Why Real Giving is so Seductive and Why Nice Guys Don't Get This
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ส.ค. 2024
- In this video, I talk about the seductive nature of giving and why nice guys have a hard time with it.
There are men out there who think that being nice means you have to give everybody exactly what they want. This is just not true! Real giving is about knowing when to say no and setting boundaries. I wanted to share with you in this video, the real way of giving, the way that will help you get better relationships and stronger connections with women. If you are struggling with the nice guy syndrome make sure to pay close attention to this one.
00:00 - Giving Vs Taking
04:05 - What real giving is
06:32 - How does real giving happen
08:40 - Giving from an embodiment perspective
12:51 - Giving is about vulnerability
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#FearlessMan #TheFearlessMan #BrianBegin - แนวปฏิบัติและการใช้ชีวิต
What a great lesson for me ☕🤔 🏆
"Giving authentically without expectations is true giving from the heart."
I've never realized why I felt a bit upset when my long distance partner (gf), most times ask me to take care of her home expenses 🙄 but I guess that is my role in my relation, to provide and protect the femme to feel safe and nurtured.
We've been LDR for five years, but I visit and live in her country every year to be in close proximity.
Anyone seeking a girl with good family culture, traditions and ethics...I've traveled and explored the asian countries but ended up meeting my partner in Indonesia 🌎🎯
not a fan of western culture
Giving comes out of love not for approval
I push away before it even starts. I am not afraid to say hi and even chat a little.
Great Lesson!
Being authentic is giving.
Not hiding your feelings that can turn into resentment is giving.
Being afraid but not backing down and stepping into the tension is giving.
Best not to give at all.
Why do you say that? - Andrew, TFM Team
Today I was thinking and feeling a lot about this topic. Made some importante changes and felt much better. And then, when I came home and opened the Fearlessman channel, I see Brian talking about this very thing. Love it. Thank you !!
Good lesson, shortly
After I found this channel I found my girlfriend of two years and I’m still with her. The biggest thing was grounding out and feeling from my hips and learning a neutral energy
I've been doing this for this past month when I asked her on a date and she said she wasn't ready and wanted to just be friends. I think it's time to have the talk. I thought I could just be friends but I don't want to just be friends. See how it goes
🤔 I don't think it's possible for the masculine and feminine to be friends. Especially if you want to sleep with the girl.
Plus, you don't want to become a girls emotional tampon, while shes sleeping with Tyron 🫥
This theme tune slaps
I'm happily married guy at 58. I was successful with women when I was single. I mostly inherently did the right things but after watching many videos I see I made a lot of mistakes. I wish you two existed and I learned these things before because it would have made life a lot better. I wish I could go back in my twenties and use many of these principles. I feel like a great warrior but there's no wars to fight lol
There is a LOT a married guy can do with your wife to increase masculine/feminine polarity and make the relationship even more fun and satisfying. Most of our clients are single but quite a few are married as well. One book you can read is The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. - Andrew, TFM Team
I liked the whole leaning in from your back or your base explanation. When you showed the difference by getting in your head I tried it myself and felt exactly how I experience this. Thank you for the insight.
Long story short you get what you put up with.
Giving comes out of fullness and abundance. If you believe that women are scarce, you have nothing to give, no matter how genuine you attempt to be. Also, in nice guy mode, it's extremely difficult to be honest, because honesty means telling her, "I felt rejected and inadequate when you moved away from me during the kiss.". That's a hard truth to convey.
hey love your content 💯
Awesome video bro, clear and powerful 🤙
Love your content man❤❤❤....only the confident really live❤
Thank you for this 🙏
Another banger from Brian, keepin it 💯
this nigga is A GOD BRO lmaooo
Thanks Mr White 😁😁 u're Heisenberg in this dating game man!! Keep the good work Brian...love from India ❤️
One of those videos to make you wish you could "Like" it twice.
So glad I clicked this video! Blown my mind but this makes so much sense. I needed to hear this. What do you mean by "tension" though?
