because the adults were told to "act more like adults" when they were children and now that they are adults they no longer have someone telling them that and can behave more like children without being told off. It's a vicious cycle that repeats itself. Let kids be kids and they'll be more mature as adults.
It is more mature to realize that everyone has something that they enjoy and the simple fact that being able to enjoy something is a blessing without age limits. I would prefer to be happy with my Pokémon TCG playmat as a mouse pad than care about the opinion of generic stranger that has no joy in their eyes.
@@Armament0fJusticeexactly this. People who call out and make fun of "childish" behavior are ironically more immature. Adults who do this are just being immature bullies who project their own unhappiness on to others.
Whenever something is called childish, I recall this quote: “When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.” ― C.S. Lewis
I was going to comment that exact quote. The much longer full quote goes even harder: “Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”
@@kingjames4886 There’s a general backlash against difference going on, which I guess has just generally gone on, more or less, throughout history. The new thing, I’d say, is the push to STOP being xenophobic. We are all one species; we all have to share this planet together; that sort of thing. A good direction to move in, but a difficult one for many people. 🫤
@@ebwarg I mean it's all over the place and openly allowed. I just recently watched one of those cop bodycam type videos where a kid I can only assume is on the spectrum is being antagonized by the schools staff who are literally telling the kid "keep doing what you're doing, it's not bothering me" and they have to call the cops to end the abuse... they went and handcuffed the kid and once he wasn't surrounded by people antagonizing him he calmed right down. the abuse is real, and apparently youtube is fine with people profiting off it.
@@ebwargBut that would deprive the biological, legal father of access to his property and possibly discourage him from paying child support, which could result in the STATE having to support the child! HORRORS!!! 😱 (Just ALL the sarcasm; I’ve been involved with the family court system for over 15 years… 🫠)
I have far more plushies as an adult than as a kid! I have like almost a dozen! As a kid I had three. I don't even have an IKEA Blåhaj yet. Plushies are too nice to give up.
@@starlightplaysminecraft9743 agreed, adulting is stressful enough. Why do we have to rid ourselves of the things that bring us joy on top of it? It's like they want us to be miserable xD
A) You're never too old for plushies, whether you're neurotypical or neurodiverse. Plushies are awesome. B) You don't throw away someone else's property. That's just a mean, disrespectful thing to do, regardless of circumstance. C) People seriously need to be better educated about autism. I work in a special ed program for autistic students, and it never ceases to amaze me what attitudes some people can hold towards my students. We have kids of all ages who use all kinds of tools to navigate their day. Some of them use plushies and blankets. Some use sensory toys and chewies. Some use communication devices. When something works for them that's all that matters.
Throwing away another person's things is also criminal and theft. A person can be charged and convicted of a crime throwing away another person property. This does happen in domestic violence situation and this is considered a form of domestic violence. Better to find out they are A-hole early on run for the hills as this type of person is sound very abusive and won't change.
@chrismaxwell1624 When I was a child and even a bit into my adulthood when she'd "help" me clean, my mom often used the excuse of, "You didn't buy it, so it's not actually yours," when I begged her not to throw my treasured things away. People will find a way to justify it, unfortunately.
My cousin was born with moderate to severe cerebral palsy, and his dad took years to accept that he had a disability, and then many years more to accept that my cousin LIKED using a wheelchair, and wasn’t interested in another dozen surgeries to try and enable his legs to walk. It’s amazing the kind of thing a parent can turn a blind eye to. I hope I don’t parent like that.
🧡 Your cousin sounds strong-willed; that's good news! You won't parent like that; the sort of willful ignorance that comes from this sort of parenting is common (at least, online!) but unquestioningly ignorant.
Surgeries can be horrible and if he already had a bunch and he couldn't walk what is the likelihood that more would work? Good for him on being firm about what he wants.
I also have cerebral palsy. People ignoring how we want to live with our disability and trying to push us into their perfect little boxes is upsettingly common.
@@Phoenix_Left it frustrates me that the world taught me that OBVIOUSLY everyone would rather walk than use a wheelchair until my cousin shared his experience. It shouldn’t have been such a revelation. We need to make more space for people to be and think for themselves.
OP in story 2 is a bully, and so are his friends. He's well aware he wasn't "helping" his girlfriend, he was trying to control her, and if he thinks throwing away her property isn't that bad, he has a serious problem. If he has a problem with who his girlfriend is, he should have done her a favor and stepped off, before she had to tell him to. Same for OP and his friend's girlfriend in story three. They need to go away.
My husband complained about my love of plushies and then went out and cheated on me because of it. These people are getting upset about their partners sleeping with blankets, but really if that's all they have to complain about they're doing pretty good. They could have had a partner that was in active addiction or something, or else that was abusive. Then they'd wish it was only plushies and blankets that their partner was into.
I agree he was probably a bully in school as well who never learned his lesson. Schools seem to believe that telling the bullies what they did was wrong is enough for them to understand why they shouldn't do it and stop. But because they refuse to actually punish them the bullies never learn to stop and will continue their behaviour way into adulthood. I believe this is one of the reasons why we hear so many stories about people harassing retail and restaurant staff. TLDR: If schools actually punished bullies for their behaviour the world would be filled with less jerks. Although some may continue despite the punishment and be told why bullying is bad.
@@StormTGDmaybe you underestimate how well people can rationalise their aggressive behaviour even if they do get punished for it. plus, i don't think all of those people register on the radar in school as bullies. though of course that might just be because they manage to not get caught.. mine certainly never were. i totally agree though that it's bullying behaviour, or highly entitled, whichever you want to call it. these people definitely have got away with being allowed to be full of themselves. they don't understand that interpersonal contact is a negotiation of personal comfort, and they can't just argue "i am normal, so you better follow my lead" - and that's ignoring the fact that a lot of people's normalcy is an illusion to begin with but even if it is factual it's not a valid basis for an argument.
My daughter had a doll that she carried around until it was literally falling apart and was a face with some fabric . It was disturbing, but it was important for her comfort, so having her throw it away was never even considered. This was long before we knew she was autistic, but it was obviously what she needed. How much more so if we had known she was autistic? Now, many years later and working on my own autism diagnosis, I am continually dumbfounded by the complete lack of empathy shown by so many neurotypical people. They’ll say the right words, but the actions give lie to those words.
Just curious, but why is it "disturbing" that your daughter carried a doll? To me, disturbing is watching true crime documentaries of serial killers. How is carrying a doll anywhere close to that category?
@@thetickedoffpianoplayer4193 carrying a doll isn’t disturbing. Even caring a dirty baby face (not the entire head, mind you, just the face) with eyes that have started to rub off that is surrounded by nothing but tatters of fabric is not disturbing. But the face itself? Highly disturbing.
@@thetickedoffpianoplayer4193 no reason to be sorry. I can totally see how what I wrote could be interpreted that way since nobody got to actually see said child hauling around said baby face, so I’d question it, too.
My grandma used to use sharpie to fix the eyes on my stuffed animals, now I use nail polish because it’s more long lasting. I would throw my stuffies and take them with me on the playground and whatnot.
My mother got rid of a few dolls that I really couldn’t part with when I was 18. These dolls were extremely important to me and I was really devastated, I thought I would keep them forever. I’ve never forgotten. As an older woman, I have a really soft shawl that I sleep with now. It’s great that it just looks like I’m sleeping with it to keep warm, I can wrap it around me watching tv and not be ridiculed for carrying around a blanket. Love this thing it’s perfect.
My mom and aunt took me to a build a bear workshop when i was around 5-6 years old. It was a magical experience and despite being rushed to make decisions faster, I had tons of fun and loved my little bear. I named it after myself on the certificate while I tried to think up a better name. Before I even had the chance to settle on a new name, my mom got sick of hearing the voicebox on my bear playing all day long. She threw it away while i was out at school and insisted that i must've lost it because i kept my room such a mess. But i remember hugging it and placing it on my bed before i left for school that day! This was over 20 years ago and I will never forgive her for throwing away that bear. I will never forget that betrayal. I finally bought a new bear a few years ago for some closure. They haven't sold the bear I had as a kid for a long time now, but i got a handsome, fluffy brown bear that looks vaguely similar and named him Vincent after van Gogh.
@@LilChuunosukethat is so sad, and is indeed a betrayal. What makes it really bad is that your mother gaslit you by lying and denying what she did and trying to make you believe it was your fault. That is a terrible, unmotherly act. I hope she feels the shame of that act to her dying day like a thousand needles in her soul.
@@LilChuunosuke Normal parents just either learn to live with it, or remove the battery inside (or the voicebox temporarily if removing the battery isn't an option). That was so incredibly cruel.
My mom and stepdad did that to me over and over again. I'm still in therapy and I wish I could tell her off, but she passed away. She did a lot of other stuff too, though, so there is that.
What's so striking to me about these stories is that they knew what their autistic partners were using the plushies for and that they helped them! Even though they clearly don't understand autism, all they had to do was believe what the autistic partners were telling them and respect it, period. Ugh
im horrified that there are allistic people who want to take action before talking it over with the autistic person. i think the talking should be the first step, i'm so baffled by why throwing away the item straight away was the "logical" thing to do. also i'm disappointed that the opinions of the allistic person's social group need to extend into a private personal relationship. it just seems so counter to the ideals of a loving relationship. this reminds me why dating never really worked well for me. i couldn't handle the allistic expectations of dating or living together. i need my home to be a sanctuary from judgement and the pressures of the world. i guess the good news is, now that i know i'm autistic, i know to look for other autistic people to date
Or try to find the good NTs. They do exist, and I know because I've been blessed to have some of them in my life. Unfortunately, the good ones and the bad ones look alike, so it's hard to tell the difference.
I mean I’m autistic but to me the obvious logical answer would be like…find out if there’s something worth being concerned about. Like “is there like a trauma response here that I could help with or is this just a soft texture thing”. Cause like if my loved one is desperately needing comfort from someone or something I would want to see if I can help.
I know right? Couldn't the third redditor's friends just talk it out, about how he really does love her, and that having an item of sentimental value does not make him love her less? Maybe she could've encouraged him to try venting to her instead (or at least in addition), as life partners are supposed to do? Seriously, it sometimes feels like NTs are allergic to direct communication...
I never realized there was so much blankie hate in the world! I wasn't allowed to take my childhood blankie to university. My Granny made it for me before I was born. I still miss it. At room temperature, it got this really neat and specific type of cold that I looked forward to every night. I'd wear it until it warmed up, then set it aside until it got room temperature again, then put it back on. I have since found another fuzzy blankie (doesn't do the same type of cold though), and a husband who not only understands and doesn't judge, but who has his own fuzzy blankie.
