. First world privilege to have such a clean outlook, not to mention time wasting and miserable.
I wanted what you describe, but women have been flaky shit and now I'm 36, so now of course everything *is* expected of me, with no support from any of them. Just show up and eat.
Well, I don't have the cake, because their predecessors psychologically ruined me and I've always struggled to see the point in a very rigged game at the best of times.
Financial cuckoldry to the government and migrants = successful "normal" person.
But then you're still a loser if you're going pay check to pay check as a rent slave.
Doesn't that all sound so much better than having someone early on to tackle it with? Lol "red pill / conservatives" tbh
Tried that but it’s hard to find a supportive woman who wants to become better…
@@ProfessionalCleancutguy Don't marry before you have your life together.
The difference is, there is nothing - NO-THING - a man can do about his height or eye color. It isn't a choice.
Yes there is 😂
@@calebcase80How?
@@anderspihlgren4965 eyeball replacement and leg extensions
@@anderspihlgren4965Eye tattoos.
@@Icemario87very high risk of going blind, you can also do height surgery but its gonna fuck up your bones permanently.
To be fair, if you listen to interviews of the girl who mad the original statement, she says it was purely satirical to call out girls' crazy standards today and hoped someone would turn the quote into a song/music
I don't think the intention of the original girl matters because I doubt most of the people who say this phrase are being satirical.
Yes.... that's the point... she's pointing out what many girls think
@@QeepingItRealfeel better ? Personal attacks are always a sign of a bitter loser
I think watching a video called "joookes" by a YT channel called "hoe_math" would greatly inform you of the level of satire as compared to reality contained within the original statement (not dunking here, I legitimately think it'd be informative)
I see a few instagram influencers who have labelled themselves as comedians and essentially do skits as slightly more caricatured versions of themselves.
It could be satire, or it could be exactly who they are and they have an angle of deniability if they ever get called out on it
Is it still satire if she were to eventually end up with a man in finance, 6’5 blue eyes?
Men just want a woman that is fit, feminine and friendly. All things within a woman’s control.
Truth height not in a man control and getting a 6 Figures salary is very hard and also very unlikely. We could get a 6 pack too. But personally I'm not looking for a woman who is a supermodel body. Just standard not overweight. That's like average 7 out of the 1 to 10 hot range.
True. Looks do matter obviously so yeah pretty. Fit. Funny. Dtf at least 3 times a week. 🤙
Love is acceptance after all, not a checklist based quest for perfection.
Maybe it's just me, but when you get the feels for someone, it's got nothing to do with a list. It often confuses you and takes you by surprise; and it's amazing. It's not a purchase.
This!
200%
I Wouldn't be so sure about that if I where you. Be more self aware and you will identify that you too have your preferences.
I for example am as every guy attracted to pretty women, but in today's age you will see a lot of pretty women. So the purely physical attractiveness is more like a threshold to me.
Once the women surpasses the relatively low threshold in physical attractiveness, her sharing ms values became infinitely more important than any increase in physical attractiveness.
It's like a shock when I find out a women that I find even remotely physically attractive shares many of my values.
@@yannik1679 No, he's right. It happened to me. I thought I had a certain list of preferences, and then I met the right girl and realized I didn't care about a lot of the things I thought I cared about.
The issue is dating apps and social media.
That feeling you're talking about basically never happens through the digital realm, and if it does it can often be an illusion that gets completely dashed when you actually meet the person in real life
So much of romance and attraction is chemical, it's biological, it's human all too human, it cannot be replicated through a screen.
There's no replacement for face to face social interaction.
Those standards just get you in the door. That doesn’t even include whether the person is actually attractive, reasonably hygienic, or emotionally stable
We don’t settle. If we’re lucky we find our romantic equivalent. Bonus points if they don’t snore.
Women: 6 feet, 6 inches, 6 figures
Men: Alive.
Alive….and kind.
Alive?
Nah bruh we can even do without that 😂
This is why the inner self is so important. All these stated things can be worked on but a persons self can be hard to change
Yes ‼🙂👍
I think we've been brainwashed by society in general to think that being realistic about your options is equivalent to settling.
