We are not Allah and cannot attain that level of forgiveness. And I don't believe we should put that burden on us us to try to achieve that. And certainly Allah is the most forgiving of us all
Thanks for telling that. I mean really...imagine someone dear to you got killed by someone through physical abuse and this abuse wasn't even happened once or twice. Ppl shouldn't be talking about things they didnt get into, they cannot fully emphatize the whole situation in my opinion.
Exactly. Thank you for sharing this perspective. Sorry to say that many people who talk about this issue including women and Muslim scholars are lacking empathy. Maybe because they or their loved ones have never experienced this level of betrayal or crime. So far, Mufti Menk and Sheikh Suhaib Webb are the only Muslim scholars (that I discovered) who understood and have empathy for the victims. I have my utmost respect for them because of the fact that they are able to empathise with women who were abused even though they are men. Real gentlemen like them are very rare these days. May Allah bless them in this life and the hereafter.
Forgiving is a choice.... But seeking justice and stopping the oppressor from oppression is also a duty smong Muslims.. And dua of oppressed is a right for a muslim...
We should try to forgive others. But if you can't forgive someone, it's ok. Don’t burden yourself. There was a time I couldn’t forgive some people. With time it changed. Now those people don't matter to me. I gave it all to ALLAH. He will deal with them.
It’s in Islam. But if you pardon and overlook and forgive - then indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful” [at-Taghabun 64:14]. And Ahmad (6255) narrated from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘As from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) that he said, when he was on the minbar: “Show mercy, and you will be shown mercy; forgive, and Allah will forgive you.” and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful” [an-Nur 24:22].
It’s in Islam. But if you pardon and overlook and forgive - then indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful” [at-Taghabun 64:14]. And Ahmad (6255) narrated from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘As from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) that he said, when he was on the minbar: “Show mercy, and you will be shown mercy; forgive, and Allah will forgive you.” and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful” [an-Nur 24:22].
Yh that's what I'm thinking too. Its not easy to forgive a person especially when they have literally ruined a life. I know the speaker means well but this seems too harsh. Yes we all want to be forgiven by Allah but does that mean in order to attain that forgiveness we have to forgive ones who hurt us beyond our capacity
I don't understand how the scholars can tell abused or unfairly treated people to forgive the abuser or they will not give forgiveness from Allah swt. they should give comforting advice for victims and not shove another problem down their throat
Depends what meaning you attach to the word forgive. For me, just as an example, it was knowing that that person did me wrong, knowing I had good people supporting me, feeling angry for what happened to me without acting it out (this one I think is very important) and knowing Allah’ justice is perfect and will prevail. Here or after. I am going about my life and enjoying it and not spending too much thoughts on that person. That’s what forgiveness looks like to me. It reflects my own healing irrespective or where that person is that (remorseful or not).
Scholars don’t randomly say it. It’s in Islam. But if you pardon and overlook and forgive - then indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful” [at-Taghabun 64:14]. And Ahmad (6255) narrated from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘As from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) that he said, when he was on the minbar: “Show mercy, and you will be shown mercy; forgive, and Allah will forgive you.” and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful” [an-Nur 24:22].
When someone forgive it doesn’t mean u don’t seek justice u do all the means to get ur rights, but you take it out the pain from in you by forgiving to move on with ur life if you can’t forgive the only person you can harm is yourself.
Narrated Anas: Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Help your brother, whether he is an oppressor or he is an oppressed one. People asked, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! It is all right to help him if he is oppressed, but how should we help him if he is an oppressor?" The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "By preventing him from oppressing others." Sahih al-Bukhari 2444 We should forgive but not forget
For someone coming from a dad who abused me emotionally and says the most hurtful things I usually was so angry at him and I said i can't forgive him. I woke up for tahajud today and begged Allah swt to help me forgive him cause I know how much mercy Allah has shown me and I don't want him to never forgive. Being a Muslim makes me a better person daily seeing this video is a confirmation I did the right thing alhamdullai
same story here :( my dad abused me and my family and my beloved mom in many ways i’d rather not mention. i used to resent him thinking how can a father do this to his family. recently as i got close to my religion i finally learned to forgive him. it took me at least 6 years to get to this point, but it happened alhamdullilah realizing i could be the reason my dad goes to hell made me feel awful, i couldn’t bear being the reason for it. my Allah reward me and my family for what we’ve endured…
Being unjust to yourselves vs being unjust to others is two completely different things. Allah is justice! If you do wrong to others, you will pay for it, whether in this world or the next.
I have forgave all of them who abused me n used me for their selfishness....but I won't forget it. I recently started to understand that my better half is too much selfish towards me and all these years of sufferings are bcoz of my better half....when i realised it, it's too late, my age/body/health/savings/confidence/family is all gone....im like a orphan now, instead of my better half is with me.... Im devastated but I'm holding on to my RABB.... I started to practice silent. I forgave my better half but I won't forget bcoz its a reminder that closest of people can also hurt you.... Only the RABB is forever with you, no one else 😔
Only those who haven't been abused, traumatised, and oppressed themselves tell those who have been through it all to forgive. It's easy to tell others when you haven't been through it yourself.
Alhamdulillahi Rabbi alameen for everything. To gain forgiveness, we to need to forgive. Allahumma please grant upon us Ar Rahman Ar Rahmeen Your infinite Afiyah for both worlds Allahumma ameen Rabbi alameen
In the quran it even says we can take revenge within certain boundaries, but it is better to forgive, so not forgiving is not a sin. Sure if we can forgive it is better for us, but given the fact the mother and daughter didn't take revenge that alone is very hard. Maybe one day when their wounds are healed they forgive, but even if they don't that's ok. We are not God, let's not even compare.
Six ways to earn even after death 1. Give someone a copy of Qur'an, everytime they read it you earn 2. Donate a wheelchair to a hospital, everytime someone sick sits in it you earn 3. Participate in building a masjid 4. place a water-cooler in a public space 5. Plant a tree, everytime a human or animal sits in it's shade you gain 6.and the easiest, share this message with others, whenever someone reads it you gain. May Allah help everyone.
