Yes, I was just going to say that and then I read your comment. "Dealing with". How nice of people that they can learn how to "Deal with" me. Right away I imagine someone letting out a big sigh because they have to "Deal with" a person with a disability. Wow, don't let us put you out. I don't want to bother you and make you have to "Deal with" me. Geez. Why do you think people with disabilities refuse help.
I’m a wheelchair user and the most patronising thing is when someone kneels down to talk to you and then leans on your chair to help them stand up. DON’T do either of these things. If you are in a seated area sit down if not stand back a bit so I don’t get a sore neck. Respect personal boundaries and space.
Or when they sit right next to you because another chair is there while your eating because they want to "help" but all they are really doing is take a break
Regarding comment #4: Being a wheelchair user, myself. I personally, hate it when a person feels they need to crouch down to my level, in order to talk to me. I realize, it is not the same for others. Just talk to me, the way you would talk to anyone else. Just my one cent worth! :) :)
I don't mind when people do that because i am short but what really makes me mad is when someone talks to me like i am a baby when i am a teenager and able to hear
Or when they yell like you're deaf. Dude, just because I am sitting in a chair with wheels doesn't mean my ears are going to stop working. And the worst of all, is when they feel obliged to pat me on my head. The last person that did that regretted it.
Then the dog should be wearing a vest that clearly says "Please don't pet me, I am working" instead of having to field the question "can I pet him" all the time. Most people aren't going to assume it's a service dog in countries where dogs are mostly pets. Especially kids, they typically want to interact with new and friendly dogs. So, be a responsible service dog owner and put a vest on them.
I've actually heard that wheelchair users prefer that you stand up when talking to them. Kneeling down can make them feel inferior or like you're treating them as if they were a child, even when they could understand you perfectly well standing up. Of course everyone is different, it's important to be aware of.
When we think of “disabled Americans” we need to remember that it’s more than just a few people in wheelchairs. It’s a very large and diverse community of people, who nevertheless share many common experiences of having disabilities and coping with the often difficult place disabled people occupy in society
I am a wheelchair user. I hate people bending from the waist and sticking their face in mine like I’m a baby. I prefer people to stand far enough away so I can talk to them without a crick in my neck, or if there’s no room, to sit next to me, but without leaning on my chair. I hate people crouching next to me (their poor knees!) especially if they steady themselves on my chair. In fact touching the wheelchair is a bit like groping my body; don’t!
I love that most comments are from wheelchair users talking about not crouching! I totally agree, I hate when people think they have to come down to my level. 9/10 times it’s so they can talk to me like I’m a child, then when they find out I’m 18, they stand back up because they realize how ridiculous it is to do that.
Its really easy. Treat us like People, if we are struggling ask if we need help but also accept if we say no, don't just randomly push a wheelchair (ask! You wouldn't want to be suddenly carried by a stranger either), don't touch us without consent (basic knowledge) and don't talk to us like children and let us talk/communicate! Don't talk over us. Oh and don't crouch down to a wheelchair user. Don't. Very awkward
When we think of “disabled Americans” we need to remember that it’s more than just a few people in wheelchairs. It’s a very large and diverse community of people, who nevertheless share many common experiences of having disabilities and coping with the often difficult place disabled people occupy in society
I work with people who have a wide variety of disabilities, and one of the first things you learn is never to crouch to speak to them. It is is usually interpreted as condescending and rude. If there's a chair available I'll sit, and if the person can't support their head I might make other adjustments to my positioning, but there's no way I'd crouch unless they ask me to.
Hannah Lyttle You couldn’t be more patronising if you tried! You are basically saying “It’s ok I know how to treat the disabled I’m experienced” as for your reference to “them” I suggest that you perceive “them” as different to yourself. As a wheelchair user myself your comment made me cringe with horror.
A few I would say is just because we don't look disabled doesn't mean that we aren't...also we live and enjoy life like anyone else just adjust our lives differently due to whatever disability we have.. don't be afraid to ask us questions..we are willing to share so others can get a better understanding.
Speak for yourself! It is rude to ask strangers personal questions and I resent the assumption that they think they can bypass this normal etiquette just because I'm visibly disabled. They are going to be sorry they asked. Real sorry. I can have quite the mouth of me and I will start with why did you feel free to ask a perfect stranger such a personal question? How they respond from there will result in how poorly that goes for them. But I will set them straight on their rude behavior.
People without disabilities don't realize that whatever jokes they make of us, that's going to be on them in the end. Due to my disability, people think they can say, ask or do whatever the hell they want to me and have no filters. People who do me unsolicited good deeds want me to think they're there for me if I need help. Well, they probably wonder why I don't thank them or turn to them for assistance ever again. That's because I've dealt with way too much of this bullshit over the years to want to forgive people who didn't know what they were doing or that it was wrong and I don't have time for it anymore. Life's too short to have ableism and prejudice define me or rule my world. Those people are just going to realize that whatever the hell they initially thought of me is way more true of them than me: such as not being able to do anything. They're just going to be frustrated, not with me but with themselves for their ineptitudes that they themselves never knew they had until they try to help when it's not needed. You have no idea how many people I've known over the years who I haven't spoken to in over a decade due to their insolence.
Bullshit... This is a perfect example of what I hate. Who gives a fuck what they think about you asking to help them? You are free to ask anyone in the world if they need your help, whether disabled or not. If they don't like it, they can go fuck themselves. You shouldn't ever have to be worried whether or not you offend somebody simply by asking them if they need help. Fuck that!! They won't put that shit on me.
@@MotoAtheist are you disabled? Because if you're not you really don't understand. I am blind myself and I would never like someone to say how can I help you. Or assume stuff what I can and cannot do. You do really offend them in tell them that they're helpless. And you're telling them go f*** a disabled person in the ass. Well I think you are disabled in the mind yourself
You both are fucking assholes if you can't allow people to assist you without being offended. If I see an elderly person walking toward a door, I rush up and open it for them. Same with somebody in a wheelchair or has any other issue. It's just one little thing out of their day, it wasn't meant to be a life altering gesture, just common fucking courtesy. I won't let stupid assholes like either of you prevent me assisting people whenever the fuck I choose.
@@BlazeDuskdreamer No, I'm not a sweet and loving caring individual when it comes to ignorant fucks who try and turn the tables on people. Try to fucking make me feel guilty for offering a bit of assistance. So.. yeah... FUCK YOU!
I'm a wheelchair user and think its creepy and weird when people come down to my level to speak to me. Just stay up there, its perfectly fine. But some wheelchair users like it, so you could ask if they want you to sit down or something.
I always ask first, but when I was using one temporarily, it made it easier for me if someone sat down so I didn't have to look up at them all the time.
Some of the funniest dark humor jokes in the world came from a blind friend of mine. There was one time some kid wasn't in class and the teacher asked if anyone knew where he got off to. Cue blind friend wryly quipping, "well I didn't see him." The entire classroom died laughing.
Sorry this reply is late (well 3 years late) but bloody hell I can relate to this comment so much. I'm blind and one of my favourite things to do is joke about it. This one time I was in school and we had a power cut so all the lights went out, this one girl screamed "I can't see" and without thinking I shouted "neither can I" had everyone there laughing
I’m a part time wheelchair user. If I’m talking with someone for a short time and they continue to stand, fine, though I won’t be able to make eye contact with them most of the time. If I’m talking with someone for more that a couple minutes (or they really want eye contact), I greatly appreciate it if they sit down. I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, a genetic connective tissue disorder, and looking up for more than 10 or 15 seconds is painful and often triggers migraines. I think it’s fine - great, even - if the person asks what I prefer (would it be more comfortable for you if I sat down). I was at a conference, using my chair, and a woman wanted to talk with me. It was very noisy so I couldn’t back away to reduce the strain on my neck. I asked her to sit down and she said she was fine. Well she was, but I wasn’t! I ended up with a migraine and I still had 1.5 hours to drive to get home.
