level up your life by gatekeeping
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 ต.ค. 2024
- Where my gatekeepers at? Did I miss anything?
Also, is being mysterious even a thing nowadays in 2024 and beyond?
Let me know your thoughts and meet me in the comments ;)
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gatekeep your romantic relationship
OMG HOW DID I FORGET THIS?!
Yesss. This one is MAJOR!!
It’s definitely not elitist! Especially as Black women, we should 100% should be gatekeeping 👏🏾
Historically, almost everything we share about gets hijacked and repackaged without our interests at heart. So yeah, a little gatekeeping won’t hurt nobody.
We need private spaces again.
After everything I've been through from oversharing, I will be the biggest gatekeeper. I'm going to glow up from the floor up, and my secrets are staying safe with me.
Locked and shut! 🔒
As you should!!! Purrrr I feel you girl!
Girl! We need to bring back gatekeeping, shame, decorum, minding your business and silence. I'm so over it. I also agree with you about everyone looking, smelling, talking, behaving the same🙃 it's like people are afraid to be themselves and its quite sad. Even here on TH-cam, everything is an "aesthetic". I wish more people would tune into authentic content, like yours for example.
Yeah I think there can be a bit of a balance since I’ve learned a lot from people who didn’t gatekeep online. However it’s too homogeneous in this internet streets!!!
Thanks for watching, sharing your insight and support, my sistren. ☺️🫶🏾
@@EvieAswiti No problem sis!🫶🏾
On people smelling the same, I am tiredddd of smelling vanilla on everyone i meet
I used to loove vanilla,then I started smelling it on every woman I walked past. I no longer like it now
I honestly love telling ppl where I get some of clothes, makeup, and basic essential clothing from. But I do agree with gatekeeping, especially things that are not materials like family, romantic partners, goals, etc.
Yeah, those things I'm naturally a sharer too.
I can certainly say this is a GREAT video and point of view.. As a already private person I like the fact that I keep people wondering... I gate keep my marriage, my kids, and personal business. Social media has made it so easy for everyone to OVERSHARE everything and it has just become a toxic digital space. Now I will say if someone ask me about Affordable housing, credit building, and resources that will allow them to become self sufficient I am all about OVERSHARING in that department because I want to see people thrive. I know what is like to experience hardship and no one help me at all. therefore I always made it my purpose to arm myself with Knowledge so I can share and help others.
This I am here for!!!! Thank you for watching love 💕
@@EvieAswiti Absolutely ! I think we need to overshare in helping other to self sufficiency which is PRICELESS. I always want people to remember how I made them feel. Seeing folks thrive is my passion . Now back to my private Life LOL
This also keeps the feminine essence and poise to not share everything. I loveeee this. Please make a part 2 ❤
Ohhhhh now cmon poise! 👏🏾 Haven’t heard that term in a while. What should my part 2 be about?
@@EvieAswiti I would love for you to talk about
1. gatekeeping your marriage/relationship especially to other friends who talk about theirs and make you feel weird for not sharing.
2. actually training yourself to speak less and listen more.
3. social media for people that are artists/creatives. I love sharing my artwork and don't post alot of pictures of myself which creates more allure but then I feel like I have so many beautiful photos that are in the archives. I feel like many people feel stuck in the middle like this.
@ya9321 Lovely suggestions - I’ll definitely keep them in mind. Thank you for requesting!
I agree with all the points listed, thank you for sharing this. I’ve been reevaluating a lot of things and working on not oversharing.
It can be so hard but it has many benefits!
While I agree with gatekeeping, I think the discussion at approx 7:12 could have a different perspective. Many people don’t have mums or big sisters who were present - some were present present but weren’t comfortable to share such information. Some didn’t know at all, therefore don’t teach. Women who put themselves out there to teach other women certain hygiene or femininity tips are meeting needs that are unmet for a wide audience. Hence, why a lot of these videos are popular. So, they act as that big sis or mom to many ladies. Nevertheless, this comes at a cost of having men watch too and this may be inappropriate.However, I believe the value and impact for the women who need to be taught these things is a benefit that far outweighs the other disadvantages.
I think the value of that feminine education is very paramount in a controlled setting especially for young girls and it being hands on. Especially through the non profit organizations doing it at scale. I personally won’t be going too deep into that on my channel for the reasons mentioned on my video, but definitely see your point.
@@EvieAswitiyeah, absolutely! Thank you for your response ❤
This is one of your best videos thus far!! You hit so many points. I get accused of being secretive but im private and learned to gatekeep early. I dont like discussing numbers, esp with men. Its weird and people start counting your money. Someone asked what I pay for rent last week and I replied “will you pay it if i tell you?” and left it there 😂. I def asked a girl if she was wearing bacarat last week cause i could smell it 😂. But I think thats a bit diff. I also agree with not sharing your goals etc. Alot of people project their insecurities on others. I told an ex friend last year about a major decision and things got really weird. Jealousy is real! You look so cute btw.