@Gazala-06 You write instructions for good deeds and give 6 examples....?! To do good deeds, You don't need instructions (at first, second, third...). Are you serious? Good things/deeds come automatically from the heart without needing or following instructions. That's a clear sign of lack of emoticons, empathy and connection to God! Persons, who write or need instructions for this, are very far away from themselves and God. I really can't believe it.....😳 Greetings from Germany....🇩🇪 🙋🏻♀️
@@andreamck4521he didn t give 6 examples of good deeds .. these are continuous good deed ....continuous hasanat ...those are examples of deeds that are still going on even after death ...and that the person gains hasanat which are still growing even when he s not in this life anymore ... Not every body knows that these kind of deeds exist .....and giving that information ..that knowledge is also a continuous good deed if it is wilde spread
When you go to bed each night, please do this special ritual. Ask sincerely for forgiveness from Allah and also declare sincerely that you forgive all those who have wronged you. It will free your heart and mind.
Forgiveness is a great virtue and only the humble ones can realize its glory but there are certain crimes that cannot be forgiven and in fact Allah forbids us to forgive them.
MashaAllah when l get to see this beautiful woman giving message or maybe l say dawaah whatever it is l remember my mum who is far from me working because of her and my kids l love this mum very strong at that age she is now may ALLAH grant her and her family jannatul firdhous and shahada during her last minutes and also good health inshaAllah ❤❤❤
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting everything how the person hurt us and going back to be nice to that person. Forgiveness means you are taking control back from that person of hurting you. Because if you do not forgive you keep hurting yourself by the resentment and painful memories. But if you forgive, you will free yourself from misery. Forgiveness is for you, not for that person. You leave it to Allah. That does not mean forgetting everything, but learning lessons and never let anyone hurt you again. Thats why we find it difficult to forgive.
When Allah allows us to ask Him for justice for any injustice done to us in this life, who is she to tell me to forgive the people who ruined my life and cheated me of my inheritance
When you forgive n move on.... It's becomes HIS(SWT), HE(SWT) will take care of things for you.... If you hold on to it, it creates hatred, foul thoughts, heart burns n finally you will loose the sweetest in your heart n life becomes hard.... You can forgive but don't forget coz we will be vigilant so that we won't be used again......
It also depends to what level the person has been wronged. Ofcourse we all want to forgive but sometimes we also want certain individuals to pay for the damage they have caused others.
One the hardest things to do is to forgive when your heart has been completely shuttered to pieces. I personally do not believe that forgiveness gives peace, unless it has been completely suffered through. It needs time to reach there and may Allah bring us all to that stage
Exactly we keep on disobeying Allah and still ALLAH accepts our repentance we are told even if its in form of the whole river but instead we dont forgive our fellows or spouses may ALLAH forgive us all inshaAllah
Keep forgiving is Divine. As humans, we have our limits. People forgive murderers of their children however making one of your children's life miserable than death is something that is almost impossible to be forgiven by a parent. Been there!
Prophet muhammad peace and blessings be upon him in a hadith was said to have not forgiven the woman who ate the heart of his uncle or companion. So no you don't have to forgive. We're Human we are not Allah. If someone has wronged you and continues to do so you just have to get away from those people.
@@ArubaAysha Indeed. If we still give the abusers unconditional acceptance, they will continue abusing us. How weird that many societies put the blame on the victims for not forgiving, when in fact the perpetrators who caused the problem. This misconception has caused too much pain and abuse to continue and even death.
That was Hind the wife of abu sufyan and the slave Wahshi but Prophet forgave them both when they accepted islam but he could not forget what was done to Hamza (RA)..
@@nadiajr1500forgiveness doesn’t mean acceptance. You can remove them from your life to protect your future but forgive in your heart, meaning don’t be angry and don’t wish bad on them
@@ummabdullah7601 Indeed, this is how I understood forgiveness as well. However, many other people misunderstood forgiveness as unconditional acceptance. Believe it or not. Many even abuse the concept of forgiveness by victim blaming that actually enables the perpetrators to continue with their abuse, whether physically, mentally or verbally.
I am a very forgiving person.But believe me sometimes i am not able to forgive no matter how much i try.Its because of the enormous amount of hartred i receive.I tell people to forgive,but i dont impose it on them to forgive.I think we all need time to heal, we all need time to overcome the trauma and someone forcing us to forgive the oppressor without understanding how we feel is just another trauma.
Sister is right. If you don't forgive than you will live with a lot of hatred and resentment in your heart and chess. This will effect your own health and how you treat others. So you forgive for the sake of Allah and for your own mental and physical health
It’s another reason to feel grateful to our Creator…He SWT forgives us after all the disobedience we do. We should also work towards that, but we don’t need to feel guilty if we are not there yet…it’s a journey of growth and spirituality that Our Creator takes us through. Some ppl will never get there, some have already achieved how to forgive the most painful of relationships. Don’t forget, There is a story of a companion of the Prophet PBUH who used to forgive everyone, every night before he sleeps in an effort that Allah forgives him and enters him into Jannah, and because of this daily practice of forgiveness the man was blessed with the good news of paradise.
Absolutely 💯. It is God given right to forgive or not. Most people do when they are ready or healed enough, but it shouldn't be forced and made the victim to feel guilt. Allah did not condition that forgivness between humans to his forgivness. What does Sheikha mean you are not there yet.
With all due respect Allah mentioned in the Qur'an those who do good and those who do bad are not equal... Allah never forgives anyone if they never ask for forgiveness and have guilt and remorse for what they have done. Who are we forgiving if there's no forgiveness for the actions they have done? Having these emotions is very normal for being human and we should not shun those emotions and let them naturally process it and move on life without the need to forgive it..
It’s okay not to forgive and want retribution. Allah Himself will judge us and punish the guilty. It is well within human nature to seek justice and fairness. However, I get her point too. We should try to forgive. Then there’s one more thing: did the man ASK for forgiveness? Even Allah asks us to ask for forgiveness. Not seeking forgiveness when you are wrong is the nature of the devil.
@adjibattahir1881 Why do you repeat this praise so often in a row? It is self-evident (!) and will no more believeable by repeating it constantly in a row! The more often people emphasize something, that is self-evident, the more unbelievable they appear to me! Greetings from Germany 🇩🇪🤗
It’s our own soles that we want Allah to accept & forgive, but I totally understand you. I’m still asking Allah swta to help me forgive my husband. What he did caused me great grief, and his arrogance made it worse. I even ask Allah to help me achieve that, because, who are we to not forgive, but our Creator can? Believe me when I say that I understand 100% where you’re coming from and for the sake of Allah, I hope that I’ll get there asap!…the next minute isn’t promised.