I am disabled and I agree will all these comments. Please, do not ever, ever, ever talk to us like we are children or crouch in front of a weelchair user unless you tell them it is to help you hear them better. My darling husband hates it when people use the word disabled towards me. He is so adorable. I've gotten used to the word and it doesn't really affect me like it use to. I do think though, and this is why I like the comments here so much, that as disabled people, we also need to inform the non-disabled people. Sometimes it's down to miscommunication especially as even if we have the same kind of disability it affects people differently. To those who are not disabled and genuinely want to help: The best thing yo ucan do is ask if someone needs disability needs help and then how you can help. If they say no, then please do not insist. I promise if you do this the person will feel very respected and feel like you understand them.
I am a wheelchair user. Not sure I agree with How to talk to a person in a wheelchair lol. I mean if it's easier for the person and they want to get a chair that's great but please do not lean over like we are children lol. If a person is particularly tall I just back away a little instead of being so close.
I agree. I would actually rather them stand then get down to my level. (Only because most the time they do that, they’re talking to me like I’m a child)
very nice...I'm also physically fit.working as an IT Engineer. but want to marry with a disable girl.want to feel her life..can u help me..+919781870890
i don't mind if people crouch down to my level as long as its not to close . im hard of hearing so it helps depending on situation . what i don't like is when they lean over me. i find that intimidating
I'm a wheelchair user and suddenly in the last few weeks I find I'm constantly being asked how I got to where I am - well, I didn't walk, don't you know cars can have hand controls fitted.
U know what annoying me, is that in high school a new teacher come in to deaf class and suddenly treat us like a kindergarten class. Like no stop, disabilities can be educated like other 'normal' kid. We just a little different and that okay. Edit: she stop bothering (trying to fixed)me a year later.
sounds to me like this was all assumed by a non disabled person.. I hate it when ppl lean towards me when theyre talking..im not in a chair but am short to go with the disability.. also hate it when they yell..as im not deaf but could be if they kept that up... I tell directly that whatever it is that theyre doing and i dont like.. please stop.. they normally do :P
In fact I am blind in some of these things I'd really much agree with like when there is a blind person never ever grab them from the arm. You asked them to grab you arm. And never first talked to the guy dog first talked to the owner first. So you find these people are right about those things.
My dad is disabled and he's my idol he has 2 jobs have met the president is a great guy and almost everyone in my country knows him it makes me mad when people look at him like he's an alien he's just like you but he walks differently
I agree with Diane as a 28 year old man with autism who by the way lives fully independently one of the hardest things of having a disability is being given accomodations for a different kind of disability then I have. Just like disabilites have spectrums so do accomodations. Accomodations for specific disabilities are appropriate while for other disabilities those same accomodations are not. And the unfortunate thing is people are so stuck believing the accomodations they give me are appropriate they percieve it as a threat when I tell them the accomodation they are giving me is for a different kind of disability then the kind I have when they should take it as a learning opportunity so they wont make that mistake again.
Personally, I consider myself physically challenged, NOT disabled or handicapped. I think the mere mention of the terms disabled and handicapped is part of the problem people like us have. I wish these latter terms would just go away!
personally as someone in a wheelchair, i look very similar to the women in 0:16 i am very short xP i feel really uncomfortable when people Kneel down to talk to me,i don't know, it just feels so weird and Awkward and a little patronising, i know they don't mean it that way, but i am like man just talk to me like a normal person i can hear you just fine when you're standing up -_- it is something that always bothered me =/ P.S. Sorry For My Bad English.
+reemCGR Well, not but I have plans of creating company that will create software and technologies for people with disabilitires, because I believe that we are here not just to get but also to give and I believe that I can contribute to the future world which will give equal opportunities to all people. If that make sense) What is your name?
Most people with a disability tend to have a good sense of humour,will usually bounce off your misunderstanding with a cocky joke as shown with the shorter woman in this video. # Awesome comeback (nah I had my car shrunk lol Respect!
The kneeling one is personal. Some do and don’t mind you kneeling. I personally would like you to ask can you kneel or I ask do you mind kneeling so I can have an easier time hearing.
As a totally blind person, I hate when people yell at me when I can hear them real close to me. I also hate when people grab me without asking me if I need assistance!
I'm not blind or in a wheelchair but it still bothers me all the helpful behaviors these people receive. It's disorienting for a blind person to be grabbed by the arm and pulled, and it's alarming for a wheelchair user to pushed in a direction they don't want to go. Or for buildings to be inaccessible for a wheelchair user. It still bothers me what I read.
Great Diane I agree , some people seem to talk in a really patronising manner or ignore me or i got called names I have a learning dsiability also I get stared at
I'm disabled with sacralagenesis a version of spinibifidia and I'm in a wheelchair and bending down to get to my eye level is very rude im independent and in wheelchair sports and people who are on top of me always make me nervous and mad I don't have a mental disability it's physically disabled. If ur in a wheelchair or crutches and people act like your stupid and have to baby talk you just tell them to back off I'd that doesn't work then just tell them how you feel, I was in school with an aide like that and I went nuts, so now im a independent student who gets around fine with no help. If you dedicate yourself you can be independent and achieve great things.
Auslly Love 1000 Yes I can relate to that! Someone asked me when I die will they burry my wheelchair with me. I replied only if they have an accessible grave. 😂
We’re all diffrent get over it people who are mean to these lovely humans! They at just born diffrent and are special so I love them for what they r not what they want to be
As a wheelchair user, I find it incredibly patronising when someone bends down to talk to me and would much rather people just stood and addressed me like anyone able-bodied who is shorter than them. I genuinely don't mind looking up and will be more annoyed if someone bends down. I do like it if someone sits on a chair if possible though. Obviously it’s personal preference but most wheelchair users I‘ve met share my view.
I hope nobody follows this advice. I bet a large amount of money that the person who made this is able-bodied. It explains why a lot of the trained carers I've had have been so patronising!
Being an older woman who's physically challenged ( walks using crutches) if I had to give anyone advice on what to do when they see a disabled person I would honestly say 1 don't point ,2 don't stare & 3 ( if we're in a wheelchair or in my case walk using crutches) please don't ask us how we ended up in that situation ( because it's none of your business)
I do not use a wheelchair, but I use a walker. When people are friendly and helpful, I appreciate their effort. I am never rude to them, EVER. Often, it is the disabled person that needs to learn how to communicate effectively with an able-bodied person. I was taught, when I was very young, that my personal challenges are never an excuse for being a jerk. Not all sarcasm is rude, but sometimes it is hurtful. If someone grabs me, trying to help, I kindly say, “Thank you for your help, but it works better for me if I take your arm”. Most disabled people are kind, considerate people, but a few give the rest of us a bad name. Two wrongs don’t make a right!
Word of advice to any disabled people who are condescended to- The best way I deal with it is to do it back. I was in a coma when I was a kid, now I have short term memory loss, sensitivity to loud noises, etc. Usually, when someone is condescending, I say something to the effect of- “So, I don’t expect you to get it, but, speaking in such a condescending way is not a good way to address disabled people. Frankly, it’s not a good way to address anyone, other than maybe a dog. Again, I don’t expect YOU to get it or to do the right thing.” or something like that. It’s SO SATISFYING watching them squirm. LOL This is DEFINITELY NOT the nature way to handle the situation, but, it’s worked for me every time. LOL
And the blind! Why in hell do they shout at the blind? I used to commute with a blind friend on the bus and people shouting at him? Then assuming he was my husband and asking all kinds of questions - super personal. Stuff I didn't and shouldn't know as just his friend. Why do people feel free to question the disabled and their people?
Good advice but worth remembering that people will look twice & that is just a survival instinct inherited in our genes. Also, being rude when offered help does alienate people. I once offered help to someone who couldn't reach across a wide shelf. Her reply was so positive but she did comment that no-one had ever offered to help her before.
I have Asperger Syndrome and so many people I've known over the years always want to help but don't know what they're doing. Here are some examples of helpful behaviors people have used that I've found quite offensive: giving unsolicited advice and making inappropriate comments or suggestions, asking inappropriate personal questions, hovering over me, following me around and invading my personal space, helping without asking, offering to help and nagging me to take it, attempting to take over out of fear something's not going to work out or I seem to be struggling, helping me out of pity, or trying to comfort me every time I make a mistake. It's all these helpful behaviors that people don't realize aren't helpful. I've experienced these behaviors many times over the years and it's rude, insulting, and annoying.
