I would totally pay for and attend a HMAY retreat!!! I also think the book is an awesome idea Yvette. I’m laughing at Glen tossing the sandwich 🥪 on the plate 🤣. As always this was a great episode with great points.
I don't think women really dream about a guy unless they're single or questioning if they want to be single... Otherwise, we can look, appreciate, and move on 😂
I actually loved Glen's thinking process behind the scenario of Yvette telling him she's attracted to someone else if it were to be now. It shows a whole lot of maturity and being secure in yourself.
I’ve been in relationships where I’ve told the woman I’m with that I’m attracted to someone that’s not her and it’s always made it’s way through her psyche. If it’s one thing that I’ve learnt is to protect the hearts and minds of the woman I’m with, and in most cases that’s one of the things I do to protect them from drowning in their own thoughts
So this is just normal and to be expected for your partner to be attracted to someone else in your relationship? Marriage? I’m not saying that other people stop being beautiful/handsome but I just feel that attraction is deeper than just noticing someone’s beauty. And I’m genuinely asking lol, I am young and this is confusing to me.
Daughter of The King from what I understand about attraction for men is usually just physical...I guess some women too. It’s different than being interrelated in or liking. An attraction can pass if the person doesn’t act on it of course. So yeah I think it happens to ppl in a relationship but they just have to move on from it...
@@shalom4441-o6i I don't know if its normal (single as a pringle here) but I think a good sit down convo about what your partner defines as being "attracted to someone while in a relationship" can shed some light. If they define it as "I desire that person", I'd definitely raise some red flags compared to them considering someone else, their intellect or how they carry themselves as beautiful. I mean, I'll be asking questions either way but the first would hurt for suuurre
Yvonne Yukon I definitely agree. I see attraction as a desire for another person. It’s like you are being drawn to them and away from your significant other which personally I think is a red flag. In my relationship we have discussed that this is a no-no lol on both ends. We understand it’s normal to think people are beautiful/handsome because it’s a lie to say that God didn’t create many beautiful/handsome people. But as far as desiring that person we concluded that we wouldn’t be the one for each other if we felt the need to look elsewhere!
This episode really demonstrated to me, your vision of being the proof that "you can make a marriage work". It's wonderful how you are not always on the same page, but you give each other the space to be yourselves. Thank you!!
To me toxic has replaced abusive. At least in relationships. So my first marriage was abusive, I was abusive verbally. I would say things to get back at my spouse when I was angry simply because I was angry or insecure. Today they would use the buzz word toxic. And in my situation I would say it was both abusive and toxic. We would fight over the dumbest things and my lack of control with myself would create a toxic, hostile, abusive environment. So to me it's just replaced the word abusive.
If Glen is attracted to someone else ( and vice versa with Yvette) it DOES NOT mean you need to step anything up and vice versa! You both could be perfect and it would still happen. Physical and emotional attraction are normal biological responses. We will always find things we admire in and about others. Having the discipline not to act on or explore those naturally occurring feelings is what being in monogamous, sturdy, lifelong partnership is all about in my opinion. Ideally if a couple gets to the point where they can admit to each other who they find attractive, maybe it could be turned into something productive like "I find it attractive that such and such is organized, spontaneous, etc and then go from there knowing things that your partner finds attractive and perhaps do activities like that together? Great episode!!!!
Daaamn. Glen really is an ideal husband. I legit be on his side most of the time. That logic be coming in clutch when you take your feelings out of a situation. I find myself to have been alot like Yvette, but I'm slowly growing out of it because I am understanding the power of the perspective in Christ.
I thought the exact same thing. Yvette could make a really good therapist/counsellor! Glen would really be a good teacher as well! You guys are soo authentic and INSPIRING! Thank you guys so much for being real!
Glen you aren't weird at all, that's a very mature; realistic perspective to have. I think a lot relationships can benefits from each party adapting that mindset.
I love watching you all talk/work through things. One day Yvette is gonna grow to be so secure with who she is and what she brings and it's going to have us all shook!
I feel that Mrs. Melanin is saying how most women would feel if their partner says to them if they are attracted to someone else. Most of us would be like " He's attracted to this woman, what is it about me that is lacking that would make him feel that way." I think that's a natural reaction. There is this feeling of "Whoa, am I not enough?" Im not talking about in the cases of if you guys are out somewhere and someone walks by who is attractive.