Sis unfortunately married a passport husband she worked two jobs heavy pregnant to help apply for his visa She drove him to his arabic teaching jobs she did everything for him His addiction to his mother social life was much more important Used abused took full advantage of her She has a hernia from giving birth to the sons he wanted still suffering from medical Problems. He divorced remarried his first choose women and had been blessed with everything while sister still Suffering It’s not easy to forgive especially he’s has destroyed her life future
I'm going to tell you something you need to know. It is very hard to forgive.. Takes time, energy etc. But you do realise forgiveness is for your own sanity. It is not for him, it is for you so that you can move forward as a family. Your sister will need time and sometimes she may even have outbursts but it's not directed at you she may feel helpless given everything that happened. I can tell you now, her life is not ruined by him. Do not ever say this. Her life has a different path now. She will be successful strong. Allah has the power to change lives and He gives each a test. Our purpose as women is to make Allah no1 only.. Not the world
@@shamailaahmed7442 she’s not strong she still fears her ex he’s lightly stalks her Found out where she Lives twice! following her to the kids school now he’s moving up the street from her parents home to keep and direct eye. She lives in fear and constantly on edge Without actual evidence or him direct approach her she can’t do nothing cuz she a women If she remarried her ex would have lost and stayed Away since he fears men
Agreed with sis Shamaila , to say he 'destroyed' your sister's life is limiting her whole life to her association with that abuser try to make her feel positive
We don't do anything to Allah nor do we destroy Him. As Allah says many times in the Qur'ān "They wrong themselves" not Allah. We can't inflict any harm upon Him. He knows what is in our hearts but we know not what is in His.
Does a man who ruins you or your daughter worth forgiving? Forgive him and he will do the same to someone else. I personally think it is wrong to forgive such a person.
سبحان الله وبحمده سبحان الله العظيم استغفر الله و اتوب اليه سبحان الله وبحمده عدد خلقه ورضا نفسه وزنة عرشه ومداد كلماته سبحان الله وبحمده عدد خلقه ورضا نفسه وزنة عرشه ومداد كلماته سبحان الله وبحمده عدد خلقه ورضا نفسه وزنة عرشه ومداد كلماته سبحان الله وبحمده سبحان الله العظيم استغفر العظيم
This happened to my friend, her husband cheated her continuously for 10years with thousands of girls and she always forgave him and always saying “he did mistake” gurllll that is not mistake, mistake is one time two times this is thousands times means habit. I don’t understand to people who still stay and let man like that fool them and tolerate the wrong things 😢
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "A believer is not stung twice (by something) out of one and the same hole." Forgiveness doesn’t mean let them keep wronging you.
"Yes, we should try to forgive each other as much as we can. Forgiving is something beautiful and very important. But we really need to focus on the people who destroy someone else's life. As Muslims, we should never cross certain boundaries. The focus should be on fearing Allah when doing terrible things to others, not on whether the victim forgives or not. How can a mother ever forgive a man who treated her child so cruelly? There are horrible events, like a mother losing her child to a pedophile, or someone setting your house on fire and your children don’t survive... We really need to be careful about pushing people to forgive in these situations. That just shows how unfeeling we can be. Forgiveness takes time and happens step by step. At least give someone the space and time to forgive, especially with such heartless actions. Be careful with a heart that has already been through so much pain." so to say you are not there yet when the person is in state of pain is so wrong. These words are more for the one who committed the atrocities. May Allah guide us in sha Allah 🤲🏼.
Trust me it is perfectly fine if you are unable to forgive someone emotionally however of that person repented, just don't curse him/her, don't remind them of their sin, simply ignore them and only talk to the point or don't talk, human is weak sometime hurt to the extent where he/she can't forgive.
SubhaanAllah I respect and even love many scholars for sharing their wisdom and I pray for them by taking their names in my deepest du’as. I could be wrong I’m just human, I truly feel scholars must be careful speaking on matters like forgiveness for men abusing women. After all, forgiveness of Allah is Allah’s- he is ghafoorur Raheem, yes we can forgive and pray for a person but wanting us humans to compare our repentance from Allah and a human’s repentance from us- mere humans is weak, very weak. No woman should be made to feel guilt using the most High’s name, if she is hurt she is hurt, leave her with empowering words from the Quran why force her to forgive? It’s between her and Allah. Eventually maybe she herself will come to a point where she can forgive but why make her feel guilty by reminding her, her position of seeking forgiveness from Allah? That comparison is VERY unfair
So true. Empathy is lost hence these problems what if he had non for us parts of us are so genuine especially our children globally This woman reminds me of my mother I hope they would be amazing friends in JANNAH It’s such a shame we waste years on ppl who harm us instead of loving one another It’s not to late Bismillah al Raheem al Rahim Allahu akbar
I m also a divorced woman and i m also gone through this pain. Its hurt i try to forgive them for shake of Allāh but the trauma still haunt me. I am not able trust anyone now.
She is right ❤ It s not easy to get there but once you do then it’s a huge step !! A step that gets you rewards and blessings! A step that gets you closer than ever to Allah!! A step that let you enter Jannah ❤ So yes it’s worth the step ! Amin 🙌⏰👍🙏
We have the right to not forgive someone and get our haqq from them on the day of judgement BUT if we forgive it’s much better for us. We can’t expect people to forgive someone who’s done horrible brutal things to us or our family members.
ASTGHFURALLAH ASTGHFURALLAH ASTGHFURALLAH PLEASE MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS! DON'T FORGIVE SOMEONE WHO ISN'T EVEN ASKING FOR FORGIVNESS! THE DEVIL IS YOUR ENEMY! TREAT HIM LIKE YOUR ENEMY ❤ LA ILAHA ILA ALLAH ☝️❤
We have to forgive ALLAH SWT always forgiving us for that we reveal and conceal so how xan we not forgive .if you don't forgive it will always weigh heavy on one's heart and how do we hold the Quran in our heart if we unforgiving toward anyone. This is why the world is in chaos because their all this unforgiveness and ugliness going on . ALLAH SWT knows best Ameen . Kasam, it is the best feeling to be free from this feeling and the weight of goodness feels so much better Ameen
@@NuriArieff I 100% AGREE that FORGIVENESS IS A MUST for an individual who claims to be a Muslim...But I ask you, DO you CURRENTLY forgive the Israeli IDF?
If we don't forgive them how can we expect forgiveness from the Almighty on the Day of Qiyamah. Prophet Mohammed Sallalaho Alayhi Wasalam was compassionate and forgave the people of Taif, the old woman who threw rubbish at the Prophet Mohammed Sallalaho Alayhi Wasalam. A person even not even in fault asks for forgiveness first is better in Allah Almighty's Sight. Hate the sin not the person!