I had a blanket like that too! I would put my face on the blanket to feel that specific kind of cold, and then when it would warm up, I would shift around the blanket to another cold spot and enjoy that cold, rinse and repeat.
I'm 66. While I do not have the same toys I had as a child, Recently I got new ones for myself. I also have a pair of actual small dogs. Taking a stuffed animal or blanket away from someone is cruel. No ifs ands or buts. It's absolutely "grown up" to take care of yourself by having comfort items. Keep educating. People need to learn to treat EVERYONE with respect. And one should NEVER throw another person's belongings out. NEVER. EVER. THAT is a boundary violation for sure. It's toxic abuse to make decisions about what another person keeps to comfort themselves...no matter what it is or how you feel about it.
Gosh, average children going through a stressful time (like parents separating) will often cling to comfort items to help them through. So to deal with life & autism it's no wonder these kinds of items are so useful. I remember being particularly attached to a toy monkey I had during middle and high school. I would never give my kids a hard time for wanting their blankets or plushies.
I literally became attached to my comfort item due to the trauma of being autistic. I have an overwhelming fear of change. I rely on routine and familiarity to function. I recieved this plush as a congratulatory gift for graduating preschool. And in the 20+ years since then, it has been a grounding item I've used to help me cope with change. Any time I go through a big change, I seek it out.
12:47 "The actions of those who throw away or disregard these items reveal a lack of empathy about themselves... and they say we're the ones with limited empathy?" So true!
Yikes. The careless ignorance with which some people dish out hurt is astounding sometimes. Well at least this one person seemed to have learned their lesson and got the blanket back, that does restore a little hope in humanity. I hope his friend can forgive him. And no, one can not be too old for plushies. I still collect them in my forties, they are not only comforting to have around, they can be really beautiful and small works of art in themselves. I even have a little thornback ray sea flap flap, too. It is good to cherish some childishness and to protect that, it helps to stay sane, I think.
Exactly. It's important to know how to be an adult, but everyone I know who has removed everything childlike in their life is a miserable, bitter person who has no joy in their life. Heck all of that noise.
@@thetickedoffpianoplayer4193 I have noticed that too. That kind also likes to spread the misery, so it often well advised to take some distance, lest the bitterness spilles into ones own life.
Well, hoarding can be an issue. People buy something, remember it felt good in that moment, and don’t want to admit that it is useless and just collecting dust taking up space. However, there needs to be some compromise between throwing out cherished comfort objects and literally packing your room/home full of stuff you then never touch again. 🫤
@@misspat7555Even hoarders don’t benefit from somebody throwing their things away without consent. It only makes them anxious and more likely to isolate.
Right??? If an item is a dealbreaker for some reason, you TELL the person, and let THEM choose. You don’t choose for them like you own them. What a horrifically entitled thing to do. This would creep me out if a partner did this even if I wasn’t upset about losing the item. It’s indicative of a controlling mindset and is a major red flag.
I was taught to always respect other peoples belongings, I would never throw anything away if it belonged to anyone other than me. In fact In the past I have kept the things that the kids have said they want to get rid of because fairly often they will come back to me several months later asking about various items then I will come across those items again a year or so later and if they still don't want them then I will find a new home for the item.
Definitely - good plan. I get that collections can sometimes get out of control but in all situations - a kind conversation between adults should be able to resolve most conflicts!
I still have my childhood plushies and the ones of my adult son he didn't cared about as much as me😅. But I store them dustfree in boxes. Like my old dolls.
When I was nine years old, my cousin who is the same age as me had to assure me it's not embarrassing to still like my little pony. Now I still sleep with plushies and have cute blankets and lilo and stitch merch, amd I watch childhood cartoons while eating dinner with my siblings. Being mature doesn't mean neglecting your inner child.
It's really weird how obsessed people are with "being mature" and thinking "childish" things are bad. My favorite game uses bright colors and has a lot of cute, fun events and people get really weird about it. As if having cute, fun aesthetics makes it for "kids", despite the fact that the game tackles some pretty dark topics. It sounds like a lot of people seem to have the same weird view about stuff like plushies. Just because you have the responsibilities of adulthood doesn't mean you have to lose the joy of childhood. It doesn't even matter if you have a disability. Neurotypical people should be able to enjoy "childish" things too. Childish things are a net positive. Bright colors and cute things, things that are soft, these things hurt no one and make people happy. It just seems weird that people get so judgy over something like that.
@@turquoiseturquoiseturquois1174 barring any safety issues, why shouldn't it be OK? It's in the same catagory of wholesome fun that sledding and rolling down hills is in.
I am 26 years old. I still sleep with a plush dog named "Spot" in my bed that I recieved as a gift for graduating kindergarten. Growing up, I had multiple toys and trinkets taken away from me because my family believed I had an unhealthy obsession with it. I still remember my parents getting rid of my brand new Build a Bear while I was at school one day TWENTY YEARS AGO because I used to stim with the voice box button and it drove them insane. They pretended that I simply lost it, but there is no possible way that could be true. I also used to have a music box that I inherited after my grandmother passed. I used to turn the key and listen to the song whenever I thought of her. My brother eventually got so tired of listening to its song that he took a pair of wire cutters and snipped the prongs off so it would never be able to play music again. In response to this, my mother confiscated this heirloom from me so, and I quote, "you and your brother can stop fighting over it all the time." To them, these two items were just cheap knickknacks and toys. But to me, these items were priceless and I will never forgive them for destroying my belongings instead of communicating clearly that the frequency of the noise bothered them. I remember a time in my life where I had to pretend to be less attached to Spot just so my parents wouldn't throw him away too. It was deeply traumatizing and upsetting to have so little trust in people who were supposed to take care of me.
As an autistic adult, I still have my glow worms from when I was a newborn, and I love and cherish them greatly, they still hang out in bed with me as my snuggle buddies. It’s so hard to sleep without them. Edit: I’m 29, and we got my glow worm second hand so the guy is getting two lifetimes of love ❤
You're never too old for plushies. I'm 23, can't sleep without either my donkey Rosa, my stormtrooper pillow Sniper or my actual cat Maja (Sometimes she loves sleeping in my arms like a plushy) in my arms. And it already took some time to get used to Sniper, I have him in the dorm in the city where I study while Rosa (and of course Maja, but in the summer she rather roams at night anyways) are at my parents'. I'm not ashamed of that at all. And none of the people I really care about find it weird.
I think all 3 of those were a-holes. The last one slightly redeemed himself by getting the blanket back and having it cleaned, but it should never have happened in the first place. Such a disrespect for someone elses property is abhorrent! You're never too old for plushies, I'm in my 50s and I still have them and collect new ones 😊 Those kittens get more adorable every time we see them 😻 I love kitbit updates!
If my best friend threw away my treasured security item (a specific pillow, in my case), we most certainly would not be best friends anymore. As for the girlfriend, I would point to the door and say “don’t like it? You can leave if you want.” Because that relationship is clearly heading a toxic and controlling direction.
Could you imagine how much better society would be if people minded their own business? You don’t have to be a souless cog in the workforce popping out babies to be the next cogs when you’re an adult. You don’t have to abandon color to prefer everything with a gray/beige color palette. Just because they’re insecure about being themselves doesn’t mean they have to punish people that are happy
I was accused of fooling the Drs into giving me a false Autistic diagnosis. Called manipulative, back stabber, then i was threatened with rape and beaten. Was an awful weekend.
@@louisasmiles Wow. I'm so sorry. I've had it implied that I tricked the PhD psychologist who evaluated and diagnosed me, but not the rest. I'm so sorry that happened to you.
I'm an autistic adult who lives on my own and my house looks like a plushie toy chest had a case of wondering vomiting syndrome. They're all over, they're clean, they're loved. I hate it when people pull this shit. My childhood teddy was taken from me, I was inconsolable. When my brother threw it away, I was non functioning for months. I clung from one thing to another and now have a pillow for 20+ years and there will be all unholy hell to pay if it goes missing or is washed without my say so.
I'm autistic and absolutely adore plushies!! They keep my nervous system regulated and I stim a lot with them. I have this stuffed raccoon that I've had for about 8-9 years now (I'm 18 for reference) and it's one of my favorite plushies. I use it to stim (mainly a texture thing), I sleep with it, and it helps me through my meltdowns. There were many times where my family would judge me for being too "old" for stuffed animals and plushies, but that's stupid. Plushies have no age limit and are for everyone, autistic or not!
i have 3 special plushies i keep in my bed and they give me a sense of safety! i have a pusheen plush in a unicorn onesie that i got 3 years ago for my birthday, a boba axolotl plushie i got for a special occasion, and a another cute, funny cat plushie (who i call timmy) that i found for cheap in a shop
Half of the people doing this probably have a lucky shirt or some other comfort item of their own, but would never look at it in the same way because they've been conditioned that adults can't have fun or do things that are normally done by children.
A lot of establishments say once you're 4 you are too old for plushies. I believe you are never too old for plushies. "too old for plushies" is a range created by normies that range between 4 and 18 depending on how stringent the normie is.
I never even got into plushies until I was about 9 or 10, and then I started a big collection. When I was 4 I liked toy cars and anything to do with dogs. I’ve never gone off plushies. What’s not to like?
Why four? Never heard that. I could think for boys a patriarchy-based-society would set a border at maybe 10, 12 and for girls 18? Not that there IS one, just thinking of eventual society standards. And in that I wouldn't expect the young age of four.
Just a few days ago I was having an argument with my mom. I'm currently at the age of attending university or higher education, I always bring two small plushies everywhere with me, when going out for a meal or to school. My mom was very concerned the other day and said I have to grow up, that people will not take me seriously or that people will think I "have a problem" by bringing my plush toys to university. Even though I've been diagnosed by a psychiatrist of having autism and anxiety, my mom thinks it's all a result of me being "coddled" too much growing up, that I'm just "pretending" to be disabled and that everything is just a defect of my personality. It honestly hurts a lot, being an autistic girl is so misunderstood and stigmatized here in Asia. My mom wants me to grow up and grow out of this "autistic phase" when I'll never be able to, just because I've been born with this disability she passed down to me.
I'd say no you can never be too old for stuffed animals particularly if you're disabled and have sensory issues because of it I'm legally blind and autistic and still collect stuffed animals at nearly 40 yrs old. and have had some of them since I was a teenager
Throwing away someone else’s childhood toy is like throwing their family photos in the fireplace, they have memories attached to them that you can’t just replace. Even if you’re not autistic it’s okay to hold onto items you have nostalgia for and I don’t understand the judgement of it.
