I always thought I was weird for not dating lol but I always said I wanted to wait for my husband. I was just never a fan of so many attachments and woundedness. I used to constantly ask God why He always seemed to leave me alone but the way you put it makes me think He's been saving me from a lot of heartbreak and pain
I have asked God this exact question many times and He’s always been generous enough to provide me with a satisfactory answer- to save me from heartbreak. He even allowed my little brother to have a relationship extremely young, at just 18, even if it was chaste, but she left him and it created such immeasurably deep wounds in his heart, I’m not willing to disclose the details of it. He’s been healing, but his heart is not visibly close to God. And the whole time I knew the answer in my head I had a rough time believing it in my heart. I’ve been impatient and ungrateful in my heart with my preservation. This video was a gentle wake-up call. Thank you so much, God bless you all 🙏🏻✝️❤️🔥
Thank you! I never really thought about it this way, I've always felt that something must be wrong with me for never having a relationship per se. This made me feel better ❤️
I'm a 34 yo woman. I went on my first date at 25. I briefly dated a few men during my twenties and early thirties, but nothing that got close to being serious. I started dating my boyfriend at 33. He's my first relationship. Some of us are just (very) late bloomers compared to others. There's nothing wrong with it. Most relationships are not worth being in.
Same here! That’s exactly my ongoing story too. Never even went out with a lady until my mid-20s, and then in my early thirties I was going on first, 2nd, and 3rd or more dates here and there but nothing serious cuz the women always pulled away. Now, 34, I’m finally dating as a committed couple. However, it wasn’t until I deliberately started rejecting purity culture and the deep seated fear of sexuality that pervades conservative Christianity. Like many nice guys, I was so afraid of hurting someone and making a mistake sexually that I was relationally paralyzed. The idealism (and idolatry) of purity and virginity, while good to a limited extent, have impeded my own emotional development and relationship building, let alone romantic and sexual inexperience. I’m intentionally “de-pruding” and allowing myself to make mistakes in a relationship, and thankfully I’m with someone who makes and forgives mistakes. Ideologies like purity culture tell you all about what not to do and what’s wrong with modern relationships, but it never teaches you how to date effectively, how to be playful in romance, or how to become and enjoy a lover before marriage. Instead of showing how to navigate the emotional high sea of modern dating and how to traverse the rocky terrain of imperfect relationships, the fearmongering and perfectionism of purity culture urges us to stay safe and sterile at home away from the adventure of romance and the exploration of sex. Relationships are messy and your partner (and you) are never ideal, but that’s where the fun, intimacy, and authenticity are!
@@danieldefonce The misleading messaging I often see is that the celibacy as devoted to God and celibacy as in waiting for marriage are often treated the same. The are not. One becomes different graces for each. Then by extension dating and pre-marital abstinence are also treated similarly. I don't think that's sinplified is helpful. It's very different to abstain while in relationship, and living a celibate life for the sake of the Kingdom. Having said that, premarital intimate relations are wrong and should be avoided. My point is rather, the messaging should be more nuanced. There's a difference in approaching one's sexuality according to the state of life. Different struggles and different means. I think that difference is not often communicated well enough.
This was a very encouraging video! I am 23 years old and have only ever gone on a date with two guys, and it never went anywhere. I hope to find a spouse in the Lord’s timing, and it’s so comforting to hear that my lack of experience isn’t weird when all of my friends have been dating since they were teenagers.
I'm 34 yrs old. My 1st & only relationship I had was when I was 15 yrs. I really dont know if my future is to be married or to a consecrated life. Im so confused but videos really helps
I’m not really sure what the secret is. Emotional wounds are a real thing and will keep you from opening up to someone else. Triggers happen. I’m a revert and had to change a lot.
I found that people I dated who had dated early did not know themselves as well as others who hadn't dated. It makes sense though. If you have gone outside yourself for validation and growth it's very different than internally handling that. And I don't mean that they were in 'controlling' relationships. Just that often, because they weren't by themselves they weren't more or less forced to learn their own heart.