@@kalislamyou are right but the same Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam did not say just forgive. He sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said this too “عن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه مرفوعاً: «مَنْ كَانَتْ عِندَهُ مَظْلَمَةٌ لِأَخِيهِ، مِنْ عِرْضِهِ أو مِنْ شَيْءٍ، فَلْيَتَحَلَّلْهُ مِنْهُ اليومَ قَبْلَ أَن لا يَكُونَ دِينَارٌ ولا دِرْهَمٌ؛ إِنْ كَانَ له عَمَلٌ صَالِحٌ أُخِذَ مِنْهُ بِقَدْرِ مَظْلَمَتِهِ، وَإِن لَمْ يَكُنْ لَهُ حَسَنَاتٌ أَخَذَ مِنْ سَيِّئَاتِ صَاحِبِهِ فَحُمِلَ عَلَيْهِ». Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated: "Whoever has a grievance against his brother, from his honor or from anything, let him redeem it today before there is neither dinar nor dirham; if he has a good deed, it will be taken from him in proportion to his grievance, and if he has no good deeds, it will be taken from his friend's bad deeds and loaded on him." I think Here is the main thing. Forgive but if you can not forgive than leave it to Allah azza wa jall but do not or try to not have ill and enmity feelings towards someone. But if you still have angry feelings towards someone then try to control your angry and do not be unjust towards that person. Allah azza wa jall knows best
I have seen many lectures we dont have to forgive abusers.In fact we are told to protect ourselves and walk away. The oppressors will be held to account by Allah swt.. this is a snippet and doesn’t make sense. As I listen to many of the great scholars of our times who have never said forgive the people who have hurt, abused and harmed you. Mufti Menk says if you hurt someone it is a debt against your name Allah will never let it got 1 year , 10 years or 20 years it’s coming for you.
If everything is to be forgiven why would Allah say he will punish the zalim in this duniya and aakhirah?? Why would there be a day of hisab?? Why is the shariah with harsh punishment for the wrong doings?? There are multiple options for the oppressed person to forgive,to take revenge or to ask Allah for justice in aakhirah!! Because islam is the religion of haq and the oppressor and oppressed can't be the same!!!
I listen and read A LOT of posts seeking advice from male perspective AND female perspective. And I'll say this: men have their faults and do unforgivable things and women have their faults and do unforgivable things. Some things differ while others are no different. But one thing really stands out, maybe it hits me harder coz of the domestic abuse ive picked up in relatives' relationships, is multiple levels of disrespect and irresponsibility the men show their family, be it the wife, the kids or their own mothers siblings, etc. Listening/reading those posts it gave me another view of why Allah specifically instructs to "either retain them honorably or separate honourably" (65:2). Why such an instruction? Because without Islamic instructions men end up misbehaving. As is demonstrated by so many posts seeking help by BOTH muslims and non-muslims. Now even muslim men are unfairly allocating FULL blame of world problems and issues onto women, wholst totally overlooking their own contributions to the mess. Yet NONE of these men talk about the misbehavior of women being a reaction to the misbehaviour of men. They demand that women set themselves straight but say nothing of themselves. My *personal opinion* is that if they are so keen solving problems then they need to start with themselves. As i said the misbehavior of women is " A REACTION", it is not the starting point. Quite often due to a domino effect of many things.
Allah Is Allah He Is All Forgiving Not us humans So don’t make a person who has been oppressed and doesn’t want to forgive, to forgive And don’t make them feel them Low by saying if Allah Can Forgive then you should too Allah Is Allah And we are humans May Allah Forgive us all And those who hurt us should face the consequences because they don’t stop their injustices and and so proud that they don’t ask for forgiveness
We are not Allah and cannot attain that level of forgiveness. And I don't believe we should put that burden on us us to try to achieve that. And certainly Allah is the most forgiving of us all
Thanks for telling that. I mean really...imagine someone dear to you got killed by someone through physical abuse and this abuse wasn't even happened once or twice. Ppl shouldn't be talking about things they didnt get into, they cannot fully emphatize the whole situation in my opinion.
Alhamdulillah you said this. We are human and we can never achieve the level of the Most Forgiving. We don't need to.
Exactly. Thank you for sharing this perspective.
Sorry to say that many people who talk about this issue including women and Muslim scholars are lacking empathy. Maybe because they or their loved ones have never experienced this level of betrayal or crime.
So far, Mufti Menk and Sheikh Suhaib Webb are the only Muslim scholars (that I discovered) who understood and have empathy for the victims. I have my utmost respect for them because of the fact that they are able to empathise with women who were abused even though they are men. Real gentlemen like them are very rare these days. May Allah bless them in this life and the hereafter.
Agreed
That way there is jugment Day, we May can't achieve Justice in this world, and there Allah judgement, it's ok we can't forgive, Allah alles that.
Forgiving is a choice.... But seeking justice and stopping the oppressor from oppression is also a duty smong Muslims.. And dua of oppressed is a right for a muslim...
Exactly
I guess forgiving, in a way, is freeing for the victim, they won’t have any feelings that distresses the victim. Allah knows best
We should try to forgive others. But if you can't forgive someone, it's ok. Don’t burden yourself. There was a time I couldn’t forgive some people. With time it changed. Now those people don't matter to me. I gave it all to ALLAH. He will deal with them.
Allah gives you right , if you dont wanna forgive someone its your right
It’s in Islam. But if you pardon and overlook and forgive - then indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful” [at-Taghabun 64:14]. And Ahmad (6255) narrated from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘As from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) that he said, when he was on the minbar: “Show mercy, and you will be shown mercy; forgive, and Allah will forgive you.” and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful” [an-Nur 24:22].
It’s in Islam. But if you pardon and overlook and forgive - then indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful” [at-Taghabun 64:14]. And Ahmad (6255) narrated from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘As from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) that he said, when he was on the minbar: “Show mercy, and you will be shown mercy; forgive, and Allah will forgive you.” and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful” [an-Nur 24:22].
Allah is Allah the almighty we are just mere human beings!
Yh that's what I'm thinking too. Its not easy to forgive a person especially when they have literally ruined a life. I know the speaker means well but this seems too harsh. Yes we all want to be forgiven by Allah but does that mean in order to attain that forgiveness we have to forgive ones who hurt us beyond our capacity
@@rashedamalikali8120 th-cam.com/video/pmohCV4IbLs/w-d-xo.htmlsi=oGYCXohKURdrRasu
Yes exactly! I do not agree with the speaker.