Thank you so so much! I wish I talked about discernment in this video bc that is really my driver for when I decide to gatekeep. You’re right, people DO project their insecurities and they get mad when you don’t receive it or can’t relate 😂 and honestly that’s simply how life goes! Appreciate the compliment and you watching and supporting!
I actually love this video. I cringe when ppl ask me how much my bag is:/ Sometimes it invites this judgement. Like oh that expensive and I could never pay that much. Women tend to be heavily judged on the things we have as if we need permission to spend our own money. I think gatekeeping has been associate to mean girl culture and that's why we feel the need to overshare.
Exactly! Some ppl ask where you got something from just to clock your pockets or to project themselves
I agree with all of this 100%
glad i’m not the only one
Man, I HATE getting ready when my partner is around. Like, I just wanna go about my business, shower how I shower, moisturize and do my makeup and get dressed without having to consider someone else's presence. That's why I kindaaa don't enjoy sleeping over at people's houses, I just like my space when I'm grooming, okay!
Lol!
yeeeeeeeeees girl. I recall growing up my mum would encourage my siblings and I to keep certain info private just out of decency....then social media happened. It totally influenced me in the opposite direction. But with age I'm seeing that sometimes I need to zip it! So now from watching this I think its time a girlie revamped her life and started gatekeeping. Thank You for the video.💐💐💐
You’re so welcome!!!
I think theres also a cultural component involved. Americans are honest and open and I love that about us but too much of anything can be harmful. This video reminded me of conversations I have had with my older cousins, aunts, and mom. As I get older I understand more and more. Even down to dating. Of course we dont gatekeep everything and like you mentioned with fragrances its the signature one your keeping to yourself. But ill def tell a girlie about my everyday normal scent. I also gatekeep what i do for a living to an extent. It gets tricky but there is a fine line between gatekeeping/privacy/secrecy etc. I think ive found it!!
Yesssss - it’s all about the ✨ balaaaaance ✨
im happy I found your channel!
I agree excluding the recipes.
Totally fair. Do you mind sharing with me your favorite garlic bread recipe? 🧄🥖
I don’t have one but if I did I wouldn’t mind sharing it. Im sure there are loads on Google.
This right here!!!! My daughter was talking to me about this just today. Valid points and I agree!
Yessss it was meant to be!!!
This video is right on time for me. Thank you for sharing 💕
you’re welcome doll ♥️
I agree with you 100%!!!
I’m in support of this message 🙌🏿
Appreciate you love 💗
If black women who knew how to do 4c hair gatekept the info...we would all still have breaking hair...and losing.
I think there’s a balance. I love that the natural community back then helped us, but then when we have our products, terms and formulas hijacked and marketed to other ppl while leaving us behind, then we complain. So there’s room for nuance there.
Go get the recipes from your own family
🤣🤣🤣🤭
There is so much power in privacy and our (American) culture has completely moved past this. I do want to say tho that a lot of things you mentioned to gatekeep are things that were passed down through families and community. However there are people who lack a mother to teach them about hygiene or a grandmother to pass down recipes, so they turn to online resources. I think overall people lack real life communities and social support so they try to “fit in” online.
I think if you’re truly in community with people, there shouldn’t really be a need to gatekeep. Gatekeeping with folks you’re in community with (and even folks you’re not) can keep people under subjugation (not to get all serious). Telling what you pay for Rent and other prices for goods - can allow people to see if they’re being taken advantage of. Some people didn’t have parents to teach them about grooming so telling them can help (even men). Men already don’t know enough about women, menstruation, and the things we go through as women. I think it can lead them to have compassion if they knew AND destigmatize the “grossness” associated with natural bodily functions. But like I said, people you are truly in community with. And hell, I consider myself to be in community with all Black women so if they ask “where’d you get that” “what are you wearing” “how much was this” “what menstrual products do you use and do they work for you” “how was your experience with this” - because those are my people and this hyper individualistic culture is literally killing us
I think it defiintely comes across selfish...keeping life private is fine but withholding info that can help others is a little insecure...
I think it’s discretion and is up to the person sharing. Just because I’ll choose to share some things, it doesn’t mean I’m beholden to share all things.
I get it. Everything is and everyone looks, acts, talks the same, it's really boring. Just everything seems oversaturated. Like what's next?😕
Certain people don't gatekeep and they are thriving in society and learning. Think about how much you don't know because no one bothers to tell you. Why would we want to do that to each other? Suppressing your community of knowledge is ridiculous and keeps certain people BEHIND in society.
Gm, this should be interesting ❤
ikr? 💕
❤❤❤
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