I saw the notification and immediately clicked on this video. I'm happy that I signed up for Patreon. Side note: Am I the only one that be jamming to the intro rap? I be cooking eggs singing "It's chocolate baby story time" 😂🤦🏾♀️
this is so random but I just thought of a brilliant idea. please Yvette do the intro rap for us at least once!!!! it can't be more cringe than you tryna spit game 🤣 jk we love you
Yvette, tackling your insecurity is a personal journey, it has nothing to do with Glen. You have to find that security within yourself. Practicing self love and self worth 💛
The way I hollered at Yvette giving a man her number about a playdate! 🤣🤣 No lie, I could see myself doing something like that and riding in the car home wondering if that was the right move. The truth is, we're not always thinking about ourselves as Yvette the Wife or Glen the Father when we're interacting with other people in the world so it can innocently happen.
Glen is so right about his definition of toxicity. It’s self awareness and willingness to admit, heal and change. I also am an Educator and have been a follower of Beleaf in Fatherhood for awhile and have said numerous numerous numerous times that GLEN SHOULD BE AN EDUCATOR. Yes, he’s a great dad. But the patience and language he chooses to use are so important when creating a safe and consistent environment for children to thrive. Love yall and wish these episodes were still going! Yvette, Girl, I want you to be so confident in who you are and stop apologizing and looking for validation! You are everything! 💖
Glen you are not mean! You're logical, direct and honest. Very mature in fact. These people are just projecting all over you that's why they don't like you lool but some of us appreciate you and understand where you're coming from. You're not for the sensitive and that's okay. Y'all need to get out of your feelings okay
I find it interesting that Yvette’s seasons of life are mostly defined by what’s going on with her children. And that’s no shade. Just interesting. Love y’all ✊🏾❤️
To be in a toxic relationship would involve an unsupportive person who does not have your best interest at heart. A toxic person creates an unsafe environment and can have a negative influence on the other person.
Great conversation! Would have been interesting if you both explored what you each find attractive in other people. Then use those lenses to understand what areas within your relationship to build up and keep as much of the attraction within. Keep up the good work!
This episode made my heart so warm. To hear Glen offer Yvette a safe place to share was so sweet! The security is real. And even if she is not there yet to hear about possibilities of his attraction to someone else, I think him sharing how he reacts and would react is a place to start.
Your conversations challenge me so much on a mental level, I'm of the opinion that sometimes people romanticize so much about relationships that we honestly minus the work or effort that has to be present beyond point of courtship and on an individual level. I appreciate this platform so much.
Yvette...I'm already excited about your ideas! God, I ask that Your hands be upon Yvette's ideas, that all things will fall into place, that she would meet the right ppl at the right time and that Jesus will be glorified in all of it! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
It is honestly beautiful to see how you interact with one another. Thank you for sharing. Love the different persepctives. Hoping I can get to that mindset soon.
On the subject of not being able to apologize without "but", I HIGHLY recommend Brene Brown's podcast episode featuring Harriet Lerner : I’m Sorry: How To Apologize & Why It Matters. dropped some serious gems I sent it to my whole family. Also I think toxicity is failure to take accountability for your part and your wrong doing.
Stay guarded people, so many fallen people say, " next thing I knew we were ...", you know it happens mostly at work, that's where you put the most time in, or even places you frequent, a couple of kind interactions, & boom feelings begin to flow, so be sober everywhere.
@@HowMarriedAreYouPodcast I highly recommend it Yvette, you can send messages 1,3 and 5 years into the future and it will email you the message after that elapsed amount of time. I've made myself tear up a few times from the encouragement, hope and dreams sent to me by my past self. If you sign up for an account which I think should still be free you can look back on old messages once they've been sent.
Toxic arguments to me means argument without a purpose, mainly to disturb, disrupt, and to tear down. Not arguing to get to a conclusion or bring resolution, but to use the argument as a tool to lash out.
You guys are amazing! I love listening to the podcast. I also love Glen's vibe and the way he looks at Evette like truly how a man in love should look. You both are so blessed and super in love and that I can sense it through the screen. Keep it up!