I think that any man who sees their girlfriend as childish therefore creepy to sleep with them over a blanket is the weird one... she is an adult and it's a small object. Then these idiots throw their personal belongings away? How can people be so foolish.
If he even thinks that about her, then she deserves better! Brakeup reason! He could atleast talk about it first like a normal person. By not saying anything, he infact decieves her to think he is supportive 💔
Bizarrely strong attachments to sentimental objects often are associated with childhood trauma or loss, or because new relationships and sources of comfort haven't appeared to replace old ones. Knifing someone directly in an old wound generally isn't a healing experience for them. I suppose a counter-argument could be made using the same metaphor that sometimes surgery is necessary, but if the patient is conscious, you generally get their permission first. And if someone's holding onto the past because they're discouraged about the present and don't see a future, demonstrating that their present friends can't be trusted isn't the way to help them.
I guess this was a good thing that came from my mom losing everything from her childhood in a house fire before I was born: throwing out my old toys when I got "too old" was never even considered. As a 28 year old autistic woman I think that if someone threw out my baby blanket I sleep with... well let's just say they wouldn't come away unscathed. And that I'd be digging it out of the dumpster. Same for my plushies and comfort toys.
When you're 18 you're autism goes away? Man, I think I have a few friends that didn't get the memo. I better go tell them it's time to shed their autism. It's like a snake thing right? You just like shed the autism like old skin? (Joking of course)
I knew a woman who deemed her 5 year old granddaughter too old for dolls! I kid you not! FIVE! That idea traumatized me at 30. I hope granddaughter isn't so affected, but I doubt that is the only control this poor ki was subjected to growing up.
I’m a neurotypical adult and I have never understood or will accept that there’s an age where one has to give up their plushies or other toys/ figurines/ animated shows/ whatever. I accept that some people simply grow out of them as their interests might change, but that isn’t everyone regardless of wether one is on the spectrum or not. I’m an adult and I still have my plushies from when I was a kid, to throw them out is like throwing out part of who I was as a child and who I still am, and in my perspective it’s also not only wasteful, but disrespectful to those who gave them to me and to those who have less. On a deeper level I see the people that expect a person to give up their childhood toys and interests is someone who has been conditioned to conform to a society that doesn’t appreciate individuality and creativity but instead favors drones who merely exist to keep the gears grinding. They’ve been taught a limiting way of living and viewing others and anyone who doesn’t fit into that worldview is “weird.” People that are young at heart are more creative and better at thinking up new ideas and solutions and the world benefits greatly from them.
I have around 30+ plushies.. I don't walk around with them, i would be way too scared of loosing them for that, but they honestly saved my life, my dog plush Nuser was the thing that got me through my SI as a kid, and yes, i did in fact have SI as kid, as far back as 8 years old.. I have always had this "rational" voice in my head i call it "The therapist voice", and as a child i would put i on my dog plush, it would be him telling me to breathe, that everything was okay, that i would get through it. If anyone had thrown him out, i think i would physically attack them, in a fit of uncontrollable rage, even my own mom. My plushies means the world to me, and I'm lucky to have found a partner who understands and think its cute, he even gave me more hehe! My partner grew up loving the feeling of those silk labels on duvets or some clothes, when he is stressed he fidget with some kind of label, to an extent where he has ruined multiple t-shirts, so i cut some of the labels of my clothes (the soft ones) and gave them to him so he can take them with him instead
And what about the kinds of people who throw away your stuff, any of it, all of it, over and over throughout your entire life and even worse have zero remorse for your distress. As far as I’m aware, to get rid of someone else’s property without their consent is not only unlawful, it’s a blatant violation. Such people can destroy the lives of others, as this typically will be but one of many completely unacceptable/damaging behaviours. Some of us grieve an inanimate object the same as if it had been living. We are not the problem, you are if you are the kind of person who refuses to want to learn or understand such things.
I've bought quite a few makeship plushies, especially from The_Click and ive got many plushies from my childhood. To make it better I'm also a furry, and i like cartoons, anime, and video games and roleplaying. What is actually childish is this kind of "ew no, thats for kids" behavior.
In my opinion no one is too old for their plushies, the plushie however might be too old to hold and to carry around then it graduates to being a looking plushie not a touching one. I cant hug my teddy bear from when i was little because it is too weak. I also have my moms teddy bear from when she was a little girl, way too weak and worn to touch or hold so it is safe in a vaccum bag in my memory box. ❤
The childish behavior is to throw away other people's things behind their back , then go and gossip around about their health or mental challenges. The people who do those things are emotionally imature , and emotionally lazy to feel empathy . I suspect that inside them they feel "jealousy" about the connection a person shows to this specific item (which might be because it is a comfort item for autism or any other challenge , or a deceised family member gift ot a heirloom or sometimes a really rare collectible etc there are several reasons why people show an attachment to things) .They feel this "jealousy" because they KNOW they can't provide comfort themselves for this person because they lack emotionally and instead of doing the work and become more empathetic they take it out to the item , throw it or destroy it in an attempt to CONTROL the other person in the relationship lock them in and leave them with no other choise than begging them for comfort which they will give whenever they like if they like . If they feel that much threatened by an item what will they do feel with other people in this persons life who might not be possitive towards them ?.food for thought ... the fact they try to justify themselves by gossiping about it adds an extra layer of toxicity and narcissistic stupidity on their part.
I’m a neurodivergent teenager who is currently trying to get an autism diagnosis who find great comfort in holding plushies when I’m stressed or going through a traumatic event or remembering a traumatic event or whatever and I’m honestly so happy my parents have no issue with this (their only issue is how many I have and how much space it takes up lmao) but my grandparents were another story and they made me feel like I wasn’t allowed to play with toys or have dolls or plushies past a certain age, I have since cut them off for other reasons but it’s something I still carry with me and makes makes me feel bad, especially since most of the time when I need that comfort it’s cus I’m remembering them, thank you for reminding everyone who sees this video that it’s ok to have these comfort items and it’s not a bad thing
I struggled with this in my teens and early adulthood before I was diagnosed, my mother was always concerned with anything I was doing or liked that was too "childish". Thankfully things are much better now, I'm in my mid 30's and just last week, for my birthday, a family member bought me two plush toys I wanted and my mum was supportive of it. I've had severe depression in the past. If being happy makes me childish, then I never want to grow up!
My mum asked when I would stop buying toys. I told never. This gave her some type of permission to start buying some of her own. She has a sheep that sleeps next to her and a few more toys are now around the house. I have a small star pillow I sleep with every night and comes with me if I stay at my mum’s house. This has been one of many things I have slept with over my 49 years of life.
I adore my plush dogs, in particular my new one Fluke (a lab pitbull mix who came all the way from New York to Devon, UK). I am a massive dog fan, but unfortunately I can’t have a real dog at the moment, and let’s just say that volunteering at a rescue with dogs unfortunately just isn’t an option for me at the moment either. I take them out for walks on the lead and look after them like a real dog. I get everything from funny looks to the frequent comment of “I thought that was a real dog then” to ignorant bs like the bloke who sneeringly commented “Why don’t you just get a real one?” 🤦🏻♀️
I think I have a similar thing, I don't know for sure if I'm autistic or not, but there are the signs. And I don't carry plushies or blankets around, but I do wear specific clothing materials. Like certain materials of dress pants, or faux fur on clothes feels nice and is comforting.
A boy in my daugthers class (age 7) tried bullying her for ‘still using plushies’. I just felt so incredible sad for that boy when she told me 💔 Luckily she did not take his words to heart, but that small boy heard those words from somewhere himself 💔
I’m not autistic, I’m ADHD, but I am an AVID plushie collector with a few I use almost solely as emotional support plushies (ESPs) bc I have other disorders and trauma, too. I’m an adult, my friends are all adults and we all love and have stuffed animals! My buddies provide a safe outlet where I can seek positive input, feel less lonely, and just experience emotions again after spending so long turning feelings off to cope with external pain and distress I couldn’t escape. Regardless, they are MY PROPERTY. I own them. My stuffed animal collection is one of my greatest prides, and if you tamper with my property we will have a problem! Trust me, Dillan the wolf has been here before you and if you don’t like my plushies she will be here after you.
When I was 12, my mom tossed the Tupperware sippy cup lid my grandma (and primary caregiver imo) allowed me to use regularly. Genuinely crushed me, and I was dealing with a lot of traumatic stuff at the time too. When I turned 30, I found that sippy cup lid on Ebay and spent 80$+ dollars to get a brand new one. I mostly only use it when I am sick now, but simply having it again is such a comfort for me.
As a self diagnosed autistic with heavy attachment to my childhood dolls, anytime I lost a doll I’d literally grieve their loss. Even made a memorial on a wall for one, her name was Perry and she was a baby doll with brown ponytail and those blinking eyes I got on my birthday. I even avoided the place I lost her for years, terrified I’d loose another doll. I even remember the last night I slept with her. If I had to choose between saving someone versus a childhood toy from falling off a cliff, I’d literally choose the childhood toy; the fact I know I’d probably actually do this is genuinely terrifying.
There are entire markets of higher end plushes that pretty clearly only exist for the adults that can afford to buy them, so even if society believes there's a cutoff in age, a lot of artisans clearly don't!! Plus, they're harmless and cute and soft. What could be wrong with that?
My daughter has blanket she named Floofy that she still sleeps with to this day and she is 19. She's had it since she was born. She still call it Floofy.
When I was 9 years old my parents pressured me into giving up my original comfort item a crib toy rag doll, so I latched on to an adult sized blanket that had previously been on my bunk in my parents RV/caravan that we used for vacations/holidays. That blanket just turned 30 and I sleep with it almost every night. If I’m ever living with a romantic partner it will be on the bed for sleep but I am willing to put it away during intimacy. It’s part of the package
I have held onto a few stuffed animals from when I was younger. I still have empathy responses with dolls and stuffed animals even though I have kids of my own. I don't carry them with me and talk to them, but I have sentimental attachments and I treat them as though they were thinking, feeling agents. There is nothing good being done by taking anyone's special thing that they take comfort in. In my experience, people with autism have more access to their imagination and can engage in complex ways with imaginary things even into adulthood, when many neurotypical people have lost their connection to their imagination and inner emotions.
Ive never been diagnosed with autism. But I'm attached to certain clothing items as a memory, or my pulshies when I get overwhelmed with things. When I was around 10 I went through a faze where I hid all of my plushies after my mother has stated it was immauture for an adult to have, she did and still does the same thing with clothing items ect.