This is a superior video and a good training one for the public so that this way, the people with disabilites can be treated equal. But sadly, there are those who think that discrimination is cool and they know it's stupid and it's wrong. I had to block someone for making a comment I didn't like and it was a political one. Career politicians are known for mocking the handicapped. A good reliable politician that really cares would not mock a handicapped person. Yes my blocking makes it look though that i am from the big corporate world.
One from a wheelchair user: a public building will usually have several doors in a line for able-bodied people to open and walk through, and one electric door meant for disabled persons to use by pressing a button. So, WHY is it that able-bodied people have to use the one and only door I don't have to manually open myself? Able-bodied persons rudely dismiss, disregard, and disrupt my attempt to go through the only entrance or exit I'm able to use, while they jump ahead of me to enter or exit. Several people have even had the temerity to WAIT for me to clear the electric door, ignoring the fact that another door is RIGHT THERE next to it for them to walk through. All they need to do is PUSH IT OPEN AND GO. Society can be stupid and crazy and lazy. The next time someone does that to me, I'm gonna wheel right over their toes. } (
Recently I was go to a fast food restaurant this person in a wheelchair didn't ask me to get them a cup of water they told me to get them a cup, how rude!!!
I have Asperger Syndrome and #5 always gets me the most. Everyone wants to help me and think they know what I need, want, or ought to believe or have. They think they know what's best for me and either catch me off guard and assist without asking, or force their help upon me after I've already said no. It's having people do things for me as if I can't do anything myself, helping without asking, taking over during times of difficulty, focusing all their attention on me, subjecting me to everyone else's attention, talking for me, hovering over me, staring at me, setting goals for me to accomplish, giving unsolicited advice, asking me personal questions or giving personal details of me to others that's contributed to my frustrations the most. Overall, it's when people give me all the attention and do all the work for me thinking that they're helping me that bothers me the most. It used to be a serious problem for me when I was still a kid. It still happens to me today as an adult occasionally but not as often as when I was younger. This is something that really stung me last summer. I was shopping at a grocery store where I used to work one afternoon while I was unemployed. I got fired from an organization that helps adults with disabilities be more independent in their homes for a mistake I made where I was expected to know a procedure but was never taught or walked through. I told my cashier who was one of my previous co-workers when I was still there about my story that I was terminated. She called customer service and told them my news without asking. I wasn't okay with that and would have requested that she don't tell my story, especially right in front me, even if she had asked for permission. Although this was last summer and it's now almost next summer, I'm still mad at her. That was so rude and unprofessional. I'm doing the best I can to get through life, and I admit that certain things are hard for me to do, accept, or go through, but I don't want anyone's attention! It's all those things that go on in my world where people concern themselves. They want to help out, take over, and solve my problems. I can understand that they mean well but they don't realize they're not being helpful and their efforts just upset me rather than help me. Because if I can do something myself, even if it's hard for me or takes longer than most people can typically do it, then why would I want you to do it for me? And who said anything about me needing help? Certainly not me, so therefore nobody said it. But yeah, #5 always gets me the most.
See, the problem with this video, and much of the advice here, is that it makes a lot of assumptions. You really want to interact better with disabled people? Just fucking ask them. They're all individual people, and they all have their own opinions. Kneeling down might make one wheelchair user feel more comfortable, while it may offend another. The main point here is to just not make assumptions. That goes for everyone, disabled or not. If we were just a little better at communicating, we all might not hate each other right now.
D A S H Vector that's absolutely fine but if they say no please don't be like most people and try to help anyway, that's one of my biggest pet peeves and it doesn't really help most of the time either
Definitely unnecessary, we will ask if need help. If you were waiting outside a shop and people kept coming up to you and asking if you needed help, you would think they were mad. At the 100th ask, you would throw something heavy at their heads!
D A S H Vector ... no that is fine but if the person says "no thanks" forcing the issue is what is not fine. we appreciate people offering help when they see us struggling but ASKING what you can do to help is ALWAYS advised instead of just "mucking in" without checking first. and as long as u follow instructions as to HOW to give that help there is nothing wrong with offering help. I sometimes wish more people would lol.
I think its same as anyone ells, if it looks like they need help ask but don't insist, if not don't bother them probably gets exhausting if every ones asking if you need help
I also do not like it if a person bends, crouches or kneels to talk to me (I know some wheelchair users prefer it). If there is a chair around, you could pull up a chair for a talk. However, if you are crouching in front of me I will probably ask if you if it's uncomfortable and tell you I don't mind if you stand. I'm not thinking about how we are on different levels, I don't think you're being condescending by standing, and I don't feel intimidated by someone standing next to me no matter now tall you are. I am not craning my neck. Crouching or kneeling in front of me just feels strange and awkward to me. Also, never grab someone's wheelchair and start pushing without asking! This happens to me a lot.
When we think of “disabled Americans” we need to remember that it’s more than just a few people in wheelchairs. It’s a very large and diverse community of people, who nevertheless share many common experiences of having disabilities and coping with the often difficult place disabled people occupy in society
I thought bending down to their level to talk with a wheelchair user was disrespectful and condescending I had a few friends who were in wheelchairs and I'd always talk to them when i was standing up straight it wasn't a problem
I have a physical disability and I sometimes have the feeling it is confused for a mental disability?....Or perhaps I do have both and don't quite get it?
Metro mobility driver I had this done to me and ihad that it done by the driver grabbed me by the arm. It scared 😨me and now I had it done in Dec 2021 and I was scared of how much it would cost to go through it again and then I told metro mobility about it too.
Disagree with #4. I do find it condescending if they stoop to talk to me. Now if you're talking for an extended length of time, well, yes, be able bodied people don't generally just stand for long periods of time either. But a few minutes - no, don't stoop to talk to me. #5 is a pet peeve of mine. I actually hate people running to hold the door for me because 9/10 they just wind up blocking my way. Let me amend that, I hate when they do it incorrectly. Hold the door from behind, not in front. If you have to block the doorway to hold the door for someone, you're creating more problems for their ability to get through it than you're solving.
Don't assume because we have color in our hair a tattoo and lipgloss on that we are happy. We are in pain we are trying to be like you! And not be judged!
It’s actually pretty rude to interact with a service dog or even ask to interact with it. If the owner volunteers it then go for it, but speaking to a person with a disability then giving their dog a pat will often offend because the dog is working and distracting it undermines the purpose of the dog in the first place. Some people don’t mind at all, but I’d still suggest waiting for them to volunteer their dog first.
Disabled people obviously need a good bidet, but of which type? 1. Obsolete STANDALONE bidet: cons: Should use hands either to clean your bum, or the basin from the residuals. Waking around with cloths down, cleaning the tiles. So awkward sitting. Space and time spending. HYGIENE problems. You have to clean the sink after and there are HYGIENIC DANGERS.. 2. HAND HELD bidet: Could wet cloths and around place. Spends much water. Could push filthy water to genitalia. It needs you to be versatile. It could traumatize testicles. It could leak. 3. With OBLIQUE jet more or less, add-on bidet types: It is not so effective, especially if there are hemorrhoids and we know that almost every person has got them. It can push dirty water to near genitalia and cause UT, because of wrong jet direction. The water jet should direct front to back. It could wet cloths and spend too much of water. Some are too expensive, complicated and needing frequent service. “Any discussion about, how a bidet works, wipe-wash, comparing bidet types, sanitation in private and public or hospital toilets, comfort, easiness in use, warm - cold water use, effectiveness, time spending in toilet, hand involvement, wet wipes, cost, etc, now with the appearance in market of the revolutionary KO BIDET, with its VERTICAL or front to back directed water jet, had become, if KO BIDET is not taken in account, irrelevant and out of date”. Happy to supply any relative information. www. zikonto@hotmil.com
Woman "what's his name?" Blind man "fang ... only joking it's Malcolm really". I'm blind myself and hoping to get a guide dog, I'll definitely use that to wind people up lol
Skill Boosters: use people first language when talking about individuals with disabilities. The language you use has a significant impact on the message: A number of times during this video you spoke of the "disabled person" - en.wikipedia.org/wiki/People-first_language
sandy neyhart uh, no. Every single one of my disabled friends, and myself prefer identity first language. We know we are people, if other people don't know we are people, therein lies the problem. Many of us are proud disabled folk.