@16:10 into the podcast, "whooh", I literally did that when "Beleaf" gave def of "toxic", yes I agree! The characteristic is pride, not willing to admit to wrong/apologize, and precede as if nothing is or went wrong, and we know what God thinks of pride and how He deals with it. Humility should be highly desired, pursued and maintained throughout this life's journey.... Back to podcast 🤩
I’m here for the book mrs wants to write. Looking back at this and how far she has come, I don’t read anymore but that would be my definite start to reading.
Toxicity: when one degrades, diminishes, abuses, or demonstrates behavior that is contrary for building up or edifying the other individual/situation. It promotes unhealthy atmospheres/environments. Toxicity can be in the moment or it can be an ongoing issue/behavior.
I would say it is a toxic fight if your partner is being disrespectful, if they are saying bad things to you and about you everytime you make a mistake. We all know how we feel after a fight, its never good, but you can not me distroyed, feeling bad about yourself every single time
Am I toxic? 😂 Yvette always opens the door for her to get offended. Honestly though thank you so much for taking the time to share these moments and conversations with us❤️
THERAPIST popped up in my mind immediately About Glenn. 😂 You guys compliment each other so much bc All careers you guys listed I can see both of y’all killing it in all the same fields ! 💪🏽
I really love these episodes- you guys are great to watch and listen to. I'd definitely be interested in a Mrs Melanin headwrap line :) Glen said 'love doesnt keep a man faithful.' I'd be super interested to hear what you both define love as. Had this debate with a friend of mine and I think my opinion was/is you can't define love without talking about action so love is more of a verb than a noun. So how would you define romantic love and maybe how would you distinguish that from a crush, infatuation or fling? Do you think it's possible for a committed spouse to fall in love with someone else based on your definition?
OMG Glen is so like my hubby. Am triggered but not in a bad way. Gosh this episode has me in my feels for sure. May need a part 2 of the attraction question.
The Gottman Institute does a great job of breaking down the difference between healthy conflict and toxic arguments. They identify unhealthy and toxic conflict in four traits that they call the four horsemen of conflict: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. If your conflict is consistently exhibiting any or all of the four, your arguments could be categorized as toxic. Also, I wish men would stop perpetuating this unfounded claim that *only* men are visual. People with eyes and sight are visual. Women are just as aesthetically aroused as men. 🙄
i know im super late. but being toxic is much deeper than being unsupportive but that's part of it. but to add to you guys, i would say being toxic is being unsupportive but wanting to be suported (narcissism is toxic)
I'd love for you guys to take the Myers-Brigg Personality Type Indicator if you haven't already. Glen's hypothetical reaction to Yvette's hypothetical attraction sounded like operating from a place of Ti logic. Glen, are you an INTP? And Yvette an ENFJ?
Glen that's what happen when you don't have game...You don't even recognize game and the next thing you know you're giving them your phone number. LOL!!! She's so sweet. I love you guys.
Toxic is not a cut and dry thing. There is depth to toxicity. Toxicity is not automatically equal to the end. It really means that work needs to be done. If we look at the physical environment, if something is toxic, at low levels the effects will be mild at higher levels the effects be greater. Also, different types of organisms can survive in different environments. You have to know who you are and do the work. I agree with Glen, where your children can be toxic but the effects that you face as a parent will not be as great because once you're a parent, you adopt parenthood. You know who you are in that role and you grow into it. In relationships with other adults, this becomes trickier. You have to know what your boundaries are, you can't just take it if it is not uplifting you. To really address the question, we need to know more information because I wonder if someone is holding on to being right or if someone is trying to blame the other person. Therapy for sure can help you think about your environment and the people in your life to address if it is toxic or normal.
I think it's toxic when you downplay someone else's contribution to something. As far as pretending to be ok with a situation and you're not depends on who you are dealing with. Some people can take you confronting the situation as being confrontational in a negative way so you'd rather avoid dealing with it and pray they see themselves. Arguing about the same thing over and over again is toxic because someone either need to come to terms with it or someone needs to change or both.