I should warn everyone here that r/AITA is infested with Engagement Bait Posts, generally speaking, Reddit in general is infested with Engagement Bait Posts
I got diagnosed last year. There's a plush I've had since a teenager that I carry around a lot as an adult. As a teenager I kept him at home or in my locker. As an adult, I learned not to care what people think and carry him around without fear. I can't imagine how horrible I would have felt if my parents told me to stop carrying a plush around at 10. That is so young. I am so incredibly grateful my partner not only is fine with my plush but actively supports me carrying him whenever I want.
Like you, I’m an older autistic person, late diagnosed. I have a huge Squashmallow cat on my bed that I hold on nights I’m having trouble sleeping and it really helps. I personally don’t think there’s an age when you’re too old for this sort of thing.
One of my special interests is goth and vampires. I have been told that adults who are still goth should “grow out of it.” Fuck you, goths can be of any age! There is no age limit on being goth! There are plenty of adult goths in this world, and there are even goths who didn’t even get into it as teens or children and only got into goth as adults! As long as it’s not harming anyone, do what you will and do what makes you happy!
😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻What a wonderful kitten suprise that was at the end!!! Awwwwwww, tsym!! (Pun intended) 🥰🥰🥰 "Come for the kittens, stay for the autism" still has me cracked up!😂😂😂
One of the great things about my parents was that they would never throw any of my stuff away without asking me. They would say that I had to declutter, and make suggestions, but it was always up to me what I got rid of. It still felt traumatic sometimes, but once I realised other parents didn't show the same respect for their kids I felt fortunate. Now we have done the same for our kids and I have a little more sympathy for those other parents (though I would still never do it).
I have a similar story to those in the video and I’m also autistic. Not a plushie or a blanket, but rather a video game cover. One time when I was little I went to visit my friend’s house (it might have been a sleepover, but I don’t remember) and had brought my copy of Pokémon Pearl with me, we both really liked Pokémon and her brother had a copy of the Diamond version, so we liked to play the two games together even if there wasn’t any actual multiplayer. During that day while we were playing outside, probably because her mother thought we were playing to much video games inside, her mother took the opportunity to throw away my Pokémon Pearl cover without my consent or knowledge!! I can’t remember if she told me about this or not, but I walked home without anything to place my game in nonetheless. It is apparent to me that throwing out game covers as if they’re trash is a practice she had for her own children as I remember my friend had all her DS games in a thin plastic bag all jumbled together. I think her doing this is bad and wrong anyway, but doing it to a guest without their consent is just insane!! I can’t help but wonder if she did this to other similar items as well, like DVDs or CDs… Imagining a bunch of DVDs piled together in a plastic bag with zero protection is quite painful actually… Either way I never brought game cover over there again. It really sucks that it happed, because I really liked that cover art and looking at pictures of the covers for the gen 4 games is really nostalgic for me. For many years I just had to place my copy of Pokémon Pearl loosely into some other game cover, however some years ago I got Pokémon Sun and the only edition the store I bought it from had was with a steel book, even though 3DS games are shaped a bit differently than DS games, a DS game can still fit into a 3DS cover so now I keep Sun in its regular cover and Pearl in the steel book. Slightly happy ending, I guess though I’m still pissed about it tbh.
I had a blanket all the way into adulthood that my mother made me out of my old baby clothing, so a proper quilt really. It had a rattle from something that had been attached at one corner and I liked it because it was soft and heavy, almost like a weighted blanket. The reason it disappeared was not malicious. It finally fell apart in the wash after years of being reinforced and cared for, including measures like replacing backing and stitching patches on the inside for pieces that were becoming threadbare. My mother tried to help me find something that was similar so that losing it wasn't interfering with my sleep as much. She never tried to make me get rid of it until it literally fell apart from usage to the point it couldn't be saved.
The only valid reason to remove a comfort item from a person who needs it is for cleaning/ repairing. I loved the idea of washing the toy dog like a real dog & involving the child in the process! Would love more Hydra + hydrates updates - can't afford to join the patreon/ discord for them & feeling a bit left out here...😞
These stories break my heart. I had a lamby my mother "lost" when I was very young. It was traumatizing to me. I don't talk to her anymore (there's a lot more to that, but it does show character, doesn't it?). Two of my teens have a comfort item they've had since birth, I will always repair them. I'd never take them away, and don't understand the cruelty of others sometimes.
The fact that these adults said "Well my friends all said what I did was okay," or even "Well my friends made fun of them so I thought it was okay," shows a very stark difference in how these posters grew up as opposed to their autistic friends and partners. In school I was bullied because I did not understand social norms, and did not have the luxury of developing "pack mentality" because in the past multiple people bullied me. Just because they all thought it was right because they were s group didn't make it right. I did, for the longest, try to justify their actions and convince myself I was wrong, but that led to lots of self hatred and masking that hurt to maintain. Being autistic in the wrong environment is so frustrating because its like finding out someone hated the way you breathe, so when they ask you "Can you breathe different?" And you go "Sorry I can literally only breathe one way" they still insist you can do it different or stop all together all because they're bothered slightly.
I carried a plushie everywhere until I was made to stop at the age of 16 by my old boarding school. I was so upset. I lost him several years later and I still miss him. Doing that to a 10 year old is sick
I have ADHD. And have a comfort item in the form of my plushie, I could not begin how unable to sleep I am from being anxious when my Blu is beeing washed and dried. I do remenber my parents asking me to leave Blu behind has I was moving to adulthood and I strongly disagreed with the idea, I am very glad they don't stop me from beeing who I am leaving me to sleep with my Blu.
I’m autistic too and my oldest comfort item turned 35 and I’ll be 39 in November. While she doesn’t get to leave the bed anymore, I do have plushies that go everywhere with me still. Some people are still pretty crazy about it, but for the most part they either just sneak looks or ignore me.
I won't give up my exact age because there are weird people on the internet but I am in my teens and I have 37 stuffed animals sitting above my bed. Some of them are handmade by myself and some are older than me. I have a cat that was my grandmothers so it has gone down trough three generations. Almost all of them have names and different relationships to each other. For example all the dogs are sisters and so on. I still sleep with a dog I got when I was two. My point is, you are never too old for stuffed animals. They are a source of comfort that no one is to old for. The dog I sleep with while yes gets a bath every few years smell of me and it is great to have when you are feeling bad for some reason. She has been through both the happy and the sad nights. I cannot imagine how upset I would be if someone hid her from me.
Sometimes I have to reflect that often a parent who is behaving poorly, may be doing so, because they themselves are autistic, and have had their identity and comfort items removed themselves. Merely mean to help their kid survive, in a world that doesn’t accept differences.
I feel like my old man was undiagnosed but also had autism and tried to reduce my dependence on these sort of things to prepare me for the world he grew up in... just taught me to hide it more...
If this makes anyone feel better 😅 even though I don't collect plushies I do collect schleich bayala mermaids and fairies. (On my TH-cam channel my display shelf with them on is on there, if anyone wants to know what they look like.) I just turned 30 last month and I still play with them. (If I didn't have them I wouldn't play with toys as I grew out of them years ago but these ones look more like ornaments.) I didn't want to give up the world, story and lore that I made up when it is fun and is a huge stress reliever, escapism and cures boredom. It also helps with creativity and not losing all of the imagination we once had as kids. I would be unhappy if I gave it up especially as I have depression and anxiety and need to, to cope with life. Only my family knows I do (luckily they don't push these social norms on me,) but I do keep it a secret from other people because I know I would get judged. I've even been judged by other autistic people for just owning them. I hope there are other adults out there that still play with their collection of whatever it is that they have, in secret too so I'm not the only one. It makes me angry how neurotypicals don't understand boundaries because they care too much about "What's normal".
This kind of cruelty is all about the parent resenting the child's happiness (they made me... so you aren't allowed either) or caring more about "what will people think" (and they'll judge me) than the well-being of the child. So much suffering by neurodiverse people is bullying by people who care more about "the (socially) right thing" than the needs, well-being, and happiness of the child. It's usually accompanied by "this is for your own good." But it isn't.
Adults spend too much time telling children to “act more like adults” while they themselves spend their lives behaving like children.
Yes! 😅
because the adults were told to "act more like adults" when they were children and now that they are adults they no longer have someone telling them that and can behave more like children without being told off. It's a vicious cycle that repeats itself. Let kids be kids and they'll be more mature as adults.
@@unclebozo9845 “Let kids be kids and they’ll be more mature as adults” - 💯
It is more mature to realize that everyone has something that they enjoy and the simple fact that being able to enjoy something is a blessing without age limits. I would prefer to be happy with my Pokémon TCG playmat as a mouse pad than care about the opinion of generic stranger that has no joy in their eyes.
@@Armament0fJusticeexactly this. People who call out and make fun of "childish" behavior are ironically more immature. Adults who do this are just being immature bullies who project their own unhappiness on to others.
Whenever something is called childish, I recall this quote: “When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”
― C.S. Lewis
I was going to comment that exact quote. The much longer full quote goes even harder:
“Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”
I mean, isn't the desire to be "all grown up" a very childish thing, afterall? It's, like, peak pre-teen mentality.
all of this open abuse of autism is highly concerning.
@@kingjames4886 There’s a general backlash against difference going on, which I guess has just generally gone on, more or less, throughout history. The new thing, I’d say, is the push to STOP being xenophobic. We are all one species; we all have to share this planet together; that sort of thing. A good direction to move in, but a difficult one for many people. 🫤
@@kingjames4886 In a more perfect world, this would be how the mother got sole custody.
@@ebwarg I mean it's all over the place and openly allowed.
I just recently watched one of those cop bodycam type videos where a kid I can only assume is on the spectrum is being antagonized by the schools staff who are literally telling the kid "keep doing what you're doing, it's not bothering me" and they have to call the cops to end the abuse... they went and handcuffed the kid and once he wasn't surrounded by people antagonizing him he calmed right down.
the abuse is real, and apparently youtube is fine with people profiting off it.
Poor autism getting abused by everyone
@@ebwargBut that would deprive the biological, legal father of access to his property and possibly discourage him from paying child support, which could result in the STATE having to support the child! HORRORS!!! 😱 (Just ALL the sarcasm; I’ve been involved with the family court system for over 15 years… 🫠)
Who would want to become an adult if it meant life without plushies??!!
@@wendyheaton1439 🦭 exactly!
But I now blame you that after watching this I brought my first jellycat!!! @@Autistic_AF
I have far more plushies as an adult than as a kid! I have like almost a dozen! As a kid I had three. I don't even have an IKEA Blåhaj yet. Plushies are too nice to give up.