When you're a 10, or at least believe you are, then most options will seem like settling. I think this begins with social media and dating apps inflating people's perceived value of themselves. It's only when you disconnect from these things and exist in the real world for a while that get a much more realistic sense of where you stand.
@@CuriousGeorge13 Facts.
The thing is, if you do hang out with women, in their 20s or early 30s at least, you'd see that they have amazing options. And I've seen plenty of women who actually married those guys. The reality is there's really a lot of high standard men out there.
@@florianb3935 I've known women who can easily outsleep their dating market value. Of course they couldn't lock down a guy that is EASILY 2 deviations above them in said value if not 3. Unregulated markets fail not only the dating market.
Everyone should think for themselves. Go out and date and get some feedback to become aware of their value (brings to the table)
So I want to point out the comparison here. Comparing men to someone who is 6'5", works in Finance, and has blue eyes, vs someone who is not a leftist, not on antidepressants and not obese. Yeah, because those things are completely relatable.
And the far right extremism someone is trying to distance himself from. And the far right radical misogynist ones who say Harris has a wide nose. Then Brett’s nose. Genetics 😁
Women😂
When the bar for women is “not on antidepressants or obese”… men, we’re screwed! 😂😂😂
Obesity is a choice, but there’s nothing inherent wrong with taking anti-depressants. A significant part of our life experience is menstruation, menopause, and (if we have children) post-partum. All three are strongly linked to depression..
@@mleobviouslyAnd you don't even need depression to be prescribed them.
@@mleobviouslyAnd you don't even need depression to be prescribed them.
But we must own several houses and have 500k saved
@@mleobviously then how come women in non hyper feminist countries dont need antidepressants?
She's right as Chris mentioned 'settling' she regards it as know your worth and expect around that equal exchange, very true
The best way of thinking about what you're looking for in a partner is values and character. The rest is just optics, which are also important at first, but they will change overtime and if you're values dont align there's no foundation. Relationships don't last anymore because people are just focused on optics.
Agreed but for me at least she has to be somewhat attractive on sight. The better the personality the hotter she becomes but looks do matter obviously
@AlexBahr-cr6kp sure, but if that's all there is, there really is nothing. I like to think of a partner as someone I not just love, but also like, if that makes sense. Then on the other hand I'm longtime single, never had a healthy relationship and should probably shut up😂😂😂
The key is sacrifice. Love requires sacrifice. People are all about demands and not givings. You cannot do business that way.
Not for her she married a trust fund guy
@@JacobsNews and he as a result sacrificed a lot of his trust and fund
@@alexanderchenf1 true when they get divorced in 10 years and she takes half of it
@@JacobsNews And he went on and became ever prosperous with a 20-year old girlfriend. And she became old, lonely, bitter, with an ever dwindling bank account and very expensive cats.
Really what they have is an overinflated sense of self worth that makes them think these smoking hot millionaires who can have anyone are just waiting for them.
😂 and when the guy become choosy, they riot 😂
The truth is very average women get men with "high stays" quite easily, at least during their twenties. Who's to say their self worth is inflated then?
@@florianb3935literally everybody lol, just cause social media tells you you’re a 10 does not mean your actually a 10.
Wait. Do a lot of women take antidepressants?
That or some kind of anxiety meds, a lottt of them
@@queball685 How much and how many?
@@nalianalianalia 1/3 of all women. You can look it up. It is 100% a fact.
Google AI is saying about 1 in 5 women overall take antidepressants.
USA is crazy
6 foot 6 figures and Now a dad bod married and happy to my chunky 5 foot woman with a heart of gold and our 3 children. She was chunky when i met her and won my heart, a Christian woman. To be honest i think i need her more then she needs me. Shes is an amazing woman
It’s not settling, it’s living in reality.
I am not overweight , I am not on antidepressants and I am a conservative. Where is my 6’5, finance guy with blue eyes ?
😂Best comment ❤
Sup.
I'm 6' 4... But that's 2 measurements.
2/3 of those is the best I can do, but single life is blissful
The attributes you claim to have are a lot more common than men who are single, 6'5", trust fund, work in finance, and having blue eyes.
