AITA for screaming and banning my step mother after what she said to my mother? | UPDATES
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 พ.ย. 2023
- AITA for screaming and banning my step mother after what she said to my mother? r/AITA
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#redditstories #aita #redditupdate #reddit
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As someone who has been abandoned, this op is just such an ah! How can the op turn down the stepmom, deny a dance, and side with the one who abandoned them? Even the little sister is on stepmom's side for crying out loud!
Yeah it’s really nasty behavior. Step mother is only upset cause she’s blatantly seeing that Op has discarded her when she treated her AND OPs little sister like family and like her own
Why can't step mom have a dance
@@dubc04life Exactly! OP is literally excluding the actual non
@dubc04life because op is stupid I think? Like, why are you excluding the one person who has been there for you your whole life?
The rotten selfish apple didn't fall far from the rotten selfish tree. This woman took her in at her most vulnerable and split her time n attention between her own baby and her!!! While her birth mum had left her like a pile of garbage. Oh sorry maybe step mums house would be bigger if she had spent time making money n not raising op! Maybe step sis would have benefited not having her mothers attention split to raise abandoned you! Maybe you wouldnt have had and partner or wedding because u would have been emotionally stunned if this stepmum had not stepped in to give u the love u needed to develop at such an important age! But yeah new mum has a big house she goes first. Zero loyalty to the woman who saved u from the woman who abandoned u. Op inherited 100% birth mums selfishness. Many animals will die trying to keep their offspring safe while its still a baby. U n ur mum are cut from the same cloth.
“I came here for others opinions, not others opinions” is what I gathered at the end
it started out as like "okay, step mom is acting a lil mean wanting to exclude her mom" and then OP denied her a dance and then it was downhill from there. i do think thr step mom shouldnt have made a scene at the dinner since thatll spoil the whole event but i think that outburst was caused by OP treating stepmom differently then mom. if OP was treating them as equals and step mom wasnt happy and made a scene then i can see OP's point but she didnt. she treated them differently and was making the woman who raised her not get that special moment. OP is the asshole. i get forgiving her mom since she came back when she was young and such since people make mistakes and they can change from that and learn from it. but she treated the step mom like she wasnt the one who raised her
op is so ungrateful towards her step mom. I can understand why step mom felt the way she did. She loved op as her own daughter and raised her well. Op gave every mother role in her wedding to bio even though bio didnt act like a real mom. Step mom must have felt so betrayed and hurt.
Wow. At the end, she really went all out with calling her bio-sis and bio-mom “mom and sis”- and started calling her family that raised her and lived with her “step-sis” and “step-mom”.
I thought it was just to clarify who was who and not confuse us.
Things that struck me as important:
1)Biomom speech at the last engagement party, from all the things she could say, why talk about raising op?
2)the half sibling, who is biomom's daughter, sided with step mom and claimed that she was the real mom who raised them.
It is no coincidence that reddit though op was interested in money. I think op is disingenuous, i wouldn't say is because of money but i don't discard the possibility. I think is more due to status and appearance for me.
There was another story on Reddit from a man that raised his stepdaughter all her life after her deadbeat biodad abandoned her and her mom at a young age just so after all this years of taking care of both of them and paying for everything daughter could reconcile with her bio dad and ask him to work her done the aisle on a wedding still totally paid for by stepdad.
I don’t know what’s going on in this people’s head but it seems like sometimes people just go for blood relatives for no reason. Guess for some it’s just more important than anything else and it happens more often then movies with lines like “you’re the real father/mother for raising me” led us to believe.
@@user-fw1dl7zj5h ive met tons of abandoned kids in real life, their stories may differ, but there is a pain in abandonment that rarely heals. It is not always the desire to go back and relive childhood, but more so the need to listen and try, when to anyone else the situation is inexcusable.
Imagine siding with your mother After she abandoned you, Got pregnant from another man kid, literally making your stepmom the bad guy while she raised you, and then getting mad because everyone is taking the stepmoms side. Op yeah it was kind of sad that your stepmom made a whole scene. but this wouldn't have happened if you treated both of your mom's the Same. Smh shame on Op and the mom.