@@Call-me-Al trust me get a BLAHAJ it’s worth it :)
Yeah, I never understood this whole “I’m too mature to like enjoyable things” attitude.
Apparently some people's definition of "being an adult" is giving up everything fun in life.
@@drewbydoo8945 fr it’s annoying like live a little
@@starlightplaysminecraft9743 agreed, adulting is stressful enough. Why do we have to rid ourselves of the things that bring us joy on top of it? It's like they want us to be miserable xD
@@drewbydoo8945 FAX
A) You're never too old for plushies, whether you're neurotypical or neurodiverse. Plushies are awesome.
B) You don't throw away someone else's property. That's just a mean, disrespectful thing to do, regardless of circumstance.
C) People seriously need to be better educated about autism. I work in a special ed program for autistic students, and it never ceases to amaze me what attitudes some people can hold towards my students. We have kids of all ages who use all kinds of tools to navigate their day. Some of them use plushies and blankets. Some use sensory toys and chewies. Some use communication devices. When something works for them that's all that matters.
Throwing away another person's things is also criminal and theft. A person can be charged and convicted of a crime throwing away another person property. This does happen in domestic violence situation and this is considered a form of domestic violence. Better to find out they are A-hole early on run for the hills as this type of person is sound very abusive and won't change.
@chrismaxwell1624 When I was a child and even a bit into my adulthood when she'd "help" me clean, my mom often used the excuse of, "You didn't buy it, so it's not actually yours," when I begged her not to throw my treasured things away. People will find a way to justify it, unfortunately.
My cousin was born with moderate to severe cerebral palsy, and his dad took years to accept that he had a disability, and then many years more to accept that my cousin LIKED using a wheelchair, and wasn’t interested in another dozen surgeries to try and enable his legs to walk.
It’s amazing the kind of thing a parent can turn a blind eye to. I hope I don’t parent like that.
🧡 Your cousin sounds strong-willed; that's good news! You won't parent like that; the sort of willful ignorance that comes from this sort of parenting is common (at least, online!) but unquestioningly ignorant.
Surgeries can be horrible and if he already had a bunch and he couldn't walk what is the likelihood that more would work? Good for him on being firm about what he wants.
@@Catlily5 Exactly, not to mention that they can cause complications and infections.
I also have cerebral palsy. People ignoring how we want to live with our disability and trying to push us into their perfect little boxes is upsettingly common.
@@Phoenix_Left it frustrates me that the world taught me that OBVIOUSLY everyone would rather walk than use a wheelchair until my cousin shared his experience. It shouldn’t have been such a revelation. We need to make more space for people to be and think for themselves.
OP in story 2 is a bully, and so are his friends. He's well aware he wasn't "helping" his girlfriend, he was trying to control her, and if he thinks throwing away her property isn't that bad, he has a serious problem. If he has a problem with who his girlfriend is, he should have done her a favor and stepped off, before she had to tell him to. Same for OP and his friend's girlfriend in story three. They need to go away.
My husband complained about my love of plushies and then went out and cheated on me because of it. These people are getting upset about their partners sleeping with blankets, but really if that's all they have to complain about they're doing pretty good. They could have had a partner that was in active addiction or something, or else that was abusive. Then they'd wish it was only plushies and blankets that their partner was into.
I agree he was probably a bully in school as well who never learned his lesson.
Schools seem to believe that telling the bullies what they did was wrong is enough for them to understand why they shouldn't do it and stop. But because they refuse to actually punish them the bullies never learn to stop and will continue their behaviour way into adulthood. I believe this is one of the reasons why we hear so many stories about people harassing retail and restaurant staff.
TLDR: If schools actually punished bullies for their behaviour the world would be filled with less jerks. Although some may continue despite the punishment and be told why bullying is bad.
@@StormTGDmaybe you underestimate how well people can rationalise their aggressive behaviour even if they do get punished for it.
plus, i don't think all of those people register on the radar in school as bullies. though of course that might just be because they manage to not get caught.. mine certainly never were.
i totally agree though that it's bullying behaviour, or highly entitled, whichever you want to call it. these people definitely have got away with being allowed to be full of themselves. they don't understand that interpersonal contact is a negotiation of personal comfort, and they can't just argue "i am normal, so you better follow my lead" - and that's ignoring the fact that a lot of people's normalcy is an illusion to begin with but even if it is factual it's not a valid basis for an argument.
@@StormTGD I was lucky in school if I ever got bullied the teachers stop and give punishment and if it continues then they called their parents.💯🏫
I am still mad that I had someone throw a soap dish away because they thought it was too hard to clean.
My daughter had a doll that she carried around until it was literally falling apart and was a face with some fabric . It was disturbing, but it was important for her comfort, so having her throw it away was never even considered. This was long before we knew she was autistic, but it was obviously what she needed. How much more so if we had known she was autistic?
Now, many years later and working on my own autism diagnosis, I am continually dumbfounded by the complete lack of empathy shown by so many neurotypical people. They’ll say the right words, but the actions give lie to those words.
Just curious, but why is it "disturbing" that your daughter carried a doll? To me, disturbing is watching true crime documentaries of serial killers. How is carrying a doll anywhere close to that category?
@@thetickedoffpianoplayer4193 carrying a doll isn’t disturbing. Even caring a dirty baby face (not the entire head, mind you, just the face) with eyes that have started to rub off that is surrounded by nothing but tatters of fabric is not disturbing. But the face itself? Highly disturbing.
@@NitFlickwick I see. Sorry for misinterpreting. I'd also be pretty creeped out if my plushies or dolls fell apart like that.
@@thetickedoffpianoplayer4193 no reason to be sorry. I can totally see how what I wrote could be interpreted that way since nobody got to actually see said child hauling around said baby face, so I’d question it, too.
My grandma used to use sharpie to fix the eyes on my stuffed animals, now I use nail polish because it’s more long lasting. I would throw my stuffies and take them with me on the playground and whatnot.
My mother got rid of a few dolls that I really couldn’t part with when I was 18. These dolls were extremely important to me and I was really devastated, I thought I would keep them forever. I’ve never forgotten. As an older woman, I have a really soft shawl that I sleep with now. It’s great that it just looks like I’m sleeping with it to keep warm, I can wrap it around me watching tv and not be ridiculed for carrying around a blanket. Love this thing it’s perfect.
My mom and aunt took me to a build a bear workshop when i was around 5-6 years old. It was a magical experience and despite being rushed to make decisions faster, I had tons of fun and loved my little bear. I named it after myself on the certificate while I tried to think up a better name.
Before I even had the chance to settle on a new name, my mom got sick of hearing the voicebox on my bear playing all day long. She threw it away while i was out at school and insisted that i must've lost it because i kept my room such a mess. But i remember hugging it and placing it on my bed before i left for school that day!
This was over 20 years ago and I will never forgive her for throwing away that bear. I will never forget that betrayal.
I finally bought a new bear a few years ago for some closure. They haven't sold the bear I had as a kid for a long time now, but i got a handsome, fluffy brown bear that looks vaguely similar and named him Vincent after van Gogh.
@@LilChuunosukethat is so sad, and is indeed a betrayal. What makes it really bad is that your mother gaslit you by lying and denying what she did and trying to make you believe it was your fault. That is a terrible, unmotherly act. I hope she feels the shame of that act to her dying day like a thousand needles in her soul.
@@LilChuunosuke Normal parents just either learn to live with it, or remove the battery inside (or the voicebox temporarily if removing the battery isn't an option). That was so incredibly cruel.
My mom and stepdad did that to me over and over again. I'm still in therapy and I wish I could tell her off, but she passed away. She did a lot of other stuff too, though, so there is that.
@@LilChuunosuke I'm sorry to hear that I hope you are doing well today.👍
What's so striking to me about these stories is that they knew what their autistic partners were using the plushies for and that they helped them! Even though they clearly don't understand autism, all they had to do was believe what the autistic partners were telling them and respect it, period. Ugh
im horrified that there are allistic people who want to take action before talking it over with the autistic person. i think the talking should be the first step, i'm so baffled by why throwing away the item straight away was the "logical" thing to do. also i'm disappointed that the opinions of the allistic person's social group need to extend into a private personal relationship. it just seems so counter to the ideals of a loving relationship. this reminds me why dating never really worked well for me. i couldn't handle the allistic expectations of dating or living together. i need my home to be a sanctuary from judgement and the pressures of the world. i guess the good news is, now that i know i'm autistic, i know to look for other autistic people to date
Or try to find the good NTs. They do exist, and I know because I've been blessed to have some of them in my life. Unfortunately, the good ones and the bad ones look alike, so it's hard to tell the difference.
I mean I’m autistic but to me the obvious logical answer would be like…find out if there’s something worth being concerned about. Like “is there like a trauma response here that I could help with or is this just a soft texture thing”.
Cause like if my loved one is desperately needing comfort from someone or something I would want to see if I can help.
It’s especially wild because a lot of autistic people like having a routine and disrupting that without telling them is a horrible thing to do.
I know right? Couldn't the third redditor's friends just talk it out, about how he really does love her, and that having an item of sentimental value does not make him love her less? Maybe she could've encouraged him to try venting to her instead (or at least in addition), as life partners are supposed to do?
Seriously, it sometimes feels like NTs are allergic to direct communication...
No touching my plushies without my permission!
Having a sensory disorder is literally equivalent to being intermittently tortured. Let us have a soft toy😭
I never realized there was so much blankie hate in the world!
I wasn't allowed to take my childhood blankie to university. My Granny made it for me before I was born. I still miss it. At room temperature, it got this really neat and specific type of cold that I looked forward to every night. I'd wear it until it warmed up, then set it aside until it got room temperature again, then put it back on.
I have since found another fuzzy blankie (doesn't do the same type of cold though), and a husband who not only understands and doesn't judge, but who has his own fuzzy blankie.
I had a blanket like that too! I would put my face on the blanket to feel that specific kind of cold, and then when it would warm up, I would shift around the blanket to another cold spot and enjoy that cold, rinse and repeat.
@@twylenb Yay! Someone else knows the joy of blankets that get cold in an interesting way. Thank you for sharing - this made me happy.
I'm 66. While I do not have the same toys I had as a child, Recently I got new ones for myself. I also have a pair of actual small dogs.
Taking a stuffed animal or blanket away from someone is cruel. No ifs ands or buts. It's absolutely "grown up" to take care of yourself by having comfort items.
Keep educating. People need to learn to treat EVERYONE with respect.
And one should NEVER throw another person's belongings out. NEVER. EVER. THAT is a boundary violation for sure. It's toxic abuse to make decisions about what another person keeps to comfort themselves...no matter what it is or how you feel about it.