Please don't lean down to talk to me just because I'm in a wheelchair. I'm short so even if I was standing I'd have to look up most likely. Stand normally, talk in a normal voice and normal tone. And for the love of all that's good don't talk to me like I'm a baby and don't talk to the person I'm with about me. If you want to know anything about me ask me. Please ask the disabled person what they need if anything and if they say no thank’ you to help then accept that. We know if we need help or not.
I'm surprised by the response of people in wheelchairs in these comments. The friends I have in wheelchairs appreciate when I go to their eye level Its easier for us to make eye contact, hear each other in a crowded party, and reasons like the video explains. If its for a quick hello, I don't do it for only 3 seconds. That is perhaps unnecessary.
macdog14 just because you know some ONE in a wheelchair doesn't mean you know EVERY ONE in a chair. like "able bodied" people we are different and I dividual too. I have yet to meet ANYONE in a chair who Doesn't find the bending over thing offensive and your friend would honestly be the first ive ever heard of not being angered by this. maybe your friends are just being POLITE in not TELLING YOU how rude you're being,did that ever occur to you.
It's an awkward thing to do, unless the wheelchair user has asked you to come down to their level or something. People usually don't suddenly want someone in their personal space.
Wheelchair users do not all feel the same way about things. Judging from comments I've seen on these kinds of threads, more wheelchair users seem to dislike it when people crouch. If I see you doing that, I'll ask if it's comfortable and tell you don't do it for me, only do it if you want to. I don't care how tall you are and I am not thinking at all about what levels we are on.
Well I am a wheelchair user myself and I have many friends who are in wheelchairs and we all hate the crouching thing. Believe it or not all wheelchair users have different opinions and from talking to a variety of people your friend's opinion seems to be the minority. If you are in doubt just ask the person what they would like you to do
I disagree with a person sitting to talk to me. I actually find it more disrespectful if a person dragged a chair to sit next to me or even knelt when there was no chair around.
I mean it's really pretty basic stuff, in my opinion. I would say "common sense" but these days, more like UNcommon sense. Lol. But also, I don't think I'm hard to get along with and I understand sometimes the words don't sound the way we want. I have an awful habit of ..... it's that "open mouth insert foot" syndrome. Sheeesh, And I have a few friends who have loved ones that were um.. killed. As in murdered (this is never a simple topic no matter how it comes up) and I could just DIE when I say... see I just did it. When I'm putting emphasis on an emotion like mainly embarrassment/humiliation I have a bad habit of saying, "I could've just died I was so embarrassed." Omg. And I kick myself in the ass, (I would if I could at least) every time I do it. And knowing this is an issue I try so hard to make a point NOT TO say anything about...IT, the harder I try the more I DO IT. LOSE LOSE situation. You know what I decided finally? I decided to STHU, the less I speak THE BETTER. So then there's no lil mistakes to feel awful abt. Problem solved. And then I end up on TH-cam comment sections. Where some people thrive on being verbally abusive to people they know nothing about. Hmmmm. Oh well, I'd choose that over hurting a friends feelings, anytime. People really should be more careful with their words, I'm no exception. We don't know what tomorrow holds. Hurtful words....hurt. I don't want to be remembered that way. Thanks btw, I'm all caught up now. Lol.
i got Dyspraxia things what people have said to me 1 is that your phone 2 who phone is that 3 where is your carer 4 do you mean dyslexia 5 can i catch Dyspraxia 6 do you have Dyspraxia all the time or dos it go away sometimes please look Dyspraxia up please do it reel do it
I was at a restaurant once with a quadriplegic coworker and friend. When the waitress came to take our order she said, "What will he have?"I said, "Better ask him. He's leaving the tip."
please people DO NOT TAKE THE ADVICE IN THIS VIDEO about "bending down to speak to a wheelchair user" as "they don't like u being taller than them" what a JOKE. I'm in a chair and HATE IT WHEN people bend down to speak at me nothing is more patronising insulting or offensive. worse advice I've EVER HEARD
The dog point tipped the scales to asinine with this top 5 list for me... My mom is disabled and has a guide dog. Dogs often get seen first, as they stand out from all the non-dogs (people). Sure, pitch a fit because someone noticed your dog first. Or, let your dog break the ice and enjoy a conversation that might not have started save for the dog being with you... (snowflakes these days)
I'm a wheel chair user and I agree with the kneeling thing I thought I was the only one cuz I have heard people getting mad over it but I don't see why cuz of the points made in the video
the make up chair I find it really patronising, I can see the points made in the video and why it might work for some but in my opinion, it’s degrading and condescending so telling people that people won’t find it condescending is an absolute lie on the videos part. It definitely is personal preference but I don't think that there's an ABC guide to disability etiquette and I hate videos like this that try to make out like there is.
As someone with arthritis, I'm fed up with people inside and outside the workplace thinking I'm not disabled and how they are more important than I am, or try to use their own disability to trump mine
I absolutely could not disagree more strongly with Point 4 more and frankly I am very angry that you would say this as fact. I’m in a wheelchair and I absolutely hate it when people kneel down to talk to me.
يجب على جميع قادة العالم البارزين تعزيز حقوق الأشخاص ذوي الإعاقة أو ذوي الإعاقة الذين يحتاجون إلى رعاية مستمرة أو في أي وقت من مؤتمر نزع السلاح في كينيا نيروبي 2 ؛ 15 مساءً
One of these should be using the term "dealing with"
Yes, I was just going to say that and then I read your comment. "Dealing with". How nice of people that they can learn how to "Deal with" me. Right away I imagine someone letting out a big sigh because they have to "Deal with" a person with a disability. Wow, don't let us put you out. I don't want to bother you and make you have to "Deal with" me. Geez. Why do you think people with disabilities refuse help.
In my opnion we all have to deal with people everyday, disabled or not, thats normal. I don't think its rude, but if it seems rude to you, okay.
You disabled folx are too sensitive and difficult.
Yeah for real. Smh
I’m a wheelchair user and the most patronising thing is when someone kneels down to talk to you and then leans on your chair to help them stand up. DON’T do either of these things. If you are in a seated area sit down if not stand back a bit so I don’t get a sore neck. Respect personal boundaries and space.
OMG! Yes, do not put your hands on my chair! That is the worst.
Or when they sit right next to you because another chair is there while your eating because they want to "help" but all they are really doing is take a break
Regarding comment #4: Being a wheelchair user, myself. I personally, hate it when a person feels they need to crouch down to my level, in order to talk to me. I realize, it is not the same for others. Just talk to me, the way you would talk to anyone else. Just my one cent worth! :) :)
yep me too.. i just commented on that..
Yes me too. I find it very condescending
I don't mind when people do that because i am short but what really makes me mad is when someone talks to me like i am a baby when i am a teenager and able to hear
Or when they yell like you're deaf. Dude, just because I am sitting in a chair with wheels doesn't mean my ears are going to stop working. And the worst of all, is when they feel obliged to pat me on my head. The last person that did that regretted it.
This was honestly the one I was thinking "I'm sure this can't be right"
Thank you for clarifying not everyone would appreciate this
Don’t ever touch a service dog in general. It distracts them from being alert and doing their job.
Then the dog should be wearing a vest that clearly says "Please don't pet me, I am working" instead of having to field the question "can I pet him" all the time. Most people aren't going to assume it's a service dog in countries where dogs are mostly pets. Especially kids, they typically want to interact with new and friendly dogs. So, be a responsible service dog owner and put a vest on them.
Right. Unless you know the person. And that person is sitting down or safe in there home (even then make sure it's ok) DONT TOUCH THE DOG
I've actually heard that wheelchair users prefer that you stand up when talking to them. Kneeling down can make them feel inferior or like you're treating them as if they were a child, even when they could understand you perfectly well standing up. Of course everyone is different, it's important to be aware of.