I'm 6'5 and work in finance, but I have green eyes. Since you want blue eyes, this could never work.
Where is love and where is respect in all of this? You could be anyone and love anyone because of who they are. You don’t select a life partner off of a checklist, you just feel it
It's 2024.
I want a woman who is Christian like myself, not overweight, takes care of herself (healthy sleep, diet, exercise), doesn’t follow stupid trends, isn’t addicted to attention or social media, loves her family, has hobbies, and a sense of humour.
Absolutely based list. I'm 100% the same.
But even though this is 100 times more reasonable and easier than "millionaire 6'5 blue eyes" we still probably won't find any. The bar for women is as low as "not a leftist on antidepressants".
@@onta.nicolae Indeed brother!
Good luck brother, you asking for a unicorn
Most men want this. It's unfortunate that people tell me that my standards are too high 🤦🏾
@@KooroshFarahani I mean the list I made describes an ideally normal woman, a normal person, but ironically you’re right - nowadays a normal woman is a unicorn.
brett described the case for mgtow very well: being aware of what your options are
"know what you bring to the table"
The problem with dating is not high expectations, but the idea that it is an exchange of social value.
Married 15 years and so damn glad I don’t have to deal with this BS
Hats off to the younger generation
You got married just before things went completely insane. Dating apps and social media have really ruined women. I’m old enough to remember before vs. after.
I think people get in love with the idea of a partner but not the reality. Truth is you are dealing with a person with both strengths an weaknesses just like you. The other person doesn't need to be perfect they just need to be perfect for you.
You also have to find out what she wants a lot of women wannabe stay at home moms they're just not going to say that
@JacobsNews agreed. Honestly, from the very beginning is important for setting up a good relationship.
@@JacobsNewsthey can want that but most set themselves up not to do that and bring tons of baggage. Watch what they do and not what they say.
Bringing 50k of student debt and a traveling habit, credit card debt, a card note - wanting to drive late model cars then expecting a man to pay for all of that, while simultaneously voting for leftist garbage that makes everything expensive. All of these actions fly in the face of what they then say they want.
as a man thats 6'2" 190 fit, making over 100k as an electrician, i still get rudely rejected on a regular basis for no apparent reason. i hate california
Because this narrative that men get rejected for not making money, isn't universally true. Even if you are 6ft+, blond, blue eyes, make 250k+...chances are you may still get rejected.
On the other hand 5'7" dude with 100k salary maybe livin' happily with his wife. It's about finding that person that fits with you. I'm someone who believe luck plays lots in marriage which is a gamble. I'm from a traditional family which still follow arranged marriages system
Face & race?
The problem is the dating apps nowadays. The stats are crazy. 12 percent of men get to bang 80 percent of the women. It’s messed our culture up so bad
The table doesn’t exist. You’re either compatible or you’re not, you’re going to mesh well, or you won’t. We create a significant amount of our own problems. Self awareness is key 🔑 for longevity in any human capacity.
Men have become self aware enough to know the probability of finding a woman who fits the basic description in the video is almost as likely as finding bigfoot sitting on a picnic _table_ in the forest.
It’s not “settling“. It’s “recalibrating your expectations“.
The fact she can contrast the two levels of standards women want vs what men want without emphasizing how absurdly insane the women are and sticking up for the men having the SMALLEST of standards is crazy.
It’s why trying to be a middle ground person in the “qender vvars” is futiIe
Whatever I still love her. Her husband lucky af
@@AlexBahr-cr6kp quit simping.
I promise you Brett didnt marry down. She def married a chad. She was giving no average low income men a chance. Sje just wants all the rest of us to do so 😂
She isn't an average girl either.
Very beautiful, pretty smart, has lots of money, healthy looking and apparently traditional to a certain extent.
What else can a man ask for ? She's the female version of Chad!
@@anyamet777 there are a lot of beautiful young women out there. The point is Brett is always supporting the idea that women need to lower standards and also be a stay at home mom. Yet she didnt lower her own standards and shes rocking that career.
Women being hypocrites? Say it ain't so!