Gosh, average children going through a stressful time (like parents separating) will often cling to comfort items to help them through. So to deal with life & autism it's no wonder these kinds of items are so useful. I remember being particularly attached to a toy monkey I had during middle and high school. I would never give my kids a hard time for wanting their blankets or plushies.
Yes, exactly! These stories are pretty common, sadly. What's wrong with people?
I literally became attached to my comfort item due to the trauma of being autistic. I have an overwhelming fear of change. I rely on routine and familiarity to function. I recieved this plush as a congratulatory gift for graduating preschool. And in the 20+ years since then, it has been a grounding item I've used to help me cope with change. Any time I go through a big change, I seek it out.
12:47 "The actions of those who throw away or disregard these items reveal a lack of empathy about themselves... and they say we're the ones with limited empathy?"
So true!
Yikes. The careless ignorance with which some people dish out hurt is astounding sometimes. Well at least this one person seemed to have learned their lesson and got the blanket back, that does restore a little hope in humanity. I hope his friend can forgive him.
And no, one can not be too old for plushies. I still collect them in my forties, they are not only comforting to have around, they can be really beautiful and small works of art in themselves. I even have a little thornback ray sea flap flap, too. It is good to cherish some childishness and to protect that, it helps to stay sane, I think.
Exactly. It's important to know how to be an adult, but everyone I know who has removed everything childlike in their life is a miserable, bitter person who has no joy in their life. Heck all of that noise.
@@thetickedoffpianoplayer4193 I have noticed that too. That kind also likes to spread the misery, so it often well advised to take some distance, lest the bitterness spilles into ones own life.
Why does anyone think it's OK to throw away someone's items
Well, hoarding can be an issue. People buy something, remember it felt good in that moment, and don’t want to admit that it is useless and just collecting dust taking up space. However, there needs to be some compromise between throwing out cherished comfort objects and literally packing your room/home full of stuff you then never touch again. 🫤
@@misspat7555Even hoarders don’t benefit from somebody throwing their things away without consent. It only makes them anxious and more likely to isolate.
Right??? If an item is a dealbreaker for some reason, you TELL the person, and let THEM choose. You don’t choose for them like you own them. What a horrifically entitled thing to do. This would creep me out if a partner did this even if I wasn’t upset about losing the item. It’s indicative of a controlling mindset and is a major red flag.
I was taught to always respect other peoples belongings, I would never throw anything away if it belonged to anyone other than me. In fact In the past I have kept the things that the kids have said they want to get rid of because fairly often they will come back to me several months later asking about various items then I will come across those items again a year or so later and if they still don't want them then I will find a new home for the item.
Definitely - good plan. I get that collections can sometimes get out of control but in all situations - a kind conversation between adults should be able to resolve most conflicts!
I still have my childhood plushies and the ones of my adult son he didn't cared about as much as me😅.
But I store them dustfree in boxes. Like my old dolls.
When I was nine years old, my cousin who is the same age as me had to assure me it's not embarrassing to still like my little pony.
Now I still sleep with plushies and have cute blankets and lilo and stitch merch, amd I watch childhood cartoons while eating dinner with my siblings.
Being mature doesn't mean neglecting your inner child.
Why do allistics hate fun?
And happiness
It's really weird how obsessed people are with "being mature" and thinking "childish" things are bad. My favorite game uses bright colors and has a lot of cute, fun events and people get really weird about it. As if having cute, fun aesthetics makes it for "kids", despite the fact that the game tackles some pretty dark topics.
It sounds like a lot of people seem to have the same weird view about stuff like plushies.
Just because you have the responsibilities of adulthood doesn't mean you have to lose the joy of childhood. It doesn't even matter if you have a disability. Neurotypical people should be able to enjoy "childish" things too. Childish things are a net positive. Bright colors and cute things, things that are soft, these things hurt no one and make people happy.
It just seems weird that people get so judgy over something like that.
@@lysatarn9905 you hit the nail on the head. If something "makes people happy and hurts no one," then what's the problem?
@_KristophGavin people are just weird
@@PaulaRoederer at this point I don't expect people to be sensible
You are probably the same kind of person who also thinks teens and young adults still jumping inside a bounce house sometimes is okay too
@@turquoiseturquoiseturquois1174 barring any safety issues, why shouldn't it be OK? It's in the same catagory of wholesome fun that sledding and rolling down hills is in.
I am 26 years old. I still sleep with a plush dog named "Spot" in my bed that I recieved as a gift for graduating kindergarten.
Growing up, I had multiple toys and trinkets taken away from me because my family believed I had an unhealthy obsession with it. I still remember my parents getting rid of my brand new Build a Bear while I was at school one day TWENTY YEARS AGO because I used to stim with the voice box button and it drove them insane. They pretended that I simply lost it, but there is no possible way that could be true.
I also used to have a music box that I inherited after my grandmother passed. I used to turn the key and listen to the song whenever I thought of her. My brother eventually got so tired of listening to its song that he took a pair of wire cutters and snipped the prongs off so it would never be able to play music again. In response to this, my mother confiscated this heirloom from me so, and I quote, "you and your brother can stop fighting over it all the time."
To them, these two items were just cheap knickknacks and toys. But to me, these items were priceless and I will never forgive them for destroying my belongings instead of communicating clearly that the frequency of the noise bothered them. I remember a time in my life where I had to pretend to be less attached to Spot just so my parents wouldn't throw him away too. It was deeply traumatizing and upsetting to have so little trust in people who were supposed to take care of me.
Oh my goodness! What a horrible family! Why do they think it's okay to get rid of something somebody loves?
Nope, you can never be to old for plushies! Now to watch the video LOL
Loved your duck! My 50 + year old rabbit is in much rougher shape.
@@nannywhumpers5702 Exactly! Haha, enjoy the video :)
As an autistic adult, I still have my glow worms from when I was a newborn, and I love and cherish them greatly, they still hang out in bed with me as my snuggle buddies. It’s so hard to sleep without them.
Edit: I’m 29, and we got my glow worm second hand so the guy is getting two lifetimes of love ❤
You're never too old for plushies. I'm 23, can't sleep without either my donkey Rosa, my stormtrooper pillow Sniper or my actual cat Maja (Sometimes she loves sleeping in my arms like a plushy) in my arms. And it already took some time to get used to Sniper, I have him in the dorm in the city where I study while Rosa (and of course Maja, but in the summer she rather roams at night anyways) are at my parents'. I'm not ashamed of that at all. And none of the people I really care about find it weird.
I think all 3 of those were a-holes. The last one slightly redeemed himself by getting the blanket back and having it cleaned, but it should never have happened in the first place. Such a disrespect for someone elses property is abhorrent!
You're never too old for plushies, I'm in my 50s and I still have them and collect new ones 😊
Those kittens get more adorable every time we see them 😻 I love kitbit updates!
@@stephaniealexandra5142 The little kitbits are ding great! Yes, all three are AH’s!
If my best friend threw away my treasured security item (a specific pillow, in my case), we most certainly would not be best friends anymore.
As for the girlfriend, I would point to the door and say “don’t like it? You can leave if you want.” Because that relationship is clearly heading a toxic and controlling direction.
Could you imagine how much better society would be if people minded their own business?
You don’t have to be a souless cog in the workforce popping out babies to be the next cogs when you’re an adult. You don’t have to abandon color to prefer everything with a gray/beige color palette.
Just because they’re insecure about being themselves doesn’t mean they have to punish people that are happy
I was accused of fooling the Drs into giving me a false Autistic diagnosis. Called manipulative, back stabber, then i was threatened with rape and beaten. Was an awful weekend.
@@louisasmiles Wow. I'm so sorry. I've had it implied that I tricked the PhD psychologist who evaluated and diagnosed me, but not the rest. I'm so sorry that happened to you.
I'm an autistic adult who lives on my own and my house looks like a plushie toy chest had a case of wondering vomiting syndrome. They're all over, they're clean, they're loved. I hate it when people pull this shit.
My childhood teddy was taken from me, I was inconsolable. When my brother threw it away, I was non functioning for months. I clung from one thing to another and now have a pillow for 20+ years and there will be all unholy hell to pay if it goes missing or is washed without my say so.
Never too old for plushies! They give them to elderly people in care homes for comfort ❤
I’m 35 have autism and always have a Bratz doll in my purse 24/7 and no one has yet to say a word about it like ever
I'm autistic and absolutely adore plushies!! They keep my nervous system regulated and I stim a lot with them. I have this stuffed raccoon that I've had for about 8-9 years now (I'm 18 for reference) and it's one of my favorite plushies. I use it to stim (mainly a texture thing), I sleep with it, and it helps me through my meltdowns. There were many times where my family would judge me for being too "old" for stuffed animals and plushies, but that's stupid. Plushies have no age limit and are for everyone, autistic or not!
My mum still has my gorilla plushie he's huge, I used to drag him around when I was smaller I'm 36 now
@@skootergirl22 Aww I'm glad she kept it! :) if you can, you should reunite with your plushie for all the memories!
Im 13, but i had these 2 mario and luigi plushes since i was like 6 lol. Am an Asperger's, hi!!
i have 3 special plushies i keep in my bed and they give me a sense of safety! i have a pusheen plush in a unicorn onesie that i got 3 years ago for my birthday, a boba axolotl plushie i got for a special occasion, and a another cute, funny cat plushie (who i call timmy) that i found for cheap in a shop
My mom gave away my dolls and plushies when I was 12 because I was "too old" for them. It hurt.
I'm 🧡sorry, Rhonda!
@@Autistic_AF I've restocked since then 😉
@@rhondawest6838New friends!
Half of the people doing this probably have a lucky shirt or some other comfort item of their own, but would never look at it in the same way because they've been conditioned that adults can't have fun or do things that are normally done by children.
A lot of establishments say once you're 4 you are too old for plushies. I believe you are never too old for plushies. "too old for plushies" is a range created by normies that range between 4 and 18 depending on how stringent the normie is.
4? Really, they haven't even started school in some places what on earth is their reasoning?
I never even got into plushies until I was about 9 or 10, and then I started a big collection. When I was 4 I liked toy cars and anything to do with dogs. I’ve never gone off plushies. What’s not to like?
Why four? Never heard that.
I could think for boys a patriarchy-based-society would set a border at maybe 10, 12 and for girls 18?
Not that there IS one, just thinking of eventual society standards. And in that I wouldn't expect the young age of four.
@@katzenbekloppt_mf I'm against limits for ages for plush toys myself.
I'm 36 and autistic and I love plushies
The guy in the second story deserves to spend the rest of his life alone.