When we think of “disabled Americans” we need to remember that it’s more than just a few people in wheelchairs. It’s a very large and diverse community of people, who nevertheless share many common experiences of having disabilities and coping with the often difficult place disabled people occupy in society
I never knelt down or bent over with my wheelchair bound friend
I am a wheelchair user. I hate people bending from the waist and sticking their face in mine like I’m a baby. I prefer people to stand far enough away so I can talk to them without a crick in my neck, or if there’s no room, to sit next to me, but without leaning on my chair. I hate people crouching next to me (their poor knees!) especially if they steady themselves on my chair. In fact touching the wheelchair is a bit like groping my body; don’t!
I love that most comments are from wheelchair users talking about not crouching! I totally agree, I hate when people think they have to come down to my level. 9/10 times it’s so they can talk to me like I’m a child, then when they find out I’m 18, they stand back up because they realize how ridiculous it is to do that.
Its really easy. Treat us like People, if we are struggling ask if we need help but also accept if we say no, don't just randomly push a wheelchair (ask! You wouldn't want to be suddenly carried by a stranger either), don't touch us without consent (basic knowledge) and don't talk to us like children and let us talk/communicate! Don't talk over us.
Oh and don't crouch down to a wheelchair user. Don't. Very awkward
I agree with all this!
When we think of “disabled Americans” we need to remember that it’s more than just a few people in wheelchairs. It’s a very large and diverse community of people, who nevertheless share many common experiences of having disabilities and coping with the often difficult place disabled people occupy in society
I feel like every able body person needs to be educated about disabilities
I HATE it when someone tries to "get down on my level." Stop crouching you're not a catcher behind home plate. I know you mean well but just stop.
Stooping to my level is patronizing. That's what you do to kids. I disapprove.
I work with people who have a wide variety of disabilities, and one of the first things you learn is never to crouch to speak to them. It is is usually interpreted as condescending and rude. If there's a chair available I'll sit, and if the person can't support their head I might make other adjustments to my positioning, but there's no way I'd crouch unless they ask me to.
ty!
Don't worry about it just do what you want to 👍
Jamie Maclean I would hate ppl to crouch, kneel or bend over me. Its rude.
Hannah Lyttle You couldn’t be more patronising if you tried! You are basically saying “It’s ok I know how to treat the disabled I’m experienced” as for your reference to “them” I suggest that you perceive “them” as different to yourself. As a wheelchair user myself your comment made me cringe with horror.
@@HighTen_Melanie I appreciated it. They were just countering an erroneous point in the video. It would have been wrong not to.
A few I would say is just because we don't look disabled doesn't mean that we aren't...also we live and enjoy life like anyone else just adjust our lives differently due to whatever disability we have.. don't be afraid to ask us questions..we are willing to share so others can get a better understanding.
Speak for yourself! It is rude to ask strangers personal questions and I resent the assumption that they think they can bypass this normal etiquette just because I'm visibly disabled. They are going to be sorry they asked. Real sorry. I can have quite the mouth of me and I will start with why did you feel free to ask a perfect stranger such a personal question? How they respond from there will result in how poorly that goes for them. But I will set them straight on their rude behavior.
People without disabilities don't realize that whatever jokes they make of us, that's going to be on them in the end. Due to my disability, people think they can say, ask or do whatever the hell they want to me and have no filters. People who do me unsolicited good deeds want me to think they're there for me if I need help. Well, they probably wonder why I don't thank them or turn to them for assistance ever again. That's because I've dealt with way too much of this bullshit over the years to want to forgive people who didn't know what they were doing or that it was wrong and I don't have time for it anymore. Life's too short to have ableism and prejudice define me or rule my world. Those people are just going to realize that whatever the hell they initially thought of me is way more true of them than me: such as not being able to do anything. They're just going to be frustrated, not with me but with themselves for their ineptitudes that they themselves never knew they had until they try to help when it's not needed. You have no idea how many people I've known over the years who I haven't spoken to in over a decade due to their insolence.
the last one was pretty funny with the girl saying " i knew i shouldn't have the last vodka" lol
That was a great one-liner! SAVAGE!!!!
Lol
At the beginning of this video, the mistake that man made was that he praised the woman in the wheelchair for driving.
Yup
if you see a disabled person and your first thought is how you can help them; you have made a mistake already
Richard Cheshire Wonderful point!
Bullshit... This is a perfect example of what I hate. Who gives a fuck what they think about you asking to help them? You are free to ask anyone in the world if they need your help, whether disabled or not. If they don't like it, they can go fuck themselves. You shouldn't ever have to be worried whether or not you offend somebody simply by asking them if they need help. Fuck that!! They won't put that shit on me.
@@MotoAtheist are you disabled? Because if you're not you really don't understand. I am blind myself and I would never like someone to say how can I help you. Or assume stuff what I can and cannot do. You do really offend them in tell them that they're helpless. And you're telling them go f*** a disabled person in the ass. Well I think you are disabled in the mind yourself
You both are fucking assholes if you can't allow people to assist you without being offended. If I see an elderly person walking toward a door, I rush up and open it for them. Same with somebody in a wheelchair or has any other issue. It's just one little thing out of their day, it wasn't meant to be a life altering gesture, just common fucking courtesy. I won't let stupid assholes like either of you prevent me assisting people whenever the fuck I choose.
@@BlazeDuskdreamer No, I'm not a sweet and loving caring individual when it comes to ignorant fucks who try and turn the tables on people. Try to fucking make me feel guilty for offering a bit of assistance. So.. yeah... FUCK YOU!
Too many people assume that since my legs don’t work my brain, hearing and arms don’t work either!
I'm a wheelchair user and think its creepy and weird when people come down to my level to speak to me. Just stay up there, its perfectly fine. But some wheelchair users like it, so you could ask if they want you to sit down or something.
+Lisa M It does depend on the person. I find asking is a better policy in the case of someone with a disability.
I always ask first, but when I was using one temporarily, it made it easier for me if someone sat down so I didn't have to look up at them all the time.
Same here✋✋✋✋
Do not Crouch down to a person on a wheelchair. it's rude.
so true, when I get that, I raise my wheelchair seat up to standing height and talk down to them, they don`t know what to do. :-)
@@peterbudgen195 Now I want one with the ability to do that!
What utter toss, I crouch down so I can speak eye to eye and to save them having to look up my nosed.
Some of the funniest dark humor jokes in the world came from a blind friend of mine. There was one time some kid wasn't in class and the teacher asked if anyone knew where he got off to. Cue blind friend wryly quipping, "well I didn't see him." The entire classroom died laughing.
Sorry this reply is late (well 3 years late) but bloody hell I can relate to this comment so much. I'm blind and one of my favourite things to do is joke about it. This one time I was in school and we had a power cut so all the lights went out, this one girl screamed "I can't see" and without thinking I shouted "neither can I" had everyone there laughing
@@mattinfullvision9598 yeah my older brother joke to my older sister, "you don't see me". He blind
@@mattinfullvision9598 😂😂😂😂😂
I’m a part time wheelchair user. If I’m talking with someone for a short time and they continue to stand, fine, though I won’t be able to make eye contact with them most of the time. If I’m talking with someone for more that a couple minutes (or they really want eye contact), I greatly appreciate it if they sit down. I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, a genetic connective tissue disorder, and looking up for more than 10 or 15 seconds is painful and often triggers migraines. I think it’s fine - great, even - if the person asks what I prefer (would it be more comfortable for you if I sat down). I was at a conference, using my chair, and a woman wanted to talk with me. It was very noisy so I couldn’t back away to reduce the strain on my neck. I asked her to sit down and she said she was fine. Well she was, but I wasn’t! I ended up with a migraine and I still had 1.5 hours to drive to get home.
I am disabled and I agree will all these comments. Please, do not ever, ever, ever talk to us like we are children or crouch in front of a weelchair user unless you tell them it is to help you hear them better. My darling husband hates it when people use the word disabled towards me. He is so adorable. I've gotten used to the word and it doesn't really affect me like it use to. I do think though, and this is why I like the comments here so much, that as disabled people, we also need to inform the non-disabled people. Sometimes it's down to miscommunication especially as even if we have the same kind of disability it affects people differently. To those who are not disabled and genuinely want to help: The best thing yo ucan do is ask if someone needs disability needs help and then how you can help. If they say no, then please do not insist. I promise if you do this the person will feel very respected and feel like you understand them.