I promised myself that I would ask only one women to marry me. I found a woman who was Catholic, same race and everything. I thought she was modest, she was single and I went for broke. She sayed no immediately for no reason (She kept saying she was eager for marriage, she does not consider herself or probably men on looks and I think I am the first person to have done so.) which is her right of course. Well I did not take that well granted but she kept hurting me and she definitely is not modest (I tried correcting her in private and she attacked me for trying to correct her on the matter. She made a vice out of virtue.). I tried reconciling not looking for anything romantic and it turns out she had betrayed certain other feelings (Not this matter I think.) to my family and lied and gaslit me over it. She refuses to reconcile even though I did absolutely nothing to her for a day shy of a quarter of a year (Not an exaggeration.) so yeah I am very weird I guess. I hate her not for rejecting me (I had accepted it.) but for going behind my back on numerous occasions, being unreasonable, not taking correction even though she was more than ready to grandstand over my faults and being a prig. Oh and abandoning me when I needed help and again I had done literally nothing to her for nearly three months!
Spoiler alert: if you’re a 27 year old man and never had a gf, give up, its over. Its never gonna happen no matter how hard you try, even if you want a family.
@ I’m completely defeated. All I do now is work out to distract myself from isolation and try and make myself bigger and toned but its not helping my mental health. Im powerless.
@@Mistah_Boombastic_BiggieCheesebrother this mindset is no way to go about it. Especially if you are like this in public, no woman is going to want to approach you. Body language speaks volumes. Be confident and focus in doing the will of God. Serve Him and seek Him always. If he wants you to become married, it will happen if you follow him-actually follow him. If that’s not His will for you, let it be. It’s for the better. I know actions are harder than words, but you’ve got this!
I always thought I was weird for not dating lol but I always said I wanted to wait for my husband. I was just never a fan of so many attachments and woundedness. I used to constantly ask God why He always seemed to leave me alone but the way you put it makes me think He's been saving me from a lot of heartbreak and pain
@@jovieangel17 just dont even try to find anybody. You’ll fail anyway
I have asked God this exact question many times and He’s always been generous enough to provide me with a satisfactory answer- to save me from heartbreak. He even allowed my little brother to have a relationship extremely young, at just 18, even if it was chaste, but she left him and it created such immeasurably deep wounds in his heart, I’m not willing to disclose the details of it. He’s been healing, but his heart is not visibly close to God. And the whole time I knew the answer in my head I had a rough time believing it in my heart. I’ve been impatient and ungrateful in my heart with my preservation. This video was a gentle wake-up call. Thank you so much, God bless you all 🙏🏻✝️❤️🔥
Please pray for his healing
@@EduardoMorales-sn4kp the right person will never leave you
Thank you! I never really thought about it this way, I've always felt that something must be wrong with me for never having a relationship per se. This made me feel better ❤️
I'm a 34 yo woman. I went on my first date at 25. I briefly dated a few men during my twenties and early thirties, but nothing that got close to being serious. I started dating my boyfriend at 33. He's my first relationship. Some of us are just (very) late bloomers compared to others. There's nothing wrong with it. Most relationships are not worth being in.
Same here! That’s exactly my ongoing story too. Never even went out with a lady until my mid-20s, and then in my early thirties I was going on first, 2nd, and 3rd or more dates here and there but nothing serious cuz the women always pulled away. Now, 34, I’m finally dating as a committed couple. However, it wasn’t until I deliberately started rejecting purity culture and the deep seated fear of sexuality that pervades conservative Christianity. Like many nice guys, I was so afraid of hurting someone and making a mistake sexually that I was relationally paralyzed. The idealism (and idolatry) of purity and virginity, while good to a limited extent, have impeded my own emotional development and relationship building, let alone romantic and sexual inexperience. I’m intentionally “de-pruding” and allowing myself to make mistakes in a relationship, and thankfully I’m with someone who makes and forgives mistakes. Ideologies like purity culture tell you all about what not to do and what’s wrong with modern relationships, but it never teaches you how to date effectively, how to be playful in romance, or how to become and enjoy a lover before marriage. Instead of showing how to navigate the emotional high sea of modern dating and how to traverse the rocky terrain of imperfect relationships, the fearmongering and perfectionism of purity culture urges us to stay safe and sterile at home away from the adventure of romance and the exploration of sex. Relationships are messy and your partner (and you) are never ideal, but that’s where the fun, intimacy, and authenticity are!
I don’t think refraining from sex until marriage is idealizing purity
@@danieldefonce The misleading messaging I often see is that the celibacy as devoted to God and celibacy as in waiting for marriage are often treated the same. The are not. One becomes different graces for each. Then by extension dating and pre-marital abstinence are also treated similarly. I don't think that's sinplified is helpful. It's very different to abstain while in relationship, and living a celibate life for the sake of the Kingdom.