Great to hear it's helpful in a key moment. Don't overthink tension. You absolutely know what it means on a basic animal level. When shit is going down, that's high tension, when shit is chill, that's low tension lol - Andrew, TFM Team
On another note I think you should really discuss going to the gym and learning how to dress. So much of my past success has to do with my confidence in myself. As a teenager I was very introverted but when I joined the gym (same as the one Lou ferrigno went to in Brooklyn by the way) my confidence grew with my muscles. I don't think I could have been as successful women if I didn't feel so powerful inside
Those things definitely contribute to feeling in the driver's seat of life. The thing is lots of other channels talk about that stuff. Brian focuses on the more rare stuff that he has to present. There are a couple older videos with Zan Perrion where he and Brian talk about style. - Andrew, TFM Team
Being healthy and working out are good for YOU personally and it does send of signals of health and well being which improve your chances of mating success. However, Inner game and Inner work is it's own battle. I see a lot of guys "rejecting" themselves before the girl has a chance to because they believe "i'm too tall/short/fat/skinny/ugly/pretty/old/young/rich/poor/brown/white/yada yada yada." PLENTY of gym ripped bros still can't do cold approach. Self image and recreating self image can be a complicated subject, too much to provide a short answer solution here, but the TLDR version is: it is better to believe something that benefits you which may or may not be true (EX: I'm super awesome and women love me) than to believe something which may be more accurate but only serves to prevent you from success (ex: women are not attracted to "(fill in the blank with what you believe about yourself here] guys )". What we believe tends to manifest, so better to believe the best thing possible.
Thank you so much, Amazing video ❤️
spolier alert: most women ARE "using" and "manipulating", doesn't take a dinner to "find that out" - you're just buying her company, if you can be honest with yourself, you know it's a losing move and this is ALL transactional, just like in childhood.
woohoo, super hot, this restores my faith in all you masculine men; it makes me happy, thank you for that!
💫
Brian do you have a red pill mindset? Has the red pill made your mindset more masculine? How do you feel about it now?
Hey man, Simply speaking Brian doesn't have a red pill mindset. I'm linking a video below he did roughly on that topic. Red pill philosophy puts men and women in a constant power struggle. At Fearless we focus helping clients make the most of the masculine / feminine polarity for maximum enjoyment by all parties. - Andrew, TFM Team
BRIAN… your story is exactly my situation right now. I need help. Everything about your story is my story. She’s my girl best friend and she’s in “the talking stage” with these other guys, but yet I still feel like there is something between me and her. I am scared of losing her as a friend, and I’m waiting for the perfect time to make a deeper move, but the truth is, like you said it hurts me to hear her talk about other guys, and all. My questions are first, what is your feedback and what do you think I should do ??
Be direct with her about what you want.
If its not reciprocated, move on.
Thats it.
You have to be willing to look at the internal emotional reasons you are in this situation. It's not really about this specific girl. If she moved away and wasn't in your life, you would just find another one to repeat the cycle unless you understand the deeper reasons. - Andrew, TFM Team
Hey brian, i am watching your videos for last two years and also doing your exercises not fully but yes.... unfortunately not getting any results... I am 25 and still virgin...and i have no one here who can guide me..or tell me what am i doing wrong.. Im constantly seeking validation from everyone especially from women.... Im trying to stop that but not happening... I read no more mr. Nice guy...but i dont know... Nothing changing.. I want to change my life... I am so tied of this... Even i stopped doing every thing because i am going nowhere...i want to break this nice guy...want some results.... One more thing after reading no more mr. Nice guy.. I am constantly thinking every one surround me are using me... I am confused to make boundaries... If you are reading this and i hope you are... Then plz help me.. And reply.....maybe it will change my life...