I am a wheelchair user. Not sure I agree with How to talk to a person in a wheelchair lol. I mean if it's easier for the person and they want to get a chair that's great but please do not lean over like we are children lol. If a person is particularly tall I just back away a little instead of being so close.
exactly
I agree. I would actually rather them stand then get down to my level. (Only because most the time they do that, they’re talking to me like I’m a child)
hlo plz contact me 964697332
Living Able i give them a straight answer and ask what is your disability
very nice...I'm also physically fit.working as an IT Engineer. but want to marry with a disable girl.want to feel her life..can u help me..+919781870890
I have wheel chair and I hate the crouching thing
I don't care about it, If people want to crouch let them.
first of all why are u responding to this, second of all i find it very condescending when people crouch so don't speak for the group
SHRIKE GEMENI i just can not walk but i stand up for them they are shocked
i don't mind if people crouch down to my level as long as its not to close . im hard of hearing so it helps depending on situation . what i don't like is when they lean over me. i find that intimidating
I'm a wheelchair user and suddenly in the last few weeks I find I'm constantly being asked how I got to where I am - well, I didn't walk, don't you know cars can have hand controls fitted.
U know what annoying me, is that in high school a new teacher come in to deaf class and suddenly treat us like a kindergarten class. Like no stop, disabilities can be educated like other 'normal' kid. We just a little different and that okay.
Edit: she stop bothering (trying to fixed)me a year later.
sounds to me like this was all assumed by a non disabled person.. I hate it when ppl lean towards me when theyre talking..im not in a chair but am short to go with the disability.. also hate it when they yell..as im not deaf but could be if they kept that up... I tell directly that whatever it is that theyre doing and i dont like.. please stop.. they normally do :P
If you're not disabled how can we actually be sure.
In fact I am blind in some of these things I'd really much agree with like when there is a blind person never ever grab them from the arm. You asked them to grab you arm. And never first talked to the guy dog first talked to the owner first. So you find these people are right about those things.
My dad is disabled and he's my idol he has 2 jobs have met the president is a great guy and almost everyone in my country knows him it makes me mad when people look at him like he's an alien he's just like you but he walks differently
I agree with Diane as a 28 year old man with autism who by the way lives fully independently one of the hardest things of having a disability is being given accomodations for a different kind of disability then I have. Just like disabilites have spectrums so do accomodations. Accomodations for specific disabilities are appropriate while for other disabilities those same accomodations are not. And the unfortunate thing is people are so stuck believing the accomodations they give me are appropriate they percieve it as a threat when I tell them the accomodation they are giving me is for a different kind of disability then the kind I have when they should take it as a learning opportunity so they wont make that mistake again.
Personally, I consider myself physically challenged, NOT disabled or handicapped. I think the mere mention of the terms disabled and handicapped is part of the problem people like us have. I wish these latter terms would just go away!
personally as someone in a wheelchair, i look very similar to the women in 0:16 i am very short xP
i feel really uncomfortable when people Kneel down to talk to me,i don't know, it just feels so weird and Awkward and a little patronising, i know they don't mean it that way, but i am like man just talk to me like a normal person i can hear you just fine when you're standing up -_-
it is something that always bothered me =/
P.S. Sorry For My Bad English.
Well, man why you don't just tell them that you don't like it?
usually people do it mid conversation, so it is very Awkward
and when i do tell them people take it the wrong way =/
are you in a wheelchair too?
+reemCGR Well, not but I have plans of creating company that will create software and technologies for people with disabilitires, because I believe that we are here not just to get but also to give and I believe that I can contribute to the future world which will give equal opportunities to all people. If that make sense) What is your name?
omg! wow that's so honorable of you, i wasn't expecting such a response =P
the world needs more people like you :)
My name is Reem.
I totally understand! BTW she was a total hoot - I loved her snappy come back!
Also, don't ever touch our mobility aides without our consent. When we tell you no, we mean no
Most people with a disability tend to have a good sense of humour,will usually bounce off your misunderstanding with a cocky joke as shown with the shorter woman in this video. # Awesome comeback (nah I had my car shrunk lol Respect!
I went to the optician in my wheelchair and the receptionist told me to take a seat !
The kneeling one is personal. Some do and don’t mind you kneeling. I personally would like you to ask can you kneel or I ask do you mind kneeling so I can have an easier time hearing.
As a totally blind person, I hate when people yell at me when I can hear them real close to me. I also hate when people grab me without asking me if I need assistance!
Love the one liner digs the people dealing with disability put out! 😂
I'm not blind or in a wheelchair but it still bothers me all the helpful behaviors these people receive. It's disorienting for a blind person to be grabbed by the arm and pulled, and it's alarming for a wheelchair user to pushed in a direction they don't want to go. Or for buildings to be inaccessible for a wheelchair user. It still bothers me what I read.
Treat the person as a human being.
Great Diane I agree , some people seem to talk in a really patronising manner or ignore me or i got called names I have a learning dsiability also I get stared at
"yeah, I had my car shrunk to fit" I'm dying haha
I'm disabled with sacralagenesis a version of spinibifidia and I'm in a wheelchair and bending down to get to my eye level is very rude im independent and in wheelchair sports and people who are on top of me always make me nervous and mad I don't have a mental disability it's physically disabled. If ur in a wheelchair or crutches and people act like your stupid and have to baby talk you just tell them to back off I'd that doesn't work then just tell them how you feel, I was in school with an aide like that and I went nuts, so now im a independent student who gets around fine with no help. If you dedicate yourself you can be independent and achieve great things.
Each one of us is different. I applaud you for sharing some generalities, very well-done! And quite humorous! 💛
Playing with a service dog is not ok. They are working and if you acknowledge them, ask the owner first.
I'm a wheel chair user and the dumbest question that I got asked is one time is do I sleep in my chair
Auslly Love 1000 Yes I can relate to that! Someone asked me when I die will they burry my wheelchair with me. I replied only if they have an accessible grave. 😂
They totally will think you're being condescending
2:08 I've actually heard that trying "to get down to a similar level" is wrong.
That last one must have hurt! :O
Hey you single text me (607) 225-3283
We’re all diffrent get over it people who are mean to these lovely humans!
They at just born diffrent and are special so I love them for what they r not what they want to be
As a wheelchair user, I find it incredibly patronising when someone bends down to talk to me and would much rather people just stood and addressed me like anyone able-bodied who is shorter than them. I genuinely don't mind looking up and will be more annoyed if someone bends down. I do like it if someone sits on a chair if possible though. Obviously it’s personal preference but most wheelchair users I‘ve met share my view.
I hope nobody follows this advice. I bet a large amount of money that the person who made this is able-bodied. It explains why a lot of the trained carers I've had have been so patronising!
Being an older woman who's physically challenged ( walks using crutches) if I had to give anyone advice on what to do when they see a disabled person I would honestly say 1 don't point ,2 don't stare & 3 ( if we're in a wheelchair or in my case walk using crutches) please don't ask us how we ended up in that situation ( because it's none of your business)
I do not use a wheelchair, but I use a walker. When people are friendly and helpful, I appreciate their effort. I am never rude to them, EVER. Often, it is the disabled person that needs to learn how to communicate effectively with an able-bodied person. I was taught, when I was very young, that my personal challenges are never an excuse for being a jerk. Not all sarcasm is rude, but sometimes it is hurtful. If someone grabs me, trying to help, I kindly say, “Thank you for your help, but it works better for me if I take your arm”. Most disabled people are kind, considerate people, but a few give the rest of us a bad name. Two wrongs don’t make a right!
Word of advice to any disabled people who are condescended to-
The best way I deal with it is to do it back. I was in a coma when I was a kid, now I have short term memory loss, sensitivity to loud noises, etc. Usually, when someone is condescending, I say something to the effect of- “So, I don’t expect you to get it, but, speaking in such a condescending way is not a good way to address disabled people. Frankly, it’s not a good way to address anyone, other than maybe a dog. Again, I don’t expect YOU to get it or to do the right thing.” or something like that. It’s SO SATISFYING watching them squirm. LOL
This is DEFINITELY NOT the nature way to handle the situation, but, it’s worked for me every time. LOL
Whoever shouted at hearing impaired person should go to hell
And the blind! Why in hell do they shout at the blind? I used to commute with a blind friend on the bus and people shouting at him? Then assuming he was my husband and asking all kinds of questions - super personal. Stuff I didn't and shouldn't know as just his friend. Why do people feel free to question the disabled and their people?