I feel that...not having your husband trying to keep you accountable with the things on your heart that you shared with him. My husband does that sometimes. I will tell him something and he will make it his responsibility to MAKE me get it done....uh...NO BRUH! I love him more than I love anyone else. He is my FAVORITE PERSON in the whole world...SO...I just tell him that I appreciate his support but I will go at my own pace. 🙂
Oohhh. I disagree about the 'lingering thoughts.' My husband and I had a beautiful morning and decided to go run some errands. During the time I was inside a facility and he hadn't yet come in, I saw a man I thought was incredibly attractive. I had my sunglasses on so I watched him discreetly for a few seconds. During that short amount of time, I wondered if I could see myself with him. Understand...this was a fleeting sentiment and I LOVE my husband, but it crossed my mind. I never considered cheating or leaving my current situation, but I am a human being, with thoughts and feelings...and the ability to make decisions. That is where I think the line gets drawn. One can think, wonder, ponder...and then come back to their senses. I am happy, yet I am human.
I wonder where I learned that “mind your marriage” ... I’ve definitely been living by that && spreading that gem around 🙌🏾 I also believe Marriage is what you make it. Ahh so many thoughts but once again grateful for this ❤️
Like Yvette I’m excited to be a grandma but I don’t think that beats my excitement for when I’m in my mid 40’s && all my kids are grown💃🏾😂 I promise I was just crying and telling my daughters this week about my biggest goal of being old and looking out to see the family tree , my husband and I created ..😭 then I can just roll over, close my eyes and finally be done with this world 😆
She kissed her teeth at Glen's How married are you story because she wanted to hear I am so married that I dont care about none of these other females! I kissed my teeth at the exact same time LOL
Men. REMEMBER THIS! You are not Glenn! You cannot call your wife STURDY😂😂😂. She will be triggered.
Yes it's not romantic at all...like buying her an electric saw as a Christmas gift 🎁 ...😆
That the Jamaican way of saying "she could take the storm"and the D lol lol
I still can't believe that he said that!!! CRINGEWORTHY!! I'm sure that she is still pissed.
💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
Can we get a "Mind Your Marriage" shirt?! Love that quote!
How Married Are You?! - YAYYY!!
💣
So we gonna be encouraging Yvette to get started on the book? Yes? Okay, great!
I would totally pay for and attend a HMAY retreat!!! I also think the book is an awesome idea Yvette. I’m laughing at Glen tossing the sandwich 🥪 on the plate 🤣. As always this was a great episode with great points.
I don't think women really dream about a guy unless they're single or questioning if they want to be single... Otherwise, we can look, appreciate, and move on 😂
So true!
Yep
Hmm.. lol
I actually loved Glen's thinking process behind the scenario of Yvette telling him she's attracted to someone else if it were to be now. It shows a whole lot of maturity and being secure in yourself.
As a content creator, I really love and respect how consistent you all have been with your posting! Great job.
Sometimes when I watch these , I’m just like man does Yvette realize how beautiful she really is.
I’ve been in relationships where I’ve told the woman I’m with that I’m attracted to someone that’s not her and it’s always made it’s way through her psyche. If it’s one thing that I’ve learnt is to protect the hearts and minds of the woman I’m with, and in most cases that’s one of the things I do to protect them from drowning in their own thoughts
So this is just normal and to be expected for your partner to be attracted to someone else in your relationship? Marriage? I’m not saying that other people stop being beautiful/handsome but I just feel that attraction is deeper than just noticing someone’s beauty. And I’m genuinely asking lol, I am young and this is confusing to me.
Daughter of The King from what I understand about attraction for men is usually just physical...I guess some women too. It’s different than being interrelated in or liking. An attraction can pass if the person doesn’t act on it of course. So yeah I think it happens to ppl in a relationship but they just have to move on from it...
@@shalom4441-o6i I don't know if its normal (single as a pringle here) but I think a good sit down convo about what your partner defines as being "attracted to someone while in a relationship" can shed some light. If they define it as "I desire that person", I'd definitely raise some red flags compared to them considering someone else, their intellect or how they carry themselves as beautiful. I mean, I'll be asking questions either way but the first would hurt for suuurre
Yvonne Yukon
I definitely agree. I see attraction as a desire for another person. It’s like you are being drawn to them and away from your significant other which personally I think is a red flag.