Just a few days ago I was having an argument with my mom. I'm currently at the age of attending university or higher education, I always bring two small plushies everywhere with me, when going out for a meal or to school. My mom was very concerned the other day and said I have to grow up, that people will not take me seriously or that people will think I "have a problem" by bringing my plush toys to university. Even though I've been diagnosed by a psychiatrist of having autism and anxiety, my mom thinks it's all a result of me being "coddled" too much growing up, that I'm just "pretending" to be disabled and that everything is just a defect of my personality.
It honestly hurts a lot, being an autistic girl is so misunderstood and stigmatized here in Asia. My mom wants me to grow up and grow out of this "autistic phase" when I'll never be able to, just because I've been born with this disability she passed down to me.
I'd say no you can never be too old for stuffed animals particularly if you're disabled and have sensory issues because of it I'm legally blind and autistic and still collect stuffed animals at nearly 40 yrs old. and have had some of them since I was a teenager
9:33 she’s jealous of a blanket!? Girl, it’s not gonna steal your man like Jolene!
Throwing away someone else’s childhood toy is like throwing their family photos in the fireplace, they have memories attached to them that you can’t just replace. Even if you’re not autistic it’s okay to hold onto items you have nostalgia for and I don’t understand the judgement of it.
I think that any man who sees their girlfriend as childish therefore creepy to sleep with them over a blanket is the weird one... she is an adult and it's a small object. Then these idiots throw their personal belongings away? How can people be so foolish.
If he even thinks that about her, then she deserves better! Brakeup reason!
He could atleast talk about it first like a normal person. By not saying anything, he infact decieves her to think he is supportive 💔
Bizarrely strong attachments to sentimental objects often are associated with childhood trauma or loss, or because new relationships and sources of comfort haven't appeared to replace old ones. Knifing someone directly in an old wound generally isn't a healing experience for them. I suppose a counter-argument could be made using the same metaphor that sometimes surgery is necessary, but if the patient is conscious, you generally get their permission first.
And if someone's holding onto the past because they're discouraged about the present and don't see a future, demonstrating that their present friends can't be trusted isn't the way to help them.
I guess this was a good thing that came from my mom losing everything from her childhood in a house fire before I was born: throwing out my old toys when I got "too old" was never even considered. As a 28 year old autistic woman I think that if someone threw out my baby blanket I sleep with... well let's just say they wouldn't come away unscathed. And that I'd be digging it out of the dumpster. Same for my plushies and comfort toys.
When you're 18 you're autism goes away? Man, I think I have a few friends that didn't get the memo. I better go tell them it's time to shed their autism. It's like a snake thing right? You just like shed the autism like old skin? (Joking of course)
I knew a woman who deemed her 5 year old granddaughter too old for dolls! I kid you not! FIVE! That idea traumatized me at 30. I hope granddaughter isn't so affected, but I doubt that is the only control this poor ki was subjected to growing up.
I’m a neurotypical adult and I have never understood or will accept that there’s an age where one has to give up their plushies or other toys/ figurines/ animated shows/ whatever. I accept that some people simply grow out of them as their interests might change, but that isn’t everyone regardless of wether one is on the spectrum or not. I’m an adult and I still have my plushies from when I was a kid, to throw them out is like throwing out part of who I was as a child and who I still am, and in my perspective it’s also not only wasteful, but disrespectful to those who gave them to me and to those who have less.
On a deeper level I see the people that expect a person to give up their childhood toys and interests is someone who has been conditioned to conform to a society that doesn’t appreciate individuality and creativity but instead favors drones who merely exist to keep the gears grinding. They’ve been taught a limiting way of living and viewing others and anyone who doesn’t fit into that worldview is “weird.” People that are young at heart are more creative and better at thinking up new ideas and solutions and the world benefits greatly from them.
I have around 30+ plushies.. I don't walk around with them, i would be way too scared of loosing them for that, but they honestly saved my life, my dog plush Nuser was the thing that got me through my SI as a kid, and yes, i did in fact have SI as kid, as far back as 8 years old.. I have always had this "rational" voice in my head i call it "The therapist voice", and as a child i would put i on my dog plush, it would be him telling me to breathe, that everything was okay, that i would get through it. If anyone had thrown him out, i think i would physically attack them, in a fit of uncontrollable rage, even my own mom. My plushies means the world to me, and I'm lucky to have found a partner who understands and think its cute, he even gave me more hehe!
My partner grew up loving the feeling of those silk labels on duvets or some clothes, when he is stressed he fidget with some kind of label, to an extent where he has ruined multiple t-shirts, so i cut some of the labels of my clothes (the soft ones) and gave them to him so he can take them with him instead
I wonder where did the “you’re too old for childish things” come from when most of the time it is up to the person themselves.
No age is too old for a plushie, but especially a child! Im 34 and i still snuggle my childhood plushies when im feeling down.
And what about the kinds of people who throw away your stuff, any of it, all of it, over and over throughout your entire life and even worse have zero remorse for your distress. As far as I’m aware, to get rid of someone else’s property without their consent is not only unlawful, it’s a blatant violation. Such people can destroy the lives of others, as this typically will be but one of many completely unacceptable/damaging behaviours. Some of us grieve an inanimate object the same as if it had been living. We are not the problem, you are if you are the kind of person who refuses to want to learn or understand such things.
I've bought quite a few makeship plushies, especially from The_Click and ive got many plushies from my childhood. To make it better I'm also a furry, and i like cartoons, anime, and video games and roleplaying. What is actually childish is this kind of "ew no, thats for kids" behavior.
The plushie/blanket/whatever isn't hurting anybody. Leave people alone. Let them enjoy things.
Yes, those redditors were the assholes.
In my opinion no one is too old for their plushies, the plushie however might be too old to hold and to carry around then it graduates to being a looking plushie not a touching one. I cant hug my teddy bear from when i was little because it is too weak. I also have my moms teddy bear from when she was a little girl, way too weak and worn to touch or hold so it is safe in a vaccum bag in my memory box. ❤
The childish behavior is to throw away other people's things behind their back , then go and gossip around about their health or mental challenges. The people who do those things are emotionally imature , and emotionally lazy to feel empathy . I suspect that inside them they feel "jealousy" about the connection a person shows to this specific item (which might be because it is a comfort item for autism or any other challenge , or a deceised family member gift ot a heirloom or sometimes a really rare collectible etc there are several reasons why people show an attachment to things) .They feel this "jealousy" because they KNOW they can't provide comfort themselves for this person because they lack emotionally and instead of doing the work and become more empathetic they take it out to the item , throw it or destroy it in an attempt to CONTROL the other person in the relationship lock them in and leave them with no other choise than begging them for comfort which they will give whenever they like if they like . If they feel that much threatened by an item what will they do feel with other people in this persons life who might not be possitive towards them ?.food for thought ... the fact they try to justify themselves by gossiping about it adds an extra layer of toxicity and narcissistic stupidity on their part.
I’m a neurodivergent teenager who is currently trying to get an autism diagnosis who find great comfort in holding plushies when I’m stressed or going through a traumatic event or remembering a traumatic event or whatever and I’m honestly so happy my parents have no issue with this (their only issue is how many I have and how much space it takes up lmao) but my grandparents were another story and they made me feel like I wasn’t allowed to play with toys or have dolls or plushies past a certain age, I have since cut them off for other reasons but it’s something I still carry with me and makes makes me feel bad, especially since most of the time when I need that comfort it’s cus I’m remembering them, thank you for reminding everyone who sees this video that it’s ok to have these comfort items and it’s not a bad thing
I struggled with this in my teens and early adulthood before I was diagnosed, my mother was always concerned with anything I was doing or liked that was too "childish".
Thankfully things are much better now, I'm in my mid 30's and just last week, for my birthday, a family member bought me two plush toys I wanted and my mum was supportive of it.
I've had severe depression in the past. If being happy makes me childish, then I never want to grow up!
My mum asked when I would stop buying toys. I told never. This gave her some type of permission to start buying some of her own. She has a sheep that sleeps next to her and a few more toys are now around the house. I have a small star pillow I sleep with every night and comes with me if I stay at my mum’s house. This has been one of many things I have slept with over my 49 years of life.
I adore my plush dogs, in particular my new one Fluke (a lab pitbull mix who came all the way from New York to Devon, UK). I am a massive dog fan, but unfortunately I can’t have a real dog at the moment, and let’s just say that volunteering at a rescue with dogs unfortunately just isn’t an option for me at the moment either. I take them out for walks on the lead and look after them like a real dog. I get everything from funny looks to the frequent comment of “I thought that was a real dog then” to ignorant bs like the bloke who sneeringly commented “Why don’t you just get a real one?” 🤦🏻♀️
This poor little girl :C Damn he gave her that toy and he should be so flattered she values it so much
I know! 😭😭
I think I have a similar thing, I don't know for sure if I'm autistic or not, but there are the signs. And I don't carry plushies or blankets around, but I do wear specific clothing materials. Like certain materials of dress pants, or faux fur on clothes feels nice and is comforting.
A boy in my daugthers class (age 7) tried bullying her for ‘still using plushies’. I just felt so incredible sad for that boy when she told me 💔
Luckily she did not take his words to heart, but that small boy heard those words from somewhere himself 💔
Your duck is so cute..,.,
Thank you! 🙏🏼 😊 🦆
I’m not autistic, I’m ADHD, but I am an AVID plushie collector with a few I use almost solely as emotional support plushies (ESPs) bc I have other disorders and trauma, too. I’m an adult, my friends are all adults and we all love and have stuffed animals!
My buddies provide a safe outlet where I can seek positive input, feel less lonely, and just experience emotions again after spending so long turning feelings off to cope with external pain and distress I couldn’t escape.
Regardless, they are MY PROPERTY. I own them. My stuffed animal collection is one of my greatest prides, and if you tamper with my property we will have a problem! Trust me, Dillan the wolf has been here before you and if you don’t like my plushies she will be here after you.
When I was 12, my mom tossed the Tupperware sippy cup lid my grandma (and primary caregiver imo) allowed me to use regularly. Genuinely crushed me, and I was dealing with a lot of traumatic stuff at the time too. When I turned 30, I found that sippy cup lid on Ebay and spent 80$+ dollars to get a brand new one. I mostly only use it when I am sick now, but simply having it again is such a comfort for me.
As a self diagnosed autistic with heavy attachment to my childhood dolls, anytime I lost a doll I’d literally grieve their loss. Even made a memorial on a wall for one, her name was Perry and she was a baby doll with brown ponytail and those blinking eyes I got on my birthday. I even avoided the place I lost her for years, terrified I’d loose another doll. I even remember the last night I slept with her.