I’ve met him, you’d be surprised ngl 😂 but seemed like a nice guy
@@coachcoopfitness what does "youd be surprised" mean lol. Tell me what you really think of him
I want a partner with a secure attachment style or at least aware of attachment styles and working towards secure, emotionally intelligent, and values me as a person not supply. Which I realize are probably as unrealistic expectations as a man in finance, trust fund, 6’5”…
I'll tell you one thing, I'm a dude and I'm willing to bet no man knows what a "secure attachment style" even is...let alone be willing to engage in whatever the hell that is with you. XD
Can I offer a suggestion? You likely know who those men are. Why don't you approach it by saying what you offer, instead of what you demand?
@@MalthusYeah… Bizarre
The type of guys who know about attachment styles are not the type of guys women want to date. But if I have to guess, your idea of secure attachment is a guy who doesn't ask you where have you been of you come home in 2 or is not upset when you dont text back for 18 hours lol.
@@davideisenhower1342 All I hear is "If I get a guy I want to keep living my life the way I was before we got together." Sorry, THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS! lol
I think “not obese” could be translated into “is healthy” or “cares about their health and diet” and that was one for me. I wanted someone who also lived a healthy lifestyle. That’s okay to want that. We all have our preferences. To me it showed me that person could think about their future and make good, healthy decisions.
Ive listened to podcasts from both sides one of the biggest thing i find troubling is the "what do you bring to the table" question. If you are truly looking for someone to BUILD a life with, the question that should be asked is...." are you going to help me build the table"
Your standards should be aligned to your own value. If you are an amazing man/woman, you can have high standards.
Problem is: most people vastly overestimate their own value. Unfortunately we have a „everyone is a winner“ attitude in our society instead of a „everyone can be a winner if they put in the work“ mentality.
That’s true, however most men have reasonable standards, Brett even listed them and tried to compare them to ridiculous female standards.
Wanting a not obese, not a leftist, not on mental meds woman is basement level
Standards, and so few young women meet these standards it’s unbelievable. Keep in mind decades ago the majority of young women EASILY met these standards.
@@Joe-hz1nw I agree with you. I think having higher standards than men is reasonable for women because their mating strategy bases on hypergamy and aiming higher can yield better outcomes.
The current unreasonably high standarts come partly from the illusion of having a extremely large dating pool, due to dating apps, social media etc.
Thirsty men give many women the impression that their value is way higher than it actually is. Because of that many women won't settle for someone they mistakenly perceive as lower value, hence the high amoung of single people and situationships.
Society has to adapt to our modern world and I think future generations might learn from our mistakes, but right now it's kind of shitty for young men (and also women, because they sure are not happy about not having stable relationships either).
I don't know why this isn't talked about, but about 20% of American women have genital herpes. That should definitely be on the list in front of obesity, political leaning, and depression.
where the hell is that statistic found and who conducted it? first I've ever heard of it and if that's the case, I sincerely worry for the kids.
@@SeraphimDragon I can't link you anything because the TH-cam comments section doesn't allow that, but you're a big boy, I'm sure you can Google it. America has seriously and intentionally downplayed its genital herpes problem, that's why you've never heard of its prevalence.
@@SeraphimDragon TH-cam comment section does not allow links, you'll have to find it yourself (something I'm sure you are capable of). America has seriously and intentionally downplayed its genital herpes problem, which is why you've never heard of it before.
@@SeraphimDragon Can't share it here due to TH-cam's strict guidelines (and auto-deleting all my replies). America has seriously and intentionally downplayed it's genital herpes problem, which is why you haven't heard of it.
@@SeraphimDragon ive known this even decades ago, america has always been known for having high rates of stds. From an outsode perspective, people here use condoms to avoid getting pregnant but americans use condoms to avoid stds because of how common it is there
There are men and there are women who chase stupid standards, we get it. There are also those who don’t, but they don’t get clicks…
There are tons of happily single and married perfectly content people both with and without kids. I make it a point to go out and get coffee, lunch, etc regularly and just be around normal people, not the hysterical 5% screaming on social media. If more did this you'd discover it's not that bad. Not that there's not unhappiness in the world, coz that's ludicrous. But it's not that bad.
@@gman7497while getting out there is great advice, one must also face the reality of things.