Thank you for teaching us.
Good advice but worth remembering that people will look twice & that is just a survival instinct inherited in our genes. Also, being rude when offered help does alienate people. I once offered help to someone who couldn't reach across a wide shelf. Her reply was so positive but she did comment that no-one had ever offered to help her before.
I have Asperger Syndrome and so many people I've known over the years always want to help but don't know what they're doing. Here are some examples of helpful behaviors people have used that I've found quite offensive: giving unsolicited advice and making inappropriate comments or suggestions, asking inappropriate personal questions, hovering over me, following me around and invading my personal space, helping without asking, offering to help and nagging me to take it, attempting to take over out of fear something's not going to work out or I seem to be struggling, helping me out of pity, or trying to comfort me every time I make a mistake. It's all these helpful behaviors that people don't realize aren't helpful. I've experienced these behaviors many times over the years and it's rude, insulting, and annoying.
This is a superior video and a good training one for the public so that this way, the people with disabilites can be treated equal. But sadly, there are those who think that discrimination is cool and they know it's stupid and it's wrong. I had to block someone for making a comment I didn't like and it was a political one. Career politicians are known for mocking the handicapped. A good reliable politician that really cares would not mock a handicapped person. Yes my blocking makes it look though that i am from the big corporate world.
I totally disagree with this comment, Disabled People are just that and want treating like one. Trust me if I need help I WILL ask.
One from a wheelchair user: a public building will usually have several doors in a line for able-bodied people to open and walk through, and one electric door meant for disabled persons to use by pressing a button.
So, WHY is it that able-bodied people have to use the one and only door I don't have to manually open myself?
Able-bodied persons rudely dismiss, disregard, and disrupt my attempt to go through the only entrance or exit I'm able to use, while they jump ahead of me to enter or exit.
Several people have even had the temerity to WAIT for me to clear the electric door, ignoring the fact that another door is RIGHT THERE next to it for them to walk through. All they need to do is PUSH IT OPEN AND GO.
Society can be stupid and crazy and lazy. The next time someone does that to me, I'm gonna wheel right over their toes. } (
Recently I was go to a fast food restaurant this person in a wheelchair didn't ask me to get them a cup of water they told me to get them a cup, how rude!!!
Please treat us like you would anyone else. We live just as independently as anyone else
I have Asperger Syndrome and #5 always gets me the most. Everyone wants to help me and think they know what I need, want, or ought to believe or have. They think they know what's best for me and either catch me off guard and assist without asking, or force their help upon me after I've already said no. It's having people do things for me as if I can't do anything myself, helping without asking, taking over during times of difficulty, focusing all their attention on me, subjecting me to everyone else's attention, talking for me, hovering over me, staring at me, setting goals for me to accomplish, giving unsolicited advice, asking me personal questions or giving personal details of me to others that's contributed to my frustrations the most. Overall, it's when people give me all the attention and do all the work for me thinking that they're helping me that bothers me the most. It used to be a serious problem for me when I was still a kid. It still happens to me today as an adult occasionally but not as often as when I was younger.
This is something that really stung me last summer. I was shopping at a grocery store where I used to work one afternoon while I was unemployed. I got fired from an organization that helps adults with disabilities be more independent in their homes for a mistake I made where I was expected to know a procedure but was never taught or walked through. I told my cashier who was one of my previous co-workers when I was still there about my story that I was terminated. She called customer service and told them my news without asking. I wasn't okay with that and would have requested that she don't tell my story, especially right in front me, even if she had asked for permission. Although this was last summer and it's now almost next summer, I'm still mad at her. That was so rude and unprofessional. I'm doing the best I can to get through life, and I admit that certain things are hard for me to do, accept, or go through, but I don't want anyone's attention!
It's all those things that go on in my world where people concern themselves. They want to help out, take over, and solve my problems. I can understand that they mean well but they don't realize they're not being helpful and their efforts just upset me rather than help me. Because if I can do something myself, even if it's hard for me or takes longer than most people can typically do it, then why would I want you to do it for me? And who said anything about me needing help? Certainly not me, so therefore nobody said it. But yeah, #5 always gets me the most.
This video is too funny I see these so often when hanging out with my friend with CP
See, the problem with this video, and much of the advice here, is that it makes a lot of assumptions. You really want to interact better with disabled people? Just fucking ask them. They're all individual people, and they all have their own opinions. Kneeling down might make one wheelchair user feel more comfortable, while it may offend another. The main point here is to just not make assumptions. That goes for everyone, disabled or not. If we were just a little better at communicating, we all might not hate each other right now.
On number two I can say that the louder someone speaks (or yell) the more sounds will come out in the discant spectrum wish i have harder to hear, ^^
Would it be nice, unnecessary, or rude to randomly go up to one and ask if they need help with anything?
D A S H Vector that's absolutely fine but if they say no please don't be like most people and try to help anyway, that's one of my biggest pet peeves and it doesn't really help most of the time either
Definitely unnecessary, we will ask if need help. If you were waiting outside a shop and people kept coming up to you and asking if you needed help, you would think they were mad. At the 100th ask, you would throw something heavy at their heads!
D A S H Vector ... no that is fine but if the person says "no thanks" forcing the issue is what is not fine. we appreciate people offering help when they see us struggling but ASKING what you can do to help is ALWAYS advised instead of just "mucking in" without checking first. and as long as u follow instructions as to HOW to give that help there is nothing wrong with offering help. I sometimes wish more people would lol.
in college I had someone call campus security after telling them no, i don't need help.
I think its same as anyone ells, if it looks like they need help ask but don't insist, if not don't bother them probably gets exhausting if every ones asking if you need help
I also do not like it if a person bends, crouches or kneels to talk to me (I know some wheelchair users prefer it). If there is a chair around, you could pull up a chair for a talk. However, if you are crouching in front of me I will probably ask if you if it's uncomfortable and tell you I don't mind if you stand. I'm not thinking about how we are on different levels, I don't think you're being condescending by standing, and I don't feel intimidated by someone standing next to me no matter now tall you are. I am not craning my neck. Crouching or kneeling in front of me just feels strange and awkward to me. Also, never grab someone's wheelchair and start pushing without asking! This happens to me a lot.
When we think of “disabled Americans” we need to remember that it’s more than just a few people in wheelchairs. It’s a very large and diverse community of people, who nevertheless share many common experiences of having disabilities and coping with the often difficult place disabled people occupy in society
I thought bending down to their level to talk with a wheelchair user was disrespectful and condescending I had a few friends who were in wheelchairs and I'd always talk to them when i was standing up straight it wasn't a problem
Yeah. Thanks. Nice tips. 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
OmG SO SORRY Just wanna guide and help NEVER humiliate or downcast
I have a physical disability and I sometimes have the feeling it is confused for a mental disability?....Or perhaps I do have both and don't quite get it?
Metro mobility driver I had this done to me and ihad that it done by the driver grabbed me by the arm. It scared 😨me and now I had it done in Dec 2021 and I was scared of how much it would cost to go through it again and then I told metro mobility about it too.
Disagree with #4. I do find it condescending if they stoop to talk to me. Now if you're talking for an extended length of time, well, yes, be able bodied people don't generally just stand for long periods of time either. But a few minutes - no, don't stoop to talk to me. #5 is a pet peeve of mine. I actually hate people running to hold the door for me because 9/10 they just wind up blocking my way. Let me amend that, I hate when they do it incorrectly. Hold the door from behind, not in front. If you have to block the doorway to hold the door for someone, you're creating more problems for their ability to get through it than you're solving.
Blaze Duskdreamer argh this happens to me all the time! Soo annoying!
Good thing for Physical handicapped transportation and parking
Don't assume because we have color in our hair a tattoo and lipgloss on that we are happy. We are in pain we are trying to be like you! And not be judged!
Haha omg made my day! I loved the last ladies response, had to rewind it and am defo guna use that one on the next persons foot I run over XD
Love This
1:47 that’s amazing.