Having said that, premarital intimate relations are wrong and should be avoided.
My point is rather, the messaging should be more nuanced. There's a difference in approaching one's sexuality according to the state of life. Different struggles and different means. I think that difference is not often communicated well enough.
YES! I needed this one since I am in this category still at age 28😅
This was a very encouraging video! I am 23 years old and have only ever gone on a date with two guys, and it never went anywhere. I hope to find a spouse in the Lord’s timing, and it’s so comforting to hear that my lack of experience isn’t weird when all of my friends have been dating since they were teenagers.
Thank you for watching! We're glad it was a blessing to you!
I'm 34 yrs old. My 1st & only relationship I had was when I was 15 yrs. I really dont know if my future is to be married or to a consecrated life. Im so confused but videos really helps
Wow. I never thought of it in this way! Thank you so much for making this video!
God bless you and all your family🙏🏼
God bless you, too!
This is helpful, thank you!
Praise the Lord for keeping me from many unnecesary suffering and wounds!
Thank you!!! Very good timing on this video!
I’m not really sure what the secret is. Emotional wounds are a real thing and will keep you from opening up to someone else. Triggers happen. I’m a revert and had to change a lot.
I found that people I dated who had dated early did not know themselves as well as others who hadn't dated.
It makes sense though. If you have gone outside yourself for validation and growth it's very different than internally handling that. And I don't mean that they were in 'controlling' relationships. Just that often, because they weren't by themselves they weren't more or less forced to learn their own heart.
Beautiful. Thank you
Went on 3 dates (2 different women), I'm 32 now.
"Don't give up on dating..."
Hoping for a good reason... none
Met my wife at WYD Rio .. ever since, she stays pregnant every year.
I bet she's thrilled? Lol. And Honestly I don't know how healthy for her that is?
❤
🙏
I've dated 2.5 times and I'm still lame and weird haha
0.5? 🧐
@@joane24 Date got a phone call, or went to the bathroom and never came back.
I promised myself that I would ask only one women to marry me. I found a woman who was Catholic, same race and everything. I thought she was modest, she was single and I went for broke. She sayed no immediately for no reason (She kept saying she was eager for marriage, she does not consider herself or probably men on looks and I think I am the first person to have done so.) which is her right of course. Well I did not take that well granted but she kept hurting me and she definitely is not modest (I tried correcting her in private and she attacked me for trying to correct her on the matter. She made a vice out of virtue.). I tried reconciling not looking for anything romantic and it turns out she had betrayed certain other feelings (Not this matter I think.) to my family and lied and gaslit me over it. She refuses to reconcile even though I did absolutely nothing to her for a day shy of a quarter of a year (Not an exaggeration.) so yeah I am very weird I guess. I hate her not for rejecting me (I had accepted it.) but for going behind my back on numerous occasions, being unreasonable, not taking correction even though she was more than ready to grandstand over my faults and being a prig. Oh and abandoning me when I needed help and again I had done literally nothing to her for nearly three months!
Why are you wasting your time thinking about this person? Or talking about her on here? Move on. Meet someone who wants to marry you.
@@FoodFreedomUSA Why bother writing this? In fact you at no point even commiserated me.
Spoiler alert: if you’re a 27 year old man and never had a gf, give up, its over. Its never gonna happen no matter how hard you try, even if you want a family.
yiiiiiiiikes. Can't tell if you're actually that bitter or just trolling....
@ I’m completely defeated. All I do now is work out to distract myself from isolation and try and make myself bigger and toned but its not helping my mental health. Im powerless.
@@Mistah_Boombastic_BiggieCheese God bless you ❤ it shall be well
@@Mistah_Boombastic_BiggieCheesebrother this mindset is no way to go about it. Especially if you are like this in public, no woman is going to want to approach you. Body language speaks volumes. Be confident and focus in doing the will of God. Serve Him and seek Him always. If he wants you to become married, it will happen if you follow him-actually follow him. If that’s not His will for you, let it be. It’s for the better. I know actions are harder than words, but you’ve got this!
My boyfriend is 29 and he hasn’t dated anyone besides me, don’t give up hope!
Absolutely withdrawn. Taking the backseat to the Lord. Just so done.