The marriage rate & birth rate continues to collapse, young women vs. young men core values gap continues to widen. It’s not just social media.
I feel so fortunate to have gone through a painful, abusive relationship and come out the other side married to a woman I truly respect and adore. She’s not skinny, but she’s warm and accepts me with all my past trauma, helping me become a disciplined, humble, and secure man. I’ve learned to build wealth, live simply, and invest wisely. I no longer need alcohol or tobacco to cope. Now, I enjoy slow mornings, hiking or running for 1-2 hours, and growing in all aspects of life. Find a partner who brings out the best in you and isn’t just a shadow. It’s about uplifting each other and adding mutual value.
You’re only settling if the person you’re with treats you like crap and you stay. THAT’S settling.
Women with crazy expectations always reminds me of the phrase, "gassed-up mid." 😂
Investment banking not finance
hahahahaha
My ex-husband was/is 6’5” with Scandinavian heritage and a successful career (that I helped him build) but he was also an obese alcoholic who physically abused me… I’d much rather date based on how mentally stable and well adjusted someone is than on superficial “standards” and thankfully years later I met my now husband who is 5’11” with hazel eyes, happens to have a six-figure income (but drove a 90’s Corolla so I had no idea) and is sober, conservative, into power lifting and mountain biking, loves dogs, makes time for me, and treats me with respect 🥰
I'm sure you considered all those average 5'9" brown-eyed construction workers, accountants, teachers, and mechanics before marrying the tall (even 5'11" in well above average), rich (both with high incomes), and jacked (Viking genetics and a power lifter) men.
@@pace1195 yes, you are correct. Actually one of my ex’s was a dishwasher and another was the same height as myself (5’7”)
@@LouisaWatt This may be a bit of an uncouth question, but how many ex-husbands have you had in your life?
@@pace1195it’s a shame you have no social graces. Must make you very lonely
@@TasmanianWanderlust I give grace and respect when earned. And yes, that probably means I have many fewer friends than you.
You post in a comment section unprompted, and I quote, “I’d much rather date based on how mentally stable and well adjusted someone is than on superficial “standards”…
You also state the superficial standards of what I am assuming is at least one of 3 (or more) ex-husbands, and you state the superficial standards of your current husband.
If only those three men who thought they had a lifetime partner and are now divorced, had taken your advice first.
It's not settling its called being resonable in order to not be alone.
„setting up these insane standards“
thanks you girl loved the sentence that sums it up perfectly
I just think it's weird for both sides to be so involved with the idea of checklists. I get having standards, but whatever happened to just finding someone you care about, are attracted to, and enjoy being with?
Having a short checklist that is logical and reasonable makes sense.
1. Shared values - can’t raise kids without this.
2. are they relatively attractive (obese is not attractive)
3. are they mentally stable? (Self explanatory why this matters)
4. Are they decent with money? One of the top reasons for divorce is this, it cannot be ignored
People, with context from her own videos where she elaborates on the topic, she didn’t explain the male equivalent well. What she meant was
Not overweight -> Supermodel
Not a leftist -> Super conservative, pre-ALL waves of the feminist movement, pregnant barefoot in the kitchen
Not on Antidepressants -> Have absolutely no emotional or mental baggage, even if it is an actual medical condition or things like ADHD or chronic illnesses, or have absolutely no family trauma
When you add these three up… yeah, you’d be hard pressed to find many women like this.
Or just take care of yourself. Guess what every woman was a super model in the 80s.
Lie, lie and lie. I'm too tired to explain it all,but I'll give you the obvious example, i find not ONE man who'd pick a "supermodel" over a curvy woman.
@@Gigachadbased-p34 Lie lie and lie? You must be very blind to the online dating sphere. And what do you mean “curvy”? Because “supermodels” *are* curvy. My point was that she elaborates these points differently than what she described, not that I think it is particularly commonplace. 🙄
If men were only looking for supermodels, then why are over 60% of men between 18-29 single while only 30% of women are single? You don't even know what men want.