It’s actually pretty rude to interact with a service dog or even ask to interact with it. If the owner volunteers it then go for it, but speaking to a person with a disability then giving their dog a pat will often offend because the dog is working and distracting it undermines the purpose of the dog in the first place. Some people don’t mind at all, but I’d still suggest waiting for them to volunteer their dog first.
Disabled people obviously need a good bidet, but of which type?
1. Obsolete STANDALONE bidet: cons: Should use hands either to clean your bum, or the basin from the residuals. Waking around with cloths down, cleaning the tiles. So awkward sitting. Space and time spending. HYGIENE problems. You have to clean the sink after and there are HYGIENIC DANGERS..
2. HAND HELD bidet: Could wet cloths and around place. Spends much water. Could push filthy water to genitalia. It needs you to be versatile. It could traumatize testicles. It could leak.
3. With OBLIQUE jet more or less, add-on bidet types: It is not so effective, especially if there are hemorrhoids and we know that almost every person has got them. It can push dirty water to near genitalia and cause UT, because of wrong jet direction. The water jet should direct front to back. It could wet cloths and spend too much of water. Some are too expensive, complicated and needing frequent service.
“Any discussion about, how a bidet works, wipe-wash, comparing bidet types, sanitation in private and public or hospital toilets, comfort, easiness in use, warm - cold water use, effectiveness, time spending in toilet, hand involvement, wet wipes, cost, etc, now with the appearance in market of the revolutionary KO BIDET, with its VERTICAL or front to back directed water jet, had become, if KO BIDET is not taken in account, irrelevant and out of date”.
Happy to supply any relative information. www. zikonto@hotmil.com
Guilty of #1 and 3
i am not disabled
but something feels missing inside me
Woman "what's his name?"
Blind man "fang ... only joking it's Malcolm really".
I'm blind myself and hoping to get a guide dog, I'll definitely use that to wind people up lol
I guess this was made by an able bodied person!
I still hate dissability
I honestly don't care as a wheelchair user myself if a non wheelchair user talks to me while standing up so I honestly disagree with number 4
Skill Boosters: use people first language when talking about individuals with disabilities. The language you use has a significant impact on the message: A number of times during this video you spoke of the "disabled person" - en.wikipedia.org/wiki/People-first_language
sandy neyhart uh, no. Every single one of my disabled friends, and myself prefer identity first language. We know we are people, if other people don't know we are people, therein lies the problem. Many of us are proud disabled folk.
Please don't lean down to talk to me just because I'm in a wheelchair. I'm short so even if I was standing I'd have to look up most likely. Stand normally, talk in a normal voice and normal tone. And for the love of all that's good don't talk to me like I'm a baby and don't talk to the person I'm with about me. If you want to know anything about me ask me. Please ask the disabled person what they need if anything and if they say no thank’ you to help then accept that. We know if we need help or not.
I'm surprised by the response of people in wheelchairs in these comments. The friends I have in wheelchairs appreciate when I go to their eye level Its easier for us to make eye contact, hear each other in a crowded party, and reasons like the video explains. If its for a quick hello, I don't do it for only 3 seconds. That is perhaps unnecessary.
macdog14 just because you know some ONE in a wheelchair doesn't mean you know EVERY ONE in a chair. like "able bodied" people we are different and I dividual too. I have yet to meet ANYONE in a chair who Doesn't find the bending over thing offensive and your friend would honestly be the first ive ever heard of not being angered by this. maybe your friends are just being POLITE in not TELLING YOU how rude you're being,did that ever occur to you.
It's an awkward thing to do, unless the wheelchair user has asked you to come down to their level or something. People usually don't suddenly want someone in their personal space.
Wheelchair users do not all feel the same way about things. Judging from comments I've seen on these kinds of threads, more wheelchair users seem to dislike it when people crouch. If I see you doing that, I'll ask if it's comfortable and tell you don't do it for me, only do it if you want to. I don't care how tall you are and I am not thinking at all about what levels we are on.
Well I am a wheelchair user myself and I have many friends who are in wheelchairs and we all hate the crouching thing. Believe it or not all wheelchair users have different opinions and from talking to a variety of people your friend's opinion seems to be the minority. If you are in doubt just ask the person what they would like you to do
I disagree with a person sitting to talk to me. I actually find it more disrespectful if a person dragged a chair to sit next to me or even knelt when there was no chair around.
I mean it's really pretty basic stuff, in my opinion. I would say "common sense" but these days, more like UNcommon sense. Lol. But also, I don't think I'm hard to get along with and I understand sometimes the words don't sound the way we want. I have an awful habit of ..... it's that "open mouth insert foot" syndrome. Sheeesh, And I have a few friends who have loved ones that were um.. killed. As in murdered (this is never a simple topic no matter how it comes up) and I could just DIE when I say... see I just did it. When I'm putting emphasis on an emotion like mainly embarrassment/humiliation I have a bad habit of saying, "I could've just died I was so embarrassed." Omg. And I kick myself in the ass, (I would if I could at least) every time I do it. And knowing this is an issue I try so hard to make a point NOT TO say anything about...IT, the harder I try the more I DO IT. LOSE LOSE situation. You know what I decided finally? I decided to STHU, the less I speak THE BETTER. So then there's no lil mistakes to feel awful abt. Problem solved. And then I end up on TH-cam comment sections. Where some people thrive on being verbally abusive to people they know nothing about. Hmmmm. Oh well, I'd choose that over hurting a friends feelings, anytime. People really should be more careful with their words, I'm no exception. We don't know what tomorrow holds. Hurtful words....hurt. I don't want to be remembered that way. Thanks btw, I'm all caught up now. Lol.
Okay that made me laugh because I know how it is. I have ran over so many feet because they open the door for me and they don't move out of the way...
My sister is deaf and she asks you to shout when talking to her so everyone is different
Who else keeps getting the shooty pollutey add or something
i got Dyspraxia things what people have said to me 1 is that your phone 2 who phone is that 3 where is your carer 4 do you mean dyslexia 5 can i catch Dyspraxia 6 do you have Dyspraxia all the time or dos it go away sometimes please look Dyspraxia up please do it reel do it
I was at a restaurant once with a quadriplegic coworker and friend. When the waitress came to take our order she said, "What will he have?"I said, "Better ask him. He's leaving the tip."
please people DO NOT TAKE THE ADVICE IN THIS VIDEO about "bending down to speak to a wheelchair user" as "they don't like u being taller than them" what a JOKE. I'm in a chair and HATE IT WHEN people bend down to speak at me nothing is more patronising insulting or offensive. worse advice I've EVER HEARD
Thank you for this. I use my channel to try to help others w/invisible disabilities. Every little bit helps, knock on wood.
Extremely good advice! A wheelchair user
Lonn Hoffman really? I'm a wheelchair user too and I hated the advice. I guess it's all down to personal preference
The dog point tipped the scales to asinine with this top 5 list for me...
My mom is disabled and has a guide dog. Dogs often get seen first, as they stand out from all the non-dogs (people). Sure, pitch a fit because someone noticed your dog first. Or, let your dog break the ice and enjoy a conversation that might not have started save for the dog being with you... (snowflakes these days)
I'm a wheel chair user and I agree with the kneeling thing I thought I was the only one cuz I have heard people getting mad over it but I don't see why cuz of the points made in the video
the make up chair I find it really patronising, I can see the points made in the video and why it might work for some but in my opinion, it’s degrading and condescending so telling people that people won’t find it condescending is an absolute lie on the videos part. It definitely is personal preference but I don't think that there's an ABC guide to disability etiquette and I hate videos like this that try to make out like there is.
As someone with arthritis, I'm fed up with people inside and outside the workplace thinking I'm not disabled and how they are more important than I am, or try to use their own disability to trump mine
I absolutely could not disagree more strongly with Point 4 more and frankly I am very angry that you would say this as fact. I’m in a wheelchair and I absolutely hate it when people kneel down to talk to me.
#6 don’t ask if the have turbo boosters
يجب على جميع قادة العالم البارزين تعزيز حقوق الأشخاص ذوي الإعاقة أو ذوي الإعاقة الذين يحتاجون إلى رعاية مستمرة أو في أي وقت من مؤتمر نزع السلاح في كينيا نيروبي 2 ؛ 15 مساءً