In my relationship we have discussed that this is a no-no lol on both ends. We understand it’s normal to think people are beautiful/handsome because it’s a lie to say that God didn’t create many beautiful/handsome people. But as far as desiring that person we concluded that we wouldn’t be the one for each other if we felt the need to look elsewhere!
😅😅😅
Glen @ 35 minutes: Men help me!!!
All the men in the wedding party: “ight imma head out...”
😂😂😂
Lol
This episode really demonstrated to me, your vision of being the proof that "you can make a marriage work". It's wonderful how you are not always on the same page, but you give each other the space to be yourselves. Thank you!!
To me toxic has replaced abusive. At least in relationships. So my first marriage was abusive, I was abusive verbally. I would say things to get back at my spouse when I was angry simply because I was angry or insecure. Today they would use the buzz word toxic. And in my situation I would say it was both abusive and toxic. We would fight over the dumbest things and my lack of control with myself would create a toxic, hostile, abusive environment. So to me it's just replaced the word abusive.
I think it’s so beautiful that they had the quarantine wedding for the kids 🥺❤️
I'm a Professor, and I agree Yvette, Glen would make the best Professor. Very relatable and down to earth.
@@HowMarriedAreYouPodcast 😭🤗
@@HowMarriedAreYouPodcast I would be the same....no paperwork please
Yeah. And the analogies he uses are so dope
If Glen is attracted to someone else ( and vice versa with Yvette) it DOES NOT mean you need to step anything up and vice versa! You both could be perfect and it would still happen. Physical and emotional attraction are normal biological responses. We will always find things we admire in and about others. Having the discipline not to act on or explore those naturally occurring feelings is what being in monogamous, sturdy, lifelong partnership is all about in my opinion. Ideally if a couple gets to the point where they can admit to each other who they find attractive, maybe it could be turned into something productive like "I find it attractive that such and such is organized, spontaneous, etc and then go from there knowing things that your partner finds attractive and perhaps do activities like that together? Great episode!!!!
Men and women's brains are so different. Men's: compartmentalized everything. Women: everything is interconnected.
“Trusting God goes way beyond attraction...” Trusting God for and in the marriage... This is Great...
Yvette's journal idea to her older self/younger self- so up for the idea i would be ready to pre-order 3 years in advance if need be
Daaamn. Glen really is an ideal husband. I legit be on his side most of the time. That logic be coming in clutch when you take your feelings out of a situation. I find myself to have been alot like Yvette, but I'm slowly growing out of it because I am understanding the power of the perspective in Christ.
Yvette~~ I’m so married I want to know whom you’re attracted to😂😌😌She tickles me.. Just good to listen to you two!!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I thought the exact same thing. Yvette could make a really good therapist/counsellor! Glen would really be a good teacher as well! You guys are soo authentic and INSPIRING! Thank you guys so much for being real!
Glen you aren't weird at all, that's a very mature; realistic perspective to have. I think a lot relationships can benefits from each party adapting that mindset.
I love watching you all talk/work through things. One day Yvette is gonna grow to be so secure with who she is and what she brings and it's going to have us all shook!
I feel that Mrs. Melanin is saying how most women would feel if their partner says to them if they are attracted to someone else. Most of us would be like " He's attracted to this woman, what is it about me that is lacking that would make him feel that way." I think that's a natural reaction. There is this feeling of "Whoa, am I not enough?" Im not talking about in the cases of if you guys are out somewhere and someone walks by who is attractive.
I saw the notification and immediately clicked on this video. I'm happy that I signed up for Patreon.
Side note: Am I the only one that be jamming to the intro rap? I be cooking eggs singing "It's chocolate baby story time" 😂🤦🏾♀️
this is so random but I just thought of a brilliant idea. please Yvette do the intro rap for us at least once!!!! it can't be more cringe than you tryna spit game 🤣 jk we love you
Yvette, tackling your insecurity is a personal journey, it has nothing to do with Glen. You have to find that security within yourself. Practicing self love and self worth 💛
The way I hollered at Yvette giving a man her number about a playdate! 🤣🤣
No lie, I could see myself doing something like that and riding in the car home wondering if that was the right move. The truth is, we're not always thinking about ourselves as Yvette the Wife or Glen the Father when we're interacting with other people in the world so it can innocently happen.
so true.