Normalcy doesn’t sell on social media. So it’s flooded with everyone’s highlight reel or pseudo expression of their reality, aka, glitz and glam. That sells and gets engagement. It’s caused people to think that relationships need to be all about money, expensive trips and material possessions. You can certainly have money and true intimacy with a partner, but the money certainly won’t guarantee that. Once you’ve had a taste of the good life, it loses its luster very quickly and you find that the kindness and true vulnerability of someone is priceless in a relationship.
I've had a taste of it. I have millionaires in my family. I don't agree at all.
But "not on the left" means men want a traditional woman (on the right). It's not "little". It 100% doesn't compare to the "man in finance" standards but it's definitely not "reasonable" standards as knowing men who want a "traditional woman" in this day and age, usually means a woman who works a job AND maintains the household + raises kids without questioning it. That is FARRRR from being "just a reasonable standard".
Being with their equivalent is not settling at all, the fact that some people look at it like settling just prove that most people don't see others as also people but things, like a product or a gadget that could be upgraded somehow. Not to mention that when you are with somebody and you both like eachother there will always be room for self improvement and mutual improvement
The comparison is a killer.
6'5, fit, finance,
NOT LEFT, NOT OBESE, NOT ANTIDEPRESSANTS
by the numbers women get classified as obese much easier. my woman was 5'2 160 and the doctor told her she was obese not taking into consideration that she had hypergrowth in her breast and had j cups that weighed 20 pounds each. cut those off and shes 5'2 120.
Yft Brett described herself as the ideal woman in that slim scenario
She is the ideal women. She’s prefect
How about we stop telling both men and women what their standards should and shouldn’t be. Each one of us has one life to live so live the way you want to. If you want your standards to be super high then that’s fine. Want to lower them? That’s ok too. Women wanting a rich man shouldn’t be shamed for having preferences just like men who want a skinny young girl shouldn’t be shamed either. It’s none of anyone’s business really. Focus on yourself do whatever you feel is right for you. If you end up married then great. If you end up single that’s also perfectly fine. Be a good person, be happy, don’t hurt others. Go for whoever you want it will all work out in the end
Thank you for this ❤!
All the influencers need something to talk about, I'm pretty damn sure it's more of a made up internet problem than a real one
@@dan44zzt231 It isn't.
That's not going to work today.
The problem is when they set their standards unreasonably high then attack others for not meeting them. The mindset of "well I'm single but I'm okay with that" doesn't exist practically
Options part is true, but personal preference depends on what you like and most folks are superficial.
You also have to compromise in serious relationships and help each grow. Some say it’s not necessary about finding the one, it’s about making the one and there is some truth to that.
Is that ben shapiro's sister?
No
No. Her upper torso doesn’t require me to place my phone in landscape mode.
@@williamthurmond4940😂😂
It's not, she gets asked that a lot. She does work for Ben though
Brett Cooper I think, apparently the assumption happens alot
What they want is a resource factor to endlessly plunder.
Being obese could be considered a rounding error, right?
Not at all, look up obesity rates on the CDC website, they break it down by age as well.
Not obese, not a leftist lunatic, not in tons of useless debt/bad with money, no b_st@rd kids in tow, 20’s is like 1% of women today. If you dig into the data it’s appalling. In 1960 the vast majority of young women EASILY met these basic standards and more.
Compare those basic standards to wanting a 6ft 5 rich guy. It’s comical.
Hahaha. Well no but nowadays this stupid promoting body positivity has taken over so who knows. Being fat is unhealthy.
this is a lesson for girls--when you're young, study hard and get into ivy league schools. There, 6'5 guys who will be making 7 figures are a dime a dozen. Or even better, get the grades to work at an investment bank or hedge fund. There, literally every guy makes 6 or 7 figures and most are over 6'0
Only a woman would think female and male standards are comparable.
However, she is correct that the number of women who can meet male standards is exceptionally small. But this isn't because they have to work hard, spend hours in the gym, or be genetically gifted. It's because to find a woman who hasn't conformed to feminist ideals and hasn't destroyed her ability to pair bond is extremely rare.
Wanting a normal girl who isn't overweight, not on meds, is feminine, pleasant, and will respect her male partner shouldn't be too much to ask for. Apparently, it is, though. Even to DW sweetheart, Brett Cooper.