Hi Steven, You need to be willing to continue your personal work. If you complain that it isn't working and give up, you lock yourself in place. If one thing isn't working try another. No one can do it for you. You are seeking a lot of attention with this post but attention and validation from others won't be the thing that makes real change in your life. You need to be willing to keep doing what you need to do no matter whether you get attention from other people or not. There is a huge amount of help available for anyone who is ready deep down to make changes. - Andrew, TFM Team
I know this is a different topic, but I'm getting the impression that nce the girl is in your social circle, there is a time and place for high energy and grounded energy? I know approaching during the day, grounded energy is important, but all the time? Especially in your social circle, I'm thinking that will be boring if one is always grounded. Even when applying tension in conversations.
They aren't mutually exclusive. You have to have both. - Andrew, TFM Team
@@TheFearlessMan Makes sense!
Hey man I’m a Marine, spec ops. I can probably put you in contact with that girl. Let me help?
I'll ask Brian - Andrew, TFM Team
nice guys TAKE because they're super wounded and their cups are EMPTY, due to abuse, neglect, narcissistic abuse.
It's not like NGs don't get it, they never GOT IT, where it=love.
It's incomplete. Nice guys do get love, but nice guys aren't so nice to appreciate it or realise it. They're unsatisfied all the time about love. They're greedy. They're wanting so many things from so many people(it's understandable), but when it comes to contribution, they make very little of it and get satisfied. Prime reason for this is that they're lonely from within. Not because they're not finding enough love, it's because such guys are not focussing on themselves to improve from within, to find a purpose and work on it, to get bold and face their fears, to go and take risks, to oppose their own people if need be, to workout and get disciplined, always waiting for motivation, when it's all around them, and to start pleasing themselves as well, just as a man should. Psychology of a man is very different from a woman's. It's very important for a man to have a strong purpose in life. It's okay to seek love. But to know that you can only get so much love from someone else as you can give to your yourself, that's when men would truly become 'nice'
And it just happens that it is coming from a man who has been that kind.
Stop making excuses to yourself and stop lying to yourself.
@@shs9201 nah nice guys don't get love because they never got love.
@@_Trakman yeah, they got fear and excuses
How do you feel about asking a girl to kiss or cuddle etc. Instead of just acting on it until she rejects you?
Depends how you ask. Are you asking in order to make her do the work of taking away your fears of rejection or are you asking in a fun, vulnerable way? Same question goes for the not-asking approach. What is the energy you are acting from? - Andrew, TFM Team
@@TheFearlessMan is there a video for this explanation, if not, welcome it. Keep up the great content👍
No specific video but Brian discusses it a lot in various videos. - Andrew, TFM Team
Women are turned off by a guy who needs to ask permission for a kiss because it sends a signal to them that the man lacks social intuition. Going for the kiss is almost always a gamble, but so is asking for permission. Better to be rebuffed for bold action than be spotlighted as a weak or clueless dude. Going for the kiss sends the signal "I assume you like me because that is my normal experience with all other girls" (high value). Asking permission sends the opposite signal. You should be compliance testing (Hoop Theory) and building Kino compliance throughout the date too, so that going for the kiss is not a sudden big move, but just a small escalation. And a welcomed one.
algorithm
but what if sex is traumatizing for the guy - you can't be radically honest about that, can you?
you have to LIE then women sniff out the incongruence.
or you trick her into having sex, have a terrible experience, then you never see her again.
endless cycles of pain
Been watching you for 4 year's 21 now and am doing so much better.
Any thoughts on how these poem's will affect/effect a woman who is attracted to me?
When every little teardrop falls
Be my little waterfall
We'll fall with grace
Get lost inside a sacred place
Don't be afraid to let every drop touch my skin.
When you feel lost within the prison of your mind let the dolphins rise to your suprise again.
In an open road and an open door he knew what to do when she looks at him bridge the two halves of the world, when he get's a chance again for they'll never pass this way again. And in an open floor he held her hand and the dance began to merge them again. There breath as deep as they make it.
They're hand's interwined underneath the cherry blossom tree's in sweet moonlight.