I don't understand how the scholars can tell abused or unfairly treated people to forgive the abuser or they will not give forgiveness from Allah swt. they should give comforting advice for victims and not shove another problem down their throat
Depends what meaning you attach to the word forgive. For me, just as an example, it was knowing that that person did me wrong, knowing I had good people supporting me, feeling angry for what happened to me without acting it out (this one I think is very important) and knowing Allah’ justice is perfect and will prevail. Here or after. I am going about my life and enjoying it and not spending too much thoughts on that person. That’s what forgiveness looks like to me. It reflects my own healing irrespective or where that person is that (remorseful or not).
Scholars don’t randomly say it. It’s in Islam. But if you pardon and overlook and forgive - then indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful” [at-Taghabun 64:14]. And Ahmad (6255) narrated from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘As from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) that he said, when he was on the minbar: “Show mercy, and you will be shown mercy; forgive, and Allah will forgive you.” and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful” [an-Nur 24:22].
They even support the abusers, to speak the truth.
The hate of someone itself destroys the victim sometimes and stops them moving on.
When someone forgive it doesn’t mean u don’t seek justice u do all the means to get ur rights, but you take it out the pain from in you by forgiving to move on with ur life if you can’t forgive the only person you can harm is yourself.
ALLAHU AKBAR ❤ LA ILAHA ILLAH LAAH ❤️ SUBHAN ALLAH ❤
Narrated Anas:
Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said, "Help your brother, whether he is an oppressor or he is an oppressed one. People asked, "O Allah's Messenger (ﷺ)! It is all right to help him if he is oppressed, but how should we help him if he is an oppressor?" The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "By preventing him from oppressing others."
Sahih al-Bukhari 2444
We should forgive but not forget
For someone coming from a dad who abused me emotionally and says the most hurtful things I usually was so angry at him and I said i can't forgive him. I woke up for tahajud today and begged Allah swt to help me forgive him cause I know how much mercy Allah has shown me and I don't want him to never forgive. Being a Muslim makes me a better person daily seeing this video is a confirmation I did the right thing alhamdullai
same story here :( my dad abused me and my family and my beloved mom in many ways i’d rather not mention. i used to resent him thinking how can a father do this to his family. recently as i got close to my religion i finally learned to forgive him. it took me at least 6 years to get to this point, but it happened alhamdullilah
realizing i could be the reason my dad goes to hell made me feel awful, i couldn’t bear being the reason for it. my Allah reward me and my family for what we’ve endured…
Subhanallah may Allah reward you with Jannah without reckoning, and make your affairs easy
Alhamdullilah ❤❤❤❤
Being unjust to yourselves vs being unjust to others is two completely different things. Allah is justice! If you do wrong to others, you will pay for it, whether in this world or the next.
I have forgave all of them who abused me n used me for their selfishness....but I won't forget it. I recently started to understand that my better half is too much selfish towards me and all these years of sufferings are bcoz of my better half....when i realised it, it's too late, my age/body/health/savings/confidence/family is all gone....im like a orphan now, instead of my better half is with me.... Im devastated but I'm holding on to my RABB.... I started to practice silent. I forgave my better half but I won't forget bcoz its a reminder that closest of people can also hurt you.... Only the RABB is forever with you, no one else 😔
Only those who haven't been abused, traumatised, and oppressed themselves tell those who have been through it all to forgive. It's easy to tell others when you haven't been through it yourself.
She's right .... time will heal inshaAllah
Alhamdulillahi Rabbi alameen for everything. To gain forgiveness, we to need to forgive. Allahumma please grant upon us Ar Rahman Ar Rahmeen Your infinite Afiyah for both worlds Allahumma ameen Rabbi alameen
In the quran it even says we can take revenge within certain boundaries, but it is better to forgive, so not forgiving is not a sin. Sure if we can forgive it is better for us, but given the fact the mother and daughter didn't take revenge that alone is very hard. Maybe one day when their wounds are healed they forgive, but even if they don't that's ok. We are not God, let's not even compare.
Masha Allah
Six ways to earn even after death
1. Give someone a copy of Qur'an, everytime they read it you earn
2. Donate a wheelchair to a hospital, everytime someone sick sits in it you earn
3. Participate in building a masjid
4. place a water-cooler in a public space
5. Plant a tree, everytime a human or animal sits in it's shade you gain
6.and the easiest, share this message with others, whenever someone reads it you gain.
May Allah help everyone.
Thanks.. may Allah bless you
❤❤❤
@Gazala-06 You write instructions for good deeds and give 6 examples....?!
To do good deeds, You don't need instructions (at first, second, third...). Are you serious? Good things/deeds come automatically from the heart without needing or following instructions. That's a clear sign of lack of emoticons, empathy and connection to God!
Persons, who write or need instructions for this, are very far away from themselves and God.
I really can't believe it.....😳
Greetings from Germany....🇩🇪 🙋🏻♀️
@@andreamck4521he didn t give 6 examples of good deeds .. these are continuous good deed ....continuous hasanat ...those are examples of deeds that are still going on even after death ...and that the person gains hasanat which are still growing even when he s not in this life anymore ...
Not every body knows that these kind of deeds exist .....and giving that information ..that knowledge is also a continuous good deed if it is wilde spread
When you go to bed each night, please do this special ritual.
Ask sincerely for forgiveness from Allah and also declare sincerely that you forgive all those who have wronged you.
It will free your heart and mind.
Forgiveness is a great virtue and only the humble ones can realize its glory but there are certain crimes that cannot be forgiven and in fact Allah forbids us to forgive them.
MashaAllah when l get to see this beautiful woman giving message or maybe l say dawaah whatever it is l remember my mum who is far from me working because of her and my kids l love this mum very strong at that age she is now may ALLAH grant her and her family jannatul firdhous and shahada during her last minutes and also good health inshaAllah ❤❤❤
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting everything how the person hurt us and going back to be nice to that person. Forgiveness means you are taking control back from that person of hurting you. Because if you do not forgive you keep hurting yourself by the resentment and painful memories. But if you forgive, you will free yourself from misery.
Forgiveness is for you, not for that person. You leave it to Allah.
That does not mean forgetting everything, but learning lessons and never let anyone hurt you again.
Thats why we find it difficult to forgive.