Since when "not obese" is a high standard? 😂
What’s weird is when they get older they go for males that are younger and living at home lol make it make sense
“Is not on the left” lmaoooo she couldn’t help herself, she knows her audience. 🤣
She used it as an example because the majority of men tend to vote conservative and the values gap between men and women is insane right now, particularly with young women.
@@Joe-hz1nwif someone’s “values”, as you put it, dictate that their spouse not have different political views then perhaps it’s those values that need reconsidering.
Also it’s not the point but I’d feel amiss if I didn’t point out that once you get to the millennial generation(which she belongs to) that male majority gets flipped to the left(Pew Research;”A Deep Dive Into Party Affiliation”).
I like Brett Cooper a lot, but there is a fine line between "settling" and "knowing your options!" (speaking from experience)
Much appreciated perspective and Love her hair
We’re all cooked boys… we’re all cooked 😭
Come on Brett. ‘Not on antidepressants’ is a standard now? This kind of stigma made me lose years of my life to depression instead of just going and getting help from a professional. You can’t just fix a chemical imbalance by gritting your teeth. Antidepressants have changed my life and helped me overcome generations of mental health issues in my family. There is no shame in getting help.
1/3 of women 18-34 are on some sort of drugs like that, and the numbers continue to skyrocket, same with drinking and drug use.
Magically overnight women didn’t just develop mental issues based on their genetics. It is how they are living, the choices they are making.
@@Joe-hz1nwwhat about people with ocd, schizophrenia and severe depression who struggle with the most basic things from brushing their teeth to studying for an major exam or going to work? Yes therapy and exercise work but the people actually going through these things know its easier said than done, they need medicines to lessen their symptoms to give them a push to get up and try to get better. What should change is that there should be an increase in proper assessments, people get diagnosed way too often- atleast in my country. But for the ones actually suffering, taking medicines to feel better is completely okay, and for the side effects, there is no medicine that doesnt have side effects. Living in agony is not fun, and it’s disgusting that she practically shamed people with mental disorders cuz she thinks every opinion that she has is correct.
@@mariposa424 Thanks for speaking out about that because many people like myself will push away medication and force themselves to suffer even if it just makes them worse. I have a couple conditions that as far as anyone knows there is no real way to cure it.
A lot of mental health issues are a result of poor choices but I also think choices aren't in a vacuum of the person's mind but part of genetics and environment and negative feedback loops that often you can't realistically pull yourself out of even though in theory you feel like you have the free will to do it (although not consistently). I am unsatisfied with professional mental health and think maybe it should transform into more life coaching/accountability integration with traditional help. Medication should be offered with the understanding of a goal and what type of person you are whether it's for long term or short term use in conjunction with a therapist. It's too much of a disjointed industry where no therapist wants to take accountability and they don't want to blame the client (who often doesn't need more self criticism in many ways but perhaps needs healthy guided criticism).
I could ramble a long time on this. Ultimately I think a lot of people especially on the right want to take accountability for their mind and don't trust experts and feel a failure if they are just on medication. And I wish the field of psychology was better and there was a better understanding of the nuances to accountability vs mental health being at fault. Because for me a lot of times I fail to see the distinction. It's easy to either feel like everything is your choice or just be mostly a victim to your circumstances.
Thanks for speaking out about that because many people like myself will push away medication and force themselves to suffer even if it just makes them worse. I have a couple conditions that as far as anyone knows there is no real way to cure it.
A lot of mental health issues are a result of poor choices but I also think choices aren't in a vacuum of the person's mind but part of genetics and environment and negative feedback loops that often you can't realistically pull yourself out of even though in theory you feel like you have the free will to do it (although not consistently). I am unsatisfied with professional mental health and think maybe it should transform into more life coaching/accountability integration with traditional help. Medication should be offered with the understanding of a goal and what type of person you are whether it's for long term or short term use in conjunction with a therapist. It's too much of a disjointed industry where no therapist wants to take accountability and they don't want to blame the client (who often doesn't need more self criticism in many ways but perhaps needs healthy guided criticism).