Glen is so right about his definition of toxicity. It’s self awareness and willingness to admit, heal and change. I also am an Educator and have been a follower of Beleaf in Fatherhood for awhile and have said numerous numerous numerous times that GLEN SHOULD BE AN EDUCATOR. Yes, he’s a great dad. But the patience and language he chooses to use are so important when creating a safe and consistent environment for children to thrive. Love yall and wish these episodes were still going! Yvette, Girl, I want you to be so confident in who you are and stop apologizing and looking for validation! You are everything! 💖
Glen you are not mean! You're logical, direct and honest. Very mature in fact. These people are just projecting all over you that's why they don't like you lool but some of us appreciate you and understand where you're coming from. You're not for the sensitive and that's okay. Y'all need to get out of your feelings okay
🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿
I find it interesting that Yvette’s seasons of life are mostly defined by what’s going on with her children. And that’s no shade.
Just interesting.
Love y’all ✊🏾❤️
To be in a toxic relationship would involve an unsupportive person who does not have your best interest at heart. A toxic person creates an unsafe environment and can have a negative influence on the other person.
😂Yvette is so goofy when she is tired.
Great conversation! Would have been interesting if you both explored what you each find attractive in other people. Then use those lenses to understand what areas within your relationship to build up and keep as much of the attraction within. Keep up the good work!
Lol....
Glen: man, all of my children are toxics
1. Unsupportive
2. Unhealthy emotionally
Hmmmm... I trust you, but I trust God process more.
That "I trust God's process" hit me hard. Glen was preaching!
Lovern Edwards this was my favorite part of the whole podcast 😂. I can relate so much.
This episode made my heart so warm. To hear Glen offer Yvette a safe place to share was so sweet! The security is real. And even if she is not there yet to hear about possibilities of his attraction to someone else, I think him sharing how he reacts and would react is a place to start.
You are a brilliant writer, love the idea of you writing a book Yvette! 🙌
Your conversations challenge me so much on a mental level, I'm of the opinion that sometimes people romanticize so much about relationships that we honestly minus the work or effort that has to be present beyond point of courtship and on an individual level. I appreciate this platform so much.
Yvette...I'm already excited about your ideas! God, I ask that Your hands be upon Yvette's ideas, that all things will fall into place, that she would meet the right ppl at the right time and that Jesus will be glorified in all of it! In Jesus' name I pray, Amen!
The both of you are awesome. That's what I have to say. I pray God helps to keep being real and vulnerable and true to yourselves.
It is honestly beautiful to see how you interact with one another. Thank you for sharing. Love the different persepctives. Hoping I can get to that mindset soon.
41:11 When she realized she was about say a lie 😭😭😭 I died laughing. Self audit in live action, how cool
😂💎
that coming back and acting like nothing is wrong is CARIBBEAN PAREEENNNTTTSSSSS
Wow I love Glen’s response to if Yvette is attracted to someone. I’m TOTALLY adapting that mindset bc I struggle with getting feeling less than too.
On the subject of not being able to apologize without "but", I HIGHLY recommend Brene Brown's podcast episode featuring Harriet Lerner : I’m Sorry: How To Apologize & Why It Matters. dropped some serious gems I sent it to my whole family. Also I think toxicity is failure to take accountability for your part and your wrong doing.
Yes Yes YES!! Those 2 Brene episodes are the REAL DEAL!!!!
I hope one day y'all can do like a podcast tour or something and do a live recording of the podcast, that'll be dope! Come to Maryland if you do! lol
You never tell your significant other you are attracted to someone: "protect your life"
Stay guarded people, so many fallen people say, " next thing I knew we were ...", you know it happens mostly at work, that's where you put the most time in, or even places you frequent, a couple of kind interactions, & boom feelings begin to flow, so be sober everywhere.
“Cause I am your friend,I am your friend”❤️🔥
Their bond is so genuine. I love it!
That is NOT a thing for women. I do not daydream about fine brothers. It's not even a full thought..just a drop and pass.
futureme.org is a good way to send messages to yourself in the future. Have definitely found it useful over the years.