So the woman who raised her gets thrown away when deadbeat mommy feels like coming back for convenience.
Imagine going to reddit asking if aita and then getting mad when getting roasted in the comments for being a terrible person.
Literally. “I came for people’s opinions but I don’t like the opinions y’all gave”. Makes her look even for like the AH.
@@kanng1031 imagen being raised my someone and then dicideing the person that literally gave up her kids because they got in the way of her life was the more important person.
nah the stepmom was a day 1
Imagine the sister who you grew up with - call her step sister, whereas bio mother's daughter is... Just sister. To be fair, she has 2 stepsisters, but one is seen as a real sister, not a fake stepsister.
YTA you chose to dance with the lady that abandoned you and only came back to leave another child under your dads care while she grew her social circle and career.
Meanwhile your dad and mom sacrifices their time and energy to raise you and your sisters and you won't even dance with her.
Wtf.
Mom only came back and apologized because you left her no other options. They will hopefully distance themselves from you after the wedding and you can hang out with that orher woman you like so much.
Also "bio mom" (the one who abamdoned you) was making a dig at your mom.
She's a conniving mean lady to specifically speak about "raising you" in front of your mom.
I bet she's been rubbing her the wrong way on purpose for a very long time cause she's kinda evil.
OP: I only came hear for other’s opinions
Redditors tell her their honest opinion that she’s a terrible person
OP: no, that’s not what I meant
"I just wanted your opinions not to say bad things" what do you thibk opinions are?
You don't want our opinion, you want everyone to make you feel better. Sorry hun, the Internet doesn't sugar coat stuff!
Clearly the op is the ah
there are so many ah moves i don’t even know who’s in the wrong here. the daughter is ruining one relationship while starting another, the stepmom is being immature and not communicating her feelings, and the bio mom is taking credit for a child she didn’t have any involvement in raising (although i commend her for trying to be a part of her life).
She probably didn't communicate her feelings because she knew her stepdaughter wouldn't listen. It's clear that the stepdaughter only cares about her own opinion and those that agree with her. That's why she got angry when ppl were honest and didn't take her side. Stepmother probably only gave in because she didn't want to ruin the relationship between her stepdaughter and husband/stepsister.
In my opinion out of all people OP is the biggest AH out of all. Everything between her step-mom and bio mom wouldn’t happen if OP didn’t throw her step-mother away like that. Yes, OP is the bride but her decisions were merely selfish and blind-sided. Nothing wouldn’t had happen if she actually thought of the people who ACTUALLY took care of her and love her, her bio mom isn’t really at the top. I’m not saying the Bio mom deserves to be behind everything, but the step-mom deserves credit for many things that her BIO MOM really thought SHE did. (Big mistake & selfish move of Bio mom saying she was involved in OPS childhood when that’s not true at all.) The way her step-mom reacted was very poor too, yet her upsetting feelings are pretty justified though.
ESH. Op was too quick to cut out Stepmom, Stepmom was being hostile for having biomom be more included even just sitting in the front row and caused such a public scene, and biomom for not respecting the woman who raised op
Imagine siding with ur boo mom after she raised you and made u gave a relationship with the one who abandoned you, also stop defending and try to see things as how they are
I get why op could be the AH, but I also think that the stepmom went overboard. Also, the bio mom admitted what she did was wrong. Op’s mom gave him time and was ok if he didn’t accept her. Also, the bio mom waited til she got her life together before she came looking for op. His mom made sure she chose the best time to get back in contact so she wouldn’t abuse him due to her mental problems.
So overall, I don’t think op is the AH.
This is complicated… I agree with the stepmother, however doing it before the wedding probably added unnecessary tension. Stepmom is expressing her emotions but shouldn’t verbally attack the biological mom. The biological mother is NOT a mother, she came back when she had another child in an attempt to be seen as a “good mom”. She abandoned OP & then turned around to put biological mother on a pedestal, because in my eyes, the wedding is at the “lake house”. I was raised by a stepmother & I could truthfully never imagine having them in competition/comparing them in anyway, & I would NEVER choose between the two. I would treat them as EQUALS. They both played large roles in my life, however my stepmother will always have a special place in my heart, as she took me in as her own, took care of me & all my funds until I was 17.