When Allah allows us to ask Him for justice for any injustice done to us in this life, who is she to tell me to forgive the people who ruined my life and cheated me of my inheritance
When you forgive n move on.... It's becomes HIS(SWT), HE(SWT) will take care of things for you.... If you hold on to it, it creates hatred, foul thoughts, heart burns n finally you will loose the sweetest in your heart n life becomes hard.... You can forgive but don't forget coz we will be vigilant so that we won't be used again......
Forgiving is always the better choice for your Dunja and akhira. You will get more ajr and your heart is free from hatred.
It also depends to what level the person has been wronged. Ofcourse we all want to forgive but sometimes we also want certain individuals to pay for the damage they have caused others.
@@maryammirza1020 yes it is your right ...and by paying the dammage it s easier to forgive after
nsh ALLAH
ALLAH SOBHANOU, make it easy for us to be there
One the hardest things to do is to forgive when your heart has been completely shuttered to pieces. I personally do not believe that forgiveness gives peace, unless it has been completely suffered through. It needs time to reach there and may Allah bring us all to that stage
I forgiven everyone nd wish for people to forgive me before the end. Ameen
Ameen😢
Ameen
Exactly we keep on disobeying Allah and still ALLAH accepts our repentance we are told even if its in form of the whole river but instead we dont forgive our fellows or spouses may ALLAH forgive us all inshaAllah
Keep forgiving is Divine. As humans, we have our limits. People forgive murderers of their children however making one of your children's life miserable than death is something that is almost impossible to be forgiven by a parent. Been there!
Hasbunallah ve ni’mel wakil nimel mevla ve ni’men nasır
Prophet muhammad peace and blessings be upon him in a hadith was said to have not forgiven the woman who ate the heart of his uncle or companion. So no you don't have to forgive. We're Human we are not Allah. If someone has wronged you and continues to do so you just have to get away from those people.
@@ArubaAysha
Indeed. If we still give the abusers unconditional acceptance, they will continue abusing us. How weird that many societies put the blame on the victims for not forgiving, when in fact the perpetrators who caused the problem. This misconception has caused too much pain and abuse to continue and even death.
That was Hind the wife of abu sufyan and the slave Wahshi but Prophet forgave them both when they accepted islam but he could not forget what was done to Hamza (RA)..
You nail it
@@nadiajr1500forgiveness doesn’t mean acceptance. You can remove them from your life to protect your future but forgive in your heart, meaning don’t be angry and don’t wish bad on them
@@ummabdullah7601
Indeed, this is how I understood forgiveness as well. However, many other people misunderstood forgiveness as unconditional acceptance. Believe it or not. Many even abuse the concept of forgiveness by victim blaming that actually enables the perpetrators to continue with their abuse, whether physically, mentally or verbally.
سبحان الله وبحمده سبحان الله العظيم
May Allah forgive us and all our dear ones!
Allahumma Ameen
Shukran mommy may Allah grant you Jannatul Fridaus ameen thumaamin
Allahu Akbar Maa Shaa Allah Alhamdulillah ❤❤❤
I am a very forgiving person.But believe me sometimes i am not able to forgive no matter how much i try.Its because of the enormous amount of hartred i receive.I tell people to forgive,but i dont impose it on them to forgive.I think we all need time to heal, we all need time to overcome the trauma and someone forcing us to forgive the oppressor without understanding how we feel is just another trauma.
Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah 🕋🕌☪️💚☪️☪️ Allahuakhbar Allahuakhbar from Malaysia 🇲🇾🇲🇾🇲🇾🇲🇾🇲🇾🇲🇾
Forgiveness is necessary for ones own mental health. For not forgiving, is like taking poison and waiting for the other to die from it.
لا اله الا الله الله اكبر سبحان الله لا حول ولا قوة الا بالله الحمدلله
I do try to forgive all those who hearted me very badly only for the sake of Allah why bcoz Allah also forgive us many times
Sister is right. If you don't forgive than you will live with a lot of hatred and resentment in your heart and chess. This will effect your own health and how you treat others. So you forgive for the sake of Allah and for your own mental and physical health
It’s another reason to feel grateful to our Creator…He SWT forgives us after all the disobedience we do. We should also work towards that, but we don’t need to feel guilty if we are not there yet…it’s a journey of growth and spirituality that Our Creator takes us through. Some ppl will never get there, some have already achieved how to forgive the most painful of relationships. Don’t forget, There is a story of a companion of the Prophet PBUH who used to forgive everyone, every night before he sleeps in an effort that Allah forgives him and enters him into Jannah, and because of this daily practice of forgiveness the man was blessed with the good news of paradise.
سبحان الله وبحمده سبحان الله العظيم استغفر الله و اتوب اليه
God has infinite resources. You don’t need to forgive anyone.
Absolutely 💯. It is God given right to forgive or not. Most people do when they are ready or healed enough, but it shouldn't be forced and made the victim to feel guilt. Allah did not condition that forgivness between humans to his forgivness. What does Sheikha mean you are not there yet.
33x SubanAllah
33x Allahuakbar
33x Alhamdullilah
With all due respect Allah mentioned in the Qur'an those who do good and those who do bad are not equal... Allah never forgives anyone if they never ask for forgiveness and have guilt and remorse for what they have done.
Who are we forgiving if there's no forgiveness for the actions they have done?
Having these emotions is very normal for being human and we should not shun those emotions and let them naturally process it and move on life without the need to forgive it..
Mom loves you ❤
It’s okay not to forgive and want retribution. Allah Himself will judge us and punish the guilty. It is well within human nature to seek justice and fairness. However, I get her point too. We should try to forgive.
Then there’s one more thing: did the man ASK for forgiveness? Even Allah asks us to ask for forgiveness. Not seeking forgiveness when you are wrong is the nature of the devil.
No, you can't compare.. some are not for us to forgive
SubhanAllah 😥😥❤❤❤
Subhanallah Subhanallah Subhanallah Subhanallah Subhanallah Subhanallah Subhanallah Subhanallah Subhanallah
@adjibattahir1881 Why do you repeat this praise so often in a row?
It is self-evident (!) and will no more believeable by repeating it constantly in a row!
The more often people emphasize something, that is self-evident, the more unbelievable they appear to me!