@@HowMarriedAreYouPodcast I highly recommend it Yvette, you can send messages 1,3 and 5 years into the future and it will email you the message after that elapsed amount of time. I've made myself tear up a few times from the encouragement, hope and dreams sent to me by my past self. If you sign up for an account which I think should still be free you can look back on old messages once they've been sent.
Toxic arguments to me means argument without a purpose, mainly to disturb, disrupt, and to tear down. Not arguing to get to a conclusion or bring resolution, but to use the argument as a tool to lash out.
Only God keeps spouses faithful.
"You watching Idris?" *wink* lol I love Yvette!
Toxic arguing is: gaslighting. A whole lot.
You guys are amazing! I love listening to the podcast. I also love Glen's vibe and the way he looks at Evette like truly how a man in love should look. You both are so blessed and super in love and that I can sense it through the screen. Keep it up!
“You don’t imagine your life together” 😂😂 great great stuff I’ve been binge watching
@16:10 into the podcast, "whooh", I literally did that when "Beleaf" gave def of "toxic", yes I agree! The characteristic is pride, not willing to admit to wrong/apologize, and precede as if nothing is or went wrong, and we know what God thinks of pride and how He deals with it. Humility should be highly desired, pursued and maintained throughout this life's journey.... Back to podcast 🤩
Yvette I was just wondering if you’ve mastered pot roast yet?
@@HowMarriedAreYouPodcast I sent you an easy recipe a few months back. Go for it!
I’m here for the book mrs wants to write. Looking back at this and how far she has come, I don’t read anymore but that would be my definite start to reading.
Toxicity: when one degrades, diminishes, abuses, or demonstrates behavior that is contrary for building up or edifying the other individual/situation. It promotes unhealthy atmospheres/environments.
Toxicity can be in the moment or it can be an ongoing issue/behavior.
The mock wedding was sooo sweet & cute!
Manipulation is definitely part of toxicity in my view. But then again, that’s only if we accept that you have to know you are toxic to be toxic...
14:01. OMG!!! Feelings mutual for my three children. Side eyeing my kids as i type this
The way Glenn looks at Yvette... ❤️
I would say it is a toxic fight if your partner is being disrespectful, if they are saying bad things to you and about you everytime you make a mistake. We all know how we feel after a fight, its never good, but you can not me distroyed, feeling bad about yourself every single time
Am I toxic? 😂
Yvette always opens the door for her to get offended.
Honestly though thank you so much for taking the time to share these moments and conversations with us❤️
THERAPIST popped up in my mind immediately About Glenn. 😂 You guys compliment each other so much bc All careers you guys listed I can see both of y’all killing it in all the same fields ! 💪🏽
Come on Yvette you can slay these goals. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Sometimes thinking someone outside of your spouse is just your human nature…. Only thing makes it dangerous is if you see a life with that person.
I really love these episodes- you guys are great to watch and listen to. I'd definitely be interested in a Mrs Melanin headwrap line :)
Glen said 'love doesnt keep a man faithful.' I'd be super interested to hear what you both define love as. Had this debate with a friend of mine and I think my opinion was/is you can't define love without talking about action so love is more of a verb than a noun. So how would you define romantic love and maybe how would you distinguish that from a crush, infatuation or fling? Do you think it's possible for a committed spouse to fall in love with someone else based on your definition?
I know I am not the only one who be jamming out to the beginning like walking into the club and your song on.
Yevette! That journal to yourself is a book or a series of books based on the facets/stages of yourself. I would definitely buy it. 🤚🏽
OMG Glen is so like my hubby. Am triggered but not in a bad way. Gosh this episode has me in my feels for sure. May need a part 2 of the attraction question.
The Gottman Institute does a great job of breaking down the difference between healthy conflict and toxic arguments. They identify unhealthy and toxic conflict in four traits that they call the four horsemen of conflict: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. If your conflict is consistently exhibiting any or all of the four, your arguments could be categorized as toxic. Also, I wish men would stop perpetuating this unfounded claim that *only* men are visual. People with eyes and sight are visual. Women are just as aesthetically aroused as men. 🙄
i know im super late. but being toxic is much deeper than being unsupportive but that's part of it. but to add to you guys, i would say being toxic is being unsupportive but wanting to be suported (narcissism is toxic)
"love doesn't keep a. man faithful" ... wow
I believe you two couple become a marriage mentor. Young black marriages like myself NEED it. Where do you find black marital mentors?