Every step a piece of the wall around his heart one by one coming down. His gaze fell gentle upon her's and within she saw a soul inside that was so filled with love, but scared to use it. He turned softly in step to the music and very slowly opened up his heart, he didn't know why he trusted her, but every step he couldn't resist removing every brick that he placed to wrap around and protect his heart didn't understand every tear that fell nor why she still danced hand in hand. It took so much energy to keep from fallling to his knees. The only thing he truly knew was that it hurt to stay, but to leave would hurt so much more. She felt so many waves of his and her own ocean a rush of everything crashing both heavily and gently interwined in zero and heavy gravity. She didn't walk away in fact everything she didn't know and everything left to say made her stay. He didn't feel broken or shattered within, just mishaped and rejecting of love. Everything was slowly becoming unwrapped in a safe place, yet it was also all beautifully crashing down they danced and didn't make a sound. He didn't expect to break down like this nor did she expect to cover up his own pain and give his heart a safe place to hit the ground. This experience and exposure for both of them was unexpected and beautifully profound. She felt so many pieces of armor and wall hit the ground. She felt as it all came crashing down and how she was his stillness in the violence.
He was losing direction in the storm of his silence. He refocused on just letting the light pour over and into him without a sound and began to realize love was he wanted, needed, yet he ran so far away holding onto nothing. He always thought he would fade to black in the aftermath when it all came crashing down. He never opened himself in this way before, but nevertheless turned the page like never before.
In their ocean eye's they mind's collided, in close proximity their heart's opened, and if the whole world was watch still they would dance with eachothers soul. The warmth within their touch, the smiles and the ways they blushed, the beautiful ways they fell apart, their love their turning page. The world around them disappeared and their soul's caught fire, every kiss a redefining wave, every touch changing the ocean beneath every wave, the dance was set in motion and they both became fearlessly brave. Everything interwined in their devotion beneath their skin where they were pulled apart in every direction they healed every thread stretched thin. They became deep sea divers lost in eachother again. So much more than the crashing of the ocean to the shore, in the dark friend's became lover's. We're they rebels, lone survivor's? They were shining, they young yet to grow old. This was not a beautiful deception, but something far more valuable of their diamonds within. And soon every wall built up from truama stored within became a pillar of a redefining fondation that held in magical surrender their heartbeats within. And so they made eachother stronger within and built up the pieces of their fragile heart's within the wildfire of all they have been. The walls were not longer blockages keeping them from love, but a gateway to full surrender in the container of their love. Every footstep leaving a light, every motion of their ocean a tether to the story they must tell, their skin shone crystalline and with every heartbeat the deeper the fell. This story they would tell it well the beauty of the joining of their seas. Every ribbon they unraveled the love they held within and considered ordinary changed with every step, every glance, every touch of their hand, every kiss a freeing wave in the safely of this paradise they made. They rewrote their darkness and covered eachother wrapped in the secrets of their nakedness and artist at work their soulfire the masterpiece. "Don't be don't be afraid" they whispered as they built a landscape more enchanting than anything they had ever been able to create. Lost in this safe space, free from every misery and pain that hadn't kept them safe. They promised to forevermore keep eachother safe, the light within both of them rewriting their darkness from this masterpiece. Every spin built a better home within them. Every emotion healing within them. Every wall safely fell around them.
In the moment they opened up in a way they never opened up to anyone, every kiss kept the firelight bright. And so they gave themselves a moment this time to bring them closer to the love they were meant to find. Every touch in the moonlight healed them and kept them close with every touch of the fire burning so bright in their dance from the moon and tide.
