Thank you for humanizing the person and not reducing all of human nature to a couple of newfangled attachment styles. I see this A LOT on tik Tok and TH-cam and it results in treating people as malfunctioning objects and not dynamic and complex beings capable of change and evolution. It's causing a lot of people to dismiss or discard valuable relationships that could be preserved with the right methodology. Thanks, Clay.
No contact after a breakup; unless she reaches out. Then refuse friendship and let her know you’re only interested in romance. Unless you want to torture yourself seeing her move on and be intimate with someone else.
And if the anxious ex has a rebound and is on a 1 month vacation with the rebound less than a month after the breakup ... Can my ex come back or will they just get attached to the new partner and move on?
My ex broke up a month ago. She’s never ignored my texts but, she’s told me she can’t do the cycle with me anymore and told me she’s never coming back and for me to let go of the relationship. She’s been consistent and stern with that. She has said she still loves and misses me but that doesn’t mean we should be together. It’s been really difficult, almost 3 years and I just feel wrecked. I have been in therapy and reading and doing all I can. But it feels pretty hopeless and I just can’t reach out anymore when she no longer wants me. I wish things could have been different.
@@vanditsuryavanshi we are together again. We didn’t really do too much no contact and I don’t think the no contact rule is effective for repairing a relationship. But I do think it also depends on the situation. In mine, I had issues with regulating my emotions and pushing her away as a mechanism of my fearful avoidant attachment style, which caused her to not feel safe and secure with me. In my case, I began reading books on my own trauma, emotional regulation like”mastering your emotions” and therapy. I spent time healing myself and growing. As far as our communication, I kept it light and matched her energy while not pushing anything. I kept things casual while giving her time to get to know the new me and experience my growth. But i didn’t do it for her, but for me to improve my ability to connect meaningfully with ppl and practice emotional regulation and not allow insecurity to dominate my behaviors. After some time, she missed me and we began hanging out, and for awhile we became friends with benefits. Kept it fun and casual and had a lot of good times with her. I let her come back to me without pushing any relationship. In time she’s the one that wanted more again and grew closer to me, as I relaxed and let it happen. I enjoyed the moments with her without stressing about where it was leading. Life is short and I had an overall awareness that with or without her I had value and things would be alright :). Confidence, genuineness, empathy, and allowing myself to have fun ultimately led to our reconciliation. Now she again wants to spend her life with me and we are talking about living together again and building that life with eachother. I still take the day as it comes and hold my own independence. My future plans do include her but remain focused on what I need to do for my own dreams and aspirations and successes. Not sure if this helps you in anyway, as every breakup or relationship failure has different variables and must be handled differently depending on those circumstances. But the common denominator for me is to actually do the work to let a person go and grow yourself and find your own value, worth, and confidence again. That will always be a recipe for success regardless of any person you may end up with :).
Thank you for humanizing the person and not reducing all of human nature to a couple of newfangled attachment styles. I see this A LOT on tik Tok and TH-cam and it results in treating people as malfunctioning objects and not dynamic and complex beings capable of change and evolution. It's causing a lot of people to dismiss or discard valuable relationships that could be preserved with the right methodology. Thanks, Clay.
No contact after a breakup; unless she reaches out. Then refuse friendship and let her know you’re only interested in romance. Unless you want to torture yourself seeing her move on and be intimate with someone else.
Hey clay. I would appreciate it if you made a video on not letting your close ones discourage you in your journey with an ex. Thanks!
And if the anxious ex has a rebound and is on a 1 month vacation with the rebound less than a month after the breakup ... Can my ex come back or will they just get attached to the new partner and move on?
Would love an answer to this. Do you have any update on your situation?
Basically exactly what I’m going through except my ex monkey branched into a new relationship. It’s soul crushing
Great video
U was emotionally abuse your ex. it was a disagreement not breaking up…
I was thinking that she is talking to someone,,how this no contact rule affects to her?
My ex broke up a month ago. She’s never ignored my texts but, she’s told me she can’t do the cycle with me anymore and told me she’s never coming back and for me to let go of the relationship. She’s been consistent and stern with that. She has said she still loves and misses me but that doesn’t mean we should be together. It’s been really difficult, almost 3 years and I just feel wrecked. I have been in therapy and reading and doing all I can. But it feels pretty hopeless and I just can’t reach out anymore when she no longer wants me. I wish things could have been different.
Exactly Same as my story. I am also in 2 months no contact. Is there is any update after that? If we both could help each other...
@@vanditsuryavanshi we are together again. We didn’t really do too much no contact and I don’t think the no contact rule is effective for repairing a relationship. But I do think it also depends on the situation. In mine, I had issues with regulating my emotions and pushing her away as a mechanism of my fearful avoidant attachment style, which caused her to not feel safe and secure with me. In my case, I began reading books on my own trauma, emotional regulation like”mastering your emotions” and therapy. I spent time healing myself and growing.
As far as our communication, I kept it light and matched her energy while not pushing anything. I kept things casual while giving her time to get to know the new me and experience my growth. But i didn’t do it for her, but for me to improve my ability to connect meaningfully with ppl and practice emotional regulation and not allow insecurity to dominate my behaviors.
After some time, she missed me and we began hanging out, and for awhile we became friends with benefits. Kept it fun and casual and had a lot of good times with her. I let her come back to me without pushing any relationship. In time she’s the one that wanted more again and grew closer to me, as I relaxed and let it happen. I enjoyed the moments with her without stressing about where it was leading. Life is short and I had an overall awareness that with or without her I had value and things would be alright :).
Confidence, genuineness, empathy, and allowing myself to have fun ultimately led to our reconciliation. Now she again wants to spend her life with me and we are talking about living together again and building that life with eachother. I still take the day as it comes and hold my own independence. My future plans do include her but remain focused on what I need to do for my own dreams and aspirations and successes.
Not sure if this helps you in anyway, as every breakup or relationship failure has different variables and must be handled differently depending on those circumstances. But the common denominator for me is to actually do the work to let a person go and grow yourself and find your own value, worth, and confidence again. That will always be a recipe for success regardless of any person you may end up with :).
@@vanditsuryavanshigive it up bro I’m sorry .
@@screww2701 ok