Loving this podcast!!!
Omg I would LOVE to go a How Married Are You Retreat!!
I'd love for you guys to take the Myers-Brigg Personality Type Indicator if you haven't already. Glen's hypothetical reaction to Yvette's hypothetical attraction sounded like operating from a place of Ti logic. Glen, are you an INTP? And Yvette an ENFJ?
Glen that's what happen when you don't have game...You don't even recognize game and the next thing you know you're giving them your phone number. LOL!!! She's so sweet. I love you guys.
41:44 love does not keep a man faithful...........penny dropped. wooooooooooooow! some truth right here fam...
Toxic is not a cut and dry thing. There is depth to toxicity. Toxicity is not automatically equal to the end. It really means that work needs to be done.
If we look at the physical environment, if something is toxic, at low levels the effects will be mild at higher levels the effects be greater. Also, different types of organisms can survive in different environments.
You have to know who you are and do the work. I agree with Glen, where your children can be toxic but the effects that you face as a parent will not be as great because once you're a parent, you adopt parenthood. You know who you are in that role and you grow into it.
In relationships with other adults, this becomes trickier. You have to know what your boundaries are, you can't just take it if it is not uplifting you.
To really address the question, we need to know more information because I wonder if someone is holding on to being right or if someone is trying to blame the other person.
Therapy for sure can help you think about your environment and the people in your life to address if it is toxic or normal.
I think it's toxic when you downplay someone else's contribution to something. As far as pretending to be ok with a situation and you're not depends on who you are dealing with. Some people can take you confronting the situation as being confrontational in a negative way so you'd rather avoid dealing with it and pray they see themselves. Arguing about the same thing over and over again is toxic because someone either need to come to terms with it or someone needs to change or both.
I think toxicity in conversations looks like cutting someone off and not seeking to understand them. I think the silent treatment.
I feel that...not having your husband trying to keep you accountable with the things on your heart that you shared with him. My husband does that sometimes. I will tell him something and he will make it his responsibility to MAKE me get it done....uh...NO BRUH! I love him more than I love anyone else. He is my FAVORITE PERSON in the whole world...SO...I just tell him that I appreciate his support but I will go at my own pace. 🙂
Nah Glen, you're wrong lol, women look, think daaaarrn he's beautiful.... and that's it really, I am convinced men take that thought further! 😂😂😂😂
Yvette at 28:27 with line of podcast with Glen's follow up is pure comedy
Yvette you crack me up😂 brutal Honesty 😆 gotta love it!
"So that was called accountability" LOL
God bless y'alls marriage!! I really enjoy your content and openness.
Lol "I'm telling you I'm the sturdy one." Wow how do I get like that?
Oohhh. I disagree about the 'lingering thoughts.' My husband and I had a beautiful morning and decided to go run some errands. During the time I was inside a facility and he hadn't yet come in, I saw a man I thought was incredibly attractive. I had my sunglasses on so I watched him discreetly for a few seconds. During that short amount of time, I wondered if I could see myself with him.
Understand...this was a fleeting sentiment and I LOVE my husband, but it crossed my mind. I never considered cheating or leaving my current situation, but I am a human being, with thoughts and feelings...and the ability to make decisions. That is where I think the line gets drawn. One can think, wonder, ponder...and then come back to their senses.
I am happy, yet I am human.
I wonder where I learned that “mind your marriage” ... I’ve definitely been living by that && spreading that gem around 🙌🏾 I also believe Marriage is what you make it. Ahh so many thoughts but once again grateful for this ❤️
Like Yvette I’m excited to be a grandma but I don’t think that beats my excitement for when I’m in my mid 40’s && all my kids are grown💃🏾😂 I promise I was just crying and telling my daughters this week about my biggest goal of being old and looking out to see the family tree , my husband and I created ..😭 then I can just roll over, close my eyes and finally be done with this world 😆
Love this conversation
What's the name of the wrap you use with Uzzi?
She kissed her teeth at Glen's How married are you story because she wanted to hear I am so married that I dont care about none of these other females! I kissed my teeth at the exact same time LOL
As a man: Glen needs to get stronger