Under every star they found a brighter light upon their soul. Their world's collided, within there arm's they held eachothers heart's and soul's inside protecting eachother from the world outside. In a silence so divine rangout a magical mealody bringing them together. There was no one else eye's that could see into them the way they saw into eachother. And overtime this dance opened their heart to eachothers oceanic reality. They thanked eachother for placing it all at God's feet and letting God guide there feet every step, every breath held word's unspoken within this ocean they shared word's within. And so bloomed innocent and true the soulfire they still held within filled now by passionate desire yet again. They became the light, the night, the color of their skin, the pain and cure, everything they passionately desired to touch, they never knew it would mean so much. They were fear, they were love, they took eachother to the world they brought to life, fading in, fading out, lost in their paradise every inch of their skin a discovery meant to find, their heart of fire blazing in the moonlight, the set the pace every heartbeat painting a new color upon the color of their soul's, they became eachothers discovery meant for the gravity of their love, they lit a spark that kept them warm, the ember of their flame enternal unable to burn out in the artwork of what was rekindled. Their beating heart didn't fade they found the life that they have saved. All their lonely night finally over, side by side when they are older. All the edges fit together and every edge held them together, they took the weight of the world off their shoulders every kiss brought them closer. The way there eye's found eachother to blew there heart away, deep within the waves of there intimacy they found a way to intertwine all they were meant to be.
Their touch consumed their mind, eachothers kiss made the world around them disappear, deep in their mind's, fueled by every breath, in zero gravity the explosion of proximity and flow of exploration of everything meant to be, lost in their ocean of a supernova soulfire explosion giving the greatest gift of all, their own heart's a masterpiece of their love...
Be the light for eachother that the world doesn't make. Don't be the song in passenger - word's for that would a saddening fate. There's more beyond the silence, beauty within our fall, the ocean way above as our soul's collide below. They breathe for eachother in a way the world will never know, so filled with colors from the exchanging of two soul's. They danced beneath the moonlight & upon the floor in their home. They become a beacon of light that only few may know. And you see an emerald, sapphire everglow in a season of desire that hasn't lost it's hold. So they skydive toghether falling upon both their soul's.
Innocent & true forever in full bloom.
Beside the rocks along the river.
Hand in hand they walked & talked.
Above the city just the two of them tonight.
A beautiful echange that brought the back to life. The seeds they planted on their soul's a beautiful ever and afterglow. The love they shared is strong and true forever trusting their future's truth. They waited and waited for love to bloom brought to life under the moon. A beautiful truth to be known. The song they sing not many have known...
He held her hand as she ran to an open field filled with flowers and sun.
He uncaged more and more of his heart as they ran, the reflecting of their diamond love within their eye's as they ran.
And there it began again.
One step two step three step four.
Wildfire, immune from anything that would extinguish their fire, the summer of everything they wanted it to be.
The June Fire he waited for patiently, as he now openly danced with her, she followed the fire of her heart lost in the sea of every spark.
They ran to the tree and carved their names into the bark sealing it with a heart, a soulfire from just one spark a wildfire burning within their heart.
I choose to believe this is more than a wish,
The coin flicked two side's to fall on, two choices to be made.
One leads to fear and despair, the other to love and hope.
The coin falls at last the choice made as he steps through and takes her hand.
In their dance their future's told the choice they made brighter than gold.
For she is the river and he is the stones and both collide to lead the way to their home away from a canyon of dust, every spinning step they spun ever graceful towards their oasis.
Morning light reappeared free from every fear, and in the night they danced so graceful with word's unspoken they said "I see you." The garden of love lay before them, the choices they made led to a perfect kiss.
Through all of time they would never drift, their heart's for one another a beautiful gift.
Never changed their mind river and stone interwined becoming cliff and sea, hand in hand they danced moon and tide upon the shore.
Their love Through the valley, past the sea, beyond the cliff, upon their shore, into there heart's a fire to wild to ignore.
A season returned that they hadn't forgot, there fear no longer louder than life, they spun around a dream returned to guide they're path, painting light on their dacing.
Can they see what they both dream and realise it's beautifully more than a fantasy lost within love's ecstasy, their beauty known, the song's they sing, oh the way she spuns lead by his hand into a kiss from her dance and so from one touch they collided softly in an explosion at last.
don't show too much and be direct. Send the poem and if she doesn't like don't react.
Just don't give at all.
The key thing is Brian is referring to things that grow when you give them, not things that you can run out of. - Andrew, TFM Team