I could ramble a long time on this. Ultimately I think a lot of people especially on the right want to take accountability for their mind and don't trust experts and feel a failure if they are just on medication. And I wish the field of psychology was better and there was a better understanding of the nuances to accountability vs mental health being at fault. Because for me a lot of times I fail to see the distinction. It's easy to either feel like everything is your choice or just be mostly a victim to your circumstances.
@@mariposa424 Thanks for speaking out about that because many people like myself will push away medication and force themselves to suffer even if it just makes them worse. I have a couple conditions that as far as anyone knows there is no real way to cure it.
A lot of mental health issues are a result of poor choices but I also think choices aren't in a vacuum of the person's mind but part of genetics and environment and negative feedback loops that often you can't realistically pull yourself out of even though in theory you feel like you have the free will to do it (although not consistently). I am unsatisfied with professional mental health and think maybe it should transform into more life coaching/accountability integration with traditional help. Medication should be offered with the understanding of a goal and what type of person you are whether it's for long term or short term use in conjunction with a therapist. It's too much of a disjointed industry where no therapist wants to take accountability and they don't want to blame the client (who often doesn't need more self criticism in many ways but perhaps needs healthy guided criticism).
I could ramble a long time on this. Ultimately I think a lot of people especially on the right want to take accountability for their mind and don't trust experts and feel a failure if they are just on medication. And I wish the field of psychology was better and there was a better understanding of the nuances to accountability vs mental health being at fault. Because for me a lot of times I fail to see the distinction. It's easy to either feel like everything is your choice or just be mostly a victim to your circumstances.
I don’t think men have the same standards…..
Yeah they have more reasonable standards. A girl in her 20s who’s very attractive would pick someone 20 years older who is a millionaire everytime instead of a mechanic or electrician that’s her age and more attractive than the rich guy. Reverse it and the man would rather have the poor attractive girl to take care of. Online dating ruined our culture. 12 of men bang 80 percent of the women because their money standards are insane.
It's not about "settling" or even "being realistic", it's about viewing relationships -- and the opposite sex -- more positively *in general*. When you feel more grateful for the opportunity to have a relationship, and less entitled, you will be more likely to find one. We place all these preconditions on relationships because we have ceased to believe in them inherently. It's about looking for reasons to believe rather than demanding them.
"superficial" is a very important word here. Since when have huge chunks of society willingly shown themselves to be shallow, superficial, and hyper-materialistic?
I generally disagree with this. I don’t really understand the discussion about standards. Either you fall in love or you do not. Either you found your soulmate or you didn’t. Either you found someone you wanna raise a family with or you didn’t. The rest looks good on paper but doesn’t really matter.
Women don't.
A partner is a commodity.
Yeah but that’s the thing, there’s REASONS why you’d fall in love with someone or why you’d want kids with someone. It’s the basics of being in a relationship, yall need to be compatible.
Triple digit IQ helps.
@werst12345he's not setting a high standard, he's saying having above average intelligence helps, thanks for precluding yourself.
@werst12345 I am aware...and most of the "high value women" on Tiktok /OF are significantly below average.
@werst12345but 50% are also below....
@werst12345btw it's median not average
@werst12345 How can you miss the point so thoroughly? When looking for a partner people value things more or less, you may value having say an intelligent or attractive partner, where many might not care at all, or only care that the person is 'good enough' in those regards as they have other values.
Edit: And yes, you prevented yourself from being chosen (the 'happening' in this case) which is the very definition of 'preclude'. You seemingly Googled (and paraphrased) the definition, yet still chose to argue with me, probably due to poor comprehension. By your interpretation it would mean 'prevent existing', clearly incorrect. Why attempt to correct someone on the use of a word you yourself had to search the definition of? Are you so insecure that if you don't know the meaning of a word 'no one probably really does'?
As a 6ft5 guy working in finance I feel attacked
Same, but brown eyes so I'm dying alone
@joshdobbs23 It's not you, it's that women believe you're "The Bare Minimum."
I have gray eyes, Worked in finance, not 6'5. No trust fund.
She finishes it with saying “be aware of what your options are and what you’re bringing to the table.” If you ask a lot of girls what she brings to the table they’re so offended.😂😂😂
As a woman, women who have height standards for men have no right to play victim when men have standards about body type.