Greetings from Germany 🇩🇪🤗
SubHan Allah, Allah Hu Akbar!!! Alhumdulillah, Jajjakallah Hu Khairan, Ameen.❤❤❤
❤❤❤❤❤
It’s our own soles that we want Allah to accept & forgive, but I totally understand you. I’m still asking Allah swta to help me forgive my husband. What he did caused me great grief, and his arrogance made it worse. I even ask Allah to help me achieve that, because, who are we to not forgive, but our Creator can? Believe me when I say that I understand 100% where you’re coming from and for the sake of Allah, I hope that I’ll get there asap!…the next minute isn’t promised.
Subhanoallah
لا اله الا انت سبحانك اني كنت من الظالمين.
MashaAllah
Alhamdulillah🎉
Subhanallah ❤❤
Amazing ❤️❤️❤️
Alhamdulillah ☝️💚💚💚💚💚💚
Sis unfortunately married a passport husband she worked two jobs heavy pregnant to help apply for his visa
She drove him to his arabic teaching jobs she did everything for him
His addiction to his mother social life was much more important
Used abused took full advantage of her
She has a hernia from giving birth to the sons he wanted still suffering from medical
Problems.
He divorced remarried his first choose women and had been blessed with everything while sister still Suffering
It’s not easy to forgive especially he’s has destroyed her life future
I'm going to tell you something you need to know. It is very hard to forgive.. Takes time, energy etc. But you do realise forgiveness is for your own sanity. It is not for him, it is for you so that you can move forward as a family. Your sister will need time and sometimes she may even have outbursts but it's not directed at you she may feel helpless given everything that happened. I can tell you now, her life is not ruined by him. Do not ever say this. Her life has a different path now. She will be successful strong. Allah has the power to change lives and He gives each a test. Our purpose as women is to make Allah no1 only.. Not the world
@@shamailaahmed7442 she’s not strong she still fears her ex he’s lightly stalks her
Found out where she Lives twice! following her to the kids school now he’s moving up the street from her parents home to keep and direct eye.
She lives in fear and constantly on edge
Without actual evidence or him direct approach her she can’t do nothing cuz she a women
If she remarried her ex would have lost and stayed Away since he fears men
😢...may ALLAH(SWT) grant her ease... Aameen
@@shamailaahmed7442❤
Agreed with sis Shamaila , to say he 'destroyed' your sister's life is limiting her whole life to her association with that abuser try to make her feel positive
We don't do anything to Allah nor do we destroy Him. As Allah says many times in the Qur'ān "They wrong themselves" not Allah. We can't inflict any harm upon Him. He knows what is in our hearts but we know not what is in His.
Does a man who ruins you or your daughter worth forgiving? Forgive him and he will do the same to someone else. I personally think it is wrong to forgive such a person.
Forgive him or not is your choice. Protect yourself from that person is a must.
True
Yaa Allah forgive us, thank you for these wonderful words.
Subhan'Allah Masha'Allah Alhamdulilah
سبحان الله وبحمده سبحان الله العظيم استغفر الله و اتوب اليه
سبحان الله وبحمده عدد خلقه ورضا نفسه وزنة عرشه ومداد كلماته
سبحان الله وبحمده عدد خلقه ورضا نفسه وزنة عرشه ومداد كلماته
سبحان الله وبحمده عدد خلقه ورضا نفسه وزنة عرشه ومداد كلماته
سبحان الله وبحمده سبحان الله العظيم استغفر العظيم
SubhanAllah
This happened to my friend, her husband cheated her continuously for 10years with thousands of girls and she always forgave him and always saying “he did mistake” gurllll that is not mistake, mistake is one time two times this is thousands times means habit. I don’t understand to people who still stay and let man like that fool them and tolerate the wrong things 😢
This attitude is codependency.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "A believer is not stung twice (by something) out of one and the same hole."
Forgiveness doesn’t mean let them keep wronging you.
Alhamdulilah yarab yarahman yarahim❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
We will tray our best.
yes we try...it is hard though
All I ask is that allah forgive all my sins and to bring peace in my life I’m surrounded by snakes
SubhanaAllah
Allah swt forgives us when we feel remorse and ask for forgiveness. People who hurt us don't always feel sorry for what they have done though
"Yes, we should try to forgive each other as much as we can. Forgiving is something beautiful and very important. But we really need to focus on the people who destroy someone else's life. As Muslims, we should never cross certain boundaries. The focus should be on fearing Allah when doing terrible things to others, not on whether the victim forgives or not. How can a mother ever forgive a man who treated her child so cruelly?
There are horrible events, like a mother losing her child to a pedophile, or someone setting your house on fire and your children don’t survive... We really need to be careful about pushing people to forgive in these situations. That just shows how unfeeling we can be. Forgiveness takes time and happens step by step. At least give someone the space and time to forgive, especially with such heartless actions. Be careful with a heart that has already been through so much pain." so to say you are not there yet when the person is in state of pain is so wrong. These words are more for the one who committed the atrocities. May Allah guide us in sha Allah 🤲🏼.
Mash Allah for all your work 🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Trust me it is perfectly fine if you are unable to forgive someone emotionally however of that person repented, just don't curse him/her, don't remind them of their sin, simply ignore them and only talk to the point or don't talk, human is weak sometime hurt to the extent where he/she can't forgive.
Subhanallah, may Allah SWT grant us all the ability to forgive our brothers and sisters for their shortcomings ❤
And some want it and can’t still have 1️⃣ but some being bless with not even 1️⃣ but 2️⃣ and not satisfied treating them like some nothing SubhanAllah
Subhanallah×3
Alhamdulillah×3
Allahuakbar×3
Earn reward with small dikr😊❤
her point great
SubhaanAllah I respect and even love many scholars for sharing their wisdom and I pray for them by taking their names in my deepest du’as. I could be wrong I’m just human, I truly feel scholars must be careful speaking on matters like forgiveness for men abusing women. After all, forgiveness of Allah is Allah’s- he is ghafoorur Raheem, yes we can forgive and pray for a person but wanting us humans to compare our repentance from Allah and a human’s repentance from us- mere humans is weak, very weak. No woman should be made to feel guilt using the most High’s name, if she is hurt she is hurt, leave her with empowering words from the Quran why force her to forgive? It’s between her and Allah. Eventually maybe she herself will come to a point where she can forgive but why make her feel guilty by reminding her, her position of seeking forgiveness from Allah? That comparison is VERY unfair
♥️thank you. may allah bless u AND MAY GAFFOR FORGIVE U (the speaker and the youtube who posted this). AMEEN
Subhanalah Allahuakbar jazakalahu kairan ❤❤❤❤❤
So true. Empathy is lost hence these problems what if he had non for us parts of us are so genuine especially our children globally
This woman reminds me of my mother
I hope they would be amazing friends in JANNAH
It’s such a shame we waste years on ppl who harm us instead of loving one another
It’s not to late
Bismillah al Raheem al Rahim
Allahu akbar
Subhan Allah
Subhanallah
Alhamdulillah
Lailaha illalah
Allahu akbar
Astaghfirllah wa atubu ilayhi
Allahu akbar praise be to Allah may Allah continue to guide us 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢
I m also a divorced woman and i m also gone through this pain. Its hurt i try to forgive them for shake of Allāh but the trauma still haunt me. I am not able trust anyone now.