OP reiterating that she isn’t using her mothers money just makes me believe she is more.. she wanted nothing to do with the biological mom until the wedding came about, even admitting that biological mom was busy with “work & friends”, so she didn’t play a large role in the raising process. She doesn’t get to step back in & be mommy of the year now that she wants to be a mom. Stepmom has every right to feel pushed out. OP didn’t even have the decency to have a dance for her & stepmom, only putting mom on the frontline.
OP is the AH. No denying that.
... wow... step mom couldn't even get a dance, do you know how much harder it is to love someone elses child like your own... then it is to love your own child, and she did that... apparently 10x over... and she couldn't even get a dance... thats seriously cold... Definitely The A-hole
Yes you’re the AH straight up
I don’t believe anyone in these comments saying they watched the full video.
Whoa! Everyone needs therapy
This is so sad.😢
I don't understand why both the moms couldn't have a dance?? why not let step mom have a dance too???
At least this resolved well and they can come away from this bigger people.
OP is an AH by not including stepmom more but I feel likesome people in the comments are ignoring that the mom didn't just come back. OP's mom has been back in her life for damn near 20 years. She grew up in a blended family with both stepsister and half-sister and having a family relationship with all 3 of her parents. She was trying to all 3 of them represented and that should have been reflected in the dance.
HOWEVER It's crazy how no one is saying step-mom was the AH for highjacking OP's engagement celebration just to put OP's bio-mom in her place. I think anyone would have exploded if someone was to do something like that their engagement party. Wedding planning is stressful and stepmom wrong for that.
I hate OP
Ok i dont care what coming after 7 years??? Ehat if something happened to you and you died op? Your step mum was there to help you walk and talk ungrateful b is what the op is
I think the step mother never really should’ve felt to intrude in the situation. that being said; she did in her heart basically adopt you, she did raise you, so I can understand being upset and feeling abandoned or replaced. It’s strange, but I really think no one in this story acted right, but I don’t think anyone is in the wrong, at least besides the way they acted /reacted
I watched the full video.
1. Mom abandoned OP as a baby and stepmom cared for OP as a baby.
2. Mom came back into the picture when OP was 7 years old and they developed a bond and a relationship that was encouraged by the father and stepmom, OP spent about 25% of their childhood time from then on with their biomom and the rest with the stepmom and dad
3. OP is old enough to get married, so it's been >10 years of having their mom in their life but stepmom is upset about the mom being involved in anything and wants the mom to sit in the very back row, and pitched a fit and yelled at the mom at a party when the mom wanted to make a speech to the couple.
4. Somehow people are gleaning from this that OP is a money hungry asshole who isn't grateful for their stepmom??? Wtf?
I watched the full video too! Why did redditer Said she was money hungry? I only saw is that she literally taking a woman who abandoned her over the step mother who was an actual mom to her.
Hi op 😂
because op is, bio mom wasn’t there for shit and to say she raised her at her engagement party is so disrespectful to step mom
Clearly you didn't or have just chosen to ignore the ending... You missed off how the whole of Reddit thought op was ah and even bio Mums younger daughter now considers step Mum is her real Mum
@suger_gumdrop1392 this is the problem with step kids that happens sometimes. As much as people say thar blood doesn't matter there are a lot of times where when the kid is given the choice they will say can I have my bio parents dance with me instead of the married parents. Sometimes with over a decade of love and attention they will say I only want blood to dance with me. Hell there are cases where the mom has a one night stand kid finds bio dad and when they come to the wedding that the bio dad has a dance whilst the step dad doesn't get one
This comment section is making me loose faith in humanity’s intelligence.
As a stepchild myself OP is way out of line. If her stepmother had been a terrible parent I would understand. But she describes her as wonderful. I feel that OP doesn't realize what she has and will one day regret her actions. I also wonder if Bio mom has been putting things in her head. That isn't uncommon. I hope stepmother gets treated better in the future.
I love my stepdad and cannot wait to have a father/daughter dance with him someday.❤
Imagine siding with ur boo mom after she raised you and made u gave a relationship with the one who abandoned you, also stop defending and try to see things as how they are