If I had to choose between saving someone versus a childhood toy from falling off a cliff, I’d literally choose the childhood toy; the fact I know I’d probably actually do this is genuinely terrifying.
There are entire markets of higher end plushes that pretty clearly only exist for the adults that can afford to buy them, so even if society believes there's a cutoff in age, a lot of artisans clearly don't!! Plus, they're harmless and cute and soft. What could be wrong with that?
My daughter has blanket she named Floofy that she still sleeps with to this day and she is 19. She's had it since she was born. She still call it Floofy.
I love the story about your dad. I didn’t know that soldiers had bears with them…that made me smile! They definitely deserved a comfort item.
When I was 9 years old my parents pressured me into giving up my original comfort item a crib toy rag doll, so I latched on to an adult sized blanket that had previously been on my bunk in my parents RV/caravan that we used for vacations/holidays. That blanket just turned 30 and I sleep with it almost every night. If I’m ever living with a romantic partner it will be on the bed for sleep but I am willing to put it away during intimacy. It’s part of the package
I have held onto a few stuffed animals from when I was younger. I still have empathy responses with dolls and stuffed animals even though I have kids of my own. I don't carry them with me and talk to them, but I have sentimental attachments and I treat them as though they were thinking, feeling agents. There is nothing good being done by taking anyone's special thing that they take comfort in. In my experience, people with autism have more access to their imagination and can engage in complex ways with imaginary things even into adulthood, when many neurotypical people have lost their connection to their imagination and inner emotions.
Ive never been diagnosed with autism. But I'm attached to certain clothing items as a memory, or my pulshies when I get overwhelmed with things. When I was around 10 I went through a faze where I hid all of my plushies after my mother has stated it was immauture for an adult to have, she did and still does the same thing with clothing items ect.
I should warn everyone here that r/AITA is infested with Engagement Bait Posts, generally speaking, Reddit in general is infested with Engagement Bait Posts
I got diagnosed last year. There's a plush I've had since a teenager that I carry around a lot as an adult. As a teenager I kept him at home or in my locker. As an adult, I learned not to care what people think and carry him around without fear. I can't imagine how horrible I would have felt if my parents told me to stop carrying a plush around at 10. That is so young. I am so incredibly grateful my partner not only is fine with my plush but actively supports me carrying him whenever I want.
Like you, I’m an older autistic person, late diagnosed. I have a huge Squashmallow cat on my bed that I hold on nights I’m having trouble sleeping and it really helps. I personally don’t think there’s an age when you’re too old for this sort of thing.
One of my special interests is goth and vampires. I have been told that adults who are still goth should “grow out of it.” Fuck you, goths can be of any age! There is no age limit on being goth! There are plenty of adult goths in this world, and there are even goths who didn’t even get into it as teens or children and only got into goth as adults! As long as it’s not harming anyone, do what you will and do what makes you happy!
the first story, that dad clearly wasn't mature enough to have a kid in the first place.
😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻What a wonderful kitten suprise that was at the end!!! Awwwwwww, tsym!! (Pun intended)
🥰🥰🥰
"Come for the kittens, stay for the autism" still has me cracked up!😂😂😂
One of the great things about my parents was that they would never throw any of my stuff away without asking me. They would say that I had to declutter, and make suggestions, but it was always up to me what I got rid of. It still felt traumatic sometimes, but once I realised other parents didn't show the same respect for their kids I felt fortunate. Now we have done the same for our kids and I have a little more sympathy for those other parents (though I would still never do it).
I have a similar story to those in the video and I’m also autistic. Not a plushie or a blanket, but rather a video game cover. One time when I was little I went to visit my friend’s house (it might have been a sleepover, but I don’t remember) and had brought my copy of Pokémon Pearl with me, we both really liked Pokémon and her brother had a copy of the Diamond version, so we liked to play the two games together even if there wasn’t any actual multiplayer. During that day while we were playing outside, probably because her mother thought we were playing to much video games inside, her mother took the opportunity to throw away my Pokémon Pearl cover without my consent or knowledge!! I can’t remember if she told me about this or not, but I walked home without anything to place my game in nonetheless. It is apparent to me that throwing out game covers as if they’re trash is a practice she had for her own children as I remember my friend had all her DS games in a thin plastic bag all jumbled together. I think her doing this is bad and wrong anyway, but doing it to a guest without their consent is just insane!! I can’t help but wonder if she did this to other similar items as well, like DVDs or CDs… Imagining a bunch of DVDs piled together in a plastic bag with zero protection is quite painful actually… Either way I never brought game cover over there again. It really sucks that it happed, because I really liked that cover art and looking at pictures of the covers for the gen 4 games is really nostalgic for me. For many years I just had to place my copy of Pokémon Pearl loosely into some other game cover, however some years ago I got Pokémon Sun and the only edition the store I bought it from had was with a steel book, even though 3DS games are shaped a bit differently than DS games, a DS game can still fit into a 3DS cover so now I keep Sun in its regular cover and Pearl in the steel book. Slightly happy ending, I guess though I’m still pissed about it tbh.
I had a blanket all the way into adulthood that my mother made me out of my old baby clothing, so a proper quilt really. It had a rattle from something that had been attached at one corner and I liked it because it was soft and heavy, almost like a weighted blanket. The reason it disappeared was not malicious. It finally fell apart in the wash after years of being reinforced and cared for, including measures like replacing backing and stitching patches on the inside for pieces that were becoming threadbare. My mother tried to help me find something that was similar so that losing it wasn't interfering with my sleep as much. She never tried to make me get rid of it until it literally fell apart from usage to the point it couldn't be saved.
The only valid reason to remove a comfort item from a person who needs it is for cleaning/ repairing. I loved the idea of washing the toy dog like a real dog & involving the child in the process!
Would love more Hydra + hydrates updates - can't afford to join the patreon/ discord for them & feeling a bit left out here...😞
These stories break my heart. I had a lamby my mother "lost" when I was very young. It was traumatizing to me. I don't talk to her anymore (there's a lot more to that, but it does show character, doesn't it?). Two of my teens have a comfort item they've had since birth, I will always repair them. I'd never take them away, and don't understand the cruelty of others sometimes.
The fact that these adults said "Well my friends all said what I did was okay," or even "Well my friends made fun of them so I thought it was okay," shows a very stark difference in how these posters grew up as opposed to their autistic friends and partners.
In school I was bullied because I did not understand social norms, and did not have the luxury of developing "pack mentality" because in the past multiple people bullied me. Just because they all thought it was right because they were s group didn't make it right.
I did, for the longest, try to justify their actions and convince myself I was wrong, but that led to lots of self hatred and masking that hurt to maintain.
Being autistic in the wrong environment is so frustrating because its like finding out someone hated the way you breathe, so when they ask you "Can you breathe different?" And you go "Sorry I can literally only breathe one way" they still insist you can do it different or stop all together all because they're bothered slightly.
wish i could like this video a thousand times
Aw, thank you. As long as it's an odd number of like clicks, that should be fine! Haha. -Mike 🧡
I don’t think anyone’s too old for plushies boy or girl their just so comforting to have around
I carried a plushie everywhere until I was made to stop at the age of 16 by my old boarding school. I was so upset. I lost him several years later and I still miss him. Doing that to a 10 year old is sick
I have ADHD. And have a comfort item in the form of my plushie, I could not begin how unable to sleep I am from being anxious when my Blu is beeing washed and dried.
I do remenber my parents asking me to leave Blu behind has I was moving to adulthood and I strongly disagreed with the idea, I am very glad they don't stop me from beeing who I am leaving me to sleep with my Blu.
7:30
**talks on and on about how HE finds it weird and "creepy" or whatever** "i wAs jUsT tRYinG tO hElp hER" Give me a break... -_-
I collect plushies and stuffies, they are the comfort to help me curb my anxiety.
I don't care what these people think, at 40 I am keeping my stuffies
I’m autistic too and my oldest comfort item turned 35 and I’ll be 39 in November. While she doesn’t get to leave the bed anymore, I do have plushies that go everywhere with me still. Some people are still pretty crazy about it, but for the most part they either just sneak looks or ignore me.
I won't give up my exact age because there are weird people on the internet but I am in my teens and I have 37 stuffed animals sitting above my bed. Some of them are handmade by myself and some are older than me. I have a cat that was my grandmothers so it has gone down trough three generations. Almost all of them have names and different relationships to each other. For example all the dogs are sisters and so on. I still sleep with a dog I got when I was two. My point is, you are never too old for stuffed animals. They are a source of comfort that no one is to old for. The dog I sleep with while yes gets a bath every few years smell of me and it is great to have when you are feeling bad for some reason. She has been through both the happy and the sad nights. I cannot imagine how upset I would be if someone hid her from me.
Sometimes I have to reflect that often a parent who is behaving poorly, may be doing so, because they themselves are autistic, and have had their identity and comfort items removed themselves. Merely mean to help their kid survive, in a world that doesn’t accept differences.
Too old for plushies? Perish the thought! When i started working after college the first thing i did was get a giant whale plush to cuddle.
Approved! 🐳 🫂
I feel like my old man was undiagnosed but also had autism and tried to reduce my dependence on these sort of things to prepare me for the world he grew up in...
just taught me to hide it more...
If this makes anyone feel better 😅 even though I don't collect plushies I do collect schleich bayala mermaids and fairies. (On my TH-cam channel my display shelf with them on is on there, if anyone wants to know what they look like.) I just turned 30 last month and I still play with them. (If I didn't have them I wouldn't play with toys as I grew out of them years ago but these ones look more like ornaments.)
I didn't want to give up the world, story and lore that I made up when it is fun and is a huge stress reliever, escapism and cures boredom. It also helps with creativity and not losing all of the imagination we once had as kids. I would be unhappy if I gave it up especially as I have depression and anxiety and need to, to cope with life.
Only my family knows I do (luckily they don't push these social norms on me,) but I do keep it a secret from other people because I know I would get judged. I've even been judged by other autistic people for just owning them. I hope there are other adults out there that still play with their collection of whatever it is that they have, in secret too so I'm not the only one. It makes me angry how neurotypicals don't understand boundaries because they care too much about "What's normal".
This kind of cruelty is all about the parent resenting the child's happiness (they made me... so you aren't allowed either) or caring more about "what will people think" (and they'll judge me) than the well-being of the child. So much suffering by neurodiverse people is bullying by people who care more about "the (socially) right thing" than the needs, well-being, and happiness of the child. It's usually accompanied by "this is for your own good." But it isn't.