Yes. Goid remembrance.
She is right ❤
It s not easy to get there but once you do then it’s a huge step !!
A step that gets you rewards and blessings!
A step that gets you closer than ever to Allah!!
A step that let you enter Jannah ❤
So yes it’s worth the step !
Amin 🙌⏰👍🙏
We have the right to not forgive someone and get our haqq from them on the day of judgement BUT if we forgive it’s much better for us. We can’t expect people to forgive someone who’s done horrible brutal things to us or our family members.
❤❤❤❤❤😢
I try forgiving everyone who hurts me only by assuming that Allah will also forgive me at the judgement day.
ASTGHFURALLAH ASTGHFURALLAH ASTGHFURALLAH PLEASE MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS! DON'T FORGIVE SOMEONE WHO ISN'T EVEN ASKING FOR FORGIVNESS!
THE DEVIL IS YOUR ENEMY! TREAT HIM LIKE YOUR ENEMY ❤
LA ILAHA ILA ALLAH ☝️❤
We have to forgive ALLAH SWT always forgiving us for that we reveal and conceal so how xan we not forgive .if you don't forgive it will always weigh heavy on one's heart and how do we hold the Quran in our heart if we unforgiving toward anyone.
This is why the world is in chaos because their all this unforgiveness and ugliness going on . ALLAH SWT knows best Ameen .
Kasam, it is the best feeling to be free from this feeling
and the weight of goodness feels so much better Ameen
@@NuriArieff I 100% AGREE that FORGIVENESS IS A MUST for an individual who claims to be a Muslim...But I ask you, DO you CURRENTLY forgive the Israeli IDF?
If we don't forgive them how can we expect forgiveness from the Almighty on the Day of Qiyamah. Prophet Mohammed Sallalaho Alayhi Wasalam was compassionate and forgave the people of Taif, the old woman who threw rubbish at the Prophet Mohammed Sallalaho Alayhi Wasalam. A person even not even in fault asks for forgiveness first is better in Allah Almighty's Sight. Hate the sin not the person!
@@kalislamyou are right but the same Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam did not say just forgive. He sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said this too “عن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه مرفوعاً: «مَنْ كَانَتْ عِندَهُ مَظْلَمَةٌ لِأَخِيهِ، مِنْ عِرْضِهِ أو مِنْ شَيْءٍ، فَلْيَتَحَلَّلْهُ مِنْهُ اليومَ قَبْلَ أَن لا يَكُونَ دِينَارٌ ولا دِرْهَمٌ؛ إِنْ كَانَ له عَمَلٌ صَالِحٌ أُخِذَ مِنْهُ بِقَدْرِ مَظْلَمَتِهِ، وَإِن لَمْ يَكُنْ لَهُ حَسَنَاتٌ أَخَذَ مِنْ سَيِّئَاتِ صَاحِبِهِ فَحُمِلَ عَلَيْهِ».
Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated: "Whoever has a grievance against his brother, from his honor or from anything, let him redeem it today before there is neither dinar nor dirham; if he has a good deed, it will be taken from him in proportion to his grievance, and if he has no good deeds, it will be taken from his friend's bad deeds and loaded on him."
I think Here is the main thing. Forgive but if you can not forgive than leave it to Allah azza wa jall but do not or try to not have ill and enmity feelings towards someone. But if you still have angry feelings towards someone then try to control your angry and do not be unjust towards that person. Allah azza wa jall knows best
I have seen many lectures we dont have to forgive abusers.In fact we are told to protect ourselves and walk away. The oppressors will be held to account by Allah swt.. this is a snippet and doesn’t make sense. As I listen to many of the great scholars of our times who have never said forgive the people who have hurt, abused and harmed you. Mufti Menk says if you hurt someone it is a debt against your name Allah will never let it got 1 year , 10 years or 20 years it’s coming for you.
If everything is to be forgiven why would Allah say he will punish the zalim in this duniya and aakhirah?? Why would there be a day of hisab?? Why is the shariah with harsh punishment for the wrong doings?? There are multiple options for the oppressed person to forgive,to take revenge or to ask Allah for justice in aakhirah!! Because islam is the religion of haq and the oppressor and oppressed can't be the same!!!
May Allah help us all be His beloved Slaves.
I listen and read A LOT of posts seeking advice from male perspective AND female perspective. And I'll say this: men have their faults and do unforgivable things and women have their faults and do unforgivable things. Some things differ while others are no different. But one thing really stands out, maybe it hits me harder coz of the domestic abuse ive picked up in relatives' relationships, is multiple levels of disrespect and irresponsibility the men show their family, be it the wife, the kids or their own mothers siblings, etc. Listening/reading those posts it gave me another view of why Allah specifically instructs to "either retain them honorably or separate honourably" (65:2). Why such an instruction? Because without Islamic instructions men end up misbehaving. As is demonstrated by so many posts seeking help by BOTH muslims and non-muslims.
Now even muslim men are unfairly allocating FULL blame of world problems and issues onto women, wholst totally overlooking their own contributions to the mess. Yet NONE of these men talk about the misbehavior of women being a reaction to the misbehaviour of men. They demand that women set themselves straight but say nothing of themselves.
My *personal opinion* is that if they are so keen solving problems then they need to start with themselves. As i said the misbehavior of women is " A REACTION", it is not the starting point. Quite often due to a domino effect of many things.
Allah Is Allah
He Is All Forgiving
Not us humans
So don’t make a person who has been oppressed and doesn’t want to forgive, to forgive
And don’t make them feel them
Low by saying if Allah Can Forgive then you should too
Allah Is Allah
And we are humans
May Allah Forgive us all
And those who hurt us should face the consequences because they don’t stop their injustices and and so proud that they don’t ask for forgiveness
They are humans/Jinns even Allah wont forgive. Like Iblees.